I think it'll be a relief to some people and a disappointment to others that I'm not going to talk about vaginas today. I began "The Vagina Monologues" because I was worried about vaginas. I'm very worried today about this notion, this world, this prevailing kind of force of security. I see this word, hear this word, feel this word everywhere. Real security, security checks, security watch, security clearance. Why has all this focus on security made me feel so much more insecure? What does anyone mean when they talk about real security? And why have we, as Americans particularly, become a nation that strives for security above all else? In fact, I think that security is elusive. It's impossible. We all die. We all get old. We all get sick. People leave us. People change us. Nothing is secure. And that's actually the good news.
我想現場大概有人會失望,有人則是鬆了一口氣 因為今天的主題不是陰道 因為對陰道的處境感到憂心,所以我創作了陰道獨白 現在我擔心的則是我們的想法和世界 以及其中盛行的,對安全的執迷 不管身在何處,所見所聞所感都擺脫不了這兩個字 真正的安全、安檢、安全警戒、安全許可 為什麼這樣注重安全,反而讓我們覺得越來越不安全? 每個人在說到真正的安全的時候,心裡是怎麼想的? 為什麼,尤其是我們美國人 把安全看得比一切都重要? 說真的,我認為安全空泛而不可能 人人都會死去、衰老、生病、經驗分離 我們因為他人而變,沒有任何事物是穩當的 而這其實是好事
This is, of course, unless your whole life is about being secure. I think that when that is the focus of your life, these are the things that happen. You can't travel very far or venture too far outside a certain circle. You can't allow too many conflicting ideas into your mind at one time, as they might confuse you or challenge you. You can't open yourself to new experiences, new people, new ways of doing things -- they might take you off course. You can't not know who you are, so you cling to hard-matter identity. You become a Christian, Muslim, Jew. You're an Indian, Egyptian, Italian, American. You're a heterosexual or a homosexual, or you never have sex. Or at least, that's what you say when you identify yourself. You become part of an "us." In order to be secure, you defend against "them." You cling to your land because it is your secure place. You must fight anyone who encroaches upon it. You become your nation. You become your religion. You become whatever it is that will freeze you, numb you and protect you from doubt or change. But all this does, actually, is shut down your mind. In reality, it does not really make you safer.
除非你的人生目標就是穩當安全 我覺得人生的重心要是如此 後果就是 沒有辦法遠行,或是走出某個範圍太遠 心裡不能同時存在太多衝突的想法 唯恐造成混亂或挑戰 無法以開放的心體驗新的人、事、物 還有做事的新方法,因為這可能讓我們偏離常軌 因為不了解自己,只好向某個強勢身分靠攏 因此我們成了基督、回教、猶太教徒 變成印度人、埃及人、義大利人、美國人 是異性戀或同性戀,或者無性 或者至少,這是你自我認同的一部份 你,變成了某個「我們」的一部份 而為了安全,你必須對抗「他們」 死守著自己的土地,因為那是你的安全範圍 必須對抗任何侵略者 你變成了你的國家、你的宗教 你變成了能夠讓自己維持現狀、麻木的一切 藉此保護自己免於懷疑或改變 然而這一切真正做到的只是關上你的心 實際上並沒有真正讓你更加安全
I was in Sri Lanka, for example, three days after the tsunami, and I was standing on the beaches and it was absolutely clear that, in a matter of five minutes, a 30-foot wave could rise up and desecrate a people, a population and lives. All this striving for security, in fact, has made you much more insecure because now you have to watch out all the time. There are people not like you -- people who you now call enemies. You have places you cannot go, thoughts you cannot think, worlds that you can no longer inhabit. And so you spend your days fighting things off, defending your territory and becoming more entrenched in your fundamental thinking. Your days become devoted to protecting yourself. This becomes your mission. That is all you do. Ideas get shorter. They become sound bytes. There are evildoers and saints, criminals and victims.
舉例來說,海嘯過後第三天,我到了斯里蘭卡 當時站在沙灘上的我 清楚的知道,可能在短短五分鐘內 30 呎的大浪就會襲來 捲走一群人、一個族群和許多生命 所有對安全的渴求,其實 只是讓我們更不安全 因為現在,時時刻刻都要小心 那些和你不同的人,那些現在成為了敵人的人 有些地方不能去了,有些想法不能想了 有些區域的世界無法居住了 因此,每天都要抵抗、捍衛自己的領土 同時更加耽溺於自己的中心想法 每天就是保護自己 這成了你的使命,你所作的一切 想法越變越短,甚至成了短短的詞 成了惡人和聖人、犯人和受害人
There are those who, if they're not with us, are against us. It gets easier to hurt people because you do not feel what's inside them. It gets easier to lock them up, force them to be naked, humiliate them, occupy them, invade them and kill them, because they are only obstacles now to your security. In six years, I've had the extraordinary privilege through V-Day, a global movement against [violence against] women, to travel probably to 60 countries, and spend a great deal of time in different portions. I've met women and men all over this planet, who through various circumstances -- war, poverty, racism, multiple forms of violence -- have never known security, or have had their illusion of security forever devastated. I've spent time with women in Afghanistan under the Taliban, who were essentially brutalized and censored. I've been in Bosnian refugee camps. I was with women in Pakistan who have had their faces melted off with acid. I've been with girls all across America who were date-raped, or raped by their best friends when they were drugged one night.
而那些不贊同我們的,就是敵人 對他人若無同理心,傷害人就更簡單了 囚禁、強迫他們脫光衣服、羞辱他們 佔領、侵略還有殺害他們就沒那麼難 因為他們只是你獲得安全的障礙物 這六年來,我很幸運可以透過 V-Day 這個反對暴力侵害女性的全球運動 走訪了約 60 個國家 並且在各地停留很長的時間 與來自世界各地的男性女性見面 這些人都經歷了許多 戰爭、貧窮、種族歧視、各種暴力 他們從沒嘗過安全的滋味 或早已對安全不寄望任何幻想 我曾與塔利班統治下的阿富汗婦女相處 她們遭遇殘暴欺凌、飽受壓迫 我也曾去過波士尼亞難民營 曾經見過巴基斯坦的婦女 臉遭強酸毀容 也曾見過來自美國各地,遭遇約會強暴 或是被好友下藥迷姦
One of the amazing things that I've discovered in my travels is that there is this emerging species. I loved when he was talking about this other world that's right next to this world. I've discovered these people, who, in V-Day world, we call Vagina Warriors. These particular people, rather than getting AK-47s, or weapons of mass destruction, or machetes, in the spirit of the warrior, have gone into the center, the heart of pain, of loss. They have grieved it, they have died into it, and allowed and encouraged poison to turn into medicine. They have used the fuel of their pain to begin to redirect that energy towards another mission and another trajectory.
在旅途中,我所發現的其中一件驚人的事 就是一個日漸茁壯的族群 看到在現實邊緣的另一個世界,我很喜歡主持人的這個說法 我發現了這一群在 V-Day 的辭彙中 稱作陰道鬥士的人 這群特別的人,手裡拿的不是 AK-47 步槍 也沒有大規模毀滅性武器或開山刀 只憑著一股鬥士精神,深入痛苦與失落的核心 在悲傷之後,在枯槁之後 將毒藥化為良藥 將源源不絕的痛苦轉化為能量 成就其他任務,走出另一條路
These warriors now devote themselves and their lives to making sure what happened to them doesn't happen to anyone else. There are thousands if not millions of them on the planet. I venture there are many in this room. They have a fierceness and a freedom that I believe is the bedrock of a new paradigm. They have broken out of the existing frame of victim and perpetrator. Their own personal security is not their end goal, and because of that, because, rather than worrying about security, because the transformation of suffering is their end goal, I actually believe they are creating real safety and a whole new idea of security. I want to talk about a few of these people that I've met.
這些鬥士奉獻自己和生命 確保他們過往的經歷,不會在他人身上重演 在這世上,這樣的人沒有幾百萬也有幾千 我敢說在場就有許多 他們果敢而且享有自由 我相信那就是新行為模式的基礎 他們走出了加害人與被害者的既有框架 他們的最終目的並非維護自身安全 而正因為如此,因為擔心的並不是安全 而是將轉化磨難當作終極目標 我真的相信他們正在構築真正的安全 並且重新定義安全 我想談談我見到的幾個鬥士們
Tomorrow, I am going to Cairo, and I'm so moved that I will be with women in Cairo who are V-Day women, who are opening the first safe house for battered women in the Middle East. That will happen because women in Cairo made a decision to stand up and put themselves on the line, and talk about the degree of violence that is happening in Egypt, and were willing to be attacked and criticized. And through their work over the last years, this is not only happening that this house is opening, but it's being supported by many factions of the society who never would have supported it. Women in Uganda this year, who put on "The Vagina Monologues" during V-Day, actually evoked the wrath of the government.
明天我將啟程前往開羅 我非常感動能夠加入開羅的女性 這些 V-day 的女鬥士們,為第一間收容所進行開幕 收容中東受苦的女性們 這一切都是因為開羅女性決心挺身而出 親自站上火線 讓大家知道埃及目前的暴力現狀 她們甘願承受攻擊和批判 而且她們多年來的努力 不但催生了收容所的開幕 還讓許多社會黨派 一反過去的抗拒,轉而支持 今年在烏干達的女性 想利用 V-day 上演陰道獨白 此舉激起政壇軒然大波
And, I love this story so much. There was a cabinet meeting and a meeting of the presidents to talk about whether "Vaginas" could come to Uganda. And in this meeting -- it went on for weeks in the press, two weeks where there was huge discussion. The government finally made a decision that "The Vagina Monologues" could not be performed in Uganda. But the amazing news was that because they had stood up, these women, and because they had been willing to risk their security, it began a discussion that not only happened in Uganda, but all of Africa. As a result, this production, which had already sold out, every single person in that 800-seat audience, except for 10 people, made a decision to keep the money. They raised 10,000 dollars on a production that never occurred.
我很愛分享這個故事 因為他們召開內閣會議,所有部會首長都出席 討論陰道獨白能不能在烏干達上演 媒體報導了好幾個星期,這個會議 反覆討論了兩個星期之後 政府終於做了最終決定 禁止陰道獨白在烏干達演出 不過奇妙的是,這些女性站出來 甘願冒險犧牲自身安全的舉動 掀起了討論,而且不只在烏干達 也延燒到非洲各地 因此最後這場票早已全賣光 買了那 800 張票的所有觀眾,除了 10 個人外 都選擇不退票 這場從未揭幕的演出就這樣募到 1 萬美元
There's a young woman named Carrie Rethlefsen in Minnesota. She's a high school student. She had seen "The Vagina Monologues" and she was really moved. And as a result, she wore an "I heart my vagina" button to her high school in Minnesota.
在明尼蘇達州,也有個名叫 Kerry Ruffleson 的女生 她還是高中生 她看完陰道獨白後大為感動 因此帶著「我愛我的陰道」胸章到她明尼蘇達州的高中上課
(Laughter)
(大笑)
She was basically threatened to be expelled from school. They told her she couldn't love her vagina in high school, that it was not a legal thing, that it was not a moral thing, that it was not a good thing. So she really struggled with this, what to do, because she was a senior and she was doing well in her school and she was threatened expulsion. So what she did is she got all her friends together -- I believe it was 100, 150 students all wore "I love my vagina" T-shirts, and the boys wore "I love her vagina" T-shirts to school.
學校幾乎揚言要將她退學 校方告訴她,在高中她不能愛自己的陰道 因為道德跟法律都不容許 因為這樣的舉動並不是好事 因此她十分掙扎,不知如何是好 因為她是高年級生,而且成績很好 現在學校揚言要退學,所以她的做法是集合所有的朋友 我想應該有 100、150 名學生吧 她們全都穿上「我愛我的陰道」T 恤 男生則穿「我愛她的陰道」T 恤到學校
(Laughter)
(大笑)
Now this seems like a fairly, you know, frivolous, but what happened as a result of that, is that that school now is forming a sex education class. It's beginning to talk about sex, it's beginning to look at why it would be wrong for a young high school girl to talk about her vagina publicly or to say that she loved her vagina publicly.
這樣的舉動看起來十分輕浮 不過,也因為如此,學校現在 設計了性教育課,開始談論性 開始探討為什麼 高中女生不能公開談論她的陰道 或公開宣告她愛她的陰道
I know I've talked about Agnes here before, but I want to give you an update on Agnes. I met Agnes three years ago in the Rift Valley. When she was a young girl, she had been mutilated against her will. That mutilation of her clitoris had actually obviously impacted her life and changed it in a way that was devastating. She made a decision not to go and get a razor or a glass shard, but to devote her life to stopping that happening to other girls. For eight years, she walked through the Rift Valley. She had this amazing box that she carried and it had a torso of a woman's body in it, a half a torso, and she would teach people, everywhere she went, what a healthy vagina looked like and what a mutilated vagina looked like. In the years that she walked, she educated parents, mothers, fathers. She saved 1,500 girls from being cut.
我知道先前已經在這裡談過 Agnes 不過我想讓你們知道她的近況 三年前我在 Rift Valley 遇見 Agnes 她小時候就被迫施行割禮 她的陰核遭到割除之後 對她的生活造成極大的影響 甚至讓她彷如置身地獄 她決定不要拿把刀或碎玻璃了結自己 而要奉獻一生,致力阻止同樣的事在其他女性身上重演 8 年以來,她走遍 Rift Valley 帶著一個很有趣的箱子 箱子裡裝的是女性的半個身體 她每到一處就教當地人 了解健康和割禮後的陰道外觀 在這徒步奔波的幾年內,她教育了父母、母親和父親 拯救了 1500 名女性免於割禮
When V-Day met her, we asked her how we could support her and she said, "Well, if you got me a Jeep, I could get around a lot faster." So, we bought her a Jeep. In the year she had the Jeep, she saved 4,500 girls from being cut. So, we said, what else could we do? She said, "If you help me get money, I could open a house." Three years ago, Agnes opened a safe house in Africa to stop mutilation. When she began her mission eight years ago, she was reviled, she was detested, she was completely slandered in her community. I am proud to tell you that six months ago, she was elected the deputy mayor of Narok.
V-Day 找到她時,我們問她能幫什麼忙 她說給我一台吉普車 我就能更快到達各地,就這樣我們為她買了吉普車 有了車那年,她救了 4500 名女性免於割禮 我們又問,還能幫什麼忙? 她說要是能幫我募到款,我就能蓋收容所 三年前,Agnes 在非洲開了杜絕割禮的收容所 8 年前她剛起步的時候,飽受屈辱 遭到鄙視,她的族人將她趕出去 現在,我能很驕傲的告訴大家,6 個月前 她當選了 Narok 的副市長
(Applause)
(鼓掌)
I think what I'm trying to say here is that if your end goal is security, and if that's all you're focusing on, what ends up happening is that you create not only more insecurity in other people, but you make yourself far more insecure. Real security is contemplating death, not pretending it doesn't exist. Not running from loss, but entering grief, surrendering to sorrow. Real security is not knowing something, when you don't know it. Real security is hungering for connection rather than power. It cannot be bought or arranged or made with bombs. It is deeper, it is a process, it is acute awareness that we are all utterly inter-bended, and one action by one being in one tiny town has consequences everywhere. Real security is not only being able to tolerate mystery, complexity, ambiguity, but hungering for them and only trusting a situation when they are present.
我想我要分享的是 如果我們的目標只是安全 如果那是我們唯一關注的事 結果不只是讓他人更不安全 還讓自己更加不安全 真正的安全是深思死亡的意義,而不是假裝它不存在 不是逃避失落,而是深入傷痛、接受悲傷 真正的安全是不知為不知 真正的安全是渴望建立連結而非積累武力 真正的安全無法購買、安排或以軍力達成 而是更加深層的一種進展過程,是種深刻的體認 體認到人與人之間擁有強烈緊密的內在連結 小城市裡某人的行為 會在其他各處產生影響 真正的安全不只是能夠 包容不幸、複雜、模糊,不只是對其抱持著渴望 不只因為你看得到,才相信某個狀況確實存在。
Something happened when I began traveling in V-Day, eight years ago. I got lost. I remember being on a plane going from Kenya to South Africa, and I had no idea where I was. I didn't know where I was going, where I'd come from, and I panicked. I had a total anxiety attack. And then I suddenly realized that it absolutely didn't matter where I was going, or where I had come from because we are all essentially permanently displaced people. All of us are refugees. We come from somewhere and we are hopefully traveling all the time, moving towards a new place. Freedom means I may not be identified as any one group, but that I can visit and find myself in every group. It does not mean that I don't have values or beliefs, but it does mean I am not hardened around them. I do not use them as weapons. In the shared future, it will be just that, shared. The end goal will [be] becoming vulnerable, realizing the place of our connection to one another, rather than becoming secure, in control and alone. Thank you very much.
8 年前,我在 V-Day 巡迴時迷了路 記得當時在肯亞到南非的飛機上 我完全不知道自己置身何處 不知道要到哪裡去,又是從哪裡來的 我慌了,整個人焦慮到崩潰 然後,我突然了解到 我的起點終點為何完全不重要 因為說到底,我們全都是永遠被錯置的人們 我們全都是飄泊的難民 我們來自某處,而且隨時都在旅行 遷移到新的地方 自由的真義就是我不必被劃歸於某個團體 不過卻可以接觸任何團體,並且在其中找到自我 這不表示喪失自我價值觀或信仰 而是表示我並不會被它們箝制 也不用它們作為武器 在我們共享的未來,就會是這樣,只能共享 終極目標會越來越脆弱 了解我們必須與他人建立連結之處 而不是一切都安穩平順、完全掌控,孤獨而終 謝謝各位
(Applause)
(鼓掌)
Chris Anderson: And how are you doing? Are you exhausted? On a typical day, do you wake up with hope or gloom? Eve Ensler: You know, I think Carl Jung once said that in order to survive the twentieth century, we have to live with two existing thoughts, opposite thoughts, at the same time. And I think part of what I'm learning in this process is that one must allow oneself to feel grief. And I think as long as I keep grieving, and weeping, and then moving on, I'm fine. When I start to pretend that what I'm seeing isn't impacting me, and isn't changing my heart, then I get in trouble. Because when you spend a lot of time going from place to place, country to country, and city to city, the degree to which women, for example, are violated, and the epidemic of it, and the kind of ordinariness of it, is so devastating to one's soul that you have to take the time, or I have to take the time now, to process that.
請問妳現在感覺如何?很累嗎? 平常每天起床妳是滿懷希望還是滿心憂鬱? 知道嗎?我想心裡學家容格曾說 要在 20 世紀生存 就要與兩種同時存在卻完全相反的想法共生 我想在這樣的過程中,我學到的一部份 就是一個人必須允許自己感受悲傷 我相信只要自己能繼續感到悲傷流淚 然後擦乾淚繼續向前,那就沒事 反之,要是開始假裝所見所聞不再影響自己 不再改變我的心靈,那才真是麻煩了 因為,當妳大部分的時間都在到處奔波 到各個國家、走遍各個城市 看到女性,舉例來說,受到侵犯的比率 看到這樣嚴重的問題,如此廣泛頻繁的發生 對一個人的靈魂是無以復加的傷痛,需要時間才能平復 至少對我是需要時間慢慢調適
CA: There are a lot of causes out there in the world that have been talked about, you know, poverty, sickness and so on. You spent eight years on this one. Why this one? EE: I think that if you think about women, women are the primary resource of the planet. They give birth, we come from them, they are mothers, they are visionaries, they are the future. If you think that the U.N. now says that one out of three women on the planet will be raped or beaten in their lifetime, we're talking about the desecration of the primary resource of the planet, we're talking about the place where we come from, we're talking about parenting. Imagine that you've been raped and you're bringing up a boy child. How does it impact your ability to work, or envision a future, or thrive, as opposed to just survive? What I believe is if we could figure out how to make women safe and honor women, it would be parallel or equal to honoring life itself.
這個世界上還有其他很多受到討論的各種議題 例如貧窮、疾病等許多問題,而妳在這個單一議題就花了八年 為什麼選了這一個? 我的想法是,當我們想到女性 女性是地球的主要資源,因為她們生育 她們是我們的本源,她們是母親而且有遠見 她們是未來。大家想想聯合國發表的數據 地球上 3 分之 1 的女性 在其一生中會遭到強暴或毆打 這就是傷害地球主要資源 影響的是我們的本源、我們的生育養成 試想要是妳遭到強暴而且懷孕了,得養大肚子裡的小男孩 這對妳的工作能力、對未來的計畫想望會有什麼影響? 或是在生存之外,對妳的成長茁壯又有何影響? 我相信要是能夠保護並尊重女性 就是等於尊重生命