Whenever I tell people I work at a middle school, they often lean back and suck their teeth. It's like they're having a visceral reaction to the mere mention of those years, and it makes sense. Middle school is a time like no other. It's when significant biological, neurological and emotional changes are happening all at the same time.
每当我告诉人们我在一所中学工作, 他们经常倒吸一口冷气。 简直像是只要提到了那些年 他们就会产生应激反应 这是有一些道理的。 中学是一段非常特别的时光。 这是当生理、心理和情绪 同时发生重大的变化的时候。
So how do middle schoolers respond to these changes? Well, some might ignore deodorant but overuse Axe body spray. You can find them holding up the walls during the school dance. And there's usually a desire to be treated like an adult, but they can't quite let go of their action figures.
那么中学生如何应对这些变化呢? 好吧,有些人可能忽视除臭剂 但过度使用 Axe 身体喷雾剂。 你会发现他们在 学校舞会期间缩在角落里。 他们通常都希望 被像成年人一样对待, 但他们又不能完全放弃他们的手办,
You might imagine that it looks a little like this. This was me in sixth grade, and like many middle school students, I was earnest, I was goofy, and I was just discovering who I wanted to be. Now I had no idea that I'd go on to teach middle school. They say the grade levels you teach are most reflective of your personality. So I'm not quite sure what it says about me that I later went on to found a middle school for boys.
你可能会想象它看起来有点像这样。 这是六年级的我, 和许多中学生一样, 我很认真,也很傻, 我才开始探索 自己想成为什么样的人。 我完全不知道我会去教中学。 他们说你教的年级 最能反映你的个性。 所以我不太确定对我来说它指什么 因为我后来又创办了一所男子中学。
But in all seriousness, it didn't take long as a teacher to realize that my male students were acting kind of strange. I remember there was this one year, we were doing a get-to-know-you activity where students would use old magazines to create collages representing who they were. And many of the collages had all of the things that typical middle schoolers like: the outdoors, sports, the latest fashion, the hottest shoes, you know, all the important stuff. However, there were some that were not exactly what I had in mind. A group of middle school boys created these collages that were comical, if not concerning. It was almost as if they had made templates of who they thought that they should be. Girls in bikinis, fast cars, professional wrestlers, first-person shooter video games. You get the idea. One collage actually had to have had at least 25 different images of Kim Kardashian.
但说真的, 当老师没多久 我就意识到我的男学生们 表现得有点奇怪。 我记得有一年, 我们正在做一个“介绍自己”的活动 学生们会用旧杂志 来创作代表了他们自己的拼贴画。 许多拼贴画 都有典型中学生喜欢的所有东西: 户外、运动、 新潮时尚、最热门的鞋子, 你懂的,所有重要的东西。 但是,有些内容 并不完全符合我的想象。 一群中学生创作了这些有趣, 但又有些令人担忧的拼贴画。 就好像他们已经为自己应该成为的人 制作了模板。 比基尼女孩、快车、职业摔跤手、 第一人称射击游戏。 你知道的。 一所学校实际要有 至少25 种 对金·卡戴珊不同的印象
And this wasn't an isolated incident. Whether it was going down a somewhat sketchy YouTube rabbit hole or mindlessly indulging in meme culture, which we know can get really hairy really fast, I was noticing a pattern with my boys. Instead of chalking it up as mindless activities or typical middle school behavior, I decided to investigate. I became a mentor for an afterschool program called My Brother's Keeper. And in this space, we could have more in-depth conversations. Inspired by the 2016 presidential debates, I asked this group of boys an age-old question: “Does absolute power corrupt absolutely?” Students began to discuss amongst themselves. And then I asked, "Now what would you do if you had this kind of power? And what if it was unchecked?" Students continued talking and then they shared out. Many of them said that they would use their power for good or even share it. And as I listened, I felt hopeful. Realizing that young men could take a different path.
这不是一个单独的事件。 无论是进入一个感觉哪里 都不太对的YouTube世界, 还是盲目地沉迷于那些 火得很快的梗文化, 我开始注意到我 的孩子们的一种模式。 我并没有将其当作随意打闹 或当作典型的中学行为, 我决定进行调查。 我成为了一个名为“兄弟的守护者” 的课后项目的导师。 在这个空间里, 我们可以进行更深入的对话。 受到2016 年总统辩论的启发, 我向这群男孩提出了 一个老生常谈的问题: “绝对权力是否绝对腐败?” 同学们开始议论纷纷。 然后我问, “如果你有这种权利,你会做什么? 如果它不受管理怎么办?” 学生们又继续开始讨论,然后分享。 他们中的许多人表示, 他们会善用自己 的权利,甚至分享它。 当我听的时候,我感到充满希望。 我意识到年轻人 可以选择走不同的道路。
And then I brought the group together and I just said, "Does it have to be this way?" Their collective light bulbs lit up, realizing that they could reject this version of masculinity. And at the same time, I too had an “aha!” moment. It became clear to me that middle school boys are so impressionable and so full of potential. But what if I told you those same middle school boys could lead us to a more just and equitable society by redefining masculinity?
然后我把大家召集在一起,我说, “一定只能这样吗?” 他们的思维灯泡亮了起来, 意识到他们可以拒绝这种男子气概。 同时,我也有了一个“啊哈!”瞬间 我越来越确定,中学男生是 如此易受影响,如此充满潜力。 但如果我告诉你, 同样是这些男中学生 只要通过重新定义男子气概 他们可以带领我们走向一个 更加公正和公平的社会?
Now in the days and weeks that followed, I continued to reflect on this idea. What actually is masculinity? If we reject the gender binary and affirm people of all genders, how does masculinity fit into that? What are the expectations of masculinity when it comes to race, class and other social factors?
在接下来的几天和几周里, 我继续反思这个想法。 究竟什么是男子气概? 如果我们拒绝“性别二元论” 并肯定所有性别的人, 那么男子气概如何融入其中? 当涉及种族、 阶级和其他社会因素时, 我们对男性气质的期望是什么?
I knew that middle school is fertile ground for this work. And my reflection led me to identify three critical skills that middle schoolers can practice to redefine masculinity. I call them the three C's. The first one is confidence, the second is communication, and the third is community. Now these three C's stand as the pillars of my school to show people that middle schoolers can redefine masculinity.
我知道中学是这项工作的沃土。 我的反思让我确定了三项中学生可以 练习重新定义男子气概的关键技能 我称它们为三个 C。 第一个是信心(confidence), 第二是沟通(communication), 第三是社区(community)。 现在,这三个 C 作为我学校的支柱, 向人们展示了中学生 可以重新定义男子气概。
Now number one, confidence is essential to teach in middle school. Students are exploring their identities, and they're more open to abstract thinking. I believe that having a healthy and balanced confidence allows boys to feel good about who they are rather than feeling uncomfortable for trying to be someone they're not. It’s different than simply being praised or rewarded for achievements but rather rooted in a deep sense of self. And so what my school does is move away from either-or thinking. Instead of boys believing that they have to choose between being smart or athletic, poetic or pragmatic, we guide our boys to a more holistic version of masculinity that includes both-and. And as bell hooks and Olga Silverstein said, we need men who are empathetic and strong; autonomous and connected; responsible to self, friends, family, to community; and capable of understanding how those responsibilities are ultimately inseparable. And from a purely academic standpoint, we provide opportunities to teach confidence through cross-curricular work and projects that include math, science, the humanities, art, home ec, sports to show them that deep learning and critical thinking often require an integration of all of these subjects. Teaching confidence allows boys to understand that there’s an entire spectrum of how they can express themselves, and they can feel good and value the complexity of their identity and stand firm in it with confidence.
第一,我们必须要在中学教自信。 学生正在探索他们的身份, 他们更愿意接受抽象思维 我相信拥有健康和平衡的自信 可以让男孩们对自我感觉良好, 而不会因为试图成为他们不是 的人而感到不舒服。 这不同于简单地因成就 而受到表扬或奖励 而是源于深刻的自我意识。 所以我的学校所做的是 摆脱非此即彼的思考。 男孩们不必再认为他们必须要选择 要么聪明要么运动、 要么充满诗意要么务实 我们引导我们的男孩们 去获得更全面的男子气概 这包括两者兼而有之。 正如Bell Hooks 和 Olga Silverstein 所说, 我们需要有同情心和坚强的人; 既能自理也能与他人相处; 对自己、朋友、家人、 和社区负责; 并且能够理解 这些责任始终是不可分割的。 从纯粹的学术角度来看, 我们提供了学习自信的机会 通过跨学科的工作和项目, 包括数学、科学、人文、 艺术、家政、体育, 向他们展示深度学习和批判性思维 通常需要整合所有这些学科。 通过教会他们自信,男孩们明白 他们有很多方式来表达自己, 他们可以感觉良好 并重视他们身份的复杂性 并怀着信心坚定地站在其中。
The second C represents communication. Now communication is key. To counter the messages that society tells boys to constrict their emotions, my school practices a variety of communication methods, both intrapersonally and interpersonally. Now intrapersonally is how you communicate with yourself, and interpersonally is how you communicate with others. One example of our intrapersonal communication methods is we'll have students arrive at their desks at the beginning of the day. They'll close their eyes, breathe evenly for about a minute so they can just check in with themselves, see how they're doing, what they're thinking, how they're feeling. It allows them to put a frame around their thoughts and emotions so they can focus on it a little more deeply throughout the day. Students also keep gratitude journals. Research shows that when students express gratitude on a regular basis, it increases positive emotions toward themselves and toward others. An interpersonal practice that we like to do is at the end of the day, we'll have students gather in a circle to offer an appreciation for someone or something. Open it up to an apology or talk about a social issue that might be on their hearts. And we normalize these forms of communication to show boys that it is perfectly human to open your minds and your hearts to your community.
第二个C代表交流 沟通是关键。 为了反驳这个告诉男孩们 要抑制情绪的社会, 我的学校会练习多种沟通方式, 包括内省和人际交流。 内省是你与自己沟通的方式, 人际关系是你与他人沟通的方式。 举例一个我们练习自省的方法 我们会在一天的开始 让学生坐在他们的桌前 他们会闭上眼睛, 均匀地呼吸大约一分钟, 这样他们就可以检查自己, 看看自己怎么样, 在想什么,感觉如何。 它可以让他们为自己的想法和情绪 设定一个框架, 这样他们就可以在一天中 更深入地关注它。 学生还会写感恩日记。 研究表明,当学生 定期表达感激之情时, 它会增加对自己和他人的积极情绪。 而我们喜欢做的人际交往练习是 在一天结束时, 我们会让学生围成一圈, 对某人或某事表示感谢 敞开心扉的道歉 或者谈论他们可能关心的社会问题。 我们将这些交流形式规范化 向男孩们表明,你完全可以 向你的思想,你的心灵 以及你的社区敞开心扉。
Now the third C represents community, to counter this false sense of individualism and having to pull yourself up by your bootstraps. While we also know that there is great value in teaching our boys the importance of independence, it can be stymied when taken to an extreme. And so what we do is we engage in an inquiry process where we observe what's going on in our communities, either locally, nationally or globally, and then pose an essential question. One year we posed an essential question to our students that asked, "How can we create a community where everyone feels a sense of belonging?" Students took this question. They generated initial thoughts. They sought multiple perspectives from their peers, their teachers, community leaders. And then they came back to us and said, "We'd like to address homelessness in Seattle." We loved this idea. And so we partnered with a local construction company to design, build and donate a tiny house. Now what we realized is through this community learning process, students felt a greater sense of satisfaction with studying, taking academic risks and just valuing the overall learning process. In addition, students felt more comfortable taking on leadership roles inside and outside of the classroom.
现在第三个C代表社区 为了对抗这种错误的个人主义意识 导致人们觉得只能靠自己 的力量振作起来。 尽管我们也知道教导我们的男孩 独立的重要性有很大的价值, 但如果走向极端, 它反而会变成阻碍。 所以我们所做的是参与访问调查, 观察我们社区中发生的事情, 范围可以在地方、国家或全球 然后提出一个重点问题。 有一年,我们向 学生提出了一个重点问题, “我们如何创建一个 让每个人都有归属感的社区?” 学生们接受了这个问题。 并产生了一些的想法。 他们从同龄人、老师 和社区领袖那里寻求多种观点。 然后他们回来对我们说, “我们想解决西雅图 的无家可归问题。” 我们很喜欢这个主意。 因此,我们与当地一家建筑公司合作 设计、建造并捐赠了一座小房子。 我们意识到, 通过这个社区学习过程, 学生对学习、承担学术风险 感到更加满意。 也更加重视整个学习过程 此外,学生感觉更舒适 在课堂内外担任领导角色。
One thing to note that in each of these three C's the adults involved modeled this new version of masculinity to prove to students that they don't have to fit into a stereotype. And while I'm often impressed by the vulnerability and kindness of each of my students, it's still a middle school. It's this liminal space between childhood and adulthood. And amongst our sophisticated conversations, there's a lot of nonsensical humor. And very few of them have taken up regular usage of deodorant.
需要注意的是,在每一个C 中 参与其中的成年人 都模仿了这种新的男性气质, 以向学生证明 他们不必适应刻板印象。 虽然我经常钦佩于 每个学生的脆弱和善良, 它仍然是一所中学。 这是童年和成年之间 的这个临界空间。 在我们复杂的谈话中, 有很多荒谬的幽默。 而且他们中很少有人 会长期使用除臭剂。
(Laughter)
(笑声)
And I know that this is lifelong work and there's no quick fix, but they show me that a better future is possible. What if masculinity meant having a healthy and balanced confidence, communicating clearly, being connected to your community? Just imagine how different our world would be. My students don't even show me that this future is possible, but this future is here, with middle school boys leading the way.
我知道这是终生的工作, 没有快速解决办法, 但它们告诉我, 一个更美好的未来是可能的。 如果男子气概意味着 拥有健康和平衡的自信、 清晰的沟通、与社会紧密连接? 想象一下我们的世界会有多么不同。 我的学生甚至没有向我 证明这个未来是可能的, 但这个未来就在这里, 由中学男生带路。
Thank you.
谢谢。
(Applause)
(掌声)