We like to think of romantic feelings as spontaneous and indescribable things that come from the heart. But it's actually your brain running a complex series of calculations within a matter of seconds that's responsible for determining attraction. Doesn't sound quite as poetic, does it? But just because the calculations are happening in your brain doesn't mean those warm, fuzzy feelings are all in your head. In fact, all five of your senses play a role, each able to vote for, or veto, a budding attraction. The eyes are the first components in attraction. Many visual beauty standards vary between cultures and eras, and signs of youth, fertility and good health, such as long lustrous hair, or smooth, scar-free skin, are almost always in demand because they're associated with reproductive fitness. And when the eyes spot something they like, our instinct is to move closer so the other senses can investigate. The nose's contribution to romance is more than noticing perfume or cologne. It's able to pick up on natural chemical signals known as pheromones. These not only convey important physical or genetic information about their source but are able to activate a physiological or behavioral response in the recipient. In one study, a group of women at different points in their ovulation cycles wore the same T-shirts for three nights. After male volunteers were randomly assigned to smell either one of the worn shirts, or a new unworn one, saliva samples showed an increase in testosterone in those who had smelled a shirt worn by an ovulating woman. Such a testosterone boost may give a man the nudge to pursue a woman he might not have otherwise noticed. A woman's nose is particularly attuned to MHC molecules, which are used to fight disease. In this case, opposites attract. When a study asked women to smell T-shirts that had been worn by different men, they preferred the odors of those whose MHC molecules differed from theirs. This makes sense. Genes that result in a greater variety of immunities may give offspring a major survival advantage. Our ears also determine attraction. Men prefer females with high-pitched, breathy voices, and wide formant spacing, correlated with smaller body size. While women prefer low-pitched voices with a narrow formant spacing that suggest a larger body size. And not surprisingly, touch turns out to be crucial for romance. In this experiment, not realizing the study had begun, participants were asked to briefly hold the coffee, either hot or iced. Later, the participants read a story about a hypothetical person, and were asked to rate their personality. Those who had held the hot cup of coffee perceived the person in the story as happier, more social, more generous and better-natured than those who had held the cup of iced coffee, who rated the person as cold, stoic, and unaffectionate. If a potential mate has managed to pass all these tests, there's still one more: the infamous first kiss, a rich and complex exchange of tactile and chemical cues, such as the smell of one's breath, and the taste of their mouth. This magical moment is so critical that a majority of men and women have reported losing their attraction to someone after a bad first kiss. Once attraction is confirmed, your bloodstream is flooded with norepinephrine, activating your fight or flight system. Your heart beats faster, your pupils dilate, and your body releases glucose for additional energy, not because you're in danger but because your body is telling you that something important is happening. To help you focus, norepinephrine creates a sort of tunnel vision, blocking out surrounding distractions, possibly even warping your sense of time, and enhancing your memory. This might explain why people never forget their first kiss. The idea of so much of our attraction being influenced by chemicals and evolutionary biology may seem cold and scientific rather than romantic, but the next time you see someone you like, try to appreciate how your entire body is playing matchmaker to decide if that beautiful stranger is right for you.
Ne kemi deshire te mendojme per ndenjat romantike si spontane dhe gjera te papershkrueshme qe burojne nga zemra. Por eshte ne te vertete truri yt qe realizon nje seri komplekse llogaritjesh brenda pak sekondave qe jane pergjegjese per percaktimin e terheqjes. Nuk tingellon dhe aq poetike, apo jo? Por fakti se lllogaritjet po ndodhin ne trurin tend nuk do te thote se ndjenjat e ngohta, te mjegullta jane te gjitha ne koken tuaj. Ne fakt, te pesta shqisat tuaja luajne nje rol, te gjitha kane nje vote ose nje veto, nje lidhje qe nis te lulezoje. Syte jane elementi i pare ne nje terheqje. Shume standarte bukurie mund te variojne ndermjet kulturave dhe epokave, dhe shenjat e rinise, pjellorise dhe te shendetit te mire, sic jane floket e gjate e te shkelqyeshem, dhe aroma, lekura e paster, jane pothuaj gjithmone ne kerkese sepse ato jane te shoqeruara me nje pershtatje riprodhuese. Dhe kur syte vene re dicka qe e pelqejne, instikti yne eshte te levizim me afer ne menyre qe shqisat e tjera te hetojne. Hunda kontribuon ne romance me shume sesa thjesht nuhatja e parfumit apo kolonjes. Ajo eshte e afte te mbledhe sinjale kimike te njohura si feromone. Keto jo vetem qe sigurojne informacione fizike dhe gjenetike te rendesishme ne lidhje me burimin e tyre por jane ne gjendje te aktivizojne nje pergjigje psikologjike ose nje sjellje ne marresin e tyre. Ne nje studim, nje grup femrash ne stade te ndryshme te ciklit te tyre te ovulimit veshen te njejten bluze per tre nete. Pasi meshkuj vullnetare u caktuan ne menyre rastesore per te nuhatur njeren nga bluzat e veshura, ose nje te paveshur, shembuj te peshtymes treguan nje rritje ne testosteron ne ata qe kishin nuhatur bluzat e veshura nga femrat ne ovulim. Nje rritje e tille ne testosteron mund ti jape nje mashkulli shtysen per te ndjekur nje grua te cilen nuk mund ta kishte vene re ndryshe. Hunda e nje femre eshte e pershtatur ne menyre te vecante ndaj molekulave MHC te cilat perdoren per te luftuar semundjet. Ne kete menyre, te kundertat terhiqen. Kur nje studim i kerkoi femrave te nuhasin bluzat te cilat ishin veshur nga meshkuj te ndryshem, ato preferuan eren e atyre meshkujve molekulat MHC e te cileve ndryshonte nga e tyrja. Kjo ka kuptim. Gjenet te cilat rezultojne ne nje shumellojshmeri me te madhe ne imunitet mund ti japin pasardhesve nje avantazh mbijetese me te madhe. Veshet tone gjithashtu percaktojne terheqjen. Meshkujt preferojne femra me zera te larte dhe gjallerues, dhe me nje akustike te gjere, e lidhur kjo me mase te vogel trupore. Nderkohe qe femrat preferojne zera te ulet, me nje spekter te ngushte qe sugjeron permasa te medha ne trup. Dhe nuk eshte cudi, prekja rezulton te jete thelbesore ne romance. Ne kete eksperiment, duke mos e kuptuar qe studimi kishte filluar, pjesemarresve iu kerkuan te mbajne kafene per pak kohe, te ftohte ose te ngrohte. Me vone, pjesemarresve iu kerkua te lexojne nje tregim per nje person hipotetik, dhe iu kerkua te vleresojne personalitetin e tyre. Ata qe kishin mbajtur nje filxhan te ngrohte kafeje e vleresuan personin ne tregim si me te lumtur, me te shoqerueshem, me bujar dhe me te dashur sesa ata qe kishin mbajtur nje filxhan te ftohte kafeje, te cilet e vleresuan personin si te ftohte, stoik dhe jo te dhembshur. Nese nje partner i mundshem i ka kaluar te gjitha keto teste, eshte akoma dhe nje: puthja e pare famekeqe, nje shkembim i pasur dhe kompleks i sinjaleve te prekjes dhe kimike, sic eshte aroma e gojes, shija e gojes. Momenti magjik eshte kaq kritik saqe nje pjese e madhe meshkujsh dhe femrash kane treguar se e kane humbur terheqjen ndaj dikujt pas nje puthje te pare te keqe. Por nese terheqja konfirmohet, vershon gjaku me norepinefrine, qe aktivizon sistemin tend te fluturoj ose te luftoj. Zemra jote rreh me shpejt, bebet e syrit zmadhohen, dhe trupi jot liron glukoze per energji shtese, jo sepse jeni ne rrezik por sepse trupi yt po te thote se dicka e rendesishme po ndodh. Per te ndihmuar ne fokusim, norepinefrina krijon nje lloj shikimi si tunel qe bllokon te gjithe shperqendrimet qe te rrethojne, qe ndoshta dhe shtremberojne kuptimin tend per kohen, dhe permiresojne kujtesen tende. Kjo mund te shpjegoje se pse njerezit nuk e harrojne puthjen e tyre te pare. Ideja se kaq shume nga terheqja jone influencohet nga biologjia kimike dhe evoluese mund te duket e ftohte dhe shkencore sesa romantike, por heren tjeter qe shikoni dike qe ju pelqen, perpiqu te vleresosh sesi i gjithe truri yt po luan nje mbleseri per te percaktuar nese ai i huaj i bukur eshte i duhuri per ty.