[This talk contains mature content]
〔本演說有成人內容〕
I have a vagina.
我有陰道。
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
Just thought you should know. That might not come as a surprise to some of you. I look like a woman. I'm dressed like one, I guess. The thing is, I also have balls. And it does take a lot of nerve to come up here and talk to you about my genitalia. Just a little. But I'm not talking about bravery or courage. I mean literally -- I have balls. Right here, right where a lot of you have ovaries. I'm not male or female. I'm intersex.
只是覺得應該要讓你們知道。 有些人應該不會感到驚訝。 我看起來像是女人, 我想自己穿得也像女人。 重點是,我也有睪丸。 真的需要很大的膽量, 才能走上這個舞台, 跟各位談我的生殖器, 只談一點點。 但,我不是要談勇敢或勇氣。 我是說真的——我很「有種」。 就在這裡, 就在許多人有卵巢的位置。 我不是男性或女性, 我是雙性人。
Most people assume that you're biologically either a man or a woman, but it's actually a lot more complex than that. There are so many ways somebody could be intersex. In my case, it means I was born with XY chromosomes, which you probably know as male chromosomes. And I was born with a vagina and balls inside my body. I don't respond to testosterone, so during puberty, I grew breasts, but I never got acne or body hair, body oil. You can be jealous of that.
大部分人都會假設, 你在生理上不是男性就是女性, 但其實沒有那麼簡單。 有許多可能都會讓 一個人成為雙性人。 就我來說,我出生時 就有 XY 染色體, 你們可能知道, 這就是男性染色體。 我出生時,身體裡面 就有陰道和睪丸。 我對睪丸素沒有反應, 所以,在青春期時, 我的乳房開始發育, 但我從來沒有過 青春痘、體毛、體油。 你們可以嫉妒一下。
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
But even though I don't actually have a uterus -- I was born without one, so I don't menstruate, I can't have biological children. We put people in boxes based on their genitalia. Before a baby's even born, we ask whether it's a boy or a girl, as if it actually matters; as if you're going to be less excited about having a baby if it doesn't have the genitals you wanted; as if what's between somebody's legs tells you anything about that person. Are they kind, generous, funny? Smart? Who do they want to be when they grow up?
但即便如此,我也沒有子宮, 我生來就沒有, 所以我沒有月經,我不能生孩子。 我們用生殖器來把人分類。 在寶寶都還沒生出來之前, 我們就問是男孩還是女孩, 好像這點真的很重要; 說得好像如果你的寶寶 沒有你想要的生殖器, 你的興奮就會打折似的; 說得好像一個人兩腿之間的東西 能告訴你關於這人的一些事似的。 他們會是仁慈的? 大方的?有趣的? 聰明的? 他們長大會想要成為什麼人?
Genitals don't actually tell you anything. Yet, we define ourselves by them. In this society, we love putting people into boxes and labeling each other. It kind of gives us a sense of belonging and teaches us how to interact with one another. But there's one really big problem: biological sex is not black or white. It's on a spectrum.
生殖器不能告訴你任何事。 但,我們卻用生殖器 來定義我們自己。 在這個社會,我們喜歡 把人分類,給彼此貼標籤。 這樣可以給我們一種歸屬感, 並教導我們如何和彼此互動。 但,有個非常大的問題: 生理性別並不是非黑即白, 它是一個範圍。
Besides your genitalia, you also have your chromosomes, your gonads, like ovaries or testicles. You have your internal sex organs, your hormone production, your hormone response and your secondary sex characteristics, like breast development, body hair, etc. Those seven areas of biological sex all have so much variation, yet we only get two options: male or female. Which is kind of absurd to me, because I can't think of a single other human trait that there's only two options for: skin color, hair, height, eyes. You can either have nose A or nose B, that's it, no other options.
除了生殖器,你也有染色體, 也有生殖腺,比如卵巢或睪丸。 你有內部性器官、 你的荷爾蒙生成、 你的荷爾蒙反應, 以及你的第二性徵, 比如乳房發育、體毛等等。 生理性別的那七個領域, 都有許多不同的可能, 但我們卻只有兩種選項: 男性或女性。 對我來說蠻荒唐的, 因為我無法想出 還有哪一種人類特性 只有兩個選項: 膚色、頭髮、身高、眼睛。 你只能有這種鼻子或那種鼻子, 就這樣,沒其他選擇。
If there are infinite ways for our bodies to look, our minds to think, personalities to act, wouldn't it make sense that there's that much variety in biological sex, too? Did you know that besides XX or XY chromosomes, you could have XX and XY chromosomes? Or you could have an extra X -- XXY. Or two extra -- XXXY. Goes on from there. And for those "normal" people with XX or XY, what does that mean? I have XY chromosomes. If my DNA is found at the scene of a crime -- not saying it will, but, you know, we'll see.
如果人類是千變萬化的, 不論是我們身體的外觀、 我們大腦的思想、 個性的行為, 那麼生理性別也有許多種可能性, 不是很合理嗎? 你們是否知道, 除了 XX 或 XY 染色體, 也可能同時有 XX 和 XY 染色體? 或者也有可能多一個 X —— XXY, 或者多兩個—— XXXY, 以此類推。 那麼,對於那些有 XX 或 XY 的「正常」人來說, 這意味著什麼? 我有 XY 染色體。 如果在犯罪現場發現我的 DNA —— 並不是說會發生這種事, 但,誰知道呢。
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
If my skeleton is discovered thousands of years from now, I'll be labeled male. Is that the truth? My balls would say so. But what about the rest of me? And what if a woman has ovarian cancer and has to have her ovaries removed? Does she still qualify as a woman? What about other intersex people who are born without balls or ovaries or with just one or a combination of the two? Where do they go? Do you have to have a uterus to be a woman? There's a lot of us who are born without one.
如果在幾千年後發現我的骨骸, 我會被歸為男性。 那是真的嗎? 我的睪丸會說是。 但我其他的部分呢? 如果一名女子得了卵巢癌 而把卵巢拿掉了呢? 她還算是女人嗎? 那麼其他的雙性人呢, 他們生來就沒有睪丸或卵巢, 或只有一個,或有兩者的組合? 他們算什麼? 要有子宮才算是女人嗎? 我們有很多人生出來就沒有子宮。
And everyone's favorite part, genitalia: you either have one or the other, right? You either have a six-inch-long penis that's exactly this thick, jutting straight out of the body at a 90-degree angle, or you have a vagina that's this wide internally and a clitoris that's half an inch above the vaginal opening and labia that look exactly like they're supposed to look like, according to that one porn video you watched that one time. You know the one. If you've been with more than one sexual partner in your lifetime, and you line them up, one by one, I guarantee you can identify them just by their genitalia.
至於大家最愛的部位,生殖器: 你只會有這種或另一種,對吧? 你若不是有一根 六英吋的陰莖,就這麼粗, 以九十度的角度伸出你的身體, 要不然就是有個陰道, 在體內有這麼寬, 還有個陰蒂,在陰道開口 上方半英吋的位置, 還有陰脣,有著它們應有的樣子, 以你那次看過的色情片 為標準。你知道哪部的。 如果你一生中有不止一位性伴侶, 你讓他們排排站, 我敢保證你光看他們的 生殖器就能認出誰是誰。
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
Think about it. Go on.
想想看。 想吧。
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
I see you. No judging. Just notice. All different, right?
我看到你了。 沒有評斷。 只是注意到了。 都不一樣,對吧?
The sex and gender binary are both so ingrained in our society, that we never stop to think about it. We just automatically place each other into one box or the other, as if it actually matters. Until somebody comes along to make you question it. And if you're thinking that I'm the exception, an anomaly, an outlier: intersex people represent around two percent of the population. That's the same percentage as genetic redheads. It's about 150 million people, roughly, which is more than the entire population of Russia. So there's a lot of us, needless to say. We're not new or rare. We're just invisible. We've existed throughout every culture in history. Yet, we never talk about it.
性和性別的二元性 在我們的社會中根深蒂固, 深到我們從來沒有停止去想它。 我們會很自動就把彼此 歸到某一類或另一類, 好像這真的很重要似的。 直到有人來點你一下, 讓你質疑它。 如果你們認為我是個例外、 異常特例、離群值: 人口中大約有 2% 是雙性人。 遺傳紅頭髮的人也佔同樣的比例。 粗略來算,大約是一億五千萬人, 這比俄國的總人口數還多。 所以,不用說,我們人數很多。 我們不是新出現的或罕見的, 我們只是隱形了。 在歷史上,每個文化中 都有我們這種人。 但,我們從來沒有去談它。
In fact, a lot of people might not know that they're intersex. Have you had a karyotype test to determine your chromosomes? What about a full blood panel for all of your hormone levels? A friend of mine found out last year, in his 50s. The executive director of interACT, which is the leading organization for intersex human rights here in the US, she found out she was intersex at age 41. Her doctors found out when she was 15, but they didn't tell her. They lied and said that she had cancer, because that seemed like an easier option than finding out she wasn't "fully" a woman. This kind of thing happens a lot, where intersex people are lied to or kept in the dark about our bodies, which comes as a surprise to a lot of people. But we live in a society that doesn't talk about sex or bodies at all, unless it's to mock or shame each other.
事實上,很多人可能 不知道自己是雙性人。 你可曾做過染色體核型測試, 來判斷你的染色體? 或是做過完整的血檢, 包含所有的荷爾蒙含量? 我一位朋友去年才發現, 他已經五十多歲。 interACT 是美國居領導地位的 雙性人人權組織, 該組織的執行董事 在四十一歲時才發現她的雙性人。 她的醫生在她十五歲時就發現了, 但他們沒有告訴她。 他們說謊,說她得了癌症, 因為這個選擇似乎比較容易接受, 不用知道她並不是個 「完整」的女人。 這種狀況很常發生, 雙性人聽到謊言或是蒙在鼓裡, 並不知道他們身體的真相, 這點讓很多人感到驚訝。 但,我們所處的社會 完全不談論性或是身體, 除非是要嘲笑或羞辱彼此。
I found out I was intersex at age 10, and for the most part, I was fine with that information. It didn't really faze me; I was still developing my understanding of the world. It wasn't until I got older and realized I didn't fit society's expectations of me, that I didn't belong, that I was abnormal. And that's when the shame started. How many times have you seen kids play with the "wrong" toys for their gender? Or try on the "wrong" clothes? All the time, right? Kids don't have these ideas about gender norm, they don't have shame about who they're supposed to be or what they're supposed to like or love. They don't care about any of this stuff. They don't have shame until we put it on them.
我十歲時得知自己是雙性人, 大多數的情況下, 我都能接受這項資訊。 它並沒有煩擾我, 我還在探索、了解這個世界。 直到我長大些, 才發現,我並不符合 社會對我的期望, 發現我沒有歸屬,發現我不正常。 那時,我開始感到羞恥。 你們有看過多少次,孩子拿 不符性別、「錯」的玩具來玩? 或穿「錯」衣服? 很常見,對吧? 對於性別標準, 孩子沒有什麼概念, 他們不會因為 他們應該成為怎樣的人、 應該喜愛什麼,而感到羞恥, 他們完全不在乎這些。 他們沒有羞恥,直到我們 把羞恥加到他們身上。
I also had doctors lie to me. At age 10, they told me that I would also get cancer unless I removed my balls. Then they proceeded to tell me that every year. Until today, there are still doctors who want me to remove them. But there's literally no reason. If a typical XY male, like yourself, has testicles, and one is undescended, there's a high chance of it becoming cancerous -- or a higher chance of it becoming cancerous. They need to thermoregulated. So they drop down away from the body to cool off, or they shrink back up to get warm. Mine don't need to do that. They're not responding to testosterone, they're not producing sperm. They're fine right here inside my body. Yet, because there's such a lack of information about intersex people, my doctors never understood the difference. They never really understood my body.
也有醫生對我說謊。 我十歲時,他們告訴我, 若不把我的睪丸移除, 我也會得癌症。 接下來他們每年都會這樣告訴我。 至今,仍然有些醫生 會希望我把睪丸拿掉。 但其實並沒有任何理由。 典型的 XY 男性,就像你們, 有睪丸, 若其中一個睪丸是隱睪, 就有很高的可能性會致癌—— 或是有比較高的機會會致癌。 它們需要溫度調節。 所以它們會落下來, 遠離身體以冷卻, 或是縮回去,以取得溫暖。 我的睪丸不用這麼做。 它們對睪丸素沒有反應, 它們不會產生精子。 在我的身體中,它們好好的。 但,因為關於雙性人的 資訊很匱乏, 我的醫生從來沒有搞懂這差別。 他們從來沒有真的 了解過我的身體。
As I got older, I had another doctor tell me that I needed to have surgery on my vagina. She said that until I had an operation, until she operated, I would not be able to have "normal sex" with my husband one day. Her words. I didn't end up going through with the operation, and I'm incredibly grateful for that. I'm not here to talk about my sex life.
當我長大些, 有另一位醫生告訴我, 我的陰道需要動手術。 她說,若我不接受手術, 若她不給我動手術, 將來我就無法 和我先生有「正常的性交」。 這是她的用字。 我最後沒有動手術, 謝天謝地。 我不是來談我的性生活的。
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
But let's just say it's fine.
但,咱們就姑且說, 我的性生活很好。
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
I'm fine, my body is fine. You actually wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between me and another person unless I told you; you wouldn't be able to tell that I was intersex unless I told you. But again, because of the lack of understanding about bodies, my doctor didn't understand the difference. And for the most part, my sex life is fine. The only issue that really comes up is that sometimes, sexual situations bring up memories of doctors touching me, over and over again since I was 10. I've been really lucky to escape -- I didn't think I would get emotional -- I've been really lucky to escape the physical harm that comes from these unnecessary surgeries. But no intersex person is free from the emotional harm that comes from living in a society that tries to cover up your existence. Most of my intersex friends have had operations like these. Oftentimes, they will remove testes like mine, even though my risk of testicular cancer is lower than the risk of breast cancer in a typical woman with no predisposition, no family history. But we don't tell her to remove her breasts, do we?
我很好,我的身體很好。 你們其實根本分辨不出 我和其他人的差別, 除非我告訴你們; 若我沒說,你們不會 知道我是雙性人。 但,同樣的,因為缺乏 對身體的了解, 我的醫生不知道差別。 大部分的時候,我的性生活很好。 唯一會出現的議題, 就是有時候,性情境會讓我 想起過去醫生觸碰我的記憶, 從我十歲起,一而再 再而三地觸碰我。 我很幸運,我逃脫了—— 沒想到我現在還會 因此而情緒激動—— 我真的很幸運, 逃離了身體的傷害, 沒有接受不必要的手術。 但,沒有一個雙性人 沒受到情緒的傷害, 這傷害來自於生活在一個 試圖掩飾你存在的社會當中。 我大部分的雙性人朋友 都接受過這類手術。 通常,他們會把 跟我一樣情況的睪丸拿掉, 即使我得到睪丸癌的風險 比一個無易染病體質和家庭病史的 典型女性得乳癌的風險還低。 但我們並不會叫她們 把乳房拿掉,對吧?
It's rare to meet an intersex person that hasn't been operated on. Oftentimes, these surgeries are done to improve intersex kids' lives, but they usually end up doing the opposite, causing more harm and complications, both physical and emotional. I'm not saying that doctors are bad or evil. It's just that we live in a society that causes some doctors to "fix" those of us who don't fit their definition of normal. We're not problems that need to be fixed. We just live in a society that needs to be enlightened.
很少會遇到沒有 接受過手術的雙性人。 通常,這些手術的目的 是要改善雙性孩子的生活, 但通常結果卻是相反的, 手術造成更多傷害和併發症, 包括身體上和情緒上的。 我並不是說醫生很壞或很邪惡, 只是我們所處的社會,造成 一些醫生會要「修好」我們這樣的人, 因為我們不符合他們對於正常的定義。 我們並不是需要修好的問題, 我們只是生活在一個 需要被教導的社會中。
One of the ways I'm doing that is by creating a genderless puberty guidebook that can teach kids about their bodies as they grow up. Not their girl bodies or their boy bodies -- just their bodies. We often place unrealistic expectations on the things that our bodies do that are outside of our control. I mean, if one man can grow a full, luxurious, hipster beard, and the other can only grow a few mustache hairs, what does that mean about who they are as men? Nothing. It literally, most likely, just means that their hair follicles respond to testosterone in different ways. Yet, how many times have you heard a man ashamed about something like this?
我的做法之一, 就是創造一本 無性別的青春期指南, 在孩子成長的過程中, 教導他們關於身體的知識。 不是談女孩的身體, 或男孩的身體—— 就只是談他們的身體。 我們身體能做什麼, 不是我們能控制的, 但我們對此通常會有不實際的期望。 如果一個男人可以長出 非常濃密的紳士鬍, 另一個男人只能長出幾根鬍鬚, 對這兩位男人是什麼人, 這有什麼意涵? 沒有。 這唯一的意涵就是, 他們的毛囊對於睪丸素 有不同的反應方式。 但,你可曾聽過多少次, 男人對此感到羞恥?
Imagine a world where we could live in a society that teaches us not to have shame about the things that our bodies do or do not do. I want to change the way that we think about biological sex in this society -- which is a lot to ask for. You could say it's ballsy, I guess.
想像一個世界,我們所處的社會 能教導我們不要因為我們的身體 能做什麼或不能做什麼 而感到羞恥。 我想要改變這個社會中, 我們對於生理性別的看法—— 這要求很多。 我想,你可以說 這要求很「帶種」。
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
But eventually we accepted the world as round, right? We no longer diagnose gay people with mental disorders or women with hysteria. We don't think epilepsy is caused by the devil anymore, so that's cool.
但,最終我們都接受 地球是圓的了,對吧? 我們不再認為同性戀 是得了心理疾病, 不再認為女人是歇斯底里的。 我們不再認為癲癇 是魔鬼造成的了,那很好。
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
We constantly change and evolve, the more we understand as a society. And biological sex is on a spectrum. It's not black or white. Not only could that knowledge save intersex kids from physical and emotional harm, I think it would help everyone else, too. Who here has ever felt inadequate or ashamed because you weren't girly enough, you were too girly, you weren't manly enough, or too manly? We constantly shame people for not fitting into a box, but the reality is, I think we shame others because it prevents them from seeing that we don't fit inside our boxes, either. And the truth is that nobody actually fits in a box, because they don't exist. This binary, this false male-female facade is something we constructed, we built ourselves. But it doesn't have to exist. We can break it down. And that's what I want to do. Will you join me?
我們不斷在改變和進化, 我們這個社會了解的越來越多。 生理性別指的是一個範圍, 它不是黑白二分法。 這項知識不僅能拯救雙性孩子, 讓他們免受身體和情緒的傷害, 我認為,它也能幫助所有其他人。 這裡有誰曾經感到過 格格不入或可恥, 只因為你不夠像女孩、 你太像女孩、 你不夠陽剛,或你太陽剛? 我們常會因為別人不符合 某種類型,就讓他感到羞愧, 但,現實是,我們 讓他們感到羞愧, 是因為這樣做能預防他們發現 我們其實也不符合 我們所屬的類型。 事實是,沒有任何人 能符合一種類型, 因為類型並不存在。 這種二元性,這種 錯誤的男-女假象, 是我們建立出來的, 我們建立了我們自己。 但它並不需要存在, 我們可以把它打破。 那就是我想要做的。 你們願意加入我嗎?
Thanks.
謝謝。
(Applause)
(掌聲)