Today I want to talk to you about the mathematics of love. Now, I think that we can all agree that mathematicians are famously excellent at finding love.
Danas bih vam htjela reći ponešto o matematici ljubavi. Mislim da se svi možemo složiti da su matematičari poznati po tome da s lakoćom pronalaze ljubav.
(Laughter)
Ali nije to samo zbog naših očaravajućih osobnosti,
But it's not just because of our dashing personalities, superior conversational skills and excellent pencil cases. It's also because we've actually done an awful lot of work into the maths of how to find the perfect partner.
fantastičnih društvenih vještina i izvrsnih pernica, već i stoga što smo zapravo stvarno puno radili na tome da izračunamo kako pronaći savršenog partnera.
Now, in my favorite paper on the subject, which is entitled, "Why I Don't Have a Girlfriend" --
U mojem najdražem članku na tu temu, čiji je naslov „Zašto nemam djevojku” (Smijeh)
(Laughter)
Peter Backus tries to rate his chances of finding love. Now, Peter's not a very greedy man. Of all of the available women in the UK, all Peter's looking for is somebody who lives near him, somebody in the right age range, somebody with a university degree, somebody he's likely to get on well with, somebody who's likely to be attractive, somebody who's likely to find him attractive.
Peter Backus pokušava procijeniti svoje izglede da pronađe ljubav. Peter nije vrlo zahtjevan čovjek. Od svih žena koje žive u Ujedinjenoj Kraljevini, Peter traži takvu koja živi blizu njega, koja je prave dobi, koja je završila fakultet, s kojom bi se mogao dobro slagati, koja bi bila privlačna, kojoj bi on bio privlačan.
(Laughter)
(Smijeh)
And comes up with an estimate of 26 women in the whole of the UK.
Na kraju je procijenio da u cijeloj državi ima 26 takvih žena.
(Laughter)
It's not looking very good, is it Peter? Now, just to put that into perspective, that's about 400 times fewer than the best estimates of how many intelligent extraterrestrial life forms there are. And it also gives Peter a 1 in 285,000 chance of bumping into any one of these special ladies on a given night out. I'd like to think that's why mathematicians don't really bother going on nights out anymore.
Ne izgleda baš dobro, zar ne? Da bismo to stavili u perspektivu, to je oko 400 puta manji broj od najboljih procjena toga koliko postoji inteligentnih izvanzemaljskih oblika života. Peter tako ima šanse u omjeru 1 : 285 000 da tijekom izlaska naleti na jednu od tih posebnih žena. Rado bih mislila da je to razlog iz kojeg matematičari više baš i ne izlaze.
The thing is that I personally don't subscribe to such a pessimistic view. Because I know, just as well as all of you do, that love doesn't really work like that. Human emotion isn't neatly ordered and rational and easily predictable. But I also know that that doesn't mean that mathematics hasn't got something that it can offer us, because, love, as with most of life, is full of patterns and mathematics is, ultimately, all about the study of patterns. Patterns from predicting the weather to the fluctuations in the stock market, to the movement of the planets or the growth of cities. And if we're being honest, none of those things are exactly neatly ordered and easily predictable, either. Because I believe that mathematics is so powerful that it has the potential to offer us a new way of looking at almost anything. Even something as mysterious as love. And so, to try to persuade you of how totally amazing, excellent and relevant mathematics is, I want to give you my top three mathematically verifiable tips for love.
No, ja osobno ne prihvaćam takav pesimistični stav. Zato što znam, kao i svi vi, da ljubav zapravo ne funkcionira tako. Ljudski osjećaji nisu uredni ni racionalni i ne može ih se lako predvidjeti. Ali znam i da to ne znači da nam matematika tu ne može ništa ponuditi jer se ljubav, kao i mnogo toga u životu, često odvija po određenim uzorcima, a matematika je, na kraju krajeva, proučavanje uzoraka, od predviđanja vremenskih uvjeta do fluktuacija na tržištu dionica, kretanja planeta i rasta gradova. A, iskreno, ništa od toga nije baš naročito uredno niti se može lako predvidjeti. Vjerujem da je matematika toliko moćna da nam može pružiti novi način gledanja bilo čega. Čak i nečega misterioznog poput ljubavi. Stoga, kako bih vas uvjerila da je matematika potpuno divna, odlična i relevantna. dat ću vam svoja tri glavna matematički provjerljiva savjeta za ljubav.
(Laughter)
Savjet br. 1:
OK, so Top Tip #1: How to win at online dating. So my favorite online dating website is OkCupid, not least because it was started by a group of mathematicians. Now, because they're mathematicians, they have been collecting data on everybody who uses their site for almost a decade. And they've been trying to search for patterns in the way that we talk about ourselves and the way that we interact with each other on an online dating website. And they've come up with some seriously interesting findings. But my particular favorite is that it turns out that on an online dating website, how attractive you are does not dictate how popular you are, and actually, having people think that you're ugly can work to your advantage.
Kako uspješno pronaći ljubav na internetu. OkCupid mi je najdraža internetska stranica za traženje partnera, i to ne samo zato što ju je pokrenula skupina matematičara. Budući da su matematičari, gotovo deset godina prikupljaju podatke o svima koji koriste njihovu stranicu. Nastoje pronaći uzorke u načinu na koji govorimo o sebi i na koji komuniciramo jedni s drugima na internetskoj stranici za traženje partnera. I otkrili su neke stvarno zanimljive stvari. Meni je najdraže to što se pokazalo da na stranicama za traženje partnera vaša popularnost ne ovisi o tome koliko ste privlačni i zapravo, ako ljudi misle da ste ružni, to vam može ići u prilog.
(Laughter)
Pokazat ću vam kako to funkcionira.
Let me show you how this works. In a thankfully voluntary section of OkCupid, you are allowed to rate how attractive you think people are on a scale between one and five. Now, if we compare this score, the average score, to how many messages a selection of people receive, you can begin to get a sense of how attractiveness links to popularity on an online dating website.
U nasreću neobveznom dijelu OkCupida možete ocijeniti koliko ljude smatrate privlačnima, ocjenama od 1 do 5. Ako ovaj prosječan rezultat usporedimo s brojem poruka koje primaju određeni ljudi, možete pomalo vidjeti kakav je odnos privlačnosti i popularnosti na stranicama za traženje partnera.
This is the graph the OkCupid guys have come up with. And the important thing to notice is that it's not totally true that the more attractive you are, the more messages you get. But the question arises then of what is it about people up here who are so much more popular than people down here, even though they have the same score of attractiveness? And the reason why is that it's not just straightforward looks that are important. So let me try to illustrate their findings with an example. So if you take someone like Portia de Rossi, for example, everybody agrees that Portia de Rossi is a very beautiful woman. Nobody thinks that she's ugly, but she's not a supermodel, either. If you compare Portia de Rossi to someone like Sarah Jessica Parker, now, a lot of people, myself included, I should say, think that Sarah Jessica Parker is seriously fabulous and possibly one of the most beautiful creatures to have ever have walked on the face of the Earth. But some other people, i.e., most of the Internet ...
Ovaj su graf izradili dečki s OkCupida. Važno je primijetiti da nije potpuno istina da ćete dobiti više poruka ako ste privlačniji. Ali postavlja se pitanje po čemu su to ljudi ovdje gore toliko popularniji od ljudi ovdje dolje, iako imaju jednaku ocjenu privlačnosti? Razlog je taj što nije bitan samo izgled. Dat ću vam primjer za ilustraciju onoga što su otkrili. Netko poput Portije de Rossi, na primjer. Svi se slažu da je Portia de Rossi vrlo zgodna žena. Nitko ne misli da je ružna, ali nije ni supermodel. Ako usporedite Portiju de Rossi s nekime poput Sarah Jessice Parker, mnogi ljudi, pa, moram priznati, i ja, misle da je Sarah Jessica Parker stvarno fantastična i možda jedno od najljepših bića koja su ikad hodala Zemljom. Ali čini se da neki drugi ljudi, recimo većina ljudi na internetu,
(Laughter)
misle da malo naliči konju. (Smijeh)
seem to think that she looks a bit like a horse.
(Laughter)
Now, I think that if you ask people how attractive they thought Jessica Parker or Portia de Rossi were, and you ask them to give them a score between one and five I reckon that they'd average out to have roughly the same score. But the way that people would vote would be very different. So Portia's scores would all be clustered around the four because everybody agrees that she's very beautiful, whereas Sarah Jessica Parker completely divides opinion. There'd be a huge spread in her scores. And actually it's this spread that counts. It's this spread that makes you more popular on an online Internet dating website. So what that means then is that if some people think that you're attractive, you're actually better off having some other people think that you're a massive minger. That's much better than everybody just thinking that you're the cute girl next door.
Mislim da, kad biste pitali ljude za njihovo mišljenje o privlačnosti Sarah Jessice Parker i Portije de Rossi i kad biste tražili da ih ocijene od 1 do 5, mislim da bi u prosjeku imale otprilike jednak rezultat. Ali ljudi bi glasali na vrlo različite načine. Portijine bi ocjene uglavnom bile oko 4 jer se svi slažu da je prekrasna, dok se za Sarah Jessicu Parker mišljenja potpuno razlikuju. Imala bi vrlo raznolike ocjene. I upravo je ta raznolikost bitna. Zbog te ste raznolikosti popularniji na stranicama za traženje partnera. To, dakle, znači da, ako neki ljudi misle da ste privlačni, zapravo je za vas bolje da neki drugi ljudi misle da ste rugoba. To je mnogo bolje nego da svi misle da ste slatka djevojka iz susjedstva.
Now, I think this begins to make a bit more sense when you think in terms of the people who are sending these messages. So let's say that you think somebody's attractive, but you suspect that other people won't necessarily be that interested. That means there's less competition for you and it's an extra incentive for you to get in touch. Whereas compare that to if you think somebody is attractive but you suspect that everybody is going to think they're attractive. Well, why would you bother humiliating yourself, let's be honest? But here's where the really interesting part comes. Because when people choose the pictures that they use on an online dating website, they often try to minimize the things that they think some people will find unattractive. The classic example is people who are, perhaps, a little bit overweight deliberately choosing a very cropped photo,
Mislim da to ima malo više smisla ako razmišljate kao ljudi koji šalju te poruke. Recimo da vam je netko privlačan, ali mislite da drugi ljudi neće nužno biti toliko zainteresirani. To znači da imate manje konkurencije i to vam je dodatan poticaj da stupite u kontakt s tom osobom. S druge strane, netko vam je privlačan, ali mislite da će ta osoba biti privlačna i svima drugima. Budimo iskreni, zašto biste se ponižavali? Dolazimo do stvarno zanimljivog dijela. Kad ljudi biraju fotografije koje koriste na stranicama za traženje partnera, često nastoje pokazati što manje stvari za koje misle da će nekima biti neprivlačne. Tipičan su primjer ljudi koji su možda malo pretili i koji namjerno biraju vrlo odrezane fotografije.
(Laughter)
Ili ćelavi muškarci
or bald men, for example, deliberately choosing pictures where they're wearing hats. But actually this is the opposite of what you should do if you want to be successful. You should really, instead, play up to whatever it is that makes you different, even if you think that some people will find it unattractive. Because the people who fancy you are just going to fancy you anyway, and the unimportant losers who don't, well, they only play up to your advantage.
koji namjerno biraju fotografije na kojima nose kapu. Ali, ako želite postići uspjeh, trebalo bi raditi upravo suprotno od toga. Zapravo biste trebali igrati na ono što vas čini drugačijim, čak i ako mislite da nekima to neće biti privlačno. Ljudima kojima se sviđate sviđat ćete se ionako, a oni nebitni kojima se ne sviđate samo vam idu u korist.
OK, Top Tip #2: How to pick the perfect partner. So let's imagine then that you're a roaring success on the dating scene. But the question arises of how do you then convert that success into longer-term happiness, and in particular, how do you decide when is the right time to settle down? Now generally, it's not advisable to just cash in and marry the first person who comes along and shows you any interest at all. But, equally, you don't really want to leave it too long if you want to maximize your chance of long-term happiness. As my favorite author, Jane Austen, puts it, "An unmarried woman of seven and twenty can never hope to feel or inspire affection again."
U redu, savjet br. 2: Kako izabrati savršenog partnera. Zamislimo da ste vrlo popularni u svijetu traženja partnera. Ali postavlja se pitanje kako taj uspjeh pretvoriti u dugoročnu sreću i, konkretno, kako odlučiti kad je pravo vrijeme za skrasiti se? Općenito se ne preporuča odmah se povući i vjenčati se s prvom osobom koja naiđe i pokaže interes za vas. Ali isto tako ne biste trebali ni predugo čekati ako želite povećati svoje izglede za dugoročnu sreću. Riječima Jane Austen, moje najdraže spisateljice, „Neudana žena od 27 godina uopće se
(Laughter)
ne može nadati da će ponovno osjetiti ljubav niti nadahnuti koga ljubavlju.” (Smijeh)
Thanks a lot, Jane. What do you know about love?
Baš ti hvala, Jane. Što ti znaš o ljubavi?
(Laughter)
Stoga je pitanje
So the question is then, how do you know when is the right time to settle down, given all the people that you can date in your lifetime? Thankfully, there's a rather delicious bit of mathematics that we can use to help us out here, called optimal stopping theory. So let's imagine, then, that you start dating when you're 15 and ideally, you'd like to be married by the time that you're 35. And there's a number of people that you could potentially date across your lifetime, and they'll be at varying levels of goodness. Now the rules are that once you cash in and get married, you can't look ahead to see what you could have had, and equally, you can't go back and change your mind. In my experience at least, I find that typically people don't much like being recalled years after being passed up for somebody else, or that's just me.
kako znati kad je pravo vrijeme da se skrasite, s obzirom na sve ljude s kojima možete izlaziti u životu? Nasreću, za pomoć se možemo poslužiti krasnim dijelom matematike: teorijom optimalnog zaustavljanja. Zamislimo da počnete izlaziti s 15 godina i u idealnom biste slučaju do 35. godine htjeli biti vjenčani. Postoji mnogo ljudi s kojima biste u životu potencijalno mogli izlaziti i ti će vam ljudi više ili manje odgovarati. Pravila su takva da jednom kad se povučete i vjenčate, više ne možete gledati što ste mogli imati i jednako tako više se ne možete ni predomisliti. Prema mojem iskustvu, ljudi obično baš i ne vole kad ih se netko sjeti godinama nakon što su zamijenjeni nekim drugim. Ili je možda samo meni tako.
So the math says then that what you should do in the first 37 percent of your dating window, you should just reject everybody as serious marriage potential.
Matematika kaže da u prvih 37 % svojeg razdoblja izlaženja nikoga ne biste trebali smatrati potencijalnim supružnikom.
(Laughter)
(Smijeh)
And then, you should pick the next person that comes along that is better than everybody that you've seen before. So here's the example. Now if you do this, it can be mathematically proven, in fact, that this is the best possible way of maximizing your chances of finding the perfect partner. Now unfortunately, I have to tell you that this method does come with some risks. For instance, imagine if your perfect partner appeared during your first 37 percent. Now, unfortunately, you'd have to reject them.
Zatim biste trebali izabrati sljedeću osobu koja naiđe i koja je bolja od ikoga koga ste dotad vidjeli. Evo primjera. Ako to učinite, može se matematički dokazati da je to najbolji mogući način da si povećate izglede za pronalaženje savršenog partnera. Nažalost, moram vam reći da ta metoda ima i određene rizike. Zamislite, ne primjer, da se vaš savršeni partner pojavio tijekom vaših prvih 37 % vremena. Nažalost, morali biste ga odbiti.
(Laughter)
(Smijeh)
Now, if you're following the maths, I'm afraid no one else comes along that's better than anyone you've seen before, so you have to go on rejecting everyone and die alone.
Ako pratite ovu matematiku, bojim se da neće naići nitko drugi tko bi bio bolji od bilo koga koga ste vidjeli prije pa ćete i dalje morati odbijati svakoga i umrijeti sami.
(Laughter)
(Smijeh)
Probably surrounded by cats ...
Vjerojatno okruženi mačkama koje će pojesti vaše ostatke.
(Laughter)
nibbling at your remains.
OK, another risk is, let's imagine, instead, that the first people that you dated in your first 37 percent are just incredibly dull, boring, terrible people. That's OK, because you're in your rejection phase, so that's fine, you can reject them. But then imagine the next person to come along is just marginally less boring, dull and terrible ...
U redu, a drugi je rizik, zamislimo radije da su prvi ljudi s kojima ste izlazili u svojih prvih 37 % vremena nevjerojatno bezvezni, dosadni i užasni. To je u redu jer ste u fazi odbijanja i možete ih odbiti bez problema. Ali zamislite da je iduća osoba koja naiđe tek malo manje bezvezna, dosadna i užasna
(Laughter)
than everybody that you've seen before. Now, if you are following the maths, I'm afraid you have to marry them ...
od svih koje ste dotad vidjeli. Ako pratite ovu matematiku, bojim se da ćete se morati vjenčati s tom osobom
(Laughter)
i završit ćete u vezi koja nije optimalna.
and end up in a relationship which is, frankly, suboptimal. Sorry about that. But I do think that there's an opportunity here for Hallmark to cash in on and really cater for this market. A Valentine's Day card like this.
Žao mi je. Ali mislim da se proizvođačima čestitaka tu javlja tržište i prilika za zaradu. Na ovakvim čestitkama za Valentinovo (Smijeh)
(Laughter)
„Dragi mužu, malo si manje užasan
"My darling husband, you are marginally less terrible than the first 37 percent of people I dated."
od prvih 37 % ljudi s kojima sam izlazila.”
(Laughter)
To je zapravo romantičnije nego što ja obično zvučim.
It's actually more romantic than I normally manage.
(Laughter)
OK, so this method doesn't give you a 100 percent success rate, but there's no other possible strategy that can do any better. And actually, in the wild, there are certain types of fish which follow and employ this exact strategy. So they reject every possible suitor that turns up in the first 37 percent of the mating season, and then they pick the next fish that comes along after that window that's, I don't know, bigger and burlier than all of the fish that they've seen before. I also think that subconsciously, humans, we do sort of do this anyway. We give ourselves a little bit of time to play the field, get a feel for the marketplace or whatever when we're young. And then we only start looking seriously at potential marriage candidates once we hit our mid-to-late 20s. I think this is conclusive proof, if ever it were needed, that everybody's brains are prewired to be just a little bit mathematical.
Znači, ovom metodom ne postiže se stopostotni uspjeh, ali nema druge bolje strategije. U divljini zapravo postoje vrste riba koje primjenjuju upravo tu strategiju. Odbijaju svakog udvarača koji se pojavi u prvih 37 % sezone parenja, a zatim izaberu sljedeću ribu koja naiđe nakon toga i koja je, ne znam, veća i snažnija od svih riba koje su dotad vidjele. Mislim da mi ljudi to podsvjesno ionako radimo. Dajemo si malo vremena da izlazimo s više ljudi i pogledamo što se nudi dok smo mladi. Zatim kandidate za brak počnemo ozbiljno tražiti tek kad dođemo u srednje ili kasne 20-e. Mislim da je to jasan dokaz, ako je uopće bio potreban, da je svačiji mozak barem malo matematički nastrojen.
OK, so that was Top Tip #2. Now, Top Tip #3: How to avoid divorce. OK, so let's imagine then that you picked your perfect partner and you're settling into a lifelong relationship with them. Now, I like to think that everybody would ideally like to avoid divorce, apart from, I don't know, Piers Morgan's wife, maybe?
Dakle to je bio savjet br. 2. Evo savjeta br. 3: Kako izbjeći razvod. Zamislimo da ste izabrali savršenog partnera i s njim ili njom krećete u doživotnu vezu. Volim misliti da se, u idealnom slučaju, nitko ne želi razvesti, osim, ne znam, možda supruge Piersa Morgana?
(Laughter)
But it's a sad fact of modern life that one in two marriages in the States ends in divorce, with the rest of the world not being far behind. Now, you can be forgiven, perhaps for thinking that the arguments that precede a marital breakup are not an ideal candidate for mathematical investigation. For one thing, it's very hard to know what you should be measuring or what you should be quantifying. But this didn't stop a psychologist, John Gottman, who did exactly that. Gottman observed hundreds of couples having a conversation and recorded, well, everything you can think of. So he recorded what was said in the conversation, he recorded their skin conductivity, he recorded their facial expressions, their heart rates, their blood pressure, basically everything apart from whether or not the wife was actually always right, which incidentally she totally is. But what Gottman and his team found was that one of the most important predictors for whether or not a couple is going to get divorced was how positive or negative each partner was being in the conversation.
Ali tužna je činjenica modernog doba da pola brakova u SAD-u završi razvodom, a ni ostatak svijeta ne zaostaje mnogo. Možda bi vam se moglo oprostiti ako mislite da svađe koje prethode raskidu braka nisu idealan kandidat za matematička istraživanja. Ako ništa drugo, vrlo je teško znati što bi trebalo mjeriti ili što bi trebalo brojiti. Ali to nije spriječilo psihologa Johna Gottmana da učini upravo to. Gottman je promatrao stotine parova koji su razgovarali i bilježio sve što možete zamisliti. Bilježio je što je rečeno u razgovoru, vodljivost kože, izraze lica, brzine otkucaja srca, tlak, sve osim toga je li supruga stvarno uvijek u pravu ili nije, a, inače, naravno da jest. Ali Gottman i njegov tim otkrili su da je jedan od najvažnijih faktora toga hoće li se ili neće određeni par razvesti bio to koliko je svaki partner bio pozitivan ili negativan tijekom razgovora.
Now, couples that were very low-risk scored a lot more positive points on Gottman's scale than negative. Whereas bad relationships, by which I mean, probably going to get divorced, they found themselves getting into a spiral of negativity. Now just by using these very simple ideas, Gottman and his group were able to predict whether a given couple was going to get divorced with a 90 percent accuracy. But it wasn't until he teamed up with a mathematician, James Murray, that they really started to understand what causes these negativity spirals and how they occur. And the results that they found, I think, are just incredibly impressively simple and interesting. So these equations predict how the wife or husband is going to respond in their next turn of the conversation, how positive or negative they're going to be. And these equations depend on the mood of the person when they're on their own, the mood of the person when they're with their partner, but most importantly, they depend on how much the husband and wife influence one another.
Parovi koji su bili izloženi malom riziku imali su mnogo više pozitivnih nego negativnih bodova na Gottmanovoj ljestvici. S druge strane, u lošim vezama, odnosno onima koje će vjerojatno završiti razvodom, partneri su bili vrlo negativni. Samo na temelju tih vrlo jednostavnih pretpostavki Gottman i njegov tim uspjeli su predvidjeti hoće li se određeni par razvesti, i to s točnošću predviđanja od 90 %. Ali tek kad je počeo raditi zajedno s matematičarom Jamesom Murrayjem počeli su stvarno shvaćati što uzrokuje tu negativnost i kako do nje dolazi. Mislim da su njihovi rezultati nevjerojatno i impresivno jednostavni i zanimljivi. Ovim se jednadžbama predviđa kako će žena ili muž reagirati kad na njih dođe red u razgovoru, koliko će biti pozitivni ili negativni. Te jednadžbe ovise o raspoloženju osobe kad je sama, o raspoloženju osobe kad je s partnerom, ali najviše ovise o tome koliko muž i žena utječu jedno na drugo.
Now, I think it's important to point out at this stage, that these exact equations have also been shown to be perfectly able at describing what happens between two countries in an arms race.
Mislim da je u ovoj fazi važno istaknuti da se upravo ovim jednadžbama savršeno može opisati i što se događa kad se dvije zemlje utrkuju u naoružanju.
(Laughter)
(Smijeh)
So that an arguing couple spiraling into negativity and teetering on the brink of divorce is actually mathematically equivalent to the beginning of a nuclear war.
Par koji se svađa, dakle, postaje sve negativniji i visi na rubu razvoda -- matematički je to jednako početku nuklearnog rata.
(Laughter)
(Smijeh)
But the really important term in this equation is the influence that people have on one another, and in particular, something called "the negativity threshold." Now, the negativity threshold, you can think of as how annoying the husband can be before the wife starts to get really pissed off, and vice versa. Now, I always thought that good marriages were about compromise and understanding and allowing the person to have the space to be themselves. So I would have thought that perhaps the most successful relationships were ones where there was a really high negativity threshold. Where couples let things go and only brought things up if they really were a big deal. But actually, the mathematics and subsequent findings by the team have shown the exact opposite is true. The best couples, or the most successful couples, are the ones with a really low negativity threshold. These are the couples that don't let anything go unnoticed and allow each other some room to complain. These are the couples that are continually trying to repair their own relationship, that have a much more positive outlook on their marriage. Couples that don't let things go and couples that don't let trivial things end up being a really big deal.
Ali zaista bitan faktor u ovoj jednadži jest utjecaj koji ljudi imaju jedni na druge, a posebno nešto što se zove prag negativnosti. Prag negativnosti jest mjera koliko muž može biti iritantan prije nego se žena stvarno naljuti, i obratno. Oduvijek sam mislila da su dobri brakovi puni kompromisa i razumijevanja i da svatko ima prostora da bude kakav stvarno jest. Pretpostavila bih možda da su najuspješnije veze one u kojima postoji vrlo visok prag negativnosti. U kojima se parovi ne svađaju oko svega i započinju raspravu samo ako je stvar zaista bitna. No, matematika i kasniji rezultati do kojih je tim došao pokazali su da je istina baš suprotna. Najbolji, najuspješniji parovi oni su koji imaju zaista nizak prag negativnosti. To su parovi kod kojih ništa ne prolazi nezamijećeno i koji se mogu jedno drugome žaliti. To su parovi koji neprestano nastoje popraviti svoju vezu, koji imaju mnogo pozitivniju sliku o svojem braku. Parovi koji ne zanemaruju neslaganja i parovi koji ne dopuštaju da se sitnice prenapušu.
Now of course, it takes a bit more than just a low negativity threshold and not compromising to have a successful relationship. But I think that it's quite interesting to know that there is really mathematical evidence to say that you should never let the sun go down on your anger.
Naravno da nizak prag negativnosti i neprihvaćanje kompromisa nisu dovoljni za uspješnu vezu. Ali mislim da je vrlo zanimljivo znati da zaista postoji matematički dokaz da nikad ne smijete ostati ljuti preko noći.
So those are my top three tips of how maths can help you with love and relationships. But I hope, that aside from their use as tips, they also give you a little bit of insight into the power of mathematics. Because for me, equations and symbols aren't just a thing. They're a voice that speaks out about the incredible richness of nature and the startling simplicity in the patterns that twist and turn and warp and evolve all around us, from how the world works to how we behave. So I hope that perhaps, for just a couple of you, a little bit of insight into the mathematics of love can persuade you to have a little bit more love for mathematics.
Eto, to su moja tri glavna savjeta o tome kako vam matematika može pomoći u ljubavi i vezama. Ali nadam se da će, osim kao savjeti, poslužiti i da vam malo prikažu moć matematike. Meni jednadže i simboli nisu samo stvari. Oni su glas koji govori o nevjerojatnom bogatstvu prirode i zadivljujućoj jednostavnosti uzoraka koji se uvijaju, okreću, izvrću i razvijaju svuda oko nas, od načina na koji svijet funkcionira do načina na koji se ponašamo. Nadam se da će barem nekoliko vas malo uvida u matematiku ljubavi potaknuti da pokažete malo više ljubavi za matematiku.
Thank you.
Hvala.
(Applause)
(Pljesak)