Who do you want to be? It's a simple question, and whether you know it or not, you're answering it every day through your actions. This one question will define your professional success more than any other, because how you show up and treat people means everything. Either you lift people up by respecting them, making them feel valued, appreciated and heard, or you hold people down by making them feel small, insulted, disregarded or excluded. And who you choose to be means everything.
你想要成為什麼人? 這是個很簡單的問題, 不論你是否知道, 你每天都透過你的行為 在回答這個問題。 比起其他問題, 這個問題更能定義 你在專業上的成功, 因為你以什麼樣子出現, 以及如何待人,是最重要的。 也許你會透過尊重 他人的方式來鼓舞他人, 讓他們覺得被重視、 被賞識、被聽見, 也有可能你會貶低他人, 讓他們覺得自己沒價值, 被侮辱、被漠視、被排擠。 而你選擇要成為 什麼樣的人是最重要的。
I study the effects of incivility on people. What is incivility? It's disrespect or rudeness. It includes a lot of different behaviors, from mocking or belittling someone to teasing people in ways that sting to telling offensive jokes to texting in meetings. And what's uncivil to one person may be absolutely fine to another. Take texting while someone's speaking to you. Some of us may find it rude, others may think it's absolutely civil. So it really depends. It's all in the eyes of the beholder and whether that person felt disrespected. We may not mean to make someone feel that way, but when we do, it has consequences.
我研究不文明對於人的影響。 什麼是不文明? 不文明就是不尊敬或粗魯。 它包括許多不同的行為, 從嘲笑或輕視別人, 到用會傷人的方式取笑別人, 到說冒犯的笑話, 到在開會時傳訊息。 同樣的行為,一個人 可能覺得不文明, 另一個人卻覺得沒關係。 用交談時傳訊息這個行為為例子。 有些人覺得這樣很沒禮貌, 有些人則覺得那完全 是文明的行為。 所以,真的因人而異。 完全是看觀者的角度, 以及當事人是否感覺到不被尊敬。 我們本意可能不是 要造成對方有那種感覺, 但當我們有意的時候,會有後果。
Over 22 years ago, I vividly recall walking into this stuffy hospital room. It was heartbreaking to see my dad, this strong, athletic, energetic guy, lying in the bed with electrodes strapped to his bare chest. What put him there was work-related stress. For over a decade, he suffered an uncivil boss. And for me, I thought he was just an outlier at that time. But just a couple years later, I witnessed and experienced a lot of incivility in my first job out of college. I spent a year going to work every day and hearing things from coworkers like, "Are you an idiot? That's not how it's done," and, "If I wanted your opinion, I'd ask."
至少 22 年前, 我還很清楚記得, 我走進醫院中一間悶熱的房間。 我的心碎了,我看見我爸爸, 一個強壯、很會運動、 充滿能量的人, 躺在病床上, 電極貼在他袒露的胸口。 他住院的原因是工作相關的壓力。 超過十年來, 他都為一個很不文明的老闆工作。 那時,我以為他只是一個特例。 但,幾年後, 我在大學畢業後的第一份工作中, 目擊和經歷了許多不文明。 我有一年的時間,每天去上班, 都會聽到同事說這樣的話: 「你是白痴嗎?不是這樣做的。」 還有「如果我想聽 你的意見,我會問。」
So I did the natural thing. I quit, and I went back to grad school to study the effects of this. There, I met Christine Pearson. And she had a theory that small, uncivil actions can lead to much bigger problems like aggression and violence. We believed that incivility affected performance and the bottom line. So we launched a study, and what we found was eye-opening.
所以,我做了很自然的反應。 我辭職了,回到研究所 去研究這種現象的影響。 在研究所,我遇到了 克莉絲汀皮爾森。 她有個理論,她認為 不文明的小小行為 可能會導致很大的問題, 比如侵犯和暴力。 我們相信不文明 會影響表現和結果。 於是,我們進行了一項研究, 我們的發現很令人驚異。
We sent a survey to business school alumni working in all different organizations. We asked them to write a few sentences about one experience where they were treated rudely, disrespectfully or insensitively, and to answer questions about how they reacted. One person told us about a boss that made insulting statements like, "That's kindergartner's work," and another tore up someone's work in front of the entire team. And what we found is that incivility made people less motivated: 66 percent cut back work efforts, 80 percent lost time worrying about what happened, and 12 percent left their job.
我們向在不同組織工作的 商學院校友發出問卷, 我們請他們寫下幾個句子, 描述他們被不禮貌、不尊敬、 或冷漠對待的經驗, 並回答一些關於他們 如何反應的問題。 有一個人告訴我們, 他的老闆會說出這樣侮辱人的話: 「那是幼稚園小孩的工作。」 還有另一個老闆會在團隊面前 直接撕掉某個人的成果。 我們發現,不文明 會降低人的動力: 66% 的人會減少工作投入的努力, 80% 的人會花時間擔心發生的事, 12% 的人會離職。
And after we published these results, two things happened. One, we got calls from organizations. Cisco read about these numbers, took just a few of these and estimated, conservatively, that incivility was costing them 12 million dollars a year.
當我們把這些結果發佈出來 之後,發生了兩件事。 第一,我們接到組織打來的電話。 思科系統看到了這些數據, 從中挑選了幾項, 並做了保守的估計, 不文明會讓他們一年 損失 1200 萬美元。
The second thing that happened was, we heard from others in our academic field who said, "Well, people are reporting this, but how can you really show it? Does people's performance really suffer?" I was curious about that, too. With Amir Erez, I compared those that experienced incivility to those that didn't experience incivility. And what we found is that those that experience incivility do actually function much worse.
發生的另一件事情是, 我們聽到同在學術領域的人說: 「受試者回報了這些資訊, 但你們要怎麼證明? 大家的表現真的有受影響嗎?」 我對這一點也很好奇。 我和阿米爾艾瑞茲一起 將遇到不文明行為的人 和沒遇到不文明行為的人做比較。 我們發現,遇到不文明行為的人 表現真的會差很多。
"OK," you may say. "This makes sense. After all, it's natural that their performance suffers." But what about if you're not the one who experiences it? What if you just see or hear it? You're a witness. We wondered if it affected witnesses, too.
「好,」你可能會說: 「那是合理的。 畢竟,他們的表現 變糟是很自然的。」 但如果你不是 親身經歷的當事人呢? 如果你只是看到或聽到這種事呢? 你是目擊者。 我們也想知道目擊者會不會被影響。
So we conducted studies where five participants would witness an experimenter act rudely to someone who arrived late to the study. The experimenter said, "What is it with you? You arrive late, you're irresponsible. Look at you! How do you expect to hold a job in the real world?" And in another study in a small group, we tested the effects of a peer insulting a group member. Now, what we found was really interesting, because witnesses' performance decreased, too -- and not just marginally, quite significantly.
所以我們做了研究, 讓五位受試者目擊 實驗者對研究遲到的人 做出無禮的行為。 實驗者說:「你是怎麼搞的? 你遲到了,你很不負責。 看看你!你在真實世界怎麼 可能維持得住一份工作?」 在另一項研究中, 對象是一小群人, 我們測試的是同儕 侮辱團體成員的影響。 我們的發現相當有意思, 因為目擊者的表現也會下降—— 不只有一點點下降, 是很顯著的下降。
Incivility is a bug. It's contagious, and we become carriers of it just by being around it. And this isn't confined to the workplace. We can catch this virus anywhere -- at home, online, in schools and in our communities. It affects our emotions, our motivation, our performance and how we treat others. It even affects our attention and can take some of our brainpower. And this happens not only if we experience incivility or we witness it. It can happen even if we just see or read rude words. Let me give you an example of what I mean.
不文明就像是病菌。 它會感染, 我們只要在旁邊, 就會成為帶原者。 且這現象不只發生在工作場所。 我們在任何地方都能 抓到這種病毒—— 在家、在網路上、 在學校、在我們的社區裡。 它會影響我們的情緒、 我們的動機、 我們的表現,及我們待人的方式。 它甚至會影響我們的注意力, 還會減低我們的智力。 這個現象不僅是在我們經歷 或目擊不文明的行為時會發生。 就連我們看到或讀到 不文明的文字時也會發生。 讓我舉個例子說明我的意思。
To test this, we gave people combinations of words to use to make a sentence. But we were very sneaky. Half the participants got a list with 15 words used to trigger rudeness: impolitely, interrupt, obnoxious, bother. Half the participants received a list of words with none of these rude triggers. And what we found was really surprising, because the people who got the rude words were five times more likely to miss information right in front of them on the computer screen. And as we continued this research, what we found is that those that read the rude words took longer to make decisions, to record their decisions, and they made significantly more errors. This can be a big deal, especially when it comes to life-and-death situations.
為了測試這個現象, 我們給受試者不同組的字詞, 要用這些字詞來造句。 但我們非常狡猾。 一半的受試者拿到的字詞清單上, 會有十五個字詞用來觸發無禮: 不禮貌、打斷、可憎、煩擾。 另一半的受試者拿到的字詞清單 完全沒有這種觸發字詞。 我們的發現十分讓人驚訝, 因為拿到無禮字詞的人 有五倍的可能性,會錯失面前 電腦螢幕上呈現的資訊。 我們繼續研究下去, 發現讀到無禮字詞的人 要花較長的時間才能 做決策、記錄決策, 且他們犯的錯明顯比較多。 這可能是件大事, 特別是在生死一線間的情況下。
Steve, a physician, told me about a doctor that he worked with who was never very respectful, especially to junior staff and nurses. But Steve told me about this one particular interaction where this doctor shouted at a medical team. Right after the interaction, the team gave the wrong dosage of medication to their patient. Steve said the information was right there on the chart, but somehow everyone on the team missed it. He said they lacked the attention or awareness to take it into account. Simple mistake, right? Well, that patient died.
史帝夫是一位醫生,他告訴我, 有位和他合作的醫生 不是非常會尊重人, 特別會對資淺的員工 和護士不尊重。 但史帝夫跟我談到 一次特別的互動, 這位醫生對著醫療團隊大吼。 在這次互動之後, 團隊馬上就弄錯了 給病人的藥物劑量。 史帝夫說,資訊就在圖表上, 但不知怎麼的,團隊的 每個人都沒看清楚。 他說他們缺乏注意力, 或是沒有意識到要考量那資訊。 不過是一個錯誤,對吧? 嗯,那位病人死了。
Researchers in Israel have actually shown that medical teams exposed to rudeness perform worse not only in all their diagnostics, but in all the procedures they did. This was mainly because the teams exposed to rudeness didn't share information as readily, and they stopped seeking help from their teammates. And I see this not only in medicine but in all industries.
以色列的研究者發現, 接觸不文明行為的醫療團隊 不只是在診斷上的表現較差, 在他們要做的 所有程序上表現都較差。 主要的原因是因為 接觸到不文明行為的團隊, 不會很樂意分享資訊, 他們也不再向團隊隊友尋求協助。 不僅是在醫療界, 在所有產業都是如此。
So if incivility has such a huge cost, why do we still see so much of it? I was curious, so we surveyed people about this, too. The number one reason is stress. People feel overwhelmed. The other reason that people are not more civil is because they're skeptical and even concerned about being civil or appearing nice. They believe they'll appear less leader-like. They wonder: Do nice guys finish last? Or in other words: Do jerks get ahead? (Laughter) It's easy to think so, especially when we see a few prominent examples that dominate the conversation.
如果不文明會造成這麼大的成本, 為什麼還那麼常見? 我很好奇,所以我們 也做了相關的調查。 第一名的理由是壓力。 人們覺得無法招架。 另一個讓人做出不文明行為的理由, 是因為他們對於 文明行為或是表現友善 抱持懷疑甚至擔心的態度。 他們相信他們看起來 會比較不像領導人。 他們納悶:好人不都是 跑最後一名的嗎? 換言之:渾蛋不都是領先的嗎? (笑聲) 很容易會這樣認為, 特別是當我們看到幾個 很顯著的例子, 他們能支配主導對話。
Well, it turns out, in the long run, they don't. There's really rich research on this by Morgan McCall and Michael Lombardo when they were at the Center for Creative Leadership. They found that the number one reason tied to executive failure was an insensitive, abrasive or bullying style. There will always be some outliers that succeed despite their incivility. Sooner or later, though, most uncivil people sabotage their success. For example, with uncivil executives, it comes back to hurt them when they're in a place of weakness or they need something. People won't have their backs.
不過,結果發現, 長期來看,他們無法主導。 摩根麥克科爾和麥可隆巴多 做了很多這方面的研究, 當時他們為創意領導力中心工作。 他們發現,主管人物失敗 最相關的理由, 是冷漠、傷人,或霸凌的風格。 一定會有一些就算不文明 也能成功的例外。 不過,遲早, 大部分不文明的人 都會破壞掉自己的成功。 比如,就不文明的主管來說, 當他們處在弱勢的時候, 或有所需求的時候, 就會反過來被傷害。 沒有人會挺他們。
But what about nice guys? Does civility pay? Yes, it does. And being civil doesn't just mean that you're not a jerk. Not holding someone down isn't the same as lifting them up. Being truly civil means doing the small things, like smiling and saying hello in the hallway, listening fully when someone's speaking to you. Now, you can have strong opinions, disagree, have conflict or give negative feedback civilly, with respect. Some people call it "radical candor," where you care personally, but you challenge directly. So yes, civility pays. In a biotechnology firm, colleagues and I found that those that were seen as civil were twice as likely to be viewed as leaders, and they performed significantly better. Why does civility pay? Because people see you as an important -- and a powerful -- unique combination of two key characteristics: warm and competent, friendly and smart. In other words, being civil isn't just about motivating others. It's about you. If you're civil, you're more likely to be seen as a leader. You'll perform better, and you're seen as warm and competent.
那麼,好人呢? 文明會有好處嗎?有的。 文明的意思並不只是不要當渾蛋。 不要輕視別人,並不表示 就是在鼓舞他們。 真正文明的意思是要做些小事情, 比如在走廊遇到要微笑說哈囉, 當別人在說話時要專心去傾聽。 不論是抱持很強的意見、 不同意對方、意見分歧, 或給予負面回饋, 都能帶著尊重, 用文明的方式做到。 有些人稱它為「徹底坦誠」, 你是關心人的, 但你也會直接挑戰他們。 所以,是的,文明會有好處。 在一間生技公司中, 我和我同事發現 被認為文明的人 被視為是領導者的 可能性有兩倍高, 他們的表現也顯著比較好。 為什麼文明會有好處? 因為別人會認為你以很重要的—— 且強大的—— 獨特方式結合了兩種關鍵特質: 溫暖和有能力、友善和聰明。 換言之,表現文明 不只是要激勵他人, 也是為了自己。 如果你很文明,你比較 有可能被視為領導人。 你的表現會比較好, 你會被視為溫暖又有能力。
But there's an even bigger story about how civility pays, and it ties to one of the most important questions around leadership: What do people want most from their leaders? We took data from over 20,000 employees around the world, and we found the answer was simple: respect. Being treated with respect was more important than recognition and appreciation, useful feedback, even opportunities for learning. Those that felt respected were healthier, more focused, more likely to stay with their organization and far more engaged.
但文明的好處還不僅止於此, 它還牽涉到一個和領導力相關 非常重要的問題: 人最想要從他們的領導人 身上得到什麼? 我們從全世界超過 兩萬名員工取得資料, 我們發現答案很簡單: 尊重。 被尊重對待, 比被認可和被賞識還更重要, 也比有用的意見回饋、 甚至學習機會都還更重要。 覺得自己被尊重的人, 會比較健康、比較能專心、 比較有可能留在組織中, 且投入得更多。
So where do you start? How can you lift people up and make people feel respected? Well, the nice thing is, it doesn't require a huge shift. Small things can make a big difference. I found that thanking people, sharing credit, listening attentively, humbly asking questions, acknowledging others and smiling has an impact.
所以,你們要從何著手? 你們要如何鼓舞別人, 並讓他們覺得被尊重? 很棒的一點就是, 你並不需要做大轉變。 小事就能造成很大的不同。 我發現,感謝別人、 分享功勞、 專心傾聽、 謙虛發問、 認可他人,以及微笑 就會造成影響。
Patrick Quinlan, former CEO of Ochsner Health [System], told me about the effects of their 10-5 way, where if you're within 10 feet of someone, you make eye contact and smile, and if you're within five feet, you say hello. He explained that civility spread, patient satisfaction scores rose, as did patient referrals.
派屈克奎蘭是歐斯納醫療 〔體系〕的前任執行長, 他跟我說,他們有種 「10—5」方法, 如果你在某人的 10 英呎之內, 你要做眼神交會以及微笑, 如果是有 5 英呎內,你要說哈囉。 他解釋說,文明行為會散播, 病人的滿意度分數會上升, 病人的推薦分數也一樣。
Civility and respect can be used to boost an organization's performance. When my friend Doug Conant took over as CEO of Campbell's Soup Company in 2001, the company's market share had just dropped in half. Sales were declining, lots of people had just been laid off. A Gallup manager said it was the least engaged organization that they had surveyed. And as Doug drove up to work his first day, he noticed that the headquarters was surrounded by barbwire fence. There were guard towers in the parking lot. He said it looked like a minimum security prison. It felt toxic.
文明行為和尊重可以 提升組織的表現。 我的朋友道格拉斯科南特 於 2001 年接下 金寶湯公司執行長的位置, 當時該公司的市佔率 掉到只剩一半。 業績一直下降, 許多人被資遣。 一位蓋洛普的經理說, 這間公司是他們調查過 最沒有人願意投入的組織。 道格在第一天開車去上班, 他注意到總部大樓 被刺鐵絲網的柵欄圍住。 在停車場還設有警戒塔。 他說那裡看起來就像 一間低度安全管理監獄。 感覺很有害。
Within five years, Doug had turned things around. And within nine years, they were setting all-time performance records and racking up awards, including best place to work. How did he do it? On day one, Doug told employees that he was going to have high standards for performance, but they were going to do it with civility. He walked the talk, and he expected his leaders to. For Doug, it all came down to being tough-minded on standards and tenderhearted with people. For him, he said it was all about these touch points, or these daily interactions he had with employees, whether in the hallway, in the cafeteria or in meetings. And if he handled each touch point well, he'd make employees feel valued.
五年內,道格逆轉了局勢。 九年內,他們創下了 史上最佳表現的記錄, 還得了獎,包括最佳工作地點獎。 他怎麼辦到的? 第一天,道格就告訴員工, 對於大家的表現,他要設下高標準, 但他們會用文明的方式來做。 他說到做到, 且他也期望手下的領導者能做到。 對道格來說,重點就只在於 對於標準要很堅定, 對於人則要心軟。 對他來說,關鍵在於這些接觸點, 或說是他與員工的這些日常互動, 不論是在走廊上、 自助餐廳,或會議中。 如果他能把每個接觸點都處理好, 他就能讓員工感到被重視。
Another way that Doug made employees feel valued and showed them that he was paying attention is that he handwrote over 30,000 thank-you notes to employees. And this set an example for other leaders. Leaders have about 400 of these touch points a day. Most don't take long, less than two minutes each. The key is to be agile and mindful in each of these moments.
道格還有另一個舉動 讓員工感到被重視, 並讓員工知道他有在留心, 這舉動就是他手寫過 三萬多份感謝字條給員工。 這個做法為其他領導人 立下了榜樣。 領導人一天大約會有 四百個這類的接觸點。 大部分不用花很長的時間, 每次不用兩分鐘。 關鍵在於,在每個這樣的時刻 都要保持機敏且小心。
Civility lifts people. We'll get people to give more and function at their best if we're civil. Incivility chips away at people and their performance. It robs people of their potential, even if they're just working around it. What I know from my research is that when we have more civil environments, we're more productive, creative, helpful, happy and healthy.
文明的做法能鼓舞人。 如果我們用文明的方式, 我們能讓大家付出更多, 並做到最好。 不文明的方式會一點一點 消耗掉人以及他們的表現。 它會讓人失去潛能, 即使只是在周邊工作的人也一樣。 我從我的研究得知, 當我們有比較文明的環境, 我們就會比較有生產力跟創意、 比較會助人、比較健康快樂。
We can do better. Each one of us can be more mindful and can take actions to lift others up around us, at work, at home, online, in schools and in our communities. In every interaction, think: Who do you want to be?
我們能做得更好。 我們每個人都可以更留心, 可以採取行動, 鼓舞我們身邊的人, 不論是在工作上、在家、 在網路上、在學校裡, 和在我們的社區中。 在每一次互動中,都要想: 你想要成為什麼樣的人?
Let's put an end to incivility bug and start spreading civility. After all, it pays.
讓不文明的病菌就到此為止, 開始散播文明吧。 畢竟,文明是有好處的。
Thank you.
謝謝。
(Applause)
(掌聲)