I have a daughter, Mulan. And when she was eight, last year, she was doing a report for school or she had some homework about frogs. And we were at this restaurant, and she said, "So, basically, frogs lay eggs and the eggs turn into tadpoles, and tadpoles turn into frogs."
Imam ćerku, Mulan. I kada je imala osam godina, prošle godine, radila je seminarski rad za školu, ili neki domaći zadatak o žabama. Bili smo u jednom restoranu kada mi je rekla, "Dakle, zapravo, žabe ležu jaja, jaja se pretvore u punoglavce i punoglavci se pretvore u žabe."
And I said, "Yeah. You know, I'm not really up on my frog reproduction that much. It's the females, I think, that lay the eggs, and then the males fertilize them. And then they become tadpoles and frogs."
Odgovorila sam, "Da. Znaš, nisam baš upućena u razmnožavanje žaba. Mislim da ženke ležu jaja. I onda ih muškarci oplode. I onda oni postanu punoglavci i zatim žabe."
And she says, "What? Only the females have eggs?"
Onda je ona rekla, "Šta, samo ženke imaju jaja?".
And I said, "Yeah."
Odgovorila sam, "Da."
And she goes, "And what's this fertilizing?"
A ona je nastavila, "A šta je ta oplodnja?"
So I kind of said, "Oh, it's this extra ingredient, you know, that you need to create a new frog from the mom and dad frog." (Laughter)
Pa sam ja rekla nešto kao, "Oh, to je dodatni sastojak, koji je potreban da se stvori nova žaba od mame i tate žabe."
And she said, "Oh, so is that true for humans too?"
Zatim je rekla, "O, to važi i za ljude?"
And I thought, "Okay, here we go." I didn't know it would happen so quick, at eight. I was trying to remember all the guidebooks, and all I could remember was, "Only answer the question they're asking. Don't give any more information." (Laughter) So I said, "Yes."
I onda sam pomislila, "Ok, stigli smo i do toga." Nisam znala da će se desiti tako brzo, već u osmoj godini. Pokušavala sam da se prisetim svih priručnika, i sve što mi je padalo na pamet bilo je "Jedino odgovarajte na ono što vas pitaju Nikada ne dajte više informacija." Pa sam tako rekla, "Da".
And she said, "And where do, um, where do human women, like, where do women lay their eggs?"
A ona je pitala, "A gde, gde žene polažu jaja?"
And I said, "Well, funny you should ask. (Laughter) We have evolved to have our own pond. We have our very own pond inside our bodies. And we lay our eggs there, we don't have to worry about other eggs or anything like that. It's our own pond. And that's how it happens."
Odgovorila sam, "Pa, baš dobro što pitaš. Mi smo se razvili tako da imamo naše sopstveno jezerce. Naše jezero unutar našeg tela. I tamo polažemo svoja jaja. Tako da ne moramo da brinemo o drugim jajima ili bilo čemu sličnom. To je naše lično jezero. I tako se to desi."
And she goes, "Then how do they get fertilized?"
Na to će ona, "A kako se oplode?"
And I said, "Well, Men, through their penis, they fertilize the eggs by the sperm coming out. And you go through the woman's vagina."
Moj odgovor, "Pa, muškarci, kroz svoj penis, oplode jaja spermom koja izlazi napolje. I beba izađe kroz žensku vaginu."
And so we're just eating, and her jaw just drops, and she goes, "Mom! Like, where you go to the bathroom?"
I u sred ručka, njena vilica se oklembesila, i uzviknula je, "Mama! To je ono gde piškiš?"
And I said, "I know. I know." (Laughter) That's how we evolved. It does seem odd. It is a little bit like having a waste treatment plant right next to an amusement park ... Bad zoning, but ..." (Laughter)
A ja sam rekla, "Znam. Znam." (Smeh) Tako smo se razvili. Stvarno izgleda čudno. Kao da se postrojenje za kanalizaciju nalazi odmah pored luna parka. Loše pozicioniranje. Ali...
She's like, "What?" And she goes, "But Mom, but men and women can't ever see each other naked, Mom. So how could that ever happen?"
Ona odgovara, "Šta?" i nastavlja, "Ali mama, muškarci i ženene ne smeju nikada videti jedno drugo goli, mama. Kako se to uopšte onda ikada desi?"
And then I go, "Well," and then I put my Margaret Mead hat on. "Human males and females develop a special bond, and when they're much older, much, much older than you, and they have a very special feeling, then they can be naked together."
Onda sam stavila moj Margaret Mid šešir. "Muškarci i žene razviju posebnu vezu, i kada su mnogo stariji, mnogo, mnogo stariji od tebe, imaju specijalna osećanja, i onda mogu da budu zajedno goli."
And she said, "Mom, have you done this before?"
Ona će na to, "Mama, da li si ti to uradila nekada?"
And I said, "Yes."
Rekla sam, "Da."
And she said, "But Mom, you can't have kids." Because she knows that I adopted her and that I can't have kids.
A ona je odgovorila, "Ali mama, ti ne možeš da imaš decu." Jer zna da sam je usvojila i da ne mogu da imam dece.
And I said, "Yes."
Ja sam rekla, "Da."
And she said, "Well, you don't have to do that again."
Ona će, "Pa, barem ne moraš da to radiš ponovo."
And I said, "..."
Na šta sam ja rekla, "...."
And then she said, "But how does it happen when a man and woman are together? Like, how do they know that's the time? Mom, does the man just say, 'Is now the time to take off my pants?'"
A onda je pitala, "Ali kako se to dogodi kad su muškarac i žena zajedno? Na primer, kako znaju kada je vreme za to? Da li muškarac samo kaže, "Da li je vreme da skinem pantalone?"
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
And I said, "Yes." (Laughter) "That is exactly right. That's exactly how it happens."
I ja sam rekla, "Da." (Smeh) "To je tačno. Tačno tako se desi."
So we're driving home and she's looking out the window, and she goes, "Mom. What if two just people saw each other on the street, like a man and a woman, they just started doing it. Would that ever happen?"
Onda smo se vozile kući, a ona je gledala kroz prozor i pitala me, "Mama, šta ako se dvoje ljudi vide na ulici, znaš, muškarac i žena, i počnu to da rade. Da li se to ikada desi?"
And I said, "Oh, no. Humans are so private. Oh ..."
A ja sam rekla, "Ne, ljudi su veoma diskretni. Ne."
And then she goes, "What if there was like a party, and there was just like a whole bunch of girls and a whole bunch of boys, and there was a bunch of men and women and they just started doing it, Mom? Would that ever happen?"
Ubrzo zatim: "Šta ako su na primer na žurci. Sa mnogo devojka i mnogo momaka. I mnogo devojaka i momaka tek tako počnu to da rade? Da li postoji mogućnost da se to desi, mama?"
And I said, "Oh, no, no. That's not how we do it."
A ja sam rekla, "Ne, ne." "Nikada to ne radimo tako."
Then we got home and we see the cat. And she goes, "Mom, how do cats do it?"
Onda smo stigle kući i videle mačku. I eto nje, "Mama, a kako to rade mačke?"
And I go, "Oh, it's the same. It's basically the same."
I ja kažem, "O, sve isto. U suštini je potpuno isto."
And then she got all caught up in the legs. "But how would the legs go, Mom? I don't understand the legs." She goes, "Mom, everyone can't do the splits."
A onda se ona zaintrigirala po pitanju nogu. "Ali mama, gde budu noge, Ne razumem šta bude sa nogama." I dodaje, "Mama, pa ne može svako da napravi špagu".
And I go, "I know, but the legs ..." and I'm probably like, "The legs get worked out."
I ja počnem, "Znam, ali noge..." "Noge se već nekako snađu."
And she goes, "But I just can't understand it."
Ona dodaje, "Ali ne razumem."
So I go, "You know, why don't we go on the Internet, and maybe we can see ... like on Wikipedia." (Laughter)
Onda sam predložila, "Znaš, zašto ne pogledamo na internetu, i možda možemo da vidimo...na Vikipediji".
So we go online, and we put in "cats mating." And, unfortunately, on YouTube, there's many cats mating videos. And we watched them and I'm so thankful, because she's just like, "Wow! This is so amazing." She goes, "What about dogs?" So we put in dogs mating, and, you know, we're watching it, and she's totally absorbed.
Tako smo potražile na netu parenje mačaka. I, nažalost, na Jutjubu ima mnogo klipova sa parenjem mačaka. Gledale smo ih, i jako sam zahvalna, jer je ona samo govorila, "Uau, ovo je neverovatno." Ali onda je pitala, "A šta je sa psima?". Tako smo pronašle parenje pasa i znate, gledale smo to, i ona je sve potpuno upijala.
And then she goes, "Mom, do you think they would have, on the Internet, any humans mating?" (Laughter) And then I realized that I had taken my little eight year old's hand, and taken her right into Internet porn. (Laughter)
Ali onda me je pitala, "Mama, da li misliš da imaju na internetu parenje ljudi?" (Smeh) I onda sam shvatila da sam uzela za ruku moju malenu osmogodišnjakinju i povela je u svet internet pornografije.
And I looked into this trusting, loving face, and I said, "Oh, no. That would never happen."
Pogledala sam u to voljeno lice i rekla "Ne, toga nema."
Thank you.
Hvala vam.
(Applause)
(Aplauz)
Thank you.
Hvala vam.
(Applause)
(Aplauz)
Thank you. I'm so happy to be here.
Hvala sam. Srećna sam što sam ovde.