What does a working mother look like? If you ask the Internet, this is what you'll be told. Never mind that this is what you'll actually produce if you attempt to work at a computer with a baby on your lap.
职场妈妈是什么样的? 如果你在网上搜索, 得到的图片可能是这样的。 尽管你在屏幕上 敲出来的是这些东西, 这就是当你抱着孩子 在电脑前工作的结果。
(Laughter)
(笑声)
But no, this isn't a working mother. You'll notice a theme in these photos. We'll look at a lot of them. That theme is amazing natural lighting, which, as we all know, is the hallmark of every American workplace.
但是,这并不是一个 职场妈妈真正的样子。 一会儿我们还会展示一些照片, 你会发现一个共同点。 那就是绝美的自然光线, 这一点,众所周知, 是美国办公场所的标志。
There are thousands of images like these. Just put the term "working mother" into any Google image search engine, stock photo site. They're all over the Internet, they're topping blog posts and news pieces, and I've become kind of obsessed with them and the lie that they tell us and the comfort that they give us, that when it comes to new working motherhood in America, everything's fine.
这样的照片有数千张之多。 只要将“职场妈妈”, 输入谷歌图片搜索引擎, 或者图片素材网站,就能找到。 网上到处都是这样的照片, 无论是在知名博客中, 还是在新闻报道里, 这些照片让我感到不安, 因为它们在说谎, 它们在安慰我们, 说美国那些返回工作岗位的妈妈们, 一切都很顺利。
But it's not fine. As a country, we are sending millions of women back to work every year, incredibly and kind of horrifically soon after they give birth. That's a moral problem but today I'm also going to tell you why it's an economic problem.
但事实并非如此。 美国每年让数百万 刚刚生完小孩的女性 立刻开始上班, 速度之快,令人震惊, 甚至有点可怕。 这是一个道德问题, 但今天我想讲讲 为什么这还是个经济问题。
I got so annoyed and obsessed with the unreality of these images, which look nothing like my life, that I recently decided to shoot and star in a parody series of stock photos that I hoped the world would start to use just showing the really awkward reality of going back to work when your baby's food source is attached to your body. I'm just going to show you two of them.
这些虚假的照片让我感觉很难受, 因为它跟我的生活一点都不像, 于是我最近决定 自己来拍一组素材照片, 希望大家能开始使用, 我展示的都是新妈妈们 确实会遇到的尴尬情况, 因为婴儿的食物来源 是固定在妈妈身上的。 下面我放其中的两张给大家看。
(Laughter)
(笑声)
Nothing says "Give that girl a promotion" like leaking breast milk through your dress during a presentation. You'll notice that there's no baby in this photo, because that's not how this works, not for most working mothers.
这个姑娘在做产品说明, 奶水透过裙子渗出来了, 不会有人说,“让她升职吧”。 这张照片里并没有婴儿, 因为这才是现实, 大多数妈妈都不会带孩子去上班。
Did you know, and this will ruin your day, that every time a toilet is flushed, its contents are aerosolized and they'll stay airborne for hours? And yet, for many new working mothers, this is the only place during the day that they can find to make food for their newborn babies.
还有一件事,你们听了也许会疯掉, 每冲一次厕所, 脏东西会呈气雾化散开, 并在空气中悬浮几个小时。 而对于许多开始上班的新妈妈们而言, 厕所是她们白天唯一能找到的地方, 来为自己的宝宝准备食物。
I put these things, a whole dozen of them, into the world. I wanted to make a point. I didn't know what I was also doing was opening a door, because now, total strangers from all walks of life write to me all the time just to tell me what it's like for them to go back to work within days or weeks of having a baby. I'm going to share 10 of their stories with you today. They are totally real, some of them are very raw, and not one of them looks anything like this.
我拍了很多这样的照片, 好几十张,发到网上。 我原本只想表明一种态度。 但没想到这件事引起了很大的反响, 现在,来自各行各业的陌生人, 会不停地给我发邮件, 与我分享自己 生完孩子数天或者数周后, 重返工作岗位的感受。 今天我想与大家分享其中的10个故事。 这些故事都是真实的, 有些还很残酷, 完全不像这张照片这么美好。
Here's the first. "I was an active duty service member at a federal prison. I returned to work after the maximum allowed eight weeks for my C-section. A male coworker was annoyed that I had been out on 'vacation,' so he intentionally opened the door on me while I was pumping breast milk and stood in the doorway with inmates in the hallway."
这是第一个。 “我是联邦监狱一名现役狱警。 我在剖腹产后八周开始上班, 这是我能拿到的最长假期。 一名男同事对于我 “休了个长假”很不满意, 于是他故意在我挤奶的时候打开门, 站在门口,身后还站着犯人。”
Most of the stories that these women, total strangers, send to me now, are not actually even about breastfeeding.
而大部分给我发邮件的女性, 完全陌生的女性, 甚至都没提到母乳喂养的事。
A woman wrote to me to say, "I gave birth to twins and went back to work after seven unpaid weeks. Emotionally, I was a wreck. Physically, I had a severe hemorrhage during labor, and major tearing, so I could barely get up, sit or walk. My employer told me I wasn't allowed to use my available vacation days because it was budget season."
其中一个写到, “我生了一对双胞胎, 在7周无薪假期后开始上班。 精神上,我的情绪崩溃了。 生理上,我在生产过程中大出血, 还有严重撕裂伤, 我几乎起不来床, 也无法坐立或行走。 我老板告诉我, 我不能用自己的假期, 因为正赶上做预算的时期。”
I've come to believe that we can't look situations like these in the eye because then we'd be horrified, and if we get horrified then we have to do something about it. So we choose to look at, and believe, this image. I don't really know what's going on in this picture, because I find it weird and slightly creepy.
我开始相信,我们 无法接受这些情况, 因为这太可怕了, 而当我们感到害怕时, 总会做点什么来避免。 于是我们选择去浏览 并且相信这样的照片。 说实话,我看不懂这张照片, 总感觉哪里怪怪的, 甚至有点让我心里发毛。
(Laughter)
(笑声)
Like, what is she doing? But I know what it tells us. It tells us that everything's fine. This working mother, all working mothers and all of their babies, are fine. There's nothing to see here. And anyway, women have made a choice, so none of it's even our problem.
这女的到底在干嘛? 但是我明白它的目的。 它想告诉我们,一切都好。 这位职场妈妈,所有职场妈妈, 所有的婴儿,一切都好。 没什么需要关注的。 而且,这是女性们自己做出的选择, 因此跟我们没什么关系。
I want to break this choice thing down into two parts. The first choice says that women have chosen to work. So, that's not true. Today in America, women make up 47 percent of the workforce, and in 40 percent of American households a woman is the sole or primary breadwinner. Our paid work is a part, a huge part, of the engine of this economy, and it is essential for the engines of our families. On a national level, our paid work is not optional.
我想把这里的“选择”分成两部分。 第一,是女性自己选择了去工作。 然而并非如此。 如今的美国,47%的劳动力是女性, 在40%的美国家庭中间, 女性是唯一的或者主要的经济来源。 女性的有偿劳动是美国经济引擎的 一个零件,很重要的零件, 也是我们家庭经济引擎的必要零件。 从国家层面来说,女性的 有偿劳动是必须的。
Choice number two says that women are choosing to have babies, so women alone should bear the consequences of those choices. You know, that's one of those things that when you hear it in passing, can sound correct. I didn't make you have a baby. I certainly wasn't there when that happened. But that stance ignores a fundamental truth, which is that our procreation on a national scale is not optional. The babies that women, many of them working women, are having today, will one day fill our workforce, protect our shores, make up our tax base. Our procreation on a national scale is not optional. These aren't choices. We need women to work. We need working women to have babies. So we should make doing those things at the same time at least palatable, right?
第二,是女性自己选择了生孩子, 因此女性应该独自承担后果。 这话乍一听, 似乎还有点道理。 “我又没强迫你生孩子。 这事儿跟我没关系。” 但是这种态度忽略了一个基本事实, 就是生育这件事, 从国家层面来说是必须的。 女性们——其中很多是职场女性 ——今天生下的孩子, 将来会成为劳动力,成为军人, 成为纳税人。 因此,从国家层面来说, 生育是必须的。 没法进行选择。 我们需要女性去工作。 我们还需要工作的女性生孩子。 这两件事我们同时需要, 那我们至少要保证 这是可行的,对吧?
OK, this is pop quiz time: what percentage of working women in America do you think have no access to paid maternity leave? 88 percent. 88 percent of working mothers will not get one minute of paid leave after they have a baby.
好,下面是小测验时间: 你们觉得在美国, 有多少比例的职场女性 没办法取得带薪产假? 88%。 88%的职场女性在生完孩子后 得不到带薪产假。
So now you're thinking about unpaid leave. It exists in America. It's called FMLA. It does not work. Because of the way it's structured, all kinds of exceptions, half of new mothers are ineligible for it.
你也许会问,那不带薪的产假呢? 这在美国是有的,叫做 《家庭与医疗休假法案》。但是没什么用。 因为它的规定里有很多限制, 有一半的新妈妈根本达不到标准。
Here's what that looks like. "We adopted our son. When I got the call, the day he was born, I had to take off work. I had not been there long enough to qualify for FMLA, so I wasn't eligible for unpaid leave. When I took time off to meet my newborn son, I lost my job."
比如有下面这样的情况。 “我们的儿子是收养的。 他出生那天,我接到电话,需要请假。 我在公司工作的时间还不够长, 不适用《家庭与医疗休假法案》, 因此无法享受不带薪休假。 当我去见完我刚出生的儿子后, 我被开除了。”
These corporate stock photos hide another reality, another layer. Of those who do have access to just that unpaid leave, most women can't afford to take much of it at all. A nurse told me, "I didn't qualify for short-term disability because my pregnancy was considered a preexisting condition. We used up all of our tax returns and half of our savings during my six unpaid weeks. We just couldn't manage any longer. Physically it was hard, but emotionally it was worse. I struggled for months being away from my son."
这些素材照片还隐藏了 另一件事实, 那些按规定可以享受 不带薪假期的女性, 却又无法承受长时间的休假。 一位护士对我讲,“我不符合 短期无劳动能力的标准, 因为我怀孕这件事发生在前。 我花光了所有的退还税款 和一半的积蓄, 用来支付我6周无薪假期的支出。 时间再长我们就撑不住了。 首先身体就吃不消, 精神压力也让我濒临崩溃。 离开我儿子(去上班) 让我难受了好几个月。”
So this decision to go back to work so early, it's a rational economic decision driven by family finances, but it's often physically horrific because putting a human into the world is messy.
因此,早些返回工作岗位, 是由家庭经济状况决定的, 看起来合情合理, 但对于(产后妇女的) 身体而言太可怕了, 因为她们还没有完全恢复。
A waitress told me, "With my first baby, I was back at work five weeks postpartum. With my second, I had to have major surgery after giving birth, so I waited until six weeks to go back. I had third degree tears."
一位女服务员告诉我, “生完第一个小孩, 我5周后回去上班。 而生完第二个, 我在产后动了个大手术, 我休息了6周才重新开始上班。 我当时有三度撕裂。”
23 percent of new working mothers in America will be back on the job within two weeks of giving birth.
在美国,有23%的母亲 生完孩子后2周内就开始上班。
"I worked as a bartender and cook, average of 75 hours a week while pregnant. I had to return to work before my baby was a month old, working 60 hours a week. One of my coworkers was only able to afford 10 days off with her baby."
“我是一名酒吧招待和厨师, 怀孕期间平均每周工作75小时, 我不得不在孩子满月前回去上班, 每周工作60小时。 而我的一个同事只能拿到10天的产假。”
Of course, this isn't just a scenario with economic and physical implications. Childbirth is, and always will be, an enormous psychological event.
毫无疑问,(生孩子)不仅仅会影响 经济状况和身体健康。 同时,无论是现在还是将来, 它也会对心理造成巨大影响。
A teacher told me, "I returned to work eight weeks after my son was born. I already suffer from anxiety, but the panic attacks I had prior to returning to work were unbearable."
一位老师告诉我, “我是在儿子出生后8周开始上班的。 本来我就够焦虑了, 但重返工作岗位的恐慌 简直让我难以承受。”
Statistically speaking, the shorter a woman's leave after having a baby, the more likely she will be to suffer from postpartum mood disorders like depression and anxiety, and among many potential consequences of those disorders, suicide is the second most common cause of death in a woman's first year postpartum.
从统计学角度来讲, 妇女的产假越短, 她出现产后情绪失调的 可能性就越大, 比如抑郁和焦虑, 而在情绪失调 可能带来的诸多后果中, 自杀的比例很高, 它在妇女产后一年内死亡原因中 排在第二。
Heads up that this next story -- I've never met this woman, but I find it hard to get through.
请注意听下面这个故事—— 我没见过这位女士, 但她的故事让我难以释怀。
"I feel tremendous grief and rage that I lost an essential, irreplaceable and formative time with my son. Labor and delivery left me feeling absolutely broken. For months, all I remember is the screaming: colic, they said. On the inside, I was drowning. Every morning, I asked myself how much longer I could do it. I was allowed to bring my baby to work. I closed my office door while I rocked and shushed and begged him to stop screaming so I wouldn't get in trouble. I hid behind that office door every damn day and cried while he screamed. I cried in the bathroom while I washed out the pump equipment. Every day, I cried all the way to work and all the way home again. I promised my boss that the work I didn't get done during the day, I'd make up at night from home. I thought, there's just something wrong with me that I can't swing this."
“我感到强烈的悲伤和愤怒, 因为我失去了 与我儿子相处的关键的成长时期, 这段时间是无法弥补的。 分娩和生育的过程 让我筋疲力竭。 几个月来,我一直忍不住因为腹痛 而大声呻吟,他们说这是疝气。 我的内心已经濒临崩溃。 每天早晨,我都问自己还能坚持多久。 我可以带着宝宝去上班。 当他哭闹时,我别无他法, 只能关上办公室的门, 求他停止哭闹,免得我丢了工作。 我每天都躲在那扇该死的门背后, 一边哭泣一边听他哭闹。 我在洗手间 清洗挤奶器的时候也在流泪。 每一天,无论上班还是在家 我都只能以泪洗面。 我向老板保证, 白天没干完的工作, 晚上我会在家里补上。 我想,自己肯定出什么问题了, 而且我自己无法解决。”
So those are the mothers. What of the babies? As a country, do we care about the millions of babies born every year to working mothers? I say we don't, not until they're of working and tax-paying and military-serving age. We tell them we'll see them in 18 years, and getting there is kind of on them. One of the reasons I know this is that babies whose mothers have 12 or more weeks at home with them are more likely to get their vaccinations and their well checks in their first year, so those babies are more protected from deadly and disabling diseases. But those things are hidden behind images like this.
妈妈们是这种情况。 那宝宝们呢? 作为一个国家,我们对于 职场女性每年生育的 数百万婴儿是否关心呢? 我认为做得不够, 我们的关心是从他们可以 工作,纳税,服役时才开始的。 我们对孩子们说, 等你们满18岁再说吧, 在那之前你们得靠自己。 为什么说这些,原因之一是, 那些可以在家陪伴宝宝 12周或者更久的妈妈们, 在孩子一岁前,会更倾向于给宝宝打疫苗, 并且更关注宝宝的健康, 因此这些宝宝们被保护得更好, 不易夭折,也不易患病致残。 但这些事实都被隐藏在 类似这样的照片背后。
America has a message for new mothers who work and for their babies. Whatever time you get together, you should be grateful for it, and you're an inconvenience to the economy and to your employers. That narrative of gratitude runs through a lot of the stories I hear.
美国对当了妈妈的职场女性 以及她们的宝宝传递这样的信息。 无论你的产假是长是短, 都应该心怀感激, 而且你要意识到,你休产假 给经济发展和你的雇主带来了不便。 这种满怀谢意的话, 我在许多故事中都能听到。
A woman told me, "I went back at eight weeks after my C-section because my husband was out of work. Without me, my daughter had failure to thrive. She wouldn't take a bottle. She started losing weight. Thankfully, my manager was very understanding. He let my mom bring my baby, who was on oxygen and a monitor, four times a shift so I could nurse her."
一位女士告诉我, “我在剖腹产后休息了8周就上班了, 因为我丈夫没有工作。 我不在身边,女儿过得很不好。 她不愿意喝奶粉。 体重开始下降。 好在我的经理非常理解我。 他让我母亲带着宝宝来公司, 当时宝宝还输着氧,带着监视器, 这样我在上班期间能照顾她。”
There's a little club of countries in the world that offer no national paid leave to new mothers. Care to guess who they are? The first eight make up eight million in total population. They are Papua New Guinea, Suriname and the tiny island nations of Micronesia, Marshall Islands, Nauru, Niue, Palau and Tonga. Number nine is the United States of America, with 320 million people. Oh, that's it. That's the end of the list. Every other economy on the planet has found a way to make some level of national paid leave work for the people doing the work of the future of those countries, but we say, "We couldn't possibly do that." We say that the market will solve this problem, and then we cheer when corporations offer even more paid leave to the women who are already the highest-educated and highest-paid among us. Remember that 88 percent? Those middle- and low-income women are not going to participate in that. We know that there are staggering economic, financial, physical and emotional costs to this approach. We have decided -- decided, not an accident, to pass these costs directly on to working mothers and their babies. We know the price tag is higher for low-income women, therefore disproportionately for women of color. We pass them on anyway.
世界上只有少数几个国家, 没有实行全民带薪产假。 能猜到都有哪些国家吗? 前8个国家加起来只有800万人口。 有巴布亚新几内亚,苏里南 和几个小的岛国, 包括密克罗尼西亚,马绍尔群岛, 还有瑙鲁,纽埃,帕劳和汤加。 第9个就是美利坚合众国, 拥有3亿2千万人口。 哦,后面没有了。 美国是名单上最后一个。 这个星球上所有其他国家, 都有全民带薪产假,时间有长有短, 来照顾那些为了国家的未来 在工作,在生育的人们, 而我们却说,“我们可能办不到。” 我们认为市场可以解决这个问题, 大公司们给女士们更多带薪产假, 我们欢欣鼓舞, 这些女士们原本 就接受了最好的教育,拿着最高的薪水。 还记得之前说的88%吗? 那些中低收入的女性 根本无法享受这些。 我们明白,要改变这一点, 需要我们从经济、财政、生理和心理 各方面都做好充分的准备。 于是我们决定——是决定, 不是意外发生的, 将这些负担直接转移到 职场女性和她们的宝宝身上。 我们知道这些负担对那些 低收入的女性们更加沉重, 对于非白人女性更是如此。 但我们依然这样做了。
All of this is to America's shame. But it's also to America's risk. Because what would happen if all of these individual so-called choices to have babies started to turn into individual choices not to have babies.
这一切是美国的耻辱。 但同时也让美国陷入了巨大的风险。 因为,如果有一天, 所有这些“选择”要孩子的人 开始选择不要孩子,会怎么样呢?
One woman told me, "New motherhood is hard. It shouldn't be traumatic. When we talk about expanding our family now, we focus on how much time I would have to care for myself and a new baby. If we were to have to do it again the same way as with our first, we might stick with one kid."
一位女士对我说, “新时代的妈妈不好当。 本不应如此痛苦的。 当我们计划再要一个小孩时, 考虑得最多的是我能有 多少时间来照顾自己和宝宝。 如果还跟生老大的时候一样, 那我们宁愿只生一个。”
The birthrate needed in America to keep the population stable is 2.1 live births per woman. In America today, we are at 1.86. We need women to have babies, and we are actively disincentivizing working women from doing that. What would happen to work force, to innovation, to GDP, if one by one, the working mothers of this country were to decide that they can't bear to do this thing more than once?
如果要保持美国的人口稳定, 每位女性平均要生2.1个孩子。 而美国现在的数字是1.86。 我们需要女性生育孩子, 而我们却没有为她们 创造充分的条件来实现它。 如果职场女性一个个都觉得 自己无法承受再要一个孩子, 这对劳动力、创新、 国内生产总值意味着什么?
I'm here today with only one idea worth spreading, and you've guessed what it is. It is long since time for the most powerful country on Earth to offer national paid leave to the people doing the work of the future of this country and to the babies who represent that future. Childbirth is a public good. This leave should be state-subsidized. It should have no exceptions for small businesses, length of employment or entrepreneurs. It should be able to be shared between partners. I've talked today a lot about mothers, but co-parents matter on so many levels.
我今天就想表达一个观点, 你们应该已经猜到了。 作为地球上最强大的国家, 美国早就应该推行全民带薪产假了, 这不单是为了 在为美国的未来拼搏的妈妈们, 也为了代表美国未来的宝宝们。 生育是一项公益事业。 产假应由国家来补贴。 应一视同仁,无论公司大小, 工作年限长短或者老板是谁。 应该能由伴侣双方共享。 我今天讲的大部分都是妈妈, 但是伴侣中的另一半同样非常重要。
Not one more woman should have to go back to work while she is hobbling and bleeding. Not one more family should have to drain their savings account to buy a few days of rest and recovery and bonding. Not one more fragile infant should have to go directly from the incubator to day care because his parents have used up all of their meager time sitting in the NICU. Not one more working family should be told that the collision of their work, their needed work and their needed parenthood, is their problem alone.
不要再让任何女性 一瘸一拐,还流着血 就去上班了。 不要再让任何家庭花光积蓄, 仅仅为了能多休息几天,调养身体。 不要再让任何脆弱的婴儿 直接从保温箱转到托儿所, 仅仅因为他的父母 将仅有的那一点点假期都用于 守候在新生儿重症监护室。 不要再对任何家庭说, 他们作为员工和父母 这两种身份的矛盾, 只能由他们自己解决。
The catch is that when this is happening to a new family, it is consuming, and a family with a new baby is more financially vulnerable than they've ever been before, so that new mother cannot afford to speak up on her own behalf. But all of us have voices. I am done, done having babies, and you might be pre-baby, you might be post-baby, you might be no baby. It should not matter. We have to stop framing this as a mother's issue, or even a women's issue. This is an American issue.
问题在于当这一切发生在 一个新家庭时,会很让人伤脑筋, 有新生儿的家庭的财政状况 比以往任何时候都脆弱, 因此新妈妈没办法站出来 为自己的利益发声。 但我们可以发声。 我已经生完孩子了,不想再要了, 你可能准备要孩子, 你可能要完孩子了, 你可能不打算要孩子。 这都没关系。 我们不该仅仅把它看作是妈妈的事, 或者女性的事。 这是全美国的事。
We need to stop buying the lie that these images tell us. We need to stop being comforted by them. We need to question why we're told that this can't work when we see it work everywhere all over the world. We need to recognize that this American reality is to our dishonor and to our peril. Because this is not, this is not, and this is not what a working mother looks like.
我们应该停止相信这些骗人的照片。 我们应该停止从中获得安慰。 我们应该质疑,为什么美国做不到, 而其他国家都能做到。 我们应该意识到,美国的这一现实, 对我们而言是耻辱和危险。 因为这不是, 这也不是, 这些都不是,职场妈妈真实的样子。
(Applause)
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