I have a daughter, Mulan. And when she was eight, last year, she was doing a report for school or she had some homework about frogs. And we were at this restaurant, and she said, "So, basically, frogs lay eggs and the eggs turn into tadpoles, and tadpoles turn into frogs."
Imam ćerku, zove se Mulan. I kada je imala osam godina, prošle godine, radila je izvještaj za školu ili je imala neki domaći zadatak o žabama. I bili smo u jednom restoranu, i ona je rekla: "Pa u suštini, žabe ležu jaja i jaja se pretvaraju u punoglavce, a punoglavci u žabe".
And I said, "Yeah. You know, I'm not really up on my frog reproduction that much. It's the females, I think, that lay the eggs, and then the males fertilize them. And then they become tadpoles and frogs."
Ja sam rekla: "Da. Znaš, ne znam baš mnogo o razmnožavanju žaba. Ako su ženke, mislim da ležu jaja, a mužjaci ih oplode. I tada oni postaju punoglavci i žabe."
And she says, "What? Only the females have eggs?"
A ona je rekla: "Šta? Samo ženke imaju jaja?"
And I said, "Yeah."
I ja sam rekla: "Da."
And she goes, "And what's this fertilizing?"
Ona je nastavila: "A šta je oplodnja?"
So I kind of said, "Oh, it's this extra ingredient, you know, that you need to create a new frog from the mom and dad frog." (Laughter)
Rekla sam joj: "Pa, to je dodatni sastojak, znaš, koji ti treba da bi napravili novu žabu od mame i tate žabe." (Smijeh)
And she said, "Oh, so is that true for humans too?"
Ona je rekla: "O, da li je to i za ljude tako?"
And I thought, "Okay, here we go." I didn't know it would happen so quick, at eight. I was trying to remember all the guidebooks, and all I could remember was, "Only answer the question they're asking. Don't give any more information." (Laughter) So I said, "Yes."
Pomislila sam: "U redu, evo ga." Nisam znala da će se desiti tako brzo, u osmoj godini. Pokušavala sam da se sjetim svih vodiča, i sve čega sam mogla da se sjetim, bilo je: "Samo odgovorite na pitanje koje vam postavljaju. Nemojte da odajete više informacija." (Smijeh) Tako da sam rekla: "Da."
And she said, "And where do, um, where do human women, like, where do women lay their eggs?"
I ona je rekla: "I gdje, hm, gdje žena, kao, gdje žena polaže jaja?"
And I said, "Well, funny you should ask. (Laughter) We have evolved to have our own pond. We have our very own pond inside our bodies. And we lay our eggs there, we don't have to worry about other eggs or anything like that. It's our own pond. And that's how it happens."
I ja sam joj rekla: "Pa, zanimljivo što pitaš. (Smijeh) Mi smo se razvili tako da imamo naše sopstveno jezerce. Imamo sopstveno jezerce u našim tijelima. I polažemo jaja tu, Ne moramo da brinemo o drugim jajima ili tome slično. To je naše jezerce. I tako se to dešava."
And she goes, "Then how do they get fertilized?"
Ali ona je nastavila: "Onda kako se oplode?"
And I said, "Well, Men, through their penis, they fertilize the eggs by the sperm coming out. And you go through the woman's vagina."
Rekla sam: "Pa, muškarci kroz svoj penis, oplode jaja spermom koja izlazi. I beba ide kroz ženinu vaginu."
And so we're just eating, and her jaw just drops, and she goes, "Mom! Like, where you go to the bathroom?"
I tako dok smo jeli, njena vilica je pala, i rekla je: "Mama! Kroz ono gdje piškiš?"
And I said, "I know. I know." (Laughter) That's how we evolved. It does seem odd. It is a little bit like having a waste treatment plant right next to an amusement park ... Bad zoning, but ..." (Laughter)
Rekla sam: "Znam. Znam." (Smijeh) Tako smo nastali. Čini se čudno. To je kao da imate postrojenje za odlaganje otpada odmah pored zabavnog parka ... Loša pozicija, ali ..." (Smijeh)
She's like, "What?" And she goes, "But Mom, but men and women can't ever see each other naked, Mom. So how could that ever happen?"
Ona odgovara: "Šta?" I nastavlja: "Ali, mama, ali muškarci i žene ne smiju da vide jedno drugo kada su goli, mama. Kako bi to moglo ikada da se desi?"
And then I go, "Well," and then I put my Margaret Mead hat on. "Human males and females develop a special bond, and when they're much older, much, much older than you, and they have a very special feeling, then they can be naked together."
Rekla sam joj: "Pa," i stavila šešir Margaret Mid. "Muškarci i žene su razvili posebnu vezu, i kada su mnogo stariji, mnogo mnogo stariji od tebe, imaju veoma poseban osjećaj, i tada mogu da budu goli zajedno."
And she said, "Mom, have you done this before?"
I ona je rekla: "Mama, da li si ti to radila nekada?"
And I said, "Yes."
Rekla sam joj: "Da."
And she said, "But Mom, you can't have kids." Because she knows that I adopted her and that I can't have kids.
I ona je odgovorila, "Ali, mama, ti ne možeš da imaš djecu." Zato što zna da sam je usvojila i da ne mogu da imam djecu.
And I said, "Yes."
Rekla sam joj: "Da."
And she said, "Well, you don't have to do that again."
Ona će: "Pa, ne moraš da radiš to opet."
And I said, "..."
Rekla sam: "..."
And then she said, "But how does it happen when a man and woman are together? Like, how do they know that's the time? Mom, does the man just say, 'Is now the time to take off my pants?'"
Tada je rekla: "Ali, šta se dešava kada su muškarac i žena zajedno? Kao, kada oni znaju da je vrijeme? Mama, da li muškarac samo kaže, 'Da li je sada vrijeme da skinem pantalone?"'
(Laughter)
(Smijeh)
And I said, "Yes." (Laughter) "That is exactly right. That's exactly how it happens."
Rekla sam: "Da." (Smijeh) "Upravo tako. Tačno se tako događa."
So we're driving home and she's looking out the window, and she goes, "Mom. What if two just people saw each other on the street, like a man and a woman, they just started doing it. Would that ever happen?"
Kada smo se vozile kući, gledala je kroz prozor i pitala me je: "Mama, šta ako se dvoje ljudi vidi na ulici, muškarac i žena, i počnu da rade to. Da li se to može desiti?"
And I said, "Oh, no. Humans are so private. Oh ..."
Odgovorila sam joj: "O, ne. Ljudi su diskretni. Oh..."
And then she goes, "What if there was like a party, and there was just like a whole bunch of girls and a whole bunch of boys, and there was a bunch of men and women and they just started doing it, Mom? Would that ever happen?"
Nastavljala je: "A šta ako je žurka, i tu je gomila djevojaka i gomila momaka, i tu je gomila muškaraca i žena, i oni počnu da rade to, mama?" Može li to da se desi?"
And I said, "Oh, no, no. That's not how we do it."
I rekla sam: "O, ne, ne. To ne radimo tako."
Then we got home and we see the cat. And she goes, "Mom, how do cats do it?"
Onda smo stigli kući i ugledali mačku. I pitala je: "Mama, kako to mačke rade?"
And I go, "Oh, it's the same. It's basically the same."
Rekla sam: "O, to je isto. U suštini je isto."
And then she got all caught up in the legs. "But how would the legs go, Mom? I don't understand the legs." She goes, "Mom, everyone can't do the splits."
A onda se odjednom zanimala za noge. "Ali kako se noge namjeste, mama? Ne razumijem gdje su noge." Kaže: "Mama, ne mogu svi napraviti špagu."
And I go, "I know, but the legs ..." and I'm probably like, "The legs get worked out."
Rekla sam joj: "Znam, ali noge..." i rekla sam: "Noge se nekako snađu."
And she goes, "But I just can't understand it."
I ona je nastavila: "Ali, jednostavno to ne mogu da razumijem."
So I go, "You know, why don't we go on the Internet, and maybe we can see ... like on Wikipedia." (Laughter)
Pa sam rekla: "Znaš, zašto ne bi smo otišli na internet, i možda da vidimo... na Vikipediji."
So we go online, and we put in "cats mating." And, unfortunately, on YouTube, there's many cats mating videos. And we watched them and I'm so thankful, because she's just like, "Wow! This is so amazing." She goes, "What about dogs?" So we put in dogs mating, and, you know, we're watching it, and she's totally absorbed.
Onda smo otišle na internet i upisale "parenje mačaka." I, nažalost, na Ju Tjubu, postoji mnogo snimaka o parenju mačaka. I pogledali smo ih, i mnogo sam zahvalna, jer je bila sva: "Vau! Ovo je nevjerovatno." Onda je pitala: "Šta je sa psima?" Onda smo potražili parenje pasa, i znate, gledale smo, i ona je sve upijala.
And then she goes, "Mom, do you think they would have, on the Internet, any humans mating?" (Laughter) And then I realized that I had taken my little eight year old's hand, and taken her right into Internet porn. (Laughter)
Onda je nastavila: "Mama, da li misliš da ima na internetu, kako se ljudi pare?" (Smijeh) Onda sam shvatila da sam uzela osmogodišnjakinju za ruku, i povela je pravo na internet pornografiju. (Smijeh)
And I looked into this trusting, loving face, and I said, "Oh, no. That would never happen."
I pogledala sam u ovo povjerljivo, voljeno lice i rekla, "O, ne. to se ne može dogoditi,"
Thank you.
Hvala vam.
(Applause)
(Aplauz)
Thank you.
Hvala vam.
(Applause)
(Aplauz)
Thank you. I'm so happy to be here.
Hvala vam. Srećna sam što sam ovdje.