I'm here today to talk about a disturbing question, which has an equally disturbing answer. My topic is the secrets of domestic violence, and the question I'm going to tackle is the one question everyone always asks: Why does she stay? Why would anyone stay with a man who beats her? I'm not a psychiatrist, a social worker or an expert in domestic violence. I'm just one woman with a story to tell.
Leo niko hapa kuongea kuhusu swala nyeti, ambalo lina jibu tatanishi. Swala langu ni zile siri za ugomvi nyumbani, na swali nitakalokabiliana nalo ni lile swali moja kila mmoja huliuliza kila mara: Kwa nini muathirika hubakia? Kwa nini mtu yeyote abaki na mume ampigaye? Mie si daktari wa akili, mfanyakazi wa ustawi wa jamii au mtaalam wa ugomvi wa nyumbani. Mimi ni mwanamke mwenye hadithi ya kusimulia.
I was 22. I had just graduated from Harvard College. I had moved to New York City for my first job as a writer and editor at Seventeen magazine. I had my first apartment, my first little green American Express card, and I had a very big secret. My secret was that I had this gun loaded with hollow-point bullets pointed at my head by the man who I thought was my soulmate, many, many times. The man who I loved more than anybody on Earth held a gun to my head and threatened to kill me more times than I can even remember. I'm here to tell you the story of crazy love, a psychological trap disguised as love, one that millions of women and even a few men fall into every year. It may even be your story.
Nilikuwa na umri wa miaka ishirini na miwili. Nilikuwa nimehitimu tu kutoka chuo cha Harvard. Nilikuwa nimehamia mjini New York kwa ajili ya kazi yangu ya kwanza kama mwandishi na mhariri wa gazeti la Seventeen. Nilikuwa na nyumba yangu ya kwanza, kadi yangu ya kwanza ya American Express, na nilikuwa na siri moja kubwa sana. Siri yangu ilikuwa kwamba kulikuwa na bunduki iliyojaa risasi iliyoelekezwa kichwani mwangu na mwanamme niliyefikiria alikuwa mpenzi wangu, mara kadhaa. Mwanamme huyu niliyempenda kuliko yeyote duniani alielekeza bunduki kichwani mwangu na kutishia kuniua mara nyingi kuliko zile ningeweza kukumbuka. Niko hapa kuwapa hadithi ya upendo wa kupindukia, mtego wa kisaikolojia uliofichwa kama mapenzi, ambao mamilioni ya wanawake na hata wanaume wengine hutumbukia kila mwaka. Inaweza hata kuwa hadithi yako.
I don't look like a typical domestic violence survivor. I have a B.A. in English from Harvard College, an MBA in marketing from Wharton Business School. I've spent most of my career working for Fortune 500 companies including Johnson & Johnson, Leo Burnett and The Washington Post. I've been married for almost 20 years to my second husband and we have three kids together. My dog is a black lab, and I drive a Honda Odyssey minivan. (Laughter)
Sionekani kama mtu niliyenusurika na ugomvi katika mahusiano. Nina shahada ya sanaa katika Kiigereza kutoka chuo cha Harvard, na shahada ya juu katika mauzo kutoka kwa chuo cha biashara cha Wharton. Nimetumia muda mrefu maishani nikifanya kazi kwenye kampuni bora duniani zikiwemo Johnson & Johnson, Leo Burnett na The Washington Post. Nimeolewa takriban miaka ishirini kwa mme wangu wa pili na tuna wana watatu pamoja Mbwa wangu ni mweusi, na mie huendesha gari ndogo la Honda Odyssey. (Kicheko)
So my first message for you is that domestic violence happens to everyone -- all races, all religions, all income and education levels. It's everywhere. And my second message is that everyone thinks domestic violence happens to women, that it's a women's issue. Not exactly. Over 85 percent of abusers are men, and domestic abuse happens only in intimate, interdependent, long-term relationships, in other words, in families, the last place we would want or expect to find violence, which is one reason domestic abuse is so confusing.
Kwa hivyo ujumbe wangu wa kwanza kwenu ni kwamba ugomvi wa nyumbani humtokea yeyote-- kila jamii,dini, kila kipato na ngazi ya kimasomo. Iko kila mahali. Na ujumbe wangu wa pili ni kwamba kila mtu hufikiri ugomvi wa nyumbani huwaathiri wanawake, ati ni swala la wanawake. Si sahihi. Zaidi ya asili mia 85 ya wanyanyasaji ni wanaume, na ugomvi wa nyumbani hutokea haswa katika mahusiano ya undani, ya kutegemeana na yale ya muda mrefu, yaani, katika familia, mahali tusipotaka au kutarajia kupata ugomvi, ndio sababu tuhuma za kinyumbani ni tatanishi hivi.
I would have told you myself that I was the last person on Earth who would stay with a man who beats me, but in fact I was a very typical victim because of my age. I was 22, and in the United States, women ages 16 to 24 are three times as likely to be domestic violence victims as women of other ages, and over 500 women and girls this age are killed every year by abusive partners, boyfriends, and husbands in the United States.
Ningekuambia kwamba ningekuwa mtu wa mwisho duniani kukaa na mwanaume anayenipiga, lakini kusema kweli nilikuwa mwathirika kwa sababu ya umri wangu. Nilikuwa mwenye umri wa miaka ishirini na mbili na Marekani, wanawake wenye umri kati ya miaka kumi na sita hadi ishirini na nne wana uwezekano wa mara tatu zaidi kuwa waathirika wa ugomvi wa nyumbani ikilinganishwa na wanawake wa umri mwingine, vilevile zaidi ya wanawake mia tano na wasichana wa umri huu huuawa kila mwaka na wapenzi wanyanyasaji, wapenzi, na waume zao Marekani.
I was also a very typical victim because I knew nothing about domestic violence, its warning signs or its patterns.
Nilikuwa muathirika kwa sababu sikujua chochote kuhusu ugomvi wa nyumbani, maonyo yake ama mifano yake.
I met Conor on a cold, rainy January night. He sat next to me on the New York City subway, and he started chatting me up. He told me two things. One was that he, too, had just graduated from an Ivy League school, and that he worked at a very impressive Wall Street bank. But what made the biggest impression on me that first meeting was that he was smart and funny and he looked like a farm boy. He had these big cheeks, these big apple cheeks and this wheat-blond hair, and he seemed so sweet.
Nilikutana na Conor usiku mmoja wenye baridi na mvua, mwezi wa Januari. Alikaa kando yangu kwenye treni katika mji wa New York, na alianza kuniongelesha. Aliniambia mambo mawili. La kwanza kuwa, yeye pia, alikuwa amehitimu kutoka kwa kati ya zile shule bora zaidi Marekani, na kwamba alifanya kazi kwenye benki moja ya kuvutia sana huko Wall Street. Lakini kile kilichonivutia zaidi siku hiyo ni kuwa alikuwa mwerevu na mcheshi na alionekana kuwa kijana wa mashambani. Alikuwa na haya mashavu makubwa, haya mashavu makubwa ya waridi na hii nywele za rangi kama ya ngano, na alionekana kuwa mwema sana.
One of the smartest things Conor did, from the very beginning, was to create the illusion that I was the dominant partner in the relationship. He did this especially at the beginning by idolizing me. We started dating, and he loved everything about me, that I was smart, that I'd gone to Harvard, that I was passionate about helping teenage girls, and my job. He wanted to know everything about my family and my childhood and my hopes and dreams. Conor believed in me, as a writer and a woman, in a way that no one else ever had. And he also created a magical atmosphere of trust between us by confessing his secret, which was that, as a very young boy starting at age four, he had been savagely and repeatedly physically abused by his stepfather, and the abuse had gotten so bad that he had had to drop out of school in eighth grade, even though he was very smart, and he'd spent almost 20 years rebuilding his life. Which is why that Ivy League degree and the Wall Street job and his bright shiny future meant so much to him. If you had told me that this smart, funny, sensitive man who adored me would one day dictate whether or not I wore makeup, how short my skirts were, where I lived, what jobs I took, who my friends were and where I spent Christmas, I would have laughed at you, because there was not a hint of violence or control or anger in Conor at the beginning. I didn't know that the first stage in any domestic violence relationship is to seduce and charm the victim.
Jambo moja la busara Conor alilofanya, kutoka mwanzoni, lilikuwa kufanya kana kwamba nilikuwa mwenye ushawishi mkubwa katika huo uhusiano. Alifanya hivi haswa hapo mwanzo kwa kunihusudu. Tukaanza kutoka pamoja, na alipenda kila kitu kunihusu, ati nilikuwa mwerevu, ati nilisomea chuo cha Harvard, ati nilikuwa mwenye shauku kusaidia wasichana wadogo, na kazi yangu. Alitaka kujua kila kitu kuhusu familia yangu na utoto wangu na matarajio na ndoto zangu. Conor alikuwa na imani nami, kama mwandishi na mwanamke, kwa njia ambayo yeyote mwengine alikuwa hajawahi. Na alileta uaminifu kati yetu kwa kunieleza siri yake, ambayo ilikuwa, alipokuwa mvulana mdogo sana akiwa na umri wa miaka minne alipigwa vibaya sana mara kwa mara na babake wa kambo, na unyanyasaji ulizidi kuwa mbaya zaidi hadi ikambidi aache shule akiwa daraja la nane, ingawa alikuwa mwerevu sana, na kwamba alitumia takriban miaka ishirini kujenga maisha yake upya. Ndiyo sababu hiyo shahada yake kutoka zile shule bora zaidi Marekani, na kazi yake Wall Street na maisha yake mazuri siku za usoni zilikuwa za umuhimu mkubwa sana kwake. Kama ungeniuliza kama huyu mwanamme mwerevu, mcheshi na mwenye kujali aliyenipenda sana angekuja kuniamulia kama ningejipamba au la, ufupi wa sketi zangu, mahali ningeishi, kazi gani ningefanya, marafiki zangu wangekuwa wepi na pale ningekulia Krisimasi ningekucheka, kwa sababu hakukuwa na ushahidi wowote wa tuhuma au uthibiti au hasira kutoka kwa Conor hapo mwanzoni. Sikujua kwamba daraja la kwanza katika uhusiano wowote wenye ugomvi ni kumvuta na kumpumbaza mwathirika
I also didn't know that the second step is to isolate the victim. Now, Conor did not come home one day and announce, "You know, hey, all this Romeo and Juliet stuff has been great, but I need to move into the next phase where I isolate you and I abuse you" — (Laughter) — "so I need to get you out of this apartment where the neighbors can hear you scream and out of this city where you have friends and family and coworkers who can see the bruises." Instead, Conor came home one Friday evening and he told me that he had quit his job that day, his dream job, and he said that he had quit his job because of me, because I had made him feel so safe and loved that he didn't need to prove himself on Wall Street anymore, and he just wanted to get out of the city and away from his abusive, dysfunctional family, and move to a tiny town in New England where he could start his life over with me by his side. Now, the last thing I wanted to do was leave New York, and my dream job, but I thought you made sacrifices for your soulmate, so I agreed, and I quit my job, and Conor and I left Manhattan together. I had no idea I was falling into crazy love, that I was walking headfirst into a carefully laid physical, financial and psychological trap.
Pia sikujua kuwa daraja ya pili ni kumtenga mwathirika. Conor hakuja nyumbani siku moja na kutangaza, "Unajua huu uhusiano wetu kama wa Romeo na Julieti umekuwa mtamu, lakini nataka kwenda katika hatua inayofuata ambapo nitakutenga na kukunyanyasa" - (Kicheko) - "kwa hivyo nataka kukuhamisha kutoka nyumba hii ambapo majirani wanawezakusikia ukipiga mayowe na kukupeleka nje ya mji huu ambapo una marafiki na familia na wafanyakazi wenzako wanaoweza kuona hiyo michubuko." Badala yake, Conor alikuja nyumbani jioni ya Ijumaa moja na akaniambia kuwa alikuwa ameacha kazi siku hiyo, kazi ya ndoto zake, na akasema kwamba alikuwa ameacha kazi hiyo kwa sababu yangu, kwa sababu nilimfanya ahisi usalama na kupendwa ati hakuhitaji tena kujithibitisha huko Wall Street, na alitaka tu kutoka mjini na kukaa mbali na familia yake iliyomnyanyasa. na kuhamia mji mdogo wa New England ambapo angeweza kuanza upya maisha yake nikiwa kando yake. Sikutaka kamwe kuhama kutoka New York, na kuacha kazi ya ndoto zangu, lakini nilifikiria mtu hujitoa muhanga kwa mpenzi wake, kwa hivyo nikakubali na nikaacha kazi yangu, na Conor na mimi tukaondoka Manhattan pamoja. Sikuwai kufikiria kwamba penzi nililokuwa nalo halikuwa la kawaida, na kwamba nilikuwa nikitembea bila habari ndani ya mtego mzuri wa kimwili, kifedha na kiakili
The next step in the domestic violence pattern is to introduce the threat of violence and see how she reacts. And here's where those guns come in. As soon as we moved to New England -- you know, that place where Connor was supposed to feel so safe -- he bought three guns. He kept one in the glove compartment of our car. He kept one under the pillows on our bed, and the third one he kept in his pocket at all times. And he said that he needed those guns because of the trauma he'd experienced as a young boy. He needed them to feel protected. But those guns were really a message for me, and even though he hadn't raised a hand to me, my life was already in grave danger every minute of every day.
Daraja ya pili katika ugomvi wa kimahusiano ni kuleta tishio la vurugu na kuangalia vile linavyomgusa. Na hapa ndipo bunduki zinapoingia. Muda tu tulipohamia New England--unajua, mahali Connor aliposema pangemfanya ajisikie salama-- alinunua bunduki tatu. Aliweka moja garini. Aliweka moja chini ya mto kitandani mwetu, na ya tatu alitembea nayo mfukoni nyakati zote. Na alisema alihitaji bunduki hizo kwa sababu ya uchungu aliopitia akiwa mchanga. Alizihitaji kujisikia salama. Lakini bunduki hizo zilikuwa ujumbe kwangu, na ingawa hakuwai kuninyoshea mkono, maisha yangu tayari yalikuwa hatarini kila dakika ya kila siku.
Conor first physically attacked me five days before our wedding. It was 7 a.m. I still had on my nightgown. I was working on my computer trying to finish a freelance writing assignment, and I got frustrated, and Conor used my anger as an excuse to put both of his hands around my neck and to squeeze so tightly that I could not breathe or scream, and he used the chokehold to hit my head repeatedly against the wall. Five days later, the ten bruises on my neck had just faded, and I put on my mother's wedding dress, and I married him.
Kwanza Conor alinishambulia siku tano kabla ya harusi yetu. Ilikuwa saa moja asubuhi na bado nilikuwa nimevalia vazi la kulala Nilikuwa nafanya kazi kweny kompyuta yangu nikijaribu kumaliza kazi fulani ya uandishi, na nilikuwa nimekasirika, na Conor akatumia hasira zangu kama kisingizio kunikaba koo na kuikaza hadi sikuweza kupumua au kupiga kelele, na alitumia mkazo huo kugonga kichwa changu mara kadhaa kwenye ukuta. Siku tano baadaye, ile michubuko kumi shingoni mwangu ilipotea na nikavaa nguo ya mama yangu ya harusi, na nikafunga ndoa naye.
Despite what had happened, I was sure we were going to live happily ever after, because I loved him, and he loved me so much. And he was very, very sorry. He had just been really stressed out by the wedding and by becoming a family with me. It was an isolated incident, and he was never going to hurt me again.
Licha ya yaliyotokea, nilikuwa na hakika tungeishi maisha ya raha milele, kwa sababu nilimpenda, na alinipenda sana. Na aliniomba msamaha. Alikuwa amechoshwa sana na mipango ya harusi yetu na kwa kuwa kitu kimoja na mimi. Halikuwa jambo la kawaida na asingeniumiza tena.
It happened twice more on the honeymoon. The first time, I was driving to find a secret beach and I got lost, and he punched me in the side of my head so hard that the other side of my head repeatedly hit the driver's side window. And then a few days later, driving home from our honeymoon, he got frustrated by traffic, and he threw a cold Big Mac in my face. Conor proceeded to beat me once or twice a week for the next two and a half years of our marriage.
Ilitokea mara mbili katika fungate. Mara ya kwanza, nilikuwa naendesha gari kutafuta ufukwe wa siri na nikapotea, na akanipiga ngumi nzito kwenye upande wa kichwa changu hata ule upande mwengine wa kichwa changu ukagonga dirisha lililo kando ya dereva mara kadhaa. Alafu tena siku chache baadaye, tukielekea nyumbani baada ya likizo ya harusi, alikasirishwa na trafiki, na akarusha Big Mac baridi usoni mwangu. Conor aliendelea kunipiga mara moja au mbili kwa wiki kwa miaka miwili na nusu ya ndoa yetu.
I was mistaken in thinking that I was unique and alone in this situation. One in three American women experiences domestic violence or stalking at some point in her life, and the CDC reports that 15 million children are abused every year, 15 million. So actually, I was in very good company.
Nilifanya makosa kufikiria nilikuwa wa kipekee na peke yangu katika hali hii. Mmoja kati ya wanawake watatu wakiAmerika hupitia ugomvi wa nyumbani ama kufuatwa fuatwa wakati mmoja maishani mwake, na CDC inaripoti kwamba watoto milioni kumi na tano wananyanyaswa kila mwaka, milioni kumi na tano. Hivyo basi, nilikuwa kwenye ushirika mzuri sana.
Back to my question: Why did I stay? The answer is easy. I didn't know he was abusing me. Even though he held those loaded guns to my head, pushed me down stairs, threatened to kill our dog, pulled the key out of the car ignition as I drove down the highway, poured coffee grinds on my head as I dressed for a job interview, I never once thought of myself as a battered wife. Instead, I was a very strong woman in love with a deeply troubled man, and I was the only person on Earth who could help Conor face his demons.
Kurudia swali langu: Kwa nini nilibaki? Jibu lenyewe ni rahisi. Sikujua alikuwa akininyanyasa. Hata ingawa alielekeza bunduki zilizo na risasi kichwani mwangu, akanisukuma ngazini, akatishia kuua mbwa wetu, akatoa ufunguo wa gari nikiendesha barabarani, akamwaga maganda ya kahawa kichwani mwangu nikijitayarisha kwa mahojiano ya kazi, SIkuwai hata mara moja kujihisi kuwa mke anayenyanyaswa. Badala yake, nilikuwa mwanamke mwenye nguvu alimpenda sana mwanaume aliyekuwa na shida, na nilikuwa mtu wa pekee duniani ambaye angeweza kumsaidia Conor kukabiliana na mashetani yake.
The other question everybody asks is, why doesn't she just leave? Why didn't I walk out? I could have left any time. To me, this is the saddest and most painful question that people ask, because we victims know something you usually don't: It's incredibly dangerous to leave an abuser. Because the final step in the domestic violence pattern is kill her. Over 70 percent of domestic violence murders happen after the victim has ended the relationship, after she's gotten out, because then the abuser has nothing left to lose. Other outcomes include long-term stalking, even after the abuser remarries; denial of financial resources; and manipulation of the family court system to terrify the victim and her children, who are regularly forced by family court judges to spend unsupervised time with the man who beat their mother. And still we ask, why doesn't she just leave?
Swali lingine kila mtu huuliza ni, kwa nini hatoki tu? Kwa nini sikuondoka? Ningeweza kuondoka wakati wowote. Kwangu mimi, hili ndilo swali chungu na la kuhuzunisha zaidi ambalo watu huniuliza, kwa sababu sisi waathiriwa tunajua jambo nyinyi msilojua: Ni jambo la hatari sana kumtoroka mnyanyasaji. Kwa sababu daraja ya mwisho katika tuhuma za kinyumbani ni kumuua. Zaidi ya asilimia sabini ya vifo vinavyosababishwa na tuhuma za kinyumbani hutokea baada ya mwathiriwa kukatiza uhusiano huo, baada ya kutoka, kwa sababu wakati huo mnyanyasaji hana chochote cha kupoteza. Matokeo mengine ni pamoja na kufuatwa fuatwa, hata baada ya mnyanyasaji kuoa tena; unyimaji wa hela; na uingiliaji wa mfumo wa mahakama za kifamilia ili kumtia wasiwasi mwathirika na wanawe, ambao mara kwa mara hushurutishwa na majaji wa mahakama za kifamilia kuwa na wakati usiosimamiwa pamoja na mtu yule aliyemtuhumu mama yao. Na bado twauliza, kwa nini hamtoroki tu?
I was able to leave, because of one final, sadistic beating that broke through my denial. I realized that the man who I loved so much was going to kill me if I let him. So I broke the silence. I told everyone: the police, my neighbors, my friends and family, total strangers, and I'm here today because you all helped me.
Niliweza kuondoka, kwa sababu ya kipigo kibaya cha mwisho kilichofumbua macho yangu. Nilitambua kwamba mtu yule niliyempenda sana angekuja kuniua kama ningeendelea kumuacha hivi hivi tu. Hivyo nikavunja ukimya. Nikawaeleza watu wote: polisi, jirani zangu, marafiki zangu na familia, wageni, na niko hapa leo kwa sababu nyote mlinisaidia.
We tend to stereotype victims as grisly headlines, self-destructive women, damaged goods. The question, "Why does she stay?" is code for some people for, "It's her fault for staying," as if victims intentionally choose to fall in love with men intent upon destroying us.
Tuna tabia ya kuwabagua waathirika kama vichwa vibaya vya habari, wanaojitakia maovu, watu walioharibika. Swali hilo, "Kwa nini haondoki?" kwa wengine ni kama kusema, "Ni makosa yake kuendela kukaa hapo," kana kwamba waathirika huchagua kusudi kupenda wanaume walio na lengo la kutumaliza.
But since publishing "Crazy Love," I have heard hundreds of stories from men and women who also got out, who learned an invaluable life lesson from what happened, and who rebuilt lives -- joyous, happy lives -- as employees, wives and mothers, lives completely free of violence, like me. Because it turns out that I'm actually a very typical domestic violence victim and a typical domestic violence survivor. I remarried a kind and gentle man, and we have those three kids. I have that black lab, and I have that minivan. What I will never have again, ever, is a loaded gun held to my head by someone who says that he loves me.
Lakini tangu niandike kitabu "Crazy Love," nimesikia mamia ya hadithi kutoka kwa wanaume na wanawake ambao pia waliondoka, waliojifunza somo muhimu la maisha kutokana na yale yaliyotokea, na waliojenga maisha yao tena--maisha yenye furaha kama wafanyakazi, wake na kina mama, maisha yasiyo na unyanyasaji, kama yangu. Kwa sababu inaonekana kwamba mimi nilikuwa mwathirika halisi wa unyanyasaji majumbani. na msalimika wa unyanyasaji wa majumbani. Niliolewa na mtu mwema na mpole, na pamoja tuna watoto watatu. Nina yule mbwa wangu mweusi, na nina lile gari ndogo. Kile sitawahi kuwa nacho tena, milele, ni bunduki iliyojaa risasi iliyoelekezwa kichwani mwangu na mtu anayesema eti ananipenda.
Right now, maybe you're thinking, "Wow, this is fascinating," or, "Wow, how stupid was she," but this whole time, I've actually been talking about you. I promise you there are several people listening to me right now who are currently being abused or who were abused as children or who are abusers themselves. Abuse could be affecting your daughter, your sister, your best friend right now.
Wakati huu, labda unafikiria, "Hili ni jambo la kushangaza," ama, "Kwa nini alikuwa mjinga hivi," lakini muda huu wote, nimekuwa haswa nikiongea juu yako. Nakuhakikishia kuna watu kadhaa wanaonisikiliza saa hii ambao wananyanyaswa au ambao walinyanyaswa wakiwa watoto au walio wanyanyasaji wenyewe. unyanyasaji unaweza kuwa unamwathiri binti yako, dadako, rafiki yako wa karibu wakati huu.
I was able to end my own crazy love story by breaking the silence. I'm still breaking the silence today. It's my way of helping other victims, and it's my final request of you. Talk about what you heard here. Abuse thrives only in silence. You have the power to end domestic violence simply by shining a spotlight on it. We victims need everyone. We need every one of you to understand the secrets of domestic violence. Show abuse the light of day by talking about it with your children, your coworkers, your friends and family. Recast survivors as wonderful, lovable people with full futures. Recognize the early signs of violence and conscientiously intervene, deescalate it, show victims a safe way out. Together we can make our beds, our dinner tables and our families the safe and peaceful oases they should be.
Niliweza kumaliza hadithi yangu wazimu ya mapenzi kwa kuvunja ukimya. Bado naendelea kuvunja ukimya leo. Ni njia yangu ya kusaidia waathirika wengine, na ni ombi langu la mwisho kwenu. Ongeeni kuhusu mliyosikia hapa. Unyanyasaji hushamiri tu katika ukimya. Una nguvu ya kumaliza unyanyasaji majumbani kwa kuongea kuhusu unyanyasaji. Sisi waathirika tunahitaji kila mtu. Tunawahitaji nyote kuelewa siri za unyanyasaji majumbani. Mulikieni mwanga unyanyasaji kwa kuuongelea mkiwa na watoto wenu, wafanyakazi wenzenu, marafiki zenu na familia. Ongeleeni waliosalimika kama watu wema na wanaopendeka walio na maisha kamili kwenye siku za usoni Eleweni ishara za mapema za tuhuma na muingilie kati kistadi malizeni na muonyeshe waathirika njia safi ya kuiepuka. Pamoja tunaweza kufanya vitanda vyetu, meza zetu za mlo na familia zetu mahali pa amani zinavyopaswa kuwa
Thank you.
Asanteni.
(Applause)
(Mahali)