Hi. My name is Cameron Russell, and for the last little while, I've been a model. Actually, for 10 years. And I feel like there's an uncomfortable tension in the room right now because I should not have worn this dress.
Salom. Mening ismim Kameron Rassel va oxirgi paytlarda men model bo’lib ishlayapman. Aslida, oxirgi 10 yil davomida. Bu yerda hamma sal siqilib turibdi shekilli, ehtimol, shu libos deb, uni bekor kiyibman shekilli.
(Laughter)
(Kulgi)
So luckily, I brought an outfit change. This is the first outfit change on the TED stage, so you guys are pretty lucky to witness it, I think. If some of the women were really horrified when I came out, you don't have to tell me now, but I'll find out later on Twitter.
Yaxshiyamki, qo’shimcha kiyim olib kelibman. Bu TED sahnasida tarixdagi birinchi kiyim almashtirishdir, va siz buning baxtli guvohisizlar, menimcha. Agar ba’zi ayollar meni ko’rib, daxshatlangan bo’lishsa, menga buni aytmang, men keyin buni Twitterdan bilib olaman.
(Laughter)
(Kulgi)
I'd also note that I'm quite privileged to be able to transform what you think of me in a very brief 10 seconds. Not everybody gets to do that. These heels are very uncomfortable, so good thing I wasn't going to wear them. The worst part is putting this sweater over my head, because that's when you'll all laugh at me, so don't do anything while it's over my head. All right.
Yana shuni etmoqchimanki, men 10 soniya ichida, sizning men haqimdagi fikringizni, o’zgartirishga ega bo’ldim. Buni har kim ham qila olmaydi. Shu baland poshnalar noqulayki… Yaxshiyamki, ularda yurish niyatim yo’q. Eng qiyin qismi – bu sviterni kiyishdir, chunki siz mening ustimdan kulasizlar… Iltimos, uni kiyayotganimda kulmang. Ana bo'ldi.
So, why did I do that? That was awkward.
Nima uchun men bunday qildim? Juda noqulay bo’ldi.
(Laughter)
(Kulgi)
Well --
Demak...
(Laughter)
(Kulgi)
Hopefully not as awkward as that picture. Image is powerful, but also, image is superficial. I just totally transformed what you thought of me, in six seconds. And in this picture, I had actually never had a boyfriend in real life. I was totally uncomfortable, and the photographer was telling me to arch my back and put my hand in that guy's hair. And of course, barring surgery, or the fake tan that I got two days ago for work, there's very little that we can do to transform how we look, and how we look, though it is superficial and immutable, has a huge impact on our lives.
Umid qilamanki, bu rasmdagidek noqulay bo’lmagandir. Tashqi ko’rinish ko’p narsani anglatadi, lekin u aldamchi ham bo’lishi mumkin. Men atigi 6 soniya ichida, sizning men haqimdagi fikringizni o’zgartira oldim. Bu rasmni sur’atga olishgan paytda, mening yigitim yo’q edi, aslida. Men juda uyalgan edim, sur’atchi menga orqaga engashib va qo’limni yigitning boshiga qo’yish kerakligini aytdi. Albatta, jarrohlik yoki badanni qoraytirishdan tashqari, bir necha kun oldin menga zarur bo’lgan edi, tashqi qiyofamizni tubdan o’zgartirish uchun, bizda ko’p imkoniyatlar yo’q. Bizning tashqi ko’rinishimiz, qanchalik yolg’on bo’lmasin, bizning hayotimizga katta ta’sir qiladi.
So today, for me, being fearless means being honest. And I am on this stage because I am a model. I am on this stage because I am a pretty, white woman, and in my industry, we call that a sexy girl. I'm going to answer the questions that people always ask me, but with an honest twist.
Shuning uchun ham, men uchun dovyuraklik bu to’g’ri so’z bo’lishdir. Men shu sahnadaman, chunki men modelman. Men shu sahnadaman, chunki men jozibador oq ayolman va bizning ishda bu juda go’zal ko’rinish hisoblanadi. Menga berishadigan savollarga javob bermoqchiman, lekin to'liq vijdonan.
So the first question is, how do you become a model? I always just say, "Oh, I was scouted," but that means nothing. The real way that I became a model is I won a genetic lottery, and I am the recipient of a legacy, and maybe you're wondering what is a legacy. Well, for the past few centuries we have defined beauty not just as health and youth and symmetry that we're biologically programmed to admire, but also as tall, slender figures, and femininity and white skin. And this is a legacy that was built for me, and it's a legacy that I've been cashing out on. And I know there are people in the audience who are skeptical at this point, and maybe there are some fashionistas who are like, "Wait. Naomi. Tyra. Joan Smalls. Liu Wen." And first, I commend you on your model knowledge. Very impressive.
Birinchi savol: “Siz qanday qilib model bo’ldingiz?” Men har doim “meni topishdi” deyman, lekin bu hech narsa emas. Chunki aslida, men model bo'lganimning asosiy sababi, men genetikada va meroslikda yutganman. Qanday meros, deb so’rasangiz? Ho'sh, so’ngi asrlar davomida, biz go’zallikni baholashda nafaqat sog’lomlik, yoshlik va simmetriyaga, ularga o'zi har doim boshidanoq qaraymiz, lekin yana bo’y, ozg’inlik, nazokat va oqlikni ham baholaymiz. Va bu mening merosim, va bu meros bilan men pul topaman. Tomashabinlar ichida shubha qilyotganlar ham borligini bilaman, taniqli bo'lgan modellarni ham eslaydiganlar bordir: "Veyit, Naomi, Tayra, Jo’an Smols va Lyu Venlarni". Modellar haqidagi bilimlaringiz juda ta’sirli, qoyilman!
(Laughter)
(Kulgi)
But unfortunately, I have to inform you that in 2007, a very inspired NYU Ph.D. student counted all the models on the runway, every single one that was hired, and of the 677 models that were hired, only 27, or less than four percent, were non-white.
Lekin, afsuski, sizga xabar qilishim kerakki, 2007 yilda, Nyu-York Universitetining ilhomlangan aspiranti, ishga olingan barcha modellarni sanab chiqdi va 677 ishga olingan modellardan, faqatgina 27 tasi, bu 4% dan ham kam, oq tanali qizlar emas edilar.
The next question people always ask is, "Can I be a model when I grow up?" And the first answer is, "I don't know, they don't put me in charge of that." But the second answer, and what I really want to say to these little girls is, "Why? You know? You can be anything. You could be the President of the United States, or the inventor of the next Internet, or a ninja cardiothoracic surgeon poet, which would be awesome, because you'd be the first one."
Menga berishadigan keyingi savol: “Men ham model bo’la olamanmi?”. Men odatda: “Men buni hal qilmayman” deb javob beraman. Lekin aslida esa, men shu kichkina qizchalardan: "Nimaga? Bilasizmi? Siz hohlagan kasbni tanlashingiz mumkin. Siz AQSH presidenti bo’lishingiz mumkin, yoki yana bitta internet ihtirochisi, yoki ninzya-shoir-yurak-jarrohi, bu juda ajoyib bo’lardi, chunki bu siz birinchi bo’lasiz.
(Laughter)
(Kulgi)
If, after this amazing list, they still are like, "No, no, Cameron, I want to be a model," well, then I say, "Be my boss." Because I'm not in charge of anything, and you could be the editor in chief of American Vogue or the CEO of H&M, or the next Steven Meisel. Saying that you want to be a model when you grow up is akin to saying that you want to win the Powerball when you grow up. It's out of your control, and it's awesome, and it's not a career path.
Xatto bu ro’yhatdan keyin ham menga ular: “Yo’q, yo’q Kameron, men model bo’laman” men: “Mening boshlig'im bo'laqol" Chunki, men hech narsani boshqarmayman, siz esa AQSHning “Vogue” jurnalining bosh muharriri, yoki H&M ning, yoki keyingi Stiven Meyzel. Katta bo’lsam model bo’laman deb da’vo qilish, katta bo’lib superloto yutaman so’zlariga o’xshaydi. Bu sizning nazoratingizdan tashqari, va bu ajoyib, lekin bu ish sohasi emas.
I will demonstrate for you now 10 years of accumulated model knowledge, because unlike cardiothoracic surgeons, it can just be distilled right now. So, if the photographer is right there, the light is right there, like a nice HMI, and the client says, "We want a walking shot," this leg goes first, nice and long, this arm goes back, this arm goes forward, the head is at three quarters, and you just go back and forth, just do that, and then you look back at your imaginary friends, 300, 400, 500 times.
Men sizga 10 yil davomida ishlab, to'plagan bilimlarimni ko’rsatmoqchiman. Yurak jarrohlaridan farqli o’laroq, men ularni hozir, shu yerda ko’rsata olaman. Demak, masalan, sur’atchi hozir bu yerda, lampalar esa u yerda va mijoz menga: “Bizga, ko’chada ketyatgan sur'at kerak” desa, shunda bu oyoq cho’zilgan holda oldinga yuradi, bu qo’l orqaga, buni esa oldinga, boshing sal chetga va ketdi, oldinga-orqaga, orqadigi hayolingdagi do’stlaringa qarab… 300, 400, 500 marta.
(Laughter)
(Kulgi)
It will look something like this.
Va bu shunday ko’rinishi mumkin.
(Laughter)
(Kulgi)
Hopefully less awkward than that one in the middle. That was -- I don't know what happened there.
Umid qilamanki, o’rtadagi rasmdan yaxshiroq, u yerda nima bo’lgani, umuman noma’lum.
Unfortunately, after you've gone to school, and you have a résumé and you've done a few jobs, you can't say anything anymore, so if you say you want to be the President of the United States, but your résumé reads, "Underwear Model: 10 years," people give you a funny look.
Afsuski, universitetni tugatib, rezyume yozib va ish qidirishni boshlaganimizda, katta tanlovga ega bo’lmaymiz. Shuning uchun, agar siz prezident bo’lmoqchi bo’lsangiz, lekin rezyumeda “ichki kiyimlar modeli: 10 yosh” deyilgan bo'lsa, odamlar kulishadi.
The next question is, "Do they retouch all the photos?" And yeah, they pretty much retouch all the photos, but that is only a small component of what's happening. This picture is the very first picture that I ever took, and it's also the very first time that I had worn a bikini, and I didn't even have my period yet. I know we're getting personal, but I was a young girl. This is what I looked like with my grandma just a few months earlier. Here's me on the same day as this shoot. My friend got to come. Here's me at a slumber party a few days before I shot French Vogue. Here's me on the soccer team and in V Magazine. And here's me today. And I hope what you're seeing is that these pictures are not pictures of me. They are constructions, and they are constructions by a group of professionals, by hairstylists and makeup artists and photographers and stylists and all of their assistants and pre-production and post-production, and they build this. That's not me.
Keyingi savol: “Barcha sur’atlar qayta ishlaniladimi?” Ha, barcha sur’atlarga o’zgartirishlar kiritiladi, lekin bu sodir bo’ladigan ishlarning kichik bir qismi. Bu mening eng birinchi tushgan sur'atim, va bikinini birinchi marta kiyishim edi, va hatto balog’at yoshidan oldin edi. Bilaman, bu shaxsiy, lekin rostdan ham hali yosh edim. Mana men, u sur’atdan bir necha oy oldin, buvim bilan. Bu esa o’sha kuni, sur’atga olishdan oldin. Do’stim men bilan kelgandi. Bu esa, Vogue jurnaliga sur’atga tushishdan oldin, do’stimning uyida. Bu men va mening futbol jamoam, bu esa men V jurnalida. Bu esa men bugun. Endi men umid qilamanki, bu sur’atlar meniki emasligini ko’rdingiz. Ular katta ishdir, va buni o'z ishlarida katta professional bo'lgan, sartaroshlar, kosmetologlar, sur’atchilar, stilistlar va barcha yordamchi jamoalarning ishidir, bu ularning mehnati. Meniki emas.
Okay, so the next question people always ask me is, "Do you get free stuff?"
Ho'sh, menga berishadigan keyingi savol: "Kiyimlarni bepul olasizmi?
(Laughter)
(Kulgi)
I do have too many 8-inch heels which I never get to wear, except for earlier, but the free stuff that I get is the free stuff that I get in real life, and that's what we don't like to talk about.
Albatta, menda hech qachon kiymaydigan, bu yerdan tashqari, baland poshnali oyoq kiyimlar bor Rostdan ham bepul oladigan narsam, biz bu haqida gapirishni yoqtirmaymiz, bu hayotda ro’y beradigan narsalar.
I grew up in Cambridge, and one time I went into a store and I forgot my money and they gave me the dress for free. When I was a teenager, I was driving with my friend who was an awful driver and she ran a red and of course, we got pulled over, and all it took was a "Sorry, officer," and we were on our way. And I got these free things because of how I look, not who I am, and there are people paying a cost for how they look and not who they are.
Men Kembrijda o’sganman, bir kuni do’konga borib, hamyonni unutibman, ular esa ko’ylakni menga bepul berishdi. Yoshligimda, bir kuni do’stim bilan mashinada yurib, u juda yomon haydar edi va qizil chiroqdan o’tib ketdi, va bizni to’xtatishdi, men “Kechirasiz” deyishim yetarli edi va politsiya bizni qo’yib yubordi. Bu hodisalarning barchasi mening shaxsiyatim deb emas, balki ko’rinishim deb, dunyoda shaxsiyati deb emas, balki tashqi ko’rinishi deb baholangan insonlar ko’p.
I live in New York, and last year, of the 140,000 teenagers that were stopped and frisked, 86% of them were black and Latino, and most of them were young men. And there are only 177,000 young black and Latino men in New York, so for them, it's not a question of, "Will I get stopped?" but "How many times will I get stopped? When will I get stopped?" When I was researching this talk, I found out that of the 13-year-old girls in the United States, 53% don't like their bodies, and that number goes to 78% by the time that they're 17.
Men Nyu-Yorkda yashayman va o’tgan yil mobaynida politsiya hibsga olgan 140.000 yoshlardan, 86% yoki qora tanli, yoki lotinamerikalik va ko’pchiligi erkak kishilar. Umuman, Nyu-Yorkda faqatgina 177.000 qora tanli va lotinamerikalik yoshlar yashaydi, ular uchun ularni to’xtashishadimi yo’qmi savol emas. Qachon va necha marta meni to'tatishadi - shu savoldir. Bu nutqga tayyorlanishdan oldin, AQShning 13 yoshli qizlarning 53%, o’zlarining tanasini yomon ko’rishlarini bildim. Ular 17 yoshga kirganlarida, bu raqamlar 78% ko’tariladi.
So, the last question people ask me is, "What is it like to be a model?" And I think the answer that they're looking for is, "If you are a little bit skinnier and you have shinier hair, you will be so happy and fabulous." And when we're backstage, we give an answer that maybe makes it seem like that. We say, "It's really amazing to travel, and it's amazing to get to work with creative, inspired, passionate people." And those things are true, but they're only one half of the story, because the thing that we never say on camera, that I have never said on camera, is, "I am insecure." And I'm insecure because I have to think about what I look like every day. And if you ever are wondering, "If I have thinner thighs and shinier hair, will I be happier?" you just need to meet a group of models, because they have the thinnest thighs, the shiniest hair and the coolest clothes, and they're the most physically insecure women probably on the planet.
Mendan so’rashadigan so’nggi savol: “Qanday u - model bo'lish?” Menimcha, ular kutyatgan javob: "Agar, siz nozik va sochlaringiz yorqin bo’lsa, sizda albatta hammasi yaxshi bo’ladi". Va ba’zan sahna ortida beradigan javoblarimiz hatto rostligiga ishonamiz. Biz: “Ish juda yaxshi, biz ko'p sayohat qilamiz, qiziq ijodiy insonlar bilan ishlaymiz”. Va buning barchasi rost, lekin bu hali hammasi emas, chunki, biz kameraga eta olmaydigan narsamiz, buni kameraga hech qachon aytmaganman, men o’zimga ishonmayman. Chunki, men har kuni usti ko'rinishim haqida o’ylashim kerak. Va agarda sizga qiziq bo'lsa: "Nozikroq bo’lsam va sochlarim yorqinroq bo’lsa, baxtli bo’lamanmi?" buni bir guruh modellardan so’rang. Ular noziklar, sochlari yorqin va juda yaxshi kiyim-kechaklari bor, va ular, ehtimol, dunyodagi eng o’zlariga ishonmaydigan ayollardir.
When I was writing this talk, I found it very difficult to strike an honest balance, because on the one hand, I felt very uncomfortable to come out here and say, "Look I've received all these benefits from a deck stacked in my favor," and it also felt really uncomfortable to follow that up with, "and it doesn't always make me happy." But mostly it was difficult to unpack a legacy of gender and racial oppression when I am one of the biggest beneficiaries.
Men nutqimni yozgan paytimda, men har xil qiyinchiliklarga duch keldim, chunki, bir tarafdan, bu noto’g’ri bo’lardi, agar men bu yerga kelib: “Men bu barcha imtiyozlarga, omad tufayli ega bo’ldim” – deyish, yoki noto’g’ri bo’lardi, agarda undan keyin men: “bu meni baxtli qilmadi” – deb aytsam. Lekin eng qiyini, jinsiy va irqiy ta’qib to’g’risida gapirib, bu merosdan foyda olyotganim haqida gapirish.
But I'm also happy and honored to be up here and I think that it's great that I got to come before 10 or 20 or 30 years had passed and I'd had more agency in my career, because maybe then I wouldn't tell the story of how I got my first job, or maybe I wouldn't tell the story of how I paid for college, which seems so important right now.
Lekin, bu yerda bo’lish, men uchun sharaf, va o'ylaymanki, bugun shu yerga kelganim, 10, 20 yoki 30 yildan so'ng kelib, ko'proq tajribaga ega bo'lib, balki, sizga men qanday qilib hayotimdagi birinchi ishimni oldim, yoki ta’lim olish uchun pul topganimni aytib bermas edim, balki ular muhim bo'lmas edi.
If there's a takeaway to this talk, I hope it's that we all feel more comfortable acknowledging the power of image in our perceived successes and our perceived failures.
Mening so’zlarimdan keyin, tashqi ko’rinishimizning hayotdagi g’alabalar va mag’lubiyatlarga ahamiyatini tushunasiz deb umid qilaman.
Thank you.
Rahmat.
(Applause)
(Qarsaklar)