I'm here today to talk to you about a very powerful little word, one that people will do almost anything to avoid becoming. Billion-dollar industries thrive because of the fear of it, and those of us who undeniably are it are left to navigate a relentless storm surrounding it.
今天我在這裡和大家 討論一個短小卻有力的詞, 人們會盡其所能, 來避免它的發生。 幾十億美金的產業興旺, 因為對它的恐懼; 但身處其中的人們, 它正在我們周圍, 不斷引發著風暴。
I'm not sure if any of you have noticed, but I'm fat. Not the lowercase, muttered-behind-my-back kind, or the seemingly harmless chubby or cuddly. I'm not even the more sophisticated voluptuous or curvaceous kind.
不知道你們注意到了沒有, 我是個胖子。 不是那種「只是有點胖,」 也不是所謂的豐滿或可愛, 更不是什麽凹凸有致的豐腴胖子。
Let's not sugarcoat it. I am the capital F-A-T kind of fat. I am the elephant in the room. When I walked out on stage, some of you may have been thinking, "Aww, this is going to be hilarious, because everybody knows that fat people are funny."
讓我們不要美化它了, 我就是一個大寫的胖子, 我就是房間裡顯而易見的大象。 當我走上舞臺的時候, 有些人就會開始想, 「哦,這一定會非常搞笑, 因為所有人都覺得胖子很搞笑。」
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
Or you may have been thinking, "Where does she get her confidence from?" Because a confident fat woman is almost unthinkable. The fashion-conscious members of the audience may have been thinking how fabulous I look in this Beth Ditto dress --
或者你又會想,「她哪來的勇氣?」 因為我們幾乎無法想像 一個自信的胖女人。 而時尚感強的觀眾會想 我穿這件貝絲·迪托 (Beth Ditto) 的裙子 有多麼好看。
(Cheers)
(歡呼)
thank you very much. Whereas some of you might have thought, "Hmm, black would have been so much more slimming."
謝謝大家。 有些人可能會覺得, 「穿黑色能顯瘦。」
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
You may have wondered, consciously or not, if I have diabetes, or a partner, or if I eat carbs after 7pm.
你們可能也好奇, 我是不是有糖尿病,有沒有伴侶, 有沒有在晚上 7 點後 攝入碳水化合物。
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
You may have worried that you ate carbs after 7pm last night, and that you really should renew your gym membership.
你可能擔心你昨晚 7 點後 攝入的碳水化合物, 你真的需要續健身房的會費。
These judgments are insidious. They can be directed at individuals and groups, and they can also be directed at ourselves. And this way of thinking is known as fatphobia.
這些想法會在不知不覺中加劇, 它們會影響到個人和小集體, 它們也會直接影響到我們自身。 這種想法,被稱為「肥胖恐懼症。」
Like any form of systematic oppression, fatphobia is deeply rooted in complex structures like capitalism, patriarchy and racism, and that can make it really difficult to see, let alone challenge. We live in a culture where being fat is seen as being a bad person -- lazy, greedy, unhealthy, irresponsible and morally suspect. And we tend to see thinness as being universally good -- responsible, successful, and in control of our appetites, bodies and lives. We see these ideas again and again in the media, in public health policy, doctors' offices, in everyday conversations and in our own attitudes. We may even blame fat people themselves for the discrimination they face because, after all, if we don't like it, we should just lose weight. Easy. This antifat bias has become so integral, so ingrained to how we value ourselves and each other that we rarely question why we have such contempt for people of size and where that disdain comes from.
正如任何一種形式的體制壓迫, 對肥胖的恐懼已經通過 各種形式漸漸深入人心, 就像資本主義、男權社會 和種族偏見一樣。 我們甚至不太了解它們, 就更別說去改變了。 在我們所處的文化中, 胖子被視為不好的人, 他們懶惰、貪吃、 不健康、還缺少責任感, 在道德方面常常被懷疑。 而當我們在看瘦子的時候, 他們簡直各方面都是完美的, 他們有責任心、成功、 還能夠控制食欲、身體、 以及自己的生活。 我們一次次的接收這種信息, 它存在於媒體上、 存在公共衛生政策中、 在醫生的辦公室裡、 在日常的聊天中 以及我們自身的態度中。 我們甚至會責備那些胖子, 對他們的樣子表示歧視。 畢竟,如果不喜歡自己的樣子, 只要減肥就好了。 很簡單啊。 這種「反胖」的偏見 在我們看待自己和他人的時候, 已經根深蒂固了。 我們卻從來不知道為什麼 我們對人的體型會有如此的藐視, 這種藐視又是從哪來的。
But we must question it, because the enormous value we place on how we look affects every one of us. And do we really want to live in a society where people are denied their basic humanity if they don't subscribe to some arbitrary form of acceptable?
然而,我們必須向其提出質疑, 因為我們對自身的樣貌極其的重視, 這種價值觀影響著每個人。 我們真的想要活在這種社會下嗎? 僅因為不符合社會認可的形式, 就要被否定他的基本人性?
So when I was six years old, my sister used to teach ballet to a bunch of little girls in our garage. I was about a foot taller and a foot wider than most of the group. When it came to doing our first performance, I was so excited about wearing a pretty pink tutu. I was going to sparkle. As the other girls slipped easily into their Lycra and tulle creations, not one of the tutus was big enough to fit me. I was determined not to be excluded from the performance, so I turned to my mother and loud enough for everyone to hear said, "Mom, I don't need a tutu. I need a fourfour."
在我六歲的時候, 我的姐姐在我家的車庫 教一群小女孩跳芭蕾, 我幾乎比那裡所有的 小女孩都大一號。 在進行第一次表演的時候, 我因為要穿粉紅色的 芭蕾舞裙 (tutu) 而特別激動, 我覺得我今天一定會很耀眼。 但是當其他女孩都輕鬆的 穿上緊身衣和芭蕾舞裙的時候, 卻沒有一件我能穿的下的演出服。 我不想因此就退出演出, 所以我轉過身面對我的媽媽, 用所有人都能聽見的聲音跟她說: 「媽媽,我不需要 tutu, (音同 two two 即二二) 我要 fourfour(四四) !」
(Laughter)
(笑)
Thanks, Mom.
感謝我的媽媽。
(Applause)
(掌聲)
And although I didn't recognize it at the time, claiming space for myself in that glorious fourfour was the first step towards becoming a radical fat activist.
儘管我那個時候還沒有意識到, 這件超棒的演出服 讓我自己感受到了認可, 它讓我跨出了第一步, 成為徹底的肥胖活躍分子。
Now, I'm not saying that this whole body-love thing has been an easy skip along a glittering path of self-acceptance since that day in class. Far from it. I soon learned that living outside what the mainstream considers normal can be a frustrating and isolating place. I've spent the last 20 years unpacking and deprogramming these messages, and it's been quite the roller coaster. I've been openly laughed at, abused from passing cars and been told that I'm delusional. I also receive smiles from strangers who recognize what it takes to walk down the street with a spring in your step and your head held high.
我不是說愛身體這件事情 自芭蕾班開始就是一個 簡單的自我接受的過程。 還差得遠。 很快我就意識到, 生活在主流認知之外, 是一件令人沮喪和感到孤立的事情。 我在過去的二十年 一直在嘗試剖析 並且試圖擺脫這種心態的影響。 這種經歷就像坐雲霄飛車一樣, 我曾被公開嘲笑, 曾被駛過身邊的車謾罵, 也曾被說是癡心妄想, 也曾收到過陌生人的微笑, 當他們發現,我在過街的時候, 步伐輕快並且昂周挺胸。
(Cheer)
(歡呼)
Thanks. And through it all, that fierce little six-year-old has stayed with me, and she has helped me stand before you today as an unapologetic fat person, a person that simply refuses to subscribe to the dominant narrative about how I should move through the world in this body of mine.
謝謝。 經歷過這一切之後, 那個狂熱的六歲的我一直都在。 也是那時的我, 使我今天能夠站在這裡, 成為一個自信的胖子, 成為一個不願同意 社會普遍的說法, 認為胖限制了自身價值的胖子。
(Applause)
(掌聲)
And I'm not alone. I am part of an international community of people who choose to, rather than passively accepting that our bodies are and probably always will be big, we actively choose to flourish in these bodies as they are today. People who honor our strength and work with, not against, our perceived limitations, people who value health as something much more holistic than a number on an outdated BMI chart. Instead, we value mental health, self-worth and how we feel in our bodies as vital aspects to our overall well-being. People who refuse to believe that living in these fat bodies is a barrier to anything, really.
我並不是孤身奮鬥, 我是一個國際組織中的一員, 組織中的人都不是被動地接受 只能一直這麽胖下去的現實, 而是主動地選擇, 帶著這樣的身軀幸福的生活。 這些人能看到自身的 優點並加以利用, 而不是去對抗自身的局限性, 這些人能夠 更加全面的看待健康, 而不只是盯著過時的 BMI 表。 相反的,我們更注重 精神健康及自我價值, 也重視自己對身體的認知 如何影響整體的幸福感。 我們不相信,肥胖的身軀, 會是做任何事情的阻礙。
There are doctors, academics and bloggers who have written countless volumes on the many facets of this complex subject. There are fatshionistas who reclaim their bodies and their beauty by wearing fatkinis and crop tops, exposing the flesh that we're all taught to hide. There are fat athletes who run marathons, teach yoga or do kickboxing, all done with a middle finger firmly held up to the status quo. And these people have taught me that radical body politics is the antidote to our body-shaming culture.
有許多醫生,學者和博主 在這個問題的各各方面, 寫了不計其數的文章。 有胖胖的潮人,穿著比基尼, 秀出自己的身材和美麗, 露出那些被要求要藏起來的贅肉。 還有胖胖的運動員, 他們跑馬拉松、教瑜伽、打拳擊, 他們所做的每件事, 都狠狠地搧了現實一耳光。 是他們教會了我, 這種對待身體的態度, 能夠消除自己對身體產生的羞恥感。
But to be clear, I'm not saying that people shouldn't change their bodies if that's what they want to do. Reclaiming yourself can be one of the most gorgeous acts of self-love and can look like a million different things, from hairstyles to tattoos to body contouring to hormones to surgery and yes, even weight loss. It's simple: it's your body, and you decide what's best to do with it.
但我不是說人們 不應該改變自己的體型, 只要他們想都可以這麽做。 改造自己是表現自愛的最佳方式, 你可以從各方面改造, 從髮型到紋身再到美體, 去打激素、去做手術、甚至去減肥, 這很簡單,因為這是你的身體。 所以應該由你來決定 怎樣對它才是最好的。
My way of engaging in activism is by doing all the things that we fatties aren't supposed to do, and there's a lot of them, inviting other people to join me and then making art about it. The common thread through most of this work has been reclaiming spaces that are often prohibitive to bigger bodies, from the catwalk to club shows, from public swimming pools to prominent dance stages. And reclaiming spaces en masse is not only a powerful artistic statement but a radical community-building approach. This was so true of "AQUAPORKO!" --
我作為活動積極分子的方式, 就是去做一些看起來 我們胖子不應該做的事, 有很多這樣的事情。 邀請一些人來加入我的活動, 然後把它做成藝術。 貫穿這些作品的線索, 就是奪回那些胖子 通常無法進入的領域。 從走伸展臺、到夜店演出、 從公共游泳池、到著名的舞臺, 而一起奪回屬於自己的領域, 不僅僅是一種有力的藝術主張, 同時也是一種徹底構建群體的方式。 這一點在紀錄片“AQUAPORKO!” 上體現的淋漓盡致。
(Laughter)
(笑)
the fat fem synchronized swim team I started with a group of friends in Sydney. The impact of seeing a bunch of defiant fat women in flowery swimming caps and bathers throwing their legs in the air without a care should not be underestimated.
她們是由胖子組成的 女子水上芭蕾舞團, 我在雪梨跟一群朋友開始這個團隊, 見到這麼一群大膽的肥女人 帶著花哨的泳帽, 自由向空中踢腿, 我認為她們帶來的影響不能被低估。
(Laughter)
(笑)
Throughout my career, I have learned that fat bodies are inherently political, and unapologetic fat bodies can blow people's minds. When director Kate Champion, of acclaimed dance theater company Force Majeure, asked me to be the artistic associate on a work featuring all fat dancers, I literally jumped at the opportunity. And I mean literally. "Nothing to Lose" is a work made in collaboration with performers of size who drew from their lived experiences to create a work as varied and authentic as we all are. And it was as far from ballet as you could imagine.
在我追求事業的過程中, 我漸漸發現「胖」 本質上來說就像政治。 作為一個理直氣壯的胖子, 會對人們的思維產生衝擊。 當廣受贊譽的 Force Majeure 舞團管理者 Kate Champion 找到我的時候, 她詢問我是否想一起做藝術工作, 讓「胖」作為舞者的特色, 我毫不猶豫的就加入了, 幾乎沒有思考。 《一無所有 》是與 一群大尺寸藝術家合作的作品, 他們從自身生活中汲取經驗, 創作真實而又多樣的作品。 這和大眾想像中的芭蕾相去甚遠。
The very idea of a fat dance work by such a prestigious company was, to put it mildly, controversial, because nothing like it had ever been done on mainstream dance stages before anywhere in the world.
胖人舞蹈這個想法最初 由這個有聲望的公司提出來的時候, 是飽受爭議的。 因為在全世界都從未有人 在主流的舞臺上, 做過類似的事情。
People were skeptical. "What do you mean, 'fat dancers?' Like, size 10, size 12 kind of fat? Where did they do their dance training? Are they going to have the stamina for a full-length production?"
人們對此持懷疑態度。 「妳說什麽?胖子跳舞麼? 是那種 10 碼、12 碼的胖麼, 他們在哪學習舞蹈? 他們有耐力能堅持下來 一套完整的舞蹈麼?」
But despite the skepticism, "Nothing to Lose" became a sellout hit of Sydney Festival. We received rave reviews, toured, won awards and were written about in over 27 languages. These incredible images of our cast were seen worldwide. I've lost count of how many times people of all sizes have told me that the show has changed their lives, how it helped them shift their relationship to their own and other people's bodies, and how it made them confront their own bias.
僅管有這些懷疑者, 《一無所有 》還是成為 雪梨藝術節上賣座的演出, 我們引發了熱烈的討論,進行巡演, 不斷獲獎,還被 27 種語言報導過, 這些演員的圖片 在世界各地隨處可見。 不記得曾經有多少人和我說過, 這個表演改變了他們的生活, 幫助他們轉變了 對待自己和他人的身體的態度, 使他們改變了自身的偏見。
But of course, work that pushes people's buttons is not without its detractors. I have been told that I'm glorifying obesity. I have received violent death threats and abuse for daring to make work that centers fat people's bodies and lives and treats us as worthwhile human beings with valuable stories to tell. I've even been called "the ISIS of the obesity epidemic" --
當然,這個作品既然觸動了人心, 就也一定會有批評者。 我曾被告知我是在美化肥胖, 我也收到過暴力的死亡威脅, 以及因為勇於去擺正 胖子的地位而收到的謾罵, 而我只不過是想讓人們意識到, 胖子也是有價值的一群人。 我曾經還被稱為, 是讓肥胖流行的 ISIS(恐怖主義)。
(Laughter)
(笑)
a comment so absurd that it is funny. But it also speaks to the panic, the literal terror, that the fear of fat can evoke. It is this fear that's feeding the diet industry, which is keeping so many of us from making peace with our own bodies, for waiting to be the after-photo before we truly start to live our lives. Because the real elephant in the room here is fatphobia. Fat activism refuses to indulge this fear. By advocating for self-determination and respect for all of us, we can shift society's reluctance to embrace diversity and start to celebrate the myriad ways there are to have a body.
這個評論荒唐又可笑, 但這也恰恰說明了, 對肥胖的害怕, 能夠引發多大的恐慌。 正是這種恐懼 促進了減肥產業的發展, 它讓我們不再遵循自身的節奏, 我們不再去主動開始自己的生活, 而是不斷等待「減肥後」的自己。 真正讓我們生活變糟的 是肥胖恐懼症。 積極主義的胖子 就是能夠不陷入這種恐懼, 而是去宣揚自我自主 和對所有人的尊重。 我們可以改變社會 不願接受人的多樣化這件事, 然後開始去頌讚不同的身材。
Thank you.
謝謝大家。
(Applause)
(掌聲)