Today I want to talk to you about the mathematics of love. Now, I think that we can all agree that mathematicians are famously excellent at finding love.
Danas želim da vam pričam o matematici ljubavi. Mislim da svi možemo da se složimo da su matematičari čuveni po tome da sjajno pronalaze ljubav.
(Laughter)
Ali to nije samo zbog naših očaravajućih ličnosti,
But it's not just because of our dashing personalities, superior conversational skills and excellent pencil cases. It's also because we've actually done an awful lot of work into the maths of how to find the perfect partner.
vrhunskih veština razgovora i odličnih pernica za olovke. To je i zbog toga zato što smo zapravo uložili mnogo truda u proračunavanje načina za pronalaženje savršenog partnera.
Now, in my favorite paper on the subject, which is entitled, "Why I Don't Have a Girlfriend" --
U mom omiljenom radu na ovu temu, koji se zove "Zašto nemam devojku" - (Smeh) -
(Laughter)
Peter Backus tries to rate his chances of finding love. Now, Peter's not a very greedy man. Of all of the available women in the UK, all Peter's looking for is somebody who lives near him, somebody in the right age range, somebody with a university degree, somebody he's likely to get on well with, somebody who's likely to be attractive, somebody who's likely to find him attractive.
Piter Bakus pokušava da oceni svoje šanse da pronađe ljubav. Piter nije pohlepan čovek. Od svih slobodnih žena u Ujedinjenom kraljevstvu, Piter samo traži nekoga ko živi blizu njega, nekoga ko je podesnog starosnog doba, nekoga sa fakultetskom diplomom, nekoga s kime bi se verovatno dobro slagao, nekoga ko je verovatno privlačan i nekoga ko bi verovatno njega smatrao privlačnim.
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
And comes up with an estimate of 26 women in the whole of the UK.
Došao je do procene od 26 žena u celom Ujedinjenom kraljevstvu.
(Laughter)
It's not looking very good, is it Peter? Now, just to put that into perspective, that's about 400 times fewer than the best estimates of how many intelligent extraterrestrial life forms there are. And it also gives Peter a 1 in 285,000 chance of bumping into any one of these special ladies on a given night out. I'd like to think that's why mathematicians don't really bother going on nights out anymore.
Piteru, ne izgleda baš dobro, zar ne? Da stavimo to u kontekst, to je oko 400 puta manje od procena broja inteligentnih oblika života u svemiru. To Piteru takođe daje šansu od 1 u 285 000 da naleti na jednu od ovih posebnih dama bilo koje veče. Mislim da se matematičari baš zbog toga više naročito ni ne trude da izlaze.
The thing is that I personally don't subscribe to such a pessimistic view. Because I know, just as well as all of you do, that love doesn't really work like that. Human emotion isn't neatly ordered and rational and easily predictable. But I also know that that doesn't mean that mathematics hasn't got something that it can offer us, because, love, as with most of life, is full of patterns and mathematics is, ultimately, all about the study of patterns. Patterns from predicting the weather to the fluctuations in the stock market, to the movement of the planets or the growth of cities. And if we're being honest, none of those things are exactly neatly ordered and easily predictable, either. Because I believe that mathematics is so powerful that it has the potential to offer us a new way of looking at almost anything. Even something as mysterious as love. And so, to try to persuade you of how totally amazing, excellent and relevant mathematics is, I want to give you my top three mathematically verifiable tips for love.
Stvar je u tome da ja lično nisam tako pesimističnog stava. Zato što ja znam, baš kao i svi vi, da ljubav zapravo ne funkcioniše tako. Ljudske emocije nisu uredno složene i racionalne i lako predvidive. Ali takođe znam da to ne znači da matematika nema nešto da nam ponudi, zato što je ljubav, kao i većina stvari u životu, prepuna šablona, a matematika se suštinski bavi proučavanjem šablona. Šabloni za sve od predviđanja vremena do variranja vrednosti na berzi, preko kretanja planeta do rasta gradova. Ako ćemo biti iskreni, ništa od toga takođe nije uredno složeno i lako predvidivo. Verujem da je matematika toliko moćna da ima potencijal da nam ponudi novi način gledanja skoro na sve. Čak i nešto tako misteriozno poput ljubavi. Da bih pokušala da vas ubedim u to kako je matematika neverovatna, odlična i bitna, želim da vam dam moja najbolja tri matematički dokaziva saveta za ljubav.
(Laughter)
U redu, Savet broj 1:
OK, so Top Tip #1: How to win at online dating. So my favorite online dating website is OkCupid, not least because it was started by a group of mathematicians. Now, because they're mathematicians, they have been collecting data on everybody who uses their site for almost a decade. And they've been trying to search for patterns in the way that we talk about ourselves and the way that we interact with each other on an online dating website. And they've come up with some seriously interesting findings. But my particular favorite is that it turns out that on an online dating website, how attractive you are does not dictate how popular you are, and actually, having people think that you're ugly can work to your advantage.
kako biti uspešan u sastancima preko interneta. Moj omiljeni sajt za upoznavanje preko interneta je OkCupid, dobrim delom zbog toga što ga je osnovala grupa matematičara. Pošto su matematičari, skupljali su podatke o svakom ko koristi njihov sajt, skoro deceniju. Pokušali su da nađu šablone u tome kako pričamo o sebi i u načinu na koji međusobno komuniciramo na internet sajtu za upoznavanje. Došli su do nekih veoma zanimljivih rezultata. Ali moj omiljeni je taj da se ispostavlja da na internet sajtu za upoznavanje to koliko ste privlačni ne povlači to koliko ste popularni, i zapravo kada ljudi misle da ste ružni, to može da vam ide u prilog.
(Laughter)
Hajde da vam pokažem kako ovo funkcioniše.
Let me show you how this works. In a thankfully voluntary section of OkCupid, you are allowed to rate how attractive you think people are on a scale between one and five. Now, if we compare this score, the average score, to how many messages a selection of people receive, you can begin to get a sense of how attractiveness links to popularity on an online dating website.
U delu OkCupid-a koji je srećom dobrovoljan, možete oceniti koliko mislite da je neko privlačan, na skali od jedan do pet. Ako uporedite ovaj, prosečan rezultat, sa time koliko poruka dobije određeni broj ljudi, možete otprilike da shvatite kako je povezana privlačnost sa popularnošću na internet sajtu za upoznavanje.
This is the graph the OkCupid guys have come up with. And the important thing to notice is that it's not totally true that the more attractive you are, the more messages you get. But the question arises then of what is it about people up here who are so much more popular than people down here, even though they have the same score of attractiveness? And the reason why is that it's not just straightforward looks that are important. So let me try to illustrate their findings with an example. So if you take someone like Portia de Rossi, for example, everybody agrees that Portia de Rossi is a very beautiful woman. Nobody thinks that she's ugly, but she's not a supermodel, either. If you compare Portia de Rossi to someone like Sarah Jessica Parker, now, a lot of people, myself included, I should say, think that Sarah Jessica Parker is seriously fabulous and possibly one of the most beautiful creatures to have ever have walked on the face of the Earth. But some other people, i.e., most of the Internet ...
Ovo je grafikon do koga su došli ljudi iz OkCupid-a. Bitno je primetiti da nije potpuno tačno da dobijate više poruka, što ste privlačniji. Ali onda dolazi do pitanja šta je to sa ovim ljudima koji su toliko popularniji od ovih ljudi dole, iako imaju isti rezultat na skali privlačnosti? Razlog leži u tome što nije bitan izgled sam po sebi. Dozvolite da pokušam da prikažem njihove rezultate kroz primer. Recimo, ako uzmete nekog poput Porše de Rosi, svi se slažu da je Porša de Rosi prelepa žena. Niko ne misli da je ružna, ali nije ni supermodel. Ako uporedite Poršu de Rosi s nekim poput Sare Džesike Parker, dosta ljudi bi reklo, uključujući i mene, da je Sara Džesika Parker veoma zanosna i verovatno jedno od najlepših stvorenja koja su ikada hodala Zemljom. Ali neki drugi ljudi, npr. većina interneta,
(Laughter)
izgleda da misle da ona izgleda pomalo kao konj. (Smeh)
seem to think that she looks a bit like a horse.
(Laughter)
Now, I think that if you ask people how attractive they thought Jessica Parker or Portia de Rossi were, and you ask them to give them a score between one and five I reckon that they'd average out to have roughly the same score. But the way that people would vote would be very different. So Portia's scores would all be clustered around the four because everybody agrees that she's very beautiful, whereas Sarah Jessica Parker completely divides opinion. There'd be a huge spread in her scores. And actually it's this spread that counts. It's this spread that makes you more popular on an online Internet dating website. So what that means then is that if some people think that you're attractive, you're actually better off having some other people think that you're a massive minger. That's much better than everybody just thinking that you're the cute girl next door.
Mislim da kada biste ljude pitali koliko misle da su atraktivne Sara Džesika Parker ili Porša de Rosi, i zapitate ih da im daju rezultat na skali od jedan do pet, mislim da bi se došlo do toga da je prosečan rezultat manje-više isti. Ali način na koji bi ljudi glasali bio bi potpuno drugačiji. Poršini rezultati bili bi grupisani oko broja četiri jer se svi slažu da je prelepa, dok su kod Sare Džesike Parker mišljenja potpuno podeljena. Kod njenih rezultata bilo bi velikih podela. Ove podele su zapravo ono što se računa. Ove podele su ono što vas čini popularnijim na internet sajtu za upoznavanje. To onda znači da ako neki ljudi misle da ste privlačni, bolje je ukoliko neki drugi ljudi misle da ste potpuni grob. To je puno bolje od toga da svi misle da ste simpatična devojka iz komšiluka.
Now, I think this begins to make a bit more sense when you think in terms of the people who are sending these messages. So let's say that you think somebody's attractive, but you suspect that other people won't necessarily be that interested. That means there's less competition for you and it's an extra incentive for you to get in touch. Whereas compare that to if you think somebody is attractive but you suspect that everybody is going to think they're attractive. Well, why would you bother humiliating yourself, let's be honest? But here's where the really interesting part comes. Because when people choose the pictures that they use on an online dating website, they often try to minimize the things that they think some people will find unattractive. The classic example is people who are, perhaps, a little bit overweight deliberately choosing a very cropped photo,
Mislim da ovo počinje da ima malo više smisla kada mislite o ljudima koji šalju ove poruke. Recimo da mislite da je neko privlačan, ali sumnjate da drugi ljudi neće nužno biti toliko zainteresovani. Ovo znači da za vas ima manje konkurencije, i to je dodatni podsticaj za vas da kontaktirate tu osobu. Uporedite to sa nekim za koga mislite da je privlačan ali sumnjate i da će svi ostali pomisliti da je ta osoba privlačna. Iskreno, zašto uopšte da se trudite da biste se ponizili? Ovde sledi veoma zanimljiv deo svega. Kada ljudi biraju slike koje koriste na internet sajtu za upoznavanje, često pokušavaju da umanje stvari za koje misle da će neki ljudi smatrati neprivlačnim. Klasičan primer su ljudi koji možda imaju mali višak kilograma i namerno biraju prilično isečenu sliku,
(Laughter)
ili na primer ćelavi muškarci,
or bald men, for example, deliberately choosing pictures where they're wearing hats. But actually this is the opposite of what you should do if you want to be successful. You should really, instead, play up to whatever it is that makes you different, even if you think that some people will find it unattractive. Because the people who fancy you are just going to fancy you anyway, and the unimportant losers who don't, well, they only play up to your advantage.
koji namerno biraju slike gde nose šešir. Ovo je zapravo suprotno od onoga što treba da radite ukoliko želite da budete uspešni. Umesto toga treba da iznesete to što mislite da vas čini drugačijim, čak i ako mislite da će neki ljudi to smatrati neprivlačnim. Jer ćete se svejedno svideti ljudima kojima biste se inače svideli, a nebitni gubitnici kojima nećete, pa, oni vam samo idu u korist.
OK, Top Tip #2: How to pick the perfect partner. So let's imagine then that you're a roaring success on the dating scene. But the question arises of how do you then convert that success into longer-term happiness, and in particular, how do you decide when is the right time to settle down? Now generally, it's not advisable to just cash in and marry the first person who comes along and shows you any interest at all. But, equally, you don't really want to leave it too long if you want to maximize your chance of long-term happiness. As my favorite author, Jane Austen, puts it, "An unmarried woman of seven and twenty can never hope to feel or inspire affection again."
U redu, Savet 2: kako odabrati savršenog partnera. Zamislimo da ste na sceni za upoznavanje neverovatno uspešni. Ali javlja se pitanje toga kako preobratiti taj uspeh u dugotrajnu sreću, a naročito kako odlučiti kada je pravo vreme da se skrasite? Uopšteno govoreći, nije preporučljivo da se zaletite i venčate se prvom osobom koja naiđe i pokaže neko interesovanje. Ali isto tako, ne želite da čekate predugo ukoliko želite da uvećate svoje šanse za dugotrajnu sreću. Kako to kaže moja omiljena spisateljica, Džejn Ostin: "Neudata žena od dvadeset sedam godina
(Laughter)
ne može se nadati da će ikad ponovo osetiti ili pobuditi naklonost". (Smeh)
Thanks a lot, Jane. What do you know about love?
Mnogo ti hvala, Džejn. A šta pa ti znaš o ljubavi?
(Laughter)
Pitanje je onda sledeće,
So the question is then, how do you know when is the right time to settle down, given all the people that you can date in your lifetime? Thankfully, there's a rather delicious bit of mathematics that we can use to help us out here, called optimal stopping theory. So let's imagine, then, that you start dating when you're 15 and ideally, you'd like to be married by the time that you're 35. And there's a number of people that you could potentially date across your lifetime, and they'll be at varying levels of goodness. Now the rules are that once you cash in and get married, you can't look ahead to see what you could have had, and equally, you can't go back and change your mind. In my experience at least, I find that typically people don't much like being recalled years after being passed up for somebody else, or that's just me.
kako znate kada je pravo vreme da se skrasite ako uzmete u obzir sve ljude s kojima u životu možete izaći? Srećom, u matematici postoji nešto sjajno što možemo iskoristiti da nam pomogne, i naziva se teorijom optimalnog zaustavljanja. Hajde da onda zamislimo da počnete da izlazite sa 15 godina i u najboljem slučaju, želite da se venčate do svoje 35. godine. Postoji određeni broj ljudi sa kojima biste potencijalno mogli da izađete u toku života, i oni variraju na skali dobrote. Pravila su takva da jednom kada povučete potez i venčate se, ne možete da gledate unapred ka tome šta ste mogli da imate i isto tako ne možete da se vratite i da se predomislite. Makar iz mog iskustva, otkrila sam da ljudi obično ne vole da ih se setite godinama nakon što umesto njih odaberete nekog drugog, možda sam to samo ja.
So the math says then that what you should do in the first 37 percent of your dating window, you should just reject everybody as serious marriage potential.
Matematika vam kaže šta onda treba da uradite - u prvih 37% svojih šansi za izlaske, jednostavno treba sve da odbijete zbog nedostatka potencijala za brak.
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
And then, you should pick the next person that comes along that is better than everybody that you've seen before. So here's the example. Now if you do this, it can be mathematically proven, in fact, that this is the best possible way of maximizing your chances of finding the perfect partner. Now unfortunately, I have to tell you that this method does come with some risks. For instance, imagine if your perfect partner appeared during your first 37 percent. Now, unfortunately, you'd have to reject them.
Onda bi trebalo da odaberete sledeću osobu koja naiđe, a koja je bolja od svakoga koga ste do tada videli. Evo primera. Ako uradite ovo, zapravo se može matematički dokazati da je ovo najbolji mogući način da uvećate svoje šanse za pronalazak savršenog partnera. Nažalost, moram da vam kažem da ovaj metod ima svoje rizike. Na primer, zamislite da vaš savršeni partner dođe tokom vaših prvih 37 procenata. Nažalost, moraćete ga odbiti.
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
Now, if you're following the maths, I'm afraid no one else comes along that's better than anyone you've seen before, so you have to go on rejecting everyone and die alone.
Ako pratite matematiku, bojim se da neće doći niko drugi ko je bolji od svih koje ste videli pre toga, tako da morate da nastavite sa odbijanjem dok ne umrete sami.
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
Probably surrounded by cats ...
Verovatno okruženi mačkama koje grickaju vaše ostatke.
(Laughter)
nibbling at your remains.
OK, another risk is, let's imagine, instead, that the first people that you dated in your first 37 percent are just incredibly dull, boring, terrible people. That's OK, because you're in your rejection phase, so that's fine, you can reject them. But then imagine the next person to come along is just marginally less boring, dull and terrible ...
U redu, drugi rizik - zamislite umesto ovoga da su prvi ljudi sa kojima ste izašli u vaših prvih 37% procenata prosto neverovatno dosadni, bezlični, užasni ljudi. To je u redu, jer ste u fazi odbijanja, tako da je to okej, možete ih odbiti. Ali onda zamislite da je sledeća osoba koja naiđe samo neznatno manje dosadna, bezlična i užasna
(Laughter)
than everybody that you've seen before. Now, if you are following the maths, I'm afraid you have to marry them ...
od svih koje ste do tada videli. Ako pratite matematiku, bojim se da se morate venčati tom osobom
(Laughter)
i završiti u vezi koja je iskreno nezadovoljavajuća.
and end up in a relationship which is, frankly, suboptimal. Sorry about that. But I do think that there's an opportunity here for Hallmark to cash in on and really cater for this market. A Valentine's Day card like this.
Izvinite. Ali zaista mislim da ovde postoji prilika da Holmark unovči ovo i zaista se prilagodi ovom tržištu. Čestitka za Dan zaljubljenih poput ove. (Smeh)
(Laughter)
"Moj dragi mužu, samo si neznatno manje užasan od prvih 37% ljudi
"My darling husband, you are marginally less terrible than the first 37 percent of people I dated."
sa kojima sam izašla."
(Laughter)
Ispalo je romantičnije nego što to obično uspevam.
It's actually more romantic than I normally manage.
(Laughter)
OK, so this method doesn't give you a 100 percent success rate, but there's no other possible strategy that can do any better. And actually, in the wild, there are certain types of fish which follow and employ this exact strategy. So they reject every possible suitor that turns up in the first 37 percent of the mating season, and then they pick the next fish that comes along after that window that's, I don't know, bigger and burlier than all of the fish that they've seen before. I also think that subconsciously, humans, we do sort of do this anyway. We give ourselves a little bit of time to play the field, get a feel for the marketplace or whatever when we're young. And then we only start looking seriously at potential marriage candidates once we hit our mid-to-late 20s. I think this is conclusive proof, if ever it were needed, that everybody's brains are prewired to be just a little bit mathematical.
U redu, ovaj metod vam ne daje stopu uspeha od 100%, ali ne postoji nijedna druga strategija koja ima bolji rezultat. Zapravo, u prirodi postoje određene vrste ribe koje prate i koriste baš ovu strategiju. One odbijaju svakog mogućeg udvarača koji se pojavi u prvih 37% procenata sezone parenja, i onda odaberu prvu narednu ribu koja se pojavi nakon tog perioda, koja je, ne znam, veća i muževnija od svih riba koje su do tada videle. Mislim da i mi ljudi ovo radimo podsvesno, na neki način. Sebi dajemo malo vremena da istražimo igru, steknemo osećaj za tržište ili slično, kada smo mladi. Počnemo ozbiljno da gledamo potencijalne kandidate za brak tek kada uđemo u srednje i kasne dvadesete. Mislim da je ovo krajnji dokaz, ako je ikad bio potreban, da su svačiji mozgovi predodređeni da budu makar malo matematički.
OK, so that was Top Tip #2. Now, Top Tip #3: How to avoid divorce. OK, so let's imagine then that you picked your perfect partner and you're settling into a lifelong relationship with them. Now, I like to think that everybody would ideally like to avoid divorce, apart from, I don't know, Piers Morgan's wife, maybe?
U redu, to je bio Savet broj dva. Savet broj tri: kako izbeći razvod. U redu, zamislimo da ste odabrali svog savršenog partnera i navikavate se na doživotnu vezu sa tom osobom. Želela bih da mislim da bi svako voleo da izbegne razvod, osim možda supruge Pirsa Morgana.
(Laughter)
But it's a sad fact of modern life that one in two marriages in the States ends in divorce, with the rest of the world not being far behind. Now, you can be forgiven, perhaps for thinking that the arguments that precede a marital breakup are not an ideal candidate for mathematical investigation. For one thing, it's very hard to know what you should be measuring or what you should be quantifying. But this didn't stop a psychologist, John Gottman, who did exactly that. Gottman observed hundreds of couples having a conversation and recorded, well, everything you can think of. So he recorded what was said in the conversation, he recorded their skin conductivity, he recorded their facial expressions, their heart rates, their blood pressure, basically everything apart from whether or not the wife was actually always right, which incidentally she totally is. But what Gottman and his team found was that one of the most important predictors for whether or not a couple is going to get divorced was how positive or negative each partner was being in the conversation.
Ali tužna činjenica modernog života je to da se 1 u 2 braka u SAD završi razvodom, dok ostatak sveta nije daleko od toga. Možda vam se može oprostiti što mislite da svađe koje prethode rastavi braka nisu idealne za matematičku istragu. Prvo, veoma je teško znati šta treba da merite ili šta treba da brojite. Ali ovo nije zaustavilo psihologa Džona Gotmana, koji je uradio upravo to. Gotman je posmatrao stotine parova u toku razgovora i snimao u principu sve čega biste mogli da se setite. Snimao je šta je rečeno u razgovoru, snimao je provodljivost njihove kože, njihove izraze lica, otkucaje srca, krvni pritisak, zapravo sve osim toga da li je supruga uvek bila u pravu ili ne, a sasvim slučajno ona to jeste. Ali Gotman i njegov tim su zapravo pronašli jedan od najbitnijih prediktora toga da li će se par razvesti ili ne - koliko je svaki partner pozitivan ili negativan u razgovoru.
Now, couples that were very low-risk scored a lot more positive points on Gottman's scale than negative. Whereas bad relationships, by which I mean, probably going to get divorced, they found themselves getting into a spiral of negativity. Now just by using these very simple ideas, Gottman and his group were able to predict whether a given couple was going to get divorced with a 90 percent accuracy. But it wasn't until he teamed up with a mathematician, James Murray, that they really started to understand what causes these negativity spirals and how they occur. And the results that they found, I think, are just incredibly impressively simple and interesting. So these equations predict how the wife or husband is going to respond in their next turn of the conversation, how positive or negative they're going to be. And these equations depend on the mood of the person when they're on their own, the mood of the person when they're with their partner, but most importantly, they depend on how much the husband and wife influence one another.
Parovi sa niskom stopom rizika imali su puno više pozitivnih nego negativnih poena na Gotmanovoj skali. Sa druge strane, u lošim vezama, mislim na one gde će se par verovatno razvesti, zatekli su se u spirali negativnosti. Koristeći samo ove jednostavne ideje, Gotman je sa svojom grupom mogao da predvidi da li će se određeni par razvesti ili ne sa preciznošću od 90%. Ali sve dok se nije udružio sa matematičarom Džejmsom Marejem, nije razumeo šta je uzrok ovih spirala negativnosti i kako se one dešavaju. Rezultati do kojih su došli po mom mišljenju, neverovatno su prosti i zanimljivi. Ove jednačine predviđaju kako će muž ili supruga reagovati kada je njihov red u razgovoru, koliko pozitivni ili negativni će biti. Ove jednačine zavise od raspoloženja osobe kada je ona sama, od raspoloženja osobe kada je ona sa svojim partnerom, ali najbitnije je da zavise od toga koliko muž ili supruga utiču jedno na drugo.
Now, I think it's important to point out at this stage, that these exact equations have also been shown to be perfectly able at describing what happens between two countries in an arms race.
Mislim da je u ovom trenutku bitno istaći da je dokazano da upravo ove jednačine mogu savršeno da opišu šta se dešava između dve zemlje u toku trke za naoružavanje.
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
So that an arguing couple spiraling into negativity and teetering on the brink of divorce is actually mathematically equivalent to the beginning of a nuclear war.
Tako da je to - ljudi u zavadi koji srljaju u negativnost i vise na ivici razvoda - to je matematički jednako početku nuklearnog rata.
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
But the really important term in this equation is the influence that people have on one another, and in particular, something called "the negativity threshold." Now, the negativity threshold, you can think of as how annoying the husband can be before the wife starts to get really pissed off, and vice versa. Now, I always thought that good marriages were about compromise and understanding and allowing the person to have the space to be themselves. So I would have thought that perhaps the most successful relationships were ones where there was a really high negativity threshold. Where couples let things go and only brought things up if they really were a big deal. But actually, the mathematics and subsequent findings by the team have shown the exact opposite is true. The best couples, or the most successful couples, are the ones with a really low negativity threshold. These are the couples that don't let anything go unnoticed and allow each other some room to complain. These are the couples that are continually trying to repair their own relationship, that have a much more positive outlook on their marriage. Couples that don't let things go and couples that don't let trivial things end up being a really big deal.
Ali termin koji je zaista bitan u ovoj jednačini je uticaj koji ljudi imaju jedni na druge, a naročito nešto što se naziva granicom negativnosti. O granici negativnosti možete razmišljati kao o tome koliko iritantan muž može da bude pre nego što žena zaista počne da ludi, i obrnuto. Uvek sam mislila da su osnove dobrog braka kompromis i razumevanje i dozvoljavanje osobi da ima prostora da bude ono što jeste. Mislila sam i da bi najuspešnije veze onda bile one gde je granica negativnosti veoma visoka. Tamo gde parovi prepuštaju i iznose stvari samo ako su zapravo velike. Ali zapravo, matematika i otkrića tima pokazali su da je istina upravo suprotna. Najbolji parovi, ili najuspešniji parovi su oni kod kojih je granica negativnosti veoma niska. Ovo su parovi kod kojih ništa ne prolazi neprimećeno i gde jedni drugima daju prostora za prigovaranje. Ovo su parovi koji se stalno trude da poprave svoju vezu, koji imaju mnogo pozitivniju sliku o svom braku. Parovi koji ne zaboravljaju stvari i parovi koji ne dopuštaju da trivijalne stvari postanu velike.
Now of course, it takes a bit more than just a low negativity threshold and not compromising to have a successful relationship. But I think that it's quite interesting to know that there is really mathematical evidence to say that you should never let the sun go down on your anger.
Naravno, potrebno je više od niske granice negativnosti same po sebi i nepravljenja kompromisa da biste imali uspešnu vezu. Ali mislim da je prično zanimljivo znati da zaista postoje matematički dokazi koji kažu da nikada zaista ne bi trebalo da potpuno obuzdate svoj bes.
So those are my top three tips of how maths can help you with love and relationships. But I hope, that aside from their use as tips, they also give you a little bit of insight into the power of mathematics. Because for me, equations and symbols aren't just a thing. They're a voice that speaks out about the incredible richness of nature and the startling simplicity in the patterns that twist and turn and warp and evolve all around us, from how the world works to how we behave. So I hope that perhaps, for just a couple of you, a little bit of insight into the mathematics of love can persuade you to have a little bit more love for mathematics.
To su moja tri saveta za to kako matematika može da vam pomogne s ljubavlju i vezama. Ali nadam se da će vam osim kao saveta koristiti i kao uvid u moć matematike. Za mene, jednačine i simboli nisu samo stvar. Oni su glas koji govori o neverovatnom bogatstvu prirode i zapanjujućoj jednostavnosti šablona koji se uvijaju i izvrću i razvijaju svuda oko nas, od toga kako svet funkcioniše do toga kako se ponašamo. Nadam se da će makar za nekoliko vas, uvid u matematiku ljubavi pomoći da vas ubedi da matematici pružite malo više ljubavi.
Thank you.
Hvala vam.
(Applause)
(Aplauz)