Twenty years ago, my family introduced a system called "Friday Democracy Meetings." Every Friday at 7pm, my family came together for an official meeting to discuss the current family affairs. These meetings were facilitated by one of my parents, and we even had a notetaker.
二十年前, 我的家庭制定了一个制度, 叫做“周五民主会议”。 每周五晚上七点,我们一家人 聚在一起进行一个正式会议, 讨论目前的家庭事务。 这些会议由我父母中的一位组织, 我们甚至还有一位记录员。
These meetings had two rules. First, you are allowed to speak open and freely. Us kids were allowed to criticize our parents without that being considered disrespectful or rude. Second rule was the Chatham House rule, meaning whatever is said in the meeting stays in the meeting.
这些会议有两条规则。 第一,大家可以畅所欲言。 我们小孩子可以批评父母, 不会被当作不尊重或者无礼。 第二条规则是“查塔姆议院规则”, 意思是无论会议中说了什么, 都只保留在会议中。
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The topics which were discussed in these meetings varied from one week to another. One week, we'd talk about what food we wanted to eat, what time us kids should go to bed and how to improve things as a family, while another meeting discussed pretty much events that happened at school and how to solve disputes between siblings, by which I mean real fights. At the end of each meeting, we'd reach decisions and agreements that would last at least until the next meeting.
我们在会议中讨论的话题 每周都不同。 某一周,我们讨论 我们想吃的食物, 我们小孩子应该几点睡觉, 如何全家人一起改善一些事情, 另一周我们讨论 发生在学校里的事情, 如何解决兄弟姐妹之间的纠纷, 我的意思是真正的打架。 每次会议结束时, 我们会达成决定和协议, 至少会维持到下一次会议。
So you could say I was raised as a politician. By the age of six or seven, I mastered politics. I was negotiating, compromising, building alliances with other political actors.
所以你们可以说 我被按照政治家培养。 在我六或七岁之前,就精通政治。 我谈判,和解, 与其他政治角色建立联盟。
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And I even once tried to jeopardize the political process.
而且我甚至曾经试图 危害政治进程。
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These meetings sound very peaceful, civil and democratic, right? But that was not always the case. Because of this open, free space to talk, discuss and criticize, things sometimes got really heated.
这些会议听起来很和平, 民事和民主,对吧? 但是并不总是这样。 因为有这个开放,自由的空间 可以用来谈话,讨论和批评, 事情有的时候变得非常过火。
One meeting went really bad for me. I was about 10 years old at that time, and I'd done something really horrible at school, which I'm not going to share today --
有一个会议对我来说很糟糕。 那个时候我大概十岁, 我在学校做了一些可怕的事情, 我不打算今天跟你们分享这个事情,
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but my brother decided to bring it up in the meeting. I could not defend myself, so I decided to withdraw from the meeting and boycott the whole system. I literally wrote an official letter and handed it to my dad, announcing that I am boycotting.
但是我哥哥决定 在会议中讲这件事情。 我没法为自己辩护, 所以我决定退出会议, 并抵制这整个制度。 我亲笔写了一封正式信件, 交给了我爸爸, 宣布我拒绝参加。
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I thought that if I stopped attending these meetings anymore, the system would collapse,
我当时认为如果我不再参加会议, 这个制度就会瓦解,
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but my family continued with the meetings, and they often made decisions that I disliked. But I could not challenge these decisions, because I was not attending the meetings, and thus had no right to go against it.
但是我的家人们继续了会议, 而且他们经常做 一些我不喜欢的决定。 但是我不能质疑这些决定, 因为我没有参加会议, 所以没有权力反对。
Ironically, when I turned about 13 years old, I ended up attending one of these meetings again, after I boycotted them for a long time. Because there was an issue that was affecting me only, and no other family member was bringing it up. The problem was that after each dinner, I was always the only one who was asked to wash the dishes, while my brothers didn't have to do anything about it. I felt this was unjust, unfair and discriminatory, so I wanted to discuss it in the meeting. As you know, the idea that it's a woman or a girl's role to do household work is a rule that has been carried out by many societies for so long, so in order for a 13-year-old me to challenge it, I needed a platform.
讽刺的是,当我长到 13 岁, 在我抵制会议这么长时间后, 我最终又一次参加了会议。 因为有一个问题只影响我一个人, 而我的家人没在会议中提出。 这个问题是, 在每次晚饭之后, 我总是唯一一个被叫去洗碗的人, 而我的哥哥弟弟都不需要做。 我觉得那是不公平公正, 又有歧视性的, 所以我想在会议里讨论它。 正如你们所知,对于做家务 是女人或女孩的职责的这种想法 是长期以来许多社会 正在执行的规则。 所以,像我一个 13 岁的女孩 想挑战它,我需要一个平台。
In the meeting, my brothers argued that none of the other boys we knew were washing the dishes, so why should our family be any different? But my parents agreed with me and decided that my brothers should assist me. However, they could not force them, so the problem continued.
在会议中,我的兄弟们争辩道, 他们认识的男孩中 没有一个洗碗的, 为什么我们的家庭要不一样? 但是父母同意我的想法, 决定让他们帮助我。 但是,他们没法强迫他们, 所以问题还是继续。
Seeing no solution to my problem, I decided to attend another meeting and propose a new system that would be fair to everyone. So I suggested instead of one person washing all the dishes used by all the family members, each family member should wash their own dishes. And as a gesture of good faith, I said I'd wash the pots as well. This way, my brothers could no longer argue that it wasn't within their responsibility as boys or men to wash the dishes and clean after the family, because the system I proposed was about every member of the family cleaning after themselves and taking care of themselves.
看着我的问题无法解决, 我决定参加另一个会议, 提出一个新的制度, 对每个人都会是公平的。 所以我建议,不再由一个人 洗掉所有家人用的碗碟, 而是每个人自己洗自己的。 为了表示真诚的姿态, 我说我也会洗掉锅子。 这样,我的兄弟们无法再辩解说 作为男孩或者男人, 洗碗和打扫家里不是他们的职责。 因为我提出的制度是 关于家里每个成员 为自己打扫和照顾自己的。
Everyone agreed to my proposal, and for years, that was our washing-the-dishes system.
大家都同意了我的方案, 而且很多年来,我们 都用这个洗碗制度。
What I just shared with you is a family story, but it's pure politics. Every part of politics includes decision-making, and ideally, the process of decision-making should include people from different backgrounds, interests, opinions, gender, beliefs, race, ethnicity, age, and so on. And they should all have an equal opportunity to contribute to the decision-making process and influence the decisions that will affect their lives directly or indirectly. As such, I find it difficult to understand when I hear young people saying, "I'm too young to engage in politics or to even hold a political opinion." Similarly, when I hear some women saying, "Politics is a dirty world I don't want to engage with," I'm worried that the idea of politics and political engagement has become so polarized in many parts of the world that ordinary people feel, in order for them to participate in politics, they need to be outspoken activists, and that is not true. I want to ask these young people, women and ordinary people in general: Can you really afford not to be interested or not to participate in politics?
我刚刚跟你们分享的 是一个家庭故事, 但它是纯粹的政治, 政治的各部分包括决策制定, 而且理想的情况下, 决策制定的过程中, 应该包括来自不同背景下, 不同利益,意见,性别, 信仰,种族,年龄等等的人。 而且他们都应该有平等的机会 为决策制定做贡献, 来影响会直接 或间接影响他们生活的决定。 因此,我发现很难去理解, 当我听见年轻人说, “我们太小了还不能参加到政治中, 或者无法持有政治意见。” 类似地,当我听见一些女性说, “政治是一个肮脏的世界, 我不想参与进去”。 我非常担心政治思想和政治参与 在世界上很多地方 已经变得两极分化, 普通人觉得为了参与到政治中, 他们需要做直言不讳的活动家, 而那不是真的。 我想问那些年轻人, 女性和普通老百姓: 你们真的能够承担不感兴趣 或者不参与政治的后果吗?
Politics is not only activism. It's awareness, it's keeping ourselves informed, it's caring for the facts. When it's possible, it's casting a vote. Politics is the tool through which we structure ourselves as groups and societies. Politics governs every aspect of life, and by not participating in it, you're literally allowing other people to decide on what you can eat, wear, if you can have access to health care, free education, how much tax you pay, when you can retire, what is your pension. Other people are also deciding on whether your race and ethnicity is enough to consider you a criminal, or if your religion and nationality is enough to put you on a terrorist list. And if you still think you are a strong, independent human being unaffected by politics, then think twice.
政治不只是行动主义。 它是一种意识, 它让我们保持知情, 它关心事实。 可能的时候,它主导投票。 政治是我们将自己构造成为群体 和社会的工具。 政治控制生活中的每个方面, 而不去参与其中, 你们是在允许其他人决定 你可以吃什么,穿什么, 你是否可以拥有健康医疗, 免费的教育, 你需要付多少税, 当你退休时候, 你的退休金是多少。 其他人也可以来决定, 是否你的种族 足以决定你是不是罪犯, 或者凭着你的宗教信仰和国籍就 可以把你放在恐怖分子名单上。 如果你仍认为 你是一个强大,独立, 不受政治影响的人, 那么请三思。
I am speaking to you as a young woman from Libya, a country that is in the middle of a civil war. After more than 40 years of authoritarian rule, it's not a place where political engagement by women and young people is possible, nor encouraged. Almost all political dialogues that took place in the past few years, even those gathered by foreign powers, has been with only middle-aged men in the room. But in places with a broken political system like Libya, or in seemingly functioning places, including international organizations, the systems we have nowadays for political decision-making are not from the people for the people, but they have been established by the few for the few. And these few have been historically almost exclusively men, and they've produced laws, policies, mechanisms for political participation that are based on the opinions, beliefs, worldviews, dreams, aspirations of this one group of people, while everyone else was kept out. After all, we've all heard some version of this sentence: "What does a woman, let alone a young person, who is brown, understand about politics?"
我作为一个来自利比亚的 年轻女性与你们交流, 我们的国家正在经历内战。 在超过 40 年的专制统治后, 这不是一个女性或年轻人 可以或被鼓励参与政治的地方。 基本上过去几年发生的 所有政治对话, 甚至是那些由国外势力召集的, 房间里都只有中年男性的参与。 但是在像利比亚这样 政治体系破裂的地方, 或者在看似运作良好的地方, 包括国际组织, 当今我们用于政治决策的系统体系 并不是来自为人民谋利的人们, 而是由为少数人谋利 的少数人建立的。 而这些少数人,从历史上看, 基本都是男性, 他们建立了法律,政策, 政治参与机制,基于 这一群人的意见,信仰,世界观, 梦想,抱负, 而其他人都没有被考虑在内。 毕竟,我们都听过类似的一句话: “一个女性懂什么政治,? 更别说一个棕色皮肤的 年轻人。”
When you're young -- and in many parts of the world, a woman -- you often hear experienced politicians say, "But you lack political experience." And when I hear that, I wonder what sort of experience are they referring to? The experience of corrupted political systems? Or of waging wars? Or are they referring to the experience of putting the interests of economic profits before those of the environment? Because if this is political experience, then yes --
当你年轻时—— 在世界上很多地方,一个女人—— 经常会听见有经验的政客说, “但是你缺少政治经验。” 当我听见这个, 我很纳闷他们说的是哪种经验? 腐败政治制度的经历? 或者发动战争? 或者他们指的经验是 把经济利润的利益 放在环境的利益之前? 因为如果这是所谓的政治经验, 那么,是的——
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we, as women and young people, have no political experience at all.
我们,女人和年轻人, 没有任何政治经验。
Now, politicians might not be the only ones to blame, because ordinary people, and many young people as well, don't care about politics. And even those who care don't know how to participate.
政客可能不是 唯一应该被责怪的, 因为普通人,包括很多年轻人, 都不在乎政治, 甚至那些在乎政治的 也不知道如何参与进去。
This must change, and here is my proposal. We need to teach people at an early age about decision-making and how to be part of it. Every family is its own mini political system that is usually not democratic, because parents make decisions that affect all members of the family, while the kids have very little to say. Similarly, politicians make decisions that affect the whole nation, while the people have very little say in them.
这必须改变, 而以下是我的提议。 我们需要让大家从小就知道 决策制定是什么, 以及如何成为其中的一部分。 每个家庭都是一个小型政治体系, 通常不是民主的, 因为父母做的决定 影响着家里所有人, 而小孩子没有多少话语权。 类似地,政客做的决策 影响着整个国家, 而人们对此也没有多少话语权。
We need to change this, and in order to achieve this change systematically, we need to teach people that political, national and global affairs are as relevant to them as personal and family affairs.
我们需要改变, 为了系统地实现这个变革, 我们需要教育人们 政治,国家和全球事务 与个人和家庭事务一样 与大家息息相关。
So if we want to achieve this, my proposal and advice is, try out the Family Democracy Meeting system. Because that will enable your kids to exercise their agency and decision-making from a very early age.
所以为了实现这个目标, 我的提议和建议是, 试一下家庭民主会议制度。 因为这样使得孩子们 在很小的时候就可以 行使他们的权力和进行决策制定。
Politics is about having conversations, including difficult conversations, that lead to decisions. And in order to have a conversation, you need to participate, not sign off like I did when I was a kid and then learn the lesson the hard way and have to go back again. If you include your kids in family conversations, they will grow up and know how to participate in political conversations. And most importantly, most importantly, they will help others engage.
政治有关对话, 包括那些带来决策的 艰难的对话。 为了进行对话, 你们需要参与进来, 不是像我小的时候那样退出, 然后艰难地学到了教训, 不得不重新参与进去。 如果你们让孩子们 参与到家庭谈话中, 他们会成长, 知道如何参与到政治对话中。 而且最重要,最重要的是, 他们也会帮助其他人参与进来。
Thank you.
谢谢大家。
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