I have a daughter, Mulan. And when she was eight, last year, she was doing a report for school or she had some homework about frogs. And we were at this restaurant, and she said, "So, basically, frogs lay eggs and the eggs turn into tadpoles, and tadpoles turn into frogs."
Imam hčerko Mulan. In ko je bila lansko leto stara osem let, je za šolo pripravljala poročilo oziroma je imela domačo nalogo o žabah. Bili sva v neki restavraciji, ko je rekla: "Torej, v bistvu žabe izležejo jajčeca in jajčeca se spremenijo v paglavce, paglavci pa v žabe."
And I said, "Yeah. You know, I'm not really up on my frog reproduction that much. It's the females, I think, that lay the eggs, and then the males fertilize them. And then they become tadpoles and frogs."
Odgovorila sem: "Veš, nisem najbolj na tekočem glede razmnoževanja žab. Mislim, da so samice tiste, ki ležejo jajčeca, in potem jih samci oplodijo. In potem se razvijejo v paglavce in žabe."
And she says, "What? Only the females have eggs?"
In vpraša: "Kaj? Imajo samo samice jajčeca?"
And I said, "Yeah."
Odgovorila sem: "Ja."
And she goes, "And what's this fertilizing?"
Pa nadaljuje: "In kaj je to oplojevanje?"
So I kind of said, "Oh, it's this extra ingredient, you know, that you need to create a new frog from the mom and dad frog." (Laughter)
Rekla sem: "Ah, to je ena dodatna sestavina, veš, ki jo potrebuješ, da narediš novo žabo iz mame žabe in očeta žabca." In rekla je: "A to drži tudi za ljudi?"
And she said, "Oh, so is that true for humans too?"
And I thought, "Okay, here we go." I didn't know it would happen so quick, at eight. I was trying to remember all the guidebooks, and all I could remember was, "Only answer the question they're asking. Don't give any more information." (Laughter) So I said, "Yes."
In sem si mislila: "Ok, pa smo tam." Nisem vedela, da se bo to zgodilo že pri osmih. Poskušala sem se spomniti vseh vodičev in spomnila sem se samo tega: "Odgovori samo na vprašanje, ki ga postavljajo. Ne dajaj dodatnih informacij." (smeh) Tako sem odvrnila: "Ja."
And she said, "And where do, um, where do human women, like, where do women lay their eggs?"
Pa je vprašala: "In kje, em, kje človeške ženske, kje ženske ležejo svoja jajčeca?"
And I said, "Well, funny you should ask. (Laughter) We have evolved to have our own pond. We have our very own pond inside our bodies. And we lay our eggs there, we don't have to worry about other eggs or anything like that. It's our own pond. And that's how it happens."
In sem rekla: "No, zanimivo, da vprašaš." (smeh) "Razvile smo se tako, da imamo svoj lasten ribnik. Imamo svoj ribnik v svojih telesih. In svoja jajčeca ležemo tam, ni nas treba skrbeti zaradi tujih jajčec ali česa podobnega. Je naš lasten ribnik. In tako se to dogaja."
And she goes, "Then how do they get fertilized?"
In nadaljuje: "Kako pa se oplodijo?"
And I said, "Well, Men, through their penis, they fertilize the eggs by the sperm coming out. And you go through the woman's vagina."
In ji povem: "Torej, moški, skozi svoj penis, oplodijo jajčeca s spermo, ki pride ven. Ti pa potem prideš skozi žensko vagino."
And so we're just eating, and her jaw just drops, and she goes, "Mom! Like, where you go to the bathroom?"
In tako medtem ko jeva, njena čeljust kar pade in pravi: "Mama! Od tam, kjer lulamo?"
And I said, "I know. I know." (Laughter) That's how we evolved. It does seem odd. It is a little bit like having a waste treatment plant right next to an amusement park ... Bad zoning, but ..." (Laughter)
In ji rečem: "Vem, vem." (smeh) Tako smo se razvile. Res se zdi čudno. Je nekako tako, kot da bi imeli tovarno za predelavo odpadkov čisto zraven zabaviščnega parka... Slabo pozicioniranje, toda..." (smeh)
She's like, "What?" And she goes, "But Mom, but men and women can't ever see each other naked, Mom. So how could that ever happen?"
In vpraša: "Kaj?" In nadaljuje: "Ampak mama! Moški in ženske eni drugih ne smejo videti nagih, mama. Kako se lahko to potem sploh zgodi?"
And then I go, "Well," and then I put my Margaret Mead hat on. "Human males and females develop a special bond, and when they're much older, much, much older than you, and they have a very special feeling, then they can be naked together."
In rečem: "Torej," kot da bi bila Margaret Mead. "Človeški samci in samice razvijejo posebno vez in ko so mnogo starejši, mnogo, mnogo starejši kot ti in imajo poseben občutek, takrat so lahko goli skupaj."
And she said, "Mom, have you done this before?"
In me vpraša: "Mama, si ti tudi že to počela?"
And I said, "Yes."
In ji povem: "Ja."
And she said, "But Mom, you can't have kids." Because she knows that I adopted her and that I can't have kids.
In reče: "Ampak mama, ti ne moreš imeti otrok." Ker ve, da je posvojena in da ne morem imeti otrok. In rečem: "Ja."
And I said, "Yes."
In pravi: "No, tega ti ni treba več početi."
And she said, "Well, you don't have to do that again."
And I said, "..."
In rečem: "..."
And then she said, "But how does it happen when a man and woman are together? Like, how do they know that's the time? Mom, does the man just say, 'Is now the time to take off my pants?'"
Potem vpraša: "Kako pa se zgodi, ko sta moški in ženska skupaj? Mislim, kako vesta, da je čas za to? Mama, ali moški kar reče: 'Je zdaj čas, da slečem hlače?'"
(Laughter)
(smeh)
And I said, "Yes." (Laughter) "That is exactly right. That's exactly how it happens."
In ji rečem: "Ja." (smeh) "Točno tako. Točno tako se zgodi."
So we're driving home and she's looking out the window, and she goes, "Mom. What if two just people saw each other on the street, like a man and a woman, they just started doing it. Would that ever happen?"
In potem se peljeva domov in gleda skozi okno, ko spet vpraša: "Mama, kaj če se dva človeka srečata na ulici, moški in ženska in kar začneta to početi. Se to lahko zgodi?"
And I said, "Oh, no. Humans are so private. Oh ..."
In ji rečem: "O, ne. Ljudje to počnemo v zasebnosti. Ne..."
And then she goes, "What if there was like a party, and there was just like a whole bunch of girls and a whole bunch of boys, and there was a bunch of men and women and they just started doing it, Mom? Would that ever happen?"
In nadaljuje: "Kaj pa, če bi bila zabava in bi bilo mnogo deklet in mnogo fantov in mnogo moških in žensk in bi kar začeli to početi? Se to lahko zgodi?"
And I said, "Oh, no, no. That's not how we do it."
In odgovorim: "O, ne, ne. Tega ne delamo tako."
Then we got home and we see the cat. And she goes, "Mom, how do cats do it?"
Potem pa prispeva domov in vidiva mačko. In že vpraša: "Mama, kako pa mačke to počnejo?"
And I go, "Oh, it's the same. It's basically the same."
In ji povem: "V bistvu je enako."
And then she got all caught up in the legs. "But how would the legs go, Mom? I don't understand the legs." She goes, "Mom, everyone can't do the splits."
In potem se je zataknila pri nogah. "Kam pa gredo noge, mama? Ne razumem, kako je z nogami." In reče: "Mama, ne znajo vsi narediti špage."
And I go, "I know, but the legs ..." and I'm probably like, "The legs get worked out."
In ji rečem: "Vem, ampak noge..." in verjetno rečem: "Z nogami se že znajdemo."
And she goes, "But I just can't understand it."
In nadaljuje: "Ampak ne razumem."
So I go, "You know, why don't we go on the Internet, and maybe we can see ... like on Wikipedia." (Laughter)
In rečem: "Veš, kaj če greva kar na internet in mogoče bova lahko videli... recimo na Wikipediji." (smeh)
So we go online, and we put in "cats mating." And, unfortunately, on YouTube, there's many cats mating videos. And we watched them and I'm so thankful, because she's just like, "Wow! This is so amazing." She goes, "What about dogs?" So we put in dogs mating, and, you know, we're watching it, and she's totally absorbed.
Tako greva na splet in vpiševa "parjenje mačk." In na žalost je na YouTubu mnogo posnetkov parjenja mačk. Pa sva jih gledali in sem zelo hvaležna, ker je govorila: "Uau! To je tako neverjetno." In vpraša: "Kaj pa psi?" In sva vnesli "parjenje psov" in, veste, gledava to in čisto jo posrka.
And then she goes, "Mom, do you think they would have, on the Internet, any humans mating?" (Laughter) And then I realized that I had taken my little eight year old's hand, and taken her right into Internet porn. (Laughter)
Potem pa vpraša: "Mama, misliš, da imajo na internetu tudi parjenje ljudi?" (smeh) In takrat sem spoznala, da sem prijela svojo osemletnico za roko in jo popeljala naravnost v internetno pornografijo.
And I looked into this trusting, loving face, and I said, "Oh, no. That would never happen."
Pogledala sem jo v njen zaupljiv, ljubeč obraz in rekla: "Oh, ne. To se ne more zgoditi."
Thank you.
Hvala.
(Applause)
(aplavz)
Thank you.
Hvala.
(Applause)
(aplavz)
Thank you. I'm so happy to be here.
Hvala. Vesela sem, da sem tukaj.