So I've been thinking about the difference between the résumé virtues and the eulogy virtues. The résumé virtues are the ones you put on your résumé, which are the skills you bring to the marketplace. The eulogy virtues are the ones that get mentioned in the eulogy, which are deeper: who are you, in your depth, what is the nature of your relationships, are you bold, loving, dependable, consistency? And most of us, including me, would say that the eulogy virtues are the more important of the virtues. But at least in my case, are they the ones that I think about the most? And the answer is no.
Razmišljao sam o razlici između vrlina u radnoj biografiji i na opelu. Vrline u radnoj biografiji su one koje navodiš u radnoj biografiji, to su veštine koje su bitne na tržištu. Hvalospevi su one vrline koje se pominju na opelu i one su dublje: ko ste, u suštini, kakvi su vaši odnosi sa ljudima, da li ste hrabri, nežni, pouzdani i dosledni. Većina nas, uključujući i mene rekli bi da su osobine u govoru na opelu najvažnije osobine. Ali po mom mišljenju, da li su te osobine one o kojima najviše razmišljam? Odgovor je ne.
So I've been thinking about that problem, and a thinker who has helped me think about it is a guy named Joseph Soloveitchik, who was a rabbi who wrote a book called "The Lonely Man Of Faith" in 1965. Soloveitchik said there are two sides of our natures, which he called Adam I and Adam II. Adam I is the worldly, ambitious, external side of our nature. He wants to build, create, create companies, create innovation. Adam II is the humble side of our nature. Adam II wants not only to do good but to be good, to live in a way internally that honors God, creation and our possibilities. Adam I wants to conquer the world. Adam II wants to hear a calling and obey the world. Adam I savors accomplishment. Adam II savors inner consistency and strength. Adam I asks how things work. Adam II asks why we're here. Adam I's motto is "success." Adam II's motto is "love, redemption and return."
Tako da sam razmišljao o tom problemu, i u tome mi je pomogao rabin, Džozef Solovečik. On je napisao knjigu "Usamljeni ljudi vere" 1965. Solovečik je rekao da postoje dve strane naše prirode, koje je on nazvao Adam I i Adam II. Adam I je svetovan čovek, ambiciozan spoljašnja strana naše prirode. Želi da gradi, stvara, da pravi kompanije, da stvara inovacije. Adam II je skromna strana naše prirode. Adam II ne želi samo da čini dobro, već i da bude dobar, da duhovno živi poštuje boga, stvaranje i naše mogućnosti. Adam I želi da osvoji svet. Adam II želi da se odazove pozivu i povinuje svetu. Adam I uživa u uspehu. Adam II uživa u unutrašnjoj doslednosti i snazi. Adam I pita kako stvari funkcionišu, Adam II se pita zašto smo ovde. Moto Adama I je "uspeh". Moto Adama II je "ljubav, iskupljenje i povratak".
And Soloveitchik argued that these two sides of our nature are at war with each other. We live in perpetual self-confrontation between the external success and the internal value. And the tricky thing, I'd say, about these two sides of our nature is they work by different logics. The external logic is an economic logic: input leads to output, risk leads to reward. The internal side of our nature is a moral logic and often an inverse logic. You have to give to receive. You have to surrender to something outside yourself to gain strength within yourself. You have to conquer the desire to get what you want. In order to fulfill yourself, you have to forget yourself. In order to find yourself, you have to lose yourself.
Solevičik je smatrao da ove dve strane naše prirode ratuju. Živimo u neprestanom samosuprotstavljanju, između spoljašnjeg uspeha i unutrašnjih vrednosti. A zanimljivo je, rekao bih, kod ove dve strane naše prirode, što one rade različitom logikom. Spoljašnja logika je ekonomska logika: uloženo dovodi do uspeha, rizik vodi ka profitu. Unutrašnja strana naše prirode je moralna logika i često obrnuta logika. Moraš da daš da bi primio. Moraš da se predaš nečemu izvan sebe da bi imao snagu u sebi. Treba da savladaš želju da bi dobio ono što hoćeš. Da bi bili ispunjeni, morate da zaboravite na sebe. Da bi sebe našli, morate da se izgubite.
We happen to live in a society that favors Adam I, and often neglects Adam II. And the problem is, that turns you into a shrewd animal who treats life as a game, and you become a cold, calculating creature who slips into a sort of mediocrity where you realize there's a difference between your desired self and your actual self. You're not earning the sort of eulogy you want, you hope someone will give to you. You don't have the depth of conviction. You don't have an emotional sonorousness. You don't have commitment to tasks that would take more than a lifetime to commit.
Živimo u društvu gde se više voli Adam I, i često zapostavlja Adam II. Problem je, što te pretvaraju u lukavu životinju koja na život gleda kao na borbu, i postanete hladna, proračunata osoba koja postane neka vrsta mediokriteta, gde shvatite da ima razlike, između onoga što želite da budete i onoga što jeste. Ne zaslužujete onakav posmrtni govor kakav želite, za koji se nadate da će neko da ga ispriča. Nemate dubinu ubeđenja. Nemate emotivni tonalitet. Nemate posvećenost ciljevima za koje je potrebno više od života da se ostvari.
I was reminded of a common response through history of how you build a solid Adam II, how you build a depth of character. Through history, people have gone back into their own pasts, sometimes to a precious time in their life, to their childhood, and often, the mind gravitates in the past to a moment of shame, some sin committed, some act of selfishness, an act of omission, of shallowness, the sin of anger, the sin of self-pity, trying to be a people-pleaser, a lack of courage. Adam I is built by building on your strengths. Adam II is built by fighting your weaknesses. You go into yourself, you find the sin which you've committed over and again through your life, your signature sin out of which the others emerge, and you fight that sin and you wrestle with that sin, and out of that wrestling, that suffering, then a depth of character is constructed. And we're often not taught to recognize the sin in ourselves, in that we're not taught in this culture how to wrestle with it, how to confront it, and how to combat it. We live in a culture with an Adam I mentality where we're inarticulate about Adam II.
Podsetio sam se uobičajenog odgovora tokom istorije kako izgraditi čvrstog Adama II, kako produbiti karakter. Tokom istorije, ljudi su se vraćali svojim prošlostima, ponekad posebnim trenucima iz njihovog života, njihovim detinjstvima i često um gravitira ka prošlosti, ka trenutku sramote, počinjenom grehu, nekom sebičnom činu, propustima i površnostima, grehu besa, grehu samosažaljenja, pokušavajući da ugode drugima i nedostatku hrabrosti. Adama I čini vaša snaga. Adama II čini vaša borba sa slabostima. Pogledajte sebe iznutra, pronaći ćete greh koji ste stalno ponavljali tokom svog života, vaš lični greh iz koga se javljaju ostali i borite se sa tim grehom i rvite se sa tim grehom, i iz te borbe, te patnje izgrađena je dubina vašeg karaktera. I često nismo naučeni da prepoznajemo greh u sebi pa nismo naučeni u ovoj kulturi ni kako da se borimo sa njim, kako da se suprotstavimo i kako da se izborimo sa njim. Živimo u svetu gde je Adam I mentalitet i u kome ne razumemo Adama II.
Finally, Reinhold Niebuhr summed up the confrontation, the fully lived Adam I and Adam II life, this way: "Nothing that is worth doing can be achieved in our lifetime; therefore we must be saved by hope. Nothing which is true or beautiful or good makes complete sense in any immediate context of history; therefore we must be saved by faith. Nothing we do, however virtuous, can be accomplished alone; therefore we must be saved by love. No virtuous act is quite as virtuous from the standpoint of our friend or foe as from our own standpoint. Therefore we must be saved by that final form of love, which is forgiveness.”
Konačno, Rajnhold Nibur sažeo je tu suprotnost, prisutnost Adama I i Adama II u životu, sledećim rečima: "Ništa što je vredno činjenja ne može se postići u jednom životu, zato nas nada mora spasiti. Ništa što je istina ili lepo ili dobro nema smisao u bilo kom neposrednom kontekstu istorije, zato nas mora spasiti vera. Ništa što činimo, koliko god dobro bilo, ne može biti ostvareno za sebe; zato nas mora spasiti ljubav. Nijedno dobro delo nije dobro iz ugla našeg prijatelja ili neprijatelja, kao iz našeg ličnog ugla. Zato nas mora spasiti konačni oblik ljubavi a to je oproštaj."
Thanks.
Hvala.
(Applause)
(Aplauz)