This is the Natural History Museum in Rotterdam, where I work as a curator. It's my job to make sure the collection stays okay, and that it grows, and basically it means I collect dead animals. Back in 1995, we got a new wing next to the museum. It was made of glass, and this building really helped me to do my job good. The building was a true bird-killer. You may know that birds don't understand the concept of glass. They don't see it, so they fly into the windows and get killed. The only thing I had to do was go out, pick them up, and have them stuffed for the collection. (Laughter) And in those days, I developed an ear to identify birds just by the sound of the bangs they made against the glass.
這是在鹿特丹(荷蘭)的自然歷史博物館 我在這裡擔任館長 我的職責是確保館藏的狀況維持良好 同時要讓數量成長 也就是說,我蒐集死掉的動物 回到1995年 我們博物館的旁邊多了一個新的別館 它是由玻璃建構而成 這棟建築對我的工作有很大的幫助 這棟建築是一個鳥類殺手 你們應該知道鳥對於玻璃 是沒有甚麼概念的,他們看不到它 所以他們飛行時撞到玻璃後就死了 我所要做的,只是走出去 然後把它們撿起來, 再把填充物加進去, 就變成我的收藏品了 (笑聲) 在那些日子, 我開始能夠從我的耳朵分辨是甚麼鳥類 從它們撞上玻璃所發出的聲音就可以知道了
And it was on June 5, 1995, that I heard a loud bang against the glass that changed my life and ended that of a duck. And this is what I saw when I looked out of the window. This is the dead duck. It flew against the window. It's laying dead on its belly. But next to the dead duck is a live duck, and please pay attention. Both are of the male sex. And then this happened. The live duck mounted the dead duck, and started to copulate.
那是在1995年6月5日 玻璃傳來了一聲巨響 這改變了我的一生 同時也終結了一隻鴨子的生命 這是當時我從窗外看出去時的景象 這是一隻死鴨子,牠在飛行的時候撞上了玻璃 牠腹部朝下的死在地上 但在死鴨子旁邊的是一隻活著的鴨子 請注意 這兩隻都是雄性 然後發生了一件事 活鴨子爬到死鴨子的身上 並開始交媾
Well, I'm a biologist. I'm an ornithologist. I said, "Something's wrong here." One is dead, one is alive. That must be necrophilia. I look. Both are of the male sex. Homosexual necrophilia.
我是一個生物學家,我也是一個鳥類學家 我說 " 這其中一定有甚麼問題 " 一隻已死去,一隻還活著。 這一定就是姦屍了 我看了一看,兩隻都是公的 同性戀姦屍
So I -- (Laughter)
所以我 -- (笑聲)
I took my camera, I took my notebook, took a chair, and started to observe this behavior. After 75 minutes — (Laughter) — I had seen enough, and I got hungry, and I wanted to go home. So I went out, collected the duck, and before I put it in the freezer, I checked if the victim was indeed of the male sex. And here's a rare picture of a duck's penis, so it was indeed of the male sex. It's a rare picture because there are 10,000 species of birds and only 300 possess a penis.
我拿起我的相機,我拿起我的筆記型電腦 拿了張椅子,然後開始觀察這個現象 75分鐘後 (笑聲) 我覺得我看夠了,肚子同時也餓了 然後我就有點想回家 所以我走了出去,把鴨子拿起來 在我把牠放到冰箱之前 我確認了這個受害者確實是隻公的鴨子 這是一張很稀有的鴨子陰莖的照片 所以牠真的是隻公鴨子 這照片很少見是因為世界上有10,000種的鳥類 但只有三百種擁有陰莖
[The first case of homosexual necrophilia in the mallard Anas platyrhynchos (Aves:Anatidae)]
[ 鴨屬綠頭鴨 Anas platyrhynchos(學名) 同性戀姦屍的首例 ]
I knew I'd seen something special, but it took me six years to decide to publish it. (Laughter) I mean, it's a nice topic for a birthday party or at the coffee machine, but to share this among your peers is something different. I didn't have the framework. So after six years, my friends and colleagues urged me to publish, so I published "The first case of homosexual necrophilia in the mallard." And here's the situation again. A is my office, B is the place where the duck hit the glass, and C is from where I watched it. And here are the ducks again.
我知道我看到了很特殊的事件 但它花了我六年的時間決定是否要發表它 (笑聲) 我的意思是,這是在生日派對上很好的一個話題 或是在咖啡機旁邊 但是要對你們這樣的知識分子 分享這項發現,是不太一樣的 我的主題沒有一個框架 所以六年後,我的朋友和同事都鼓勵我發表它 所以我就發表了 "鴨屬綠頭鴨 同性戀姦屍的首例 " 這是事發當時的場景 A是我的辦公室 B是鴨子撞到玻璃的地方 C是我觀察的地方 再來看看鴨子們吧
As you probably know, in science, when you write a kind of special paper, only six or seven people read it. (Laughter) But then something good happened. I got a phone call from a person called Marc Abrahams, and he told me, "You've won a prize with your duck paper: the Ig Nobel Prize." And the Ig Nobel Prize — (Laughter) (Applause) — the Ig Nobel Prize honors research that first makes people laugh, and then makes them think, with the ultimate goal to make more people interested in science. That's a good thing, so I accepted the prize. (Laughter)
你可能知道,在科學領域中 當你寫了那種很特殊的論文時 只有六或七個人會去讀它 (笑聲) 但一些好事發生了 一個叫 馬克‧亞伯拉罕 的人打了電話給我 他告訴我 " 你的鴨子論文為你贏得了一座獎 那就是 搞笑諾貝爾獎 " 而搞笑諾貝爾獎 (笑聲+掌聲) 搞笑諾貝爾獎將榮譽頒給 那些帶給人們歡笑的研究, 這些研究會讓人們去思考 此研究的最終目標是讓更多的人 對科學產生興趣 這是一件好事,所以我接受了這座獎項 (笑聲)
I went -- let me remind you that Marc Abrahams didn't call me from Stockholm. He called me from Cambridge, Massachusetts. So I traveled to Boston, to Cambridge, and I went to this wonderful Ig Nobel Prize ceremony held at Harvard University, and this ceremony is a very nice experience. Real Nobel laureates hand you the prize. That's the first thing. And there are nine other winners who get prizes. Here's one of my fellow winners. That's Charles Paxton who won the 2000 biology prize for his paper, "Courtship behavior of ostriches towards humans under farming conditions in Britain." (Laughter) And I think there are one or two more Ig Nobel Prize winners in this room. Dan, where are you? Dan Ariely? Applause for Dan. (Applause) Dan won his prize in medicine for demonstrating that high-priced fake medicine works better than low-priced fake medicine. (Laughter)
我去 ...讓我提醒你們一下,馬克‧亞伯拉罕 不是從瑞典的斯德哥爾摩打給我的 他是從馬薩諸塞州劍橋市打給我的 所以我就前往波士頓,到了劍橋市 然後我參加了美妙的搞笑諾貝爾獎典禮 它在哈佛大學裡面舉辦,而這個典禮 給我一個很好的經驗 你會從真的諾貝爾得獎者手中接過獎盃 這是第一件事 然後,這裡有其他九位也獲獎的人 這是其中一位獲獎的同伴。這是 查爾斯·帕克斯頓 他的論文讓他獲得了2000年的生物學獎 "鴕鳥在英國的耕作條件下 對人類的求偶行為" (笑聲) 我想在這裡有一或兩位以上的 搞笑諾貝爾獎得主在這房間 丹,你在哪裡? 丹·阿雷利? 給丹一點掌聲吧 (掌聲) 丹在醫藥領域得到了他的獎項 因為他展示了,高價位的假藥 比低價位的假藥來的有效 (笑聲)
So here's my one minute of fame, my acceptance speech, and here's the duck. This is its first time on the U.S. West Coast. I'm going to pass it around. (Laughter) Yeah? You can pass it around. Please note it's a museum specimen, but there's no chance you'll get the avian flu.
這是我榮耀的一刻 我的得獎感言 這就是那頭鴨子 這是我第一次在美國西岸 將這個東西讓大家傳閱 (笑聲) 是的 你們可以到處傳閱 請注意他是博物館的樣本 你們不會因為他得到禽流感
After winning this prize, my life changed. In the first place, people started to send me all kinds of duck-related things, and I got a real nice collection. (Laughter) More importantly, people started to send me their observations of remarkable animal behavior, and believe me, if there's an animal misbehaving on this planet, I know about it.
在贏得這座獎項之後,我的人生因此改變 首先,人們開始 將各式各樣有關鴨的東西寄給我 我因此得到一個很不錯的收藏品 (笑聲) 更重要的是 人們開始把他們觀察到的 不尋常的動物行為寄給我 相信我,在這個星球上,如果 有一隻動物有不正常的行為 我一定會知道的
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
This is a moose. It's a moose trying to copulate with a bronze statue of a bison. This is in Montana, 2008. This is a frog that tries to copulate with a goldfish. This is the Netherlands, 2011. These are cane toads in Australia. This is roadkill. Please note that this is necrophilia. It's remarkable: the position. The missionary position is very rare in the animal kingdom. These are pigeons in Rotterdam. Barn swallows in Hong Kong, 2004. This is a turkey in Wisconsin on the premises of the Ethan Allen juvenile correctional institution. It took all day, and the prisoners had a great time.
這是一隻麋鹿 一隻麋鹿試著和 銅製野牛像交媾 這是在蒙大拿州,2008年 這是一個青蛙試著和一隻金魚交媾 這是在荷蘭,2011年 這些是在澳洲的海蟾蜍 橫死街頭 請註明,這也是姦屍案 這很不簡單,看看牠們的姿勢 傳教士體位在動物王國是非常罕見的 這些是在鹿特丹的鴿子 在香港的家燕,2004年 這是在威斯康辛州的火雞 位於伊森‧艾倫少年管束院的校舍 牠們花了一整天的時間 在那裏的犯人過了一段美好的時間
So what does this mean? I mean, the question I ask myself, why does this happen in nature? Well, what I concluded from reviewing all these cases is that it is important that this happens only when death is instant and in a dramatic way and in the right position for copulation. At least, I thought it was till I got these slides. And here you see a dead duck. It's been there for three days, and it's laying on its back. So there goes my theory of necrophilia.
所以,這些代表甚麼意思? 我的意思是,我問我自己 大自然中為什麼會發生這種事 我不斷地複習這些案例 而得到的結論是 這些事情發生的關鍵點 在於死亡發生得很突然 而且是很戲劇化的 同時它們的姿勢要剛好適合交媾 至少,我當初是這麼推論的, 直到我拿到這些幻燈片 你可以看到一隻死掉的鴨子 它在那邊已經三天了 並且是背靠地上的躺著 我的姦屍理論就這樣被推翻了
Another example of the impact of glass buildings on the life of birds. This is Mad Max, a blackbird who lives in Rotterdam. The only thing this bird did was fly against this window from 2004 to 2008, day in and day out. Here he goes, and here's a short video.
另一個衝撞玻璃 導致死亡的鳥類案例 這是瘋狂麥克斯,一個生活在鹿特丹的黑鳥 這些鳥唯一做的事就是往玻璃衝撞 從2004到2008年,日復一日 牠要開始了,這裡是一個短片
(Music) (Clunk) (Clunk) (Clunk) (Clunk)
(音樂) (碰) (碰) (碰) (碰)
So what this bird does is fight his own image. He sees an intruder in his territory, and it's coming all the time and he's there, so there is no end to it. And I thought, in the beginning -- I studied this bird for a couple of years -- that, well, shouldn't the brain of this bird be damaged? It's not. I show you here some slides, some frames from the video, and at the last moment before he hits the glass, he puts his feet in front, and then he bangs against the glass.
這個鳥正在做的 是和牠自己玻璃中的反射打鬥 牠看到的是在牠領土中的入侵者 而且牠不斷地出現也不離開 所以這沒有結束的一天 然後我當初一開始在想.... 我研究這種鳥有幾年的時間 這樣子,鳥的腦子不會因此受傷嗎? 牠不會,我秀給你們看一些幻燈片 這是影片中的鳥撞上玻璃前 那一刻的影格 牠把腳伸到了前方 然後就砰的一聲撞上了玻璃
So I'll conclude to invite you all to Dead Duck Day. That's on June 5 every year. At five minutes to six in the afternoon, we come together at the Natural History Museum in Rotterdam, the duck comes out of the museum, and we try to discuss new ways to prevent birds from colliding with windows. And as you know, or as you may not know, this is one of the major causes of death for birds in the world. In the U.S. alone, a billion birds die in collision with glass buildings. And when it's over, we go to a Chinese restaurant and we have a six-course duck dinner.
所以,最後,我要邀請你們到死鴨日 那是每一年的六月五號 下午六點五分 我們一起來到了鹿特丹的自然歷史博物館 將鴨子從博物館拿出來 我們來討論新的方式 以避免鳥類去衝撞玻璃 如你所知,或者你們可能不知道 這是世界上 鳥類的主要死因 單單在美國,有十億隻鳥類 因為衝撞玻璃建築而死 當事情發生後,我們去中國餐館 來道一鴨六吃的晚餐
So I hope to see you next year in Rotterdam, the Netherlands, for Dead Duck Day. Thank you.
所以我希望 明年在鹿特丹,在荷蘭 能看到你們參與死鴨日 謝謝你們。
(Applause)
(掌聲)
Oh, sorry. May I have my duck back, please?
啊,抱歉 我可以把我的鴨子拿回來嗎?拜託
(Laughter) (Applause)
(笑聲)(掌聲)
Thank you.
謝謝各位