Who do you want to be? It's a simple question, and whether you know it or not, you're answering it every day through your actions. This one question will define your professional success more than any other, because how you show up and treat people means everything. Either you lift people up by respecting them, making them feel valued, appreciated and heard, or you hold people down by making them feel small, insulted, disregarded or excluded. And who you choose to be means everything.
Ko želite da budete? Pitanje je prosto, i znali vi to ili ne, svaki dan svojim postupcima odgovarate na njega. Ovo pitanje će definisati vaš poslovni uspeh više nego bilo šta, jer mnogo znači kako se prikazujete i ophodite prema ljudima. Ili stimulišete ljude poštujući ih, čineći da osećaju da ih cenite, uvažavate i čujete, ili sputavate ljude čineći da se osećaju malo, uvređeno, zanemareno ili isključeno. Ono što izaberete da budete znači mnogo.
I study the effects of incivility on people. What is incivility? It's disrespect or rudeness. It includes a lot of different behaviors, from mocking or belittling someone to teasing people in ways that sting to telling offensive jokes to texting in meetings. And what's uncivil to one person may be absolutely fine to another. Take texting while someone's speaking to you. Some of us may find it rude, others may think it's absolutely civil. So it really depends. It's all in the eyes of the beholder and whether that person felt disrespected. We may not mean to make someone feel that way, but when we do, it has consequences.
Ja proučavam uticaj neučtivosti na ljude. Šta je neučtivost? To je nepoštovanje ili neljubaznost. Uključuje mnogo različitih ponašanja, od ruganja ili omalovažavanja nekoga, preko zadirkivanja ljudi toliko da zaboli i pričanja uvredljivih viceva, do kucanja poruka na sastancima. Ono što je neučtivo za jednu osobu može biti skroz normalno drugoj osobi. Na primer, kucanje poruka dok vam se neko obraća. Jednima je to nepristojno, drugima potpuno pristojno. Sve zavisi. Sve je u oku posmatrača i zavisi od toga da li se ta osoba oseća uvređeno. Možda ne želimo da se neko tako oseća, ali kada to učinimo, to ima posledice.
Over 22 years ago, I vividly recall walking into this stuffy hospital room. It was heartbreaking to see my dad, this strong, athletic, energetic guy, lying in the bed with electrodes strapped to his bare chest. What put him there was work-related stress. For over a decade, he suffered an uncivil boss. And for me, I thought he was just an outlier at that time. But just a couple years later, I witnessed and experienced a lot of incivility in my first job out of college. I spent a year going to work every day and hearing things from coworkers like, "Are you an idiot? That's not how it's done," and, "If I wanted your opinion, I'd ask."
Pre više od 22 godine, jasno se sećam kako ulazim u zagušljivu bolničku sobu. Bilo je srceparajuće videti mog tatu, snažnog, atletskog, energičnog čoveka, kako leži u krevetu sa elektrodama prikačenim na gole grudi. Dotle ga je doveo stres na poslu. Tokom više od decenije, trpeo je neučtivog šefa. Što se mene tiče, tada sam mislila da je on bio samo izolovani slučaj. Ali samo par godina kasnije, bila sam svedok i iskusila neučtivost na svom prvom poslu nakon fakulteta. Godinu dana sam išla na posao svaki dan slušajući od kolega stvari kao što su: „Jesi li ti idiot? Ne radi se to tako.“ „Da sam hteo tvoje mišljenje, pitao bih.“
So I did the natural thing. I quit, and I went back to grad school to study the effects of this. There, I met Christine Pearson. And she had a theory that small, uncivil actions can lead to much bigger problems like aggression and violence. We believed that incivility affected performance and the bottom line. So we launched a study, and what we found was eye-opening.
Uradila sam ono što je prirodno. Dala sam otkaz i vratila se na postdiplomske studije da ovo istražim. Tamo sam upoznala Kristinu Pirson. Ona je imala teoriju da male, neučtive radnje mogu dovesti do mnogo većih problema kao što su agresija i nasilje. Smatrali smo da neučtivost utiče na učinak i krajnji ishod. Pa smo pokrenuli studiju, a ono što smo saznali nam je otvorilo oči.
We sent a survey to business school alumni working in all different organizations. We asked them to write a few sentences about one experience where they were treated rudely, disrespectfully or insensitively, and to answer questions about how they reacted. One person told us about a boss that made insulting statements like, "That's kindergartner's work," and another tore up someone's work in front of the entire team. And what we found is that incivility made people less motivated: 66 percent cut back work efforts, 80 percent lost time worrying about what happened, and 12 percent left their job.
Poslali smo anketu diplomcima poslovne škole koji rade u različitim organizacijama. Tražili smo da napišu par rečenica o iskustvu kada je neko prema njima postupio neljubazno, bez poštovanja ili bezosećajno, i da odgovore na pitanja o tome kako su reagovali. Jedna osoba nam je pisala o šefu koji je imao uvredljive izjave kao što je: „Ovo kao da je predškolac uradio,“ a drugi je pocepao nečiji rad pred celim timom. Saznali smo da neučtivost čini ljude manje motivisanim: 66 procenata je imalo manji učinak na poslu, 80 procenata je gubilo vreme brinući o onome što se dogodilo, a 12 procenata je napustilo posao.
And after we published these results, two things happened. One, we got calls from organizations. Cisco read about these numbers, took just a few of these and estimated, conservatively, that incivility was costing them 12 million dollars a year.
Nakon što smo objavili ove rezultate, dogodile su se dve stvari. Prvo, pozivale su nas organizacije. Kompanija Sisko je pročitala ove brojke i samo na osnovu nekoliko njih pažljivo procenila da ih je neučtivost koštala 12 miliona dolara godišnje.
The second thing that happened was, we heard from others in our academic field who said, "Well, people are reporting this, but how can you really show it? Does people's performance really suffer?" I was curious about that, too. With Amir Erez, I compared those that experienced incivility to those that didn't experience incivility. And what we found is that those that experience incivility do actually function much worse.
Drugo, ljudi iz naših akademskih krugova su pitali: „Pa, dobili ste ove podatke, ali kako to zaista možete pokazati? Da li učinak ljudi stvarno trpi?“ I mene je to zanimalo. Sa Amirom Erezom, uporedila sam one koji su iskusili neučtivost sa onima koji nisu. Saznali smo da oni koji su iskusili neučtivost stvarno funkcionišu mnogo gore.
"OK," you may say. "This makes sense. After all, it's natural that their performance suffers." But what about if you're not the one who experiences it? What if you just see or hear it? You're a witness. We wondered if it affected witnesses, too.
„Okej“, mogli biste reći. „Ovo ima smisla. Uostalom, prirodno je da njihov učinak trpi.“ Ali šta ako niste vi tome izloženi? Šta ako vi to samo vidite ili čujete? Vi ste svedok. Pitali smo se da li to utiče i na svedoke.
So we conducted studies where five participants would witness an experimenter act rudely to someone who arrived late to the study. The experimenter said, "What is it with you? You arrive late, you're irresponsible. Look at you! How do you expect to hold a job in the real world?" And in another study in a small group, we tested the effects of a peer insulting a group member. Now, what we found was really interesting, because witnesses' performance decreased, too -- and not just marginally, quite significantly.
Pa smo sproveli studije u kojima pet učesnika svedoči nepristojnom ponašanju eksperimentatora prema nekome ko kasni na studiju. Eksperimentator je rekao: „Šta je sa tobom? Kasniš, neodgovoran si. Pogledaj se! Kako misliš da zadržiš posao u stvarnom svetu?“ A u drugoj studiji u maloj grupi, ispitivali smo uticaj kolege koji vređa člana grupe. Ono što smo saznali je stvarno zanimljivo, jer se učinak svedoka takođe pogoršao - i to ne samo marginalno, već značajno.
Incivility is a bug. It's contagious, and we become carriers of it just by being around it. And this isn't confined to the workplace. We can catch this virus anywhere -- at home, online, in schools and in our communities. It affects our emotions, our motivation, our performance and how we treat others. It even affects our attention and can take some of our brainpower. And this happens not only if we experience incivility or we witness it. It can happen even if we just see or read rude words. Let me give you an example of what I mean.
Neučtivost je virus. Zarazna je, i mi postajemo nosioci virusa čak i ako smo samo u njegovoj blizini. I to ne važi samo za radno mesto. Ovaj virus možemo zakačiti bilo gde - kod kuće, onlajn, u školama i u našim zajednicama. On utiče na naše emocije, motivaciju, učinak i kako tretiramo druge. Utiče čak i na pažnju i može umanjiti naše mentalne sposobnosti. Ovo se ne dešava samo ako iskusimo neučtivost ili ako joj svedočimo. Može se desiti čak i ako samo vidimo ili čujemo neljubazne reči. Daću vam primer da znate na šta mislim.
To test this, we gave people combinations of words to use to make a sentence. But we were very sneaky. Half the participants got a list with 15 words used to trigger rudeness: impolitely, interrupt, obnoxious, bother. Half the participants received a list of words with none of these rude triggers. And what we found was really surprising, because the people who got the rude words were five times more likely to miss information right in front of them on the computer screen. And as we continued this research, what we found is that those that read the rude words took longer to make decisions, to record their decisions, and they made significantly more errors. This can be a big deal, especially when it comes to life-and-death situations.
Da bismo ovo testirali, dali smo ljudima kombinacije reči da naprave rečenicu. Ali bili smo vrlo lukavi. Polovina učesnika je dobilla listu od 15 reči koje asociraju na neljubaznost: nepristojno, prekinuti, mrzak, nervirati. Polovina učesnika je dobila listu reči bez onih koje asociraju na neljubaznost. Ono što smo otkrili je vrlo iznenađujuće, jer su ljudi koji su dobili grube reči imali pet puta veće šanse da previde informaciju koja im je pred nosom na ekranu kompjutera. Kada smo nastavili istraživanje, otkrili smo da je onima koji su čitali grube reči trebalo više vremena da donesu odluke, da zabeleže svoje odluke, a napravili su i mnogo više grešaka. Ovo može biti važno, posebno kada se radi o životu ili smrti.
Steve, a physician, told me about a doctor that he worked with who was never very respectful, especially to junior staff and nurses. But Steve told me about this one particular interaction where this doctor shouted at a medical team. Right after the interaction, the team gave the wrong dosage of medication to their patient. Steve said the information was right there on the chart, but somehow everyone on the team missed it. He said they lacked the attention or awareness to take it into account. Simple mistake, right? Well, that patient died.
Stiv, lekar, mi je pričao o lekaru koji je s njim radio i koji nikad nije imao poštovanja, posebno prema mlađem osoblju i sestrama. Ali Stiv mi je ispričao o konkretnoj interakciji kada je ovaj doktor vikao na medicinski tim. Odmah nakon te interakcije, tim je dao pogrešnu dozu leka svom pacijentu. Stiv je rekao da se informacija nalazila u kartonu, ali svi iz tima su je nekako prevideli. Rekao je da im je manjkalo pažnje ili svesti da to uzmu u obzir. Obična greška, zar ne? E, pa, taj pacijent je umro.
Researchers in Israel have actually shown that medical teams exposed to rudeness perform worse not only in all their diagnostics, but in all the procedures they did. This was mainly because the teams exposed to rudeness didn't share information as readily, and they stopped seeking help from their teammates. And I see this not only in medicine but in all industries.
Istraživači u Izraelu su zapravo pokazali da medicinski timovi izloženi neučtivosti imaju lošiji učinak, ne samo u dijagnostici, već i u svim procedurama koje vrše. Ovo je uglavnom zato što timovi izloženi neučtivosti nisu tako rado delili informacije i prestali su da traže pomoć od svojih kolega. Ovo nisam primetila samo u medicini, već i svim drugim branšama.
So if incivility has such a huge cost, why do we still see so much of it? I was curious, so we surveyed people about this, too. The number one reason is stress. People feel overwhelmed. The other reason that people are not more civil is because they're skeptical and even concerned about being civil or appearing nice. They believe they'll appear less leader-like. They wonder: Do nice guys finish last? Or in other words: Do jerks get ahead? (Laughter) It's easy to think so, especially when we see a few prominent examples that dominate the conversation.
Pa ako neučtivost ima toliku cenu, zašto je i dalje toliko ima? Bila sam radoznala, pa smo anketirali ljude i o ovome. Najčešći uzrok je stres. Ljudi se osećaju preopterećeno. Drugi razlog što ljudi nisu učtiviji je to što su skeptični i čak i zabrinuti da budu učtivi ili fini. Oni veruju da će delovati manje sposobno da budu vođe. Pitaju se da li fini ljudi završe na poslednjem mestu. Drugim rečima: da li kreteni napreduju? (Smeh) Lako je to pomisliti, pogotovo kada vidimo par istaknutih primera koji dominiraju razgovorom.
Well, it turns out, in the long run, they don't. There's really rich research on this by Morgan McCall and Michael Lombardo when they were at the Center for Creative Leadership. They found that the number one reason tied to executive failure was an insensitive, abrasive or bullying style. There will always be some outliers that succeed despite their incivility. Sooner or later, though, most uncivil people sabotage their success. For example, with uncivil executives, it comes back to hurt them when they're in a place of weakness or they need something. People won't have their backs.
E, pa, ispostavlja se da, na duže staze, ne napreduju. Postoji obilno istraživanje o tome koje su sproveli Morgan Makol i Majkl Lombardo u Centru za kreativno liderstvo. Otkrili su da je najvažniji razlog vezan za neuspeh rukovodilaca bio bezosećajan, grub ili nasilan stil ponašanja. Uvek će biti nekih izuzetaka koji će uspeti uprkos neučtivosti. Ipak, pre ili kasnije, većina neučtivih ljudi sabotiraju svoj uspeh. Na primer, neučtivim rukovodiocima se to obije o glavu u trenutku kada se osećaju nemoćno ili kada im nešto treba. Ljudi im neće čuvati leđa.
But what about nice guys? Does civility pay? Yes, it does. And being civil doesn't just mean that you're not a jerk. Not holding someone down isn't the same as lifting them up. Being truly civil means doing the small things, like smiling and saying hello in the hallway, listening fully when someone's speaking to you. Now, you can have strong opinions, disagree, have conflict or give negative feedback civilly, with respect. Some people call it "radical candor," where you care personally, but you challenge directly. So yes, civility pays. In a biotechnology firm, colleagues and I found that those that were seen as civil were twice as likely to be viewed as leaders, and they performed significantly better. Why does civility pay? Because people see you as an important -- and a powerful -- unique combination of two key characteristics: warm and competent, friendly and smart. In other words, being civil isn't just about motivating others. It's about you. If you're civil, you're more likely to be seen as a leader. You'll perform better, and you're seen as warm and competent.
A šta je sa finim ljudima? Da li se učtivost isplati? Isplati se. Biti učtiv ne znači samo da nisi kreten. Kada nekog ne sputavaš nije isto kao kada ga stimulišeš. Biti zaista učtiv znači činiti sitnice, da se nasmešite nekome i pozdravite ga u prolazu, da zaista slušate nekoga kada vam se obraća. Možete imati jako mišljenje, neslaganja, ući u konflikt ili učtivo dati negativan komentar, sa poštovanjem. Neki to zovu radikalnom iskrenošću, kada lično brinete, ali direktno osporavate. Tako da se učtivost isplati. U biotehnološkoj firmi, kolege i ja smo otkrili da su oni koji su smatrani učtivim imali duplo veće šanse da budu smatrani vođama, i obavljali su funkciju znatno bolje. Zašto se učtivost isplati? Jer ljudi vide u vama važnu i moćnu jedinstvenu kombinaciju dve ključne osobine: srdačan i sposoban, druželjubiv i pametan. Drugim rečima, učtivost ne znači samo motivisanje drugih. Do vas je. Ako ste učtivi, veće šanse su da vas smatraju liderom. Imaćete bolji učinak i smatraće vas srdačnim i sposobnim.
But there's an even bigger story about how civility pays, and it ties to one of the most important questions around leadership: What do people want most from their leaders? We took data from over 20,000 employees around the world, and we found the answer was simple: respect. Being treated with respect was more important than recognition and appreciation, useful feedback, even opportunities for learning. Those that felt respected were healthier, more focused, more likely to stay with their organization and far more engaged.
Postoji još važniji razlog zašto se učtivost isplati, i vezan je za jedno od najvažnijih pitanja o liderstvu: Šta ljudi najviše žele od svojih lidera? Prikupili smo podatke od preko 20 000 zaposlenih širom sveta, i otkrili smo da je odgovor jednostavan: poštovanje. Biti poštovan je važnije od priznanja i uvažavanja, korisnih povratnih informacija, čak i prilika za učenje. Oni koji su se osećali poštovano su bili zdraviji, fokusiraniji, imali su veće šanse da ostanu u organizaciji i bili su znatno angažovaniji.
So where do you start? How can you lift people up and make people feel respected? Well, the nice thing is, it doesn't require a huge shift. Small things can make a big difference. I found that thanking people, sharing credit, listening attentively, humbly asking questions, acknowledging others and smiling has an impact.
Pa, kako početi? Kako stimulisati i poštovati ljude? Pa, dobra stvar je što to ne zahteva veliku promenu. Male stvari mnogo znače. Otkrila sam da zahvaljivanje ljudima, pripisivanje zasluga, pažljivo slušanje, skromno postavljanje pitanja, prihvatanje drugih i upućivanje osmeha ima uticaja.
Patrick Quinlan, former CEO of Ochsner Health [System], told me about the effects of their 10-5 way, where if you're within 10 feet of someone, you make eye contact and smile, and if you're within five feet, you say hello. He explained that civility spread, patient satisfaction scores rose, as did patient referrals.
Patrik Kvinlan, bivši direktor Zdravstvenog sistema Ošner, pričao mi je o efektima njihovog sistema 3-1.5, prema kome, ako ste udaljeni od nekoga tri metra, uspostavićete kontakt očima i nasmejati se, a ako ste udaljeni 1,5 metar, reći ćete zdravo. Objasnio je da se učtivost proširila, pacijenti su bili zadovoljniji, a i više su ih preporučivali drugima.
Civility and respect can be used to boost an organization's performance. When my friend Doug Conant took over as CEO of Campbell's Soup Company in 2001, the company's market share had just dropped in half. Sales were declining, lots of people had just been laid off. A Gallup manager said it was the least engaged organization that they had surveyed. And as Doug drove up to work his first day, he noticed that the headquarters was surrounded by barbwire fence. There were guard towers in the parking lot. He said it looked like a minimum security prison. It felt toxic.
Učtivost i poštovanje mogu se koristiti da bi se povećao učinak organizacije. Kada je moj prijatelj Dag Konant postao direktor kompanije „Kembelova supa“ 2001, tržišni udeo firme je bio opao za pola. Prodaja je bila u opadanju, mnogo ljudi je bilo otpušteno. Menadžer Galupa je rekao da je to najneaktivnija firma koju su anketirali. Vozeći se na posao prvi dan, Dag je primetio da je sedište firme okruženo bodljikavom žicom. Na parkingu su bile stražarske kule. Rekao je da je ličilo na zatvor sa minimalnim obezbeđenjem. Delovalo je toksično.
Within five years, Doug had turned things around. And within nine years, they were setting all-time performance records and racking up awards, including best place to work. How did he do it? On day one, Doug told employees that he was going to have high standards for performance, but they were going to do it with civility. He walked the talk, and he expected his leaders to. For Doug, it all came down to being tough-minded on standards and tenderhearted with people. For him, he said it was all about these touch points, or these daily interactions he had with employees, whether in the hallway, in the cafeteria or in meetings. And if he handled each touch point well, he'd make employees feel valued.
Za pet godina, Dag je promenio stvari. A za devet, postigli su najbolji učinak i skupili nagrade, čak i onu za najbolje radno mesto. Kako je to uradio? Prvog dana, rekao je zaposlenima da će postaviti visoke standarde učinka, ali će ih postići učtivošću. Dao je primer svojim ponašanjem, a isto je očekivao i od svojih lidera. Za Daga, poenta je bila da bude čvrsto orijentisan na standarde i meka srca sa ljudima. Za njega se sve svodilo na dodirne tačke, ili svakodnevne interakcije koje je imao sa zaposlenima, bilo da su se odvijale u hodniku, kafeteriji ili na sastancima. Ako sve to sprovede dobro, zaposleni će se osećati cenjeno.
Another way that Doug made employees feel valued and showed them that he was paying attention is that he handwrote over 30,000 thank-you notes to employees. And this set an example for other leaders. Leaders have about 400 of these touch points a day. Most don't take long, less than two minutes each. The key is to be agile and mindful in each of these moments.
Dag je takođe davao zaposlenima osećaj da ih ceni i pokazivao je da obraća pažnju tako što je ručno ispisao preko 30 000 zahvalnica zaposlenima. Tako je dao primer drugim liderima. Lideri dnevno imaju oko 400 dodirnih tačaka. Većina ih ne traje dugo, manje od dva minuta svaka. Ključno je da budete agilni i obzirni u svakom od ovih momenata.
Civility lifts people. We'll get people to give more and function at their best if we're civil. Incivility chips away at people and their performance. It robs people of their potential, even if they're just working around it. What I know from my research is that when we have more civil environments, we're more productive, creative, helpful, happy and healthy.
Učtivost stimuliše ljude. Ljudi će dati više i raditi bolje ako su učtiviji. Neučtivost oduzima od ljudi i njihovog učinka. Umanjuje njihov potencijal, čak i ako su samo u njenoj blizini. Ono što znam iz svojih istraživanja je da, što nam je sredina učtivija, mi smo produktivniji, kreativniji, korisniji, srećniji i zdraviji.
We can do better. Each one of us can be more mindful and can take actions to lift others up around us, at work, at home, online, in schools and in our communities. In every interaction, think: Who do you want to be?
Možemo bolje. Svako može da bude obzirniji i može da preduzme nešto kako bi stimulisao druge oko sebe, na poslu, kod kuće, onlajn, u školama i u našim zajednicama. U svakoj interakciji, zapitajte se: ko želite da budete?
Let's put an end to incivility bug and start spreading civility. After all, it pays.
Zaustavimo virus neučtivosti i počnimo da širimo učtivost. Uostalom, isplati se.
Thank you.
Hvala vam.
(Applause)
(Aplauz)