No matter how hard you might try, you can't just flip a switch when you step into the office and turn your emotions off. Feeling feelings is part of being human.
Koliko god da se trudite, ne možete samo da pritisnete prekidač kada uđete u kancelariju i da isključite emocije. Osećanja su deo ljudskosti.
[The Way We Work]
[Način na koji radimo]
A pervasive myth exists that emotions don't belong at work, and this often leads us to mistakenly equate professionalism with being stoic or even cold. But research shows that in the moments when our colleagues drop their glossy professional presentation, we're actually much more likely to believe what they're telling us. We feel connected to the people around us. We try harder, we perform better and we're just generally kinder. So it's about time that we learn how to embrace emotion at work.
Postoji uporan mit da emocijama nije mesto na poslu, a to nas često vodi tome da pogrešno izjednačavamo profesionalizam sa stoicizmom ili hladnoćom. Ali istraživanja pokazuju da u trenucima kada naše kolege odbace svoj upeglani profesionalni nastup, pre ćemo poverovati u ono što nam govore. Osećamo se povezanim sa ljudima oko nas. Više se trudimo, bolje radimo i uopšte, ljubazniji smo. Tako da je pravo vreme da naučimo kako da prihvatimo emocije na poslu.
Now, that's not to say you should suddenly become a feelings fire hose. A line exists between sharing, which builds trust, and oversharing, which destroys it. If you suddenly let your feelings run wild at work and give people far more information than they bargained for, you make everyone around you uncomfortable and you also undermine yourself. You're more likely to be seen as weak or lacking self awareness, so, great to say you weren't feeling well last night -- you don't need to go into every lurid detail about how you got reacquainted with your half-digested dinner.
To ne znači da odjednom treba da postanete emocionalna fontana. Postoji granica između deljenja, koje gradi poverenje, i previše deljenja, koje ga uništava. Ako odjednom dozvolite da se osećanja nesmetano izlivaju na poslu i date ljudima više informacija nego što su želeli, svima oko vas će biti neprijatno i ponizićete se. Verovatnije je da će misliti da ste slabi ili da vam nedostaje samosvest, pa je dobro da kažete da vam sinoć nije bilo dobro - ne morate da otkrivate svaki užasni detalj o tome kako ste ponovo sreli svoju polusvarenu večeru.
So there's a wide spectrum of emotional expression. On one hand, you have under-emoters, or people who have a hard time talking about their feelings, and on the other end are over-emoters, those who constantly share everything that's going on inside, and neither of these make for a healthy workplace.
Postoji širok spektar emocionalnog izražavanja. S jedne strane imate one koji ne pokazuju dovoljno, ili ljude kojima je teško da govore o svojim osećanjima, a s druge strane su oni koji previše pokazuju, koji stalno dele sve što im se dešava, ali ni jedni ni drugi ne čine zdravu radnu sredinu.
So what's the balance between these two extremes? It's something called selective vulnerability. Selective vulnerability is opening up while still prioritizing stability and psychological safety, both for you and for your colleagues. Luckily, anyone can learn to be selectively vulnerable, with practice.
Šta je ravnoteža između ova dva ekstrema? Nešto što se naziva selektivna ranjivost. To je otvaranje dok istovremeno vodite računa o stabilnosti i psihološkoj sigurnosti, kako prema sebi, tako i prema kolegama. Srećom, uz vežbu, svako može da nauči da bude selektivno ranjiv.
Here are four ways to get started. First, flag your feelings without becoming emotionally leaky. Bad moods are contagious, and even if you're not vocalizing what you're feeling, chances are your body language or your expressions are a dead giveaway. So if you are crossing your arms or hammering on your keyboard, your coworkers are going to know you're upset. And if you don't say anything, they might start to think it's about them and get worried. So if you are reacting to a non-work-related event, so traffic for example, just flag it. You don't need to go into detail. You can say something as simple as "I'm having a bad morning. It has nothing to do with you." Now if it's a work-related event that's causing you to feel strong emotions, that brings us to point number two.
Evo četiri načina da počnete. Prvo, pokažite osećanja bez preterivanja. Loša raspoloženja su zarazna, i čak i kada ne govorite šta osećate, verovatno jezik vašeg tela ili vaši izrazi lica to otvoreno odaju. Ako prekrštate ruke ili glasno kucate po tastaturi, vaše kolege će znati da ste uznemireni. A ako ništa ne kažete, možda će pomisliti da se radi o njima i zabrinuće se. Dakle, ako reagujete na događaj koji nema veze s poslom, na primer, na saobraćaj, recite to. Ne morate ići u detalje. Recite nešto jednostavno poput: „Dan mi je loše počeo. Nema veze sa tobom.“ Ako događaj koji ima veze s poslom izaziva u vama jake emocije, to nas dovodi do druge tačke.
Try to understand the need behind your emotion, and then address that need. If you suddenly start to find everyone around you irritating, sit back and reflect on that. And it might be that you're irritable because you're anxious, and you're anxious because you're worried about hitting a looming deadline. And in that case, you can go back to your team to address that need and say something like, "I want to make sure I get everything done ahead of the deadline. Can you help me put together a realistic plan to do that?" If you're thinking of sharing, try and put yourself in the other person's shoes. So if what you're about to say would help you feel more supported and better understand the situation, then go ahead and share it. But if it gives you any kind of pause, you might want to leave it out.
Pokušajte da razumete potrebu koja se nalazi iza emocije, i onda se njome pozabavite. Ako vas odjednom svi oko vas nerviraju, sedite i razmislite o tome. Možda ste nervozni jer ste anksiozni, a anksiozni ste jer ste zabrinuti zbog nadolazećeg roka. U tom slučaju, obratite se svom timu kako biste zadovoljili svoju potrebu i recite: „Želim da budem sigurna da ću uraditi sve na vreme. Da li možete da mi pomognete da napravim realan plan za to?" Ako želite da podelite, probajte da se postavite na tuđe mesto. Ako bi ono što želite da kažete učinilo da se osećate podržano i da bolje razumete situaciju, onda to i podelite. Ali ako se iole uzdržavate, možda bi bilo dobro da to izostavite.
And finally, read the room and provide a path forward. If everyone on your team has been pulling long hours, and you notice that one of your colleagues seems particularly deflated or anxious, you can acknowledge that and show some empathy, but then try to give them something actionable that they could hold on to. And in this case, you could suggest that you go to your manager and ask that your weekly meeting be pushed back a day so you both have more time to work. You're showing you're invested in their success, but also that you care about their well-being.
I konačno, napravite procenu i plan za dalje. Ako su svi u vašem timu radili prekovremeno, i primećujete da jedan kolega deluje izduvano ili napeto, recite to i pokažite empatiju, ali onda pokušajte da mu date konkretan savet za koji može da se uhvati. U ovom slučaju, možete da predložite da od menadžera zatražite da se nedeljni sastanak odloži za dan kako biste oboje imali više vremena da radite. Pokazujete da vam je stalo do njegovog uspeha, ali i do njegove dobrobiti.
When we can be honest about what we feel, and freely suggest ideas, make mistakes and just not have to hide every piece of who we are, we're much more likely to stay at the company for a long time. We're also happier and more productive.
Kada možemo iskreno da kažemo šta osećamo, i da slobodno dajemo ideje, da grešimo, i da ne krijemo svaki deo sebe, verovatnije je da ćemo dugo ostati u toj firmi. Takođe smo srećniji i produktivniji.
So take a moment to reflect on the emotional expression that you bring to work each day. And if you are prone to oversharing, try editing. And if you're a little bit more reserved, look for moments when you can open up to your colleagues and be a bit vulnerable. And chances are, there will be a big difference in how people respond to you. And selective vulnerability might just become one of your most valuable tools.
Razmislite o emocionalnom izrazu koji donosite na posao svakog dana. Ako težite da previše delite, probajte da smanjite. Ako ste rezervisaniji, tražite trenutke kada možete da se otvorite kolegama i budete malo ranjiviji. I postoji dobra šansa da ćete videti veliku promenu u odnosu kolega prema vama. Selektivna ranjivost možda postane jedan od vaših najvrednijih alata.