My first job out of college was at Procter and Gamble, first as a sales rep, then a manager with three reps reporting to me. They were in their 40s, I was 26. And frankly, I had no idea how to be a manager. I rode with them every two weeks, visiting stores, yet rarely giving any feedback. I was in awe.
Then it came time for a year-end reviews. I compiled a list of things I thought each person could do to improve, and I launched into my review with Rich. In about three minutes in, he cut me off.
"Hey, wait a minute, Joe. You ride with me every two weeks, and you've never said any of these things? What the heck?"
I was mortified. He taught me something in that moment. Leadership isn't about role or position. It's about generosity. We need generous leaders, those who give of themselves freely, without expectation of personal gain, so others can develop, grow and thrive at their full potential.
Now, since P and G, I've worked across multiple roles at BCG, the Boston Consulting Group, overseeing teams of three people to 7,000. I also had the privilege of interviewing a number of executives across many industries for my book on generous leadership.
And let me tell you what a leader is and what is demanded of them have changed. We now want and need to bring our human selves to work, and we expect to see humanity in our leaders.
But let me be very clear: being generous is not simply about being nice. As Joaquin Duato, CEO of Johnson and Johnson, put it very plainly: outcomes do matter. A leader must get results. But the sooner they can look past themselves and connect more deeply and personally with their people, and help unlock all the essential human traits of their team, the sooner they will drive to those results.
So how do you be a generous leader? There are seven traits underpinning generous leadership. Today I'd like to touch on three.
Tip number one: Be curious, and listen generously. No doubt you've heard this advice before, and maybe you consider yourself a good listener. But let me ask you this. To whom are you listening? The senior team? Your own leadership team? How about your direct report's direct report's direct report? Have you asked your assistant for their insights? Generous listeners ignore the traditional barriers of titles and hierarchy. They ask and listen. They listen to learn. And with that respect, they inspire others.
Take Scott Kirby, CEO of United Airlines. Anytime someone is getting promoted to an officer position at United, he schedules a one-on-one interview with him. Can you imagine how rare that is? CEO interviewing every VP candidate? When I interviewed Scott for my book, he recalled sitting down with three candidates for vice president of operations. Each started as technicians, the people out on the tarmac doing maintenance every day to keep passengers safe and the planes on time. It is a critical function, but many, many layers away from the CEO. But Scott was still curious enough to ask them, "What do technicians need most?"
And each of those candidates said the same thing. "Sir, we don't have enough spare parts on site."
Scott said, "That was such an epiphany for me. Our technicians on the front line, of course, want to do well, but when they don't have the spare parts on hand, they can't do their job with pride." So while Scott knew the financial people would not be pleased, he said, "I increased parts in the airport as I believe supporting the pride in our technicians would pay big dividends."
Asking and listening helps you better solve tough challenges, but crucially, it shows respect. It tells the person you see them as a human with valuable insights.
Tip number two: Be vulnerable. Put down the mask. Easier said than done, I fear. When I was a young leader, I felt so much pressure to have all the answers. It never occurred to me to be vulnerable. I'm not even sure I knew what the word meant. And even today, many wonder, what does it mean?
Well, here's an example. I was talking with a colleague about his own vulnerabilities. He said that if he sensed his team was getting lost and they might ask him what to do, and he also didn't know what to do, he would literally get up and leave the room rather than say, "I don't know." Real productive, huh? Finally, one day he thought, "This is silly." He stayed in the room and he admitted, "I don't know either." And he was astonished at what happened next. The room had erupted with energy and ideas. Since the boss didn't know, it was OK for everyone to move past their fear, their roadblocks, acknowledge their own vulnerability, and get to work figuring it out.
Tip number three: Be generous in the moment. In every moment, especially when there's nothing for you to gain. That's the true definition of generosity. I was talking to a leader of one of the most prestigious firms in the world. He recalled sitting in a gorgeous conference room with a view of the city that doesn't quit, with nine other leaders deciding the fate of today's young interviewees. First candidate. Great interview scores. Super grades, solid resume. She's in. Number two. Average across the board. That's a no. Number three knocked it out of the park on the interviews. Top scores across the board.
"Wow," someone said, "We don't see this very often."
"Wait a minute," another person spoke up. "He has a mid 2.0 college GPA. We know people in that grade range just don't last here."
Conversation went back and forth. Got a bit heated, but the mood swung to a no.
And then my friend, who had been sitting there silently, biding his time, just listening, spoke up. "I have to tell you all something I've never told anyone here before. I had those grades in college. What can I say? I wasn't focused. But you know what? I got my act together. Got into business school. Got hired here, made senior partner, and now I'm the head of this office. What do you say we give this young man a chance, too?"
Now this is a lovely story, but here's why it's interesting. Because it didn't matter whatsoever to this executive if this young man was hired. There were plenty of other candidates. Why would he make this vulnerable admission to save a mere stranger? Because that's what it means to be generous in the moment. To take each and every opportunity you get to help others grow and thrive at their full potential, even when you personally have nothing to gain.
Generosity is what will move you from the good manager category to an exceptional leader. Your people are not only motivated by your dazzling strategies, your brilliant plans, your inspiring targets and metrics. When they see you bring your full heart into your leadership and share your humanity, that is when they will follow you anywhere.
Thank you for listening.
