My journey to coming here today started in 1974. That's me with the funny gloves. I was 17 and going on a peace walk. What I didn't know though, was most of those people, standing there with me, were Moonies. (Laughter) And within a week I had come to believe that the second coming of Christ had occurred, that it was Sun Myung Moon, and that I had been specially chosen and prepared by God to be his disciple.
我今天所要談的經驗 是從1974年開始的 那個戴著奇怪手套的人就是我 我那時才17歲,便參加和平示威遊行 當時我並不知道,我身旁的這些人 大部份都是統一教狂熱信徒 (觀眾笑聲)[請注意:本影片有血腥畫面] 不到一個禮拜 他們就說服我 耶穌已經重返人世 而文鮮明就是祂的化身 我是上帝的選民 註定要追隨文鮮明
Now as cool as that sounds, my family was not that thrilled with this. (Laughter) And they tried everything they could to get me out of there. There was an underground railroad of sorts that was going on during those years. Maybe some of you remember it. They were called deprogrammers. And after about five long years my family had me deprogrammed. And I then became a deprogrammer. I started going out on cases. And after about five years of doing this, I was arrested for kidnapping. Most of the cases I went out on were called involuntary. What happened was that the family had to get their loved ones some safe place somehow. And so they took them to some safe place. And we would come in and talk to them, usually for about a week. And so after this happened, I decided it was a good time to turn my back on this work.
雖然聽起來很酷 我的家人知道後卻不太爽 (觀眾笑聲) 他們想盡辦法要我脫離那個教派 在那個年代有一個秘密組織 也許你們有些人還記得 那個組織裡的人被稱為"反洗腦者" 過了漫長的五年 我的家人終於把我"反洗腦"了 而我自己也成為"反洗腦者" 我開始幫助被洗腦的受害人 在做了將近五年的反洗腦工作後 我因綁架罪名被逮捕 我輔導的大部份當事人 並非自願接受反洗腦的 這些當事人的家人 得先為當事人找到安全的藏身地 把他們安置在那裡 然後我們再去輔導,通常持續一個禮拜左右 經過被警方逮捕的事件後 我決定不再從事這種工作
And about 20 years went by. There was a burning question though that would not leave me. And that was, "How did this happen to me?" And in fact, what did happen to my brain? Because something did. And so I decided to write a book, a memoir, about this decade of my life.
又過了大約20年 我腦中有個問題始終揮之不去 那就是:我到底怎麼了? 或是說:我的腦袋到底怎麼了? 因為我的腦中的確產生了變化 於是我決定要寫一本回憶錄 記錄我人生中被洗腦和反洗腦的那十年
And toward the end of writing that book there was a documentary that came out. It was on Jonestown. And it had a chilling effect on me. These are the dead in Jonestown. About 900 people died that day, most of them taking their own lives. Women gave poison to their babies, and watched foam come from their mouths as they died.
就在我快把書寫完的時候 有一部紀錄片上映了 是關於集體自殺的瓊斯鎮 我看了以後不禁毛骨悚然 這些就是死於那次事件的人 當天大約有900個人喪生 其中大部份都是自殺 婦女餵自己的小孩吃毒藥 眼睜睜看著他們口吐白沫而死
The top picture is a group of Moonies that have been blessed by their messiah. Their mates were chosen for them. The bottom picture is Hitler youth. This is the leg of a suicide bomber. The thing I had to admit to myself, with great repulsion, was that I get it. I understand how this could happen. I understand how someone's brain, how someone's mind can come to the place where it makes sense -- in fact it would be wrong, when your brain is working like that -- not to try to save the world through genocide.
上面的照片是文鮮明(統一教)的信徒 他們受到了救世主文鮮明的祝福 配偶也都由文鮮明挑選好了 下面的照片是信奉希特勒的青年軍 這是一個自殺炸彈客的斷腿 我很不願意承認 但又不得不承認的是 我了解這些人 我了解他們為什麼會這樣 我懂一個人的腦子 為什麼會有那些想法 而且竟然認為那些想法是對的 事實上,當你陷入那種思考模式以後 你會認為大屠殺是為了拯救世人
And so what is this? How does this work? And how I've come to view what happened to me is a viral, memetic infection. For those of you who aren't familiar with memetics, a meme has been defined as an idea that replicates in the human brain and moves from brain to brain like a virus, much like a virus. The way a virus works is -- it can infect and do the most damage to someone who has a compromised immune system.
這到底是什麼樣的心態?它是如何形成的? 我又是如何看清一切 明白那其實是一種腦部中毒的現象 在座有些人可能不太清楚這概念 腦部中毒指的就是 一個想法在人腦中不斷分裂複製 像病毒一樣散播到別人的腦中 而就像病毒的運作方式一樣 會傳染給他人並造成莫大傷害 抵抗力差的人更深受其害
In 1974, I was young, I was naive, and I was pretty lost in my world. I was really idealistic. These easy ideas to complex questions are very appealing when you are emotionally vulnerable. What happens is that circular logic takes over. "Moon is one with God. God is going to fix all the problems in the world. All I have to do is humbly follow. Because God is going to stop war and hunger -- all these things I wanted to do -- all I have to do is humbly follow. Because after all, God is [working through] the messiah. He's going to fix all this." It becomes impenetrable. And the most dangerous part of this is that is creates "us" and "them," "right" and "wrong," "good" and "evil." And it makes anything possible, makes anything rationalizable.
1974年的我年輕又天真 迷失在自己的世界裡 抱著過於理想主義的態度 統一教的思想直觀,好似能解決人生大哉問,讓人非常嚮往 尤其那時的心靈又容易受人影響 在這種狀況下 思考邏輯如迴圈般走不出來 才會相信"文鮮明是上帝的化身" "上帝會解決世間所有問題" 而我只要心悅誠服的追隨他就好 因為上帝會阻止戰爭和飢餓 那也是我的理想 我只要心悅誠服的追隨他就好 他是上帝派的救世主,有他一切便天下太平 這種想法漸漸根深柢固 而這種想法最可怕的地方在於 它造成了"我們"和"他們"的對立 "對"與"錯"的對立 "正"與"邪"的對立 這讓人什麼事都做得出來 一切的行為都被合理化
And the thing is, though, if you looked at my brain during those years in the Moonies -- neuroscience is expanding exponentially, as Ray Kurzweil said yesterday. Science is expanding. We're beginning to look inside the brain. And so if you looked at my brain, or any brain that's infected with a viral memetic infection like this, and compared it to anyone in this room, or anyone who uses critical thinking on a regular basis, I am convinced it would look very, very different.
但是 如果當時有辦法一窺我的腦部 在我信奉統一教的那幾年裡 不像現在有快速發展的神經科學 就像雷科茲維昨天說的.科學不斷進步 現在我們開始窺探人腦如何運作 所以如果當時有辦法一窺我的腦部 或是任何像這樣思想中毒的腦子 和在座任何人的腦子兩相比較 或是和習慣批判性思考的人腦做比較 我相信兩種腦子看起來一定非常不同
And that, strange as it may sound, gives me hope. And the reason that gives me hope is that the first thing is to admit that we have a problem. But it's a human problem. It's a scientific problem, if you will. It happens in the human brain. There is no evil force out there to get us. And so this is something that, through research and education, I believe that we can solve. And so the first step is to realize that we can do this together, and that there is no "us" and "them." Thank you very much. (Applause)
各位或許會覺得我這麼說很奇怪 但這件事給了我希望 我有了希望是因為 我們做到了解決問題的第一步 那就是:承認這個問題的確存在 但這是個人腦的問題,或者說是科學的問題 存在於我們腦中,並非是外來的邪惡力量要害我們 所以透過研究和教育 我相信這個問題是可以解決的 而解決此問題的第一步 就是明白我們可以一起努力 不分彼此,終止對立 謝謝大家(觀眾掌聲)