Having spent 18 years as a child of the state in children's homes and foster care, you could say that I'm an expert on the subject, and in being an expert, I want to let you know that being an expert does in no way make you right in light of the truth.
我受國家監護18年 住在育幼院和寄養家庭 所以我可以說是這個主題的專家 就因為我是專家,我想告訴各位 專家不見得是對的 這一點我們有證據顯示
If you're in care, legally the government is your parent, loco parentis. Margaret Thatcher was my mother. (Laughter) Let's not talk about breastfeeding. (Laughter)
如果你受監護,政府就是爸媽 也就是法定監護人 所以柴契爾夫人就是我老媽(笑聲) 不要問我她有沒有餵我母奶(笑聲)
Harry Potter was a foster child. Pip from "Great Expectations" was adopted; Superman was a foster child; Cinderella was a foster child; Lisbeth Salander, the girl with the dragon tattoo, was fostered and institutionalized; Batman was orphaned; Lyra Belacqua from Philip Pullman's "Northern Lights" was fostered; Jane Eyre, adopted; Roald Dahl's James from "James and the Giant Peach;" Matilda; Moses -- Moses! (Laughter) Moses! (Laughter) -- the boys in Michael Morpurgo's "Friend or Foe;" Alem in Benjamin Zephaniah's "Refugee Boy;" Luke Skywalker -- Luke Skywalker! (Laughter) -- Oliver Twist; Cassia in "The Concubine of Shanghai" by Hong Ying; Celie in Alice Walker's "The Color Purple." All of these great fictional characters, all of them who were hurt by their condition, all of them who spawned thousands of other books and other films, all of them were fostered, adopted or orphaned. It seems that writers know that the child outside of family reflects on what family truly is more than what it promotes itself to be. That is, they also use extraordinary skills to deal with extraordinary situations on a daily basis.
哈利波特是寄養兒童 《遠大前程》的皮普是養子 超人是寄養兒童 灰姑娘是寄養兒童 龍紋身的女孩莎蘭德 住過寄養家庭和精神病院 蝙蝠俠是無依兒童 普曼寫的《黃金羅盤》中 萊拉被寄養 簡愛被領養 羅德.達爾《怪桃歷險記》的主人翁詹姆斯 和另一部故事主角瑪蒂達 還有摩西,沒錯,摩西!(笑聲) 是先知摩西耶!(笑聲) 麥克.莫波格《是敵是友》書中的男生 班傑明.澤凡尼《難民男孩》裡的阿列 天行者路克 《星際大戰》的天行者路克!(笑聲) 《孤雛淚》的奧利佛 虹影《上海王》的筱月桂 愛麗絲.華克《紫色姐妹花》的世蘭 以上所有的偉大小說人物,每一位 都受生長環境所傷害 他們為上千本書和電影 帶來靈感與啟發 他們都被寄養、收養,或是成為無依兒童 作家似乎了解,沒有家庭溫暖的小孩 最能反映家庭的本質 比家庭自我投射的形象更真實 這些小孩用過人的能力 天天與逆境纏鬥
How have we not made the connection? And why have we not made the connection, between — How has that happened? — between these incredible characters of popular culture and religions, and the fostered, adopted or orphaned child in our midst? It's not our pity that they need. It's our respect. I know famous musicians, I know actors and film stars and millionaires and novelists and top lawyers and television executives and magazine editors and national journalists and dustbinmen and hairdressers, all who were looked after children, fostered, adopted or orphaned, and many of them grow into their adult lives in fear of speaking of their background, as if it may somehow weaken their standing in the foreground, as if it were somehow Kryptonite, as if it were a time bomb strapped on the inside. Children in care, who've had a life in care, deserve the right to own and live the memory of their own childhood. It is that simple.
我們怎麼還看不清其中的關聯呢? 我們為什麼還看不清 怎麼會這樣? 這些流行文化與宗教中的非凡人物 跟寄養兒童、養子女或無依兒童的關聯? 他們需要的不是我們的同情 而是尊重 我認識一些知名音樂家 演員、電影明星、富豪、小說家 一流律師、電視執行製作 雜誌編輯、大報記者 清潔工、髮型設計師 他們小時候不是住過寄養家庭 就是被領養,或是無依兒童 很多人長大以後 不願談起自己的過往 因為擔心對自己的未來有不良影響 過往就像是超人剋星克利普頓石 像是身上綁的定時炸彈 受國家安置的兒童有權利 擁有屬於自己的童年和記憶 就是這麼簡單
My own mother — and I should say this here — she same to this country in the late '60s, and she was, you know, she found herself pregnant, as women did in the late '60s. You know what I mean? They found themselves pregnant. And she sort of, she had no idea of the context in which she'd landed.
我的媽媽──這裡我要跟各位說── 她在60年代末期被送到英國 當時她發現自己懷孕了 就像其他 60 年代末期的女性,你們知道我的意思嗎? 她們發現自己懷孕了 我媽媽應該說是不知道 自己究竟會有什麼下場
In the 1960s -- I should give you some context -- in the 1960s, if you were pregnant and you were single, you were seen as a threat to the community. You were separated from your family by the state. You were separated from your family and placed into mother and baby homes. You were appointed a social worker. The adoptive parents were lined up. It was the primary purpose of the social worker, the aim, to get the woman at her most vulnerable time in her entire life, to sign the adoption papers. So the adoption papers were signed. The mother and baby's homes were often run by nuns. The adoption papers were signed, the child was given to the adoptive parents, and the mother shipped back to her community to say that she'd been on a little break. A little break. A little break. The first secret of shame for a woman for being a woman, "a little break." The adoption process took, like, a matter of months, so it was a closed shop, you know, sealed deal, an industrious, utilitarian solution: the government, the farmer, the adopting parents, the consumer, the mother, the earth, and the child, the crop.
在 60 年代──我這邊給大家一點背景資訊── 在當時,如果你沒結婚而且又懷孕了 大家會把你當作是這個社會的威脅 國家會把你跟家人拆散 你必須跟家人分開,然後被安置到 母子之家 國家會派給你一個社工 養父母也開始排隊要領養你的孩子 社工的主要工作 就是在母親一生最脆弱的時候 要她們簽文件放棄自己的孩子 所以母親只好簽署文件 母子之家通常是修女負責管理 領養文件簽了以後 小孩就歸養父母,小孩的媽媽 則被送回去原來住的地方 還要告訴別人她之前去休息了一陣子 休息一陣子 休息一陣子 身為女人,第一個恥辱的秘密 就是「休息一陣子」 領養流程大概要花幾個月 但整個過程已定 是個沒血沒淚、唯利是圖的解決方案 政府就像是農民 養父母是消費者 母親是土地,孩子則是農作物
It's kind of easy to patronize the past, to forego our responsibilities in the present. What happened then is a direct reflection of what is happening now. Everybody believed themselves to be doing the right thing by God and by the state for the big society, fast-tracking adoption.
偏袒過去 逃避現有的責任很容易 鑑古知今 當時大家都認為 自己所作所為對得起上帝、對得起國家 是為了整個社會好,所以要快速處理領養
So anyway, she comes here, 1967, she's pregnant, and she comes from Ethiopia that was celebrating its own jubilee at the time under the Emperor Haile Selassie, and she lands months before the Enoch Powell speech, the "Rivers of Blood" speech. She lands months before the Beatles release "The White Album," months before Martin Luther King was killed. It was a summer of love if you were white. If you were black, it was a summer of hate. So she goes from Oxford, she's sent to the north of England to a mother and baby home, and appointed a social worker. It's her plan. You know, I have to say this in the Houses -- It's her plan to have me fostered for a short period of time while she studies. But the social worker, he had a different agenda. He found the foster parents, and he said to them, "Treat this as an adoption. He's yours forever. His name is Norman." (Laughter) Norman! (Laughter) Norman!
我媽媽在 1967 年來到英國,懷有身孕 她從衣索比亞來,當時衣索比亞 正在慶祝 海爾.塞拉西一世皇帝登基 50 周年 她到英國幾個月後,議員鮑威爾 發表「血流成河」反移民演說 她到英國幾個月後,披頭四發行《白色專輯》 她到英國幾個月後,金恩博士遭到暗殺 假如你是白人的話,當時可說是充滿愛的夏天 如果你是黑人,那個夏天則充滿仇恨 我媽媽從牛津被送到英格蘭北部 送到母子之家,有個社工負責她的案件 媽媽的計劃,我要在這裡說── 她的計畫是送我去寄養一陣子 直到她完成學業,可是社工 有不同的想法 社工找到了寄養父母,而且告訴他們說 「就當作領養了這個孩子,他永遠都是你們的。」 「他叫做諾曼。」(笑聲) 諾曼! 諾曼!(笑聲)
So they took me. I was a message, they said. I was a sign from God, they said. I was Norman Mark Greenwood. Now, for the next 11 years, all I know is that this woman, this birth woman, should have her eyes scratched out for not signing the adoption papers. She was an evil woman too selfish to sign, so I spent those 11 years kneeling and praying. I tried praying. I swear I tried praying. "God, can I have a bike for Christmas?" But I would always answer myself, "Yes, of course you can." (Laughter) And then I was supposed to determine whether that was the voice of God or it was the voice of the Devil. And it turns out I've got the Devil inside of me. Who knew? (Laughter)
寄養父母就把我帶走,他們說 我是上帝捎來的佳音 我當時叫諾曼.馬克.葛林伍 接下來的11年,我唯一知道的是 生下我的女人應該受懲罰 她不願意簽領養文件,她邪惡又自私 所以不簽文件 那整整11年 我做的就是跪著祈禱 我試著祈禱,我發誓我有這麼做 「上帝,聖誕節可以送我腳踏車嗎?」 然後我會自己回答說:「當然可以。」 (笑聲) 之後我得要能分辨 這是上帝還是魔鬼的聲音 後來我才發現,原來我身體裡住著魔鬼 誰料得到呢?(笑聲)
So anyway, two years sort of passed, and they had a child of their own, and then another two years passed, and they had another child of their own, and then another time passed and they had another child that they called an accident, which I thought was an unusual name. (Laughter) And I was on the cusp of, sort of, adolescence, so I was starting to take biscuits from the tin without asking. I was starting to stay out a little bit late, etc., etc. Now, in their religiosity, in their naivete, my mom and dad, which I believed them to be forever, as they said they were, my mom and dad conceived that I had the Devil inside of me.
回到剛才講的,大概過了兩年 寄養父母有了自己的孩子 再兩年後,他們又有了第二個孩子 接下來他們又有第三個孩子 他們說這個孩子是意外 我想說給小孩起這個名字真奇怪(笑聲) 當時我正進入青少年期 開始沒徵求同意就自己從罐子裡拿餅乾吃 我也開始晚歸,之類的事 寄養父母虔誠又天真 我的爸媽,我以為他們永遠會是我的父母 因為他們說他們就是我爸媽 他們認為我的身體裡住著魔鬼
And what -- I should say this here, because this is how they engineered my leaving. They sat me at a table, my foster mom, and she said to me, "You don't love us, do you?" At 11 years old. They've had three other children. I'm the fourth. The third was an accident.
我在這裡也要說──就是在這個時候 他們計畫要把我送走 他們叫我坐下,養母對我說: 「你不愛我們對不對?」 我當時 11 歲 他們有三個小孩,我是第四個,第三個是意外
And I said, "Yeah, of course I do." Because you do.
我說:「我當然愛你們。」 因為你們也愛我
My foster mother asked me to go away to think about love and what it is and to read the Scriptures and to come back tomorrow and give my most honest and truthful answer. So this was an opportunity. If they were asking me whether I loved them or not, then I mustn't love them, which led me to the miracle of thought that I thought they wanted me to get to. "I will ask God for forgiveness and His light will shine through me to them. How fantastic." This was an opportunity. The theology was perfect, the timing unquestionable, and the answer as honest as a sinner could get.
養母叫我好好想一下什麼是愛 還叫我讀聖經,然後明天回來 跟她說我心中真正的答案 這就是個機會,如果他們問我 是否愛他們,那我不能說愛他們 我還想這就是他們希望我說的 「我會乞求上帝原諒,祂的榮光會透過我 照在他們身上,這多棒啊!」 這真是個大好機會 神學理論完美,時機也抓得真好 而且這個答案對於罪人來說可真夠坦白
"I mustn't love you," I said to them. "But I will ask God for forgiveness."
「我不能愛你們。」 我對他們說:「但是我會乞求上帝原諒。」
"Because you don't love us, Norman, clearly you've chosen your path."
「因為你不愛我們,諾曼 顯然,你已經選了自己要走的路。」
Twenty-four hours later, my social worker, this strange man who used to visit me every couple of months, he's waiting for me in the car as I say goodbye to my parents. I didn't say goodbye to anybody, not my mother, my father, my sisters, my brothers, my aunts, my uncles, my cousins, my grandparents, nobody. On the way to the children's home, I started to ask myself, "What's happened to me?" It's not that I'd had the rug pulled from beneath me as much as the entire floor had been taken away.
24 小時後,我的社工 就是每幾個月就來訪查的陌生人 在車子裡等我跟父母道別 我沒跟任何人說再見,包括我爸媽 我的兄弟姊妹、叔叔阿姨 表兄弟姐妹、祖父母,一個也沒有 去育幼院的路上,我問自己 「我出了什麼事?」 我感覺到的不是有人把我腳下的地毯抽走 而是整個地板都不見了
When I got to the — For the next four, five years, I was held in four different children's homes. On the third children's home, at 15, I started to rebel, and what I did was, I got three tins of paint, Airfix paint that you use for models, and I was -- it was a big children's home, big Victorian children's home -- and I was in a little turret at the top of it, and I poured them, red, yellow and green, the colors of Africa, down the tiles. You couldn't see it from the street, because the home was surrounded by beech trees.
我到了── 接下來的四五年 我住過四家育幼院 住第三間育幼院時,我 15 歲 開始叛逆,當時我做了一件事 就是拿三罐做模型的顏料 ──那家育幼院很大,是維多利亞時代的風格── 我爬上育幼院的塔樓 把顏料往下潑,有紅色、黃色、綠色 非洲的色彩,向下蔓延每一塊地磚 你從外面看不到我幹的好事 因為育幼院周圍都是山毛櫸樹
For doing this, I was incarcerated for a year in an assessment center which was actually a remand center. It was a virtual prison for young people.
可是我因為潑漆被關了1年 關在所謂的評估中心,但其實就是 青少年拘留所,對年輕人來說 那就是監獄
By the way, years later, my social worker said that I should never have been put in there. I wasn't charged for anything. I hadn't done anything wrong. But because I had no family to inquire about me, they could do anything to me.
順帶一提,幾年後,我的社工說 我根本就不應該被關 因為我並沒有遭受任何指控,也沒做錯事 但就因為我沒有家人關心 他們就可以對我為所欲為
I'm 17 years old, and they had a padded cell. They would march me down corridors in last-size order. They -- I was put in a dormitory with a confirmed Nazi sympathizer. All of the staff were ex-police -- interesting -- and ex-probation officers. The man who ran it was an ex-army officer. Every time I had a visit by a person who I did not know who would feed me grapes, once every three months, I was strip-searched. That home was full of young boys who were on remand for things like murder. And this was the preparation that I was being given after 17 years as a child of the state.
我17歲時 育幼院有個防止囚犯自殺的牢房 他們叫我走到走廊盡頭 把我分到一間宿舍 室友是個納粹支持者 員工都當過警察 ── 真有意思── 或是當過假釋官 管理的人則曾經是軍官 每次有個我不認識的人來看我 這個人還給我吃葡萄,大概每 3 個月一次 我就要被脫衣搜身 那個育幼院有很多候審還押的少年 他們犯的是謀殺之類的罪 這就是國家替我未來做的準備 雖然我受國家監護有17年之久
I have to tell this story. I have to tell it, because there was no one to put two and two together.
我必須要把這故事說出來 我一定要說,因為沒有人 會幫我把前因後果說清楚
I slowly became aware that I knew nobody that knew me for longer than a year. See, that's what family does. It gives you reference points. I'm not defining a good family from a bad family. I'm just saying that you know when your birthday is by virtue of the fact that somebody tells you when your birthday is, a mother, a father, a sister, a brother, an aunt, an uncle, a cousin, a grandparent. It matters to someone, and therefore it matters to you. Understand, I was 14 years old, tucked away in myself, into myself, and I wasn't touched either, physically touched.
我漸漸發現,沒有一個人 認識我超過一年 看到了嗎?家庭的作用就在此 家庭讓你有參照點 我不是在說好家庭跟壞家庭的差別 我是說你知道你生日是哪一天 因為家裡有人會告訴你 可能是媽媽、爸爸、姊姊、哥哥、阿姨、叔叔 表哥、祖父母 因為有人在乎你的生日 所以你也會在乎,你知道嗎 我 14 歲時,把自己往內心深藏 也沒有人理我,或是抱抱我
I'm reporting back. I'm reporting back simply to say that when I left the children's home I had two things that I wanted to do. One was to find my family, and the other was to write poetry. In creativity I saw light. In the imagination I saw the endless possibility of life, the endless truth, the permanent creation of reality, the place where anger was an expression in the search for love, a place where dysfunction is a true reaction to untruth.
我現在是跟各位報告過去的事情,這麼做只是要說 我離開育幼院時,有兩件想做的事情 一個是找到我的家人 另一件事則是寫詩 透過創作,我見到了光明 在想像的世界中,我看到了人生無限可能 看到了無止盡的真理,看到了永恆的真實 在想像的世界中,憤怒是一種表達 是追尋愛的方式,反常則是 對於虛假的真實反應
I've just got to say it to you all: I found all of my family in my adult life. I spent all of my adult life finding them, and I've now got a fully dysfunctional family just like everybody else.
我想告訴各位:我找到了所有的家人 我長大以後花了很多時間找他們 我現在有個烏煙瘴氣的家庭,就跟大家一樣
But I'm reporting back to you to say quite simply that you can define how strong a democracy is by how its government treats its child. I don't mean children. I mean the child of the state. Thanks very much. It's been an honor. (Applause) (Applause)
我之所以和各位報告,是因為我想說 一個民主政體有多堅實 端視政府如何對待它的孩子 我不是說所有兒童,而是受國家監護的孩子 謝謝,很榮幸能來這裡演講(掌聲) (掌聲)