When I look in the mirror today, I see a justice and education scholar at Columbia University, a youth mentor, an activist and a future New York state senator.
今天照镜子时, 我的看到的是一个 哥伦比亚大学的司法与教育学者, 一位年轻导师,一名积极分子, 和一名未来的纽约州参议员。
(Cheering)
(欢呼声)
I see all of that and a man who spent a quarter of his life in state prison -- six years, to be exact, starting as a teenager on Rikers Island for an act that nearly cost a man his life. But what got me from there to here wasn't the punishment I faced as a teenager in adult prison or the harshness of our legal system. Instead, it was a learning environment of a classroom that introduced me to something I didn't think was possible for me or our justice system as a whole.
我看到了我所有的这些身份, 和一个曾在州立监狱 度过四分之一生命的人。 准确的说,是整整六年。 从我青少年时期差点害得 一个人失去生命开始, 我就在里克岛(纽约监狱)服刑。 但是使我从那里走到这里的, 并不是我青少年时期 在成人监狱所面对的惩罚, 也不是司法系统的严厉。 事实上,一切全因 某个教室的学习环境。 在那里我接触到了我曾认为对我, 或整个司法系统来说 都遥不可及的东西。
A few weeks before my release on parole, a counselor encouraged me to enroll in a new college course being offered in the prison. It was called Inside Criminal Justice. That seems pretty straightforward, though, right? Well, it turns out, the class would be made up of eight incarcerated men and eight assistant district attorneys. Columbia University psychology professor Geraldine Downey and Manhattan Assistant DA Lucy Lang co-taught the course, and it was the first of its kind.
在我假释的前几周, 一名法律顾问鼓励我参与到 向监狱服刑人员提供的 一门新的大学课程中来。 课程的名字是《司法正义研究》。 听上去是不是简而易懂? 事实上, 这门课上的学生是由 八名被监禁的犯人, 和八名地方检察官助理组成。 哥伦比亚大学的心理学教授 Geraldine Downey 和曼哈顿地区助理检察官Lucy Lang 一同教授了这门 独一无二的课程。
I can honestly say this wasn't how I imagined starting college. My mind was blown from day one. I assumed all the prosecutors in the room would be white. But I remember walking into the room on the first day of class and seeing three black prosecutors and thinking to myself, "Wow, being a black prosecutor -- that's a thing!"
老实说, 这并不是我想象中大学生活的开始。 从第一天开始我的思想 就受到了冲击。 我本以为屋子里的 检察官都会是白人。 但我记得当我第一天走进教室时, 看到有三名检察官都是黑人, 我就在心里想着: “哇,当一个黑人检察官—— 可能是最近的潮流!”
(Laughter)
(笑声)
By the end of the first session, I was all in. In fact, a few weeks after my release, I found myself doing something I prayed I wouldn't. I walked right back into prison. But thankfully, this time it was just as a student, to join my fellow classmates. And this time, I got to go home when class was over.
在第一阶段的课程结束时, 我已经全身心投入了。 实际上,在我被释放的数周后, 我发现自己在做着我曾祈祷 自己不会再做的事情。 我再一次走进了监狱。 幸亏这次我的身份是一个学生, 成为同学们中的一员。 而且这次, 我可以在课堂结束的时候回家。
In the next session, we talked about what had brought each of us to this point of our lives and into the classroom together. I eventually got comfortable enough to reveal my truth to everyone in the room about where I came from. I talked about how my sisters and I watched our mother suffer years of abuse at the hands of our stepfather, escaping, only to find ourselves living in a shelter. I talked about how I swore an oath to my family to keep them safe. I even explained how I didn't feel like a teenager at 13, but more like a soldier on a mission. And like any soldier, this meant carrying an emotional burden on my shoulders, and I hate to say it, but a gun on my waist. And just a few days after my 17th birthday, that mission completely failed.
在下一阶段的课程中, 我们讨论了是什么 让我们成为现在的我们, 并一起出现在这个教室中。 我最终还是做到了: 把我为什么出现在这里 告诉了班上的所有人。 我告诉了他们,我和我的妹妹 是如何看着我们的母亲 我们的母亲被继父虐待了数年, 最终我们逃了出来,生活在避难所里。 我告诉了他们我当时是如何宣誓 要保障全家人的安全。 我甚至向他们解释了当我13岁时 如何感觉自己不像是一名青少年, 而像是一名正在执行任务的士兵。 并且,就像是任何一名士兵, 这意味着我的肩膀上 承载着情感的包袱, 尽管我不想承认, 但是我还有一把别在腰间的枪。 就在我17岁生日后几天, 我的任务完全失败了。
As my sister and I were walking to the laundromat, a crowd stopped in front of us. Two girls out of nowhere attacked my sister. Still confused about what was happening, I tried to pull one girl away, and just as I did, I felt something brush across my face. With my adrenaline rushing, I didn't realize a man had leaped out of the crowd and cut me. As I felt warm blood ooze down my face, and watching him raise his knife toward me again, I turned to defend myself and pulled that gun from my waistband and squeezed the trigger. Thankfully, he didn't lose his life that day. My hands shaking and heart racing, I was paralyzed in fear. From that moment, I felt regret that would never leave me.
我和我的妹妹走在 去自助洗衣店的路上, 在我们面前出现了一群人。 两个不知道从哪儿来的女孩 攻击了我的妹妹。 当我还弄不清楚到底发生了什么的时候, 我试图把其中一名女孩拉离我的妹妹, 正当我这么做的时候, 我感觉有什么东西流淌过我的脸颊。 我的肾上腺素狂飙, 这时,有名男子从人群中 跳了出来拿刀砍向我。 正当我感觉到温热的血 在我的脸上缓慢流淌时, 我看到他又一次拿刀朝我挥了过来, 我试图掏出那把 别在腰间的枪来保护我自己, 并扣下了扳机。 幸好,他没在那天失去他的生命。 我的手颤抖着,心跳加速, 我在恐惧中被吓得不能动。 从那时开始, 我就感受到了永远也不会 离开我的悔恨之情。
I learned later on they attacked my sister in a case of mistaken identity, thinking she was someone else. It was terrifying, but clear that I wasn't trained, nor was I qualified, to be the soldier that I thought I needed to be. But in my neighborhood, I only felt safe carrying a weapon.
后来我了解了到,他们之所以 攻击我的妹妹是因为认错了人, 他们以为我的妹妹是另一个人。 那是一次恐怖的经历, 很显然,我没有经过训练, 也不够资格 来成为一名我以为 我需要变成的士兵。 但在我的社区里, 我只有持有武器的时候 才感觉到安全。
Now, back in the classroom, after hearing my story, the prosecutors could tell I never wanted to hurt anyone. I just wanted us to make it home. I could literally see the gradual change in each of their faces as they heard story after story from the other incarcerated men in the room. Stories that have trapped many of us within the vicious cycle of incarceration, that most haven't been able to break free of. And sure -- there are people who commit terrible crimes. But the stories of these individuals' lives before they commit those acts were the kinds of stories these prosecutors had never heard.
当我在那间教室 讲述了我的故事以后, 检察官们能看得出来 我并没有想伤害任何人。 我只想我和妹妹能平安到家。 在检察官们听了 班里其它被监禁的人 各自的故事时,我几乎能看见 他们每一个人 脸上的表情在逐渐变化。 那些故事把我们很多人都 圈在残酷的监禁中, 而大多数的人都走不出那个圈。 的确,有些人犯下了可怕的罪行。 但那些在这些人犯罪之前 所发生的故事 是这些检察官们从未听说过的。
And when it was their turn to speak -- the prosecutors -- I was surprised, too. They weren't emotionless drones or robocops, preprogrammed to send people to prison. They were sons and daughters, brothers and sisters. But most of all, they were good students. They were ambitious and motivated. And they believed that they could use the power of law to protect people. They were on a mission that I could definitely understand.
当轮到这些检察官们说话的时候, 我也感到很惊讶。 他们并不是被编好程序 送人进监狱的 没有感情的无人机或机械警察。 他们也是别人的儿女, 别人的兄弟姐妹。 但最重要的是,他们是好学生。 他们踌躇满志,充满动力。 并且他们相信自己能用 法律的力量来保护民众。 他们在执行一项 我绝对能够理解的任务。
Midway through the course, Nick, a fellow incarcerated student, poured out his concern that the prosecutors were tiptoeing around the racial bias and discrimination within our criminal justice system. Now, if you've ever been to prison, you would know it's impossible to talk about justice reform without talking about race. So we silently cheered for Nick and were eager to hear the prosecutors' response. And no, I don't remember who spoke first, but when Chauncey Parker, a senior prosecutor, agreed with Nick and said he was committed to ending the mass incarceration of people of color, I believed him. And I knew we were headed in the right direction. We now started to move as a team. We started exploring new possibilities and uncovering truths about our justice system and how real change happens for us.
课上到一半的时候, 其中一名被监禁的同学 Nick, 说出了他的困扰, 他说检察官们在刑事司法制度中 都是在种族偏见和歧视 的边缘踮着脚尖走。 如果你们曾去过监狱, 就会知道只谈司法改革而不谈种族 是不可能的。 所以我们都在心中暗暗为Nick打气, 并急切地想知道检察官们对此的反应。 尽管我并不能记清当时谁先开的口, 但当一位高级检察官: Chauncey Parker 表示同意Nick的想法, 并说他决心要结束针对 有色皮肤人群的大规模监禁。 我相信他能做到。 并且我知道他正 朝着正确的方向前进。 我们开始像一个团队一样行动, 开始探索更多新的可能性, 并揭晓关于司法系统的真相, 并且见证了发生在我们身上的 真实的改变。
For me, it wasn't the mandatory programs inside of the prison. Instead, it was listening to the advice of elders -- men who have been sentenced to spend the rest of their lives in prison. These men helped me reframe my mindset around manhood. And they instilled in me all of their aspirations and goals, in the hopes that I would never return to prison, and that I would serve as their ambassador to the free world. As I talked, I could see the lights turning on for one prosecutor, who said something I thought was obvious: that I had transformed despite my incarceration and not because of it.
对我来说,那并不是在监狱内 被强制要求参加的项目。 相反的,那是一个机会让我们能倾听 被判在狱中度过余生的年长者们经验。 他们帮我重新塑造了我 对于成年人的思维方式, 并且灌输给了我 他们所有的抱负与目标, 希望我永远也不要再回到监狱。 他们希望我能充当他们 在自由世界的大使。 正当我说着,我几乎能看见 有一名检察官的脸上像是被打了光, 他说了我觉得很明显的一件事: 他说我并不是因为 被监禁而改变了自己的, 我的改变和被监禁无关。
It was clear these prosecutors hadn't thought much about what happens to us after they win a conviction. But through the simple process of sitting in a classroom, these lawyers started to see that keeping us locked up didn't benefit our community or us.
很明显,这些检察官 以前从没怎么想过 当他们成功将我们定罪后, 我们会面临些什么。 但通过坐在这间教室 这个简单的过程, 这些律师们开始意识到: 把我们关起来 并不能造福社区, 对我们自己也没好处。
Toward the end of the course, the prosecutors were excited, as we talked about our plans for life after being released. But they hadn't realized how rough it was actually going to be. I can literally still see the shock on one of the junior ADA's face when it hit her: the temporary ID given to us with our freedom displayed that we were just released from prison. She hadn't imagined how many barriers this would create for us as we reenter society. But I could also see her genuine empathy for the choice we had to make between coming home to a bed in a shelter or a couch in a relative's overcrowded apartment.
当这节课快结束的时候, 我们谈论了未来被释放之后的计划, 这些检察官听到这些以后都很激动。 但他们并没意识到 这实际上会有多艰难。 我几乎能看到 其中一名助理地方检察官 脸上惊讶的表情: 当我们自由以后,临时身份证明 会显示我们刚被刑满释放。 她想象不出这会给我们 重返社会造成多少障碍。 但同时我也能看到她对我们 必须要做出选择的真切同情: 究竟是去睡在家里的床上, 还是去躺在拥挤不堪 的亲戚家的沙发上。
What we learned in the class worked its way into concrete policy recommendations. We presented our proposals to the state Department of Corrections commissioner and to the Manhattan DA, at our graduation in a packed Columbia auditorium. As a team, I couldn't have imagined a more memorable way to conclude our eight weeks together.
我们在课上学到的, 以后都会变成具体的政策改善建议。 我们毕业时将我们的提案 上呈给了州惩治局的专员 和曼哈顿的地方检察官, 地点就在座无虚席 哥伦比亚大学大礼堂。 作为一个团队, 我已想不出还有什么 更有纪念意义的方式 能为我们朝夕相处的 这八周画上句号。
And just 10 months after coming home from prison, I again found myself in a strange room, invited by the commissioner of NYPD to share my perspective at a policing summit. And while speaking, I recognized a familiar face in the audience. It was the attorney who prosecuted my case. Seeing him, I thought about our days in the courtroom seven years earlier, as I listened to him recommend a long prison sentence, as if my young life was meaningless and had no potential. But this time, the circumstances were different. I shook off my thoughts and walked over to shake his hand. He looked happy to see me. Surprised, but happy. He acknowledged how proud he was about being in that room with me, and we began a conversation about working together to improve the conditions of our community.
仅在我被释放回家的十个月后, 我再次发现自己 身处一间陌生的房间里, 是因为收到纽约市警局 局长的邀请,要在一次警务峰会上 分享我的观点。 正当我演说时, 我认出了观众席中 一张熟悉的面孔。 是那位起诉我案件的律师。 看到他, 让我想起了七年前 我们在法庭中的那些日子, 当时我听见他建议让我坐很久的牢, 就好像我年轻的生命毫无意义, 也没有任何潜力。 但这次, 情况有些不一样了。 我甩开我的那些想法, 走过去握住他的手。 他见到我很开心。 有些惊讶,但总体还是开心。 他承认和我同在 那间房间中有多自豪, 接着我们开始讨论一起合作 来改善社区的状况。
And so today, I carry all of these experiences with me, as I develop the Justice Ambassadors Youth Council at Columbia University, bringing young New Yorkers -- some who have already spent time locked up and others who are still enrolled in high school -- together with city officials. And in this classroom, everyone will brainstorm ideas about improving the lives of our city's most vulnerable youth before they get tried within the criminal justice system.
所以,今天, 我的这些经历, 帮助我成立了哥伦比亚大学 的司法大使青年会, 将曾被监禁过或还在上高中的 的年轻纽约人 加入到城市官员的队伍中来。 在这间教室中, 每个人都会通过头脑风暴 来想出办法,在城市中最脆弱的青年人 因犯罪被司法系统采取行动之前, 改善他们的生活。
This is possible if we do the work. Our society and justice system has convinced us that we can lock up our problems and punish our way out of social challenges. But that's not real. Imagine with me for a second a future where no one can become a prosecutor, a judge, a cop or even a parole officer without first sitting in a classroom to learn from and connect with the very people whose lives will be in their hands.
只要我们行动,这是可能实现的。 我们的社会和司法系统 一直在说服我们: 我们可以把我们的问题关起来, 用惩罚来摆脱社会挑战。 但现实并非如此。 请大家和我一起想象一下 在未来,任何人想要当 一名检察官, 法官, 警察, 甚至是假释官, 都必须要先坐在教室中 了解并连接那些 命运会被交到他们手上的人。
I'm doing my part to promote the power of conversations and the need for collaborations. It is through education that we will arrive at a truth that is inclusive and unites us all in the pursuit of justice. For me, it was a brand-new conversation and a new kind of classroom that showed me how both my mindset and our criminal justice system could be transformed.
我正在尽己所能来促进交流的力量, 和与他人合作的必要性。 正是通过教育, 我们才能在追求正义 的过程中找到包容一切 并团结我们所有人的真相。 对我来说,这是一次全新的谈话方式, 一间新式的的课堂 向我展示了我心中的想法 和刑事司法系统是如何 一起被改变的。
They say the truth shall set you free. But I believe it's education and communication.
人们说真相会带给你自由。 但我相信, 解放你的,是教育 和沟通。
Thank you.
谢谢大家。
(Applause)
(掌声)