The world makes you something that you're not, but you know inside what you are, and that question burns in your heart: How will you become that? I may be somewhat unique in this, but I am not alone, not alone at all. So when I became a fashion model, I felt that I'd finally achieved the dream that I'd always wanted since I was a young child. My outside self finally matched my inner truth, my inner self. For complicated reasons which I'll get to later, when I look at this picture, at that time I felt like, Geena, you've done it, you've made it, you have arrived. But this past October, I realized that I'm only just beginning. All of us are put in boxes by our family, by our religion, by our society, our moment in history, even our own bodies. Some people have the courage to break free, not to accept the limitations imposed by the color of their skin or by the beliefs of those that surround them. Those people are always the threat to the status quo, to what is considered acceptable.
世界讓你變得不是自己, 但你心裡知道自己是誰, 於是,一個疑問在你心中熊熊燃燒: 「你要怎麼變成那樣的人?」 在這方面,我可能有些獨特, 但是我並不孤單, 我不是一個人。 所以,當我成為了一名模特兒時, 我覺得自己實現了夢想, 那可是從我兒時就夢寐以求的。 我外在的自我最終追尋了我的真實選擇, 追尋了我內在的自我。 原因很複雜,之後我將緩緩道來。 當我看著這張照片, 那時候我心想「吉娜,你已經做到了。 你已經成功了。 你已經實現了夢想。」 但就在去年的 10 月, 我意識到我才剛剛開始。 我們都被我們的家庭所束縛, 被我們的宗教、 被我們的社會、 被歷史的片刻, 甚至是被我們的身體所束縛。 有些人擁有掙脫枷鎖的勇氣, 不接受別人因為他們的膚色, 或者他們信仰的不同,而對他們所加的限制。 這些人永遠都是 對現狀的威脅, 對大眾認知的威脅。 對我而言,過去九年中,
In my case, for the last nine years, some of my neighbors, some of my friends, colleagues, even my agent, did not know about my history. I think, in mystery, this is called the reveal. Here is mine.
我的一些鄰居、 一些朋友、 同事,甚至是我的經紀人 他們都不知道我的過去。 我想這就是所謂的揭示秘密。 下面是我的(秘密)。 我出生時是一個男孩,
I was assigned boy at birth based on the appearance of my genitalia. I remember when I was five years old in the Philippines walking around our house, I would always wear this t-shirt on my head. And my mom asked me, "How come you always wear that t-shirt on your head?" I said, "Mom, this is my hair. I'm a girl." I knew then how to self-identify.
這基於我的生殖器外觀。 我記得當我五歲的時候, 在菲律賓,我們常常屋子附近散步, 我總是把這件T恤裹在頭上。 於是,媽媽問我: 「你為什麽總是把T恤裹在頭上呢?」 我說:「媽媽,這是我的頭髮。我是個女孩。」 我那時就知道該如何自我認同。 性別,長久以來一直被 視為一個客觀事實,
Gender has always been considered a fact, immutable, but we now know it's actually more fluid, complex and mysterious. Because of my success, I never had the courage to share my story, not because I thought what I am is wrong, but because of how the world treats those of us who wish to break free. Every day, I am so grateful because I am a woman. I have a mom and dad and family who accepted me for who I am. Many are not so fortunate.
它是不可改變的。 但是現在我們知道,它其實更容易改變、 複雜和神秘。 因為我事業的成功, 我之前沒有勇氣分享我的故事, 不過,這並不是我覺得自己做錯了什麽。 而是因為世界對待我們這些 想要掙脫禁錮者的方式。 每一天, 我都感激自己是個女人。 我有我的媽媽、爸爸 和接納我的家人。 但很多人並非如此幸運。
There's a long tradition in Asian culture that celebrates the fluid mystery of gender. There is a Buddhist goddess of compassion. There is a Hindu goddess, hijra goddess. So when I was eight years old, I was at a fiesta in the Philippines celebrating these mysteries. I was in front of the stage, and I remember, out comes this beautiful woman right in front of me, and I remember that moment something hit me: That is the kind of woman I would like to be. So when I was 15 years old, still dressing as a boy, I met this woman named T.L. She is a transgender beauty pageant manager. That night she asked me, "How come you are not joining the beauty pageant?" She convinced me that if I joined that she would take care of the registration fee and the garments, and that night, I won best in swimsuit and best in long gown and placed second runner up among 40-plus candidates. That moment changed my life. All of a sudden, I was introduced to the world of beauty pageants. Not a lot of people could say that your first job is a pageant queen for transgender women, but I'll take it.
在亞洲悠久的文化傳統中 有紀念性別改變的宗教儀式。 比如佛教的觀世音菩薩, 和印度教的海吉拉女神。 因此,在我八歲的時候, 我當時參加了一場菲律賓的宗教節慶。 我站在舞臺上, 我記得,有一個美麗的女人 就站在我的面前, 我記得那一刻彷彿有東西擊中了我: 「我要成為這樣的女人。」 所以當我15歲的時候, 那時我依舊打扮成男孩的樣子, 我遇到了一個名叫 T.L. 的女人。 她是一個變性人選美活動的經理。 那天晚上她問我: 「你怎麼不參加選美比賽?」 她說服我,如果我參加的話 她將幫我繳納報名費 和服裝的費用。 那晚, 我贏到了最佳泳衣 和最佳長禮服, 並且在 40 多名選手的比賽中脫穎而出 奪得了亞軍。 那一刻改變了我的生活。 突然間,我進入了 選美比賽的世界。 雖然,很多人沒辦法說自己第一份職業 是變性人界的選美皇后, 但我樂於接受。 所以從我 15 歲到 17 歲,我參加了
So from 15 to 17 years old, I joined the most prestigious pageant to the pageant where it's at the back of the truck, literally, or sometimes it would be a pavement next to a rice field, and when it rains -- it rains a lot in the Philippines -- the organizers would have to move it inside someone's house. I also experienced the goodness of strangers, especially when we would travel in remote provinces in the Philippines. But most importantly, I met some of my best friends in that community.
一場最負盛名的選美比賽, 差不多是一場在卡車後的選美比賽, 或者,有時候它會在稻田邊的路上舉行。 有時天公不作美, 菲律賓總是經常下雨, 主辦單位會將活動轉移到 別人的房子裡。 我也經親歷過陌生人的善良, 尤其是當我們旅行到 菲律賓的一些偏遠省份。 但最重要的是,我遇到了 在那個群體中的一些最好的朋友。 2001 年,
In 2001, my mom, who had moved to San Francisco, called me and told me that my green card petition came through, that I could now move to the United States. I resisted it. I told my mom, "Mom, I'm having fun. I'm here with my friends, I love traveling, being a beauty pageant queen." But then two weeks later she called me, she said, "Did you know that if you move to the United States you could change your name and gender marker?" That was all I needed to hear. My mom also told me to put two E's in the spelling of my name. She also came with me when I had my surgery in Thailand at 19 years old. It's interesting, in some of the most rural cities in Thailand, they perform some of the most prestigious, safe and sophisticated surgery. At that time in the United States, you needed to have surgery before you could change your name and gender marker. So in 2001, I moved to San Francisco, and I remember looking at my California driver's license with the name Geena and gender marker F. That was a powerful moment. For some people, their I.D. is their license to drive or even to get a drink, but for me, that was my license to live, to feel dignified. All of a sudden, my fears were minimized. I felt that I could conquer my dream and move to New York and be a model.
我的媽媽已經搬到舊金山, 她打電話告訴我,我綠卡申請已經通過, 現在,我可以搬去美國。 但是我拒絕了。 我告訴媽媽:「媽媽,我很開心。 這裡有我的朋友們, 我愛旅行,喜歡當選美皇后。」 但兩週之後她又打電話給我,她說: 「你知道如果你移民到美國, 你可以更改姓名和性別嗎?」 有這句話就夠了。 我媽還建議我 把名字中間改成兩個『E』。 當我要做手術時,她還來泰國陪著我, 那年我19歲。 有趣的是,有些泰國最農村的城市 正進行著一些最負盛名的、 安全並且先進的外科手術。 那時在美國, 在你可以更改名字和性別之前, 你需要先完成變性手術。 因此,2001 年,我搬到舊金山。 我還記得看著我的加州駕照 上面寫著名字「Geena, 女性」。 這是一個充滿能量的時刻。 對某些人來說, 他們的身份證意味著有開車資格 或是可以喝酒了。 但對我來說,那是我生活的許可證。 它讓我感覺到尊嚴。 突然間,我不再那麼害怕了。 我覺得自己征服了夢想, 然後,搬到了紐約並成為一名模特兒。 許多人並不那麼幸運。
Many are not so fortunate. I think of this woman named Islan Nettles. She's from New York, she's a young woman who was courageously living her truth, but hatred ended her life. For most of my community, this is the reality in which we live. Our suicide rate is nine times higher than that of the general population. Every November 20, we have a global vigil for Transgender Day of Remembrance. I'm here at this stage because it's a long history of people who fought and stood up for injustice. This is Marsha P. Johnson and Sylvia Rivera. Today, this very moment, is my real coming out. I could no longer live my truth for and by myself. I want to do my best to help others live their truth without shame and terror. I am here, exposed, so that one day there will never be a need for a November 20 vigil.
我想起這個名叫 Ayla Nettles 的女人。 她來自紐約, 是個勇敢面對自己內心選擇, 卻滿懷仇恨地結束生命的女人。 對於我們這個群體的大多數人而言, 這便是我們所生活的現實。 我們的自殺率 是一般大眾的9倍。 每年的11月20日, 我們有一場紀念變性人日 的全球守夜活動。 我在這個舞臺上, 因為這是一段漫長的, 人民站起來對抗不公正的歷史。 這是 Marsha P. Johnson 和 Sylvia Rivera。 今天,是一個非同尋常的時刻, 今天我真正站了出來。 今天我可以不再一個人 活在我的『真實選擇』中。 我要儘可能地幫助別人 活在沒有羞愧和恐懼的世界裡。 我在這裡,坦蕩蕩地分享我的故事, 總有一天, 我們將不再需要紀念每年的11月20日。
My deepest truth allowed me to accept who I am. Will you?
我內心最深處的『真實選擇』 讓我能接受真正的自己。 那麼你呢?
Thank you very much.
謝謝。
(Applause) Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. (Applause)
(掌聲) 謝謝。(掌聲)
Kathryn Schulz: Geena, one quick question for you. I'm wondering what you would say, especially to parents, but in a more broad way, to friends, to family, to anyone who finds themselves encountering a child or a person who is struggling with and uncomfortable with a gender that's being assigned them, what might you say to the family members of that person to help them become good and caring and kind family members to them?
凱薩琳・舒爾茨: 吉娜,問你一個小問題。 我想知道你會說什麼, 尤其是對父母, 但是更廣泛地說,對朋友們, 對家庭,對任何一個發現他們自己 遇到一個孩子或大人 正因為性別的原因 而掙扎和不安。 你將會 對他的家人說什麼 讓他們對這件事的態度 變得友善和關心?
Geena Rocero: Sure. Well, first, really, I'm so blessed. The support system, with my mom especially, and my family, that in itself is just so powerful. I remember every time I would coach young trans women, I would mentor them, and sometimes when they would call me and tell me that their parents can't accept it, I would pick up that phone call and tell my mom, "Mom, can you call this woman?" And sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, so — But it's just, gender identity is in the core of our being, right? I mean, we're all assigned gender at birth, so what I'm trying to do is to have this conversation that sometimes that gender assignment doesn't match, and there should be a space that would allow people to self-identify, and that's a conversation that we should have with parents, with colleagues. The transgender movement, it's at the very beginning, to compare to how the gay movement started. There's still a lot of work that needs to be done. There should be an understanding. There should be a space of curiosity and asking questions, and I hope all of you guys will be my allies.
吉娜・羅塞羅: 當然,是的,首先我很幸運。 對我的支持,特別是我的媽媽 和我的家人,這本身 就如此強大。 我還記得,每次我輔導 年輕的變性女士,指導她們(該怎麼做), 有時候,她們會打電話給我 告訴我她們的父母不能接受這一切, 我會接那個電話,告訴我媽媽: 「媽,妳能幫我打電話給她母親嗎?」 有時成功,有時失敗— — 性別認同是我們生命的核心,對嗎? 我是說,我們生來就有性別, 所以我試著要和他們談談 有時候性別沒有被合情分配的情況。 因此,我們要留有些空間 允許這些人去認同自我, 這就是我們應該 告訴父母、同事的。 變性人運動, 在它一開始的時候 就被與同性戀運動的開端相比較。 我們還有很多工作要做。 請保有一份理解。 一份好奇心 和疑問, 希望你們都是我的盟友。 凱薩琳・舒爾茨:謝謝你。真是太棒了。 吉娜・羅塞羅:謝謝你。
KS: Thank you. That was so lovely. GR: Thank you.
(掌聲)
(Applause)