My journey to coming here today started in 1974. That's me with the funny gloves. I was 17 and going on a peace walk. What I didn't know though, was most of those people, standing there with me, were Moonies. (Laughter) And within a week I had come to believe that the second coming of Christ had occurred, that it was Sun Myung Moon, and that I had been specially chosen and prepared by God to be his disciple.
我今天所要谈的 是我从1974年开始即有的经验 那个戴着奇怪手套的人就是我 那时我才17岁,我去参加和平示威游行 当时我并不知道,我身旁的这些人 大部份都是统一教的信徒 (笑) 不到一个礼拜 他们就说服我 耶稣已重返人间 而文鲜明就是神祗的化身 我是上帝的选民 我注定要追随文鲜明
Now as cool as that sounds, my family was not that thrilled with this. (Laughter) And they tried everything they could to get me out of there. There was an underground railroad of sorts that was going on during those years. Maybe some of you remember it. They were called deprogrammers. And after about five long years my family had me deprogrammed. And I then became a deprogrammer. I started going out on cases. And after about five years of doing this, I was arrested for kidnapping. Most of the cases I went out on were called involuntary. What happened was that the family had to get their loved ones some safe place somehow. And so they took them to some safe place. And we would come in and talk to them, usually for about a week. And so after this happened, I decided it was a good time to turn my back on this work.
虽然听起来很酷 我的家人知道后却对此不大感冒 (笑) 他们想尽办法地使我脱离那个教派 在那个年代有一个秘密组织 也许你们有些人还记得 那个组织里的人被称为"反洗脑者" 经过了漫长的五年 我的家人终于成功地为我"反洗脑"了 而我自己也成为"反洗脑者" 我开始帮助被洗脑的当事人 在做了将近五年的反洗脑工作后 我因绑架罪名被逮捕 我辅导的大部份当事人 并非自愿接受反洗脑的 这些当事人的家人 得先为当事人找到安全的藏身地 把他们安置在那里 然后我们再去辅导,通常需持续一个礼拜左右 经过被警方逮捕的事件后 我决定不再从事这种工作
And about 20 years went by. There was a burning question though that would not leave me. And that was, "How did this happen to me?" And in fact, what did happen to my brain? Because something did. And so I decided to write a book, a memoir, about this decade of my life.
又过了大约 20年 我脑中有个问题始终挥之不去 那就是:“我到底怎么了?” 或是说:“我的脑袋到底怎么了?” 因为我的脑中的确产生了变化 于是我决定要写一本回忆录 记录我人生中被洗脑和反洗脑的那十年
And toward the end of writing that book there was a documentary that came out. It was on Jonestown. And it had a chilling effect on me. These are the dead in Jonestown. About 900 people died that day, most of them taking their own lives. Women gave poison to their babies, and watched foam come from their mouths as they died.
当我快把书写完的时候 有一部纪录片上映了 是关于琼斯镇时间(70年代美国人民圣殿教集体自杀的发生地) 我看了以后不禁毛骨悚然 这些就是死于那次事件的人 当天大约有900个人丧生 其中大部份都是自杀 妇女将毒药喂给自己的小孩 她们眼睁睁地看着儿童们口吐白沫而死
The top picture is a group of Moonies that have been blessed by their messiah. Their mates were chosen for them. The bottom picture is Hitler youth. This is the leg of a suicide bomber. The thing I had to admit to myself, with great repulsion, was that I get it. I understand how this could happen. I understand how someone's brain, how someone's mind can come to the place where it makes sense -- in fact it would be wrong, when your brain is working like that -- not to try to save the world through genocide.
上面的照片是文鲜明(统一教)的信徒 他们受到了救世主文鲜明的祝福 配偶也都由文鲜明挑选好了 下面的照片是信奉希特勒的青年军 这是一个人肉炸弹客的断腿 我很不愿意承认 但又不得不承认的是 我了解这些人 我了解他们为什么会这样 我懂他们的脑子 我懂他们为什么会有那些想法 而且我懂他们为什么会认为那些想法是对的 事实上,当你陷入那种思考模式以后 你会认为大屠杀是为了拯救世人
And so what is this? How does this work? And how I've come to view what happened to me is a viral, memetic infection. For those of you who aren't familiar with memetics, a meme has been defined as an idea that replicates in the human brain and moves from brain to brain like a virus, much like a virus. The way a virus works is -- it can infect and do the most damage to someone who has a compromised immune system.
这到底是什么样的心态?它是如何形成的? 我又是如何看清一切 我明白那其实是一种脑部中毒的现象 在座有些人可能不太清楚这概念 脑部中毒指的就是 一种想法在人脑中不断分裂复制 它会像病毒一样散播到别人的脑中 而就像病毒的运作方式一样 会传染给他人并造成莫大伤害 抵抗力差的人更深受其害
In 1974, I was young, I was naive, and I was pretty lost in my world. I was really idealistic. These easy ideas to complex questions are very appealing when you are emotionally vulnerable. What happens is that circular logic takes over. "Moon is one with God. God is going to fix all the problems in the world. All I have to do is humbly follow. Because God is going to stop war and hunger -- all these things I wanted to do -- all I have to do is humbly follow. Because after all, God is [working through] the messiah. He's going to fix all this." It becomes impenetrable. And the most dangerous part of this is that is creates "us" and "them," "right" and "wrong," "good" and "evil." And it makes anything possible, makes anything rationalizable.
1974年的我年轻又天真 我迷失在自己的世界里 且抱着过于理想主义的态度 统一教的思想直观,好似能解决人生之问,让人非常向往 尤其那时的心灵又容易受人影响 在这种状况下 思考逻辑如鬼打墙般走不出来 我才会相信“文鲜明是上帝的化身” “上帝会解决世间所有问题” 而我只要心悦诚服地追随他就好 因为上帝会阻止战争和饥饿 那也是我的理想 我只要心悦诚服的追随他就好 他是上帝派来的救世主,有他便天下太平 这种想法渐渐根深柢固 而这种想法最可怕之处在于 它造成了"我们"和"他们"的对立 "对"与"错"的对立 "正"与"邪"的对立 这让人什么事都做得出来 一切的行为都被合理化
And the thing is, though, if you looked at my brain during those years in the Moonies -- neuroscience is expanding exponentially, as Ray Kurzweil said yesterday. Science is expanding. We're beginning to look inside the brain. And so if you looked at my brain, or any brain that's infected with a viral memetic infection like this, and compared it to anyone in this room, or anyone who uses critical thinking on a regular basis, I am convinced it would look very, very different.
但是 如果当时有办法一窥我的脑部 在我信奉统一教的那几年里 不像现在有快速发展的神经科学 正如雷·库兹韦尔昨天所说-科学正不断进步 现在我们开始窥探人脑是如何运作的 所以如果当时有办法一窥我的脑部 或是将任何如这样思想中毒的脑子 和在座任何人的脑子两相比较 或是和习惯批判性思考的人脑做比较的话 我相信两种脑子看起来一定非常不同
And that, strange as it may sound, gives me hope. And the reason that gives me hope is that the first thing is to admit that we have a problem. But it's a human problem. It's a scientific problem, if you will. It happens in the human brain. There is no evil force out there to get us. And so this is something that, through research and education, I believe that we can solve. And so the first step is to realize that we can do this together, and that there is no "us" and "them." Thank you very much. (Applause)
在座各位或许会觉得我这么说很奇怪 但这件事给了我希望 我有了希望是因为 我们做到了解决问题的第一步 那就是:承认这个问题的确存在 但这是个人的问题,或者说是科学的问题 它存在于我们的脑中,并非是外来的邪恶力量要害我们 所以透过研究和教育 我相信这个问题是可以解决的 而解决此问题的第一步 就是明白我们需要一起努力 不分彼此,永不对立 谢谢大家 (掌声)