Twenty years ago, my family introduced a system called "Friday Democracy Meetings." Every Friday at 7pm, my family came together for an official meeting to discuss the current family affairs. These meetings were facilitated by one of my parents, and we even had a notetaker.
Pre dvadeset godina, moja porodica je uvela sistem pod nazivom „Demokratski sastanci petkom“. Svakog petka u 19h, članovi moje porodice okupljali su se na zvaničnom sastanku radi razgovora o aktuelnim porodičnim stvarima. Ove sastanke bi vodio jedan od mojih roditelja, a imali smo čak i zapisničara.
These meetings had two rules. First, you are allowed to speak open and freely. Us kids were allowed to criticize our parents without that being considered disrespectful or rude. Second rule was the Chatham House rule, meaning whatever is said in the meeting stays in the meeting.
Ti sastanci su imali dva pravila. Prvo, dozvoljeno vam je da govorite slobodno i otvoreno. Nama deci je bilo dozvoljeno da kritikujemo roditelje, a da se to ne smatra nepoštovanjem ili nepristojnim ponašanjem. Drugo je bilo pravilo Doma Čatam, što znači da sve što se izgovori na sastanku, ostaje na sastanku.
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
The topics which were discussed in these meetings varied from one week to another. One week, we'd talk about what food we wanted to eat, what time us kids should go to bed and how to improve things as a family, while another meeting discussed pretty much events that happened at school and how to solve disputes between siblings, by which I mean real fights. At the end of each meeting, we'd reach decisions and agreements that would last at least until the next meeting.
Teme o kojima se raspravljalo na ovim sastancima razlikovale su se iz nedelje u nedelju. Jedne nedelje bismo govorili o tome koju hranu hoćemo da jedemo, u koje vreme mi deca treba da idemo u krevet i kako da poboljšamo stvari kao porodica, dok smo na drugom sastanku pričali uglavnom o događajima iz škole i kako da rešimo sporove među braćom i sestrama, a pod tim podrazumevam prave tuče. Na kraju svakog sastanka, ustanovili bismo odluke i dogovore koje će biti na snazi bar do sledećeg sastanka.
So you could say I was raised as a politician. By the age of six or seven, I mastered politics. I was negotiating, compromising, building alliances with other political actors.
Tako da se može reći da sam odgajana kao političar. Sa šest ili sedam godina, savladala sam politiku. Pregovarala sam, pravila kompromise i gradila saveze sa drugim političkim akterima.
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
And I even once tried to jeopardize the political process.
Čak sam jednom pokušala da ugrozim politički proces.
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
These meetings sound very peaceful, civil and democratic, right? But that was not always the case. Because of this open, free space to talk, discuss and criticize, things sometimes got really heated.
Ovi sastanci zvuče kao da su vrlo mirni, građanski i demokratski, zar ne? Ali nije uvek bilo tako. Zbog ovog otvorenog, slobodnog prostora za razgovor, diskusiju i kritiku, ponekad bi postalo zaista usijano.
One meeting went really bad for me. I was about 10 years old at that time, and I'd done something really horrible at school, which I'm not going to share today --
Jedan sastanak mi baš nije išao na ruku. Imala sam oko 10 godina u to vreme, i uradila sam nešto baš užasno u školi, što neću izneti danas -
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
but my brother decided to bring it up in the meeting. I could not defend myself, so I decided to withdraw from the meeting and boycott the whole system. I literally wrote an official letter and handed it to my dad, announcing that I am boycotting.
ali moj brat je rešio da to iznese na sastanku. Nisam mogla da se odbranim, pa sam odlučila da se povučem sa sastanka i bojkotujem ceo sistem. Bukvalno sam napisala zvanično pismo i predala ga tati, najavivši da bojkotujem.
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
I thought that if I stopped attending these meetings anymore, the system would collapse,
Mislila sam, ako prestanem da prisustvujem tim sastancima, sistem će se srušiti,
(Laughter)
(Smeh)
but my family continued with the meetings, and they often made decisions that I disliked. But I could not challenge these decisions, because I was not attending the meetings, and thus had no right to go against it.
ali moja porodica je nastavila sa sastancima, i često su donosili odluke koje se meni nisu dopadale. Ali nisam mogla da osporim te odluke jer nisam prisustvovala sastancima, i samim tim nisam imala pravo da se protivim.
Ironically, when I turned about 13 years old, I ended up attending one of these meetings again, after I boycotted them for a long time. Because there was an issue that was affecting me only, and no other family member was bringing it up. The problem was that after each dinner, I was always the only one who was asked to wash the dishes, while my brothers didn't have to do anything about it. I felt this was unjust, unfair and discriminatory, so I wanted to discuss it in the meeting. As you know, the idea that it's a woman or a girl's role to do household work is a rule that has been carried out by many societies for so long, so in order for a 13-year-old me to challenge it, I needed a platform.
Ironično, kada sam napunila oko 13 godina, ponovo sam prisustvovala jednom od ovih sastanaka, nakon što sam ih dugo bojkotovala. Jer je postojao problem koje se ticao samo mene, a nijedan drugi član porodice to nije pominjao. Problem je bio u tome što su, nakon svake večere, uvek samo od mene tražili da operem sudove, dok moja braća ništa nisu morala da urade u vezi sa tim. Smatrala sam da je to nepravedno, da nije fer i da me diskriminiše, pa sam htela da razgovaram o tome na sastanku. Kao što znate, predstava o ulozi žena ili devojčica da obavljaju kućne poslove je pravilo koje je sprovođeno toliko dugo u mnogim društvima, stoga mi je bila potrebna platforma da bih to osporila sa 13 godina.
In the meeting, my brothers argued that none of the other boys we knew were washing the dishes, so why should our family be any different? But my parents agreed with me and decided that my brothers should assist me. However, they could not force them, so the problem continued.
Na sastanku su moja braća tvrdila da ni drugi dečaci koje znamo ne peru sudove, pa zašto bi naša porodica bila drugačija? Ali moji roditelji su se složili sa mnom i odlučili da braća treba da mi pomažu. Međutim, nisu mogli da ih nateraju, pa je problem nastavio da postoji.
Seeing no solution to my problem, I decided to attend another meeting and propose a new system that would be fair to everyone. So I suggested instead of one person washing all the dishes used by all the family members, each family member should wash their own dishes. And as a gesture of good faith, I said I'd wash the pots as well. This way, my brothers could no longer argue that it wasn't within their responsibility as boys or men to wash the dishes and clean after the family, because the system I proposed was about every member of the family cleaning after themselves and taking care of themselves.
Kako nisam videla rešenje problema, rešila sam da prisustvujem sastanku i predložim novi sistem koji bi bio pravičan za sve. Tako sam predložila da, umesto da jedna osoba pere sve sudove koje su upotrebili svi članovi porodice, svaki član mora da opere svoje sudove. A kao gest dobre volje, rekla sam da ću oprati i šerpe. Tako moja braća više nisu mogla da tvrde da nije njihova odgovornost kao dečaka ili muškaraca da peru sudove i da čiste za članovima porodice, jer je sistem koji sam predložila podrazumevao da svaki član počisti za sobom i brine se o sebi.
Everyone agreed to my proposal, and for years, that was our washing-the-dishes system.
Svi su se složili sa mojim predlogom, i to je godinama bio naš sistem pranja sudova.
What I just shared with you is a family story, but it's pure politics. Every part of politics includes decision-making, and ideally, the process of decision-making should include people from different backgrounds, interests, opinions, gender, beliefs, race, ethnicity, age, and so on. And they should all have an equal opportunity to contribute to the decision-making process and influence the decisions that will affect their lives directly or indirectly. As such, I find it difficult to understand when I hear young people saying, "I'm too young to engage in politics or to even hold a political opinion." Similarly, when I hear some women saying, "Politics is a dirty world I don't want to engage with," I'm worried that the idea of politics and political engagement has become so polarized in many parts of the world that ordinary people feel, in order for them to participate in politics, they need to be outspoken activists, and that is not true. I want to ask these young people, women and ordinary people in general: Can you really afford not to be interested or not to participate in politics?
Ovo što sam upravo podelila sa vama je porodična priča, ali to je čista politika. Svaka oblast politike podrazumeva donošenje odluka, a idealno bi bilo da proces donošenja odluka, obuhvata ljude različitog porekla, interesovanja, mišljenja, pola, uverenja, rasa, nacionalnosti, starosti itd. Svi bi oni trebalo da imaju podjednaku mogućnost da doprinesu procesu donošenja odluka i da utiču na odluke koje će direktno ili indirektno uticati na njihov život. Samim tim mi je teško da razumem kada čujem kako mladi govore: „Previše sam mlad da bih se uključio u politiku, ili čak i da bih imao političko mišljenje.“ Slično tome, kada čujem kako neke žene govore: „Politika je prljav svet u koji ne želim da se uključujem,“ zabrinuta sam jer je predstava o politici i političkom angažovanju postala toliko polarizovana u mnogim delovima sveta da obični ljudi smatraju da, ako hoće da učestvuju u politici, moraju biti istaknuti aktivisti, a to nije istina. Želim da pitam ove mlade ljude, pre svega žene i obične ljude: možete li zaista priuštiti da vas ne zanima ili da ne učestvujete u politici?
Politics is not only activism. It's awareness, it's keeping ourselves informed, it's caring for the facts. When it's possible, it's casting a vote. Politics is the tool through which we structure ourselves as groups and societies. Politics governs every aspect of life, and by not participating in it, you're literally allowing other people to decide on what you can eat, wear, if you can have access to health care, free education, how much tax you pay, when you can retire, what is your pension. Other people are also deciding on whether your race and ethnicity is enough to consider you a criminal, or if your religion and nationality is enough to put you on a terrorist list. And if you still think you are a strong, independent human being unaffected by politics, then think twice.
Politika nije samo aktivizam. To je kada smo svesni, kada se stalno informišemo, kada nam je stalo do činjenica. Kada je to moguće, to je glasanje. Politika je sredstvo kojim sebi uređujemo strukturu kao grupe i kao društva. Politika upravlja svim aspektima života, i time što ne učestvujete u njoj, bukvalno dozvoljavate drugima da odlučuju šta možete da jedete i gde, da li ćete imati pristup zdravstvenoj zaštiti, besplatnom obrazovanju, koliko plaćate porez, kada možete u penziju, kolika vam je penzija. Drugi ljudi odlučuju o tome da li su vaša rasa i etnička pripadnost dovoljni da bi vas smatrali kriminalcem, ili da li su vaša religija i nacionalnost dovoljni da vas stave na listu terorista. A ako i dalje mislite da ste snažno, nezavisno ljudsko biće na koje politika ne utiče, onda razmislite još jednom.
I am speaking to you as a young woman from Libya, a country that is in the middle of a civil war. After more than 40 years of authoritarian rule, it's not a place where political engagement by women and young people is possible, nor encouraged. Almost all political dialogues that took place in the past few years, even those gathered by foreign powers, has been with only middle-aged men in the room. But in places with a broken political system like Libya, or in seemingly functioning places, including international organizations, the systems we have nowadays for political decision-making are not from the people for the people, but they have been established by the few for the few. And these few have been historically almost exclusively men, and they've produced laws, policies, mechanisms for political participation that are based on the opinions, beliefs, worldviews, dreams, aspirations of this one group of people, while everyone else was kept out. After all, we've all heard some version of this sentence: "What does a woman, let alone a young person, who is brown, understand about politics?"
Obraćam vam se kao mlada žena iz Libije, zemlje koja je usred građanskog rata. Nakon više od 40 godina autoritarne vladavine, to nije mesto gde je političko angažovanje žena i mladih ljudi moguće, niti se ono podstiče. Skoro svi politički dijalozi tokom poslednjih nekoliko godina, pa i oni koje su organizovale strane sile, odvijali su se u prostorijama sa isključivo sredovečnim muškarcima. Ali u mestima sa propalim političkim sistemom poput Libije, ili u naizgled funkcionalnim mestima, uključujući međunarodne organizacije, sistemi za političko odlučivanje koje danas imamo nisu iz naroda za narod, već ih je uspostavila nekolicina zarad nekolicine. A ta nekolicina su kroz istoriju skoro isključivo bili muškarci, i oni su stvarali zakone, strategije, mehanizme političkog učestvovanja koji su zasnovani na mišljenjima, uverenjima, pogledima na svet, snovima, težnjama te jedne grupe ljudi, dok su sve ostale držali van toga. Uostalom, svi smo čuli neku verziju ove rečenice: „Šta to jedna žena, a kamoli mlada osoba, koja je braon boje kože, može da zna o politici?“
When you're young -- and in many parts of the world, a woman -- you often hear experienced politicians say, "But you lack political experience." And when I hear that, I wonder what sort of experience are they referring to? The experience of corrupted political systems? Or of waging wars? Or are they referring to the experience of putting the interests of economic profits before those of the environment? Because if this is political experience, then yes --
Kada ste mladi, a u mnogim delovima sveta, žena, često čujete iskusne političare kako kažu: „Ali nedostaje ti političko iskustvo.“ Kada to čujem, pitam se na kakvu vrstu iskustva misle. Na iskustvo korumpiranih političkih sistema? Ili vojevanja ratova? Ili pod tim podrazumevaju iskustvo stavljanja interesa ekonomskog profita iznad interesa životne sredine? Jer ako je to političko iskustvo, onda da -
(Applause)
(Aplauz)
we, as women and young people, have no political experience at all.
mi, kao žene i mladi ljudi, nemamo nikakvo političko iskustvo.
Now, politicians might not be the only ones to blame, because ordinary people, and many young people as well, don't care about politics. And even those who care don't know how to participate.
E, sad, političari možda nisu jedini krivi, jer obične ljude, kao i mnoge mlade ljude, nije briga za politiku. Čak i oni kojima je stalo ne znaju kako da učestvuju.
This must change, and here is my proposal. We need to teach people at an early age about decision-making and how to be part of it. Every family is its own mini political system that is usually not democratic, because parents make decisions that affect all members of the family, while the kids have very little to say. Similarly, politicians make decisions that affect the whole nation, while the people have very little say in them.
To mora da se promeni, a evo mog predloga. Moramo da učimo ljude od malih nogu o donošenju odluka i kako da budu deo tog procesa. Svaka porodica je sama po sebi mali politički sistem koji obično nije demokratski, jer roditelji donose odluke koje utiču na sve članove porodice, dok se deca baš i ne pitaju. Slično tome, političari donose odluke koje utiču na celu naciju, dok se narod ne pita mnogo.
We need to change this, and in order to achieve this change systematically, we need to teach people that political, national and global affairs are as relevant to them as personal and family affairs.
Moramo da to promenimo, a da bi se ta promena sistematski ostvarila, moramo da naučimo ljude da su politička, nacionalna i globalna pitanja podjednako važna za njih kao i lične i porodične stvari.
So if we want to achieve this, my proposal and advice is, try out the Family Democracy Meeting system. Because that will enable your kids to exercise their agency and decision-making from a very early age.
Dakle, ako želimo da to postignemo, moj predlog i savet je isprobavanje sistema porodičnog demokratskog sastanka. Jer to će omogućiti vašoj deci da vežbaju preduzimanje akcija i donošenje odluka od malih nogu.
Politics is about having conversations, including difficult conversations, that lead to decisions. And in order to have a conversation, you need to participate, not sign off like I did when I was a kid and then learn the lesson the hard way and have to go back again. If you include your kids in family conversations, they will grow up and know how to participate in political conversations. And most importantly, most importantly, they will help others engage.
Politika podrazumeva vođenje razgovora, uključujući teške razgovore, koji vode ka odlukama. A da biste razgovarali, morate da učestvujete, a ne da se odjavite kao ja kada sam bila dete, da biste zatim naučili lekciju na teži način i morali da se vratite. Ako uključite svoju decu u porodične razgovore, ona će odrasti i znaće kako da učestvuju u političkim razgovorima. I što je najvažnije, pomoći će drugima da se angažuju.
Thank you.
Hvala.
(Applause)
(Aplauz)