A leader is steady, firm, decisive, unwavering. Never let 'em see you sweat, always have an answer.
領導人要沉著、 堅定、果決、不動搖。 千萬不能讓別人看見你冒冷汗, 永遠都要有答案。
[The Way We Work]
〔我們工作的方式〕
My name is Dan, I'm a partner at a global creative consultancy. But there's another side to me: Carrie Dragshaw, the character I created on Instagram. As I thought about my double life, I couldn't help but wonder ... When your true self is a little nontraditional, how much of it can you really bring to the office? For some of us is authenticity off-limits?
我叫做丹,我是一間全球創意 顧問諮詢公司的合夥人。 但我還有另一面: 凱莉變裝蕭, 我在 Instagram 上 創造出來的角色。 想到我的雙重身分時, 我就無法不納悶…… 如果你的真實自我 和傳統有一點點不同, 你能把多少的真實自我 帶到辦公室中? 對某些人來說,真實性是禁區?
For the first 10 years of my career, I thought there was one way to be a leader: decisive and serious. But that's not me. So I'd put on basically office drag to fit the role: I'd talk in a deeper voice, try to hold in my hand motions. I'm someone who gets really excited about things, so I'd temper that. I had this little voice in my head, telling me, "You're too gay, too feminine, too flamboyant." I had one well-intentioned adviser who said, "Everyone knows you're gay. And that's great. But you don't need to beat them over the head with it."
在我職涯的前十年, 我以為要成為領導人 只有一種方式: 要果決且嚴肅。 但我不是這樣的人。 所以,我穿上了辦公室變裝, 來配合這個角色: 我會用比較低沉的聲音說話, 試著控制我的手部動作。 我是那種會對事物很興奮的人, 我得要在這方面多克制。 我腦中有個小聲音在跟我說: 「你太同性戀了, 太娘了,太浮誇了。」 我有一位顧問,出自善意這麼說: 「大家都知道你是同性戀。那很好。 但你不需要一直 向他們強調這一點。」
Cut to: me in a tutu, for Halloween 2016. I dressed up as my favorite TV show character, Carrie Bradshaw, thinking my friends would get a kick out of it. And then, things got crazy. The post went viral, and at first it was pure fun. I started getting these incredible messages from people about how happy it made them, how it encouraged them to be their authentic selves. And I started to think, maybe this is the time to tell that little voice in my head to just shut up and let myself be me. But then things got a little too big.
切換到:2016 年萬聖節, 這是我穿著短裙。 我打扮成我最喜歡的 電視節目角色凱莉布雷蕭, 心想我的朋友會很喜歡。 接著,一切失控了。 這篇貼文被瘋傳, 一開始只是單純好玩。 我開始收到大家 傳來的訊息,棒極了, 我讓他們很高興, 鼓舞了他們,去做真實的自己。 我開始想, 也許該是叫我腦中的 小聲音閉嘴的時候了, 讓我做自己吧。 但,接著,事情鬧得有點大。
Carrie Dragshaw was everywhere -- In the "New York Post", "US Weekly" -- and I got terrified: "What would my bosses think? Would my coworkers still respect me as a leader? What would my clients think?" I thought I was going to have to get a different job. But then, something happened, something small. I got a text from my boss, it wasn't long, it just said, "Wow, Cosmo!" With a link to an article that had just gone up about me. And it let me put that little, scared voice away and just be excited about this whole new world, rather than freaked out.
到處都是凱莉變裝蕭—— 《紐約郵報》、《US 週刊》—— 我嚇壞了: 「我的老闆們會怎麼想? 我的同事還會把我 當領導人來尊重嗎? 我的客戶會怎麼想?」 我以為我得要開始找新工作了。 但,接著,發生了 一件事,一件小事。 我老闆傳了一則訊息給我, 訊息不長,寫著: 「哇,上柯夢波丹了!」 並附上一個連結, 連到一篇關於我的新文章。 這讓我把那害怕的小聲音收了起來, 單純地對這個全新的 世界感到興奮, 而不是被嚇壞。
That's the power of one person, sometimes all it takes is one ally to make you feel comfortable. And my coworkers started acting differently. They became more open, more playful with me, it was as if knowing this other side of me gave them permission to be more of themselves as well. I thought that openness and vulnerability would actually decrease my standing with my team. But it's done the opposite.
那就是一個人的力量, 有時候,只要有一個盟友, 就能讓你感到舒服。 我同事的行為開始改變。 他們對我的方式變得 比較開放,比較會開玩笑, 好像知道了我的另一面之後, 讓他們也可以更去做自己。 我以為開放和脆弱 會降低我在我的團隊中的地位。 但結果卻相反。
Two years in, I never could have imagined that this part of me would not just be embraced, but could actually help my career. Now, I'm lucky. I work in New York City, in an office where creativity is valued and I was already pretty established in my career when all of this started. Maybe that's you, maybe it isn't. But all of this has taught me so much about just the importance of bringing your whole self to work. And it's really challenged my own misperceptions about what it takes to be successful.
兩年過去了, 我當初怎麼也料想不到, 我的這個部分不僅會被擁抱, 還對我的職涯有益。 我很幸運。 我在紐約市工作, 在我們的辦公室裡, 大家很重視創意, 在這一切開始之前,我的職涯 其實就已經有不錯的基礎。 也許你也是這樣,也許不是。 但我從這一切學了好多, 學到要把完整的自己帶到工作上。 這件事真的挑戰了我的誤解, 我誤解了成功需要的要件。
There's no one kind of way to be a leader. It's about finding your strengths and finding ways to amplify them. Before, if a meeting was hard, I'd put on my perfect leader mask. Now, I can say, "Gosh, that was frustrating." We can talk about challenges and struggles in an open way, rather than everybody pretending that they're fine until it's too late. Concealing an identity takes work. Think of all the wasted energy spent pretending, wishing you were someone different. What's most interesting to me, though, is that in this big study of covering, 93 percent of those who say they're doing it also believe their organization values inclusion. So clearly, our workplaces and all of our strange inner voices have a long way to go on acceptance.
並不是一定要用 某種方式才能當領導人。 重點是找到你的長處, 想辦法放大這些長處。 以前,遇到難搞的會議時, 我會戴上我的完美領導人面具。 現在,我能說:「老天, 那真讓人洩氣。」 我們可以用開放的方式 來討論挑戰與困難, 不用每個人都假裝自己 沒事,直到為時已晚。 隱藏身分需要下功夫。 想想我們浪費了多少精力在假裝, 在希望成為另一個人。 不過,對我來說,最有趣的是, 在這項關於掩飾的研究中, 說自己有在掩飾的人當中,有93% 同時也相信他們的組織 很重視包容。 所以,很顯然,我們的工作場所 和我們奇怪的內在聲音 還要走很長的路才能有所共識。
There's a big difference between adapting and disguising. And I think I learned that a little late. Personally, I'm taking all of this as a call to be the ally who, like my boss did for me, lets people know that it's OK to open up. If you're gay, or proud of your ethnic background, or have a disability or are deeply religious, see what it's like being your full self at work. You might be pleasantly surprised.
適應和偽裝有很大的不同。 我想我太晚才學到這一課了。 我個人會把這一切當作是使命, 教我也要扮演別人的盟友, 就像我老闆為我做的, 讓大家知道,我們可以開放做自己。 如果你是同性戀, 或為你的人種背景感到驕傲, 或有身心障礙、有很深的宗教信仰, 試試看把完整的自己 帶去工作會是怎樣的狀況。 你可能會得到很棒的驚喜。