So, my journey began in the Bronx, New York, in a one-bedroom apartment, with my two sisters and immigrant mother. I loved our neighborhood. It was lively. There was all this merengue blasting, neighbors socializing on building stoops and animated conversations over domino playing. It was home, and it was sweet. But it wasn't simple. In fact, everyone at school knew the block where we lived, because it was where people came to buy weed and other drugs. And with drug-dealing comes conflict, so we often went to sleep to the sound of gunshots.
我的旅程从纽约市的布朗克斯区开始, 在一个一居室公寓里, 和我的两个妹妹 还有移民而来的母亲住在一起。 我爱我们的社区。 它充满生气。 总会有人跳梅伦格舞,热闹极了, 街坊邻里在门外的台阶上聊天, 一边玩儿多米诺骨牌一边兴致勃勃地讨论。 那是家, 很亲切。 但事情也并不简单。 事实上,学校里每个人 都知道我们住的那个街区, 因为人们在那儿 购买大麻和其他毒品。 伴随毒品交易的还有打架斗殴, 所以我们常常在枪声中入眠。
I spent much of my childhood worried, worried about our safety. And so did our mother. She worried that the violence we witnessed would overtake our lives; that our poverty meant that the neighbors with whom we lived and shared space would harm us. Our entire life was in the Bronx, but my mother's anxiety spurred her into action, and soon we were driving so fast to Connecticut --
我大部分的童年 是在担惊受怕中度过的, 担心我们的安全。 我们的妈妈也是这样。 她担心我们目睹的暴力 会影响我们的生活; 担心贫穷 会让和我们住在同一区的邻居 伤害我们。 我们之前全部的生活都在布朗克斯区, 但是我妈妈的焦虑促使她采取了行动, 不久我们就开车 飞奔到了康涅狄格州——
(Laughter)
(笑声)
to boarding school campuses, with full scholarships in tow. Man, don't underestimate the power of a mother determined to keep her children safe.
去了寄宿学校, 还拿到了全额奖学金。 嘿,当一个母亲下定决心保护孩子安全的时候, 永远不要低估她的力量。
(Cheers) (Applause)
(欢呼) (掌声)
At boarding school, for the first time, I was able to sleep without worry. I could leave my dorm room unlocked, walk barefoot in the grass, and look up to see a night sky full of stars. Happy novelties.
在寄宿学校, 第一次, 我可以安心入睡。 我可以不锁宿舍的门, 赤脚走在草地上, 仰望繁星璀璨的夜空。 这些都是令人欢欣的新鲜事。
But there were other novelties as well. Very quickly, I felt like I didn't belong. I learned that I didn't speak the right way, and to demonstrate the proper ways of speaking, my teachers gave me frequent lessons, in public, on the appropriate way to enunciate certain words.
但是还有其他的“新鲜事”。 很快,我觉得自己格格不入。 我意识到我说话的方式不对, 为了给我示范正确的说话方式, 我的老师经常在公共场合给我“指导”, 教我如何正确吐字。
A teacher once instructed me in the hallway: "Aaaaaas-king." She said this loudly. "Dena, it's not 'axing,' like you're running around with an axe. That's silly."
有一次一个老师在走廊里指点我说: “Aaaaaas-king。” 她大声地说。 “德娜,不是‘axing’, 那样说就好像你拿了把斧子到处跑一样。 你那么说很傻。”
Now at this point, you can imagine the snickers of my classmates, but she continued: "Think about breaking the word into 'ass' and 'king,' and then put the two together to say it correctly -- 'Asking.'"
此时此刻,你们可以想象 我的同学们在暗中窃笑, 但是她还接着说: “想想把这个单词分成‘ass’和‘king’, (译注:ass有屁股、笨蛋之意) 然后再把两个合到一起 准确地念出来—— ‘Asking’ 。”
There were some other moments that reminded me that I didn't belong. Once, I walked into a classmate's dorm room, and I watched her watch her valuables around me. Like, why would she do that? I thought to myself. And then there was the time when another classmate walked into my dorm room, and yelled, "Ew!" as I was applying hair grease to my scalp.
还有一些其他的时候 我觉得我不属于那里。 有一次,我走到一个同学的宿舍, 发现她盯着我周围属于她的东西 她为什么那样做? 我这样问自己。 还有一次 另一个同学来我的宿舍, 喊道,“诶哟喂!” 当时我正在往头皮上抹发乳。
There is emotional damage done when young people can't be themselves, when they are forced to edit who they are in order to be acceptable. It's a kind of violence.
当年轻人们不能做自己 却为了被别人接纳而被迫改变自己的时候, 是会有情绪伤害的。 那是一种暴力。
Ultimately, I'm a quintessential success story. I attended boarding school and college in New England, studied abroad in Chile and returned to the Bronx to be a middle school teacher. I received a Truman Scholarship, a Fulbright and a Soros Fellowship. And I could list more.
最终,我成了一个成功故事的典范。 我读上了新英格兰的寄宿高中和大学, 去智利留过学, 回到布朗克斯区, 成为了一名中学老师。 我得过杜鲁门奖学金, 福布莱特奖学金和索罗斯奖学金。 我还可以列出来更多。
(Laughter)
(笑声)
But I won't.
但我不会。
(Laughter)
(笑声)
I earned my doctorate at Columbia University.
我在哥伦比亚大学获得了博士学位。
(Cheers)
(欢呼)
(Applause)
(掌声)
And then I landed a job at Yale.
接着我在耶鲁找到了一份工作。
(Applause)
(掌声)
I am proud of everything that I've been able to accomplish on my journey thus far.
我为我迄今为止 在旅程中所取得的这些成就 而感到骄傲。
I have eternal imposter syndrome. Either I've been invited because I'm a token, which really isn't about me, but rather, about a box someone needed to check off. Or, I am exceptional, which means I've had to leave the people I love behind. It's the price that I and so many others pay for learning while black.
但我患有长期的“冒名顶替症候群”。 我觉得我被邀请,或是因为我是个代表性人物, 但这和我个人没有什么关系, 而是需要有我这样的(有色)人种到场。 又或者,我是个特例, 就是说,我不得不把我爱的人们甩在后面。 这就是身为黑人的我和其他黑人 为学习而付出的代价。
(Applause)
(掌声)
I police myself all the time. Are my pants too tight? Should I wear my hair up or in a fro? Should I speak up for myself, or will the power of my words be reduced to: "She's angry"?
我一直自我监督。 我的裤子是不是太紧了? 我是应该把头发扎起来 还是扎短的小卷发。 我应该为自己发声吗, 不过我的语气会不会被人认为 “她生气了?”
Why did I have to leave the Bronx to gain access to a better education? And why, in the process of getting that better education, did I have to endure the trauma of erasing what made me, me -- a black girl from the Bronx, raised by an Antiguan mother? So when I think about our current education reform initiatives, I can't help asking: What are our students of color learning about themselves?
为什么我必须离开布朗克斯区 去接受更好的教育? 在接受更好的教育的过程中, 为什么我一定要忍受痛苦? 一个被安提瓜母亲养育的 来自布朗克斯区的黑人女孩,这就是我啊。 所以当我想到 我们当今的教育改革, 我不禁要问: 我们的有色人种学生学到了 关于他们自己的什么?
Three -- three decades of research reveal that students of color are suspended and expelled at a rate three times greater than white students, and are punished in harsher ways for the same infractions. They also learn this through the absence of their lives and narratives in the curricula. The Cooperative Children's Book Center did a review of nearly 4,000 books and found that only three percent were about African-Americans. And they further learn this through the lack of teachers that look like them. An analysis of data from the National Center for Education Statistics found that 45 percent of our nation's pre-K to high school students were people of color, while only 17 percent of our teachers are.
三十年的调查研究显示 有色人种的学生被停课 和开除的概率 比白人学生高出三倍多, 并且在违反相同规定时 有色人种的学生会受到更严厉的惩罚。 课本中缺少关于他们的生活叙述, 也让他们意识到了这一点。 儿童读物合作中心对近四千本书进行了评估, 发现只有百分之三 是关于非裔美国人的。 他们发现和自己一样的老师也很少 这也印证了他们的想法。 来自国家教育统计中心的 一项数据分析显示 在我们国家从学前班到高中 有色人种的学生 占百分之四十五, 而有色人种老师 仅占百分之十七。
Our youth of color pay a profound price when their schooling sends them the message that they must be controlled, that they must leave their identities at home in order to be successful. Every child deserves an education that guarantees the safety to learn in the comfort of one's own skin.
有色人种的青年 付出的代价很高 当他们接受的教育 传达给他们这样的信息: 他们必须被约束, 而且他们只能在家里做自己, 只有这样才能成功。 每个孩子都理应接受教育 接受那种保证他们学习的安全 并且不为他们自己的肤色觉得羞耻的教育。
(Applause)
(掌声)
It is possible to create emotionally and physically safe classrooms where students also thrive academically. I know, because I did it in my classroom when I returned to teach in the Bronx.
创造出情感和身体上安全的 课堂是有可能的, 学生们在这样的课堂里 茁壮成长,学有所成。 我知道,因为在我回到 布朗克斯区教书时, 我在我的课堂就是这么做的。
So what did that look like? I centered my instruction on the lives, histories and identities of my students. And I did all of this because I wanted my students to know that everyone around them was supporting them to be their best self. So while I could not control the instability of their homes, the uncertainty of their next meal, or the loud neighbors that kept them from sleep, I provided them with a loving classroom that made them feel proud of who they are, that made them know that they mattered.
所以那是怎么样的情景? 我的教育围绕着 我的学生们的生命、历史和身份展开。 我这样做,是因为 我想让我的学生们知道 他们周围的每个人都支持他们 支持他们去做最好的自己。 因此虽然我无法确保他们的家庭是否稳定, 他们的下一餐能否确定, 也无法控制让他们无法入睡的吵闹的邻居。 但是我可以给他们一个 充满爱的课堂, 使他们为自己的身份感到自豪, 这让他们知道自己是重要的。
You know, every time I hear or say the word "asking," I am in high school again. I am thinking about "ass" and "king" and putting the two together so that I speak in a way where someone in power will want to listen.
你知道吗, 每次我听到或说出 “asking”这个单词时, 我就感觉我又回到高中了。 我就想到“ass”和“king”, 把这两个单词组合到一起, 通过这种说话方式, 有权力的人才会想听我讲话。
There is a better way, one that doesn't force kids of color into a double bind; a way for them to preserve their ties to their families, homes and communities; a way that teaches them to trust their instincts and to have faith in their own creative genius.
但有更好的方式, 这种方式不会让 有色人种的孩子进退两难; 这种方式能使他们 和自己的家人、家庭 以及群体保持联系; 这种方式才能让他们相信自己的直觉 并对他们自己的天才创造力充满信心。
Thank you.
谢谢大家。
(Applause)
(掌声)