"I've got people in me." So sang the late Abbey Lincoln. I take that lyric as mantra. "I've got people in me." Jomama Jones is the person in me I turn to as a guide. She's my alter ego. I've been embodying her in performance since 1995, and she comes around when she has some insight to offer folks. At this time of radical change, I'm glad to be the vessel for her message to you.
「我內在住著很多人。」 已逝的艾比·林肯曾這樣唱道。 我將這句歌詞當成真言般不斷重複。 「我內在住著很多人。」 喬瑪瑪·瓊斯是住在我內在的嚮導。 她是另一個我。 我從 1995 年開始就在表演中 扮演我內在的這個人, 當她想和大家分享見解時, 她就會浮現。 此刻,鉅變正在發生, 我很榮幸能成為媒介, 將她的訊息傳達給你。
Jomama Jones: What if I told you it's going to be alright ... but what if I told you not yet? What if I told you there are trials ahead beyond your deepest fears? What if I told you will you fall ... down, down, down? But what if I told you you will surprise yourself? What if I told you will be brave enough? What if I told you we won't all make it through? But what if I told you that is as it must be? What if I told you I've seen the future?
喬瑪瑪·瓊斯:如果我告訴你, 一切都會好起來的…… 但如果我告訴你,時候還沒到呢? 如果我告訴你,路途前方有重重考驗, 超越你內心最深的恐懼呢? 如果我告訴你,你會失敗得 很慘、很慘、很慘呢? 但是,如果我告訴你, 你的能力超乎自己的想像呢? 如果我告訴你會變得夠勇敢呢? 如果我告訴你, 並不是每個人都能撐過去呢? 那如果我告訴你, 世事必定如此呢? 如果我告訴你,我預見了未來呢?
Do you like my hands? They're expressive, yeah? Now look at your hands -- now go on. There's so much history recorded through their touches and marks of the future sketched on their palms. Sometimes hands grip tight, sometimes hands let go. What if I told you it's all going to come undone? Hm.
你喜歡這雙手嗎? 它們很有表達力,對吧? 現在看看你自己的雙手──看看它們。 透過觸覺記錄了這麼多的歷史, 而未來已描繪在手掌上。 有時雙手握得很緊, 有時雙手放開。 如果我告訴你, 這一切都會崩塌呢? 哼嗯。
Ladies and gentlemen and otherwise described, I am Jomama Jones. Some call me a soul sonic superstar, and I agree, though even in my past that was from the future.
先生、女士們, 還有不是先生也不是女士的人, 我是喬瑪瑪·瓊斯。 有人稱呼我為靈魂的音速超級巨星, 而我也同意, 儘管在我的過去, 那也是來自於未來的事。
Let me take you back to girlhood. Picture this: it was Planting Day, which was a holiday I invented for the Black youth community group I founded. I dashed home to put on my gardening ensemble when I caught my uncle Freeman red-handed. He was standing over my piggy bank with his hammer raised high. He was fixing to steal my coins.
讓我帶你回到我的少女時代。 想像一下: 在「植樹節」那天── 那是我為我創立的黑人青年 社群團體所發明的節日。 在我衝回家穿上園藝裝備時, 費里曼叔叔被我逮了個正著。 他站在我的小豬撲滿前, 手中的錘子高高舉起。 他正準備偷我的錢。
And you see, my uncle Freeman was a handyman. He could fix anything -- a broken chair, a shattered pot -- even bring grandmother's plants back to life. He had that magic touch with broken things ... and broken people. He would take me with him on his jobs and say, "C'mon Jo, let's go do something to make this world a better place." His hands were wide and calloused, and they always reminded me of displaced tree roots.
你要了解, 我的費里曼叔叔是修理工。 他可以修好任何東西 ──壞掉的椅子、破掉的鍋子── 甚至可以讓奶奶的盆栽起死回生。 他的手像是有魔法般, 可以修好壞掉的東西…… 也可以治好心碎的人。 他會帶著我跟著他一起工作, 對我說:「小喬,快來! 我們來做些什麼, 讓這個世界變得更美好吧。」 他的雙手寬大而長滿老繭, 總是讓我想起失去土壤的樹根。
As we worked he would talk with folks about the change he was sure was just around the corner. I saw him mend flagging hopes and leave folks with their heads held high. His hands stirred the sunshine.
我們工作時,他會和人們談論 他確信即將會到來的變化。 我看過他修補失落的希望, 讓人們能夠抬頭挺胸。 他的雙手可以撥動陽光。
And now he was about to break my piggy bank. I said "Step back, man, and show me your hands." You know the irony was he used to give me all the old coins he'd find under floorboards while working. And I put them in the piggy bank along with the money I earned through my childhood side hustles.
但現在,他就要敲碎我的撲滿。 我說:「喂,退後, 給我看看你的手。」 最諷刺的是, 他以前會把工作時從木地板底下 撿到的零錢全都給我。 我全都投進我的撲滿, 連同我在童年打零工掙來的錢一起。
But by the spring of 1970, Uncle Freeman had lost his touch ... along with most of his jobs. He saw a heavy future of civil wrongs and Black power outages in his palms. The last straw had come the previous winter when they had gunned down Fred Hampton. Overwhelmed with fear and rage and grief, Uncle Freeman tried to game his future. He gripped too tight, and he started playing the numbers.
但是到了 1970 年的春天, 費里曼叔叔的能力大不如前…… 也失去大部分的工作。 他從掌紋上看到了沉重的未來, 國內充斥不公不義, 黑人族群失去權益。 壓倒他的最後一根稻草 是在前一年的冬天, 黑人政黨領導人 弗雷德·漢普頓遭到槍殺。 淹沒在恐懼、 怒氣、 還有悲傷之中, 費里曼叔叔開始拿未來做賭注。 他拼命地想抓住未來, 他開始簽賭。
"Well, one of these numbers is gonna hit, little girl. You got a quarter for your uncle Free -- " Now some of y'all have that relative. But I knew right then and there I had to do something. I jumped up and I grabbed that hammer and I brought it crashing down on that pig. And Uncle Freeman started to weep as I gathered up all the coins. "We're not buying no lottery ticket, Uncle Freeman. C'mon."
「好吧,小妹妹, 這裡面肯定有一個數字會中。 你有 25 分錢可以給費里曼叔──」 你們當中總有人有這樣的親戚吧? 但是在那當下,我知道我該做些什麼。 我跳起來抓住那把錘子, 然後拿它砸破我的小豬撲滿。 當我把散落的硬幣收集起來時, 費里曼叔叔開始流淚。 「費里曼叔叔,我們不要買樂透了, 不要了!」
We spent every last cent at the seed store. You know, the kids in my gardening group? They didn't bat an eye when I had Uncle Freeman get down and put his hands in the earth again and start breaking up that soil for our seeds. And my little friend Taesha even came over and started slapping him on the back saying, "Cry it out, Uncle Freeman. Cry it out."
我們把每一分錢都用去店裡買種子了。 你知道嗎?那些跟我一起 玩園藝的孩子, 在我讓費里曼叔叔蹲下時, 他們眼睛都不眨一下。 我讓他重新把雙手伸入土壤中, 然後把土挖開、埋下我們的種子。 我的朋友泰伊莎還走過來, 然後用力拍他的背, 並說:「費里曼叔叔,哭出來吧! 好好哭一哭吧!」
"I can't fix this," he sobbed. It's an ancient-future truism, that. He wasn't the first to feel that way, and he wouldn't be the last. Right now, it feels as though everything is breaking beyond repair. It is. But that breaking apart can be a breaking open, no matter how violent and uncertain and fearsome it seems. The thing is ... we can't do it alone.
「我修不好了。」他啜泣道。 那是古今皆然的老生常談。 他不會是第一個有這種感覺的人, 也不會是最後一個。 現在,一切好像都支離破碎, 永遠都修不好了。 確實如此。 但是在崩潰的時候, 也可以是突破的轉機。 儘管看起來有多麼地 劇烈、不確定與駭人。 重要的是…… 我們不能獨自面對。
Uncle Freeman cried so much that day as we planted our seeds, he was our very own irrigation system. "I don't know who I am anymore, little girl," he said to me at sundown. "Good, Uncle Freeman. Good. You're new again, and that's just how we need you."
在我們種下種子的那天, 費里曼叔叔哭了好久, 他哭出來的淚水 都可以替我們灌溉植物了。 「小妹妹,我不曉得自己是誰了。」 夕陽西下時,他這樣對我說道。 「費里曼叔叔,這樣很好。 這樣很好。 你又重獲新生了, 我們需要的就是這樣的你。」