I wanted to just start by asking everyone a question: How many of you are completely comfortable with calling yourselves a leader? I've asked that question all across the country, and everywhere I ask it, no matter where, there's a huge portion of the audience that won't put up their hand. And I've come to realize that we have made leadership into something bigger than us; something beyond us. We've made it about changing the world. We've taken this title of "leader" and treat it as something that one day we're going to deserve. But to give it to ourselves right now means a level of arrogance or cockiness that we're not comfortable with. And I worry sometimes that we spend so much time celebrating amazing things that hardly anybody can do, that we've convinced ourselves those are the only things worth celebrating. We start to devalue the things we can do every day, We take moments where we truly are a leader and we don't let ourselves take credit for it, or feel good about it. I've been lucky enough over the last 10 years to work with amazing people who've helped me redefine leadership in a way that I think has made me happier. With my short time today, I want to share with you the one story that is probably most responsible for that redefinition.
开始之前,我想问在场的各位一个问题 你们之中有多少人觉得 自己可以被称为领导的? 我在全国各地都问过这个问题 无论在哪里 都有很多人不愿举手。 我意识到,领导力被我们塑造成了 一种高于生活 普通人难以企及的东西。 我们认为有领导力的人应该改变世界。 我们认为我们只有在未来的某一天 才配得上领导这个头衔。 现在就自称领导 则是一种我们自己难以接受的傲慢和自满。 我担心,我们花了太多时间去赞美 那些不是人人都能做到的事情 我们认为 只有那些事情才值得赞美 我们贬低了那些我们可以做到的事情的价值 在生活中即便成为了领导 也不敢承认 不给自己因此自我感觉良好的机会。 我非常幸运 在过去的十年中有幸和一些了不起的人共事 他们帮助我重新认识了领导力 让我更加快乐。 今天我将利用这短短的几分钟,与你们分享 一个故事,就是这样的故事转变了我的观念。 我在新布伦瑞克省萨克维尔的
I went to a little school called Mount Allison University in Sackville, New Brunswick. And on my last day there, a girl came up to me and said, "I remember the first time I met you." And she told me a story that had happened four years earlier. She said, "On the day before I started university, I was in the hotel room with my mom and dad, and I was so scared and so convinced that I couldn't do this, that I wasn't ready for university, that I just burst into tears. My mom and dad were amazing. They were like, "We know you're scared, but let's just go tomorrow, go to the first day, and if at any point you feel as if you can't do this, that's fine; tell us, and we'll take you home. We love you no matter what.'"
一所名为蒙特爱立森大学的小学校上学, 我在学校的最后一天遇到一个女孩, 她说,“我记得我们第一次见面时候的事情。” 然后她向我讲述了一个四年前发生的事情。 她说,“大学报到的前一天, 我和父母一起呆在酒店房间里 我非常害怕,坚信自己 没有准备好上大学,难过地掉眼泪。 我的父母非常棒。他们说, ‘我们知道你很害怕,我们明天先去一天。’ 第一天我们先去看看情况,如果你觉得 还没有准备好,没关系,随时告诉我们 我们立刻带你回家。无论发生什么我们都爱你。‘“
She says, "So I went the next day. I was in line for registration, and I looked around and just knew I couldn't do it; I wasn't ready. I knew I had to quit. I made that decision and as soon as I made it, an incredible feeling of peace came over me. I turned to my mom and dad to tell them we needed to go home, and at that moment, you came out of the student union building wearing the stupidest hat I've ever seen in my life."
然后她说,“所以第二天我去了学校 排队等待注册的时候 我环顾四周,感觉自己没有办法在这里上学。 我知道我还没有准备好。我知道我必须退出。“ 她接着说,”我做出了决定,立刻感到了 超乎想象的平和。 我转身告诉我的父母 我们需要回家,就在那个时刻, 你从学生会的楼房中走出来 戴着我这辈子见过的最愚蠢的帽子。”(笑声)
(Laughter)
“那是个很棒的帽子。
"It was awesome. And you had a big sign promoting Shinerama," -- which is Students Fighting Cystic Fibrosis, a charity I've worked with for years -- "And you had a bucketful of lollipops. You were handing the lollipops out to people in line, and talking about Shinerama. All of the sudden, you got to me, and you just stopped. And you stared. It was creepy."
你还拿着一个宣传Shinerama(加拿大慈善组织)的大标牌, 上面写着学生与囊胞性纤维症斗争,“ ——这个慈善组织的活动我参与了很多年—— ”你拿着一桶棒棒糖。 你从我们身边走过,在向排队的人 分发棒棒糖,介绍Shinerama。 突然,你发现了我,停下来 盯着我看。有点吓人。”(笑声)
(Laughter)
那位姑娘完全了解我在说什么。(笑声)
This girl knows what I'm talking about.
(Laughter)
“你看了看我旁边的一个男生,微笑了一下
"Then you looked at the guy next to me, smiled, reached into your bucket, pulled out a lollipop, held it out to him and said, 'You need to give a lollipop to the beautiful woman next to you.'" She said, "I've never seen anyone get more embarrassed faster in my life. He turned beet red, he wouldn't even look at me. He just kind of held the lollipop out like this."
从桶里拿出了一个棒棒糖 递给他,对他说 ’你一定要把这个棒棒糖送给你旁边这位美丽的女孩。‘’ 她接着说:“我从来没有见过有人在如此短的时间之内变得如此尴尬。 他的脸红的像猪肝一样,不愿正眼看我。 他是这样把棒棒糖递给我的。“(笑声)
(Laughter)
”我特别同情这个男生,所以接过了棒棒糖,
"I felt so bad for this dude that I took the lollipop. As soon as I did, you got this incredibly severe look on your face, looked at my mom and dad and said, 'Look at that! Look at that! First day away from home, and already she's taking candy from a stranger?'"
结果棒棒糖刚到手,你就摆出一副特别 严肃的表情,你看了看我父母 然后说,‘看啊。看啊。 刚离开家一天,就接受 陌生人送的糖果?!’“(笑声)
(Laughter)
她接着说,”所有人都被逗乐了。方圆二十英尺之内
She said, "Everybody lost it. Twenty feet in every direction, everyone started to howl. I know this is cheesy, and I don't know why I'm telling you this, but in that moment when everyone was laughing, I knew I shouldn't quit. I knew I was where I was supposed to be; I knew I was home. And I haven't spoken to you once in the four years since that day. But I heard that you were leaving, and I had to come and tell you you've been an incredibly important person in my life. I'm going to miss you. Good luck."
所有人都开始爆笑。 我知道这很俗气,我不知道我为什么在和你说这些 但是在那个大家都在大笑的时刻, 我意识到我不应该离开, 我知道我属于这个地方 我知道这里是我的家,那天之后, 四年我没有和你说过一句话 但是我听说你要离开了, 我必须告诉你 在我生活中你拥有无与伦比的重要地位,我会想念你的。祝你好运。” 然后她就走开了,我受宠若惊。
And she walks away, and I'm flattened. She gets six feet away, turns around, smiles and goes, "You should probably know this, too: I'm still dating that guy, four years later."
走了六英尺,她转身微笑,说道: “也许应该跟你说一下, 四年过去了,我还在和当年那个男生约会。”(笑声)
(Laughter)
搬到多伦多一年半之后
A year and a half after I moved to Toronto, I got an invitation to their wedding.
我收到了他们婚礼的请柬。
(Laughter)
Here's the kicker: I don't remember that. I have no recollection of that moment. I've searched my memory banks, because that is funny and I should remember doing it and I don't. That was such an eye-opening, transformative moment for me, to think that maybe the biggest impact I'd ever had on anyone's life, a moment that had a woman walk up to a stranger four years later and say, "You've been an important person in my life," was a moment that I didn't even remember.
意外的是,我不记得这件事。 我对那个时刻完全没有印象。 我搜索了我的记忆仓库,这是件有趣的事情 我应该有印象的,但是我完全不记得。 这段经历让我大开眼界,改变了我的想法 我开始思考,也许我对他人生活所能带来的最大影响 来自不经意间的举动 就是这样一个我没有印象的时刻 让一个女孩时隔四年还特地找到我,告诉我: 我在她生命中拥有无与伦比的重要性。
How many of you guys have a lollipop moment, a moment where someone said or did something that you feel fundamentally made your life better? All right. How many of you have told that person they did it? See, why not? We celebrate birthdays, where all you have to do is not die for 365 days --
今天在座的所有人中有多少人经历过这种棒棒糖时刻, 感觉生活因为他人的言语或者行动 显著得到改善的时刻? 好的。你们中又有多少人把这种感受告诉了带来改变的人呢? 你看,为什么不呢?我们庆祝生日, 尽管你所做的不过是在三百六十五天内保持活着而已(笑声)
(Laughter)
Yet we let people who have made our lives better walk around without knowing it. Every single one of you has been the catalyst for a lollipop moment. You've made someone's life better by something you said or did. If you think you haven't, think of all the hands that didn't go up when I asked. You're just one of the people who hasn't been told.
然而我们却不与那些改变我们生活的人 分享他们起到的重要作用。 每一个人,我们中的每一个人 都是棒棒糖时刻的催化剂。 你的言语或行动让他人的生活更加美好 如果你觉得自己并没有带来什么改变, 想想我问那个问题时那些没有举起的手。 这不过是因为你帮助过的人没有告诉你罢了。
It's scary to think of ourselves as that powerful, frightening to think we can matter that much to other people. As long as we make leadership something bigger than us, as long as we keep leadership beyond us and make it about changing the world, we give ourselves an excuse not to expect it every day, from ourselves and from each other.
但是把自己想的如此强大是一件令人害怕的事情。 想到自己可以对他人产生如此巨大的影响 我们会感到有些害怕,因为只要我们认为领导力高于生活、 常人难以企及、 只要我们认为改变世界的人才能被称为领导 我们就是在找借口 不去期待自己或者他人拥有领导才能。
Marianne Williamson said, "Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate. [It] is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light and not our darkness that frightens us." My call to action today is that we need to get over our fear of how extraordinarily powerful we can be in each other's lives. We need to get over it so we can move beyond it, and our little brothers and sisters and one day our kids -- or our kids right now -- can watch and start to value the impact we can have on each other's lives, more than money and power and titles and influence. We need to redefine leadership as being about lollipop moments -- how many of them we create, how many we acknowledge, how many of them we pay forward and how many we say thank you for. Because we've made leadership about changing the world, and there is no world. There's only six billion understandings of it.
玛丽安娜·威廉姆森说过,“我们最害怕的不是能力不够。” 最令我们的恐惧的是我们所拥有的巨大力量。 我们对自己的光明面,而非黑暗面,感到恐惧。“ 今天我号召大家克服这一点。 我们需要接受自己可能在他人的生活中扮演无比重要的角色的事实 克服由此产生的恐惧。 克服恐惧之后我们就可以迈出前进的步伐, 我们的弟弟妹妹,未来我们的孩子—— 或者说现在我们的孩子——可以通过观察,学会 重视我们对彼此生活的影响 认识到这种影响超越金钱、权利、头衔和权势。 我们需要用棒棒糖时刻重新定义领导力, 我们创造了多少棒棒糖时刻,发现了多少这样的瞬间, 有没有积极传播这样的影响,有没有感谢那些影响我们的人。 我们认为领导人理应改变世界 然而事实上,世界是由六十亿人对它的理解组成的, 如果你改变了一个人对世界的看法,
And if you change one person's understanding of it, understanding of what they're capable of, understanding of how much people care about them, understanding of how powerful an agent for change they can be in this world, you've changed the whole thing.
一个人对自身能力的认识, 让一个人感受到他人对他的关怀, 让一个人意识到自己可以为他人的生活带来巨大的改变 你就改变了世界。 如果我们这样理解领导力,
And if we can understand leadership like that, I think if we can redefine leadership like that, I think we can change everything. And it's a simple idea, but I don't think it's a small one. I want to thank you so much for letting me share it with you today.
如果我们这样重新定义领导力, 我们就可以改变一切。 这是一个简单的理念,但绝非无足轻重 谢谢你们今天给我这个机会与你们分享这个故事。