As an actor, I get scripts and it's my job to stay on script, to say my lines and bring to life a character that someone else wrote. Over the course of my career, I've had the great honor playing some of the greatest male role models ever represented on television. You might recognize me as "Male Escort #1."
Kao glumac dobijam tekstove i posao mi je da ih se držim, da izgovorim svoje redove i oživim lik koji je neko drugi napisao. Tokom svoje karijere imao sam veliku čast da igram neke od najvećih muških uloga ikada predstavljenih na televiziji. Možda me prepoznate kao „Mušku pratnju br.1”.
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
"Photographer Date Rapist," "Shirtless Date Rapist" from the award-winning "Spring Break Shark Attack."
„Fotograf silovatelj”, „Silovatelj bez majice” iz nagrađenog „Napada ajkula na prolećnom raspustu”.
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
"Shirtless Medical Student," "Shirtless Steroid-Using Con Man" and, in my most well-known role, as Rafael.
„Student medicine bez majice”, „Prestupnik na steroidima bez majice” i u mojoj najpoznatijoj ulozi kao Rafael.
(Applause)
(Aplauz)
A brooding, reformed playboy who falls for, of all things, a virgin, and who is only occasionally shirtless.
Zamišljeni, reformisani plejboj koji se zaljubljuje ni manje ni više, u devicu, i koji je samo ponekad bez majice.
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
Now, these roles don't represent the kind of man I am in my real life, but that's what I love about acting. I get to live inside characters very different than myself. But every time I got one of these roles, I was surprised, because most of the men I play ooze machismo, charisma and power, and when I look in the mirror, that's just not how I see myself. But it was how Hollywood saw me, and over time, I noticed a parallel between the roles I would play as a man both on-screen and off.
Ove uloge ne predstavljaju tip čoveka koji sam ja zaista, ali to je ono što volim kod glume. Mogu živeti unutar likova vrlo različitih od sebe. Ali svaki put kada bih dobio jednu od ovih uloga, bio bih iznenađen, jer većina muškaraca koje igram zrače muževnošću, harizmom i snagom, a kada se pogledam u ogledalo to jednostavno nije ono kako vidim sebe. Ali jeste ono kako me je Holivud video i vremenom sam uočio paralelu između uloga koje bih igrao kao muškarac na ekranu i van njega.
I've been pretending to be a man that I'm not my entire life. I've been pretending to be strong when I felt weak, confident when I felt insecure and tough when really I was hurting. I think for the most part I've just been kind of putting on a show, but I'm tired of performing. And I can tell you right now that it is exhausting trying to be man enough for everyone all the time. Now -- right?
Pretvarao sam se da sam muškarac kakav nisam celog svog života. Pretvarao sam se da sam jak kada sam se osećao slabim, samouveren kada sam se osećao nesigurnim i jak kada sam zapravo patio. Mislim da sam većim delom glumatao, ali umoran sam od nastupa. I sada vam mogu reći da je iscrpljujuće biti dovoljno muško za sve sve vreme. Sada - zar ne?
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
My brother heard that.
Moj brat je čuo to.
Now, for as long as I can remember, I've been told the kind of man that I should grow up to be. As a boy, all I wanted was to be accepted and liked by the other boys, but that acceptance meant I had to acquire this almost disgusted view of the feminine, and since we were told that feminine is the opposite of masculine, I either had to reject embodying any of these qualities or face rejection myself. This is the script that we've been given. Right? Girls are weak, and boys are strong. This is what's being subconsciously communicated to hundreds of millions of young boys and girls all over the world, just like it was with me.
Od kada pamtim su mi govorili u kakvog muškarca bi trebalo da odrastem. Kao dečak, sve što sam želeo je da me drugi dečaci prihvate i vole, ali je to značilo da moram usvojiti taj skoro odvratni pogled na ženstvenost, a pošto su nam govorili da je ženstveno suprotno od muževnog, ja sam ili morao da odbacim otelovljenje oba ova kvaliteta ili se sam suočim sa odbacivanjem. Ovo je tekst koji nam je dat. Zar ne? Devojčice su slabe, a dečaci su jaki. Ovo je ono što se nesvesno komunicira stotinama miliona mladih dečaka i devojčica širom sveta, baš kao i meni.
Well, I came here today to say, as a man that this is wrong, this is toxic, and it has to end.
Došao sam ovde danas da kažem, kao muškarac, da je ovo pogrešno, toksično, i mora prestati.
(Applause)
(Aplauz)
Now, I'm not here to give a history lesson. We likely all know how we got here, OK? But I'm just a guy that woke up after 30 years and realized that I was living in a state of conflict, conflict with who I feel I am in my core and conflict with who the world tells me as a man I should be. But I don't have a desire to fit into the current broken definition of masculinity, because I don't just want to be a good man. I want to be a good human. And I believe the only way that can happen is if men learn to not only embrace the qualities that we were told are feminine in ourselves but to be willing to stand up, to champion and learn from the women who embody them.
E sada, nisam ovde da bih držao lekciju iz istorije. Verovatno svi znamo kako smo dospeli ovde, je l' da? Samo sam momak koji se probudio posle 30 godina i shvatio da je živeo u stanju sukoba, sukoba sa onim što osećam da jesam u srži i sukoba sa muškarcem kakvim mi svet kaže da bi trebalo da budem. Ali ja nemam želju da se uklopim u trenutnu iskrivljenu definiciju muževnosti, jer ne želim biti samo dobar muškarac, već i dobar čovek. I verujem da jedini način da se to desi jeste da muškarci nauče ne samo da usvoje kvalitete za koje su nam rekli da su ženstveni, već da žele da ustanu, bore se i uče od žena koje ih poseduju.
Now, men --
E sada, muškarci -
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
I am not saying that everything we have learned is toxic. OK? I'm not saying there's anything inherently wrong with you or me, and men, I'm not saying we have to stop being men. But we need balance, right? We need balance, and the only way things will change is if we take a real honest look at the scripts that have been passed down to us from generation to generation and the roles that, as men, we choose to take on in our everyday lives.
Ne kažem da je sve što smo naučili toksično, ok? Ne kažem da je bilo šta suštinski pogrešno kod vas ili mene, i ne kažem da moramo prestati da budemo muškarci. Ali nam je potreban balans, u redu? Potreban nam je balans, i jedini način da se stvari promene je da iskreno pogledamo scenarije koji su nam prosleđivani iz generacije u generaciju i uloge koje, kao muškarci, biramo da preuzmemo u svakodnevnom životu.
So speaking of scripts, the first script I ever got came from my dad. My dad is awesome. He's loving, he's kind, he's sensitive, he's nurturing, he's here.
Kada smo kod scenarija, prvi tekst koji sam ikada dobio bio je od mog tate. Moj tata je fenomenalan. On je pun ljubavi, nežan, osećajan, brižan, on je ovde.
(Applause)
(Aplauz)
He's crying.
On plače.
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
But, sorry, Dad, as a kid I resented him for it, because I blamed him for making me soft, which wasn't welcomed in the small town in Oregon that we had moved to. Because being soft meant that I was bullied. See, my dad wasn't traditionally masculine, so he didn't teach me how to use my hands. He didn't teach me how to hunt, how to fight, you know, man stuff. Instead he taught me what he knew: that being a man was about sacrifice and doing whatever you can to take care of and provide for your family. But there was another role I learned how to play from my dad, who, I discovered, learned it from his dad, a state senator who later in life had to work nights as a janitor to support his family, and he never told a soul. That role was to suffer in secret. And now three generations later, I find myself playing that role, too. So why couldn't my grandfather just reach out to another man and ask for help? Why does my dad to this day still think he's got to do it all on his own? I know a man who would rather die than tell another man that they're hurting. But it's not because we're just all, like, strong silent types. It's not. A lot of us men are really good at making friends, and talking, just not about anything real.
Ali, izvini tata, kao dete sam ga prezirao zbog toga, jer sam ga krivio što me čini mekim, što nije bilo poželjno u malom gradu u Oregonu u koji smo se doselili. Jer biti mek znači da su me maltretirali. Vidite, moj tata nije bio tradicionalno muževan, tako da me nije učio kako da koristim šake. Nije me učio kako da lovim, kako da se borim, znate već, muške stvari. Umesto toga me je učio šta je znao: da biti muškarac znači žrtvovati se i raditi sve što možeš kako bi brinuo i stvarao za svoju porodicu. Ali postojala je još jedna uloga koju sam naučio od svog tate, koju je, otkrio sam, naučio od svog tate, senatora koji je kasnije u životu morao da radi noću kao domar da bi izdržavao porodicu i nikada nikome nije rekao. Ta uloga je bila tajna patnja. I sada tri generacije kasnije, ja igram tu istu ulogu. Zašto onda moj deda nije prišao drugom muškarcu i zatražio pomoć? Zašto moj tata i dan danas misli da sve mora uraditi sam? Znam čoveka koji bi radije umro nego rekao drugom muškarcu da pati. Ali to nije zato što smo svi, kao, jaki tihi likovi. Nije. Mnogi od nas muškaraca su zaista dobri u stvaranju drugarstava i priči, smo ne ni o čemu stvarnom.
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
If it's about work or sports or politics or women, we have no problem sharing our opinions, but if it's about our insecurities or our struggles, our fear of failure, then it's almost like we become paralyzed. At least, I do.
Ako je reč oposlu, sportu, politici ili ženama, nemamo problema da kažemo svoje mišljenje, ali ako je reč o našim nesigurnostima ili borbama, našem strahu od neuspeha, u tom slučaju skoro da se parališemo. Bar ja.
So some of the ways that I have been practicing breaking free of this behavior are by creating experiences that force me to be vulnerable. So if there's something I'm experiencing shame around in my life, I practice diving straight into it, no matter how scary it is -- and sometimes, even publicly. Because then in doing so I take away its power, and my display of vulnerability can in some cases give other men permission to do the same.
Neki od načina na koje sam ja vežbao oslobađanje od ovog ponašanja jesu kreiranje iskustava koja me primoravaju da budem ranjiv. Tako da ako postoji nešto zbog čega osećam sram, vežbam skakanje direktno u to, bez obzira na to koliko je strašno - a ponekad i javno. Jer mu time oduzimam moć, a moje prikazivanje ranjivosti može nekad dozvoliti i drugim muškarcima da urade isto.
As an example, a little while ago I was wrestling with an issue in my life that I knew I needed to talk to my guy friends about, but I was so paralyzed by fear that they would judge me and see me as weak and I would lose my standing as a leader that I knew I had to take them out of town on a three-day guys trip --
Na primer, pre nekog vremena borio sam se sa problemom o kome sam znao da moram porazgovarati sa svojim drugarima, ali sam bio toliko paralisan strahom da će me osuđivati i videti me kao slabog i da ću izgubiti poziciju vođe da sam znao da ih moram odvesti van grada na trodnevno muško putovanje -
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
Just to open up. And guess what? It wasn't until the end of the third day that I finally found the strength to talk to them about what I was going through. But when I did, something amazing happened. I realized that I wasn't alone, because my guys had also been struggling. And as soon as I found the strength and the courage to share my shame, it was gone. Now, I've learned over time that if I want to practice vulnerability, then I need to build myself a system of accountability. So I've been really blessed as an actor. I've built a really wonderful fan base, really, really sweet and engaged, and so I decided to use my social platform as kind of this Trojan horse wherein I could create a daily practice of authenticity and vulnerability. The response has been incredible. It's been affirming, it's been heartwarming. I get tons of love and press and positive messages daily. But it's all from a certain demographic: women.
samo da bih se otvorio. I pogađajte? Tek na kraju trećeg dana sam konačno smogao snage da pričam sa njima o onome kroz šta prolazim. Ali kada sam to uradio, desilo se nešto divno. Shvatio sam da nisam sam, jer su se i moji drugari takođe mučili. I čim sam našao snage i hrabrosti da podelim svoj sram, nestao je. Vremenom sam naučio da ako želim da vežbam ranjivost onda moram izgraditi sistem odgovornosti. Bio sam zaista blagosloven kao glumac. Izgradio sam zaista divnu bazu ljubitelja, zaista slatku i aktivnu, pa sam odlučio da iskoristim svoju društvenu mrežu kao vrstu trojanskog konja pri čemu bih kreirao dnevnu vežbu autentičnosti i ranjivosti. Odgovor je neverovatan. Pun je odobravanja, dirljivosti, svakog dana dobijam tone ljubavi i publiciteta i pozitivnih poruka. Ali je sve to od određene demografije: žena.
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
This is real. Why are only women following me? Where are the men?
Ovo je stvarno. Zašto me prate samo žene? Gde su muškarci?
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
About a year ago, I posted this photo. Now, afterwards, I was scrolling through some of the comments, and I noticed that one of my female fans had tagged her boyfriend in the picture, and her boyfriend responded by saying, "Please stop tagging me in gay shit. Thx."
Pre oko godinu dana postavio sam ovu sliku. Nakon toga sam listao neke komentare i primetio da je jedna od mojih ženskih fanova označila svog dečka na slici, a njen dečko je odgovorio: „Molim te prestani da me označavaš na gej sranju. Hvala”.
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
As if being gay makes you less of a man, right?
Jer vas biti gej čini manje muškarcem, zar ne?
So I took a deep breath, and I responded. I said, very politely, that I was just curious, because I'm on an exploration of masculinity, and I wanted to know why my love for my wife qualified as gay shit. And then I said, honestly I just wanted to learn.
Duboko sam udahnuo i odgovorio. Rekao sam, vrlo učtivo, da sam samo znatiželjan, jer sam na istraživanju muževnosti, i želim da znam zašto se moja ljubav prema ženi kvalifikuje kao gej sranje. A zatim sam rekao, iskreno samo želim da naučim.
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
Now, he immediately wrote me back. I thought he was going to go off on me, but instead he apologized. He told me how, growing up, public displays of affection were looked down on. He told me that he was wrestling and struggling with his ego, and how much he loved his girlfriend and how thankful he was for her patience. And then a few weeks later, he messaged me again. This time he sent me a photo of him on one knee proposing.
Momentalno mi je odgovorio. Mislio sam da će me psovati, ali se on zapravo izvinio. Rekao mi je da, dok je rastao, javni izlivi emocija su bili gledani s prezirom. Rekao mi je da se rve i bori sa svojim egom, i koliko voli svoju devojku i koliko joj je zahvalan za strpljenje. A onda nekoliko nedelja kasnije pisao mi je ponovo. Ovog puta mi je poslao sliku sebe na kolenu, kako prose svoju devojku.
(Applause)
(Aplauz)
And all he said was, "Thank you."
I rekao je samo „Hvala”.
I've been this guy. I get it. See, publicly, he was just playing his role, rejecting the feminine, right? But secretly he was waiting for permission to express himself, to be seen, to be heard, and all he needed was another man holding him accountable and creating a safe space for him to feel, and the transformation was instant. I loved this experience, because it showed me that transformation is possible, even over direct messages. So I wanted to figure out how I could reach more men, but of course none of them were following me.
Bio sam ovaj momak. Razumem ga. Vidite, javno, on je samo igrao svoju ulogu, odbijanje ženstvenosti, zar ne? Ali je potajno čekao dozvolu da se izrazi, da ga vide, čuju, i samo mu je trebao drugi muškarac koji ga smatra odgovornim i kreira bezbedni prostor u kome oseća, i transformacija je bila momentalna. Volim ovo iskustvo, jer mi je pokazalo da je transformacija moguća čak i preko direktnih poruka. Pa sam želeo da otkrijem kako da doprem do više muškaraca, ali naravno nijedan me nije pratio.
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
So I tried an experiment. I started posting more stereotypically masculine things --
Pa sam sproveo eksperiment. Počeo sam da postavljam više stereotipski muževne stvari -
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
Like my challenging workouts, my meal plans, my journey to heal my body after an injury. And guess what happened? Men started to write me. And then, out of the blue, for the first time in my entire career, a male fitness magazine called me, and they said they wanted to honor me as one of their game-changers.
Poput mojih izazovnih treninga, planova za obrok, mog puta ka zaceljenju tela nakon povrede. I pogodite šta se desilo? Muškarci su počeli da mi pišu. A zatim, ni od kuda, prvi put u mojoj karijeri pozvao me je muški fitnes magazin i rekli su da žele da pišu o meni kao jednom od revolucionara.
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
Was that really game-changing? Or is it just conforming? And see, that's the problem. It's totally cool for men to follow me when I talk about guy stuff and I conform to gender norms. But if I talk about how much I love my wife or my daughter or my 10-day-old son, how I believe that marriage is challenging but beautiful, or how as a man I struggle with body dysmorphia, or if I promote gender equality, then only the women show up. Where are the men? So men, men, men, men!
Da li je to zaista bilo revolucionarno? Ili samo prilagodljivo? I u tome je problem. Potpuno je kul da me muškarci prate kada govorim o muškim stvarima i prilagođavam se rodnim normama. Ali ako govorim o tome koliko volim svoju ženu ili svoju ćerku ili 10 dana starog sina, kako verujem da je brak izazovan ali divan, ili kako se kao muškarac borim sa dismorfijom tela, ili ako promovišem jednakost polova, pojavljuju se samo žene. Gde su muškarci? Prema tome muškarci, muškarci, muškarci, muškarci!
(Applause)
(Aplauz)
I understand. Growing up, we tend to challenge each other. We've got to be the toughest, the strongest, the bravest men that we can be. And for many of us, myself included, our identities are wrapped up in whether or not at the end of the day we feel like we're man enough. But I've got a challenge for all the guys, because men love challenges.
Razumem. Dok rastemo izazivamo jedni druge. Moramo biti najopasniji, najjači, najhrabriji muškarci. I za mnoge od nas, uključujući i mene, naši identiteti su umotani u to da li se ili ne na kraju dana osećamo kao dovoljno muško. Ali imam jedan izazov za vas, momci, jer muškarci vole izazove.
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
I challenge you to see if you can use the same qualities that you feel make you a man to go deeper into yourself. Your strength, your bravery, your toughness: Can we redefine what those mean and use them to explore our hearts? Are you brave enough to be vulnerable? To reach out to another man when you need help? To dive headfirst into your shame? Are you strong enough to be sensitive, to cry whether you are hurting or you're happy, even if it makes you look weak? Are you confident enough to listen to the women in your life? To hear their ideas and their solutions? To hold their anguish and actually believe them, even if what they're saying is against you? And will you be man enough to stand up to other men when you hear "locker room talk," when you hear stories of sexual harassment? When you hear your boys talking about grabbing ass or getting her drunk, will you actually stand up and do something so that one day we don't have to live in a world where a woman has to risk everything and come forward to say the words "me too?"
Izazivam vas da vidite da li možete iskoristiti iste kvalitete za koje osećate da vas čine muškarcima da biste zašli dublje u sebe. Vašu snagu, hrabrost, čvrstinu. Da li možemo da ih redefinišemo i upotrebimo ih za istraživanje svojih srca? Da li ste dovoljno hrabri da budete ranjivi? Da se obratite drugom muškarcu za pomoć? Da skočite glavom u svoj sram? Da li ste dovoljno jaki da budete osećajni, da plačete i kada vas boli i kada ste srećni, čak i ako zato izgledate slabi? Da li ste dovoljno sigurni u sebe da slušate žene u svom životu? Da čujete njihove ideje i rešenja? Da zadržite njihovu mržnju i zapravo im verujete čak i kada je to što govore protiv vas? I da li ćete biti dovoljno muško da se suprotstavite drugim muškarcima kada čujete „priče iz svlačionice”, kada čujete priče о seksualnom zlostavljanju? Kada čujete svoje drugare kako su je zgrabili za dupe ili napili, da li ćete zaista ustati i nešto uraditi da jednog dana ne bismo živeli u svetu u kome žena mora rizikovati sve i istupiti da bi izgovorila „ja takođe”?
(Applause)
(Aplauz)
This is serious stuff. I've had to take a real, honest look at the ways that I've unconsciously been hurting the women in my life, and it's ugly. My wife told me that I had been acting in a certain way that hurt her and not correcting it. Basically, sometimes when she would go to speak, at home or in public, I would just cut her off mid-sentence and finish her thought for her. It's awful. The worst part was that I was completely unaware when I was doing it. It was unconscious. So here I am doing my part, trying to be a feminist, amplifying the voices of women around the world, and yet at home, I am using my louder voice to silence the woman I love the most. So I had to ask myself a tough question: am I man enough to just shut the hell up and listen?
Ovo su ozbiljne stvari. Morao sam da zaista, iskreno sagledam načine na koje sam nesvesno povređivao žene u svom životu, i grozno je. Moja žena mi je rekla da sam se ponašao na određeni način koji ju je povređivao i nisam ga ispravljao. Naime, ponekad kada bi pričala kod kuće ili u javnosti, ja bih je prekinuo u pola rečenice i završio njenu misao. Odvratno je. Najgore je što apsolutno nisam imao pojma da sam to radio. Bilo je nesvesno. I evo me ovde, igram svoju ulogu, pokušavajući da budem feminista, pojačavajući glasove žena širom sveta, a kod kuće koristim svoj glasniji glas da ućutkam ženu koju volim najviše na svetu. Tako da sam sebi morao da postavim teško pitanje: da li sam dovoljno muško da jednostavno ućutim i slušam?
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
(Applause)
(Aplauz)
I've got to be honest. I wish that didn't get an applause.
Moram biti iskren. Voleo bih da to nije dobilo aplauz.
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
Guys, this is real. And I'm just scratching the surface here, because the deeper we go, the uglier it gets, I guarantee you. I don't have time to get into porn and violence against women or the split of domestic duties or the gender pay gap. But I believe that as men, it's time we start to see past our privilege and recognize that we are not just part of the problem. Fellas, we are the problem. The glass ceiling exists because we put it there, and if we want to be a part of the solution, then words are no longer enough.
Momci, ovo je stvarno. A ja sam ovim samo zagrebao površinu, jer što dublje idemo, sve je ružnije, garantujem vam. Nemam vremena da se bavim pornografijom i nasiljem nad ženama ili podeli obaveza u kući, ili platnoj polnoj diskriminaciji. Ali verujem da nam je, kao muškarcima vreme da gledamo van svojih privilegija i priznamo ne samo da smo deo problema. Drugari, mi jesmo problem. Stakleni plafon postoji jer smo ga mi postavili, i ako želimo da budeo deo rešenja, onda reči nisu više dovoljne.
There's a quote that I love that I grew up with from the Bahá'í writings. It says that "the world of humanity is possessed of two wings, the male and the female. So long as these two wings are not equivalent in strength, the bird will not fly."
Postoji Baha'i izreka koju volim i sa kojom sam odrastao. Ona kaže da „svet čovečanstva poseduju dva krila, muško i žensko. Sve dok ova dva krila nisu jednaka po snazi, ptica neće leteti”.
So women, on behalf of men all over the world who feel similar to me, please forgive us for all the ways that we have not relied on your strength. And now I would like to ask you to formally help us, because we cannot do this alone. We are men. We're going to mess up. We're going to say the wrong thing. We're going to be tone-deaf. We're more than likely, probably, going to offend you. But don't lose hope. We're only here because of you, and like you, as men, we need to stand up and become your allies as you fight against pretty much everything. We need your help in celebrating our vulnerability and being patient with us as we make this very, very long journey from our heads to our hearts. And finally to parents: instead of teaching our children to be brave boys or pretty girls, can we maybe just teach them how to be good humans?
Prema tome žene, u ime muškaraca širom sveta koji se osećaju slično kao ja, molim vas oprostite nam za svaki put kada se nismo oslonili na vašu snagu. I sada želim da vas zamolim dа nam zvanično pomognete jer ovo ne možemo sami. Mi smo muškarci. Zabrljaćemo. Reći ćemo pogrešnu stvar. Slušaćemo selektivno. Više je nego verovatno da ćemo vas uvrediti. Ali ne gubite nadu. Ovde smo samo zbog vas, i kao vi, mi muškarci moramo ustati i postati vaši saveznici jer se borite protiv prilično svega. Potrebna nam je vaša pomoć u prihvatnju ranjivosti i strpljivost sa nama jer smo na ovom vrlo, vrlo dugom putu od naših glava do naših srca. I konačno roditeljima: umesto da učimo svoju decu da budu hrabri dečaci i lepe devojčice, da li možda možemo da ih samo naučimo kako da budu dobri ljudi?
So back to my dad. Growing up, yeah, like every boy, I had my fair share of issues, but now I realize that it was even thanks to his sensitivity and emotional intelligence that I am able to stand here right now talking to you in the first place. The resentment I had for my dad I now realize had nothing to do with him. It had everything to do with me and my longing to be accepted and to play a role that was never meant for me. So while my dad may have not taught me how to use my hands, he did teach me how to use my heart, and to me that makes him more a man than anything.
Vratimo se na mog tatu. Odrastajući, da, kao i svaki dečak, imao sam svoje probleme, ali sada shvatam da zahvaljujući njegovoj osećajnosti i emocionalnoj inteligenciji ja sada mogu da stojim ovde i pričam sa vama. Sada shvatam da prezir koji sam prema njemu osećao nije imao veze sa njim. Imao je veze samnom i mojom željom da budem prihvaćen i igram ulogu koja mi nikada nije bila namenjena. I iako me moj tata možda nije naučio da koristim šake, naučio me je da koristim srce, a za mene ga to čini više muškarcem nego bilo šta.
Thank you.
Hvala.
(Applause)
(Aplauz)