As an actor, I get scripts and it's my job to stay on script, to say my lines and bring to life a character that someone else wrote. Over the course of my career, I've had the great honor playing some of the greatest male role models ever represented on television. You might recognize me as "Male Escort #1."
Kao glumac, dobijem scenarije i moje je da ih se pridržavam, da izgovaram svoj tekst i oživljavam lik kojeg je netko drugi napisao. U svojoj karijeri imao sam veliku čast odigrati neke od najvećih muških uloga ikad prikazanih na televiziji. Možda me prepoznajete kao "Muškog pratitelja br.1".
(Laughter)
(Smijeh)
"Photographer Date Rapist," "Shirtless Date Rapist" from the award-winning "Spring Break Shark Attack."
"Fotografa silovatelja", "Silovatelja bez majice", iz nagrađivanog filma "Spring Break Shark Attack" (2005).
(Laughter)
(Smijeh)
"Shirtless Medical Student," "Shirtless Steroid-Using Con Man" and, in my most well-known role, as Rafael.
"Student medicine bez majice", "Prevarant na steroidima bez majice", i, moja najpoznatija uloga, Rafael.
(Applause)
(Pljesak)
A brooding, reformed playboy who falls for, of all things, a virgin, and who is only occasionally shirtless.
Zamišljeni, reformirani playboy koji padne na, zamislite, djevicu i koji samo povremeno nema majicu.
(Laughter)
(Smijeh)
Now, these roles don't represent the kind of man I am in my real life, but that's what I love about acting. I get to live inside characters very different than myself. But every time I got one of these roles, I was surprised, because most of the men I play ooze machismo, charisma and power, and when I look in the mirror, that's just not how I see myself. But it was how Hollywood saw me, and over time, I noticed a parallel between the roles I would play as a man both on-screen and off.
Ove me uloge ne predstavljaju onakvog kakav sam u stvarnom životu, ali upravo to i volim kod glume. Imam priliku živjeti u likovima različitima od mene samog. No, svaki put kad bih dobio takvu ulogu, ostao bih iznenađen, jer većina muškaraca koje glumim zrači muževnošću, karizmom i snagom, a kad se pogledam u zrcalo, sebe ne doživljavam tako. No, tako me je doživio Hollywood, a s vremenom sam primijetio paralelu među ulogama muškaraca koje sam glumio, na ekranu i u stvarnom životu.
I've been pretending to be a man that I'm not my entire life. I've been pretending to be strong when I felt weak, confident when I felt insecure and tough when really I was hurting. I think for the most part I've just been kind of putting on a show, but I'm tired of performing. And I can tell you right now that it is exhausting trying to be man enough for everyone all the time. Now -- right?
Cijeli život pravio sam se da sam netko tko nisam. Hinio sam da sam snažan kada sam bio ranjiv, da sam siguran u sebe, kada to nisam bio, i da sam jak kada sam, zapravo, patio. Mislim da sam se uglavnom pretvarao, ali umoran sam od glumatanja. I mogu vam reći da je iscrpljujuće pokušavati stalno i sve muški podnositi. Nije li tako?
(Laughter)
(Smijeh)
My brother heard that.
Moj brat je to čuo.
Now, for as long as I can remember, I've been told the kind of man that I should grow up to be. As a boy, all I wanted was to be accepted and liked by the other boys, but that acceptance meant I had to acquire this almost disgusted view of the feminine, and since we were told that feminine is the opposite of masculine, I either had to reject embodying any of these qualities or face rejection myself. This is the script that we've been given. Right? Girls are weak, and boys are strong. This is what's being subconsciously communicated to hundreds of millions of young boys and girls all over the world, just like it was with me.
Otkad pamtim za sebe, govorili su mi kakav čovjek moram postati. Kao dijete, samo sam želio da me ostali dječaci prihvate i vole, ali to je podrazumijevalo da mi se ženstvenost gotovo mora gaditi, a kako su nas učili da je ženstveno obrnuto od muževnog, morao sam ili odbiti utjelovljenje oba svojstva, ili biti odbijen od drugih. Svi smo dobili ovaj isti scenarij. Nije li tako? Cure su slabe, dečki su snažni. Ta se poruka podsvjesno šalje stotinama milijuna dječaka i djevojčica diljem svijeta, kao što je poslana meni.
Well, I came here today to say, as a man that this is wrong, this is toxic, and it has to end.
E pa, danas sam, kao muškarac, došao reći da je to pogrešno, toksično, i da mora prestati.
(Applause)
(Pljesak)
Now, I'm not here to give a history lesson. We likely all know how we got here, OK? But I'm just a guy that woke up after 30 years and realized that I was living in a state of conflict, conflict with who I feel I am in my core and conflict with who the world tells me as a man I should be. But I don't have a desire to fit into the current broken definition of masculinity, because I don't just want to be a good man. I want to be a good human. And I believe the only way that can happen is if men learn to not only embrace the qualities that we were told are feminine in ourselves but to be willing to stand up, to champion and learn from the women who embody them.
Nisam ovdje da držim predavanja o povijesti. Svi vjerojatno znamo kako smo ovamo dospjeli, je li tako? Ja sam samo tip koji se probudio nakon 30 godina i shvatio da sam živio u stanju sukoba, između onoga što osjećam da u suštini jesam i onoga kakav bih trebao biti prema očekivanjima drugih. No, nije mi želja uklopiti se u trenutačnu razbijenu definiciju muževnosti, jer ja ne želim biti samo dobar muškarac. Želim biti dobar čovjek. I vjerujem da se to može dogoditi samo ako muškarci nauče ne samo prihvaćati svoje kvalitete za koje su nam tvrdili da su ženstvene, već i da budu spremni zauzeti se, boriti se i učiti od žena koje ih utjelovljuju.
Now, men --
E sada, muškarci --
(Laughter)
(Smijeh)
I am not saying that everything we have learned is toxic. OK? I'm not saying there's anything inherently wrong with you or me, and men, I'm not saying we have to stop being men. But we need balance, right? We need balance, and the only way things will change is if we take a real honest look at the scripts that have been passed down to us from generation to generation and the roles that, as men, we choose to take on in our everyday lives.
Ne kažem da je sve što smo naučili toksično, ok? Ne kažem da nešto suštinski ne valja s vama ili sa mnom i ne govorim muškarcima da to više ne budu. No, treba nam ravnoteža, nije li tako? Treba nam ravnoteža, a jedini način da se stvari promjene jest da iskreno proučimo tekst koji su nam proslijedili iz naraštaja u naraštaj i uloge koje smo kao muškarci sami odabirali za svoju svakodnevicu.
So speaking of scripts, the first script I ever got came from my dad. My dad is awesome. He's loving, he's kind, he's sensitive, he's nurturing, he's here.
Kada govorimo o scenariju, prvi sam dobio od svog oca. Moj je otac fenomenalan. Pun je ljubavi, ljubazan, osjetljiv i pažljiv, prisutan je.
(Applause)
(Pljesak)
He's crying.
Plače.
(Laughter)
(Smijeh)
But, sorry, Dad, as a kid I resented him for it, because I blamed him for making me soft, which wasn't welcomed in the small town in Oregon that we had moved to. Because being soft meant that I was bullied. See, my dad wasn't traditionally masculine, so he didn't teach me how to use my hands. He didn't teach me how to hunt, how to fight, you know, man stuff. Instead he taught me what he knew: that being a man was about sacrifice and doing whatever you can to take care of and provide for your family. But there was another role I learned how to play from my dad, who, I discovered, learned it from his dad, a state senator who later in life had to work nights as a janitor to support his family, and he never told a soul. That role was to suffer in secret. And now three generations later, I find myself playing that role, too. So why couldn't my grandfather just reach out to another man and ask for help? Why does my dad to this day still think he's got to do it all on his own? I know a man who would rather die than tell another man that they're hurting. But it's not because we're just all, like, strong silent types. It's not. A lot of us men are really good at making friends, and talking, just not about anything real.
Oprosti, tata, ali kao dijete to sam mu zamjerao, krivio sam ga što me učinio preblagim, a to se nije prihvaćalo u gradiću u Oregonu u koji smo preselili. Jer biti blag značilo je da će te maltretirati. Vidite, moj tata nije bio tradicionalno muževan, pa me nije podučio kako se tući. Nije me naučio kako loviti, boriti se, znate već, te muške stvari. Umjesto toga, naučio me ono što je znao: da je biti muškarac značilo i podnositi žrtve i činiti sve u vašoj moći kako biste se pobrinuli za svoju obitelj. No, od svojeg sam tate naučio još jednu ulogu, koju je on, kako sam otkrio, naučio od svog tate, državnog senatora koji je u poodmakloj dobi morao raditi kao domar noću, kako bi priskrbio za svoju obitelj, a to nikad nikome nije rekao. Tu je ulogu u tišini otrpio. I sada, gotovo tri naraštaja kasnije, i ja igram istu ulogu. Zašto moj djed nije jednostavno potražio pomoć od drugog muškarca? Zašto moj otac i dan danas smatra da sve mora činiti sam? Znam čovjeka koji bi radije umro nego drugom muškarcu priznao da pati. Ali ne zato što smo svi snažni, tihi tipovi. Ne. Mnogi su među nama dobri u sklapanju prijateljstava, razgovoru, samo ne o nečemu stvarnome.
(Laughter)
(Smijeh)
If it's about work or sports or politics or women, we have no problem sharing our opinions, but if it's about our insecurities or our struggles, our fear of failure, then it's almost like we become paralyzed. At least, I do.
Ako se radi o poslu ili sportu, politici ili ženama, bez problema reći ćemo što mislimo, ali ako se radi o našim nesigurnostima ili borbama, strahu od neuspjeha, gotovo da smo paralizirani. Barem je to slučaj sa mnom.
So some of the ways that I have been practicing breaking free of this behavior are by creating experiences that force me to be vulnerable. So if there's something I'm experiencing shame around in my life, I practice diving straight into it, no matter how scary it is -- and sometimes, even publicly. Because then in doing so I take away its power, and my display of vulnerability can in some cases give other men permission to do the same.
Pokušao sam uvježbati oslobađanje od takvog ponašanja tako da stvorim iskustva koja me čine ranjivim. Pa tako, ako se nečega u svom životu sramim, vježbam kako se upustiti ravno u to, ma koliko to bilo strašno, a ponekad to činim čak i javno. Na taj način, oduzmem tomu moć i moja otkrivena ranjivost može ponukati i druge muškarce da učine isto.
As an example, a little while ago I was wrestling with an issue in my life that I knew I needed to talk to my guy friends about, but I was so paralyzed by fear that they would judge me and see me as weak and I would lose my standing as a leader that I knew I had to take them out of town on a three-day guys trip --
Primjera radi, nedavno sam se borio s nečim o čemu sam znao da moram razgovarati sa svojim muškim prijateljima, ali toliko me paralizirao strah da će me osuđivati i doživljavati kao slabića, te da ću izgubiti svoj položaj vođe, da sam znao da ih moram odvesti na trodnevni muški izlet --
(Laughter)
(Smijeh)
Just to open up. And guess what? It wasn't until the end of the third day that I finally found the strength to talk to them about what I was going through. But when I did, something amazing happened. I realized that I wasn't alone, because my guys had also been struggling. And as soon as I found the strength and the courage to share my shame, it was gone. Now, I've learned over time that if I want to practice vulnerability, then I need to build myself a system of accountability. So I've been really blessed as an actor. I've built a really wonderful fan base, really, really sweet and engaged, and so I decided to use my social platform as kind of this Trojan horse wherein I could create a daily practice of authenticity and vulnerability. The response has been incredible. It's been affirming, it's been heartwarming. I get tons of love and press and positive messages daily. But it's all from a certain demographic: women.
samo da otvorim dušu. I znate što? Tek sam potkraj trećeg dana konačno smogao hrabrosti razgovarati s njima o tome što sam proživljavao. No, jednom kad jesam, zbilo se nešto divno. Shvatio sam da nisam sâm, jer i moje je dečke to isto mučilo. I čim sam smogao snage i hrabrosti da podijelim svoj sram, on je nestao. S vremenom sam naučio da si, ako želim vježbati ranjivost, moram izgraditi sustav odgovornosti. Kao glumac bio sam blagoslovljen. Izgradio sam si divnu bazu obožavatelja, koji su doista dragi i aktivni i odlučio sam svoju društvenu platformu iskoristiti kao neku vrstu trojanskog konja u kojem mogu svakodnevno vježbati autentičnost i ranjivost. Reakcije su bile nevjerojatne. Pune odobravanja, topline. Svakodnevno primam na tone ljubavi, publiciteta i pozitivnih poruka. No, sve to dolazi iz jedne demografske skupine: žene.
(Laughter)
(Smijeh)
This is real. Why are only women following me? Where are the men?
Istina je. Zašto me prate samo žene? Gdje su muškarci?
(Laughter)
(Smijeh)
About a year ago, I posted this photo. Now, afterwards, I was scrolling through some of the comments, and I noticed that one of my female fans had tagged her boyfriend in the picture, and her boyfriend responded by saying, "Please stop tagging me in gay shit. Thx."
Prije otprilike godine dana objavio sam ovu sliku. Kasnije sam pregledavao neke od komentara i primijetio da je jedna od obožavateljica na slici označila svog dečka, a ovaj je odgovorio: "Molim te, prestani me označivati na gay sranjima. Hvala."
(Laughter)
(Smijeh)
As if being gay makes you less of a man, right?
Kao da te činjenica da si gay čini manje muškarcem.
So I took a deep breath, and I responded. I said, very politely, that I was just curious, because I'm on an exploration of masculinity, and I wanted to know why my love for my wife qualified as gay shit. And then I said, honestly I just wanted to learn.
Duboko sam udahnnuo i odgovorio. Napisao sam, vrlo ljubazno, da me zanima, budući da istražujem muževnost, na koji način se ljubav prema mojoj supruzi može kvalificirati kao gay sranje. I dodao - doista, samo želim saznati.
(Laughter)
(Smijeh)
Now, he immediately wrote me back. I thought he was going to go off on me, but instead he apologized. He told me how, growing up, public displays of affection were looked down on. He told me that he was wrestling and struggling with his ego, and how much he loved his girlfriend and how thankful he was for her patience. And then a few weeks later, he messaged me again. This time he sent me a photo of him on one knee proposing.
Odmah mi je odgovorio. Očekivao sam da će me napasti, no, on se ispričao. Rekao mi je da se, dok je odrastao, na javne izljeve nježnosti nije gledalo blagonaklono. Rekao je da se bori sa svojim egom te koliko voli svoju djevojku i koliko je zahvalan na njezinoj strpljivosti. A nekoliko tjedana kasnije, ponovno mi je pisao. Ovoga je puta poslao fotografiju, sebe, na koljenu, dok prosi svoju djevojku.
(Applause)
(Pljesak)
And all he said was, "Thank you."
I napisao je samo "Hvala ti."
I've been this guy. I get it. See, publicly, he was just playing his role, rejecting the feminine, right? But secretly he was waiting for permission to express himself, to be seen, to be heard, and all he needed was another man holding him accountable and creating a safe space for him to feel, and the transformation was instant. I loved this experience, because it showed me that transformation is possible, even over direct messages. So I wanted to figure out how I could reach more men, but of course none of them were following me.
I ja sam bio taj tip. Jasno mi je. U javnosti, on je samo igrao svoju ulogu, odbijao sve što je ženstveno, ok? No, potajno je čekao dozvolu da se izrazi, da ga vide i čuju i trebao mu je samo neki drugi muškarac koji bi ga držao odgovornim i stvorio siguran prostor za osjećaje, i preobržaj je bio trenutačan. Jako mi se svidjelo to iskustvo, jer mi je pokazalo da je preobražaj moguć, čak i preko izravnih poruka. Stoga sam želio vidjeti kako doprijeti do još muškaraca, no, jasno, nijedan me nije pratio.
(Laughter)
(Smijeh)
So I tried an experiment. I started posting more stereotypically masculine things --
Stoga sam proveo eksperiment. Počeo sam objavljivati stereotipne muške stvari --
(Laughter)
(Smijeh)
Like my challenging workouts, my meal plans, my journey to heal my body after an injury. And guess what happened? Men started to write me. And then, out of the blue, for the first time in my entire career, a male fitness magazine called me, and they said they wanted to honor me as one of their game-changers.
npr. svoje izazovne tjelovježbe, planove obroka, svoj put do ozdravljenja tijela nakon povrede. Pogodite što se dogodilo? Muškarci su mi počeli pisati. I tada, neočekivano, po prvi puta u mojoj karijeri, nazvali su me iz muškog fitness časopisa, i rekli da mi žele odati počast kao revolucionaru.
(Laughter)
(Smijeh)
Was that really game-changing? Or is it just conforming? And see, that's the problem. It's totally cool for men to follow me when I talk about guy stuff and I conform to gender norms. But if I talk about how much I love my wife or my daughter or my 10-day-old son, how I believe that marriage is challenging but beautiful, or how as a man I struggle with body dysmorphia, or if I promote gender equality, then only the women show up. Where are the men? So men, men, men, men!
Je li to doista bilo revolucionarno? Ili se radilo samo o konformizmu? I, vidite, upravo je tu problem. Za muškarce je skroz ok pratiti me dok govorim o muškim stvarima i poštujem rodne norme. No, čim počnem govoriti o ljubavi prema svojoj supruzi, ili kćerci, ili pak sinu kojem je tek 10 dana, o tome kako vjerujem da je brak izazovan, ali i divan, ili kako se, kao muškarac, borim s dismorfijom tijela, ili promičem ravnopravnost spolova, javljaju se samo žene. Gdje su muškarci? Dakle, muškarci, muškarci, muškarci!
(Applause)
(Pljesak)
I understand. Growing up, we tend to challenge each other. We've got to be the toughest, the strongest, the bravest men that we can be. And for many of us, myself included, our identities are wrapped up in whether or not at the end of the day we feel like we're man enough. But I've got a challenge for all the guys, because men love challenges.
Razumijem. Dok odrastamo, stalno se međusobno izazivamo. Moramo biti najjači, najsnažniji i najhrabriji mogući muškarci. I za mnoge od nas, uključujući i mene, naši identiteti ovise o tome osjećamo li se na kraju dana dovoljno muškarcima. No, imam za sve dečke izazov, jer dečki vole izazove.
(Laughter)
(Smijeh)
I challenge you to see if you can use the same qualities that you feel make you a man to go deeper into yourself. Your strength, your bravery, your toughness: Can we redefine what those mean and use them to explore our hearts? Are you brave enough to be vulnerable? To reach out to another man when you need help? To dive headfirst into your shame? Are you strong enough to be sensitive, to cry whether you are hurting or you're happy, even if it makes you look weak? Are you confident enough to listen to the women in your life? To hear their ideas and their solutions? To hold their anguish and actually believe them, even if what they're saying is against you? And will you be man enough to stand up to other men when you hear "locker room talk," when you hear stories of sexual harassment? When you hear your boys talking about grabbing ass or getting her drunk, will you actually stand up and do something so that one day we don't have to live in a world where a woman has to risk everything and come forward to say the words "me too?"
Izazivam vas da vidite možete li iste kvalitete zbog kojih se osjećate muškarcima, iskoristiti za dublje otkrivanje sebe. Vaša snaga, hrabrost, otpornost: možemo li redefinirati što one znače i istražiti njima svoja srca? Jeste li dovoljno hrabri da budete ranjivi? Da pomoć potražite od drugog muškarca? Da uronite ravno u svoj sram? Jeste li dovoljno hrabri da budete osjetljivi, da plačete kada vas boli, ili kada ste sretni, čak i ako se zbog toga doimate slabima? Jeste li dovoljno sigurni u sebe da slušate žene u vašem životu? Da čujete njihove ideje i rješenja? Da suzbijete njihovu tjeskobu i vjerujete im, čak i kada je ono što govore protiv vas? I hoćete li biti dovoljno muški da se suprotstavite drugim muškarcima kad čujete "razgovore iz svlačionice", kad čujete priče o seksualnom zlostavljanju? Kad čujete svoje dečke da se hvale jer su neku zgrabili za dupe ili napili, hoćete li ustati i učiniti nešto da jednog dana doživimo i svijet u kojemu žena ne mora sve riskirati i izložiti se, riječima "i ja"?
(Applause)
(Pljesak)
This is serious stuff. I've had to take a real, honest look at the ways that I've unconsciously been hurting the women in my life, and it's ugly. My wife told me that I had been acting in a certain way that hurt her and not correcting it. Basically, sometimes when she would go to speak, at home or in public, I would just cut her off mid-sentence and finish her thought for her. It's awful. The worst part was that I was completely unaware when I was doing it. It was unconscious. So here I am doing my part, trying to be a feminist, amplifying the voices of women around the world, and yet at home, I am using my louder voice to silence the woman I love the most. So I had to ask myself a tough question: am I man enough to just shut the hell up and listen?
Ovo su ozbiljne stvari. Morao sam dobro i iskreno promotriti načine kojima sam podsvjesno naudio ženama u svom životu, i to ne izgleda lijepo. Supruga mi je rekla da sam radio nešto što ju je boljelo, a da to nisam ispravljao. Praktički bih je, svaki put kad bi ona govorila, kod kuće ili u javnosti, prekinuo usred rečenice i završio misao umjesto nje. To je grozno. A najgore je to da nisam toga uopće bio svjestan. Bilo je to nesvjesno. Dakle, s jedne strane, igram svoju ulogu, pokušavam biti feminist, dati glasove ženama u svijetu, a s druge strane, kod kuće, koristim svoj glasniji glas da utišam ženu koju najviše volim. Pa sam se morao upitati teško pitanje: jesam li dovoljno muško da jednostavno umuknem i saslušam?
(Laughter)
(Smijeh)
(Applause)
(Pljesak)
I've got to be honest. I wish that didn't get an applause.
Moram biti iskren. Volio bih da tu niste pljeskali.
(Laughter)
(Smijeh)
Guys, this is real. And I'm just scratching the surface here, because the deeper we go, the uglier it gets, I guarantee you. I don't have time to get into porn and violence against women or the split of domestic duties or the gender pay gap. But I believe that as men, it's time we start to see past our privilege and recognize that we are not just part of the problem. Fellas, we are the problem. The glass ceiling exists because we put it there, and if we want to be a part of the solution, then words are no longer enough.
Dečki, ovo je stvarno. I samo sam zagrebao ispod površine, jer što dublje idemo, postaje gadnije, to vam jamčim. Nemam vremena govoriti o pornografiji ili nasilju nad ženama, ili o podjeli kućanskih obveza, kao ni o nejednakim plaćama među spolovima. No, vjerujem da je vrijeme da mi, muškarci, gledamo dalje od svojeg privilegija i priznamo da nismo samo dio problema. Momci, mi jesmo taj problem. Stakleni strop postoji jer smo ga mi tamo postavili, i ako želimo biti dio rješenja, riječi više nisu dovoljne.
There's a quote that I love that I grew up with from the Bahá'í writings. It says that "the world of humanity is possessed of two wings, the male and the female. So long as these two wings are not equivalent in strength, the bird will not fly."
Volim jedan citat iz Bahá'í spisa uz koji sam odrastao. Kaže da "svijet čovječanstva ima dva krila, muško i žensko krilo. Sve dok oba krila nisu jednako snažna, ptica ne može poletjeti."
So women, on behalf of men all over the world who feel similar to me, please forgive us for all the ways that we have not relied on your strength. And now I would like to ask you to formally help us, because we cannot do this alone. We are men. We're going to mess up. We're going to say the wrong thing. We're going to be tone-deaf. We're more than likely, probably, going to offend you. But don't lose hope. We're only here because of you, and like you, as men, we need to stand up and become your allies as you fight against pretty much everything. We need your help in celebrating our vulnerability and being patient with us as we make this very, very long journey from our heads to our hearts. And finally to parents: instead of teaching our children to be brave boys or pretty girls, can we maybe just teach them how to be good humans?
Stoga, žene, u ime muškaraca cijeloga svijeta, koji su meni slični, molim vas oprostite nam za svaki put kada se nismo oslonili na vašu snagu. I sad bih vas službeno zamolio da nam pomognete, jer ovo ne možemo sami. Muškarci smo. Zabrljat ćemo. Reći ćemo nešto pogrešno, nećemo saslušati. Najvjerojatnije ćemo vas i uvrijediti. Ali, ne gubite nadu. Ovdje smo samo zbog vas i poput vas, mi moramo ustati i postati vaši saveznici u borbi protiv gotovo svega. Treba nam vaša pomoć da odamo počast našoj ranjivosti. Imajte strpljenja s nama na ovom vrlo dugom putovanju od naših glava do naših srca. I konačno, poruka roditeljima: umjesto da svoju djecu učimo da budu hrabri dječaci i lijepe curice, nije li bolje učiti ih da budu dobri ljudi?
So back to my dad. Growing up, yeah, like every boy, I had my fair share of issues, but now I realize that it was even thanks to his sensitivity and emotional intelligence that I am able to stand here right now talking to you in the first place. The resentment I had for my dad I now realize had nothing to do with him. It had everything to do with me and my longing to be accepted and to play a role that was never meant for me. So while my dad may have not taught me how to use my hands, he did teach me how to use my heart, and to me that makes him more a man than anything.
Vratimo se na mog tatu. Kao i svaki dječak, odrastajući, borio sam se s nizom problema. No, sad shvaćam da trebam zahvaliti i njegovoj osjećajnosti i emocionalnoj inteligenciji, što danas govorim ovdje, pred vama. Shvaćam da moja netrpeljivost prema njemu nije imala veze s njim, već sa mnom i mojom željom da me se prihvati i da igram ulogu koja nije meni namijenjena. I dok me tata možda nije naučio kako da koristim šake, naučio me kako da koristim svoje srce, i to ga u mojim očima čini većim muškarcem od bilo čega drugoga.
Thank you.
Hvala vam.
(Applause)
(Pljesak)