If you look at a carpenter, they have a toolbox; a dentist, they have their drills. In our era and the type of work most of us are doing, the tool we most need is actually centered around being able to give and receive feedback well.
若你看到一位木匠, 他會隨身帶著工具箱; 牙醫則會是帶著牙鑽。 在這個時代以及多數人的工作當中, 其實我們最需要的工具, 在於如何給予和接受回饋意見。
[The Way We Work]
[我們的行事方法]
Humans have been talking about feedback for centuries. In fact, Confucius, way back in 500 BC, talked about how important it is to be able to say difficult messages well.
人類已花了好幾世紀 探討有關回饋這個話題。 事實上,孔子早在西元前五百年 就已經闡述過有效表達 棘手訊息的重要性了。
But to be honest, we're still pretty bad at it. In fact, a recent Gallup survey found that only 26 percent of employees strongly agree that the feedback they get actually improves their work. Those numbers are pretty dismal.
但老實說, 這方面我們還是做得很差。 事實上,根據最近的 一個蓋洛普調查顯示 僅有 26% 的員工非常贊同 他們所得到的回饋 對於改善工作表現有助益。 這些數據令人沮喪。
So what's going on? The way that most people give their feedback actually isn't brain-friendly. People fall into one of two camps. Either they're of the camp that is very indirect and soft and the brain doesn't even recognize that feedback is being given or it's just simply confused, or they fall into the other camp of being too direct, and with that, it tips the other person into the land of being defensive.
所以問題出在哪呢? 大多數人給人回饋意見的方式, 其實不利於大腦的接受。 人可歸為兩類。 一類是他們非常迂迴及溫和, 以至於大腦根本無法察覺已收到回饋 或者只是感覺困惑; 另一種人則是太過直接, 這會讓接收回饋的人進入防禦狀態。
There's this part of the brain called the amygdala, and it's scanning at all times to figure out whether the message has a social threat attached to it. With that, we'll move forward to defensiveness, we'll move backwards in retreat, and what happens is the feedback giver then starts to disregulate as well. They add more ums and ahs and justifications, and the whole thing gets wonky really fast.
大腦有一個部分為杏仁核, 它無時無刻都在掃描判斷 所接收到的訊息是否具社交威脅。 如果有,我們會築起防禦之心, 我們會往後退縮, 這時給予回饋的人也會開始不知所措。 他們說話更吞吞吐吐且用更多的藉口, 使得情況急轉直下。
It doesn't have to be this way. I and my team have spent many years going into different companies and asking who here is a great feedback giver. Anybody who's named again and again, we actually bring into our labs to see what they're doing differently. And what we find is that there's a four-part formula that you can use to say any difficult message well.
其實大可不必如此 。 我和我的團隊花了許多年到不同公司 詢問他們當中誰是出色的回饋者。 那些一直獲得推薦的人, 我們會帶回實驗室 看看他們的做法究竟有何不同。 我們找出了四種方法, 可運用在傳達任何棘手的訊息上。
OK, are you ready for it? Here we go. The first part of the formula is what we call the micro-yes. Great feedback givers begin their feedback by asking a question that is short but important. It lets the brain know that feedback is actually coming. It would be something, for example, like, "Do you have five minutes to talk about how that last conversation went" or "I have some ideas for how we can improve things. Can I share them with you?" This micro-yes question does two things for you. First of all, it's going to be a pacing tool. It lets the other person know that feedback is about to be given. And the second thing it does is it creates a moment of buy-in. I can say yes or no to that yes or no question. And with that, I get a feeling of autonomy.
你準備好了嗎? 開始囉。 第一個方法就是 我們所稱的「微同意」。 擅長給予回饋的人會以詢問一個簡短 但重要的問題來破題。 這讓大腦知道自己 即將要接收到回饋的訊息。 舉例來說,問題有可能是: 「你有五分鐘的時間 可以聊聊上次會談的事嗎?」 或「讓事情更趨完善,我有一些想法 我能跟你分享嗎?」 這個微同意的提問 會幫你完成兩件事。 第一,它會是個調整節奏的工具。 它會讓另一個人知道 自己即將接收到回饋。 第二,它創造了接受的時機。 我可以接受或拒絕對方的提問。 因此,我覺得有了自主權。
The second part of the feedback formula is going to be giving your data point. Here, you should name specifically what you saw or heard, and cut out any words that aren't objective. There's a concept we call blur words. A blur word is something that can mean different things to different people. Blur words are not specific. So for example, if I say "You shouldn't be so defensive" or "You could be more proactive." What we see great feedback givers doing differently is they'll convert their blur words into actual data points. So for example, instead of saying, "You aren't reliable," we would say, "You said you'd get that email to me by 11, and I still don't have it yet." Specificity is also important when it comes to positive feedback, and the reason for that is that we want to be able to specify exactly what we want the other person to increase or diminish. And if we stick with blur words, they actually won't have any clue particularly what to do going forward to keep repeating that behavior.
第二個提供回饋的方法 是給你數據點。 你要明確地指出你看到或聽到的事, 並且排除任何不客觀的用字。 有一種概念,我們稱作模糊字眼。 模糊字眼意即 每個人會有不同解釋的字詞。 模糊字眼並不明確。 所以,假設我說: 「你不該防衛心這麼強」, 或「你該更積極一些」, 出色的回饋者作法則不同, 他們會將模糊字眼轉換為數據點。 舉個例子,我們不會說: 「你不可靠。」 而會說:「你答應 在 11 點前會傳郵件給我, 但我現在還沒收到。」 訊息明確對於提供 正面回饋也很重要。 理由是我們希望能明確點出 我們希望對方增加或減少什麼。 如果我們使用模糊字眼, 他們其實完全不知道 接下來該如何做才能符合需求。
The third part of the feedback formula is the impact statement. Here, you name exactly how that data point impacted you. So, for example, I might say, "Because I didn't get the message, I was blocked on my work and couldn't move forward" or "I really liked how you added those stories, because it helped me grasp the concepts faster." It gives you a sense of purpose and meaning and logic between the points, which is something the brain really craves.
提供回饋的第三部分 就是陳述所造成的影響。 你具體陳述那個數據點如何影響你。 例如,我可能會說: 「因為我沒收到訊息, 所以我遇到了瓶頸, 使得工作無法順利進行。」 或者「我真的很欣賞 你補充的那些故事, 讓我更快理解其中的概念。」 這麼做會讓你的陳述具有目標、 意義與邏輯性, 這才是大腦真正渴望獲得的。
The fourth part of the feedback formula is a question. Great feedback givers wrap their feedback message with a question. They'll ask something like, "Well, how do you see it?" Or "This is what I'm thinking we should do, but what are your thoughts on it?" What it does is it creates commitment rather than just compliance. It makes the conversation no longer be a monologue, but rather becomes a joint problem-solving situation.
回饋的第四部份是 提出一個問題。 擅長給回饋的人會用 一個問題包裝回饋訊息。 他們可能會說: 「那你對這件事看法如何?」 或者「我認為我們應該這麼做, 但你有什麼的想法嗎?」 這麼說會鼓勵對方投入而非服從。 會讓對話不再是獨白, 而是創造一個共同解決問題的情境。
But there's one last thing. Great feedback givers not only can say messages well, but also, they ask for feedback regularly. In fact, our research on perceived leadership shows that you shouldn't wait for feedback to be given to you -- what we call push feedback -- but rather, you should actively ask for feedback, what we call pulling feedback. Pulling feedback establishes you as a continual learner and puts the power in your hands. The most challenging situations are actually the ones that call for the most skillful feedback. But it doesn't have to be hard.
但最後還有一點。 出色的回饋者不但知道 如何好好傳達訊息, 他們也會經常尋求回饋。 事實上,我們所做的 領導力認知的研究 顯示你不該等待別人給你回饋── 就是我們所說的推送回饋── 相反的,你應該主動尋求回饋, 就是我們說的提取回饋。 提取回饋會建立起 你喜好持續學習的形象, 讓你有主控權。 最具挑戰性的 是那些需要熟練技巧回饋的情況。 但是要學會並不困難。
Now that you know this four-part formula, you can mix and match it to make it work for any difficult conversation.
在認識了這四個方法後, 你可以任意搭配運用 來應付任何棘手的對話。