We are losing our listening. We spend roughly 60 percent of our communication time listening, but we're not very good at it. We retain just 25 percent of what we hear. Now -- not you, not this talk, but that is generally true.
Ne jemi duke humbur degjimin tone. Ne shpenzojme afersisht 60 perqind te kohes se komunikimit duke degjuar, por ne nuk e bejme shume te mire ate. Ne ruajme vetem 25 perqind te asaj qe degjojme. Nuk jeni ju, nuk eshte ky fjalim, por kjo eshte nje e vertete pergjithesuese.
(Laughter)
Le te perkufizojme te degjuaren
Let's define listening as making meaning from sound. It's a mental process, and it's a process of extraction.
sikur i japim kuptim tingullit. Eshte nje proces mendor, dhe eshte nje proces ekstraktimi.
We use some pretty cool techniques to do this. One of them is pattern recognition. (Crowd noises) So in a cocktail party like this, if I say, "David, Sara, pay attention" -- some of you just sat up. We recognize patterns to distinguish noise from signal, and especially our name. Differencing is another technique we use. If I left this pink noise on for more than a couple of minutes, (Pink noise) you would literally cease to hear it. We listen to differences; we discount sounds that remain the same.
Ne perdorim disa teknika te mira per ta bere kete. Njera prej tyre eshte njohja e struktures. (Zhurme Turme) Keshtu qe ne nje feste kokteji si kjo, nese une them, "David, Sara, kushtoji vemendje," disa nga ju do te qendrojne te ngrire. Ne i njohim modelet per te vecuar zhurmen nga sinjalet, dhe ne vecanti emrat tane. Te diferencuarit eshte nje teknike tjeter qe ne perdorim. Nese e le te vazhdoje kete zhurme roze per me shume se disa minuta, ju do te pushoni vertet se degjuari ate. Ne i degjojme dallimet, ne i zbresim tingullin qe mbetet i njejte.
And then there is a whole range of filters. These filters take us from all sound down to what we pay attention to. Most people are entirely unconscious of these filters. But they actually create our reality in a way, because they tell us what we're paying attention to right now. I'll give you one example of that. Intention is very important in sound, in listening. When I married my wife, I promised her I would listen to her every day as if for the first time. Now that's something I fall short of on a daily basis.
Dhe me pas atje eshte nje game e tere filtrash. Keto filtra na marrin prej te gjithe ketyre tingujve rreth asaj qe duhet ti kushtojme vemendje. Shume njerez jane krejt te pavetedijshem per keto filtra. Por ne te vertete ato krijojne realitetin tone ne nje menyre, sepse ato na tregojne qe jemi duke i kushtuar vemendje tashme. Do ju jap nje shembull te kesaj: Qellimi eshte shume i rendesishem tek tingujt, tek te degjuarit. Kur une u martova me gruan time, une i premtova asaj qe do ta degjoja cdo dite sikur te ishte hera e pare. Tani, s'e mbaj dot kete premtim cdo dite.
(Laughter)
(Te qeshura)
But it's a great intention to have in a relationship.
Por eshte nje qellim i madh per te patur ne nje lidhje.
(Laughter)
Por kjo nuk eshte e gjitha.
But that's not all. Sound places us in space and in time. If you close your eyes right now in this room, you're aware of the size of the room from the reverberation and the bouncing of the sound off the surfaces; you're aware of how many people are around you, because of the micro-noises you're receiving. And sound places us in time as well, because sound always has time embedded in it. In fact, I would suggest that our listening is the main way that we experience the flow of time from past to future. So, "Sonority is time and meaning" -- a great quote.
Tingulli na vendos ne hapesire dhe ne kohe. Nese ju mbyllni syte tani ne kete dhome, ju jeni te vetedijshem per madhesine e dhomes nga jehona dhe zerat qe reflektohen nga siperfaqet. Dhe jeni te vetedijshem per sasine e njerezve qe jane rreth jush, per shkak te mikro - zhurmave qe jeni duke marre. Dhe tingulli na zhvendos ne kohe, sepse tingujt gjithmone kane kohen te misheruar ne te. Ne fakt, une do te sugjeroja qe degjimi eshte menyra kryesore qe ne te perjetojme rrjedhen e kohes nga e shkuara drejt se ardhmes. Pra, "Tingulli eshte kohe dhe kuptim" -- nje citat i madh.
I said at the beginning, we're losing our listening. Why did I say that? Well, there are a lot of reasons for this. First of all, we invented ways of recording -- first writing, then audio recording and now video recording as well. The premium on accurate and careful listening has simply disappeared. Secondly, the world is now so noisy, (Noise) with this cacophony going on visually and auditorily, it's just hard to listen; it's tiring to listen. Many people take refuge in headphones, but they turn big, public spaces like this, shared soundscapes, into millions of tiny, little personal sound bubbles. In this scenario, nobody's listening to anybody.
Une e thashe ne fillim, ne jemi duke humbur degjimin tone. Pse e thashe kete? Epo ka shume arsye per ta thene kete. E para eshte qe ne shpikem menyra te regjistrimit -- se pari te shkruarit, dhe me pas te regjistrimit audio dhe tashme edhe te regjistrimit video. Cmimi per nje degjim te sakte dhe te kujdesshem thjesht eshte zhdukur. Se dyti, bota sot eshte kaq e zhurmshme, (Zhurme) me kete kakofoni te vazhdueshme ne planin vizual dhe degjimor, eshte thjesht e veshtire per te degjuar; eshte e lodhshme te degjosh. Shume njerez strehohen tek kufjet, por ato i kthejne hapesirat e medha, publike si kjo, peisazhet zanore te perbashketa, ne miliona zhurma flluskash te vogla personale. Ne kete skenar, asnje spo degjon dike.
We're becoming impatient. We don't want oratory anymore; we want sound bites. And the art of conversation is being replaced -- dangerously, I think -- by personal broadcasting. I don't know how much listening there is in this conversation, which is sadly very common, especially in the UK. We're becoming desensitized. Our media have to scream at us with these kinds of headlines in order to get our attention. And that means it's harder for us to pay attention to the quiet, the subtle, the understated.
Ne behemi te padurueshem. Ne nuk duam me oratori, ne duam tinguj te shendoshe. Dhe arti i te biseduarit eshte duke u zevendesuar -- mendoj rrezikshmerisht -- nga transmetime personale. Une nuk e di sesa degjim ka ne kete bisedim, qe fatkeqesisht eshte shume e zakonshme, vecanerisht ne Angli. Ne jemi duke u bere te pandjeshem. Mediat tona duhet te na bertasin me keto lloje titujsh per te terhequr vemendjen tone. Dhe kjo do te thote qe eshte me e veshtire per ti kushtuar vemendje qetesise, delikateses, te kuptuarit.
This is a serious problem that we're losing our listening. This is not trivial, because listening is our access to understanding. Conscious listening always creates understanding, and only without conscious listening can these things happen. A world where we don't listen to each other at all is a very scary place indeed. So I'd like to share with you five simple exercises, tools you can take away with you, to improve your own conscious listening. Would you like that?
Ky eshte nje problem serioz qe ne jemi duke humbur te degjuarin. Kjo nuk eshte e parendesishme. Sepse te degjuarit eshte porta jone drejt te kuptuarit. Degjimi me vetedije gjithmone krijon te kuptuarin. Dhe vetem ne mungese te te degjuarit me vetedije mund te ndodhin keto gjera -- nje bote ku ne nuk e degjojme fare njeri tjetrin, eshte nje vend me te vertete shume i frikshem. Keshtu qe une dua te ndaj me ju pese ushtrime te thjeshta, mjete qe mund ti merrni me vete, per te permiresuar te degjuarit me vetedije. Do ta pelqeni kete?
Audience: Yes!
(Audienca: Po.) Mire.
Good. The first one is silence. Just three minutes a day of silence is a wonderful exercise to reset your ears and to recalibrate, so that you can hear the quiet again. If you can't get absolute silence, go for quiet, that's absolutely fine.
E para eshte qetesia. Vetem tre minuta ne dite ne qetesi eshte nje ushtrim i mrekullueshem per te rivendosur ne pune veshet dhe per tu ri-graduar keshtu qe te mund ta degjoni qetesine perseri. Nese nuk mund te kesh nje qetesi absolute, shko drejt qetesise, eshte absolutisht mire.
Second, I call this "the mixer." (Noise) So even if you're in a noisy environment like this -- and we all spend a lot of time in places like this -- listen in the coffee bar to how many channels of sound can I hear? How many individual channels in that mix am I listening to? You can do it in a beautiful place as well, like in a lake. How many birds am I hearing? Where are they? Where are those ripples? It's a great exercise for improving the quality of your listening.
Se dyti, une e quaj kete mikser. (Zhurme) Pra, nese jeni ne nje ambjent te zhurmshem si kjo -- dhe qe ne te gjithe harxhojme shume kohe ne vende te tilla - perpiqu te degjosh ne kafene sa kanale tingujsh mund te degjosh? Sa kanale tingujsh ne ate miksture jam duke degjuar? Ju mund ta beni kete edhe ne nje vend te bukur, si pershembull ne liqen. Sa zogj jam duke degjuar? Ku jane ato? Ku jane keto gurgullima? Eshte nje ushtrim i mire per te permiresuar kualitetin e te degjuarit tend.
Third, this exercise I call "savoring," and this is a beautiful exercise. It's about enjoying mundane sounds. This, for example, is my tumble dryer.
Se treti, kete ushtrim e quaj te shijuarit, dhe ky eshte nje ushtrim i bukur. Eshte rreth te shijuarit e tingujve te perditshem. Kjo, pershembull, eshte tharsja e rrobave.
(Dryer)
(Tharsja) Eshte nje vals.
It's a waltz -- one, two, three; one, two, three; one, two, three. I love it! Or just try this one on for size.
Nje, dy, tre. Nje, dy, tre. Nje, dy, tre. E dashuroj kete. Ose vetem provojeni kete ne nje per cdo madhesi.
(Coffee grinder)
(Grirsja e kafes)
Wow! So, mundane sounds can be really interesting -- if you pay attention. I call that the "hidden choir" -- it's around us all the time.
Uau Kjo zhurme e perditshme nese i kushton vemendje eshte shume interesante. Une e quaj kete korin e fshehur. Eshte rreth nesh gjate gjithe kohes.
The next exercise is probably the most important of all of these, if you just take one thing away. This is listening positions -- the idea that you can move your listening position to what's appropriate to what you're listening to. This is playing with those filters. Remember I gave you those filters? It's starting to play with them as levers, to get conscious about them and to move to different places. These are just some of the listening positions, or scales of listening positions, that you can use. There are many. Have fun with that. It's very exciting.
Ushtrimi tjeter eshte ndoshta me e rendesishmja nga te gjitha, nese e merr vetem nga nje kendveshtrim i larget. Ky eshte pozicioni i te degjuarit -- ideja qe mund te ndryshosh pozicionin e te degjuarit per cfare eshte e pershtatshme rreth asaj qe je duke degjuar. Kjo eshte duke luajtur me keto filtra. I kujtoni, une ju'a dhashe keto filtra ne fillim. Eshte koha per te filluar per te luajtur me to si leva, per te qene te vetedijshem rreth tyre dhe per te levizur drejt vendeve te ndryshme. Keto jane vetem disa pozicione te te degjuarit, ose shkalle te pozicioneve degjuese, qe mund te perdorni. Ato jane shume. Argetohuni me to. Eshte shume emocionuese.
And finally, an acronym. You can use this in listening, in communication. If you're in any one of those roles -- and I think that probably is everybody who's listening to this talk -- the acronym is RASA, which is the Sanskrit word for "juice" or "essence." And RASA stands for "Receive," which means pay attention to the person; "Appreciate," making little noises like "hmm," "oh," "OK"; "Summarize" -- the word "so" is very important in communication; and "Ask," ask questions afterwards.
Dhe se fundmi, nje akronim. Ju mund ta perdorni kete ne degjim, ne komunikim. Nese jeni ne njeren prej ketyre roleve -- dhe une mendoj qe ndoshta eshte cdokush qe eshte duke degjuar kete fjalim -- akronimi eshte RASA, qe do te thote fjala Sanskrite per themel ose esence. Dhe RASA nenkupton Marrje qe do te thote kushtoji vemendje personit. Vleresoje, lesho tinguj te tille si "hmm", "oh," "ne rregull"; Per ta permbledhur, fjala "pra" ne komunikim eshte shume e rendesishme; dhe pyet, bej pyetje me pas.
Now sound is my passion, it's my life. I wrote a whole book about it. So I live to listen. That's too much to ask for most people. But I believe that every human being needs to listen consciously in order to live fully -- connected in space and in time to the physical world around us, connected in understanding to each other, not to mention spiritually connected, because every spiritual path I know of has listening and contemplation at its heart.
Tani tingulli eshte pasioni im, eshte jeta ime. Une kam shkruar nje liber te tere rreth kesaj. Une jetoj per te degjuar. Ka shume gjera per te pyetur ndaj shume njerezve. Por une besoj se cdo qenie njerezore ka nevoje te degjoje ne menyre te vetedijshme ne menyre qe te jetoje plotesisht -- lidhur me hapesiren dhe kohen me boten fizike rreth nesh, lidhur me te kuptuarit e njeri - tjetrit, pa permendur lidhjen shpirterore, sepse cdo rruge shpirterore qe une njoh ka te degjuarin dhe te menduarit ne bazen e saj.
That's why we need to teach listening in our schools as a skill. Why is it not taught? It's crazy. And if we can teach listening in our schools, we can take our listening off that slippery slope to that dangerous, scary world that I talked about, and move it to a place where everybody is consciously listening all the time, or at least capable of doing it.
Ja perse ne duhet t'ju mesojme te degjuarin ne shkollat tona si aftesi. Pse nuk eshte mesuar kjo? Eshte cmenduri. Dhe nese mund t'ju mesojme te degjuarit ne shkollat tona, ne mund ta marrim te degjuarin tone jashte asaj rreshqitese nga ajo bote e rrezikshme dhe e frikshme qe une permenda dhe zhvendosur ate ne nje vend ku cdo njeri me vetedije eshte duke degjuar ne te njejten kohe -- ose te pakten eshte i afte per ta bere ate.
Now, I don't know how to do that, but this is TED, and I think the TED community is capable of anything. So I invite you to connect with me, connect with each other, take this mission out. And let's get listening taught in schools, and transform the world in one generation to a conscious, listening world -- a world of connection, a world of understanding and a world of peace.
Une tani di si ta bej kete, por kjo eshte TED, dhe une mendoj qe komuniteti TED eshte i afte per cdo gje. Keshtu qe ju ftoj juve te vendosni kontakte me mua, te vendosni kontakte me njeri tjetrin, vereni ne zbatim kete mision dhe le ta bejme te degjuarin si mesim neper shkolla, dhe ta transformojme boten ne nje brez, ne nje bote me te vetedijshme te te degjuarit -- ne nje bote te kontaktimit, ne nje bote te te kuptuarit dhe drejt nje bote me paqe. Faleminderit qe me degjuat sot.
Thank you for listening to me today.
(Duartrokitje)
(Applause)