Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the Alchemy of Pop. What else in the world can change your mind, can change your mood, can change your entire energetic frequency in 3.5 minutes? For me, that's pop music. And for me, that's alchemy.
I'm Kesha, and I am a pop star.
(Applause)
I'm a singer, I'm a songwriter, I'm an activist, and I'm a surprisingly good scuba diver, amongst many other things. But the thing that drives me the most in this life is to write pop songs. And let me tell you why.
For me, songwriting and scuba diving are actually very similar. When I go diving, I like to go deep. I just jump right in that bitch. And I am a cave diver, so I go in and I see this looming darkness, and I swim right into it, and I look behind every corner, I leave no stone unturned. That's where the exciting shit happens.
When I'm writing a song, I also like to go deep. I like to explore my deepest, darkest thoughts. This is also where the exciting shit happens. This is where I find my truth.
Songwriting is a direct line of communication with the truth. In song you can say things you can't say out loud to anybody else. Not your friends, not your therapist, not your mom. When I'm feeling anything intensely, I know it's time for me to write a song. I don't hide from my emotions. I dive into them. You can write a song and you can not tell the truth, but your song will suck. So if you would like to write a good song, you have to be honest. You have to sit with yourself and let your truth come, whatever it is. This sounds simple, but where it can lead is profound. Songwriting teaches you that all emotions are valid, deserving of curiosity and deserving of a voice.
The song called "Tik Tok," I wrote that when I was 21. Yeah.
(Applause)
It was way before the app. Don't blame me. I was feeling very playful. I was a young nihilist. I didn't have too many problems at the time. That was so fucking nice. And the dumber the lyrics got, the better the song got. And I thought these feelings, they were kind of frivolous. They were just a guilty pleasure. But those exact emotions, that youthful, playful, pure stupidity, made "Tik Tok" connect globally in ways I could have never imagined.
Now, let me take you to a very different point in my life. It was 2017, and I had to make a boundary that affected every corner of my life. I found myself in a very ugly litigation with the same person who I had signed the rights to my recorded voice to. I had lost the rights to my voice, and in that I felt as if I had lost the rights to myself. It was very public. It was very painful. I was very angry. So I did what I do with all my emotions, and I wrote my way through it. And that led me to a song called "Praying."
(Music)
Someday, maybe you'll see the light Oh, some say, in life, you're gonna get what you give
But some things only God can forgive
I hope you're somewhere prayin', prayin'
I hope your soul is changin', changin'
I hope you find your peace
Falling on your knees prayin'
(Music ends)
(Applause)
Thank you, thank you. So after "Tik Tok," I wondered if anybody would connect to these uglier emotions coming from me, like, I'm the girl who "brushes her teeth with a bottle of Jack," you know?
(Laughter)
And also, who wants to listen to an angry woman? Turns out a lot of fucking people do.
(Laughter)
(Cheers and applause)
Hehehe
(Laughter)
That was the first time I was nominated for a Grammy; it's the first time I performed at the Grammys. And I've heard from many people going through their own struggles that this song helped them in some way. I dove deep into the pain. I didn't hide from it. I alchemized it into something healing not only for me but, inadvertently, for other people.
I'm now -- probably going to cry -- I'm now in a drastically different point in my life.
(Cheers and applause)
On March 6, 2024, I've gained back legal rights over my own voice.
(Applause and cheers)
And with it, a newly found freedom for the first time in nearly 20 years. It's funny how you can lose the rights to your own voice, but you can never lose the rights to your truth.
Throughout this journey, songwriting has been my therapist, my best friend, my lover, my drinking buddy, and my higher power. It's where I can be truly honest. And I don't claim to be an expert on much, but I've experienced over and over and over how you can create art out of emotion and through that process, not only heal yourself but help to heal others.
And I believe there's an artist in every single one of us. Creation is just exploring. It's becoming childlike. It's not judging yourself. So I encourage all of you to not be afraid of the intensity inside of you. The stupidity, the rage, the anger, the darkness. All of it. Dive into it. Explore it.
And I want to remind you that whether or not you are free, you are entitled to your truth. Find your medium, whatever speaks to you, and let your truth come. You never know who else will need to hear it. You never know who else can heal from it. Please don't take this for granted.
I'd like to share a song I wrote recently. No one has heard this. This is the first time I have shared a new song since I have owned my voice as an adult woman.
(Applause and cheers)
So this song is called "Cathedral."
(Piano music)
(Applause and cheers)
Baby, I've been baptized
Been bathing in the moonlight
I surrender, so take your time
I'm summoning my divine
Tried it all to numb the pain
But nobody ever stayed
It could be too much to even take
Look what you find when there's nothing left to lose
I kept on running, just gasping for breath
Nothing to trust in 'cause nothing was left
I pray when I'm desperate
I'm down on my knees
Oh, my God, I'm the cathedral
Finally coming home
Life was so lethal
I'm the savior, I'm the altar, I'm the Holy Ghost
Pain was my ritual, fear my religion
I was the one who needed forgiving, oh
I'm the cathedral
Let it in, sunlight
It feels good, that's alright
Touch my skin, love my pain away
And, God, forgive all my mistakes
Maybe redemption lies in the dark
My happy ending's through my broken heart
Hope is a madman that hides in my mind
Oh, my God I'm the cathedral
Finally coming home
Life was so lethal
I'm the savior, I'm the altar, I'm the Holy Ghost
Pain was my ritual, fear my religion
I was the one who needed forgiving, oh
I'm the cathedral
Who I once was, she seems so far
I've had to sacrifice her from the start
I'm born again with every scar
I can't control what's written in the stars
Been on my knees, begging for God
She's there inside of me, she was just lost
Oh, my mind, look what it caused
Darkness leads into light all along
I'm the cathedral
Finally coming home
Oh, God, it feels good
I'm the savior, I'm the altar, I'm the Holy Ghost
Every minute is a new beginning
I died in hell, and I'm finally living again
In the cathedral
I'm the cathedral
(Music ends)
(Applause and cheers)
Thank you so much.
