You know what's a lot harder than it seems like it should be? Actually feeling alive. And what I mean by that is that we are all constantly doing, or, at least, we're constantly scrolling. But we're not necessarily living.
你知道什么事做起来比看起来难吗? 就是感受到自己还活着。 我这么说的意思是 我们都在不间断的行动, 或者至少我们在不停转。 但是我们不一定在生活着。
You know, we keep ourselves busy to the point of exhaustion, but we're also languishing. We feel a little bid dead inside. And I think we know that, on some level. I think that's part of the reason we keep ourselves so busy and distracted to begin with. But we don't know what to do about it.
你知道的,我们一直忙到精疲力竭, 但是我们也在变衰弱, 觉得内心有点死气沉沉。 我想在某种程度上,我们知道这一点。 我认为这是这就是· 我们一开始让自己如此忙碌 和心烦的一部分原因。 但是我们不知道怎么去应对它。
So I'm here to tell you I figured out what to do about it. We need to have more fun.
所以我在这告诉你, 我知道该怎么做。 我们需要寻找更多的乐趣。
(Laughter)
(笑声)
(Cheers and applause)
(欢呼声和掌声)
So you might think that you're already having plenty of fun, and that's because in our everyday speech, we often use the word "fun" to describe anything we do with our leisure time, even if it's not actually enjoyable, and, in fact, a waste of time. So for example, we scroll through social media "for fun," even though doing so often makes us feel bad about, like, kind of everything. Or we'll say, "That was so fun. We should do that again soon" --
你可能会认为你已经乐在其中了。 那是因为在日常交流中, 我们常用“乐趣”这个词来概括 我们在空闲时间做的所有事。 即使这些事情不全是充满乐趣的, 而且其实还有点儿浪费时间。 例如,我们滑动社媒页面 来“寻求乐趣” 尽管经常这样做会让我们感觉不好, 好像什么事都不太好。 或者我们会说,“这太有趣了, 我们应该什么时候再做一次。”
(Laughter)
(笑声)
... in response to things that weren't that fun and that we don't want to do again, ever.
...来应对那些不那么有趣的, 并且我们以后再也不想做了的事情。
(Laughter)
(笑声)
But it's not really our fault that we're a little bit sloppy about how we use the word "fun," because even the dictionary doesn't get it quite right. It says that fun is amusement or enjoyment, or lighthearted pleasure. It's something for kids to have in play areas. It makes it sound like it's frivolous and optional.
在对“乐趣”这个词的使用上, 我们是有点草率, 但那并不是我们的错, 因为字典对这个词的定义也不是很正确。 它说乐趣是娱乐或享受 或轻松快乐。 这是给孩子们在游乐区玩的东西。 听起来无聊可笑,可有可无。
But if you think back on your own memories that stand out to you as having truly been fun -- and I really encourage you to do this -- the memories that you would describe as -- and forgive me for scientific terminology -- "so fun" -- you're going to notice there's something much deeper going on. I've collected thousands of these stories from people all around the world, and I can tell you it's amazing, because when people recount the memories in which they had the most fun, they tell you about some of the most joyful and treasured memories of their lives.
但是你回想自己的经历, 记忆力那些真正充满乐趣的经历, 我非常鼓励你们回想, 那些你描述为, 请原谅我的科学术语 “非常有趣”的记忆, 你会注意到还有更深层的东西。 我从世界各地的人们那里 收集到了上千段这样的故事, 令人诧异的是, 当人们回忆自己最有趣的经历时, 他们告诉你一些在他们的生命中 最欢乐最珍贵的回忆。
So in reality, fun is not just lighthearted pleasure. It's not just for kids, and it is definitely not frivolous. Instead, fun is the secret to feeling alive.
所以其实,乐趣并不仅仅是 轻松愉快的, 它不只是属于孩子的, 并且乐趣也绝对不是无聊的。 相反,乐趣是感受活着的奥秘。
So today, I want to propose to you a new, more precise definition of what fun is. I want to reveal some of the ways in which it is astonishingly good for us, and I want to give you all some suggestions for things you can do starting right now to experience its power for yourself.
所以今天,我想给乐趣 一个全新的、更准确的定义。 我想揭示它在某些方面 对我们有惊人的好处, 并且我想给大家一些建议, 对于你能做的事情, 现在就行动起来亲身体验它的力量。
So the first thing we need to start with is the fact that fun is a feeling, and it's not an activity. And that's important, because a lot of times, when I ask people what's fun, they'll respond with a list of activities that they enjoy. You know, they'll say, "Dancing is fun," or "Skiing is fun," or, I don't know, "Pickleball is fun." Everyone seems to think that pickleball is fun.
我们首先要做的是 乐趣是一种感受,而不是一种活动 这很重要 因为在一些时间我问人们什么是乐趣 他们会列出一他们享受的活动的清单 你知道,他们会说,“跳舞很有趣” 或者“滑雪很有趣”或者, “匹克球很有趣” 所有人都会认为匹克球很有趣
(Cheers and laughter)
(欢呼声和笑声)
And sure, pickleball can be fun, but we've all had experiences where something's off, and an activity that seems like it would be fun doesn't end up feeling fun. And then on the flip side, we've had experiences where something that doesn't seem like it'll be fun at all ends up feeling ridiculously fun. There's an element of serendipity. But when people do have fun, when they experience this feeling, it's actually very easy to recognize, because people who are having fun look like they're being illuminated from within.
当然,匹克球很有趣 但是我们都有过不正常的经历 一项看起来很有趣的经历 不会感觉有趣 另一方面 我们有过一些看起来 一点都不有趣的经历 最后感觉非常有趣 这是一种机缘巧合。 但当人们真的很开心的时候 当他们通过行动来感受的时候 它其实很容易去识别 因为那些快乐的人们 看起来他们是被从内部照亮的
So, for example, here is me and my husband having fun together. Here are some presidents having fun together.
所以,举个例子 这是我和我丈夫一起玩 下面是几位总统一起玩的很开心
(Laughter) Here’s Archbishop Desmond Tutu and the Dalai Lama having fun together.
(笑声) 这是大主教德斯蒙德·图图 和达赖喇嘛在一起玩耍
(Cheers and laughter)
(欢呼声和笑声)
Actually, those two seemed like they were very often, even constantly ...
事实上,那两个人经常...
(Laughter)
(笑声)
... having fun together.
...一起玩乐
(Laughter)
(笑声)
And as you can see in these photographs, true fun produces this visceral sense of lightness and joy. It's radiant. In fact, when I asked my daughter, when she was about five years old, what color fun would be, she said "sunshine."
并且大家看图片中 真正的乐趣会产生这种 发自内心的轻松和喜悦的感觉。 它是光芒四射的 实际上,当我问我五岁的女儿, 快乐的颜色是什么 她说“是阳光的颜色”
So what is this sunshine? You know? What is this feeling that we call "fun"? When people tell me their stories about fun, it's really interesting, because the details are all different, and often quite mundane, but the energy running through them is the same. There were three factors that are consistently present, to the point that I believe they constitute a new definition, one that is a lot more accurate than what's in the dictionary. And those three factors are playfulness, connection and flow.
为什么是阳光的颜色呢 你知道我们称乐趣的感觉是什么吗? 当人们告诉我他们快乐的故事 是真的有趣,因为细节各不相同 通常很平凡 但是贯穿他们的能量是相同的 有三个因素一直都在 以至于我认为它构成了一个新的定义 这个比字典里的定义准确得多 这三个因素分别是 趣味性、关联性和、心得
So by playfulness, I do not mean you have to play games, or, God forbid, make believe. I just mean having a lighthearted attitude of doing things for the sake of doing them and not caring too much about the outcome. Letting go of perfectionism. When we have fun, our guard is down, and we're not taking ourselves too seriously.
趣味性呢 我不是说你要玩游戏 或者,但愿不要,相信这样 我的意思是要有轻松愉快的态度 为了做事而做事 也不太在乎结果。 放弃完美主义 当我们开心的时候, 我们会放松警惕, 我们也没把自己当回事
Connection refers to the feeling of having a special, shared experience. And I do think it's possible, in some circumstances, to have fun alone, and for this feeling of connection to be with yourself or the surroundings, or the activity. But in the majority of stories that people tell me about their peak fun memories, another person is involved. And that's true even for introverts.
联系是指拥有一种特殊的、 共同的经历的感觉。 我认为在某些情况下,这是可能的 独自享受乐趣, 为了这种与自己或周围环境相联系 的感觉或者活动 但人们告诉我大多数的事情中 关于他们快乐的回忆 其他人也会参与 即使是内向的人也是如此
And then flow is the state where we are so engaged and focused on whatever we're doing that we can even lose track of time. You can think about an athlete in the middle of a game, or a musician playing a piece of music. It's when we're in the zone. It's possible to be in flow and not have fun, like if you're arguing, but you cannot have fun if you're not in flow.
心流使我们如此投入和专注的状态 或者不管我们做什么 我们甚至会忘记时间 你可以想象一名正在运动的运动员 或者正在演奏音乐的音乐家 当我们处于状态时 处于心流状态也会不开心 就像你如果正在生气 但如果你不处于心流状态, 你就无法获得乐趣
So playfulness, connection and flow all feel great on their own. But when we experience all three at once, something magical happens. We have fun. And that doesn't just feel good, it is good for us. In fact, fun does so many amazingly good things for us that I personally believe that fun is not just the result of human thriving, it's a cause.
所以,玩耍、联系和心流本身就很好。 但当我们同时经历这三种情况时 一些神奇的事发生了 我们很快乐 这不仅仅是感觉很好, 它我们是有好处的 事实上,乐趣给我们带来了 很多奇妙的好处 我个人认为乐趣不仅仅是 人类繁荣的结果, 这就是原因
So, for example, fun is energizing. When people tell me their stories about fun, they glow. It is like a fire has been lit inside of them, and the energy and the warmth that they give off is contagious. You know, so much of life drains us, but fun fills us up. Fun also makes us present. A lot of us put a lot of work into trying to be more present -- we do yoga classes, we meditate, and that is all great, but the fact that fun is a flow state means that when we are having fun, we simply are present. There's no other way for it to happen.
例如,快乐是激励 当人们告诉我他们感到 快乐的事,他们都在发光 就像有一团火在他们身体里面燃烧 他们散发出来的能量和热量 还可以感染别人 你知道的,生活让我们精疲力竭 但是乐趣填充在其中 乐趣也让我们活在当下 我们中的很多人都花了很多精力 去尝试更多地活在当下 我们上瑜伽课, 我们冥想,这些都很棒 但事实上,乐趣是一种心流状态, 这意味着当我们享受乐趣时 我们只是存在 没有别的办法让它发生
Fun also unites us. We live in a really polarized world, and as we all know, there's a lot of very serious problems. But when we have fun with people, we don't see them as different political parties, or nationalities or religions. We connect with them as human beings, and it's worth noting that that is the first step in being able to work together to solve those problems.
快乐使我们联系在一起 我们住在一个两极分化的世界里 我们都知道,有一些非常严重的问题 但是当我们和他人一起快乐的时候 我们不认为他们是不同的政党 或者不一样的国籍,不一样的宗教 我们以人类的身份和他们联系 值得注意的是,这是第一步 能够一起合作解决这些问题
Fun also makes us healthier. Being lonely and stressed out, as many of us have been for the past two years, causes hormonal changes in our bodies that increase our risks for disease. But when we have fun, we're relaxed and we're more socially connected, both of which have the opposite effect. So, kind of blows my mind every time I think about it this way, but having fun is a health intervention.
快乐使我们更健康 孤独和压力大 就像我们在过去的两年里 这会导致我们体内激素的变化, 提高我们患疾病的危险 但是当我们快乐的时候 我们很放松, 我们的社交联系更紧密, 这两者的作用是相反的 每次我这么想都让我大吃一惊, 但玩得开心是一种健康干预。
And then, lastly, fun is joyful. You know, we all so desperately want to be happy. We read books about happiness, we download apps about happiness, but when we are in a moment of having fun, we are happy. So it makes me think that, perhaps, the secret to long-term happiness is just to have more everyday moments of fun.
最后,乐趣是快乐的 你知道,我们都很渴望快乐 我们读关于快乐的书 我们下载关于快乐的软件 但是当我们在一个瞬间 感受到快乐时,我们很快乐 所以这使我想到另外的 长期保持快乐的秘诀 是每天都有快乐的瞬间
So how do we do that? How do we have more fun? Well, to start with, do not take the suggestions you'll find in magazine articles about how to have more fun. I looked at some of these myself, and I found suggestions that include -- and I'm not making these up -- "roast a turkey."
所以我们该怎么做呢 我们该如何拥有更多的快乐呢 我们开始吧 不要采纳你在杂质文章中 关于如何快乐的观点 我自己看了其中一些 我发现其中的一些观点 这不是我编的 烤一只火鸡
(Laughter)
(笑声)
"Put together an altar to loved ones who have passed."
为失去的亲人做一做祭坛
(Laughter)
(笑声)
“Watch a documentary about climate change.”
看一部气候挑战的纪录片
(Laughter)
(笑声)
And my personal favorite, "Adorn your table with gourds."
还有我最喜欢的 用葫芦装饰你的桌子
(Laughter)
(笑声)
Those are not good suggestions. Instead, the most effective thing you can do to have more fun is to focus on its ingredients, by which I mean, do everything you can to fill your life with more moments of playfulness, connection and flow. So here are some ideas for how to do so. To start with, reduce distractions in order to increase flow. Anything that distracts you is going to kick you out of flow and prevent you from having fun. And what's the number one source of distraction for most of us, these days? Oh, thank you.
这些都不是比较好的建议 另外,你能获得乐趣最有效的 我想说的就是专注于食材, 尽你所能让你的生活充满乐趣 关联性和心流 这有一些主意来告诉你怎么做 首先,减少干扰以增加心流 任何让你分心的事都会让你离开心流 也会让你不开心 最让人分心的是什么 向我们这样的这几天吗? 噢,谢谢你
(Laughs)
(笑声)
It was rhetorical, but yes, your phones.
是有点夸张,但是是的,你的手机。
(Laughs)
(笑声)
I wrote a book called "How to Break Up With Your Phone," so I have strong feelings about this, but I can guarantee you that you are not going to have fun if you're constantly on your phone. So today, I want to challenge you to keep your phone out of your hand as much as possible, so you can take me up on my second suggestion, which is to increase connection by interacting more with other human beings in real life. Now, I know that one of the main reasons we're constantly on our phones is specifically to avoid having to spend time and interact with other human beings in real life.
我写了一本书 叫做“怎么离开你的手机” 所以我对此有强烈的感觉 但是我能保证如果你不断的沉迷手机 你并不会开心 所以今天,我想要尽可能的 改变你一直把手机握在手里的习惯 所以你可以采纳我的第二个建议 这是为了增加联系 通过与现实生活中的其他人 进行更多的互动。 现在,我知道其中主要原因之一就是 我们不断地使用手机 是为了避免浪费时间吗 在现实中都不和他人互动
(Laughter)
(笑声)
So I want to assure you that it is worth it, and it is not as hard as it might seem. So here's how you do it. You start by making eye contact with someone. Like, look them in the eye, don't look in the middle of their forehead, where the camera would be on a Zoom call.
所以我想向你们保证,这是值得的 它没有它看起来那么难 你可以像这样做 你从和某人用眼眸交流开始 就像,看着他们的眼睛 不要看他们额头的中间 摄像头会出现在放大的电通话中
(Laughter)
(笑声)
And you say “Hello.” And if that goes well, you can introduce yourself. And if that goes well, maybe you can ask them a question, something that's thought-provoking, but not overly personal or threatening, like "What's something that fascinates you?" Or "What's one thing that delighted you today?" And you might be amazed by how good just one little moment of connection can make you feel.
然后你说“你好” 如果一切顺利,你可以做自我介绍 如果还一切顺利 可能你可以问他们一个问题, 一个令人发省的问题 但不要过于个性化或具有威胁性 例如“什么让你着迷” 又或者“今天有什么事让你高兴” 你可能会惊讶地发现, 仅仅是短暂的沟通就有多么美好 可以让你有感觉
And if you do find someone to connect with, maybe ask them to join you in trying my third suggestion, which is to increase playfulness by finding opportunities to rebel. Now I am not talking about James Dean-level of rebellion. I'm talking about playful deviance. I'm talking about finding ways to break the rules of responsible adulthood, and giving yourself permission to get a kick out of your own life. One person told me that some of the most fun she'd had in recent memory, happened on a Friday morning, when she and some of her friends ditched their work and their childcare responsibilities, tucked flasks into their purses and snuck out to a 10:30am showing of the movie "Bad Moms."
如果你找到了可以和你交流的人 也许可以让他们和你一起尝试 我的第三个建议, 也就是通过寻找反叛的机会 来增加趣味性。 现在我不是在说 詹姆斯·迪恩级别的叛乱。 我说的是好玩的异常行为 我说的是想办法打破常规 想办法打破常规的负责的成年人 允许自己在自己的生活中寻求乐趣 有一个人和我说 她记忆里觉得最快乐的一些事 发生早周五的早晨 当她和她的朋友放下工作 和照顾孩子的任务后 把烧瓶放到钱包里 偷偷去看了 上午10点半的电影《坏妈妈》
(Laughter)
(笑声)
So lastly, here's one more thing that you can do today to start having more fun.
最后,还有一件你今天可以做的事 开始更多的乐趣
[Roast a Turkey] I am just kidding.
(烤火鸡) 我只是开玩笑
(Laughter)
(笑声)
Prioritize it. That might sound totally obvious, but one of the main reasons we're not having enough fun is that we're not making it a priority. Our fun is always at the bottom of the list, and it can't speak up for itself. So I'm not suggesting that you take out your calendar and make an entry that says: “From 4 to 6pm on Saturday, I shall have fun.” That is a guaranteed way to not have fun. But if you know you consistently have fun when you spend time with a particular person, make a point to spend time with that person. If you know there's an activity that really does often generate playful connected flow for you, carve out time for it in your schedule. Treat fun as if it is important. Because it is. I've been doing this myself for a couple of years now, and it's amazing to see how many areas of my life fun has touched. I'm more creative and more productive, I'm more resilient. I laugh more. Making sure that I'm having enough fun has made me a better partner, a better parent and a better friend. And it has convinced me of something that I very much hope I can convince you of as well, which is that my daughter was right. Fun is sunshine. It's a distillation of life's energy. And the more often we experience it, the more we will feel like we're actually alive.
优先考虑 这听起来是显而易见的 但是我们玩的不够开心的主要原因之一 是我们没有把它放到首要位置上 我们的快乐只是清单上的一点 并且它不能体现出自己 所以我并不是建议你 拿出日历做一个记录 写着“周六从下午四点到六点 我要寻求快乐” 这样肯定不会有什么乐趣 但是如果你知道你一直都会很开心 当你和一个特定的人待在一起的时候 花点时间和那个人在一起 如果你知道一些活动 这真的经常会为你产生有趣的连接心流, 在你的日程表中为它留出时间 把乐趣当做很重要的事情 因为它就是 我自己这样做已经很多年了 我很惊讶我的乐趣已经 渗透到了很多领域 我更有创造力,更有效率, 我做人也更圆润了 我笑的更多了 确保我有足够的乐趣 让我成为了更好的伴侣, 一个更好的亲人和一个更好的朋友 它也让我信服了很多事情 我非常希望 我也能说服你, 我女儿说的是对的 快乐就是阳光的颜色 这是生命能量的升华 我们这样做的更多 我们就更能感觉到我们真正的活着
Thank you.
谢谢
(Cheers and applause)
(欢呼声和掌声)