I grew up to study the brain because I have a brother who has been diagnosed with a brain disorder, schizophrenia. And as a sister and later, as a scientist, I wanted to understand, why is it that I can take my dreams, I can connect them to my reality, and I can make my dreams come true? What is it about my brother's brain and his schizophrenia that he cannot connect his dreams to a common and shared reality, so they instead become delusion?
Sattusin uurima aju juba lapsena, sest mu vennal diagnoositi ajutegevuse häire: skisofreenia. Tema õena ja hiljem teadlasena tahtsin aru saada, miks mina võin võtta oma unistused, ühendada need oma reaalsusega ja viia oma unistused ellu. Miks mu venna aju ja skisofreenia põhjustavad seda, et tema ei suuda ühendada oma unistusi tavapärase, kollektiivse reaalsusega, nii et need muutuvad hoopis pettekujutlusteks?
So I dedicated my career to research into the severe mental illnesses. And I moved from my home state of Indiana to Boston, where I was working in the lab of Dr. Francine Benes, in the Harvard Department of Psychiatry. And in the lab, we were asking the question, "What are the biological differences between the brains of individuals who would be diagnosed as normal control, as compared with the brains of individuals diagnosed with schizophrenia, schizoaffective or bipolar disorder?"
Pühendusin oma töös raskete vaimuhaiguste uurimisele. Kolisin koduosariigist Indianast Bostonisse, kus töötasin dr. Francine Benesi laboris, Harvardi Psühhiaatriateaduskonnas. Laboris esitasime endale küsimuse: "Millised on bioloogilised erinevused, kui võrrelda sellise inimese aju, kes on diagnoosi järgi normaalne, ja sellise inimese aju, kellel on diagnoositud skisofreenia, skisoafektiivne häire või bipolaarne häire?"
So we were essentially mapping the microcircuitry of the brain: which cells are communicating with which cells, with which chemicals, and then in what quantities of those chemicals? So there was a lot of meaning in my life because I was performing this type of research during the day, but then in the evenings and on the weekends, I traveled as an advocate for NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness.
Niisiis püüdsime sisuliselt kaardistada aju mikroskeemi: saada teada, millised rakud suhtlevad millistega, milliste kemikaalide abil, ja seejärel, et millises koguses need kemikaalid on? Minu elul oli mõte, sest päevasel ajal tegelesin sellist tüüpi teadustööga. Aga õhtuti ja nädalavahetuseti sõitsin ringi NAMI, Riikliku Vaimuhaiguste Liidu eestkõnelejana.
But on the morning of December 10, 1996, I woke up to discover that I had a brain disorder of my own. A blood vessel exploded in the left half of my brain. And in the course of four hours, I watched my brain completely deteriorate in its ability to process all information. On the morning of the hemorrhage, I could not walk, talk, read, write or recall any of my life. I essentially became an infant in a woman's body.
Aga 10. detsembri hommikul 1996 ärkasin ma üles ja avastasin, et mul on endal ajutegevuse häire. Minu vasakus ajupoolkeras lõhkes veresoon. Ja nelja tunni jooksul jälgisin ma, kuidas mu aju võime infot töödelda käis täielikult alla. Sel hommikul, kui veresoon lõhkes, ei suutnud ma käia, rääkida, lugeda, kirjutada, ega meenutada midagi oma elust. Muutusin justkui imikuks naise kehas.
If you've ever seen a human brain, it's obvious that the two hemispheres are completely separate from one another. And I have brought for you a real human brain.
Kui te olete kunagi inimaju näinud, on selge, et kaks poolkera on teineteisest täiesti lahutatud. Olen teie jaoks tõelise inimaju kaasa võtnud.
(Groaning, laughter)
So this is a real human brain. This is the front of the brain, the back of brain with the spinal cord hanging down, and this is how it would be positioned inside of my head. And when you look at the brain, it's obvious that the two cerebral cortices are completely separate from one another.
See on ehtne inimaju. See on aju eesmine osa, see on aju tagumine osa koos rippuva seljaajuga ja niimoodi asetseks see minu peas. Kui te aju vaatate, on ilmselge, et kaks ajupoolkera on teineteisest täiesti lahutatud.
For those of you who understand computers, our right hemisphere functions like a parallel processor, while our left hemisphere functions like a serial processor. The two hemispheres do communicate with one another through the corpus callosum, which is made up of some 300 million axonal fibers. But other than that, the two hemispheres are completely separate. Because they process information differently, each of our hemispheres think about different things, they care about different things, and, dare I say, they have very different personalities. Excuse me. Thank you. It's been a joy.
Kui tunnete arvuteid, siis meie parem ajupoolkera toimib nagu rööpprotsessor, samas kui vasak ajupoolkera toimib kui jadaprotsessor. Kaks ajupoolkera suhtlevad omavahel mõhnkeha abil, mis koosneb umbes 300 miljonist närvikiust. Aga kui see välja arvata, on kaks ajupoolkera teineteisest täiesti eraldatud. Kuna nad töötlevad infot erinevalt, mõtleb kumbki meie ajupoolkera erinevatele asjadele, nad hoolivad erinevatest asjadest ja ma julgen öelda, et neil on väga erinev iseloom. Vabandage. Tänan teid. Oli väga meeldiv.
Assistant: It has been.
(Laughter)
Our right human hemisphere is all about this present moment. It's all about "right here, right now." Our right hemisphere, it thinks in pictures and it learns kinesthetically through the movement of our bodies. Information, in the form of energy, streams in simultaneously through all of our sensory systems and then it explodes into this enormous collage of what this present moment looks like, what this present moment smells like and tastes like, what it feels like and what it sounds like. I am an energy-being connected to the energy all around me through the consciousness of my right hemisphere. We are energy-beings connected to one another through the consciousness of our right hemispheres as one human family. And right here, right now, we are brothers and sisters on this planet, here to make the world a better place. And in this moment we are perfect, we are whole and we are beautiful.
Meie parem ajupoolkera tegeleb käesoleva hetkega. Teda huvitab see, mis on "siin ja praegu". Parem ajupoolkera mõtleb pildiliselt ja õpib kinesteetiliselt läbi meie keha liikumise. Informatsioon voolab energia kujul sisse üheaegselt läbi kõigi meie meeleelundite ja siis plahvatab üheks suureks kollaažiks sellest, kuidas praegune hetk välja näeb, kuidas praegune hetk lõhnab ja maitseb, kuidas katsudes tundub ja millisena kõlab. Ma olen energeetiline olend, ühenduses kogu ümbritseva energiaga parema ajupoolkera teadvuse kaudu. Me kõik oleme energeetilised olendid, üksteisega ühenduses parema ajupoolkera teadvuse kaudu, nagu üks inimpere. Siin ja praegu oleme sellel planeedil õed ja vennad, et muuta maailma paremaks. Just praegu oleme täiuslikud, terviklikud ja kaunid.
My left hemisphere, our left hemisphere, is a very different place. Our left hemisphere thinks linearly and methodically. Our left hemisphere is all about the past and it's all about the future. Our left hemisphere is designed to take that enormous collage of the present moment and start picking out details, and more details about those details. It then categorizes and organizes all that information, associates it with everything in the past we've ever learned, and projects into the future all of our possibilities. And our left hemisphere thinks in language. It's that ongoing brain chatter that connects me and my internal world to my external world. It's that little voice that says to me, "Hey, you've got to remember to pick up bananas on your way home. I need them in the morning." It's that calculating intelligence that reminds me when I have to do my laundry. But perhaps most important, it's that little voice that says to me, "I am. I am."
Minu - meie - vasak ajupoolkera on väga erinev paik. Vasak ajupoolkera mõtleb lineaarselt ja metoodiliselt. Meie vasak ajupoolkera tegeleb mineviku ja tulevikuga. Vasak ajupoolkera on kavandatud nii, et ta suudab võtta selle hiiglasliku kollaaži käesolevast hetkest ja hakata eristama sealt detaile ja omakorda nende detailide detaile. Seejärel ta kategoriseerib ja korrastab kogu info, seostab selle kõigega, mida oleme minevikus õppinud ja kaalub kõiki meie tulevikuvõimalusi. Meie vasak ajupoolkera mõtleb keeleliselt. See pidev sisemonoloog ühendab mind ja minu sisemaailma ümbritseva maailmaga. See hääleke ütleb mulle: "Kuule, ära unusta koduteel banaane osta. Mul on neid hommikul vaja." See kalkuleeriv aru tuletab mulle meelde, millal pean pesu pesema. Aga ehk kõige olulisem on, et see hääleke ütleb mulle: "Ma olen olemas." Ja niipea, kui mu vasak poolkera ütleb: "Ma olen olemas",
And as soon as my left hemisphere says to me "I am," I become separate. I become a single solid individual, separate from the energy flow around me and separate from you. And this was the portion of my brain that I lost on the morning of my stroke.
ma eristun. Muutun konkreetseks üksikisikuks, kes on eraldatud ümbritsevast energiavoost ja kes on eraldatud teist. Ja selle osa oma ajust kaotasin ma sel hommikul, kui sain insuldi.
On the morning of the stroke, I woke up to a pounding pain behind my left eye. And it was the kind of caustic pain that you get when you bite into ice cream. And it just gripped me -- and then it released me. And then it just gripped me -- and then it released me. And it was very unusual for me to ever experience any kind of pain, so I thought, "OK, I'll just start my normal routine."
Insuldi-hommikul ärkasin üles ja tundsin piinavat valu vasaku silma taga. See oli selline valu - salvav valu - mida sa tunned, kui sa hammustad jäätist. See haaras mind - ja siis laskis lahti. Ja haaras mind - ja laskis lahti. Minu jaoks oli väga harjumatu üldse mingit valu tunda, niisiis mõtlesin, et tühja kah, alustan oma hommikuste toimetustega.
So I got up and I jumped onto my cardio glider, which is a full-body, full-exercise machine. And I'm jamming away on this thing, and I'm realizing that my hands look like primitive claws grasping onto the bar. And I thought, "That's very peculiar." And I looked down at my body and I thought, "Whoa, I'm a weird-looking thing." And it was as though my consciousness had shifted away from my normal perception of reality, where I'm the person on the machine having the experience, to some esoteric space where I'm witnessing myself having this experience.
Tõusin üles ja hüppasin oma trenažöörile, mis on treeningmasin kogu kehale. Teen hooga trenni ja äkki taipan, et mu käed näevad välja nagu primitiivsed küünised, mis hoiavad käepidemest. Mõtlesin: "Kummaline." Vaatasin alla oma kehale ja mõtlesin: "Ohoo, olen vast veider olend." Tunne oli selline, nagu mu teadvus oleks nihkunud eemale tavapärasest reaalsusest, kus mina olen inimene trenažööril, kes kogeb midagi, ja liikunud mingisse esoteerilisse ruumi, kus ma näen, kuidas ma midagi kogen.
And it was all very peculiar, and my headache was just getting worse. So I get off the machine, and I'm walking across my living room floor, and I realize that everything inside of my body has slowed way down. And every step is very rigid and very deliberate. There's no fluidity to my pace, and there's this constriction in my area of perception, so I'm just focused on internal systems. And I'm standing in my bathroom getting ready to step into the shower, and I could actually hear the dialogue inside of my body. I heard a little voice saying, "OK. You muscles, you've got to contract. You muscles, you relax."
See oli väga kummaline ja peavalu läks üha hullemaks. Tulin trenažöörilt maha ja elutoast läbi minnes taipasin, et mu kehas on kõik aeglustunud. Et iga samm on väga jäik ja väga kaalutletud. Mu astumises pole sujuvust ja mu tajud on kuidagi kitsenenud, nii et ma keskendun vaid oma sisemusele. Seisin vannitoas ja valmistusin duši alla minema, kuuldes samal ajal dialoogi enda sees. Kuulsin vaikset häält, mis ütles: "Nii. Teie, lihased, peate kokku tõmbuma. Teie, lihased, lõdvestuge."
And then I lost my balance, and I'm propped up against the wall. And I look down at my arm and I realize that I can no longer define the boundaries of my body. I can't define where I begin and where I end, because the atoms and the molecules of my arm blended with the atoms and molecules of the wall. And all I could detect was this energy -- energy.
Kaotasin tasakaalu ja vajusin vastu seina. Vaatasin oma kätt ja sain aru, et ma ei suuda enam määratleda oma keha piire. Ma ei suuda määratleda, kus ma algan ja lõpen, sest mu käe aatomid ja molekulid on sulanud ühte seina aatomite ja molekulidega. Ainus, mida suutsin tajuda, oli energia.
And I'm asking myself, "What is wrong with me? What is going on?" And in that moment, my left hemisphere brain chatter went totally silent. Just like someone took a remote control and pushed the mute button. Total silence. And at first I was shocked to find myself inside of a silent mind. But then I was immediately captivated by the magnificence of the energy around me. And because I could no longer identify the boundaries of my body, I felt enormous and expansive. I felt at one with all the energy that was, and it was beautiful there.
Küsisin endalt: "Mis mul viga on? Mis toimub?" Ja samal hetkel mu sisemonoloog - mu vasaku ajupoolkera monoloog - lakkas täielikult. Justkui keegi oleks võtnud kaugjuhtimispuldi ja heli kinni vajutanud. Täielik vaikus. Alguses olin jahmunud, kui avastasin, et mu meeles valitseb vaikus. Aga kohe pärast seda olin võlutud mind ümbritseva energia hunnitusest. Kuna ma ei suutnud enam tuvastada oma keha piire, tundsin end hiigelsuure ja laialivalguvana. Tundsin, et olen üks kogu olemasoleva energiaga ja see oli ilus.
Then all of a sudden my left hemisphere comes back online and it says to me, "Hey! We've got a problem! We've got to get some help." And I'm going, "Ahh! I've got a problem!"
Siis äkki tundsin, kuidas mu vasak ajupoolkera logib uuesti sisse ja ütleb: "Kuule! Meil on probleem! Meil on probleem! Peame abi hankima." Ma mõtlen: "Aa! Mul on probleem.
(Laughter)
Mul on probleem." Kordan endale: "Olgu-olgu. Mul on probleem."
So it's like, "OK, I've got a problem." But then I immediately drifted right back out into the consciousness -- and I affectionately refer to this space as La La Land. But it was beautiful there. Imagine what it would be like to be totally disconnected from your brain chatter that connects you to the external world.
Aga seejärel triivisin kohe jälle eneseteadvuse juurest minema - paika, mida ma kutsun hellitavalt Ulmademaaks. Aga seal oli ilus. Kujutage ette, mis tunne oleks olla täiesti lahutatud sisemonoloogist, mis ühendab teid välise maailmaga.
So here I am in this space, and my job, and any stress related to my job -- it was gone. And I felt lighter in my body. And imagine all of the relationships in the external world and any stressors related to any of those -- they were gone. And I felt this sense of peacefulness. And imagine what it would feel like to lose 37 years of emotional baggage! (Laughter) Oh! I felt euphoria -- euphoria. It was beautiful.
Ma viibisin selles paigas ja muu töö - ja kogu tööga seotud stress - oli kadunud. Tundsin end oma kehas nii kergelt. Kujutlege: kõik välismaailma suhted ja kõik nendega seotud stressiallikad olid läinud. Tundsin erakordset rahu. Kujutlege vabanemist 37 aasta jooksul kogunenud emotsionaalsest taagast! Oh! Ma tundsin eufooriat. Eufooriat. See oli imekaunis.
And again, my left hemisphere comes online and it says, "Hey! You've got to pay attention. We've got to get help." And I'm thinking, "I've got to get help. I've got to focus." So I get out of the shower and I mechanically dress and I'm walking around my apartment, and I'm thinking, "I've got to get to work. Can I drive?"
Aga siis logis mu vasak ajupoolkera jälle sisse ja ütles: "Kuule! Ole nüüd tähelepanelik. Me peame abi hankima." Ma mõtlen: "Pean abi hankima. Pean keskenduma." Tulen duši alt ära ja riietun mehaaniliselt, kõnnin korteris ringi ja mõtlen: "Pean tööle minema. Pean tööle minema.
And in that moment, my right arm went totally paralyzed by my side. Then I realized, "Oh my gosh! I'm having a stroke!" And the next thing my brain says to me is, Wow! This is so cool!
Kas ma autot suudan juhtida?" Sel hetkel muutus mu parem käsi täiesti halvatuks. Siis taipasin: "Issand! Mul on insult! Mul on insult!" Järgmisena ütles aju mulle: "Ohoo!
(Laughter)
Äge värk. Äge värk!"
This is so cool! How many brain scientists have the opportunity to study their own brain from the inside out?"
Kui paljudel neuroteadlastel on võimalik uurida omaenda aju seestpoolt?"
(Laughter)
(Naer)
And then it crosses my mind, "But I'm a very busy woman!"
Siis tuli mulle pähe: "Aga mul on väga palju tegemist!"
(Laughter)
"Mul ei ole insuldi jaoks aega!"
"I don't have time for a stroke!" So I'm like, "OK, I can't stop the stroke from happening, so I'll do this for a week or two, and then I'll get back to my routine. OK. So I've got to call help. I've got to call work." I couldn't remember the number at work, so I remembered, in my office I had a business card with my number. So I go into my business room, I pull out a three-inch stack of business cards. And I'm looking at the card on top and even though I could see clearly in my mind's eye what my business card looked like, I couldn't tell if this was my card or not, because all I could see were pixels. And the pixels of the words blended with the pixels of the background and the pixels of the symbols, and I just couldn't tell. And then I would wait for what I call a wave of clarity. And in that moment, I would be able to reattach to normal reality and I could tell that's not the card... that's not the card. It took me 45 minutes to get one inch down inside of that stack of cards. In the meantime, for 45 minutes, the hemorrhage is getting bigger in my left hemisphere. I do not understand numbers, I do not understand the telephone, but it's the only plan I have.
Mõtlen: "Olgu, ma ei saa insulti peatada, niisiis tegelen sellega nädala või paar ja siis pöördun oma igapäevatöö juurde tagasi. Olgu. Ma pean abi kutsuma. Pean tööle helistama." Ma ei suutnud oma töökoha numbrit meenutada, aga mul oli meeles, et mul on visiitkaart koos kontori numbriga. Läksin oma kabinetti, võtan sealt kolmetollise pataka visiitkaarte. Vaatasin ülemist kaarti ja kuigi nägin oma vaimusilmas selgelt, milline mu visiitkaart on, ei suutnud ma eristada, kas see on minu oma, sest nägin ainult piksleid. Sõnade pikslid sulasid ühte tausta pikslite ja tähtede-numbrite pikslitega ja ma ei saanud midagi aru. Ootasin seda, mida ma nimetan selgushetkeks. Sellisel hetkel olin võimeline olema ühenduses tavareaalsusega ja mõistma, et see on vale kaart ... vale kaart ... vale kaart. 45 minuti jooksul suutsin vaadata läbi ühe tolli kogu kaardipatakast. Selle 45 minuti jooksul muutus verevalum mu vasakus ajupoolkeras üha suuremaks. Ma ei saa numbritest aru. Ma ei saa telefonist aru, aga see on mu ainus tegevusplaan.
So I take the phone pad and I put it right here. I take the business card, I put it right here, and I'm matching the shape of the squiggles on the card to the shape of the squiggles on the phone pad. But then I would drift back out into La La Land, and not remember when I came back if I'd already dialed those numbers. So I had to wield my paralyzed arm like a stump and cover the numbers as I went along and pushed them, so that as I would come back to normal reality, I'd be able to tell, "Yes, I've already dialed that number."
Võtan telefoni ja panen enda ette. Võtan visiitkaardi, panen samuti enda ette ja püüan leida kaardil asuvate kriipselduste järgi samasuguse kujuga kriipseldusi telefonil. Aga vahepeal triivin tagasi Ulmademaale, ega mäleta tagasi tulles, kas ma juba valisin need numbrid või mitte. Pidin kasutama oma halvatud kätt nagu könti, et katta kinni numbid, mida ma olin juba vajutanud, nii et kui ma jõudsin jälle tagasi reaalsusesse, suudaksin ma mõista: "Jah, selle numbri ma juba valisin."
Eventually, the whole number gets dialed and I'm listening to the phone, and my colleague picks up the phone and he says to me, "Woo woo woo woo." (Laughter)
Lõpuks saan numbri valitud ja mul on telefonitoru kõrva ääres ja kolleeg võtab vastu ja ütleb mulle: "Auu auu auu auu." Mõtlen endamisi:
(Laughter)
And I think to myself, "Oh my gosh, he sounds like a Golden Retriever!"
"Issand, ta teeb sellist häält, nagu ta oleks kuldne retriiver!"
(Laughter)
And so I say to him -- clear in my mind, I say to him: "This is Jill! I need help!" And what comes out of my voice is, "Woo woo woo woo woo." I'm thinking, "Oh my gosh, I sound like a Golden Retriever." So I couldn't know -- I didn't know that I couldn't speak or understand language until I tried. So he recognizes that I need help and he gets me help.
Ütlen talle - kusjuures mu peas valitseb täielik selgus: "Jill siin! Mul on abi vaja!" Aga mu suust kostab: "Auu auu auu auu auu." Mõtlen: "Issand, ma teen sellist häält, nagu ma oleksin kuldne retriiver." Mul ei olnud aimugi, et ma ei suuda rääkida ega keelest aru saada, enne kui proovisin. Ta saab aru, et mul on abi vaja, ja kutsub mulle abi.
And a little while later, I am riding in an ambulance from one hospital across Boston to [Massachusetts] General Hospital. And I curl up into a little fetal ball. And just like a balloon with the last bit of air, just right out of the balloon, I just felt my energy lift and just I felt my spirit surrender.
Veidi aja pärast sõidan kiirabis ühest haiglast läbi Bostoni linna Massachusettsi Keskhaiglasse. Tõmbun kägarasse nagu loode. Nagu oleksin õhupall, millesse on jäänud viimane pahvakas õhku, täpselt nagu õhk väljuks õhupallist, tundsin, kuidas mu energia lahkus - ja kuidas mu vaim andis alla.
And in that moment, I knew that I was no longer the choreographer of my life. And either the doctors rescue my body and give me a second chance at life, or this was perhaps my moment of transition.
Samal hetkel teadsin, et ma ei ole enam oma elu näitejuht. Arstid kas päästavad mu keha ja annavad mulle veel ühe võimaluse elada, või siis on hoopis aeg sellest ilmast lahkuda.
When I woke later that afternoon, I was shocked to discover that I was still alive. When I felt my spirit surrender, I said goodbye to my life. And my mind was now suspended between two very opposite planes of reality. Stimulation coming in through my sensory systems felt like pure pain. Light burned my brain like wildfire, and sounds were so loud and chaotic that I could not pick a voice out from the background noise, and I just wanted to escape. Because I could not identify the position of my body in space, I felt enormous and expansive, like a genie just liberated from her bottle. And my spirit soared free, like a great whale gliding through the sea of silent euphoria. Nirvana. I found Nirvana. And I remember thinking, there's no way I would ever be able to squeeze the enormousness of myself back inside this tiny little body.
Kui ma samal pärastlõunal ärkasin, olin jahmunud, et olen ikka veel elus. Kui ma tundsin, et mu vaim andis alla, olin elule hüvasti öelnud. Nüüd hõljus mu meel kuskil kahe vastandliku reaalsuse vahel. Kõik, mida ma läbi meeleelundite tajusin, mõjus puhta valuna. Valgus kõrvetas mu aju nagu metsatulekahju ja helid olid nii valjud ja kaootilised, et ma ei suutnud eristada ühtegi häält taustamürast ning tahtsin ainult põgeneda. Kuna ma ei suutnud tuvastada oma keha asetust ruumis, tundsin end hiigelsuure ja laialivalguvana, nagu džinn, kes on pudelist välja lastud. Aga mu vaim hõljus vabalt, nagu suur vaal, kes liugleb läbi vaikse eufooria mere. Nirvaana. Leidsin nirvaana. Mäletan, et mõtlesin, et ma ei suuda mitte mingil juhul pressida oma hiigelsuurt mina tagasi sellesse väikesesse kehasse.
But then I realized, "But I'm still alive! I'm still alive, and I have found Nirvana. And if I have found Nirvana and I'm still alive, then everyone who is alive can find Nirvana." And I pictured a world filled with beautiful, peaceful, compassionate, loving people who knew that they could come to this space at any time. And that they could purposely choose to step to the right of their left hemispheres -- and find this peace. And then I realized what a tremendous gift this experience could be, what a stroke of insight this could be to how we live our lives. And it motivated me to recover.
Aga siis taipasin: "Ma olen ikka veel elus! Olen elus ja leidsin nirvaana. Kui mina leidsin nirvaana ja olen ikka veel elus, võib igaüks, kes on elus, leida nirvaana." Kujutlesin maailma, mis on täis ilusaid, rahumeelseid, kaastundlikke, armastavaid inimesi, kes teavad, et nad võivad igal hetkel sellesse paika minna. Et nad võivad teadlikult astuda oma vasakust ajupoolkerast sammu paremale ja leida selle rahu. Seejärel mõistsin, et see kogemus võiks olla suurepärane kingitus ja tuua kaasa rabava mõistmise seoses sellega, kuidas me oma elu elame. See innustas mind tervenema.
Two and a half weeks after the hemorrhage, the surgeons went in, and they removed a blood clot the size of a golf ball that was pushing on my language centers. Here I am with my mama, who is a true angel in my life. It took me eight years to completely recover.
Kaks ja pool nädalat pärast insulti eemaldasid kirurgid vereklombi, mis oli golfipalli suurune ja vajutas mu keelekeskustele. Siin olen koos emaga, kes on tõeline ingel mu elus. Läks kaheksa aastat, enne kui täielikult paranesin.
So who are we? We are the life-force power of the universe, with manual dexterity and two cognitive minds. And we have the power to choose, moment by moment, who and how we want to be in the world. Right here, right now, I can step into the consciousness of my right hemisphere, where we are. I am the life-force power of the universe. I am the life-force power of the 50 trillion beautiful molecular geniuses that make up my form, at one with all that is. Or, I can choose to step into the consciousness of my left hemisphere, where I become a single individual, a solid. Separate from the flow, separate from you. I am Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor: intellectual, neuroanatomist. These are the "we" inside of me. Which would you choose? Which do you choose? And when? I believe that the more time we spend choosing to run the deep inner-peace circuitry of our right hemispheres, the more peace we will project into the world, and the more peaceful our planet will be. And I thought that was an idea worth spreading.
Niisiis, kes me oleme? Me oleme universumi elujõud, kellel on käteosavus ja kaks kognitiivset meelt. Meil on võimalus igal hetkel valida, kes ja kuidas me maailmas olla tahame. Siin ja praegu võin ma astuda oma parema ajupoolkera teadvusesse. Ma olen universumi elujõud. Ma olen 50 miljardi imekauni, mulle kuju andva molekulaarse geeniuse elujõud, olen kõige olevaga üks. Või kui soovin, võin astuda oma vasaku ajupoolkera teadvusesse, kus minust saab üksikisik, olen konkreetne objekt. Olen eraldatud energiavoost ja olen eraldatud teist. Olen dr. Jill Bolte Taylor: intellektuaal, neuroteadlane. Need on "meie", kes minus asuvad. Kumma te valiksite? Kumma te valite? Ja millal? Ma usun, et mida sagedamini me otsustame rakendada sügava sisemise rahu mikroskeemi, mis asub paremas ajupoolkeras, seda rohkem rahu kiirgame me maailma, ja seda rahumeelsem on meie planeet. Minu arvates oli see idee, mida tasub levitada.
Thank you.
(Applause)