[This talk contains mature content]
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In 1969, I was standing behind a Sylvania black-and-white television set. Hearing about these things happening on the set in the front, I was the guy, you know, moving the rabbit ears for my dad, and my sister and my mom. "Move over here, turn over here, move this way, we can't see the screen." And what they were watching was: "One small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind." Neil [Armstrong] and Buzz Aldrin were walking on the Moon. And I was five years old in Lynchburg, Virginia, a skinny black kid in a kind of somewhat racist town. And I was trying to figure out what I was going to do with my life. And my parents, you know, they were educators, they'd said that you can do anything. But after that moon landing, all the kids in the neighborhood were like, "You're going to be an astronaut?" I'm like, "No." I don't want a buzz cut, and I don't see someone who looks like me. Because representation does matter.
Godine 1969. sam stajao iza crno-belog televizora marke Silvejnija. Slušao sam ono što se dešava na televizoru ispred mene, jer bio sam dečko koji pomera antene po nalogu tate, sestre i mame. „Pomeri ovamo, okreni tamo, pomeri ovako, ne vidimo ekran.“ A oni su gledali: „Mali korak za čoveka, ali veliki za čovečanstvo.“ Nil Armstrong i Baz Oldrin su hodali po mesecu. Imao sam pet godina i živeo u Linčburgu, u Virdžiniji, kao mršav crni klinac u pomalo rasističkom gradu. Pokušavao sam da smislim šta ću da radim sa svojim životom. A moji roditelji, znate, su bili predavači, i govorili su da možete sve. Nakon tog sletanja na Mesec, sva deca u komšiluku su bila u fazonu: „Postaćeš astronaut?“ A ja bih odgovorio: „Ne.“ Ne želim vojničku frizuru, i ne vidim nekog ko izgleda kao ja. Jer izgled jeste važan.
And I knew that there was a guy five blocks down the street on Pierce Street who was training to play tennis. And it was Arthur Ashe. And my dad talked about his character, his discipline, his intelligence, his athleticism. I wanted to be Arthur Ashe, I didn't want to be one of those moon guys.
Znao sam za tipa pet blokova niz ulicu, u ulici Pirs, koji je trenirao tenis. To je bio Artur Eš. Moj tata je pričao o njegovoj ličnosti, disciplini, inteligenciji, atletizmu. Želeo sam da budem Artur Eš. Nisam želeo da budem kao oni tipovi sa Meseca.
And as I went on through this journey, my dad, who was a school teacher, he played in a band, he did all these things to make money for my sister and I to take piano lessons and do these different things with education. And he one day decides to drive up into the driveway with this bread truck. And I'm thinking, "OK, bread truck, me delivering bread while my dad's driving the truck." I'm like, "OK, I'm going to be a bread guy now." But he says, "This is our camper." I'm like, "Dude, come one, I can read: 'Merita Bread and Rolls' on the side of this truck. And he says, "No, we're going to build this into our camper." And over that summer, we rewired the entire electrical system. We plumbed a propane tank to a Coleman stove, we built bunk beds that flip down. We were turning this into our summer vacation launch pad, escape pod, this thing that could take us out of Lynchburg.
Kroz dalji tok ovog putovanja, moj tata, koji je bio nastavnik i svirao je u bendu, radio je sve te stvari da zaradi kako bismo moja sestra i ja išli na časove klavira i radili razne obrazovne stvari. Jednog dana je odlučio da se doveze pred kuću u pekarskom kamionu. Pomislio sam: „Okej, pekarski kamion, dostavljaću hleb, a tata će da vozi.“ Pomislio sam: „Okej, biću pekar.“ Ali on mi kaže: „Ovo je naš kamper.“ Pomislio sam: „Ma daj, čoveče, piše 'Merita hleb i peciva' sa strane kamiona.“ A on mi kaže: „Ne, napravićemo od ovoga naš kamper.“ Tokom tog leta, prespojili smo čitav električni sistem. Spojili smo rezervoar propana sa šporetom marke Kolman, napravili smo krevete na sprat koji se obaraju. Pretvarali smo ga u lansirnu rampu, kapsulu za beg, koja nas može odvesti iz Linčburga.
And before that, I was actually raped at five by some neighbors. And I didn't tell anyone, because I had friends that didn't have fathers. And I knew that my father would have killed the people that did that to his son. And I didn't want my father to be gone.
A pre toga, kada sam imao pet godina, silovale su me neke komšije. Nisam rekao nikome, jer sam imao drugare koji nisu imali očeve. A znao sam da bi moj otac ubio ljude koji su to uradili njegovom sinu. I nisam želeo da moj otac ode.
So as we got in this bread truck and escaped from Lynchburg, it was my time with my dad. And we went to the Smoky Mountains and looked at the purple mountains' majesty. And we walked along the beach in Myrtle Beach, and this thing was transformative. It showed me what it meant to be an explorer, at a very early age. And I suppressed all that negativity, all that trauma, because I was learning to be an explorer.
Kada smo tim pekarskim kamionom pobegli iz Linčburga, mogao sam da provedem vreme sa tatom. Otišli smo na planine Grejt Smouki i gledali ljubičastu veličanstvenost planina. Šetali smo duž plaže u Mertl Biču, i to je bio preobražaj. Vrlo rano mi je pokazalo šta znači biti istraživač. Potisnuo sam svu tu negativnost, svu traumu, jer sam učio da budem istraživač.
And a little bit later, my mother gave me an age-inappropriate, non-OSHA-certified chemistry set,
Malo kasnije, majka mi je poklonila, za moje godine neprikladan, nesertifikovan pribor za hemiju.
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
where I created the most incredible explosion in her living room.
sa kojim sam napravio neverovatnu eksploziju u njenoj dnevnoj sobi.
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
And so I knew I could be a chemist. So as I went on this journey through a high school, and I went to college, and I got a football scholarship to play football in college. And I knew that I could be a chemist, because I'd already blown stuff up.
Znao sam da bih mogao biti hemičar. Nastavio sam ovo putovanje kroz srednju školu, otišao na fakultet i dobio fudbalsku stipendiju. Znao sam da bih mogao biti hemičar, jer sam već dizao stvari u vazduh.
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
And when I graduated, I got drafted to the Detroit Lions. But I pulled a hamstring in training camp, and so what every former NFL player does, they go work for NASA, right? So I went to work for NASA.
Kada sam diplomirao, primili su me u Detroit lajonse. Ali, istegao sam tetivu u kampu, a šta radi svaki bivši igrač NFL-a, počne da radi za NASU, je l' da? Pa sam to i uradio.
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
And this friend of mine said, "Leland, you'd be great astronaut." I just laughed at him, I was like, "Yeah, me, an astronaut?" You know that Neil and Buzz thing from back in '69? And he handed me an application, and I looked at it, and I didn't fill it out. And that same year, another friend of mine filled out the application and he got in. And I said to myself, "If NASA's letting knuckleheads like that be astronauts,"
Jedan prijatelj mi je rekao: „Lilande, bio bi sjajan astronaut.“ Samo sam se nasmejao, u fazonu: „Ma daj, ja astronaut? Kao u onoj priči o Nilu i Bazu iz '69?“ Dao mi je prijavu, a ja sam je pogledao, ali je nisam popunio. Iste godine, drugi moj prijatelj je popunio prijavu i upao je. Rekao sam sebi: „Ako NASA prima ovakve tupane za astronaute,“
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
"maybe I can be one, too."
„možda prime i mene.“
So the next selection, I filled out the application, and I got in. And I didn't know what it meant to be an astronaut: the training, the simulations, all these things to get you ready for this countdown: three, two, one, liftoff. And in 2007, I was in Space Shuttle "Atlantis," careening off the planet, traveling at 17,500 miles per hour. And eight and a half minutes later, the main engines cut off, and we're now floating in space. And I push off and float over to the window, and I can see the Caribbean. And I need new definitions of blue to describe the colors that I see. Azure, indigo, navy blue, medium navy blue, turquoise don't do any justice to what I see with my eyes.
U sledećoj turi sam ispunio prijavu i upao. Nisam znao šta znači biti astronaut: trening, simulacije, sve te stvari koje vas spremaju za odbrojavanje: tri, dva, jedan, poletanje. Godine 2007. bio sam u spejs-šatlu „Atlantida“ koji se otisnuo od zemlje, putujući brzinom od 28 000 km/h. Osam i po minuta kasnije, glavni motori se gase i mi plutamo u svemiru. Odgurnem se, odlebdim do prozora, i mogu da vidim Karibe. Treba mi nova definicija za plavu da opišem boje koje vidim. Reči azurnoplava, indigo, tamnoplava, srednje tamnoplava, tirkizna uopšte ne opisuju ono što vidim.
And my job on this mission was to install this two-billion dollar Columbus laboratory. It was a research laboratory for materials research, for human research. And I reached into the payload bay of the space shuttle, grabbed out this big module, and I used the robotic arm and I attached it to the space station. And the European team have been waiting 10 years for this thing to get installed, so I'm sure everyone in Europe was like, "Leland! Leland! Leland!"
Moj posao na misiji je bio da instaliram laboratoriju Kolumbo, istraživačku laboratoriju koja je bila vredna dve milijarde dolara za istraživanje materijala i za ljudska istraživanja. Posegnuo sam u teretnu zonu spejs-šatla, zgrabio jedan veliki modul, i, koristeći robotsku ruku, spojio ga za svemirsku stanicu. Tim u Evropi je čekao 10 godina da se ova stvar instalira, pa su sigurno svi u Evropi uzvikivali: „Liland! Liland! Liland!“
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
And so this moment happened, this was our primary mission objective, it was done. And I had this big sigh of relief. But then, Peggy Whitson, the first female commander, she invited us over to the Russian segment. And the space station's about the size of a football field, with solar panel and trusses and all of these modules. And she says, "Leland, you go get the rehydrated vegetables, we have the meat." So we float over with the bag of vegetables, all rehydrated, and we get there.
I tako se desio taj trenutak, primarni cilj naše misije, bio je obavljen. Uzdahnuo sam sa olakšanjem. Ali, onda nas je Pegi Vitson, prva žena zapovednik, pozvala u ruski sektor. Svemirska stanica je otprilike veličine fudbalskog terena, sa solarnim panelima, podupiračima i raznim modulima. Ona mi kaže: „Lilande, ti idi po rehidrirano povrće, mi imamo meso.“ Tako lebdimo sa vrećom rehidriranog povrća i stižemo tamo.
And there's this moment where I get [transported] back to my mother's kitchen. You can smell the beef and barley heating up, you can smell the food, the colors, and there are people there from all around the world. It's like a Benetton commercial, you know, you have African American, Asian American, French, German, Russian, the first female commander, breaking bread at 17,500 miles per hour, going around the planet every 90 minutes, seeing a sunrise and a sunset every 45. And Peggy would say, "Hey, Leland, try some of this," and she'd float it over to my mouth, and I'd catch it and we'd go back and forth. And we're doing all of this while listening to Sade's "Smooth Operator."
U tom momentu ja se transportujem u majčinu kuhinju. Možete da namirišete govedinu i ječam kako se zagreva, možete da namirišete hranu, boje, tu su i ljudi sa svih strana sveta. Kao u reklami za Beneton, znate, imate Afroamerikanca, azijskog Amerikanca, Francuza, Nemca, Rusa, prvu ženu zapovednika, koji zajedno jedu pri brzini od 28 000 km/h., kružeći oko planete svakih 90 minuta, i gledajući izlazak i zalazak sunca svakih 45. A Pegi kaže: „Hej Lilande, probaj ovo,“ i dobaci mi u usta, a ja uhvatim, i tako par puta. Sve ovo radimo slušajući „Smooth operator“ od Šade.
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
I mean, this is like blowing my mind, you know.
Mislim, to me oduševljava, znate.
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
And I float over to the window, and I look down at the planet, and I see all of humanity. And my perspective changes at that moment, because, I'm flying over Lynchburg, Virginia, my home town, and my family's probably breaking bread. And five minutes later, we're flying over Paris, where Leo Eyharts is looking down at his parents, probably having some wine and cheese, and Yuri's looking off to Moscow, and they're probably eating borscht or something else. But we're all having this moment where we see our respective families working together as one civilization, at 17,500 miles per hour.
Odlebdim do prozora, pogledam planetu, i vidim čitavo čovečanstvo. U tom trenutku mi se promeni perspektiva, jer letimo iznad Linčburga u Virdžiniji, mog rodnog grada, i moja porodica verovatno zajedno jede. Pet minuta kasnije, letimo iznad Pariza, gde Leo Ajharts gleda dole ka svojim roditeljima koji verovatno jedu sir i piju vino, a Jurij gleda Moskvu, dok njegovi verovatno jedu boršč ili tako nešto. Ali svi u tom trenutku vidimo naše različite porodice kako funkcionišu kao jedna civilizacija, na 28 000 km/h.
My perspective shifted cognitively, it changed me. And when I think about being that little skinny boy, from sometimes racist Lynchburg, Virginia, I would never have had that perspective to think about myself of being an astronaut, if my father hadn't taken us on a journey in this radical craft that we built with our own two hands.
Moja perspektiva se kognitivno pomerila, promenila me je. Kada razmišljam o sebi kao malom mršavom dečaku iz ponekad rasističkog Linčburga u Virdžiniji, nikad ne bih imao tu perspektivu o sebi kao o astronautu, da nas otac nije poveo na putovanje u tom radikalnom izumu koji smo sami izgradili.
When I came home, I realized that perspective is something that we all get and we all have. It's just how far do we open up our blinders to see that shift and that change. And going back to the space station, I think of, you know, Germans and Russians fighting Americans. We have these people living and working together. White folks, black folks, Russian folks, French folks, you know. All these different people coexisting in harmony as one race. And I think about the colors that I saw, the design of the modules, the way that things fit together, the way that it made us a community, our home.
Kada sam se vratio kući, shvatio sam da je perspektiva nešto što svi imamo. Pitanje je koliko smo spremni da otvorimo vidike da tu promenu i vidimo. Da se vratim na svemirsku stanicu, razmišljam o Nemcima i Rusima koji se bore protiv Amerikanaca. Ovi ljudi žive i rade zajedno. Belci, crnci, Rusi, Francuzi. Svi ti različiti ljudi koegzistiraju u harmoniji kao jedna rasa. I razmišljam o bojama koje sam video, o dizajnu modula, kako se stvari uklapaju, kako nas je ovo pretvorilo u zajednicu, naš dom.
And so when I look up to space now, and I have this newfound perspective on the space station going overhead and looking there, and then looking back at my community and seeing the people that I'm living and working with, and coexisting with, I think it's something that we all can do now, especially in these times, to make sure that we have the right perspective.
Sada kad pogledam u svemir, sa ovom novom perspektivom svemirske stanice koja gleda odozgo, a zatim pogledam svoju zajednicu i vidim ljude sa kojima živim, radim i koegzistiram, mislim da je to nešto što svi možemo, pogotovo u ovim vremenima, da se pobrinemo da imamo pravu perspektivu.
Thank you.
Hvala vam.
(Applause)
(Aplauz)
Chee Pearlman: If you don't mind, could I just chat with you for a minute, because they're going to set up some things here. And I get to have you all to myself, OK.
Či Perlman: Ako ti ne smeta, malo bih proćaskala s tobom, dok oni ovde nešto postavljaju. I bićeš samo moj, okej?
Leland Melvin: Alright.
Liland Melvin: Dobro.
CP: You guys don't get to hear this. So I have to tell you that in my family, we watch a lot of space movies about astronauts and stuff like that. I can't tell you why, but we do.
ČP: Pravite se da ne čujete. Moram da ti kažem da se u mojoj porodici gleda puno svemirskih filmova o astronautima i sličnim stvarima. Ne mogu vam reći zašto, ali tako je.
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
The thing that I wanted to ask you, though, is that we were seeing this movie the other day, and it was about one of the astronauts, one of your colleagues, and before he went up into space, they actually wrote an obituary, NASA wrote an obituary for him. And I was like, is that normal? And is that part of the job? Do you think about that peril that you're putting yourself in as you go into space?
U stvari, htela sam da te pitam, gledali smo neki film pre neki dan, bio je o jednom astronautu, tvom kolegi, i pre nego što je otišao u svemir, napisali su mu umrlicu, NASA mu je napisala umrlicu. Pitala sam se da li je to normalno. Da li je to deo posla? Da li razmišljate o opasnosti kojoj se izlažete kada idete u svemir?
LM: Yeah. So, I don't remember anyone writing my obituary, maybe that was an Apollo-day thing. But I do know that in the 135 shuttle flights that we've had, the shuttle that I flew on, we had two accidents that killed everyone on that mission. And we all know the perils and the risks that go along with this, but we're doing something that's much bigger than ourselves, and helping advance civilization, so the risk is worth the reward. And we all feel that way when we get into that vehicle ans strap into those million pounds of rocket fuel and go up to space.
LM: Da. Ne sećam se da je iko pisao moju umrlicu, možda je to bilo nešto vezano za Apolo. Ali znam da je od 135 letova koje smo imali, letelica kojom sam ja putovao, doživela dve nesreće u kojima su poginuli svi na misiji. Svi znamo koje opasnosti i rizici idu uz ovo, ali radimo nešto veće od nas samih, pomažemo napretku civilizaciji, tako da se isplati. Svi se osećamo tako kada uđemo u to vozilo sa pola miliona litara raketnog goriva i poletimo u svemir.
CP: Yeah, I've only seen the Hollywood version -- it looks pretty terrifying, I have to tell you.
ČP: Da, ja sam videla samo holivudsku verziju - moram da ti kažem, izgleda prilično strašno.
LM: You should go.
LM: Trebalo bi da odeš.
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
CP: Yeah, my husband's told me that a few times.
ČP: Da, muž mi je to rekao par puta.
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
LM: One-way trip or two-way?
LM: Jednosmerno ili dvosmerno putovanje?
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
CP: That’s a bit of a debate in our house.
ČP: To je pomalo diskutabilno u našoj kući.
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
I wanted to, if I may ... You did touch on something that was very powerful and difficult, which is, you spoke about this incident that had happened to you when you were five years old, and that you were raped. And I just think that for you to be able to say those things, you know, on the TED stage, to be able to talk about that at all, is pretty fearless. And I wanted to get a sense from you, is that something that you think is important for you to share that now, to speak about it?
Htela sam, ako smem... Dotakao si se nečega jako snažnog i teškog, kada si govorio o tom slučaju koji ti se dogodio kada si imao pet godina, kada si silovan. Mislim da je tvoja sposobnost da to ispričaš, znaš, na pozornici TED-a, da uopšte govoriš o tome, prilično neustrašiva. Htela sam da steknem uvid, da li misliš da je važno da to sada podeliš, da o tome govoriš?
LM: It's so important, especially for men, to talk about things that have happened, because we've been trained and told by our society that we have to be so tough and so hard and we can't tell of things that are happening to us. But I've had so many men contact me and tell me that, "You came through that, you got over that, I'm going to get over my alcoholism," and these things that are going on in them, because of what happened to them. And so we must share these stories, this is part of storytelling, to heal us and to make us whole as a community.
LM: Jako je važno, pogotovo muškarcima, da govore o stvarima koje su se dogodile jer su nas istrenirali i jer nam društvo kaže da moramo biti tako otporni i snažni i da ne treba da pričamo o onome što nam se događa. Ali, toliko je muškaraca kontaktiralo sa mnom i reklo mi: „Ti si prošao kroz to, prevazišao si to, i ja ću prevazići svoj alkoholizam,“ i te stvari koje se događaju u njima, zbog onogo što im se desilo. Moramo deliti ove priče, to je deo pripovedanja, kako bi nas izlečile i ujedinile kao zajednicu.
CP: That's wonderful.
ČP: To je sjajno.
(Applause)
(Aplauz)
And you know, quite honestly, you spoke about perspective shift, and that is a shift that I think we've been very slow to accept and to be able to speak about that, so we thank you for that. We thank you for being the amazing astronaut that you are, and thank you for coming to the TED stage, Leland.
I znaš, iskreno, govorio si o promeni perspektive, a to je, čini mi se, promena koju jako sporo prihvatamo i o njoj govorimo, pa ti zato zahvaljujemo. Zahvaljujemo ti što si tako sjajan astronaut, i što si došao na pozornicu TED-a.
LM: Thank you so much, Chee.
LM: Hvala ti mnogo, Či.
(Applause)
(Aplauz)