Caitlin Quattromani: The election of 2016 felt different. Political conversations with our family and friends uncovered a level of polarization that many of us had not previously experienced. People who we always thought were reasonable and intelligent seemed like strangers. We said to ourselves, "How could you think that? I thought you were smart."
كهیتلین كواترۆمانی: ههڵبژاردنهكانی .٢٠١٦جیاواز بوو مشتومره سیاسیهكان لهگهڵ خێزان و هاوڕێكانمان ئاستێكی جهمسهرگیری دهرخست .كه زۆربهمان پێشتر ئهزمونمان نهكردبوو ئهو كهسانهی ههمیشه پێمان وابوو بهرپسیار و زیرهكن .وەک نامۆ دەرکەوتن بهخۆمان گووت چۆن دهبێت وهها بیربكهیتهوه؟ .پێم وابوو زیرهكیت
Lauran Arledge: Caitlin and I met in the summer of 2011, and we bonded around being working moms and trying to keep our very energetic boys busy. And we soon found out we had almost everything in common. From our love of Colorado to our love of sushi, there wasn't much we didn't agree on. We also discovered that we share a deep love of this country and feel a responsibility to be politically active. But no one's perfect --
لهورێن ئهرلیج: من و كهیتلین .لە هاوینی ٢٠١١ یەکمان ناسی ئیشكردن و دایكایهتی پێکیەوەی دەبەستیەوە ههوڵمان دهدا كوڕه زیتهڵهكانمان .سهرقاڵ بكهین ههر زوو ههستمان بهوه كرد زۆر شتی .هاوبەشمان هەیە .له خۆشهویستیمان بۆ كۆلۆرادۆ تا سوشی شتێكی ئهوتۆ نهبوو كۆك نهبین لهسهری ههستمان بهوهكرد خۆشهویستیهكی قوڵمان ههیه بۆ ئهم ووڵاته ههستمان بە بهرپرسیارهتی کرد .تا لە ڕوی سیاسییەوە چالاکبین بهڵام هیچ كهس پێرفێكت نیه
(Laughter) and I soon found out two disappointing things about Caitlin. First, she hates camping.
(پێكهنین) ههر زوو دهربارهی دوو شتی .کەیتڵین، بێهیوابووم .یهكهم، ڕقی له كامپینگ بوو
CQ: I think camping is the worst.
.ك.ك: پێم وایه گامپینگ خراپترین شته
LA: So there would not be any joint camping trips in our future. The second thing is that she's politically active all right -- as a conservative.
ل.ئ: ئینجا هیچ كامپێكیمان .نابێت له داهاتوو دوههم شت، كهسێكی چالاكه له سیاسهتدا .وهكو موحافیزكارێك
CQ: I may hate camping, but I love politics. I listen to conservative talk radio just about every day, and I've volunteered for a few different conservative political campaigns.
ك.ك: لهوانهیه ڕقم له كامپینگ بێت .بهڵام سیاسهتم خۆش دهوێت ڕۆژانه له ڕادیۆ گوێ ،له بابهتی محافیزكاری دەگرم وە خۆبهخشانه كارم كردووه له .چهند كامپێنێكی موحافیزكارهكان
LA: And I'd say I'm a little to the left, like all the way to the left.
،ل.ئ: وه من كهمێك بهرهو چهپڕهویم .مەبەستم ئەوەیە، زۆر چەپم
(Laughter)
(پێكهنین)
I've always been interested in politics. I was a political science major, and I worked as a community organizer and on a congressional campaign.
.ههمیشه حهزم له سیاسهت بووه ،پسپۆڕیشم لهزانسته سیاسیهكانه كارم كردووه وهكو ڕێكخهری كۆمهڵهیهك .و كامپینی كۆنگرێس
CQ: So as Lauran and I were getting to know each other, it was right in the middle of that 2012 presidential campaign, and most of our early political conversations were really just based in jokes and pranks. So as an example, I would change Lauran's computer screen saver to a picture of Mitt Romney, or she would put an Obama campaign magnet on the back of my car.
ك.ك: كاتێ من و لهورێن یهكمان ناسی له ناوهڕاستی كهمپینی ،سهرۆكایهتی 2016 بوو زۆربهی ئاخاوتنه سیاسیهكانی پێشومان .لهسهربنهمای گاڵتهوگهپ بوو بۆنمونه، من شاشهی كۆمپیوتهرهكهی لهورێنم دهگۆڕی ،به وێنهی میت ڕۆمینی یان ئهو ماگنێتی كهمپنی ئۆبامای له پشتهوهی ئۆتۆمبیلهكهم دهدا
(Laughter)
(پێكهنین)
LA: Car, not minivan.
.ل.ئ: ئۆتۆمبیل نهك پاسی بچووک
CQ: But over time, those conversations grew more serious and really became a core of our friendship. And somewhere along the line, we decided we didn't want to have any topic be off limits for discussion, even if those topics pushed us way outside of our friendship comfort zone.
ك.ك: به تێپهربوونی كات ئهو گفتوگۆیانه جدی تر بوون و بوونه ناواخنی هاوڕێیهتیهكهمان ،شوێنێك به درێژای هێڵهكه بڕیارمان دا هیچ شتی سنوردار نهكهین و .گفتوگۆ لەسەر ههموو شت تهنانهت گهر پاڵمان بنێنە دهرهوهی .ناوچهی ئارامی هاورێیهتییەکەمانەوە
LA: And so to most of us, political conversations are a zero-sum game. There's a winner and there's a loser. We go for the attack and we spot a weakness in someone's argument. And here's the important part: we tend to take every comment or opinion that's expressed as a personal affront to our own values and beliefs. But what if changed the way we think about these conversations? What if, in these heated moments, we chose dialogue over debate? When we engage in dialogue, we flip the script. We replace our ego and our desire to win with curiosity, empathy and a desire to learn. Instead of coming from a place of judgment, we are genuinely interested in the other person's experiences, their values and their concerns.
ل.ئ: بۆ زۆربهمان .مشتومڕی سیاسی یاریهكی بێ ئهنجامه .دۆڕاو و براوە هەن هێرش دهكهین و خاڵی لاواز له بهرامبهرهكهماندا دهدۆزینهوه ئهمهش گرنگترین بهشه دهمانهوێت ههموو كۆمێنت و .بۆچوونێك وهرگرین وهك ههوڵێكی كهسی .له پێناو نرخ و بههای خۆمان بهڵام چی دهبێت گهر بۆچونمان بگۆرین دهربارهی ئاخاوتنهكانمان؟ ئهی ئهگهر له ساتی ڕق لێبوونهوه دایهلۆگ ههڵبژێرین له بڕی مشتومڕ؟ كاتێ دایهلۆگ دهكهین دهستنوسهكه دهگۆڕین حهز و خۆ پهسهندیمان بۆ سهركهتن دهگۆڕێ به هاوسۆزی و تێگهیشتن .و حهزی فێربوون لهبڕی شوێنی بڕیاردان بهڕاستی حهز دهكهین ،ئهزمونی كهسانی تر بكهین گرنگی و بههایان
CQ: You make it sound so simple, Lauran. But getting to that place of true dialogue is hard, especially when we're talking about politics. It is so easy to get emotionally fired up about issues that we're passionate about, and we can let our ego get in the way of truly hearing the other person's perspective. And in this crazy political climate we're in right now, unfortunately, we're seeing an extreme result of those heated political conversations, to the point where people are willing to walk away from their relationships. In fact, Rasmussen released a poll earlier this year that said 40 percent of people reported that the 2016 election negatively impacted a personal relationship, and the Journal of Cognitive Neuroscience tells us that people tend to feel their way to their beliefs rather than using reasoning, and that when reason and emotion collide, it's emotion that invariably wins. So no wonder it's hard to talk about these issues.
ك.ك: تۆ زۆر به سادهی باسی .دەکەیت لهوران .بهڵام گهیشتن به خاڵی دیالۆگ زهحمهته .به تایبهت كاتێ باسی سیاسهت دهكهین زۆر به ئاسانی ههڵدهچین دهربارهی ئهو بابهتانهی ،سۆزمان ههیه بۆیان و دهتوانین وا له خۆپهسهندی خۆمان بكهین بهراستی . بۆچونی خهڵكانی دیكه ببیستێت لهم كهشه شێتانهیهی ،ئێستای سیاسهتدا بەداخەوە، ئێمه ئهوپهری دهرئهنجامی .مشتومری سیاسی توند دهبینین بهجۆرێ خهڵكی حهز دهكهن .لهپهیوهندیهكانیان دوربکەونەوە ڕاسمسن سەرەتای ئەمساڵ ڕاپرسییەکی بڵاوکردەوە دهڵێ سهدا 40 خهڵك گوتویانه ههڵبژاردنی 2016 كاریگهری نهرێنی ههبووه لهسهر ،پهیوهندیه كهسیهكانیان ڕۆژنامهی كۆگنهتیڤ نیۆرۆساینس پێمان دهڵێت خهڵك پارێزگاری له بیروباوهڕیان دهكهن بههۆی ههست و سۆزیان .زیاتر له ژیریان .کاتێک ههست و ژیری بهریهك دهكهون .به دڵنیایهوه ههست سهردهكهوێ بهبێ سهرسورمان، باسکردنی ئەم بابەتانە .زۆر قورسه
LA: And look, we're just two regular friends who happen to think very differently about politics and the role that government should play in our lives. And I know we were all taught not to talk about politics because it's not polite, but we need to be able to talk about it, because it's important to us and it's a part of who we are.
.ڵ.ئ: سهیركه ئێمه دوو هاورێی ئاساین .ڕێكهوتی كردووه زۆر جیاواز بیركهینهوه لهسهر سیاسهت و ڕۆڵی .حكومهت لهسهر ژیانمان هموومان پێمان دهگوترێت باسی سیاسهت نهكهین .چونكه لهگهڵ ڕهوشت ناگونجێ بهڵام پێویسته بتوانین .باسی بکەین چونكه گرنگه بۆمان و بهشێكه .له بوونمان
CQ: We have chosen to avoid political debate and instead engage in dialogue in order to maintain what we fondly call our bipartisan friendship.
ك.ك: بڕیارمان داوه .مشتومڕ لەسەر سیاسهت نهكهین .له بڕی ئهوه دیالۆگ بكهین بۆ ئهوهی ئەو شتە بپارێزین کە ناومان ناوە هاوڕێیەتی و سازانی .دوولایەنە
(Laughter)
(پێكهنین)
LA: And this election and all of the craziness that has followed has given us several opportunities to practice this skill.
ل.ئ: ئهو ههڵبژاردنه و ئهو گێژاوهی بهدووی خۆیدا هێنای زۆر ههلی باشی پێبهخشین :تا كار بهم لێزانینەمان بكهین
(Laughter)
(پێكهنین)
Let's start with January and the Women's March. At this point, you can probably guess which one of us participated.
با لە ڕێپێوانی ژنانەوە .دەستپێبەین لە بەنایەر لهم خاڵهدا، دهتوانین پێشبینی بكهی .كێ له ئێمه بهشداری كردووه
(Laughter)
(پێكهنین)
CQ: Oh, the Women's March. I was annoyed and irritated that entire day, really because of two things. Number one, the name "Women's March." As a conservative woman, the march's platform of issues didn't represent me, and that's OK, but hearing it talked about as this demonstration of sisterhood and solidarity for all women didn't ring true for me. The other piece was the timing of the event, the fact that it was the day after the presidential inauguration. It felt like we weren't even giving the new administration to actually do anything, good or bad, before people felt the need to demonstrate against it.
.ك.ك: ئو ڕێپێوانی ژنان به درێژای ڕۆژهكه ،بێزار و وهرهس بووم .بهڕاستی لهبهر دوو شت .یهكهم، ناوهكهی ڕێپێوانی ئافرهتان ،وهكو ئافرهتێكی موحافیزكار پلاتفۆرمی ڕێپێوانهكه ،نوێنهرایهتی منی نەدەکرد ،ئهوه باشه بهڵام به بیستنی ئهوهی كه ئهم خۆپیشاندانه بۆخوشكایهتی و پاڵپشتی ههموو ژنانه .بۆ من ڕاست نەبوو ،بهشێكی دیكه كاتی ڕووداوهكهیه له ڕاستیدا ئهمه ڕۆژێك دوای .دهست بهكاربوونی سهرۆك بوو وا ههستم دهكرد تهنانهت بهرێوهبهرایهتی نوێ هیچ كارێكیان نهكردووه ،باش یان خراپ پێش ئهوهی خهڵك درك به .پێویستی خۆپێشاندان بكهن دژی
LA: And under normal circumstances, I would agree with Caitlin. I think an administration does deserve the benefit of the doubt. But in this case, I was marching to show my concern that a man with such a poor track record with women and other groups had been elected as president. I had to be part of the collective voice that wanted to send a clear message to the new president that we did not accept or condone his behavior or rhetoric during the election.
ل.ئ: له ههلومهرجی ئاسای دا .ههمان بۆچوونی كایتهلینم ههیه پێم وایه بهڕێوه بهرایهتیهكه .شایانی گومانلێکردنە لهم بارهدا، ڕێپێوانم دهكرد بۆ ئهوهی دڵسۆزی خۆم نیشان بدهم كه پیاوێك بهو ههموو پێشینه خراپهی لهگهڵ ژن و گروپهكاتی ترههیهتی .ههڵبژێردراوه وهكو سهرۆك پێویسته بهشێك بم .لهو دهنگه گشتگیره كه دهیانویست پهیامێكی ڕوون بنێرن بۆ سهرۆكه نوێیهكه که ئێمه قبوڵمان نیه و خۆشنابین لهههڵسوكهوت و خۆبهزلزانینەکەی .كاتی ههڵبژاردن
CQ: So I'm already feeling kind of aggravated, and then I see this Facebook from Lauran pop up in my social media feed.
ك.ك: من ههست به جۆرێ له ،توڕهبوون دهكهم ئینجا فهیسبوكهكهی لهورێن .دهبینم به بابهتی نوێوه
(Laughter)
(پێكهنین)
Seeing Lauran's sons at the march and holding signs took it to a new level for me, and not in a good way, because I know these boys, I love these boys, and I didn't feel they were old enough to understand what the march stood for. I didn't understand why Lauran would choose to have them participate in that way, and I assumed it wasn't a choice that the boys made for themselves. But I also know Lauran. You're an incredible mom who would never exploit your boys in any way, so I had to stop and check myself. I had a decision to make. I could take the easy way out and just choose not to say anything to her, and instead just kind of simmer in my frustration, or I could ask her to learn more about her motivations.
دهبینم كوڕهكهی لهورێن له ڕێپێواهكه دروشمی ههڵگرتووه ئەمە بە ڕێگەیەکی خراپ ،منی بردە ئاستێکی دیکەوە ،چونكه ئهم كوڕانه دهناسم ،ئهو كوڕانهم خۆش دهوێن و ههست ناكهم تهمهنیان گونجاو بێت بۆ ئهوهی تێبگهن ڕێپێوان .مانای چییه تێناگهم بۆ لهورێن ڕیگەیدان بەم جۆرە بەشداری بکەن وهها تێدهگهم ئهمه ههڵبژاردهی .كوڕهكان نییه .ههروهها لهورێنیش دهناسم تۆ دایکێکی زۆر باشیت ههرگیز كوڕهكانت بەمجۆرە ،بهكار ناهێنیت پێویستبووههڵوهستهیهك بكهم .چێكی خۆم بكهم .دهبوو بڕیارێك بدهم دهمتوانی ڕێگە ئاسانەکە هەڵبژێرم بۆ هەڵهاتن ،هیچ شـێكیش بهو نهڵێم له بری ئهوه توڕهییهكهم ،هێور بێتهوه یان لەبارەی هۆکارەکانییەوە .پرسیاری لێبكهم
LA: And I shared with Caitlin that we actually started talking about the March weeks before we participated. And my boys were curious as to why the event was being organized, and this led to some very interesting family conversations. We talked about how in this country, we have the right and the privilege to demonstrate against something we don't agree with, and my husband shared with them why he thought it was so important that men joined the Women's March. But the most significant reason we marched as a family is that it was a way for us to honor my parents' legacy. They spent their careers working to defend the rights of some of our most vulnerable citizens, and they passed these values down to me and my brother, and we want to do the same with our sons.
ل.ئ: لهگهڵ كهیتلین قسەم كرد باسی ڕێپێوانهكهمان كرد چهن ههفتهیهك پێشتر .بهشدار بووین كوڕهكانم زۆر تامهزرۆ بوون ،بۆ ئیڤێنتهكه ڕێكدهخرا ئەمە ڕایکێشاینە ناو چەند بابەتێکی .خێزانیی سەرەنجڕاکێشەەوە قسەمان لەسەر ماف و ئیمتییازەکانی ئەم وڵاتە کرد بۆ خۆپێشاندان له دژی ئهو شتانهی ،هاوڕانین لهگهڵی هاوسهرهكهم پێیانی ڕاگهیاند گرنگی ئەوە لە کوێدایە پیاوان بهشداری ڕێپێوانی .ئافرهتان بكهن بهڵام له ههمووی گرنگتر وهكو خێزانێك ڕێپێوانمان كرد ڕێگایهك بوو بۆ شهرهفمهندی .سپاردهی دایك وباوكمان هەموو کارەکانیان لە پێناو پارێزگاری كردن له مافی ،هاولاتیانی بێ دهسهڵات بوو ئهم بههایانهیان بۆ .من و براكهم جێهێشت ئێمهش دهمانهوێت ههمان شت .بكهین بۆ كوڕهكانمان
CQ: After talking to Lauran, I really understood not only why she felt it was so important to march, but why she had her boys with her. And frankly, my assumptions were wrong. It was the boys who wanted to march after they talked about the issues as a family.
ك.ك: پاش قسهكردن ،لهگهڵ لهورێن تێگهیشتم نهك تهنها ،له گرنگی ڕێپێوانهكه لای ئهو .بهڵكو بۆ كوڕهكانیشی لهگهڵ بووه ،ڕاشكاوانه دەڵێم گریمانهكنم ههڵه بوون كوڕهكان دهیانویست ڕێپێوان بكهن پاش ئهوهی وەک خێزانێک .قسەیان لەسەر کردبوو
But what's most important about this example is to think about the alternative. Had Lauran and I not talked about it, I would have been annoyed with her, and it could have resulted in an undercurrent of disrespect in our friendship. But by asking Lauran questions, it allowed us to use dialogue to get to a place of true understanding. Now, to be clear, our conversation didn't really change my mind about how I felt about the March, but it absolutely changed my thinking around why she brought her boys with her. And for both of us, that dialogue allowed us to understand each other's perspective about the Women's March even though we disagreed.
بهڵام له ههمووی گرنگتر لهسهر ئهم نمونهیه ئهوهیه بیر له ،بژاردهكانی دیکە بكهینهوه گەر قسەمان لەسەری نەکردایە ،بێزار دەبووم لهگهڵ ئهو لە ئەنجامدا كۆمهڵێك بێرێزی لێدهكهوتهوه .كاری له هاوڕێیهتیمان دهكرد بهڵام بهپرسیار كردن له لهورێن دیالۆگمان بهكارهێنا .بۆ ئهوهی لهیهكتر بگهین ئێستا ڕوونتر بڵێم گفتوگۆكهمان هێچ بۆچونی نهگۆڕیم لهسهر ،بیرکردنەوەی من بۆ ڕێپێوانهكه بهڵام بهدڵنیایهوه بۆچونم ،گۆڕا لهسهر بردنی كوڕهكانی بۆ ههردووكمان دیالۆگ وایكرد له یهكتر بگهین ڕای یهكتر بزانین لهسهر ڕێپێوانی ئافرهتان .ههرچهند كۆكیش نهبین
LA: The second topic that challenged our ability to engage in dialogue was around my need to understand how Caitlin could vote for Trump.
ل.ئ: دووهم بابەت كه ئاستهنگی دروست كردووه له بهردهم دیالۆگدا ویستی من بوو بۆ تێگەیشتن لەوەی .چۆن كهیتهلین دهنگی به ترهمپ داوه
(Laughter)
(پێكهنین)
Caitlin is a successful professional woman who is deeply caring and compassionate, and the Caitlin I know would never excuse any man from talking about women the way that Trump did during the campaign. It was hard for me to reconcile these two things in my mind. How could you overlook the things that were said?
كهیتهلین ئافرهتێكی سهركهوتووه كه زۆر بهسۆزه و گرنگی دهدات ئهم كهیتهلینی من دهیناسم ههرگیز رێگە نادات هیچ پیاوێك قسه لهسهر ژن بكات بهوجۆرهی تهمپ .كاتی كهمپینهكه دەیکرد قورس بوو ئهو دوو شته .جێگایان بێتهوه له مێشكم چۆن دهڕوانیته ئهو شتانه؟
CQ: So I'm guessing I may not be the only one here that thought we didn't have the best choices for the presidential election last year.
ك.ك: پێم وایه من تاكه كهسێك نیم بهم جۆره بیر بكهمهوه ئێمه ههڵبژاردهی باشترمان نهبوو بۆ ههڵبژاردنی ساڵی پار
(Laughter)
(پێكهنین)
The Republican candidate who I did support didn't make it out of the primary, so when it came time to vote, I had a decision to make. And you're right, there were some terrible things that came out during the Trump campaign, so much so that I almost decided to just abstain rather than voting for president, something I had never even considered doing before. But ultimately, I did vote for Donald Trump, and for me it was really a vote for party over person, especially recognizing how important that presidential pick is on influencing our judicial branch. But I shared with Lauran it was a decision I really wrestled with, and not one that I made lightly.
كاندیدی كۆماریهكان كه من پاڵپشتیم ،دهكرد ناسراو نهبوو كه هاته ساتی دهنگدان .پێویست بوو بڕیار بدهم ڕاست دهكهیت زۆر شتی ناخۆش ههبوون له كاتی بانگهشهی ترهمپ خهریك بوو بریار بدهم و نهچم بۆ دهنگدان ،دهنگ نهدهم بۆ سهرۆك شتێك كه پێشتر ههرگیز بیرم .لێ نهكردووەتهوه بیكهم ،بهڵام دواتر دهنگم دا به ترهمپ ،بۆ من دهنگدان بوو به حزب نهك به كهس دهمزانی ههڵبژاردنی سهرۆكایهتی چهنده گرنگه .كاریگهری ههیه لهسهر دادگهری بهڵام به لهورێنم گووت ،ململانێنم دهكرد لهگهڵ ئهم بڕیاره .به سانایی نهم دا
LA: And so after our conversation, I was struck by a few things. First, I had fallen victim to my own confirmation bias. Because of my strong feelings about Trump, I had given all Trump voters the same attributes, and none of them forgiving.
ل.ئ: دوای گفتوگۆكهمان .به چهند شتێك كاریگهر بووم یهكهم بوومه قوربانی .چهسپاندنی لایهنگیری خۆم .بههۆی ههستە بهتینهكهم بۆ ترهمپ ههمان باوهڕم ههبوو ،لهسهر دهنگدهرانی ترهمپ .کەسیان میهرەبان نین
(Laughter) But knowing Caitlin, I started to ask questions. What were Trump voters really concerned about? Under all the divisive language, what was really going on? What could we learn about ourselves and our country from this unlikely event? I also learned that we shared a deep disappointment in this election, and that we have growing concerns about our two-party political system.
(پێكهنین) بهڵام ناسینی كهیتهلین .وای لێكردم پرسیار بكهم دهنگدهرانی ترهمپ نیگهرانی چین؟ له ژێر ئهم ههوو زمانی دووبهرهكیه چی ڕوودهدات؟ دهتوانین چی بزانین لهسهر خۆمان و وڵاتهكهمان لهوم ڕوداوە نهخوازراوهوە؟ پێم وایه ههمان ههستی بێهیوای ،بهش دهكهین لهم ههڵبژاردنه ههردووكمان نیگهرانین لهو .سیستهمی دوو حیزبه سیاسیه
But the most important thing about this conversation is that it happened at all. Without an open and honest dialogue between the two of us, this election would have been the elephant in the room for the next four years, pun intended.
بهڵام له ههمووی گرنگتر دهربارهی ئهم ئاخاوتنهمان ڕوویان داوه بهبێ دیالۆگێكی كراوه و ڕاستگۆیانه له نێوان ههردووکماندا ئهم ههڵبژاردنه دهبووه كێشهیهكی گهوره بۆ چوار ساڵی داهاتوو مهبهستم ڕهگهزدۆزیه
(Laughter)
(پێكهنین)
CQ: So, look --
ك.ك: تهماشا كه---
(Applause)
(پێكهنین)
So, look -- we know it takes work to get past the difficult, frustrating and sometimes emotional parts of having discussions about issues like the Women's March or why your friend may have voted for a candidate that you can't stand. But we need to have these conversations. Our ability to move past political debate into true dialogue is a critical skill we should all be focused on right now, especially with the people that we care about the most.
تهماشا كه--- دهزانین كاری دهوێ بۆ ئهوهی ئهو سهرسهختیانه تێپهڕێنین وههندێ جار ههڵچونه سۆزداریهكانی مشتومڕهكان لهسهر بابهتهكانی وهكو ڕێپێوانی ئافرهتان یان بۆچی هاوڕێكهت دهنگی داوه .به كاندیدێكی نهشیاو .بهڵام پێویسته ئهم گفتوگۆیانه ههبێت توانامان بۆ گۆڕینی مشتومڕی سیاسی بۆ دیالۆگی ڕاستهقینه هونهرێكی گرنگه ههموومان ،دهبێت گرنگی پێبدهین به تایبهت لهگهڵ ئەو خهڵكانەی .گرنگن له لامان
LA: And it's not just as adults that we need to bottle this behavior. It's critical that we do it for our children as well. My sons were inundated with this election. We were listening to the news in the morning, and they were having conversations with their friends at school. I was concerned that they were picking up so much polarizing misinformation, and they were growing really fearful of a Trump presidency. Then one day, after the election, I was taking my sons to school, and my younger son, completely out of the blue, said, "Mom, we don't know anybody who voted for Trump, right?"
ل.ئ: تەنها گەورەکان پێویستیان بەم هەوڵسوکەوتە نییە بهڵكو گرنگە هەمان شت .لەگەڵ منداڵەکانیشمان بکەین كوڕهكانم بێزاربوون بههۆی .ئهم ههڵبژاردنهوه گوێبستی ههواڵهكان دهبووین ،له بهیانیاندا باسی ئهم بابهتهیان دهكرد لهگهڵ .هاوڕێكانیان له قوتابخانه نيگهران بووم چونكه زۆر زانیاری ،ناراستی جهمسهرگیریان وههردهگرت ترسیان زیاتر دهبوو به .سهرۆكایهتی ترهمپ ،تا ڕۆژێك له دوای ههڵبژاردن ،كوڕهكانم دهبرده قوتابخانه كوڕه گچكهكهم زۆر له ناکات گوتی دایكه، هیچ كهسێ ناناسین دهنگی به ترهمپ دابێت، وانییه؟
(Laughter)
(پێكهنین)
And I paused and I took a deep breath. "Yes, we do."
وهستام و ههناسهیهكی .قوڵم ههڵكێشا .بەڵێ، دەیناسین
(Laughter)
(پێكهنین)
"The Quattromanis." And his response was so great. He kind of got this confused look on his face, and he said ... "But we love them."
كواترۆمانیس .وهڵامهكهی زۆر سهرسورهێنهر بوو به جۆرێ سهری لێتێكچوو -----و گووتی .بهڵام ئهوانمان خۆشدهوێت
(Laughter)
(پێكهنین)
And I answered, "Yes, we do."
.وهڵامم داوه بهڵێ خۆشمان دهوێن
(Laughter)
(پێكهنین)
And then he said, "Why would they vote for him?" And I remember stopping and thinking that it was really important how I answered this question. Somehow, I had to honor our own family values and show respect for our friends. So I finally said, "They think that's the right direction for this country." And before I had even gotten the whole sentence out, he had moved on to the soccer game he was going to play at recess.
پاشان گووتی بۆچی ئهوان دهنگیان به ئهو دا؟ لهبیرم دێ وهساتم و بیرم كردهوه زۆر گرنگ بوو چۆن .وهڵامی ئهو پرسیارهم داوه بهجۆرێ دهبوایه ڕێز له بههاكانی خێزانهكهم بگرم و ڕێز پیشان بدهم .بۆ هاوڕێكانم ،له كۆتایدا گووتم پێیان وایه ئهمه ڕێگایهكی .ڕاسته بۆ ئهم وڵاته پێش ئهوهی ههموو ،ڕستهكهم تهواو بكهم ڕۆیشت بۆ یاری تۆپی پێ .یاری دهكرد له كاتی پشوهكهی
CQ: So life with boys.
.ك.ك: ژیان لهگهڵ كوڕهكان
(Laughter)
(پێكهنین)
So what Lauran and I have discovered through our bipartisan friendship is the possibility that lives in dialogue. We have chosen to be genuinely curious about each other's ideas and perspectives and to be willing to listen to one another even when we disagree. And by putting aside our ego and our preconceived ideas, we've opened ourselves up to limitless learning. And perhaps most importantly for our relationship, we have made the commitment to each other that our friendship is way more important than either of us being right or winning a conversation about politics. So today, we're asking you to have a conversation. Talk to someone outside of your political party who might challenge your thinking. Make an effort to engage with someone with whom you might typically avoid a political conversation. But remember, the goal isn't to win, the goal is to listen and to understand and to be open to learning something new.
ئهوهی لهورێن و من بینیمان له ڕێگای هاوڕێیهتییه دولایهنهكهمان .دەتوانین بە دایەلۆگ بژین ئێمه خۆمان ههڵمانبژارد ڕاستگۆیانه زانینخواز بین دهربارهی بۆچون و تێڕوانینی یهكدی وه حهزبكهین گوێ له یهكتر بگرین .تهنانهت ئهوكاتنهی كۆكیش نین وه بهخستنهلاوهی خۆپهسهندی و ،بۆچونی لایهنگیرانه دهستپێكێكی بێسنورمان .بۆ فێربوون كردهوه لهوهش گرنگتر بۆ هاوڕێیهتیهكهمان بەڵێنی خۆپەیوەستکردنمان بەیەک دا كه هاوڕێیهتیهكهمان زۆر گرنگتره له بردنهوه و خۆبهڕاست دانان .له گفتووگۆیهك لهسهر سیاسهت ئهمرۆ ئێمه داواتان لێدهكهین .گفتوگۆ بكهن قسه لهگهڵ كهسێك كه لهدهرهوهی حزبهكهت ڕهنگه دژی .بیركردنهوهكانت بێتهوه ههوڵ بده كهسێك سهرقاڵ بكهیت كه به تایبهت خۆت له گفتوگۆی .سیاسی لێ بهدووردهگری ،بهڵام لهبیرت بێت ئامانجهكه ئهوه نییه ببهیتهوه ئامانجهكه گوێگرتنه و تێگهیشتن و .ویستی فێربوونی شتی نوێیە
LA: So let's go back to election night. As the polls were closing and it became clear that Trump was going to be our new president, I was devastated. I was sad, I was confused, and I'll be honest -- I was angry. And then just before midnight, I received this text message from Caitlin.
.ل.ئ: با بهگهرێینهوه شهوی ههڵبژاردن كاتێ دهنگدان دادهخرا ڕوون دهبویهوه ترهمپ دهبێته ،سهرۆكه نوێیهكهمان .من وێران بووبووم ،خهمبار و سهرلێشێواو .ڕاستگۆ تر--- توڕه بووم ،ئینجا كهمێك پێش نیوهشهو .نامهیهكم له كهیتهلینهوه بۆهات
[I know this is a hard night for you guys. We are thinking of you. Love you.]
.دهزانم شهوێكی سهخته بۆ ئێوه) (.بیر له ئێوه دهكهینهوه. خۆشم دهوێی
And where there so easy could have been weeks or months of awkwardness and unspoken hostility, there was this -- an offering of empathy rooted in friendship. And I knew, in that moment, that we would make it through this.
زۆر سانا بوو چهند ههفتهیهك و مانگێكی ناخۆش --- و بێ قسهی نهخوازراو، ئهمه هاوسۆزی ڕهگی لە هاوڕێیەتییەکەماندا .داکوتابوو دهمزانی لهم ساتهدا، كه .بهم ڕێگایهمان دا برد
CQ: So we must find a way to engage in meaningful conversations that are going to move us forward as a nation, and we can no longer wait for our elected officials to elevate our national discourse.
ك.ك: پێویسته ڕێگایهك بدۆزینهوه بۆ ئهوهی گفتوگۆی مانادار بكهین كه بهرهو پێشهوهمان دهبات ،وهك نهتهوهیهك ناتوانین زیاتر چاوهڕێ بین بۆ ههڵبژێرداوه ڕهسمیهكان .بۆ بهرزكردنهوی وتاری نهتهوهیی
LA: The challenges ahead are going to require all of us to participate in a deeper and more meaningful way ... and it starts with each one of us building connection through dialogue -- in our relationships, our communities and as a country.
ل.ئ: ئاستهنگهكانی پێشمان پێویستی به ههموان ههیه بۆ بهشداری كردنێكی ----قوڵتر و مانادارتر و لە هەر یەکەمانەوە دەستپێەکات پهیوهندیهكانمان لهسهر دیالۆگ بنیاتبنێین له پهیوهندیهكانمان و كۆمهڵگەکانمان .وەک یەک وڵاتیش
Thank you.
.زۆر سوپاس
(Applause)
(چهپڵه لێدان)