No matter how hard you might try, you can't just flip a switch when you step into the office and turn your emotions off. Feeling feelings is part of being human.
Betapa pun kerasnya mencoba, kau tak bisa ubah suasana hatimu saat masuk kantor dan meniadakan emosimu. Merasakan perasaan adalah bagian dari menjadi manusia.
[The Way We Work]
[Cara Kita Bekerja]
A pervasive myth exists that emotions don't belong at work, and this often leads us to mistakenly equate professionalism with being stoic or even cold. But research shows that in the moments when our colleagues drop their glossy professional presentation, we're actually much more likely to believe what they're telling us. We feel connected to the people around us. We try harder, we perform better and we're just generally kinder. So it's about time that we learn how to embrace emotion at work.
Mitos yang beredar menyebut bahwa perasaan tak terlibat dalam pekerjaan. Hal ini kerap membuat kita salah menyamakan profesionalisme dengan bersikap tabah, bahkan dingin. Namun, riset menunjukkan ketika rekan kerja kita melepas pembawaan profesionalnya, kita sebenarnya lebih yakin dengan ucapan mereka; kita lebih terhubung dengan orang sekitar; kita berusaha lebih keras; kinerja kita lebih baik; dan kita lebih ramah. Sudah waktunya kita mempelajari cara menerima emosi saat bekerja.
Now, that's not to say you should suddenly become a feelings fire hose. A line exists between sharing, which builds trust, and oversharing, which destroys it. If you suddenly let your feelings run wild at work and give people far more information than they bargained for, you make everyone around you uncomfortable and you also undermine yourself. You're more likely to be seen as weak or lacking self awareness, so, great to say you weren't feeling well last night -- you don't need to go into every lurid detail about how you got reacquainted with your half-digested dinner.
Namun, bukan berarti kau lantas meluapkan perasaan dengan membabi buta. Ada batas di antara curhat yang membangun kepercayaan dan curhat berlebih yang menghancurkannya. Jika kau tiba-tiba membiarkan perasaanmu berkeliaran di tempat kerja dan memberi informasi kelewat berlebihan, kau malah membuat sekitarmu tak nyaman dan kau juga merusak diri sendiri. Kau akan dilihat sebagai orang yang lemah atau kurang sadar diri. Bagus kalau kau mengakui dirimu tak enak badan semalam, tapi tak perlu menceritakan setiap detail bagaimana kau mengingat lagi makan malammu yang setengah tercerna. Terdapat spektrum yang luas dalam ekspresi emosional.
So there's a wide spectrum of emotional expression. On one hand, you have under-emoters, or people who have a hard time talking about their feelings, and on the other end are over-emoters, those who constantly share everything that's going on inside, and neither of these make for a healthy workplace.
Di satu sisi, ada hipo-emotif, yaitu orang-orang yang sulit mengutarakan perasaannya. Di sisi lain, ada hiper-emotif, yaitu mereka yang terus menceritakan segala yang ada dalam benaknya. Keduanya tidak membentuk lingkungan kerja sehat. Jadi, apa penyeimbang di antara kedua ekstrem ini?
So what's the balance between these two extremes? It's something called selective vulnerability. Selective vulnerability is opening up while still prioritizing stability and psychological safety, both for you and for your colleagues. Luckily, anyone can learn to be selectively vulnerable, with practice.
Penyeimbang itu disebut kerentanan selektif. Kerentanan selektif ialah sifat terbuka selagi tetap mempertahankan stabilitas dan keamanan psikis, baik untukmu maupun rekan kerjamu. Untungnya, semua bisa belajar berada di kerentanan selektif, lewat latihan. Inilah empat cara memulainya.
Here are four ways to get started. First, flag your feelings without becoming emotionally leaky. Bad moods are contagious, and even if you're not vocalizing what you're feeling, chances are your body language or your expressions are a dead giveaway. So if you are crossing your arms or hammering on your keyboard, your coworkers are going to know you're upset. And if you don't say anything, they might start to think it's about them and get worried. So if you are reacting to a non-work-related event, so traffic for example, just flag it. You don't need to go into detail. You can say something as simple as "I'm having a bad morning. It has nothing to do with you." Now if it's a work-related event that's causing you to feel strong emotions, that brings us to point number two.
Pertama, tandai perasaanmu tanpa harus terbawa perasaan. Suasana hati buruk itu menular. Kalaupun kau tak mengutarakan perasaanmu, kemungkinannya gerak tubuh dan ekspresimu memperlihatkannya. Jika kau menyilangkan lengan atau menekan keras <i>keyboard</i>-mu, rekan kerjamu langsung tahu kalau kau sedang kesal. Jika kau tidak mengatakan apa-apa, mereka mungkin malah merasa bersalah, lalu khawatir. Jika kau bereaksi terhadap hal di luar pekerjaan, lalu lintas misalnya, tandai perasaan itu. Tak perlu mengamati detailnya. Kau dapat berkata secara simpel seperti, “Pagiku kacau. Kau tak ada kaitannya.” Namun, jika pemicunya terkait pekerjaan yang membuatmu merasakan emosi yang kuat, permasalahannya ada di poin kedua. Coba pahami kebutuhan di balik emosimu,
Try to understand the need behind your emotion, and then address that need. If you suddenly start to find everyone around you irritating, sit back and reflect on that. And it might be that you're irritable because you're anxious, and you're anxious because you're worried about hitting a looming deadline. And in that case, you can go back to your team to address that need and say something like, "I want to make sure I get everything done ahead of the deadline. Can you help me put together a realistic plan to do that?" If you're thinking of sharing, try and put yourself in the other person's shoes. So if what you're about to say would help you feel more supported and better understand the situation, then go ahead and share it. But if it gives you any kind of pause, you might want to leave it out.
lalu ungkap kebutuhan itu. Jika tiba-tiba orang di sekitarmu terasa menyebalkan, duduk dan renungkan. Mungkin kau merasa jengkel akibat gelisah dan kau gelisah karena mencemaskan tenggat tugas yang mendekat. Bila begitu, kau bisa kembali ke timmu untuk mengungkapnya dan mengatakan hal seperti, “Aku mau pastikan semua selesai menjelang tenggat waktu. Bisakah kau membantuku menyusun rencana realistis?” Jika kau hendak curhat, bayangkan dirimu di posisi orang lain. Jika yang akan kau katakan membuatmu merasa lebih didukung dan menjadikanmu lebih memahami situasi, silakan curhat. Namun, jika hal itu membuatmu ragu, sebaiknya hindari. Terakhir, baca situasi dan sediakan jalan keluar.
And finally, read the room and provide a path forward. If everyone on your team has been pulling long hours, and you notice that one of your colleagues seems particularly deflated or anxious, you can acknowledge that and show some empathy, but then try to give them something actionable that they could hold on to. And in this case, you could suggest that you go to your manager and ask that your weekly meeting be pushed back a day so you both have more time to work. You're showing you're invested in their success, but also that you care about their well-being.
Jika semua orang di timmu lelah karena lembur dan kau melihat satu rekan kerjamu merasa letih atau gelisah, kau dapat menerimanya dan menunjukkan empati. Namun, beri pula mereka hal yang sanggup dikerjakan dan ditangani. Dalam hal ini, kau bisa tawarkan diri untuk menemui manajer dan memintanya memundurkan sehari jadwal pertemuan sehingga ada waktu kerja lebih. Kau tunjukkan kepedulianmu terhadap kesuksesan dan juga kesehatan mereka. Ketika kita bisa jujur akan apa yang kita rasakan,
When we can be honest about what we feel, and freely suggest ideas, make mistakes and just not have to hide every piece of who we are, we're much more likely to stay at the company for a long time. We're also happier and more productive.
bebas memberi ide, membuat kesalahan, dan tidak menyembunyikan tiap bagian dari diri kita, kita akan cenderung bertahan lebih lama di perusahaan. Kita juga lebih bahagia dan produktif. Jadi, ambillah jeda untuk merenungkan ekspresi emosional
So take a moment to reflect on the emotional expression that you bring to work each day. And if you are prone to oversharing, try editing. And if you're a little bit more reserved, look for moments when you can open up to your colleagues and be a bit vulnerable. And chances are, there will be a big difference in how people respond to you. And selective vulnerability might just become one of your most valuable tools.
yang kau bawa ke tempat kerja tiap harinya. Bila curhatmu cenderung berlebih, coba saring lagi. Jika kau cenderung tertutup, cari momen agar kau bisa terbuka dengan rekan kerjamu dan menjadi lebih sensitif. Percayalah, akan ada perbedaan besar dari bagaimana orang meresponsmu dan kerentanan selektif akan jadi salah satu asetmu yang paling berharga.