When I look in the mirror today, I see a justice and education scholar at Columbia University, a youth mentor, an activist and a future New York state senator.
今天,對著鏡子, 我看見一位哥倫比亞大學的 司法及教育學者、 一位青年導師、一位社會運動者, 以及一位未來的紐約州參議員。
(Cheering)
(歡呼)
I see all of that and a man who spent a quarter of his life in state prison -- six years, to be exact, starting as a teenager on Rikers Island for an act that nearly cost a man his life. But what got me from there to here wasn't the punishment I faced as a teenager in adult prison or the harshness of our legal system. Instead, it was a learning environment of a classroom that introduced me to something I didn't think was possible for me or our justice system as a whole.
我能看到我的現在和未來, 也明白我的過去,是一位四分之一的 人生都在州立監獄中渡過的男子—— 明確來說,有六年時間。 事情的開端是 里克斯島的一名青少年 差點犯了一項害死人命的罪刑。 但,把我從那裡帶到這裡的, 並不是我青少年時期 在成人監獄中所面對的懲罰, 也不是我們司法制度的嚴厲。 反而是一間教室中的學習環境, 在其中,我接觸到了我認為在我身上 或整體司法制度中不可能發生的事。
A few weeks before my release on parole, a counselor encouraged me to enroll in a new college course being offered in the prison. It was called Inside Criminal Justice. That seems pretty straightforward, though, right? Well, it turns out, the class would be made up of eight incarcerated men and eight assistant district attorneys. Columbia University psychology professor Geraldine Downey and Manhattan Assistant DA Lucy Lang co-taught the course, and it was the first of its kind.
在我假釋出獄的前幾週, 心理輔導師鼓勵我報名參加在監獄中 提供的一門新的大學課程。 它叫做「刑事司法的內幕」。 聽起來很直接,對吧? 結果發現, 這班的成員包括八名在監的男子, 以及八名助理地方檢察官。 哥倫比亞大學的 心理學教授潔若丁·道尼 以及曼哈頓助理檢察官 露西·連恩共同教授這門課, 它是這類課程的始祖。
I can honestly say this wasn't how I imagined starting college. My mind was blown from day one. I assumed all the prosecutors in the room would be white. But I remember walking into the room on the first day of class and seeing three black prosecutors and thinking to myself, "Wow, being a black prosecutor -- that's a thing!"
我老實說, 我完全沒有想像到 我會這樣開始大學生涯。 打從第一天開始我就感到驚奇, 我以為房間中的所有 檢察官都會是白人。 但,我記得,在開課的 第一天我走進房間, 看見三名檢察官是黑人, 我心想: 「哇,黑人當檢察官—— 有這種事!」
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
By the end of the first session, I was all in. In fact, a few weeks after my release, I found myself doing something I prayed I wouldn't. I walked right back into prison. But thankfully, this time it was just as a student, to join my fellow classmates. And this time, I got to go home when class was over.
在第一堂課的尾聲, 我已全部投入。 事實上,在我獲釋後幾週, 我竟然做了一件過去我曾祈禱 不會再犯的事情。 我又走回監獄了。 但,謝天謝地, 這次我的身分只是學生, 我是去加入我的同學們。 這次, 在下課後我可以回家去。
In the next session, we talked about what had brought each of us to this point of our lives and into the classroom together. I eventually got comfortable enough to reveal my truth to everyone in the room about where I came from. I talked about how my sisters and I watched our mother suffer years of abuse at the hands of our stepfather, escaping, only to find ourselves living in a shelter. I talked about how I swore an oath to my family to keep them safe. I even explained how I didn't feel like a teenager at 13, but more like a soldier on a mission. And like any soldier, this meant carrying an emotional burden on my shoulders, and I hate to say it, but a gun on my waist. And just a few days after my 17th birthday, that mission completely failed.
在下一堂課,我們每個人談到 自己怎麼走到生命中的這個時點, 並一起走進這間教室。 我最後相當安心, 因為我能敞開心胸地 向房間中的所有人揭露出 關於我來自何方的真相。 我談論到我和我的姐妹 是如何看著我們的母親 多年來在繼父手中受虐, 逃開了,發現我們只能住進收容所。 我談到我對家人發誓, 要確保他們的安全。 我甚至解釋了我不覺得 自己是個十三歲的青少年, 我比較像是出任務的士兵。 和所有的士兵一樣, 我肩上背負著情緒重擔, 以及,我很不想說的, 我不該像士兵一樣在腰間插一把槍。 在我十七歲生日後幾天, 那個任務完全失敗了。
As my sister and I were walking to the laundromat, a crowd stopped in front of us. Two girls out of nowhere attacked my sister. Still confused about what was happening, I tried to pull one girl away, and just as I did, I felt something brush across my face. With my adrenaline rushing, I didn't realize a man had leaped out of the crowd and cut me. As I felt warm blood ooze down my face, and watching him raise his knife toward me again, I turned to defend myself and pulled that gun from my waistband and squeezed the trigger. Thankfully, he didn't lose his life that day. My hands shaking and heart racing, I was paralyzed in fear. From that moment, I felt regret that would never leave me.
當我和我妹妹一起 走去自助洗衣店時, 一群人在我們面前停下來。 不知哪裡冒出來的 兩個女孩攻擊了我妹妹。 我一邊困惑到底怎麼回事, 一邊試圖把一個女孩拉開, 當我這麼做時,我感到 有什麼東西掃過我的臉。 我的腎上腺素飆高, 我沒有意會到那群人中 有一名男子跳出來並割傷了我。 就在我感覺到熱熱的血液 從我臉上流下時, 看著他再次舉刀朝我砍來時, 我開始自我防禦, 把槍從腰帶上拔出來, 扣下了扳機。 謝天謝地,那天他沒有丟掉性命。 我的雙手發抖,心跳加速, 恐懼讓我癱瘓了。 從那一刻開始, 我就感到了永遠揮之不去的後悔。
I learned later on they attacked my sister in a case of mistaken identity, thinking she was someone else. It was terrifying, but clear that I wasn't trained, nor was I qualified, to be the soldier that I thought I needed to be. But in my neighborhood, I only felt safe carrying a weapon.
我後來才知道,他們攻擊 我妹妹是因為認錯人了, 他們以為她是另一個人。 當時十分嚇人, 但,很顯然,我沒有受過訓練, 也不夠格成為我認為 我所必須要扮演的士兵角色。 但,在我住的地區, 只有帶著武器才能讓我感到安全。
Now, back in the classroom, after hearing my story, the prosecutors could tell I never wanted to hurt anyone. I just wanted us to make it home. I could literally see the gradual change in each of their faces as they heard story after story from the other incarcerated men in the room. Stories that have trapped many of us within the vicious cycle of incarceration, that most haven't been able to break free of. And sure -- there are people who commit terrible crimes. But the stories of these individuals' lives before they commit those acts were the kinds of stories these prosecutors had never heard.
回到教室裡, 在聽完我的故事之後, 檢察官可以分辨得出來, 我從來沒有想要傷害任何人。 我只希望我們能平安回到家。 我真的可以看到他們 臉上的神情漸漸在改變, 隨著他們聽了房間中 其他在監者所講的故事 而漸漸在改變。 這些故事讓我們許多人被困在 監禁的惡性循環當中, 大部分人都無法脫身。 當然,有人犯下很可怕的罪行。 但這些人在做出 那些行為之前的生活, 是那些檢察官從來沒有聽過的故事。
And when it was their turn to speak -- the prosecutors -- I was surprised, too. They weren't emotionless drones or robocops, preprogrammed to send people to prison. They were sons and daughters, brothers and sisters. But most of all, they were good students. They were ambitious and motivated. And they believed that they could use the power of law to protect people. They were on a mission that I could definitely understand.
輪到檢察官說話時, 我也同樣驚訝。 他們並非是沒有情緒的 機器人或機器戰警, 也不是預設立場 就是要把人送進大牢。 他們也是別人的兒子和女兒, 別人的兄弟姐妹。 但,最重要的,他們都是好學生。 他們有野心,有動力。 他們相信他們可以 用法律的力量來保護人民。 我絕對可以了解他們所投身的使命。
Midway through the course, Nick, a fellow incarcerated student, poured out his concern that the prosecutors were tiptoeing around the racial bias and discrimination within our criminal justice system. Now, if you've ever been to prison, you would know it's impossible to talk about justice reform without talking about race. So we silently cheered for Nick and were eager to hear the prosecutors' response. And no, I don't remember who spoke first, but when Chauncey Parker, a senior prosecutor, agreed with Nick and said he was committed to ending the mass incarceration of people of color, I believed him. And I knew we were headed in the right direction. We now started to move as a team. We started exploring new possibilities and uncovering truths about our justice system and how real change happens for us.
課程到一半的時候, 一位在監的學生尼克 丟出了他的擔憂, 他擔心檢察官是在司法體制中 踮著腳走在種族偏見和歧視上。 如果你曾經到過監獄, 你就會知道,在那裡, 若要談論司法改革, 就一定會談到種族。 所以,我們無聲地為尼克歡呼, 且很渴望聽聽檢察官會怎麼回應。 不,我不記得誰先開口, 但當資深檢察官強西•帕克認同尼克 並說他承諾要終止 有色人種的大規模監禁時, 我相信他。 我知道我們在朝著正確的方向前進。 我們現在是一個團隊,一起前進。 我們開始探索新的可能性, 揭露出我們司法體制中的真相, 以及思考我們要如何真正做出改變。
For me, it wasn't the mandatory programs inside of the prison. Instead, it was listening to the advice of elders -- men who have been sentenced to spend the rest of their lives in prison. These men helped me reframe my mindset around manhood. And they instilled in me all of their aspirations and goals, in the hopes that I would never return to prison, and that I would serve as their ambassador to the free world. As I talked, I could see the lights turning on for one prosecutor, who said something I thought was obvious: that I had transformed despite my incarceration and not because of it.
對我來說,這不只是 在監獄中的強制參加的計畫, 而是在傾聽前輩的忠告—— 這些前輩是被判終身監禁的人。 這些人讓我改變了 對於男子氣概的態度。 他們慢慢向我說明 他們的希望和目標, 希望我永遠不會再回到監獄, 而我,會扮演他們 在自由世界的大使, 當我說話時,我看見了一位 檢察官的光明面, 我認為他已經明白地說明: 我會轉變雖然是因為我被關過, 但不是主要原因。
It was clear these prosecutors hadn't thought much about what happens to us after they win a conviction. But through the simple process of sitting in a classroom, these lawyers started to see that keeping us locked up didn't benefit our community or us.
很顯然,這些檢察官並沒有考慮到 他們贏得判決後, 我們會發生什麼事。 但透過坐在教室裡的這個簡單過程, 這些律師開始了解, 將我們一直關起來 對我們的社區或我們都沒有益處。
Toward the end of the course, the prosecutors were excited, as we talked about our plans for life after being released. But they hadn't realized how rough it was actually going to be. I can literally still see the shock on one of the junior ADA's face when it hit her: the temporary ID given to us with our freedom displayed that we were just released from prison. She hadn't imagined how many barriers this would create for us as we reenter society. But I could also see her genuine empathy for the choice we had to make between coming home to a bed in a shelter or a couch in a relative's overcrowded apartment.
在課程尾聲,檢查官們很興奮地 跟我們談論我們 被釋放之後的人生計畫。 但他們並不知道, 出獄之後其實會有多艱苦。 我還記得其中一位助理地方檢察官 當時臉上的驚訝表情: 我們獲得自由時 所拿到的臨時身分證件 顯示出我們剛從監獄獲釋。 她沒辦法想像在我們 重新回到社會中時, 那會給我們帶來多少障礙。 但我也能看出她真的很同情 我們必須做出的選擇, 是要去睡在收容所的床, 還是擠在親戚家的沙發上。
What we learned in the class worked its way into concrete policy recommendations. We presented our proposals to the state Department of Corrections commissioner and to the Manhattan DA, at our graduation in a packed Columbia auditorium. As a team, I couldn't have imagined a more memorable way to conclude our eight weeks together.
我們在那堂課上所學到的, 最後變成了實在的政策建議。 我們將我們的提案 上呈給州矯正司的長官 以及曼哈頓的地方檢察官, 且是在擠滿人的畢業會堂中上呈。 身為一個團隊, 我無法想像還有什麼更難忘的方式 可以一起為我們的這八週畫下句點。
And just 10 months after coming home from prison, I again found myself in a strange room, invited by the commissioner of NYPD to share my perspective at a policing summit. And while speaking, I recognized a familiar face in the audience. It was the attorney who prosecuted my case. Seeing him, I thought about our days in the courtroom seven years earlier, as I listened to him recommend a long prison sentence, as if my young life was meaningless and had no potential. But this time, the circumstances were different. I shook off my thoughts and walked over to shake his hand. He looked happy to see me. Surprised, but happy. He acknowledged how proud he was about being in that room with me, and we began a conversation about working together to improve the conditions of our community.
從監獄回到家大約十個月後, 我再次發現自己身處在 一間奇怪的房間中, 這次是受到紐約市警局的局長邀請, 去治安高峰會分享我的觀點。 演說時, 我在觀眾中看到了一張熟悉的面孔。 是起訴我的案件的律師。 看到他, 我想起了我們在法庭中的日子, 七年前, 我聽著他建議讓我坐很久的牢, 就好像我的年輕生命毫無意義、 毫無潛力。 但,這次, 情況不同了。 我擺脫掉我的想法, 走過去和他握手。 他看起來很高興見到我。 很驚訝,但仍是高興的。 他承認他有多驕傲能夠 和我一同在那間房間中, 我們開始談到一起合作 來改善我們社區的狀況。
And so today, I carry all of these experiences with me, as I develop the Justice Ambassadors Youth Council at Columbia University, bringing young New Yorkers -- some who have already spent time locked up and others who are still enrolled in high school -- together with city officials. And in this classroom, everyone will brainstorm ideas about improving the lives of our city's most vulnerable youth before they get tried within the criminal justice system.
所以,現今, 我帶著所有這些經歷, 在哥倫比亞大學發展 「司法大使青年會」, 將年輕的紐約人—— 有些人已經被關過一段時間, 其他的還在就讀高中—— 和市官員結合。 在這間教室中, 大家一起腦力激盪, 思考如何為我們城市中 最脆弱的青年改善生活, 在他們被司法體制 審判之前採取行動。
This is possible if we do the work. Our society and justice system has convinced us that we can lock up our problems and punish our way out of social challenges. But that's not real. Imagine with me for a second a future where no one can become a prosecutor, a judge, a cop or even a parole officer without first sitting in a classroom to learn from and connect with the very people whose lives will be in their hands.
如果我們去做,這是有可能的。 我們的社會和司法體制 一直在說服我們, 可以把我們的問題關起來, 用懲罰來擺脫社會挑戰。 但,實情並非如此。 和我一起想像一下, 在未來,任何人若想要當 檢察官、 法官、 警察, 或甚至假釋官, 就必須要先坐在教室中, 了解和連結那些 命運將會被交到他們手上的人。
I'm doing my part to promote the power of conversations and the need for collaborations. It is through education that we will arrive at a truth that is inclusive and unites us all in the pursuit of justice. For me, it was a brand-new conversation and a new kind of classroom that showed me how both my mindset and our criminal justice system could be transformed.
我這邊能做的是提倡對談的力量 以及合作的必要性。 必須要透過教育, 我們才會達到包容的真相, 這真相能將我們所有人 在追求正義的過程中團結起來。 對我來說,這是全新的對談, 新式的教室, 它可以向我展現,我心中的想法 以及刑事司法體制將會如何轉變。
They say the truth shall set you free. But I believe it's education and communication.
大家都說,真相會解放你。 但我相信, 能解放你的,是教育和溝通。
Thank you.
謝謝。
(Applause)
(掌聲)