When I was six years old, I received my gifts. My first grade teacher had this brilliant idea. She wanted us to experience receiving gifts but also learning the virtue of complimenting each other. So she had all of us come to the front of the classroom, and she bought all of us gifts and stacked them in the corner. And she said, "Why don't we just stand here and compliment each other? If you hear your name called, go and pick up your gift and sit down." What a wonderful idea, right? What could go wrong?
Men 6 yoshligimda sovg'alar oldim. Mening boshlang’ich sinf o’qituvchimda shunday hayrotomuz g’oya tug'ildi. U bizni sov’g’alar olish hissiyotini tuyishimiz bilan birga bir-birimizni maqtashning yaxshi tomonini o’rganishimizni istadi. Ustozim barchamizni sinfxona oldiga jamladi, hammamizga sovg’alar sotib olib, ularni burchakka terib qo’ygan edi. Va u: "Shu yerda turib bir-birimizni yaxshi so’zlar bilan siylasak-chi?” dedi. O’z ismingizni eshitsangiz, sovg’angizni olishga borasiz, so’ng o’tirasiz. Ajoyib g’oya, to’g’rimi? Nima o'xshamasligi mumkin?
(Laughter)
(Kulgu)
Well, there were 40 of us to start with, and every time I heard someone's name called, I would give out the heartiest cheer. And then there were 20 people left, and 10 people left, and five left ... and three left. And I was one of them. And the compliments stopped. Well, at that moment, I was crying. And the teacher was freaking out. She was like, "Hey, would anyone say anything nice about these people?"
Xo’sh, dastlab biz 40 kishi edik, va men har gal kimnidir ismini eshitishim bilan shodligimdan uree deb yuborardim. So’ng 20 kishi qoldi, keyin 10 kishi, undan keyin 5 kishi… nihoyat 3 kishi. Va ulardan biri men edim. Yoqimli so’zlar ulashish to’xtadi. Men o’sha daqiqada yig’layotgan edim. Ustozning hafsalasi pir bo’lib, “Kimdir bu insonlar haqida ham biror iliq so’z aytadimi?”
(Laughter)
(Kulgu)
"No one? OK, why don't you go get your gift and sit down. So behave next year -- someone might say something nice about you."
“Hech kim? Mayli, sovg’angizni olingda, joyingizga o'tiring. O’zingizni yaxshi tuting, kelasi yil kimdir siz haqda iliq so’z aytar.
(Laughter)
(Kulgu)
Well, as I'm describing this you, you probably know I remember this really well.
Tasvirlab berishimdan buni juda yaxshi esga olishimni bilgandirsiz.
(Laughter)
(Kulgu)
But I don't know who felt worse that day. Was it me or the teacher? She must have realized that she turned a team-building event into a public roast for three six-year-olds. And without the humor. You know, when you see people get roasted on TV, it was funny. There was nothing funny about that day.
Biroq o’sha kuni kim o’zini yomonroq his qilganini bilmayman. Menmi yoki o’qituvchi? U jamoani shakllantirish jarayonini 3 nafar 6 yasharlik bolalar uchun hajviy ko’rsatuvga aylantirganini tushungandir. Biroq bu kulgili emasdi. Televizorda odamlar ustidan hazil qilishsa, miriqib kulardingiz. Bu kun haqida biror kulgili narsani
So that was one version of me, and I would die to avoid being in that situation again -- to get rejected in public again. That's one version. Then fast-forward eight years. Bill Gates came to my hometown -- Beijing, China -- to speak, and I saw his message. I fell in love with that guy. I thought, wow, I know what I want to do now. That night I wrote a letter to my family telling them: "By age 25, I will build the biggest company in the world, and that company will buy Microsoft."
eslolmayman. Bu mening bir ko’rinishim edi va bu vaziyatga, omma oldida rad etilishga qayta duch kelmaslik uchun o’limga ham tayyor edim. Bu bir ko’rinishim. Shiddatli sakkiz yildan so’ng, shaxrimizga—Beijing, Xitoyga Bill Geyts nutq so’zlash uchun tashrif buyurdi va men uning nutqini eshitdim. Bu kishi menga yoqib qoldi. Endi men nima qilishni istashimni bilaman, deb o’yladim. O’sha kecha oilamga shunday xat yozdim "25 yoshimgacha dunyodagi eng katta kompaniyani quraman va bu kompaniya Microsoftni sotib oladi."
(Laughter)
(Kulgu)
I totally embraced this idea of conquering the world -- domination, right? And I didn't make this up, I did write that letter. And here it is --
Men dunyoni zabt etish g’oyasiga tamoman yopishib oldim. dominantlik, to’g’rimi? buni ichimdan to’qiganim yo’q, o’sha xatni yozgandim. Mana o’sha xat.
(Laughter)
(Kulgu)
You don't have to read this through --
Buni o’qib chiqishingiz shart emas
(Laughter)
(Kulgu)
This is also bad handwriting, but I did highlight some key words. You get the idea.
Qolaversa, bu yomon husnixat, lekin ba’zi muhim so’zlarni belgilab qo’ydim. Tushunib oldiz.
(Laughter)
(Kulgu)
So ... that was another version of me: one who will conquer the world.
Shunday qilib ... bu boshqa bir ko'rinishim edi. dunyoni zabt etuvchi.
Well, then two years later, I was presented with the opportunity to come to the United States. I jumped on it, because that was where Bill Gates lived, right?
Xo’sh, ikki yildan so’ng menga Amerikaga borish imkoniyati taqdim etildi. Darhol rozi bo’ldim, chunki u yerda Bill Geyts yashaydi, to’g’rimi?
(Laughter)
(Kulgu)
I thought that was the start of my entrepreneur journey. Then, fast-forward another 14 years. I was 30. Nope, I didn't build that company. I didn't even start. I was actually a marketing manager for a Fortune 500 company. And I felt I was stuck; I was stagnant. Why is that? Where is that 14-year-old who wrote that letter? It's not because he didn't try. It's because every time I had a new idea, every time I wanted to try something new, even at work -- I wanted to make a proposal, I wanted to speak up in front of people in a group -- I felt there was this constant battle between the 14-year-old and the six-year-old. One wanted to conquer the world -- make a difference -- another was afraid of rejection. And every time that six-year-old won.
Bu biznesdagi ilk sayohatim, deb o’yladim. So’ng, keyingi shiddatli 14 yil. 30 yoshda edim. Yo’q, o’sha kompaniyani qurmadim. Hatto boshladim ham. Men o'zi Fortune 500 kompaniyalaridan birida marketing menejer bo'lib ishlardim. Bir yerda turib qolganimni bildim. Bir yerda qotib qoldim. Nega? O’sha xatni yozgan 14 yoshli bola qani? Bunga sabab uning urinib ko’rmaganligi emas. Bunga sabab har safar menda yangi g'oya uyg’onganida, biror yangi narsaga urinib ko’rishni istaganimda, hatto ishda ham taklif berishni istardim guruhda odamlar orasida o’z fikrimni bildirishni istardim o’sha 14 yashar va 6 yashar o’rtasida doimiy kurash mavjudligini his qildim. Biri dunyoni zabt etishni, o’zgarish qilishni istasa, boshqa biri esa rad javobidan qo’rqadi. Va har gal o’sha 6 yashar yutib keldi.
And this fear even persisted after I started my own company. I mean, I started my own company when I was 30 -- if you want to be Bill Gates, you've got to start sooner or later, right? When I was an entrepreneur, I was presented with an investment opportunity, and then I was turned down. And that rejection hurt me. It hurt me so bad that I wanted to quit right there. But then I thought, hey, would Bill Gates quit after a simple investment rejection? Would any successful entrepreneur quit like that? No way. And this is where it clicked for me. OK, I can build a better company. I can build a better team or better product, but one thing for sure: I've got to be a better leader. I've got to be a better person. I cannot let that six-year-old keep dictating my life anymore. I have to put him back in his place.
Bu qo’rquv hatto o’z kompaniyamni yaratganimda ham meni tark etmadi. Ha, 30 yoshligimda o’z kompaniyamga ega bo’ldim. Agar Bill Geyts bo’lishni xohlasangiz, ertami-kechmi boshlashingiz kerak tog’rimi? Tadbirkorlik faoliyatim davomida sarmoya kiritish imkoniyatini qo'lga kiritdim, keyinroq esa rad etildim. Bu rad javobi menga azob berdi. Shunchalik qattiq azoblandimki, shundayoq hammasidan voz kechishni istadim. Ammo sal o’tib o’yladim. Bill Geyts oddiygina sarmoya kiritishdan rad etilish tufayli ortga chekinardimi? Har qanday muvaffaqiyatli tadbirkor shu tariqa chekinadimi? Aslo. Ana shunda men buni anglab yetdim. Ok, yaxshi kompaniya qura olaman. Yaxshi jamoa yoki yaxshi mahsulot yaratishim mumkin, biroq shu narsa aniqki, men yaxshi lider bo’lishim kerak. Yaxshi inson bo’lishim zarur. Men buyog’iga o’sha 6 yashar hayotimda hukmronlik qilishiga ortiq qo’yib bermayman. Uni o’z joyiga qaytarishim kerak.
So this is where I went online and looked for help. Google was my friend.
Shunday qilib onlayn ko’mak izlay boshladim. Google mening do’stim edi.
(Laughter)
(Kulgu)
I searched, "How do I overcome the fear of rejection?" I came up with a bunch of psychology articles about where the fear and pain are coming from. Then I came up with a bunch of "rah-rah" inspirational articles about "Don't take it personally, just overcome it." Who doesn't know that?
“Qanday qilib rad etilish qo’rquvini yengga olaman?” deb qidiruv berdim. Qo’rquv va azoblar qanday paydo bo’lishi haqidagi bir qancha psixologik maqolalarga ko’zim tushdi. So’ng bir qancha “Har narsani o’zingga olaverma, shunchaki yengib o’t” shunga o’xshash ruhlantiruvchi maqolalarni ko’rdim. Buni kim ham bilmaydi?
(Laughter)
(Kulgu)
But why was I still so scared? Then I found this website by luck. It's called rejectiontherapy.com.
Biroq nega hanuz qo’rquvdaman? So’ngra omadim kelib shu vebsaytni topdim. U radetilishterapiyasi.com deb nomlangan.
(Laughter)
(Kulgu)
"Rejection Therapy" was this game invented by this Canadian entrepreneur. His name is Jason Comely. And basically the idea is for 30 days you go out and look for rejection, and every day get rejected at something, and then by the end, you desensitize yourself from the pain. And I loved that idea.
"Rad etilish Terapiyasi" bu kanadalik tadbirkor tomonidan yaratilgan o’yin. Uning ismi Jeyson Komeli. Bu g’oyaning mag’zi shunday: siz 30 kun davomida rad etilish uchun biror narsa izlaysiz har kuni biror narsada rad etilasiz va oqibatda bu azob sizga begona bo’ladi. Bu g’oya menga yoqib tushdi.
(Laughter)
(Kulgu)
I said, "You know what? I'm going to do this. And I'll feel myself getting rejected 100 days." And I came up with my own rejection ideas, and I made a video blog out of it.
O’zimga shunday dedim, “Bilasanmi? Men buni qilmoqchiman va o'zim rad etilish hissini 100 kun tuymoqchiman. Rad javobini olish uchun o’z g’oyalarimni yaratdim va undan video blog tayyorladim.
And so here's what I did. This is what the blog looked like. Day One ...
Mana bu mening ishlarim. Blog shunday ko’rinishda edi. Birinchi kun ...
(Laughter)
(Kulgu)
Borrow 100 dollars from a stranger. So this is where I went to where I was working. I came downstairs and I saw this big guy sitting behind a desk. He looked like a security guard. So I just approached him. And I was just walking and that was the longest walk of my life -- hair on the back of my neck standing up, I was sweating and my heart was pounding. And I got there and said, "Hey, sir, can I borrow 100 dollars from you?"
Notanish kishidan 100 dollar qarz olish. Ishlayotgan joyimga bordim. Zinadan tushdim va stol ortida o’tirgan gavdali kishini ko’rdim. U qo’riqchiga o’xshab ko’rindi. Shu sababdan unga yaqinlashdim. Yurib boryapman va bu umrimdagi eng uzun yo’l edi, bo'ynimning orqa qismidagi tuklar tik holatda, terlayotgandim, yuragim esa gupirlab urardi. Borib shunday dedim “Hoy, janob 100 dollar qarz bera olasizmi?”
(Laughter)
(Kulgu)
And he looked up, he's like, "No." "Why?"
U menga qarab “Yo’q.” “Nega?” dedi
And I just said, "No? I'm sorry." Then I turned around, and I just ran.
Men esa “Yo’qmi? Kechirasiz.” dedim. So'ng esa orqamga o’girilib, qochib qoldim.
(Laughter)
(Kulgu)
I felt so embarrassed. But because I filmed myself -- so that night I was watching myself getting rejected, I just saw how scared I was. I looked like this kid in "The Sixth Sense." I saw dead people.
Juda xijolat tortdim. O’zimni videoga olgandim, o’sha kecha o’zimni rad javobi olganimni ko’rayotgandim. O’zimni qanchalik qo’rquvga tushganimni ko'rdim. Men xuddi “The 6th Sense” filmidagi boladek edim. Men arvohlarni ko’rdim.
(Laughter)
(Kulgu)
But then I saw this guy. You know, he wasn't that menacing. He was a chubby, loveable guy, and he even asked me, "Why?" In fact, he invited me to explain myself. And I could've said many things. I could've explained, I could've negotiated. I didn't do any of that. All I did was run. I felt, wow, this is like a microcosm of my life. Every time I felt the slightest rejection, I would just run as fast as I could. And you know what? The next day, no matter what happens, I'm not going to run. I'll stay engaged.
Keyin o’sha kishini ko’rdim. Bilasizmi, u unchalik qo’rqinchli emasdi U to’lachadan kelgan, yoqimtoy yigit edi. va u hatto mendan “Nega?” deb so’radi. Rostdan ham, u buni tushuntirib berishimni so’radi. Ko’p narsalar aytishim mumkin edi. Tushuntirib berishim mumkin edi. U bilan kelishib olishim mumkin edi. Bularning birortasini qilmadim. Qo’limdan kelgani yugurish bo'ldi. Bu xuddi hayotimning mikrodunyosiga o’xshashini his qildim. Har gal rad etilishimni his qildimmi, oyog’imni qo’limga olib yuguraman. Bilasizmi nima? Keyingi safar nima bo’lishidan qat’iy nazar, hech qayerga ketmayman. Vaziyatni qo’lga olaman.
Day Two: Request a "burger refill."
2-kun: “Burger to’ldirish” imkonini so’rash
(Laughter)
(Kulgu)
It's when I went to a burger joint, I finished lunch, and I went to the cashier and said, "Hi, can I get a burger refill?"
Burger oshxonasiga borib, tushlikni yeb oldim va kassir oldiga borib, shunday dedim: Salom, burger to’ldirib berasizmi?
(Laughter)
(Kulgu)
He was all confused, like, "What's a burger refill?"
U chalkashib ketdi. “Burger to’ldirish nima degani?”
(Laughter)
(Kulgu)
I said, "Well, it's just like a drink refill but with a burger." And he said, "Sorry, we don't do burger refill, man."
Shunday dedim “Xo’sh, bu xuddi ichimlik to’ldirib berishga o’xshaydi, lekin o’rniga burger” U: “Uzr, bizda burger to’ldirishning
(Laughter)
imkoni yo’q” dedi. (Kulgu)
So this is where rejection happened and I could have run, but I stayed. I said, "Well, I love your burgers, I love your joint, and if you guys do a burger refill, I will love you guys more."
Ana shunda rad javobini oldim. Ketib qolsam bo’lardi, biroq bunday qilmadim. Shunday dedim, “Burgerlaring menga yoqadi, oshxonangiz ham chakkimas, burger to’ldirish imkoniyatini berganlaringda sizlarni yanada yaxshi
(Laughter)
ko'rardim. (Kulgu)
And he said, "Well, OK, I'll tell my manager about it, and maybe we'll do it, but sorry, we can't do this today." Then I left. And by the way, I don't think they've ever done burger refill.
U esa “Mayli, menejerimga buni aytaman, ehtimol bunday imkoniyat berilar, ammo bugun qila olmaymiz” dedi. Keyin ketdim. Ha aytgancha, menimcha ular hech qachon burger to’ldirish imkoniyatini joriy etmagan.
(Laughter)
(Kulgu)
I think they're still there. But the life and death feeling I was feeling the first time was no longer there, just because I stayed engaged -- because I didn't run. I said, "Wow, great, I'm already learning things. Great."
Menimcha, ular hali ham ishlamoqda. Biroq, ilk marotaba men his etgan hayot-mamot tuyg’usi endi yo’q, negaki vaziyatni o’z qo’limga oldim, chunki ketib qolmadim. O’zimga “Ajoyib, men allaqachon buni o’rganyapman. Zo’r” dedim. So'ng 3-kun:
And then Day Three: Getting Olympic Doughnuts. This is where my life was turned upside down. I went to a Krispy Kreme. It's a doughnut shop in mainly the Southeastern part of the United States. I'm sure they have some here, too. And I went in, I said, "Can you make me doughnuts that look like Olympic symbols? Basically, you interlink five doughnuts together ... " I mean there's no way they could say yes, right? The doughnut maker took me so seriously.
Olimpiya donutlariga ega bo’lish. Ana shunda hayotim butunlay o’zgarib ketdi. Krispi Kremega bordim. U Qo’shma Shtatlarning janubi-sharqiy qismida joylashgan donutlar do’koni edi. Ular bu yerda ham borligiga ishonchim komil. Ichkariga kirib: “Olimpiya simvollariga o’xshash donut tayyorlab bera olasizmi? Oddiy qilib aytganda, 5 ta donutni birlashtirasiz…” dedim. Ularning bunga rozi bo’lmaydi, to’g’rimi? Donut tayyorlovchi meni o’ta jiddiy qabul qildi.
(Laughter)
(Kulgu)
So she put out paper, started jotting down the colors and the rings, and is like, "How can I make this?" And then 15 minutes later, she came out with a box that looked like Olympic rings. And I was so touched. I just couldn't believe it. And that video got over five million views on Youtube. The world couldn't believe that either.
U qo’liga qog’oz olib, uning ranglari va halqalarini yoza boshladi. “Buni qanday tayyorlashim mumkin?” dedi. 15 daqiqadan so’ng esa, u qo’lida Olimpiya halqalariga o’xshash quti bilan chiqdi. Juda hayajonda edim. Bunga ishona olmasdim. Men o’sha kun olgan video esa Youtubeda besh million kuzatuvchiga ega bo’ldi. Dunyo ham bunga ishona olmayotgan edi.
(Laughter)
(Kulgu)
You know, because of that I was in newspapers, in talk shows, in everything. And I became famous. A lot of people started writing emails to me and saying, "What you're doing is awesome." But you know, fame and notoriety did not do anything to me. What I really wanted to do was learn, and to change myself. So I turned the rest of my 100 days of rejection into this playground -- into this research project. I wanted to see what I could learn.
Shu sababdan men gazetalar, tok-shoular, barchasining mavzusiga aylandim. Shu tariqa mashhur bo’ldim. Ko’plab insonlar email orqali: “Qilayotgan ishlaringiz hayratlanarli” deb yoza boshlashdi. Biroq bilasizmi, shon-shuhrat va mashhurlik menga hech narsa bermadi. Mening chin istagim o’zimni o’rganish va o’zgartirish edi. Shu tariqa men 100 kunlik rad etilishni o’yin maydoniga, tadqiqot loyihasiga aylantirdim. Nima o'rgana olishim mumkinligini ko’rmoqchi edim.
And then I learned a lot of things. I discovered so many secrets. For example, I found if I just don't run, if I got rejected, I could actually turn a "no" into a "yes," and the magic word is, "why."
Natijada ko’p narsalar o'rgandim. Ko’plab sirlardan boxabar bo'ldim. Misol uchun, shunga amin bo’ldimki, agar men chekinmasam, rad javobini olsm, "yo'q"ni “ha” ga aylantira olishim mumkin. Sehrli so’z esa, “nega?”
So one day I went to a stranger's house, I had this flower in my hand, knocked on the door and said, "Hey, can I plant this flower in your backyard?"
Bir kuni qo’limda gul bilan bir notanish kishining uyiga bordim, eshikni taqillatib, shunday dedim: shu gulni sizning tomorqangizda eksam bo’ladimi?
(Laughter)
(Kulgu)
And he said, "No." But before he could leave I said, "Hey, can I know why?" And he said, "Well, I have this dog that would dig up anything I put in the backyard. I don't want to waste your flower. If you want to do this, go across the street and talk to Connie. She loves flowers." So that's what I did. I went across and knocked on Connie's door. And she was so happy to see me.
U esa “Yo’q” dedi. Eshikni yopishidan oldin unga shunday dedim “Negaligini bilsam bo’ladimi? U “Tomorqaga ekkan hamma narsani payhon qilib yuboradigan itim bor.” dedi. Gulingiz isrof bo’lishini xohlamayman. Gul ekmoqchi bo’lsangiz, ko’chani kesib o’tib Konniga ayting. U gullarni yoqtiradi. Xuddi shunday qildim. Ko’chani kesib o’tib, Konnining eshigini qoqdim. U meni ko’rib quvonib ketdi.
(Laughter)
(Kulgu)
And then half an hour later, there was this flower in Connie's backyard. I'm sure it looks better now.
Va yarim soatdan so’ng Konnining tomorqasida shu gul paydo bo’ldi. Hozir uning yaxshiroqligiga
(Laughter)
ishonchim komil. (Kulgu)
But had I left after the initial rejection, I would've thought, well, it's because the guy didn't trust me, it's because I was crazy, because I didn't dress up well, I didn't look good. It was none of those. It was because what I offered did not fit what he wanted. And he trusted me enough to offer me a referral, using a sales term. I converted a referral.
Biroq, ilk rad etilishdayoq ortga chekinganimda U kishi menga ishonmadi, negaki men ahmoqman, tuzuk kiyinmaganligim, yaxshi ko’rinishda bo’lmaganim uchun deb o’ylardim. Bular sababli emas. Sababi men taklif etgan narsa uning istagi bilan mos kelmagan- -ligida edi. U menga ishonch bildirib, kelishuv qoidalariga asosan yo'l ko'rsatdi. Men yo’nalishni o’zgartirdim.
Then one day -- and I also learned that I can actually say certain things and maximize my chance to get a yes. So for example, one day I went to a Starbucks, and asked the manager, "Hey, can I be a Starbucks greeter?" He was like, "What's a Starbucks greeter?" I said, "Do you know those Walmart greeters? You know, those people who say 'hi' to you before you walk in the store, and make sure you don't steal stuff, basically? I want to give a Walmart experience to Starbucks customers."
Kunlardan bir kun so’zlarim bilan ha javobini olish imkoniyatini oshirish mumkinligini bilib oldim. Misol uchun bir kuni Starbucksga bordim va menejerdan “Starbucks mezboni bo’lsam maylimi? deb so'radim. U shunday ohangda “Starbaks mezboni, u nima degani? “Wallmart mezbonlarini bilasizmi?” dedim. Bilasizmi, ular do’konga kirishingizdan oldin sizga salom beradi va aslida hech narsa o’g’irlamasligingizga ishonch hosil qilishadi? Starbucks xaridorlariga Wallmart ruhini ulashaman.
(Laughter)
(Kulgu)
Well, I'm not sure that's a good thing, actually -- Actually, I'm pretty sure it's a bad thing. And he was like, "Oh" -- yeah, this is how he looked, his name is Eric -- and he was like, "I'm not sure." This is how he was hearing me. "Not sure." Then I ask him, "Is that weird?" He's like, "Yeah, it's really weird, man." But as soon as he said that, his whole demeanor changed. It's as if he's putting all the doubt on the floor. And he said, "Yeah, you can do this, just don't get too weird."
Xo’sh, bu yaxshi fikrligiga ishonchim komil emas. Aslida, bu yaxshimasligini aniq bilaman. U esa qarab, “Ha” Uning ismi Erik, “Bilmasam.” dedi. U meni shu tariqa tinglayotgan edi. “Bilmasam.” Undan “Bu g’alatimi?”deb so’radim. U esa “Bu judayam g’alati.” dedi. Biroq shuni aytishi bilan uning munosabati butunlay o’zgardi. Aftidan, u barcha shubhalarini chetga surib qo’ydi. U “Mezbon bo’lishingiz mumkin, lekin o’ta g’alati tuyulmasin”
(Laughter)
dedi. (Kulgu)
So for the next hour I was the Starbucks greeter. I said "hi" to every customer that walked in, and gave them holiday cheers. By the way, I don't know what your career trajectory is, don't be a greeter.
Keyin 1 soat davomida Starbucksga mezbonlik qildim. Tashrif buyurgan har bir xaridorga salom berib, dam olish kuni zavqini ulashdim. Ha aytgancha, sizning qaysi kasbga yo’nalganligingizni bilmayman, mezbonlik
(Laughter)
qilmang. (Kulgu)
It was really boring. But then I found I could do this because I mentioned, "Is that weird?" I mentioned the doubt that he was having. And because I mentioned, "Is that weird?", that means I wasn't weird. That means I was actually thinking just like him, seeing this as a weird thing. And again, and again, I learned that if I mention some doubt people might have before I ask the question, I gained their trust. People were more likely to say yes to me.
Bu o’ta zerikarli edi. Bu qo’limdan kelishini angladim, chunki men “Bu g’alatimi?” deb so’radim. Men undagi shubhani tilga oldim. “Bu g’alatimi?” deb so’rashim g’alati kishi emasligimni anglatadi. Bu aslida xuddi unga o’xshab fikrlayotganimni, bunga g’alati narsa sifatida qarayotganimni anglatadi. Qayta-qayta shunga amin bo'ldimki, savol so’rashdan oldin odamlarda mavjud bo’lishi mumkin bo'lgan shubhani aytganimda, ularning ishonchini qozondim. Menga ha deb javobini berish ehtimolli
And then I learned I could fulfill my life dream ... by asking. You know, I came from four generations of teachers, and my grandma has always told me, "Hey Jia, you can do anything you want, but it'd be great if you became a teacher."
oshdi. So’rash orqali hayotimdagi orzularga erishishim mumkinligiga amin bo’ldim.. Mening to’rt avlodim o’qituvchilik qilgan, buvim menga doim shunday der edilar, “Jia, seni qo’lingdan hamma narsa keladi, lekin o’qituvchi bo’lsang zo’r bo’lardi”
(Laughter)
(Kulgu)
But I wanted to be an entrepreneur, so I didn't. But it has always been my dream to actually teach something. So I said, "What if I just ask and teach a college class?" I lived in Austin at the time, so I went to University of Texas at Austin and knocked on professors' doors and said, "Can I teach your class?" I didn't get anywhere the first couple of times. But because I didn't run -- I kept doing it -- and on the third try the professor was very impressed. He was like, "No one has done this before." And I came in prepared with powerpoints and my lesson. He said, "Wow, I can use this. Why don't you come back in two months? I'll fit you in my curriculum." And two months later I was teaching a class.
Biroq men tadbirkor bo’lishni istagandim, o'qituvchi bo'lmadim. Lekin ta’lim berish bir umrlik orzuyim edi. “Kollejda dars berishni so’rab ko’rsamchi?” dedim. O'sha paytlar Ostinda yashardim. Shu sabab Ostindagi Texas Universitetiga borib professor eshigini qoqdim, “Talabalaringizga dars o’tsam bo’ladimi?” deb so'radim. 1-2 urinishda hech narsaga erishmadim. Chekinmay, davom ettirdim. Va uchinchi urinishimda professorni lol qoldirdim. U “Hali hech kim bunday qilmagan” dedi. Slaydlarim va darslarim bilan tayyorlanib kelar edim. U “Qoyil, bularni ishlata olaman. Ikki oydan so’ng kelsangizchi? Sizni o’quv dasturimga joylashtiraman.” dedi. Va ikki oydan so’ng, men o’qita boshladim.
This is me -- you probably can't see, this is a bad picture. You know, sometimes you get rejected by lighting, you know?
Bu men. Ehtimol, meni ko’ra olmaysiz. Yomon surat. Bilasizmi, ba’zida yorug’lik sizni rad etadi?
(Laughter)
(Kulgu)
But wow -- when I finished teaching that class, I walked out crying, because I thought I could fulfill my life dream just by simply asking. I used to think I have to accomplish all these things -- have to be a great entrepreneur, or get a PhD to teach -- but no, I just asked, and I could teach.
Lekin... Darsni tugatib, u yerdan ko’zimda yosh bilan chiqdim. Chunki, bor yog’i so'rash orqali hayotdagi orzularimga erishish mumkinligi haqida o’yladim. Men har doim bularning barchasini bajarishim kerak, ya’ni eng zo’r tadbirkor bo’lishim yoki o’qitish uchun PhD olishim kerak deb o'ylardim. Yo’q, men shunchaki so'radim va o’qita oldim.
And in that picture, which you can't see, I quoted Martin Luther King, Jr. Why? Because in my research I found that people who really change the world, who change the way we live and the way we think, are the people who were met with initial and often violent rejections. People like Martin Luther King, Jr., like Mahatma Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, or even Jesus Christ. These people did not let rejection define them. They let their own reaction after rejection define themselves. And they embraced rejection.
Sizga yaxshi ko’rinmayotgan ushbu rasmda Martin Lyuter King iqtibosini keltirgandim. Nega deysizmi? Chunki o’z tadqiqotimda shunga amin bo’ldimki, dunyoni o'zgartira oladigan, yashash tarzimiz va fikrlash tarzimizni o’zgartiruvchi insonlar ilk va qattiq tanqidga uchragan insonlar bo’lishgan. Martin Lyuter King, Mahatma Gandi, Nelson Mandela kabi insonlar va hatto Iso Masih ham. Bu insonlar ularning aslida qanday insonligini rad javobi aniqlashiga qo'yib bermadi. Rad etilishdan so‘ng unga bildirgan munosabati ularning aslida kimligini aniqlashga qo'yib berdi
And we don't have to be those people to learn about rejection, and in my case, rejection was my curse, was my boogeyman. It has bothered me my whole life because I was running away from it. Then I started embracing it. I turned that into the biggest gift in my life. I started teaching people how to turn rejections into opportunities. I use my blog, I use my talk, I use the book I just published, and I'm even building technology to help people overcome their fear of rejection.
Ular rad etilishga iliq qarashgan. Rad etilishdan saboq olish uchun bu insonlar kabi bo'lish shart emas va mening vaziyatimda rad javobi menga tekkan la'nat, mening qo’rquvim edi. U meni butun umr ta’qib etdi, men esa undan qochayotgandim. So’ng men u bilan kelishishni boshlab uni hayotimdagi eng katta tuhfaga aylantirdim. Rad etilish qanday qilib imkoniyatga ayla- nishi mumkinligi haqda o’rgata boshladim. Insonlarga rad etilish qo’rquvini yengish uchun yordam berishda blogimdan, nutq va yaqinda chop etilgan kitobdan, hatto bu uchun hozirda yaratayotgan texnologiyamdan
When you get rejected in life, when you are facing the next obstacle or next failure, consider the possibilities. Don't run. If you just embrace them, they might become your gifts as well.
foydalanaman. Hayotda rad etilganda, keyingi safar qiyinchilik yoki mag’lubiyatga uchraganingizda, uning imkoniyatlari haqida o’ylab ko’ring. Chekinmang. Agar u bilan iliqlik o’rnatsangiz, u sizning ham tuhfangizga aylanishi mumkin.
Thank you.
Rahmat.
(Applause)
(Qarsaklar)