Da jeg var seks år gammel, modtog jeg mine gaver. Min lærer i første klasse havde en strålende idé. Hun ville have, at vi modtog gaver, men også at vi skulle lære dyden at komplimentere hinanden. Så hun fik os alle sammen til at stå foran klasseværelset, og hun kom med gaver til os alle, som hun stablede i hjørnet. Og hun sagde, "Skal vi ikke bare stå her og komplimentere hinanden? Hvis dit navn bliver kaldt, må du gå over og hente din gave og sætte dig ned." Sikke en vidunderlig idé, ikke? Hvad kunne gå galt?
When I was six years old, I received my gifts. My first grade teacher had this brilliant idea. She wanted us to experience receiving gifts but also learning the virtue of complimenting each other. So she had all of us come to the front of the classroom, and she bought all of us gifts and stacked them in the corner. And she said, "Why don't we just stand here and compliment each other? If you hear your name called, go and pick up your gift and sit down." What a wonderful idea, right? What could go wrong?
(Latter)
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Der var 40 af os til at starte med, og hver gang jeg hørte nogen blive kaldt på, kom jeg med den mest hjertelige jubel. Og så var der 20 personer tilbage, og 10 personer tilbage, og fem tilbage... og tre tilbage. Og jeg var en af dem. Og komplimenterne stoppede. I det øjeblik græd jeg. Og læreren var ved at flippe ud. Hun sagde, "Hey, er der nogen, der vil sige noget sødt om disse personer?"
Well, there were 40 of us to start with, and every time I heard someone's name called, I would give out the heartiest cheer. And then there were 20 people left, and 10 people left, and five left ... and three left. And I was one of them. And the compliments stopped. Well, at that moment, I was crying. And the teacher was freaking out. She was like, "Hey, would anyone say anything nice about these people?"
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"Ingen? Okay, hvorfor tager I ikke jeres gave og sætter jer ned? Opfør jer pænt næste år -- og nogen vil måske sige noget sødt om jer."
"No one? OK, why don't you go get your gift and sit down. So behave next year -- someone might say something nice about you."
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Siden jeg beskriver dette for jer, ved I sikkert, at jeg kan huske det her ret godt.
Well, as I'm describing this you, you probably know I remember this really well.
(Latter)
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Jeg ved ikke hvem, det var værst for den dag. Var det mig eller læreren? Hun må have indset, at hun gjorde en team-building øvelse til en offentlig udhængning af tre seks-årige. Og uden humoren. Når man ser folk blive hængt ud på TV, er det sjovt. Der var ikke noget sjovt ved den dag.
But I don't know who felt worse that day. Was it me or the teacher? She must have realized that she turned a team-building event into a public roast for three six-year-olds. And without the humor. You know, when you see people get roasted on TV, it was funny. There was nothing funny about that day.
Så det var en version af mig, og jeg ville dø for at undgå at komme i sådan en situation igen -- at blive afvist offentligt. Det er en version. Spol nu otte år frem i tiden. Bill Gates besøgte min hjemby -- Beijing, Kina -- for at tale, og jeg fangede hans budskab. Jeg blev forelsket i den fyr. Jeg tænkte, wow, jeg ved, hvad jeg vil nu. Den aften skrev jeg et brev til min familie, hvor jeg sagde: "Inden jeg er 25, vil jeg bygge det største firma i verden, og det firma vil opkøbe Microsoft."
So that was one version of me, and I would die to avoid being in that situation again -- to get rejected in public again. That's one version. Then fast-forward eight years. Bill Gates came to my hometown -- Beijing, China -- to speak, and I saw his message. I fell in love with that guy. I thought, wow, I know what I want to do now. That night I wrote a letter to my family telling them: "By age 25, I will build the biggest company in the world, and that company will buy Microsoft."
(Latter)
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Jeg omfavnede hele idéen om at erobre verden -- herredømme, ikke? Jeg fandt ikke på det her, jeg skrev faktisk det brev. Her er det --
I totally embraced this idea of conquering the world -- domination, right? And I didn't make this up, I did write that letter. And here it is --
(Latter)
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I behøver ikke læse det igennem --
You don't have to read this through --
(Latter)
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Det er en dårlig håndskrift, men jeg har fremhævet nogle nøgleord. I forstår, hvad jeg mener.
This is also bad handwriting, but I did highlight some key words. You get the idea.
(Latter)
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Så ... det var en anden version af mig: en, som ville erobre verden.
So ... that was another version of me: one who will conquer the world.
To år senere fik jeg muligheden for at komme til USA. Jeg skyndte mig afsted, fordi det var der, Bill Gates boede, ikke?
Well, then two years later, I was presented with the opportunity to come to the United States. I jumped on it, because that was where Bill Gates lived, right?
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Jeg tænkte, at det var starten på min entreprenør-rejse. Spol nu endnu 14 år frem i tiden. Jeg var 30. Nej, jeg havde ikke bygget mit firma. Jeg var ikke engang begyndt. Jeg var faktisk marketing manager for et Fortune 500 firma. Og jeg følte, at jeg sad fast. Jeg var stillestående. Hvorfor? Hvor var den 14-årige, der skrev det brev? Det var ikke fordi, han ikke prøvede. Det var fordi, hver gang jeg havde en ny ide, hver gang jeg ville prøve noget nyt, selv på jobbet -- når jeg ville fremsætte et forslag, eller snakke foran en gruppe mennesker -- følte jeg, at der var en konstant kamp mellem den 14-årige og den seksårige. Den ene ville erobre verden -- gøre en forskel -- den anden var bange for at blive afvist. Og hver gang vandt den seksårige.
I thought that was the start of my entrepreneur journey. Then, fast-forward another 14 years. I was 30. Nope, I didn't build that company. I didn't even start. I was actually a marketing manager for a Fortune 500 company. And I felt I was stuck; I was stagnant. Why is that? Where is that 14-year-old who wrote that letter? It's not because he didn't try. It's because every time I had a new idea, every time I wanted to try something new, even at work -- I wanted to make a proposal, I wanted to speak up in front of people in a group -- I felt there was this constant battle between the 14-year-old and the six-year-old. One wanted to conquer the world -- make a difference -- another was afraid of rejection. And every time that six-year-old won.
Og denne frygt blev hos mig, selv efter jeg startede mit eget firma. Jeg startede mit eget firma, da jeg var 30 -- Vil man være Bill Gates, skal man starte før eller senere, ikke? Da jeg var entreprenør, præsenterede jeg en investeringsmulighed, men jeg blev afvist. Og den afvisning sårede mig. Den sårede mig så slemt, at jeg ville stoppe lige der. Men så tænkte jeg, ville Bill Gates stoppe efter en enkelt investeringsafvisning? Ville en hvilken som helst entreprenør stoppe bare sådan? Nej. Og det er her, det faldt på plads for mig. Okay, jeg kan bygge et bedre firma. Jeg kan danne et bedre team eller produkt, men en ting er sikker: jeg er nødt til at være en bedre leder. Jeg er nødt til at være en bedre person. Jeg kan ikke lade den seksårige blive ved med at diktere mit liv. Jeg bliver nødt til at sætte ham på plads.
And this fear even persisted after I started my own company. I mean, I started my own company when I was 30 -- if you want to be Bill Gates, you've got to start sooner or later, right? When I was an entrepreneur, I was presented with an investment opportunity, and then I was turned down. And that rejection hurt me. It hurt me so bad that I wanted to quit right there. But then I thought, hey, would Bill Gates quit after a simple investment rejection? Would any successful entrepreneur quit like that? No way. And this is where it clicked for me. OK, I can build a better company. I can build a better team or better product, but one thing for sure: I've got to be a better leader. I've got to be a better person. I cannot let that six-year-old keep dictating my life anymore. I have to put him back in his place.
Det er her, jeg gik online for at få hjælp. Google var min ven.
So this is where I went online and looked for help. Google was my friend.
(Latter)
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Jeg googlede, "Hvordan overkommer jeg min frygt for at blive afvist?" Jeg fandt en del psykologiartikler omkring hvor frygt og smerte kommer fra. Så fandt jeg en del "rah-rah" inspirationsartikler omkring "tag det ikke personligt, bare overkom det." Hvem ved ikke det?
I searched, "How do I overcome the fear of rejection?" I came up with a bunch of psychology articles about where the fear and pain are coming from. Then I came up with a bunch of "rah-rah" inspirational articles about "Don't take it personally, just overcome it." Who doesn't know that?
(Latter)
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Men hvorfor var jeg stadig så bange? Så fandt jeg denne hjemmeside ved et held. Den hedder rejectiontherapy.com.
But why was I still so scared? Then I found this website by luck. It's called rejectiontherapy.com.
(Latter)
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"Rejection Therapy" var et spil opfundet af en canadisk entreprenør. Hans navn var Jason Comely. Og grundlæggende er idéen, at man i 30 dage skal lede efter afvisning, og hver dag skal man afvises, og til sidst skal man desensibilisere sig selv fra smerten. Og jeg elskede idéen.
"Rejection Therapy" was this game invented by this Canadian entrepreneur. His name is Jason Comely. And basically the idea is for 30 days you go out and look for rejection, and every day get rejected at something, and then by the end, you desensitize yourself from the pain. And I loved that idea.
(Latter)
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Jeg sagde, "Ved du hvad? Jeg vil gøre det. Og jeg vil mærke mig selv blive afvist 100 dage." Jeg fandt på mine egne afvisningsidéer, og jeg lavede en videoblog ud af det.
I said, "You know what? I'm going to do this. And I'll feel myself getting rejected 100 days." And I came up with my own rejection ideas, and I made a video blog out of it.
Så her er, hvad jeg gjorde. Det her er sådan, bloggen så ud. Dag 1 ...
And so here's what I did. This is what the blog looked like. Day One ...
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At låne 100 dollar fra en fremmed. Det var her, jeg tog hen til det sted, hvor jeg arbejdede. Jeg kom nedenunder, og jeg så en store fyr bag ved et skrivebord. Han lignede en sikkerhedsvagt. Jeg nærmede mig ham. Jeg gik bare, og det var den længste tur i mit liv -- hårene i nakken rejste sig, jeg svedte, og mit hjerte bankede. Jeg kom derhen og sagde, "Hey, herre, kan jeg låne 100 dollars af dig?"
Borrow 100 dollars from a stranger. So this is where I went to where I was working. I came downstairs and I saw this big guy sitting behind a desk. He looked like a security guard. So I just approached him. And I was just walking and that was the longest walk of my life -- hair on the back of my neck standing up, I was sweating and my heart was pounding. And I got there and said, "Hey, sir, can I borrow 100 dollars from you?"
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Han kiggede op og sagde, "Nej." "Hvorfor?"
And he looked up, he's like, "No." "Why?"
Og jeg sagde bare, "Nej? Jeg beklager." Så vendte jeg mig om og løb.
And I just said, "No? I'm sorry." Then I turned around, and I just ran.
(Latter)
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Jeg var så pinlig berørt. Men jeg filmede mig selv, og den aften så jeg mig selv blive afvist, jeg så bare, hvor bange jeg var. Jeg lignede drengen fra "Den sjette sans." Jeg så døde mennesker.
I felt so embarrassed. But because I filmed myself -- so that night I was watching myself getting rejected, I just saw how scared I was. I looked like this kid in "The Sixth Sense." I saw dead people.
(Latter)
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Men så kiggede jeg på fyren. Og han var ikke særlig truende. Han var en buttet, elskværdig fyr, og han spurgte mig endda, "Hvorfor?" Han inviterede mig faktisk til at forklare mig selv. Jeg kunne have sagt mange ting. Jeg kunne have forklaret, jeg kunne have forhandlet. Jeg gjorde ikke noget af det. Det eneste jeg gjorde var at løbe. Jeg følte, at det her var mit livs mikrokosmos. Hver gang jeg følte den mindste smule afvisning, ville jeg løbe så hurtigt, jeg kunne. Og ved I hvad? Den næste dag, uanset hvad der sker, så vil jeg ikke løbe. Jeg vil blive i situationen.
But then I saw this guy. You know, he wasn't that menacing. He was a chubby, loveable guy, and he even asked me, "Why?" In fact, he invited me to explain myself. And I could've said many things. I could've explained, I could've negotiated. I didn't do any of that. All I did was run. I felt, wow, this is like a microcosm of my life. Every time I felt the slightest rejection, I would just run as fast as I could. And you know what? The next day, no matter what happens, I'm not going to run. I'll stay engaged.
Dag 2: Bede om en "burger refill."
Day Two: Request a "burger refill."
(Latter)
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Jeg tog til et burgersted, spiste min frokost og gik op til ekspedienten og sagde, "Hej, kan jeg få en burger refill?"
It's when I went to a burger joint, I finished lunch, and I went to the cashier and said, "Hi, can I get a burger refill?"
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Han var helt forvirret, "Hvad er en burger refill?"
He was all confused, like, "What's a burger refill?"
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Jeg sagde, "Det er ligesom en sodavands refill, men med en burger." Og han sagde, "Beklager, vi har ikke burger refill."
I said, "Well, it's just like a drink refill but with a burger." And he said, "Sorry, we don't do burger refill, man."
(Latter)
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Det var her, afvisningen skete, og jeg kunne være løbet, men jeg blev. Jeg sagde, "Jeg elsker jeres burgere, og jeg elsker det her sted, og hvis I havde en burger refill, så elsker jeg jer endnu mere."
So this is where rejection happened and I could have run, but I stayed. I said, "Well, I love your burgers, I love your joint, and if you guys do a burger refill, I will love you guys more."
(Latter)
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Og han sagde, "Altså, okay, jeg vil sige det til min manager, og måske vil vi, men beklager, i dag kan vi ikke gøre det." Så gik jeg. Og forresten, tror jeg ikke, de har lavet burger refill.
And he said, "Well, OK, I'll tell my manager about it, and maybe we'll do it, but sorry, we can't do this today." Then I left. And by the way, I don't think they've ever done burger refill.
(Latter)
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Jeg tror stadig, de er der. Men den der liv-og-død følelse, som jeg havde den første gang, var der ikke længere, bare fordi jeg blev i situationen -- fordi jeg ikke løb. Jeg sagde, "Wow, fedt, jeg lærer allerede noget.
I think they're still there. But the life and death feeling I was feeling the first time was no longer there, just because I stayed engaged -- because I didn't run. I said, "Wow, great, I'm already learning things.
Fedt. Og så dag 3: At få en olympisk donut.
Great."
Det er her, mit liv blev vendt op og ned. Jeg tog hen til en Krispy Kreme. Det er en donutbutik, der hovedsageligt findes i det sydøstlige USA. Jeg er sikker på, der også er nogen her. Og jeg gik ind, jeg sagde, "Kan I lave donuts, der ligner det olympiske symbol? Det er grundlæggende fem donuts, der hænger sammen ..." Jeg mener, de ville på ingen måde sige ja, vel? Hende, der lavede donuts, tog mig så alvorligt.
And then Day Three: Getting Olympic Doughnuts. This is where my life was turned upside down. I went to a Krispy Kreme. It's a doughnut shop in mainly the Southeastern part of the United States. I'm sure they have some here, too. And I went in, I said, "Can you make me doughnuts that look like Olympic symbols? Basically, you interlink five doughnuts together ... " I mean there's no way they could say yes, right? The doughnut maker took me so seriously.
(Latter)
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Så hun fandt papir frem og begyndte at tegne farverne og ringene, og var sådan, "Hvordan kan jeg lave dette?" Og 15 minutter senere, kom hun ud med en æske, der lignede de olympiske ringe. Jeg blev så rørt. Jeg kunne simpelthen ikke tro det. Den video fik over fem millioner views på Youtube. Verden kunne heller ikke tro det.
So she put out paper, started jotting down the colors and the rings, and is like, "How can I make this?" And then 15 minutes later, she came out with a box that looked like Olympic rings. And I was so touched. I just couldn't believe it. And that video got over five million views on Youtube. The world couldn't believe that either.
(Latter)
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På grund af det kom jeg i aviserne, jeg var i talkshows, i alt. Og jeg blev berømt. Mange mennesker begyndte at skrive til mig og sagde, "Det, du gør, er sejt." Men berømmelse gjorde ikke noget for mig. Det, jeg virkelig ville, var at lære, og ændre mig selv. Så jeg gjorde resten af de 100 dages afvisning til en legeplads -- til et forskningsprojekt. Jeg ville se, hvad jeg kunne lære.
You know, because of that I was in newspapers, in talk shows, in everything. And I became famous. A lot of people started writing emails to me and saying, "What you're doing is awesome." But you know, fame and notoriety did not do anything to me. What I really wanted to do was learn, and to change myself. So I turned the rest of my 100 days of rejection into this playground -- into this research project. I wanted to see what I could learn.
Og jeg lærte en masse ting. Jeg fandt så mange hemmeligheder. For eksempel fandt jeg ud af, at hvis jeg bare ikke løber, hvis jeg blev afvist så kunne jeg forvandle et "nej" til et "ja", og det magiske ord er "hvorfor."
And then I learned a lot of things. I discovered so many secrets. For example, I found if I just don't run, if I got rejected, I could actually turn a "no" into a "yes," and the magic word is, "why."
En dag tog jeg hen til en fremmeds hus, jeg havde en blomst i min hånd, bankede på og sagde, "Hej, kan jeg plante denne blomst i din baghave?"
So one day I went to a stranger's house, I had this flower in my hand, knocked on the door and said, "Hey, can I plant this flower in your backyard?"
(Latter)
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Og han sagde, "Nej." Men før han gik, sagde jeg, "Hey, må jeg vide hvorfor?" Og han sagde, "Altså jeg har en hund, som graver alt op, jeg planter i baghaven. Jeg vil ikke spilde din blomst. Du kan gå over på den anden side af gaden til Connie. Hun elsker blomster." Så det gjorde jeg. Jeg gik over og bankede på Connies dør. Og hun var så glad for at se mig.
And he said, "No." But before he could leave I said, "Hey, can I know why?" And he said, "Well, I have this dog that would dig up anything I put in the backyard. I don't want to waste your flower. If you want to do this, go across the street and talk to Connie. She loves flowers." So that's what I did. I went across and knocked on Connie's door. And she was so happy to see me.
(Latter)
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Og en halv time senere var der en blomst i Connies baghave. Jeg er sikker på, at den ser bedre ud nu.
And then half an hour later, there was this flower in Connie's backyard. I'm sure it looks better now.
(Latter)
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Hvis jeg var gået efter den første afvisning, ville jeg have tænkt, at det var fordi, fyren ikke stolede på mig, fordi at jeg var skør, fordi jeg ikke så godt nok ud. Det var ikke derfor. Det var fordi, det jeg tilbød, ikke passede til det, han manglede. Og han stolede nok på mig til at henvise mig, for at bruge en salgsterm. Jeg benyttede en henvisning.
But had I left after the initial rejection, I would've thought, well, it's because the guy didn't trust me, it's because I was crazy, because I didn't dress up well, I didn't look good. It was none of those. It was because what I offered did not fit what he wanted. And he trusted me enough to offer me a referral, using a sales term. I converted a referral.
Så, en dag -- jeg lærte også, at jeg kan sige visse ting og maksimere min chance for at få et ja. For eksempel gik jeg en dag ind på en Starbucks og spurgte manageren, "Hej, må jeg være en Starbucks-hilser?" Han spurgte, "Hvad er en Starbucks-hilser?" Jeg sagde, "Kender du Walmart-hilsnere? Du ved, dem der siger "hej" til dig, før du går ind i forretningen, og som sørger for, at du ikke stjæler noget? Jeg vil give en Walmart-oplevelse til Starbucks kunder."
Then one day -- and I also learned that I can actually say certain things and maximize my chance to get a yes. So for example, one day I went to a Starbucks, and asked the manager, "Hey, can I be a Starbucks greeter?" He was like, "What's a Starbucks greeter?" I said, "Do you know those Walmart greeters? You know, those people who say 'hi' to you before you walk in the store, and make sure you don't steal stuff, basically? I want to give a Walmart experience to Starbucks customers."
(Latter)
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Jeg er faktisk ikke sikker på, at det var en god ting -- Faktisk er jeg sikker på, at det er en dårlig ting. Han sagde, "Åh" -- ja, han ser sådan ud, hans navn er Eric -- og han sagde, "Jeg ved ikke." Det var sådan, han hørte mig. "Ikke sikker." Så spurgte jeg ham, "Er det sært?" Han sagde, "Ja, det er virkeligt sært." Men så snart han sagde det, ændrede hele hans attitude sig. Det var som om, han smed al tvivlen på jorden. Og han sagde, "Du kan gøre det, men bliv ikke for sær."
Well, I'm not sure that's a good thing, actually -- Actually, I'm pretty sure it's a bad thing. And he was like, "Oh" -- yeah, this is how he looked, his name is Eric -- and he was like, "I'm not sure." This is how he was hearing me. "Not sure." Then I ask him, "Is that weird?" He's like, "Yeah, it's really weird, man." But as soon as he said that, his whole demeanor changed. It's as if he's putting all the doubt on the floor. And he said, "Yeah, you can do this, just don't get too weird."
(Latter)
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Så den næste time var jeg Starbucks-hilsneren. Jeg sagde "Hej" til alle dem, der kom ind, og gav dem helligdagshilsner. Forresten, jeg kender kke, jeres karriereplaner, men bliv ikke en hilser.
So for the next hour I was the Starbucks greeter. I said "hi" to every customer that walked in, and gave them holiday cheers. By the way, I don't know what your career trajectory is, don't be a greeter.
(Latter)
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Det var virkelig kedeligt. Men jeg fandt ud af, jeg kunne gøre det, fordi jeg spurgte, "Er det sært?" Jeg omtalte den tvivl, han havde. Og fordi jeg spurgte, "Er det sært?", betød det, at jeg ikke var sær. Det betød, at jeg tænkte præcis ligesom ham, jeg betragtede det som en sær ting. Og igen og igen lærte jeg, at hvis jeg omtaler den tvivl, nogle mennesker måske har, før jeg stiller spørgsmålet, så vinder jeg deres tillid. Folk var mere tilbøjelige til at sige ja.
It was really boring. But then I found I could do this because I mentioned, "Is that weird?" I mentioned the doubt that he was having. And because I mentioned, "Is that weird?", that means I wasn't weird. That means I was actually thinking just like him, seeing this as a weird thing. And again, and again, I learned that if I mention some doubt people might have before I ask the question, I gained their trust. People were more likely to say yes to me.
Jeg lærte, at jeg kunne opnå min livsdrøm ... ved at spørge. Jeg kommer fra fire generationer af lærere, og min bedstemor har altid sagt til mig, "Jia, du kan gøre, lige hvad du vil, men det ville være skønt, hvis du blev lærer."
And then I learned I could fulfill my life dream ... by asking. You know, I came from four generations of teachers, and my grandma has always told me, "Hey Jia, you can do anything you want, but it'd be great if you became a teacher."
(Latter)
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Men jeg ville være en entreprenør. Men det har altid været min drøm rent faktisk at undervise i noget. Så jeg sagde, "Hvad hvis jeg spørger og underviser en klasse?" Dengang boede jeg i Austin, så jeg tog til University of Texas, og bankede på professorernes døre og spurgte, "Må jeg undervise din klasse?" Jeg kom ikke nogen vegne de første par gange. Men jeg løb ikke -- jeg blev ved med at prøve -- og på tredje forsøg blev professoren meget imponeret. Han sagde, "Ingen har gjort dette før." Jeg kom ind forberedt med powerpoints og min lektion. Han sagde, "Wow, jeg kan bruge det her. Kan du ikke komme igen om to måneder? Så passer jeg det ind i pensum." Og to måneder senere underviste jeg en klasse.
But I wanted to be an entrepreneur, so I didn't. But it has always been my dream to actually teach something. So I said, "What if I just ask and teach a college class?" I lived in Austin at the time, so I went to University of Texas at Austin and knocked on professors' doors and said, "Can I teach your class?" I didn't get anywhere the first couple of times. But because I didn't run -- I kept doing it -- and on the third try the professor was very impressed. He was like, "No one has done this before." And I came in prepared with powerpoints and my lesson. He said, "Wow, I can use this. Why don't you come back in two months? I'll fit you in my curriculum." And two months later I was teaching a class.
Det er mig -- det kan være svært at se, det er et dårligt billede. Nogle gange bliver man afvist af belysning.
This is me -- you probably can't see, this is a bad picture. You know, sometimes you get rejected by lighting, you know?
(Latter)
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Men, wow -- da jeg afsluttede undervisningen, gik jeg grædende ud, fordi jeg tænkte, at jeg kunne opnå min livsdrøm ved simpelthen bare at spørge. Jeg plejede at tænke, jeg skulle opnå alle mulige ting -- være en god entreprenør eller få en PhD for at undervise -- men nej, jeg spurgte bare, og så underviste jeg.
But wow -- when I finished teaching that class, I walked out crying, because I thought I could fulfill my life dream just by simply asking. I used to think I have to accomplish all these things -- have to be a great entrepreneur, or get a PhD to teach -- but no, I just asked, and I could teach.
Og på det billede, som I ikke kan se, citerede jeg Martin Luther King, Jr. Hvorfor? Fordi i min forskning fandt jeg, at de mennesker som ændrer verden, som ændrer vores levemåde, og den måde vi tænker på, er de mennesker, som blev mødt af umiddelbar og ofte voldelige afvisninger. Mennesker som Martin Luther King, Jr., Mahatma Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, endda Jesus Kristus. De mennesker lod ikke afvisninger definere dem. De lod deres egen reaktion efter en afvisning definere dem selv. Og de omfavnede afvisning.
And in that picture, which you can't see, I quoted Martin Luther King, Jr. Why? Because in my research I found that people who really change the world, who change the way we live and the way we think, are the people who were met with initial and often violent rejections. People like Martin Luther King, Jr., like Mahatma Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, or even Jesus Christ. These people did not let rejection define them. They let their own reaction after rejection define themselves. And they embraced rejection.
Vi behøves ikke være de mennesker for at lære om afvisning, og i mit tilfælde var afvisning min forbandelse, det var mit monster. Det har generet mig hele mit liv, fordi jeg prøvede at løbe væk fra det. Så begyndte jeg at omfavne det. Jeg gjorde det til den største gave i mit liv. Jeg begyndte at undervise folk i, hvordan afvisninger bliver til muligheder. Jeg bruger min blog, jeg bruger taler, jeg bruger bogen, jeg lige har udgivet, og jeg bygger endda teknologi til at hjælpe folk med at overkomme deres frygt for afvisning.
And we don't have to be those people to learn about rejection, and in my case, rejection was my curse, was my boogeyman. It has bothered me my whole life because I was running away from it. Then I started embracing it. I turned that into the biggest gift in my life. I started teaching people how to turn rejections into opportunities. I use my blog, I use my talk, I use the book I just published, and I'm even building technology to help people overcome their fear of rejection.
Når du bliver afvist i livet, når du står over for den næste udfordring eller den næste fiasko, så overvej mulighederne. Løb ikke. Hvis du bare omfavner dem, kan de måske også blive dine gaver.
When you get rejected in life, when you are facing the next obstacle or next failure, consider the possibilities. Don't run. If you just embrace them, they might become your gifts as well.
Tak.
Thank you.
(Bifald)
(Applause)