I have a daughter, Mulan. And when she was eight, last year, she was doing a report for school or she had some homework about frogs. And we were at this restaurant, and she said, "So, basically, frogs lay eggs and the eggs turn into tadpoles, and tadpoles turn into frogs."
Une kam nje vajze, Mulan. Dhe kur ajo ishte tete, vitin e kaluar, ajo ishte duke bere nje raport per shkollen ose kishte disa detyra rreth bretkosave. Dhe ne ishim tek ky restoranti, dhe ajo tha, "Pra, ne thelb, bretkosat leshojne veze dhe vezet kthehen ne fazen larvore, dhe larvat kthehen ne bretkosa."
And I said, "Yeah. You know, I'm not really up on my frog reproduction that much. It's the females, I think, that lay the eggs, and then the males fertilize them. And then they become tadpoles and frogs."
Dhe une i them, "Yeh. Ju e dini, une nuk jam shume per te te thene rreth riprodhimit te bretkosave. Jane femrat, une mendoj, qe ato leshojne veze, dhe me pas meshkujt i fekondojne ato. Dhe me pas ato kthehen ne larva dhe ne bretkosa."
And she says, "What? Only the females have eggs?"
Dhe ajo thote, "Cfare? Vetem femrat kane veze?"
And I said, "Yeah."
Dhe une i pergjigjem, "Yeh."
And she goes, "And what's this fertilizing?"
Dhe me pas ajo vazhdon, "Dhe cfare eshte ky fekondimi?"
So I kind of said, "Oh, it's this extra ingredient, you know, that you need to create a new frog from the mom and dad frog." (Laughter)
Dhe une pak a shume i them, "Oh, eshte ky perberes shtese, e ke parasysh, qe ti ke nevoje per te krijuar nje bretkose te re nga bretkosa mama dhe baba." (Te qeshura)
And she said, "Oh, so is that true for humans too?"
Dhe ajo thote. "Oh, domethene qe kjo eshte e vertete dhe per njerezit?"
And I thought, "Okay, here we go." I didn't know it would happen so quick, at eight. I was trying to remember all the guidebooks, and all I could remember was, "Only answer the question they're asking. Don't give any more information." (Laughter) So I said, "Yes."
Dhe une mendova, "Ne rregull, ja ku arritem." Nuk e mendoja qe do te ndodhte kaq shpejt, ne moshen tete vjecare. Po mundohesha te kujtoja te gjithe ato libra udhezues, dhe gjithcka qe me kujtohej ishte, "Vetem pergjigju pyetjeve qe ata pyesin. Mos jep me shume informacione." (Te qeshura) Keshtu qe une i thashe, "Po."
And she said, "And where do, um, where do human women, like, where do women lay their eggs?"
Dhe ajo thote, "Dhe, ku do, em, ku femrat si qenie humane, si, ku femrat i vendosin vezet e tyre?"
And I said, "Well, funny you should ask. (Laughter) We have evolved to have our own pond. We have our very own pond inside our bodies. And we lay our eggs there, we don't have to worry about other eggs or anything like that. It's our own pond. And that's how it happens."
Dhe une i them, "Epo, qesharake qe pyet. (Te qeshura) Ne kemi evoluar per te patur pellgjet tona. Ne kemi pellgjet tona brenda trupave tane. Dhe ne i vendosim aty vezet tona, ne nuk kemi pse te shqetesohemi rreth vezeve te tjere apo cdo gjeje tjeter si kjo. Eshte pellgu jone. Dhe kjo eshte sesi ajo ndodh."
And she goes, "Then how do they get fertilized?"
Dhe ajo vazhdon, "Po si konfondohen ato me pas?"
And I said, "Well, Men, through their penis, they fertilize the eggs by the sperm coming out. And you go through the woman's vagina."
Dhe une i them, "Epo, Meshkujt, nepermjet penisit te tyre, fekondojne vezet nepermjet spermes qe leshojne. Dhe ajo shkon nepermjet vagines se gruas."
And so we're just eating, and her jaw just drops, and she goes, "Mom! Like, where you go to the bathroom?"
Dhe ne ishim duke ngrene, dhe nofulla e saj rreshkiti, dhe tha, "Maa! Si pershembull, kur shkon ne banjo?"
And I said, "I know. I know." (Laughter) That's how we evolved. It does seem odd. It is a little bit like having a waste treatment plant right next to an amusement park ... Bad zoning, but ..." (Laughter)
Dhe une i thashe, "E di. E di." (Te qeshura) Kjo eshte menyra sesi ne evolojme. Duket e cuditshme. Duket pak sikur te kesh nje trajtim te mbeturinave bimore mu ngjitur me nje park lojerash ... Zone e keqe, por...." (Te qeshura)
She's like, "What?" And she goes, "But Mom, but men and women can't ever see each other naked, Mom. So how could that ever happen?"
Ajo reagon, "Cfare?" Dhe me pas vazhdon, "Por Ma, por burrat dhe grate nuk e shohin kurre njeri - tjetrin te zhveshur. Pra si mundet qe kjo te ndodh?"
And then I go, "Well," and then I put my Margaret Mead hat on. "Human males and females develop a special bond, and when they're much older, much, much older than you, and they have a very special feeling, then they can be naked together."
Dhe me pas une vazhdoj, "Epo," dhe me pas une ve kapelen time Margaret Mead. "Qeniet njerezore meshkuj dhe femra zhvillojne nje lidhje te vecante, dhe kur ato jane shume te vjeter, shume, shume te vjeter, dhe ato kane nje ndjenje shume te vecante, atehere ato mund ta zhveshin njeri - tjetrin."
And she said, "Mom, have you done this before?"
Dhe ajo pergjigjet, "Maa, e ke bere ti kete gje perpara?"
And I said, "Yes."
Dhe une i them, "Po."
And she said, "But Mom, you can't have kids." Because she knows that I adopted her and that I can't have kids.
Dhe ajo thote, "Por ma, ti s'mund te kesh femije." Sepse ajo e di qe une e kam asoptuar ate dhe une s'mund te kem femije.
And I said, "Yes."
Dhe une i them, "Po."
And she said, "Well, you don't have to do that again."
Dhe ajo thote, "Epo, ti ske pse ta besh kete perseri."
And I said, "..."
Dhe une i them, "..."
And then she said, "But how does it happen when a man and woman are together? Like, how do they know that's the time? Mom, does the man just say, 'Is now the time to take off my pants?'"
Dhe me pas ajo thote, "Por si ndodh kjo kur nje burre dhe nje grua jane bashke? Si pershembull, si e dine ato qe eshte koha e pershtatshme? Ma, a thote burri vetem, 'Eshte tani koha per te hequr pantallonat e mia?"
(Laughter)
(Te qeshura)
And I said, "Yes." (Laughter) "That is exactly right. That's exactly how it happens."
Dhe une i them, "Po." (Te qeshura) "Kjo eshte pikerisht e vertete. Kjo eshte tamam ashtu sic ndodh."
So we're driving home and she's looking out the window, and she goes, "Mom. What if two just people saw each other on the street, like a man and a woman, they just started doing it. Would that ever happen?"
Ne ishim duke u kthyer per ne shtepi me makine dhe ajo eshte duke pare jashte dritares, dhe thote, "Maa. Po sikur dy njerez sapo pane njeri tjetrin ne rruge, si nje burre dhe nje grua, ato filluan te benin ate. A mund te ndodhe kjo?"
And I said, "Oh, no. Humans are so private. Oh ..."
Dhe une i them, "Oh, jo. Njerezit jane shume privat. Oh..."
And then she goes, "What if there was like a party, and there was just like a whole bunch of girls and a whole bunch of boys, and there was a bunch of men and women and they just started doing it, Mom? Would that ever happen?"
Dhe me pas ajo thote, "Po sikur atje mami te ishte feste, dhe atje te kishte nje grup te tere vajzash dhe nje grup te tere meshkujsh, dhe atje kishte nje grup te tere me burre dhe gra dhe ato filluan ta benin ate? A mund te ndodhe kjo?
And I said, "Oh, no, no. That's not how we do it."
Dhe une i them, "Oh, jo, jo. Nuk eshte kjo menyra sesi ne e bejme ate."
Then we got home and we see the cat. And she goes, "Mom, how do cats do it?"
Me pas ne shkojme ne shtepi dhe shohim macen. Dhe ajo vazhdon, "Ma, po macet si e bejne?"
And I go, "Oh, it's the same. It's basically the same."
Dhe une i them. "Oh, eshte e njejta. Ne themel eshte e njejta."
And then she got all caught up in the legs. "But how would the legs go, Mom? I don't understand the legs." She goes, "Mom, everyone can't do the splits."
Dhe me pas ajo kapet pas ceshtjes se kembeve. "Po kembet si shkojne, Ma? Une nuk i kuptoj kembet." Ajo vazhdon, "Ma, cdokush nuk mund ta bej ndarjen."
And I go, "I know, but the legs ..." and I'm probably like, "The legs get worked out."
Dhe vazhdoj, "E di, por kembet..." dhe une jam paksa si, "Kembet punojne jashte."
And she goes, "But I just can't understand it."
Dhe ajo vazhdon, "Por une s'mund ta kuptoj kete."
So I go, "You know, why don't we go on the Internet, and maybe we can see ... like on Wikipedia." (Laughter)
Keshtu qe une i them, "E di cfare, pse nuk shkojme ne internet, dhe ndoshta mund te shohim.... si pershembull ne Wikipedia." (Te qeshura)
So we go online, and we put in "cats mating." And, unfortunately, on YouTube, there's many cats mating videos. And we watched them and I'm so thankful, because she's just like, "Wow! This is so amazing." She goes, "What about dogs?" So we put in dogs mating, and, you know, we're watching it, and she's totally absorbed.
Keshtu qe ne shkojme online, dhe klikojme tek "bashkimi i maceve." Dhe, fatkeqsisht, ne YouTube, ka shume vidio te bashkimit te maceve. Dhe ne i pame ato dhe une jam shume mirenjohese, sepse ajo reagon, "Uau! Kjo eshte e mrekullueshme." Me pas vazhdon, "Po rreth qenve?" Keshtu qe ajo klikon tek bashkimi i qenve, dhe, ne jemi duke e pare ate, dhe ajo eshte plotesisht e zhytur.
And then she goes, "Mom, do you think they would have, on the Internet, any humans mating?" (Laughter) And then I realized that I had taken my little eight year old's hand, and taken her right into Internet porn. (Laughter)
Dhe me pas vazhdon, "Maa, mendon qe mund te kene, ne internet, ndonje bashkim te njerezve?" (Te qeshura) Dhe me pas une kuptova qe une kisha marre per dore vajzen time tete vjecare, dhe derguar ate drejt e ne pornografine ne internet .(Te qeshura)
And I looked into this trusting, loving face, and I said, "Oh, no. That would never happen."
Dhe une pashe brenda asaj fytyre besuese, te dashur, dhe thashe, "Oh, jo. Kjo nuk mund te ndodhe kurre."
Thank you.
Ju faleminderit.
(Applause)
(Duartrokitje)
Thank you.
Ju faleminderit.
(Applause)
(Duartrokitje)
Thank you. I'm so happy to be here.
Faleminderit. Jam shume e lumtur qe jam ketu.