When I was a kid, I was obsessed with the Guinness Book of World Records, and I really wanted to set a world record myself. But there was just one small problem: I had absolutely no talent. So I decided to set a world record in something that demanded absolutely no skill at all. I decided to set a world record in crawling.
我小的時候曾著迷於金氏世界紀錄, 而且我非常希望 能夠創一個世界紀錄, 但有個小問題: 我沒有任何才能。 所以我決定創一個 不需要任何技巧的世界紀錄。 我決定挑戰: 爬行。
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
Now, the record at the time was 12 and a half miles, and for some reason, this seemed totally manageable.
當時爬行的紀錄是 20.1 公里, 不知為何, 我覺得自己完全可以達成。
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
I recruited my friend Anne, and together we decided, we didn't even need to train.
我約了我的朋友:安, 我們一致認為: 我們根本不需要什麽訓練。
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
And on the day of our record attempt, we put furniture pads on the outside of our good luck jeans and we set off, and right away, we were in trouble, because the denim was against our skin and it began to chafe, and soon our knees were being chewed up. Hours in, it began to rain. Then, Anne dropped out. Then, it got dark. Now, by now, my knees were bleeding through my jeans, and I was hallucinating from the cold and the pain and the monotony. And to give you an idea of the suffer-fest that I was undergoing, the first lap around the high school track took 10 minutes. The last lap took almost 30.
在我們嘗試的那天, 我們將家具保護墊貼在牛仔褲外 就出發了, 然而我們馬上就遇到困難, 因為牛仔褲緊貼著皮膚, 造成了擦傷, 不久後我們的膝蓋就被磨爛了。 幾小時後, 開始下雨了。 安,她放棄了。 然後,天也黑了。 我的牛仔褲沾滿了 膝蓋摩擦所流出的血, 當時的低溫、疼痛、單調的動作, 讓我神遊到不知道魂跑去哪了。 讓我再說明一下當時承受的痛苦, 繞着高中操場的第一圈, 只花了我 10 分鐘。 而最後一圈花了我快 30 分鐘。
After 12 hours of crawling, I stopped, and I had gone eight and a half miles. So I was short of the 12-and-a-half-mile record.
就在爬了 12 小時後, 我停下了, 結果我只爬了 13.68 公里。 總計下來還差 6.44 公里 才能達到紀錄。
Now, for many years, I thought this was a story of abject failure, but today I see it differently, because when I was attempting the world record, I was doing three things. I was getting outside my comfort zone, I was calling upon my resilience, and I was finding confidence in myself and my own decisions. I didn't know it then, but those are not the attributes of failure. Those are the attributes of bravery.
有很多年,我一直認為 這是嚴重失敗的經驗, 但現在,我不這麼認為, 因為當我嘗試挑戰金氏世界紀錄時, 我同時也在做三件事。 我在離開我的舒適圈, 我在挑戰我的韌性, 我在找尋自信,不管是對自己 還是對我下的決定。 我當時還不了解, 那些並不是失敗。 而是勇氣的象徵。
Now, in 1989, at the age of 26, I became a San Francisco firefighter, and I was the 15th woman in a department of 1,500 men.
1989 年,我 26 歲, 我在舊金山當消防員, 在有 1500 個男人的消防局裡, 我是第 15 位女性。
(Applause)
(掌聲)
And as you can imagine, when I arrived there were many doubts about whether we could do the job. So even though I was a 5'10", 150-pound collegiate rower, and someone who could endure 12 hours of searing knee pain --
你能想像,我到職的時候, 有很多人懷疑我們能不能勝任。 即使我 178 公分高,68 公斤重, 在大學時擔任划船手, 又能夠承受 12 小時的膝蓋疼痛——
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
I knew I still had to prove my strength and fitness.
我知道,我還是得證明自己的能力。
So one day a call came in for a fire, and sure enough, when my engine group pulled up, there was black smoke billowing from a building off an alleyway. And I was with a big guy named Skip, and he was on the nozzle, and I was right behind, and it was a typical sort of fire. It was smoky, it was hot, and all of a sudden, there was an explosion, and Skip and I were blown backwards, my mask was knocked sideways, and there was this moment of confusion. And then I picked myself up, I groped for the nozzle, and I did what a firefighter was supposed to do: I lunged forward, opened up the water and I tackled the fire myself. The explosion had been caused by a water heater, so nobody was hurt, and ultimately it was not a big deal, but later Skip came up to me and said, "Nice job, Caroline," in this surprised sort of voice.
有一天有人通報火災, 當然,我們抵達的時候, 在小巷裡,黑煙從大樓竄出。 我跟叫做史吉普的壯漢一起, 他握著噴水口,我站在後面, 這是場普通的火災。 很多煙,很熱, 但突然間, 爆炸了, 我跟史吉普被震得後退, 我的面罩被震偏了, 那時有一剎那的困惑。 但我重振精神, 抓起水管, 做了消防員應該做的事: 我往前衝, 打開水管, 獨自解決了這場火災。 爆炸是由熱水器引發的, 沒有人受傷, 最終也不是什麼大事件, 但這之後,史吉普走向我,說了句: 「卡洛琳,幹得不賴!」 他聲音帶著點驚訝。
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
And I was confused, because the fire hadn't been difficult physically, so why was he looking at me with something like astonishment? And then it became clear: Skip, who was by the way a really nice guy and an excellent firefighter, not only thought that women could not be strong, he thought that they could not be brave either. And he wasn't the only one. Friends, acquaintances and strangers, men and women throughout my career ask me over and over, "Caroline, all that fire, all that danger, aren't you scared?" Honestly, I never heard a male firefighter asked this. And I became curious. Why wasn't bravery expected of women?
我覺得很困惑,因為 處理這場火災又不是特別困難, 為什麼他會這樣驚訝地看著我呢? 接著我漸漸了解了: 史吉普,順帶一提他是個好人, 是非常傑出的消防員, 不只覺得女人不可能是強壯的, 也覺得女人不可能是勇敢的。 他不是唯一一個有這種想法的。 朋友、熟人和陌生人, 無論男女,他們在我的工作生涯中 都一直問我, 「卡洛琳,你不覺得火啊, 像這種危險啊 很可怕嗎?」 老實說,我從沒聽過 男性消防員被問這種問題。 我開始覺得好奇。 為什麼女人不被期待是勇敢的呢?
Now, the answer began to come when a friend of mine lamented to me that her young daughter was a big scaredy-cat, and so I began to notice, and yes, the daughter was anxious, but more than that, the parents were anxious. Most of what they said to her when she was outside began with, "Be careful," "Watch out," or "No." Now, my friends were not bad parents. They were just doing what most parents do, which is cautioning their daughters much more than they caution their sons.
答案逐漸浮現, 當我的朋友向我訴苦說, 他的女兒是超級膽小鬼, 我發現, 沒錯,他女兒很焦慮, 但更糟的是,她的父母也都焦慮。 女兒出門在外的時候, 他們最常用這幾句開頭: 「小心」 「注意」 或是「不行」。 我的朋友並不是很糟的家長, 他們只是做了大部分家長會做的事, 也就是比起兒子 他們對女兒更加小心。
There was a study involving a playground fire pole, ironically, in which researchers saw that little girls were very likely to be warned by both their moms and dads about the fire pole's risk, and if the little girls still wanted to play on the fire pole, a parent was very likely to assist her. But the little boys? They were encouraged to play on the fire pole despite any trepidations that they might have, and often the parents offered guidance on how to use it on their own. So what message does this send to both boys and girls? Well, that girls are fragile and more in need of help, and that boys can and should master difficult tasks by themselves. It says that girls should be fearful and boys should be gutsy.
有個關於遊樂場消防桿的研究, 很諷刺的是,研究者發現, 小女孩常被自己的父母警告, 說消防桿是很危險的, 如果小女孩還是想玩, 她的父母有很高的機率會協助她。 那男孩呢? 他們通常是被鼓勵玩消防桿的, 雖然可能還是會擔心不安, 父母通常會教小男生 怎麼自己玩消防桿。 所以這告訴小孩怎樣的訊息呢? 女孩子是脆弱而且比較需要幫忙的, 男孩則是可以, 也必須自己處理難題。 這是在說女孩應該要感到害怕, 男孩應該要很勇敢。
Now, the irony is that at this young age, girls and boys are actually very alike physically. In fact, girls are often stronger until puberty, and more mature. And yet we adults act as if girls are more fragile and more in need of help, and they can't handle as much. This is the message that we absorb as kids, and this is the message that fully permeates as we grow up. We women believe it, men believe it, and guess what? As we become parents, we pass it on to our children, and so it goes.
諷刺的是在小時候, 男孩女孩在生理上是非常相似的。 事實上女孩直到 青春期前常是更強壯的, 也是更成熟的。 然而我們大人, 卻表現得好像女孩是更脆弱, 更需要幫助的, 而且不能應付跟男孩一樣多的事的。 這是我們在小時候就接收到的想法, 在我們長大的期間 越來越相信這個想法。 不論男女都這麼相信, 然後你看, 當我們成為家長, 我們將這個傳給小孩, 就這樣一直下去。
Well, so now I had my answer. This is why women, even firewomen, were expected to be scared. This is why women often are scared.
我現在有了答案。 這就是為什麼女人, 甚至是女消防員, 都被認為應感到害怕。 這也是為什麼女人常常感到害怕。
Now, I know some of you won't believe me when I tell you this, but I am not against fear. I know it's an important emotion, and it's there to keep us safe. But the problem is when fear is the primary reaction that we teach and encourage in girls whenever they face something outside their comfort zone.
我知道有些人不會相信我現在說的, 但我並不是反對害怕這件事。 我知道這是重要的情緒, 也知道害怕是為了讓我們保持安全。 但問題是, 我們教導和鼓勵女孩們, 遇到在她們舒適圈外的事物時, 首先就應感到害怕。
So I was a paraglider pilot for many years --
我是多年的滑翔傘飛行員——
(Applause)
(掌聲)
and a paraglider is a parachute-like wing, and it does fly very well, but to many people I realize it looks just like a bedsheet with strings attached.
滑翔傘是像降落傘的翅膀, 可以飛得很好, 但我知道對很多人來說, 它就像有繩子繫著的床單而已。
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
And I spent a lot of time on mountaintops inflating this bedsheet, running off and flying. And I know what you're thinking. You're like, Caroline, a little fear would make sense here. And you're right, it does. I assure you, I did feel fear. But on that mountaintop, waiting for the wind to come in just right, I felt so many other things, too: exhilaration, confidence. I knew I was a good pilot. I knew the conditions were good, or I wouldn't be there. I knew how great it was going to be a thousand feet in the air. So yes, fear was there, but I would take a good hard look at it, assess just how relevant it was and then put it where it belonged, which was more often than not behind my exhilaration, my anticipation and my confidence. So I'm not against fear. I'm just pro-bravery.
我在山頂花很多時間, 展開床單, 起跑,然後飛行。 我知道你在想什麼。 你想著,卡洛琳, 這時候覺得有點害怕是正常的。 你說得對,的確很正常。 我跟你保證,我真的感到害怕。 但站在山上, 當我等待順向的風颳起來的時候, 我也感覺到很多其他東西: 興奮和自信。 我知道我是好的飛行員。 我知道當時狀況很好, 不然我就不會去了。 我知道飛在幾千英尺的 高空中感覺多棒。 是的,我感到害怕, 但我仔細地去分析它, 衡量害怕的相關性, 然後就把它放在它該在的位置, 而它通常被我的興奮、 期待和自信壓過。 所以我並不是反對害怕。 我只是更嚮往勇敢。
Now, I'm not saying your girls must be firefighters or that they should be paragliders, but I am saying that we are raising our girls to be timid, even helpless, and it begins when we caution them against physical risk. The fear we learn and the experiences we don't stay with us as we become women and morphs into all those things that we face and try to shed: our hesitation in speaking out, our deference so that we can be liked and our lack of confidence in our own decisions.
我並不是要說女孩都得當消防員, 或者都應該玩滑翔翼, 我是在說我們正在教導女孩 變得膽小甚至無助, 而這都開始於我們 警告她們可能會受傷。 這種恐懼是我們學來 卻沒有經驗過的, 而這一直跟著我們直到成人, 接著轉化成為那些我們遇到 而且嘗試擺脫的事, 例如:我們對發聲的遲疑, 我們為了被喜歡而展現順從, 我們對自己的決定沒有自信。
So how do we become brave? Well, here's the good news. Bravery is learned, and like anything learned, it just needs to be practiced. So first, we have to take a deep breath and encourage our girls to skateboard, climb trees and clamber around on that playground fire pole. This is what my own mother did. She didn't know it then, but researchers have a name for this. They call it risky play, and studies show that risky play is really important for kids, all kids, because it teaches hazard assessment, it teaches delayed gratification, it teaches resilience, it teaches confidence. In other words, when kids get outside and practice bravery, they learn valuable life lessons.
這樣我們要如何變得勇敢呢? 好消息是: 勇敢是可以學習的, 就像所有可以被學習的東西一樣, 只是需要練習罷了。 第一, 我們得先深呼吸, 鼓勵女孩, 去溜滑板,爬樹, 攀爬遊樂場的消防桿。 我母親就是這麼做的。 那時候她並不知道, 但研究人員對此有那麼一個說法。 他們說這是「風險策略」, 研究指出風險策略 對於所有孩子來說都是重要的, 因為這教孩子們評估危險, 延遲享樂, 韌性, 和自信。 換句話說, 當孩子們到外面練習勇敢的時候, 他們學到很珍貴的生命課程。
Second, we have to stop cautioning our girls willy-nilly. So notice next time you say, "Watch out, you're going to get hurt," or, "Don't do that, it's dangerous." And remember that often what you're really telling her is that she shouldn't be pushing herself, that she's really not good enough, that she should be afraid.
第二,我們必須停止 慌張地不斷警告女孩。 你得注意下一次你說, 「小心,你會受傷」 或 「別做這個,這很危險」, 記住,你這麼說的時候 其實是在告訴她, 她不應該勉強自己, 她其實沒那麼優秀, 她應該要感到害怕。
Third, we women have to start practicing bravery, too. We cannot teach our girls until we teach ourselves. So here's another thing: fear and exhilaration feel very similar -- the shaky hands, the heightened heart rate, the nervous tension, and I'm betting that for many of you the last time you thought you were scared out of your wits, you may have been feeling mostly exhilaration, and now you've missed an opportunity. So practice. And while girls should be getting outside to learn to be gutsy, I get that adults don't want to get on hoverboards or climb trees, so we all should be practicing at home, in the office and even right here getting up the guts to talk to someone that you really admire.
第三, 我們身為女人,也要開始練習勇敢。 教女孩之前我們得先教自己。 還有一點: 害怕和興奮的感覺, 是非常相似的—— 手會顫抖,心跳會變快, 緊張的情緒, 我敢打賭在座的很多人, 上次你覺得自己被嚇壞的時候, 其實,你大多是感到興奮, 那你就錯過了一次練習勇敢的機會。 開始練習吧。 然而當女孩應該到外頭 學習變得勇敢的時候, 我知道大人不想 踏上懸浮滑板或爬樹, 所以我們都應該在家裡練習, 或是在辦公室, 甚至是這裡練習—— 鼓起勇氣與你仰慕的人聊一聊。
Finally, when your girl is, let's say, on her bike on the top of the steep hill that she insists she's too scared to go down, guide her to access her bravery. Ultimately, maybe that hill really is too steep, but she'll come to that conclusion through courage, not fear. Because this is not about the steep hill in front of her. This is about the life ahead of her and that she has the tools to handle and assess all the dangers that we cannot protect her from, all the challenges that we won't be there to guide her through, everything that our girls here and around the world face in their future.
最後,當你的女兒 在山頂的陡坡上騎車, 她說她不敢下去的時候, 帶著她找到她的勇敢。 最終,她可能會了解到 斜坡真的太陡了, 但是是透過自己的勇氣了解, 而不是透過害怕。 因為這跟在她面前的陡坡沒有關係, 而是跟她未來的人生有關。 而她有工具, 可以掌控和衡量 所有我們不能為她免除的危險, 所有我們不能帶著她走過的挑戰, 所有在這裡的女孩, 和世界上的其他女孩, 將面對的未來。
So by the way, the world record for crawling today --
順帶一提, 直至今日,爬行的世界紀錄——
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
is 35.18 miles, and I would really love to see a girl go break that.
是 56.62 公里, 如果有個女孩打破這個紀錄, 我會很開心。
(Applause)
(掌聲)