I have a daughter, Mulan. And when she was eight, last year, she was doing a report for school or she had some homework about frogs. And we were at this restaurant, and she said, "So, basically, frogs lay eggs and the eggs turn into tadpoles, and tadpoles turn into frogs."
Mám dcéru, Mulan. A keď mala osem rokov, pred rokom, pracovala na jednom referáte do školy alebo mala vlastne nejakú úlohu o žabách. A tak sme si sedeli v jednej reštaurácii, a zrazu mi hovorí, "Takže, v zásade, žaby kladú vajíčka a z vajíčok sa potom stávajú žubrienky a zo žubrienok sa potom stávajú žaby."
And I said, "Yeah. You know, I'm not really up on my frog reproduction that much. It's the females, I think, that lay the eggs, and then the males fertilize them. And then they become tadpoles and frogs."
A ja na to: "Vieš, ja o žabej reprodukcii až toľko neviem. Myslím si, že samičky sú tie, čo nakladú vajíčka a že potom ich samčekovia oplodnia. A potom sa z nich stanú neskôr žubrienky a žaby."
And she says, "What? Only the females have eggs?"
A ona na to: "Čože? Iba samičky majú vajíčka?"
And I said, "Yeah."
A ja na to: "Jasné."
And she goes, "And what's this fertilizing?"
A ona na to: "A čo je vlastne to oplodňovanie?"
So I kind of said, "Oh, it's this extra ingredient, you know, that you need to create a new frog from the mom and dad frog." (Laughter)
Takže som jej tak nejak povedala: "Oh, existuje taká špeciálna ingrediencia, vieš, ktorá slúži na to, aby vznikla nová žabka z mamy žaby a otca žabiaka." (Smiech)
And she said, "Oh, so is that true for humans too?"
A ona na to: "Aha, a platí to aj pre ľudí?"
And I thought, "Okay, here we go." I didn't know it would happen so quick, at eight. I was trying to remember all the guidebooks, and all I could remember was, "Only answer the question they're asking. Don't give any more information." (Laughter) So I said, "Yes."
A tak som si pomyslela: "Tak už to tu máme." Nikdy by som si nepomyslela, že to príde tak skoro, v jej ôsmich rokoch. Snažila som si spomenúť na to, čo sa píše vo všetkých príručkách a jediné, na čo som bola schopná si spomenúť, bolo: "Zodpovedajte iba na otázky, na ktoré sa vás pýtajú. Nepodávajte im žiadne ďalšie informácie." (Smiech) A tak som jej odpovedala: "Áno."
And she said, "And where do, um, where do human women, like, where do women lay their eggs?"
A ona na to: "Hmm, a kam vlastne ľudské samičky akože ženy, kladú vajíčka?
And I said, "Well, funny you should ask. (Laughter) We have evolved to have our own pond. We have our very own pond inside our bodies. And we lay our eggs there, we don't have to worry about other eggs or anything like that. It's our own pond. And that's how it happens."
A ja na to: "Hmm, zaujímavé, že sa na to pýtaš. (Smiech) My sme si vyvinuli taký vlastný rybníček. Máme taký vlastný rybníček priamo v našich telách. A kladieme si tam vajíčka sami, nemusíme riešiť vajíčka iných ani nič také. Je to náš vlastný rybníček. A tak to vlastne je."
And she goes, "Then how do they get fertilized?"
A ona na to: "A tak potom, ako sa vlastne tie vajíčka oplodnia?"
And I said, "Well, Men, through their penis, they fertilize the eggs by the sperm coming out. And you go through the woman's vagina."
A ja na to: "Tak to máš tak, muži, pomocou penisu oplodnia vajíčka spermiami, ktoré z neho vychádzajú. A to sa vlastne deje cez ženskú vagínu."
And so we're just eating, and her jaw just drops, and she goes, "Mom! Like, where you go to the bathroom?"
Práve vtedy sme obedovali a zrazu jej spadla sánka, a ona na to: "Mamí! To akože tade, kde chodíme na záchod?"
And I said, "I know. I know." (Laughter) That's how we evolved. It does seem odd. It is a little bit like having a waste treatment plant right next to an amusement park ... Bad zoning, but ..." (Laughter)
A ja som povedala: "Tak to už bude. Tak to už bude." (Smiech) Takto sme sa vyvinuli. Viem, že to znie divne. Je to ako mať skládku odpadu vedľa zábavného parku ... Trošku zlá lokalizácia, ale ... (smiech)
She's like, "What?" And she goes, "But Mom, but men and women can't ever see each other naked, Mom. So how could that ever happen?"
A ona na to: "Cože?" a pokračuje, "Ale mami, veď muž a žena sa predsa nemôžu vidieť nahí, však, mami. Tak ako sa to všetko vlastne môže stať?
And then I go, "Well," and then I put my Margaret Mead hat on. "Human males and females develop a special bond, and when they're much older, much, much older than you, and they have a very special feeling, then they can be naked together."
A tak som jej odpovedala: "Vieš", a tak som si nasadila môj klobúk Margaret Meadovej (známa americká antropologička). "Keď ľudskí samčekovia a samičky vytvoria medzi sebou špeciálne puto, a keď sú oveľa oveľa oveľa starší než si ty teraz a cítia k sebe špeciálne city, potom spolu môžu byť aj nahí."
And she said, "Mom, have you done this before?"
A na to sa spýtala,: "Mami, ty už si to niekedy spravila?"
And I said, "Yes."
A na to som odpovedala: "Áno."
And she said, "But Mom, you can't have kids." Because she knows that I adopted her and that I can't have kids.
A ona na to: "Ale mami, veď ty predsa deti mať nemôžeš." Ona vie, že som si ju adoptovala a že nemôžem mať deti.
And I said, "Yes."
A na to som jej odpovedala: "Áno."
And she said, "Well, you don't have to do that again."
A tak mi odvetí: "No, aspoň to už nemusíš viac robiť."
And I said, "..."
A ja na to: "..."
And then she said, "But how does it happen when a man and woman are together? Like, how do they know that's the time? Mom, does the man just say, 'Is now the time to take off my pants?'"
A hneď na to sa spýtala: "A ako sa to vlastne odohráva, keď sú spolu muž a žena? Akože, ako vedia, že nastal ten správny čas? Mami, je to tak, že muž jednoducho povie: "Je čas si dať dole nohavice?"
(Laughter)
(Smiech)
And I said, "Yes." (Laughter) "That is exactly right. That's exactly how it happens."
A ja na to: "Áno." (Smiech) "Tak to presne je. Tak sa to presne odohráva."
So we're driving home and she's looking out the window, and she goes, "Mom. What if two just people saw each other on the street, like a man and a woman, they just started doing it. Would that ever happen?"
A tak si ideme domov autom a ona sa pozerá z okna a povie: "Mami, čo ak by sa dvaja ľudia len tak stretli na ulici, akože muž a žena, a začali by to robiť. Bolo by to možné?"
And I said, "Oh, no. Humans are so private. Oh ..."
A ja na to: "Ale nie, ľudia sú oveľa diskrétnejší. Aha ..."
And then she goes, "What if there was like a party, and there was just like a whole bunch of girls and a whole bunch of boys, and there was a bunch of men and women and they just started doing it, Mom? Would that ever happen?"
A potom povedala: "A ak by boli na večierku a boli by tam celé skupiny dievčat a chlapcov. a mužov a žien a začali to robiť? Mohlo by sa to stať?"
And I said, "Oh, no, no. That's not how we do it."
A ja jej na to: "Ale nie, to určite nie. Tak to predsa ako ľudia nerobíme."
Then we got home and we see the cat. And she goes, "Mom, how do cats do it?"
A tak sme sa vrátili domov a vidíme mačku. A ona mi vraví: "Mami, ale ako to robia mačky?"
And I go, "Oh, it's the same. It's basically the same."
A ja na to: "Ale predsa tak isto, je to v podstate to isté ako ostatní."
And then she got all caught up in the legs. "But how would the legs go, Mom? I don't understand the legs." She goes, "Mom, everyone can't do the splits."
A potom ju zaujala strašne téma nôh. "Ale ako si tá mačka dá teda tie nohy, mami? Nechápem to s tými nohami." A pokračuje, "Mami, veď predsa všetky živočíchy sa nemôžu rozkročiť."
And I go, "I know, but the legs ..." and I'm probably like, "The legs get worked out."
A na to ja: "Viem, ale nohy ..." a na to jej odpoviem: "Nohy sa vždy nejak vyriešia."
And she goes, "But I just can't understand it."
A ona na to: "Ale ja to vôbec nechápem."
So I go, "You know, why don't we go on the Internet, and maybe we can see ... like on Wikipedia." (Laughter)
A tak sa snažím vysvetliť: "Vieš čo, prečo si to radšej nenájdeme na internete a možno to tam nájdeme ... ako napríklad na Wikipédii." (Smiech)
So we go online, and we put in "cats mating." And, unfortunately, on YouTube, there's many cats mating videos. And we watched them and I'm so thankful, because she's just like, "Wow! This is so amazing." She goes, "What about dogs?" So we put in dogs mating, and, you know, we're watching it, and she's totally absorbed.
A tak sme šli na net a zadali sme vyhľadávať "párenie mačiek". A bohužiaľ jeden môže na YouTube nájsť veľa videí mačiek ako sa pária. A tak sme sa na ne dívali a ja som bola taká vďačná za ne, pretože moja dcéra len vravela: " Wow, to je úžasné." A potom: "A čo psy?" A tak sme si našli videá páriacich sa psov a dívali sme sa na ne a ju tie videá úplne pohltili.
And then she goes, "Mom, do you think they would have, on the Internet, any humans mating?" (Laughter) And then I realized that I had taken my little eight year old's hand, and taken her right into Internet porn. (Laughter)
A potom povie: "Mami, myslíš, že by sme mohli nájsť na Internete tiež aj ľudské párenie?" (Smiech) A v tom som si uvedomila, že som zaviedla moje osemročné dievčatko krok po kroku až priamo k pornu na Internete. (Smiech)
And I looked into this trusting, loving face, and I said, "Oh, no. That would never happen."
A tak som sa pozrela do jej dôverčivých, milujúcich očí a povedala "Ale nie, to by tam určite nebolo."
Thank you.
Ďakujem.
(Applause)
(Potlesk)
Thank you.
Ďakujem.
(Applause)
(Potlesk)
Thank you. I'm so happy to be here.
Ďakujem, naozaj som veľmi šťastná, že ste ma pozvali.