My story actually began when I was four years old and my family moved to a new neighborhood in our hometown of Savannah, Georgia. And this was the 1960s when actually all the streets in this neighborhood were named after Confederate war generals. We lived on Robert E. Lee Boulevard. And when I was five, my parents gave me an orange Schwinn Sting-Ray bicycle. It had a swooping banana seat and those ape hanger handlebars that made the rider look like an orangutan. That's why they were called ape hangers. They were actually modeled on hotrod motorcycles of the 1960s, which I'm sure my mom didn't know. And one day I was exploring this cul-de-sac hidden away a few streets away. And I came back, and I wanted to turn around and get back to that street more quickly, so I decided to turn around in this big street that intersected our neighborhood, and wham! I was hit by a passing sedan. My mangled body flew in one direction, my mangled bike flew in the other. And I lay on the pavement stretching over that yellow line, and one of my neighbors came running over. "Andy, Andy, how are you doing?" she said, using the name of my older brother. (Laughter) "I'm Bruce," I said, and promptly passed out.
我的故事從我四歲時開始 我們一家搬到了一個新區 我的故居喬治亞州撤番那市 那是1960年 當時這一區的所有街道 全以南方聯邦將領冠名 我們住在羅扙.E.李大道上 在我五歲那年 父母給我買了一台橘色的腳踏車 前傾式的座位及猿猴掛樹式的把手 讓騎上去的人看起來活像一隻狒狒 所以才叫「猿猴掛樹」式 這設計以當時廣受歡迎的摩托車為範本 我媽肯定不知道這一點 有一天我騎著我的腳踏車 到一條隱秘的死胡同探險 回家的時侯 我又想抄小路折回去 我決定從這一絛交接的 大街上拐彎的時候 碰! 的一聲,一輛車子撞上了我 我變形的身子飛往一個方向 變形的腳踏車飛往另一個方向 我就躺在路中的黃線上 鄰居朝我跑過來 「安迪, 安迪, 你還好嗎?」她叫著我哥哥的名字 (笑聲) 「我是布魯斯。」我說, 然後就昏了過去
I broke my left femur that day -- it's the largest bone in your body -- and spent the next two months in a body cast that went from my chin to the tip of my toe to my right knee, and a steel bar went from my right knee to my left ankle. And for the next 38 years, that accident was the only medically interesting thing that ever happened to me. In fact, I made a living by walking. I traveled around the world, entered different cultures, wrote a series of books about my travels, including "Walking the Bible." I hosted a television show by that name on PBS. I was, for all the world, the "walking guy." Until, in May 2008, a routine visit to my doctor and a routine blood test produced evidence in the form of an alkaline phosphatase number that something might be wrong with my bones. And my doctor, on a whim, sent me to get a full-body bone scan, which showed that there was some growth in my left leg. That sent me to an X-ray, then to an MRI. And one afternoon, I got a call from my doctor. "The tumor in your leg is not consistent with a benign tumor." I stopped walking, and it took my mind a second to convert that double negative into a much more horrifying negative. I have cancer. And to think that the tumor was in the same bone, in the same place in my body as the accident 38 years earlier -- it seemed like too much of a coincidence.
那天,我折斷了我的左邊的大腿骨 身體裏最大的一跟骨頭 石膏打了兩個月 從下巴一直到腳趾頭 到右膝蓋 一根鋼棒連著我的 右膝蓋跟左腳踝 在往後的38年裏 那次意外是我的病歷上 最有趣的一件事。 然而, 我把走路變為生計 我環遊世界, 走進不同的文化 並且把我的旅程寫成書 其中包括了「聖經之旅」 那部書更被改作同名的電視劇 在PBS播放 大家都叫我「行者」 直到2008年5月 一次例行的體檢 一次例行血液測試 驗出我的鹼性磷酸酶值偏高 我的骨骼可能出了毛病 我的醫生, 一時心血來潮, 叫我去做全身骨骼掃描 結果發現我的左腿長了有一些東西 我又去做了X光和磁振造影 一天下午, 我接到醫生的電話 「你腿上的腫瘤 是非良性的。」 我停下了腳步 又過了好一會 我才突然理解 非良性腫瘤就是癌 你想想看, 跟38年前意外的 同一條骨頭 的同一個位置上 我覺得這是不可能的巧合
So that afternoon, I went back to my house, and my three year-old identical twin daughters, Eden and Tybee Feiler, came running to meet me. They'd just turned three, and they were into all things pink and purple. In fact, we called them Pinkalicious and Purplicious -- although I must say, our favorite nickname occurred on their birthday, April 15th. When they were born at 6:14 and 6:46 on April 15, 2005, our otherwise grim, humorless doctor looked at his watch, and was like, "Hmm, April 15th -- tax day. Early filer and late filer." (Laughter) The next day I came to see him. I was like, "Doctor, that was a really good joke." And he was like, "You're the writer, kid." Anyway -- so they had just turned three, and they came and they were doing this dance they had just made up where they were twirling faster and faster until they tumbled to the ground, laughing with all the glee in the world. I crumbled. I kept imagining all the walks I might not take with them, the art projects I might not mess up, the boyfriends I might not scowl at, the aisles I might not walk down. Would they wonder who I was, I thought. Would they yearn for my approval, my love, my voice?
那天下午, 我回到了家 我那對三歲的同卵雙胞胎女兒, 依殿和泰必 跑上來迎接我 她們剛滿三歲 喜歡所有粉紅和紫色的東西 我們暱稱她們為粉紅仙子和紫仙子 -- 可是我最喜歡的暱稱 是在她們生曰的那天,4月15日,得到的。 她們是在 2005年 4月15曰 6:14 和 6:46 出生的 我們的那個嚴肅又沒幽默感的醫生 看了看手表說: 「唔, 4月15, 納稅的日子, 早繳兒和晚繳兒呀」 (笑聲) 第二天我跟他說「醫生, 你的笑話太好笑了.」 他說「孩子,你才是作家呢!」 所以, 她們剛滿三歲 她們跑過來叫我欣賞她們自創的舞蹈 她們轉呀轉, 轉到摔在地上 兩個人笑成一團 我崩潰了 我一直想像著我無法陪她們走的路 無法弄糟她們的美術作業 無法朝她們的男友直皺眉頭 無法看到她們步入教堂 她們會猜想我是怎麼樣的人嗎? 會不會盼望得到我的認可 我的愛, 我的聲音
A few days later, I woke with an idea of how I might give them that voice. I would reach out to six men from all parts of my life and ask them to be present in the passages of my daughters' lives. "I believe my girls will have plenty of opportunities in their lives," I wrote these men. "They'll have loving families and welcoming homes, but they may not have me. They may not have their dad. Will you help be their dad?" And I said to myself I would call this group of men "the Council of Dads."
數天後, 我想到了一個點子 可以讓她們聽到我的聲音 我要從我的生命中 挑選出六個男人 請他們在我女兒生命中的 每個階段陪伴她們 「我相信我的女兒們會有光明的未來」 我在給這些男人的信上這樣寫: 「她們會有幸福的家庭, 慈愛的家人 可是她們可能會失去我 可能會失去她們的爸爸 你們願不願意當她們的爸爸?」 然後我對自己說: 我會稱他們為「爸爸顧問團」
Now as soon as I had this idea, I decided I wouldn't tell my wife. Okay. She's a very upbeat, naturally excited person. There's this idea in this culture -- I don't have to tell you -- that you sort of "happy" your way through a problem. We should focus on the positive. My wife, as I said, she grew up outside of Boston. She's got a big smile. She's got a big personality. She's got big hair -- although, she told me recently, I can't say she has big hair, because if I say she has big hair, people will think she's from Texas. And it's apparently okay to marry a boy from Georgia, but not to have hair from Texas. And actually, in her defense, if she were here right now, she would point out that, when we got married in Georgia, there were three questions on the marriage certificate license, the third of which was, "Are you related?" (Laughter) I said, "Look, in Georgia at least we want to know. In Arkansas they don't even ask." What I didn't tell her is, if she said, "Yes," you could jump. You don't need the 30-day waiting period. Because you don't need the get-to-know-you session at that point.
一想到這個點子以後 我當下就決定要瞞住我老婆. 為甚麼呢? 我老婆是一個很開朗 很容易興奮的人 大家都知道, 我們的文化裏有這麼個概念 就是在困難的面前要保持快樂的精神 要樂觀的面對一切 我老婆在波士頓外長大 她有一個大大的笑容, 熱血的心腸 還有大大的髮型 我老婆不準我再說她有大大的髮型 因為那樣讓人聽起來 就好像她是從德州(南部)來的一樣 原來嫁一個南部來的男孩是可以的 有一個南部的髮型卻萬萬不可 不過,說 句公道話, 她要是在這兒的話, 她會抗議說, 我們在喬治亞結婚的時侯, 結婚證書上, 有三個問題 第三個問題是: 你們是否有親戚關係? (笑聲) 我說:「至少喬治亞有問呀! 在阿肯色州,他們連問一下都省了.」 她不知道的是, 假如她回答「是」, 連30天的等侯期都可以省掉 因為已經不需要瞭解期
So I wasn't going to tell her about this idea, but the next day I couldn't control myself, I told her. And she loved the idea, but she quickly started rejecting my nominees. She was like, "Well, I love him, but I would never ask him for advice." So it turned out that starting a council of dads was a very efficient way to find out what my wife really thought of my friends.
所以我不準備告訴她我今天的點子 但是第二天我就敝不住告訴她了 她非常喜歡我的點子 可是她馬上否定了我的所有人選 她說: 「我是很喜歡他沒錯, 可是我不會聽取他的建議。」 原來成立「爸爸顧問團」 可以讓我馬上瞭解到 我老婆對我朋友的看法
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
So we decided that we needed a set of rules, and we came up with a number. And the first one was no family, only friends. We thought our family would already be there. Second, men only. We were trying to fill the dad-space in the girls' lives. And then third, sort of a dad for every side. We kind of went through my personality and tried to get a dad who represented each different thing. So what happened was I wrote a letter to each of these men. And rather than send it, I decided to read it to them in person. Linda, my wife, joked that it was like having six different marriage proposals. I sort of friend-married each of these guys.
我們決定先開出一些條件 我們想到了以下這些: 第一, 必需是朋友而不是家人 因為家人本來就會陪在身邊 第二, 必需是男性 因為他們要取替的是爸爸的角色 第三, 我們需要各式各樣的父親 我們稍為分析了我的個性 要盡量找一個父親來取替我的每一方面 然後我給他們每個人寫了一封信 我決定不用寄的 而要親自唸給他們聽 蓮達, 我老婆, 取笑我說這就像求婚六次一樣 我跟他們每一個人都結下一段不解之緣。
And the first of these guys was Jeff Schumlin. Now Jeff led this trip I took to Europe when I graduated from high school in the early 1980s. And on that first day we were in this youth hostel in a castle. And I snuck out behind, and there was a moat, a fence and a field of cows. And Jeff came up beside me and said, "So, have you ever been cow tipping?" I was like, "Cow tipping? He was like, "Yeah. Cows sleep standing up. So if you approach them from behind, down wind, you can push them over and they go thud in the mud." So before I had a chance to determine whether this was right or not, we had jumped the moat, we had climbed the fence, we were tiptoeing through the dung and approaching some poor, dozing cow.
第一個是傑夫. 史密林 他是我去歐州旅遊時的嚮導。 那是1980代初, 我剛高中畢業 在一個城堡的青年旅館裏住下來的頭一晚 我從後門偷偷溜了出去 外面有一絛護城河, 一面圍牆, 跟一大堆牛 傑夫從我的旁邊走上來說: 「喂! 你有沒有試過推倒過一頭牛? 」 「推倒一頭牛? 」 我問 他說: 「對呀! 牛是站著睡的 所以你要從後方, 下風處繞過去 你一推, 牠們就會啪一聲倒到泥巴裏去」 在我還沒來得及決定這是對還是不對以前 我們己經跳過護城河, 翻過籬笆 踮著腳繞過牛糞 來到了一頭可憐的,酣睡中的牛的身邊。
So a few weeks after my diagnosis, we went up to Vermont, and I decided to put Jeff as the first person in the Council of Dads. And we went to this apple orchard, and I read him this letter. "Will you help be their dad?" And I got to the end -- he was crying and I was crying -- and then he looked at me, and he said, "Yes." I was like, "Yes?" I kind of had forgotten there was a question at the heart of my letter. And frankly, although I keep getting asked this, it never occurred to me that anybody would turn me down under the circumstances. And then I asked him a question, which I ended up asking to all the dads and ended up really encouraging me to write this story down in a book. And that was, "What's the one piece of advice you would give to my girls?"
所以在我診斷出來的兩個禮拜後 我們去了佛蒙特州一趟 去邀請傑夫成為爸爸顧問團的第一名成員。 在一個蘋果園裏, 我把信唸讀給了他聽 「你願不願意成為她們的父親? 」 我唸完以後, 他在哭, 我也在哭 然後, 他看著我, 他說: 「好的。」 我反問他: 「好甚麼?」 我早就忘了信的主旨就是在提問。 老實說,我雖然考慮了很多, 可是我卻沒有想過 會有人在這種情況下拒絕我。 然後我問了他一個問題,一個我後來問了所有爸爸的問題, 而最後它更鼓勵我把這個故事寫進書裡。 那問題是: 「假如你要給我女兒 一個建議, 你會說甚麼? 」
And Jeff's advice was, "Be a traveller, not a tourist. Get off the bus. Seek out what's different. Approach the cow." "So it's 10 years from now," I said, "and my daughters are about to take their first trip abroad, and I'm not here. What would you tell them?" He said, "I would approach this journey as a young child might approach a mud puddle. You can bend over and look at your reflection in the mirror and maybe run your finger and make a small ripple, or you can jump in and thrash around and see what it feels like, what it smells like." And as he talked he had that glint in his eye that I first saw back in Holland -- the glint that says, "Let's go cow tipping," even though we never did tip the cow, even though no one tips the cow, even though cows don't sleep standing up. He said, "I want to see you back here girls, at the end of this experience, covered in mud."
傑夫的建議是: 「當一個旅人,不要當一個遊客。 走下公車, 找找看不一樣的事物。 朝那頭牛走過去。」 我問他: 「假如十年以後 我的女兒第一次出國旅遊, 而我己經不在了 你會對她們說甚麼? 」 他說: 「妳們對一趟旅程 應該抱著孩子對泥坑的態度 你可以彎下身來看自己的倒影 你可以用你的手指去泛起一陣漣漪 又或者, 你可以縱身跳進去 親自去體會那感受, 那氣味」 說這的時侯他的眼中放著異彩 就好像當年在荷蘭的時侯一樣 那異彩在說: 「走, 我們推牛去!」 雖然我們並沒有推倒那一頭牛 雖然從來沒有人推過倒一頭牛 雖然牛根本不是站住睡的 他說: 「當妳們旅途回來以後 我要看到妳們混身泥巴。」
Two weeks after my diagnosis, a biopsy confirmed I had a seven-inch osteosarcoma in my left femur. Six hundred Americans a year get an osteosarcoma. Eighty-five percent are under 21. Only a hundred adults a year get one of these diseases. Twenty years ago, doctors would have cut off my leg and hoped, and there was a 15 percent survival rate. And then in the 1980's, they determined that one particular cocktail of chemo could be effective, and within weeks I had started that regimen. And since we are in a medical room, I went through four and a half months of chemo. Actually I had Cisplatin, Doxorubicin and very high-dose Methotrexate.
我診斷後兩個禮拜, 一個活切 証實了我的左大腿上有一個 七吋的骨肉瘤 每一年有600個美國人患上骨肉瘤 85% 在 21歲以下 每年只有100個成人 患上這個疾病 二十年前, 醫生會切除我的腿 然後寄望那15% 的生存機會 但在80年代, 他們決定 一種特定的雞尾酒療法可能有效 幾星期內我就開始了療程 在醫務室裏 我的化療持續了4個半月 我用了順鉑 (Cisplatin), 多柔比星 (Doxoubicin) 跟大劑量的甲氨蝶呤 (Methotrexate)
And then I had a 15-hour surgery in which my surgeon, Dr. John Healey at Memorial Sloan-Kettering Hospital in New York, took out my left femur and replaced it with titanium. And if you did see the Sanjay special, you saw these enormous screws that they screwed into my pelvis. Then he took my fibula from my calf, cut it out and then relocated it to my thigh, where it now lives. And what he actually did was he de-vascularized it from my calf and re-vascularized it in my thigh and then connected it to the good parts of my knee and my hip. And then he took out a third of my quadriceps muscle. This is a surgery so rare only two human beings have survived it before me. And my reward for surviving it was to go back for four more months of chemo. It was, as we said in my house, a lost year.
還熬過了一個15個小時的手術 我的外科醫師, 約翰. 喜利醫生 在紐約斯隆-凱特林紀念醫院裏 取出了我的左大腿骨 以鈦金屬取代 假如你有看桑傑醫生的特集 你就會看到這些大大的螺絲 擰進了我的骨盆中 然後他從我的小腿肚中 取出腓骨 移放到大腿內 這個過程已包括切斷小腿內腓骨上 的所有血管, 再在大腿上重新接連 再把腓骨接到 健康的膝蓋跟骨盆上 然後他把我的股四頭肌切掉 1/3 這項手術非常罕有 在我之前只有兩個人成功生存下來 而我成功的獎勵 則是再4個月的化療 在我家裏, 我們把這一年 叫作失去的一年
Because in those opening weeks, we all had nightmares. And one night I had a nightmare that I was walking through my house, sat at my desk and saw photographs of someone else's children sitting on my desk. And I remember a particular one night that, when you told that story of -- I don't know where you are Dr. Nuland -- of William Sloane Coffin -- it made me think of it. Because I was in the hospital after, I think it was my fourth round of chemo when my numbers went to zero, and I had basically no immune system. And they put me in an infectious disease ward at the hospital. And anybody who came to see me had to cover themselves in a mask and cover all of the extraneous parts of their body. And one night I got a call from my mother-in-law that my daughters, at that time three and a half, were missing me and feeling my absence. And I hung up the phone, and I put my face in my hands, and I screamed this silent scream. And what you said, Dr. Nuland -- I don't know where you are -- made me think of this today. Because the thought that came to my mind was that the feeling that I had was like a primal scream.
在剛開始的幾個星期, 每個人都不斷的在做惡夢 一天晚上, 我夢到自己在家裏走著 然後坐到書桌前卻看到別人家小孩的照片 放在我的案頭上 我又記得一個晚上, 它讓我想到了 紐蘭醫生 -- 我不知道你現在在哪 –- 他告訴我關於威廉.科芬 的故事的那一個晚上 因為當我在醫院裏, 經過了4回的化療以後 我幾乎完全沒有免疫力了 他們讓我住進隔離病房 所有來看我的人都要戴上口罩 把所有外露的肢體遮蓋起來 一天晚,我岳母來電話說 我當時只有三歲半的女兒 在想我 我掛上了電話 把頭埋到手裏 發出了無聲的尖叫 然後你說的話, 紐蘭醫生 讓我今天想到了這件事 因為我當時的想法 和當時的感受 就像一聲原始的吶喊
And what was so striking -- and one of the messages I want to leave you here with today -- is the experience. As I became less and less human -- and at this moment in my life, I was probably 30 pounds less than I am right now. Of course, I had no hair and no immune system. They were actually putting blood inside my body. At that moment I was less and less human, I was also, at the same time, maybe the most human I've ever been. And what was so striking about that time was, instead of repulsing people, I was actually proving to be a magnet for people. People were incredibly drawn. When my wife and I had kids, we thought it would be all-hands-on-deck. Instead, it was everybody running the other way. And when I had cancer, we thought it'd be everybody running the other way. Instead, it was all-hands-on-deck. And when people came to me, rather than being incredibly turned off by what they saw -- I was like a living ghost -- they were incredibly moved to talk about what was going on in their own lives.
最深刻的-- 也我今天想要對你們表達的 – 是當時的感受 當我越來越不成人形的時候 我的體重要比現在輕了30磅 我沒有頭髮也沒有免疫力 他們甚至要把血輸進我的體內 我感覺自己越來越不像一個人 同時, 我卻又好像 比甚麼時侯都更像一個人 那時侯, 最不可思議的是 別人不但沒有排斥我 反而好像比平常更喜歡接近我 好像蜜蜂見到蜜糖一樣 我們小孩出生的時候, 以為大家會同心協力 結果是一盤散沙 現在我患上癌症, 以為大家會像一盤散沙 反而大家都同心協力 大家來看我的時侯 不旦沒有被我 活死人模樣嚇跑 反而被我打動 而向我敞開心屝
Cancer, I found, is a passport to intimacy. It is an invitation, maybe even a mandate, to enter the most vital arenas of human life, the most sensitive and the most frightening, the ones that we never want to go to, but when we do go there, we feel incredibly transformed when we do. And this also happened to my girls as they began to see, and, we thought, maybe became an ounce more compassionate. One day, my daughter Tybee, Tybee came to me, and she said, "I have so much love for you in my body, daddy, I can't stop giving you hugs and kisses. And when I have no more love left, I just drink milk, because that's where love comes from." (Laughter) And one night my daughter Eden came to me. And as I lifted my leg out of bed, she reached for my crutches and handed them to me. In fact, if I cling to one memory of this year, it would be walking down a darkened hallway with five spongy fingers grasping the handle underneath my hand. I didn't need the crutch anymore, I was walking on air.
癌症, 我發現, 是通往誠懇的捷徑 是一個邀請, 甚至是一個要求 去參與人生最必要 也是最可怕的舞台 雖然我們常常會裹足不前 可是當我們一旦抵達那裏 我們便會經歷到那前所未有的蛻變 那正好是我女兒剛開始懂事的時候 我希望她們能學得更有愛心 一天, 我女兒泰必跑來跟我說: 「爸爸, 我是這麼的愛你, 想要一直抱你, 親你。 假如我把愛都用光了, 我就去喝牛奶 因為牛奶會補充我的愛。」 (笑聲) 一天晚上, 我女兒依殿跑來我那 當我把腳抬起來的時侯 她便把拐杖拿了給我 我這一年最珍貴的回憶 便是走下一條暗暗的走廊 還有那五支小小的手指 跟我一起抓住拐杖 我己經不需要拐杖了 因為整個人是輕飄飄的
And one of the profound things that happened was this act of actually connecting to all these people. And it made me think -- and I'll just note for the record -- one word that I've only heard once actually was when we were all doing Tony Robbins yoga yesterday -- the one word that has not been mentioned in this seminar actually is the word "friend." And yet from everything we've been talking about -- compliance, or addiction, or weight loss -- we now know that community is important, and yet it's one thing we don't actually bring in. And there was something incredibly profound about sitting down with my closest friends and telling them what they meant to me. And one of the things that I learned is that over time, particularly men, who used to be non-communicative, are becoming more and more communicative. And that particularly happened -- there was one in my life -- is this Council of Dads that Linda said, what we were talking about, it's like what the moms talk about at school drop-off.
其中最深刻的 便是加深了人與人之間的關係 這又讓我想到 -- 讓我強調這一點 -- 一個我只聽過一次的詞 當我們昨天在做瑜珈的時侯 一個我今天一直沒有提到的詞 -- 友誼 可是在所有我們談到的話裡 – 比方承諾、癖好、或減肥 -- 我們現在知道團隊很重要 可我們往往都不曾提到。 其中最深刻的 就是跟最親密的好友坐下來 告訴他們他們對我有多重要。 然後我弄明白了一件事情, 以往男性多半不擅長表達自已 現在也慢慢的開始學會了。 其中最好的例子 便是我這個爸爸顧問團 我老婆說我們就好像一群女人 送孩子上學的時侯說長道短一樣。
And no one captures this modern manhood to me more than David Black. Now David is my literary agent. He's about five-foot three and a half on a good day, standing fully upright in cowboy boots. And on kind of the manly-male front, he answers the phone -- I can say this I guess because you've done it here -- he answers the phone, "Yo, motherfucker." He gives boring speeches about obscure bottles of wine, and on his 50th birthday he bought a convertible sports car -- although, like a lot of men, he's impatient; he bought it on his 49th. But like a lot of modern men, he hugs, he bakes, he leaves work early to coach Little League. Someone asked me if he cried when I asked him to be in the council of dads. I was like, "David cries when you invite him to take a walk." (Laughter) But he's a literary agent, which means he's a broker of dreams in a world where most dreams don't come true. And this is what we wanted him to capture -- what it means to have setbacks and then aspirations. And I said, "What's the most valuable thing you can give to a dreamer?" And he said, "A belief in themselves." "But when I came to see you," I said, "I didn't believe in myself. I was at a wall." He said, "I don't see the wall," and I'm telling you the same, Don't see the wall. You may encounter one from time to time, but you've got to find a way to get over it, around it, or through it. But whatever you do, don't succumb to it. Don't give in to the wall.
而最瞭解這種現代男人的 便是大衛. 布拉克。 現在大衛是我的出版經紀人。 他大概有五尺三寸半高 假如他穿牛仔靴又站得直挺挺的話 他接電話的時侯 倒是男子氣十足的 「喂? 那個他媽的王八呀? 」 他總喜歡滔滔不絕沉悶的談論沒人聽過的酒 在50歲生曰那天他買了開蓬車 跟很多男人一樣, 他很沒耐性, 49歲就買了 可是, 像很多的現代男人, 他會擁抱, 會烘烤 會從公司早退去教小孩打球 有人問我,找他參加爸爸顧問團的時,他哭了沒? 我說: 「你找他散步他也會哭!」 (笑聲) 可是他是一個出版經紀人, 是一個在夢想極少成真的世界裡的夢想經紀人 這就是他在爸爸顧問團裡的任務 怎樣從挫折中重拾抱負。 我問他: 「你會給夢想家甚麼樣的建議呢? 」 他說: 「要相信自已。」 「可是當我來找你的時侯」, 我說, 「我一點都不相信自已。 我四處碰壁。」 他跟我說: 「我可沒看見甚麼牆壁。」我今天也要這樣對你們說 不要看到牆壁。 也許你偶然會遇上 那就找一個方法克服它, 繞過去, 穿過去都行 無論如何 就是不要屈服。
My home is not far from the Brooklyn Bridge, and during the year and a half I was on crutches, it became a sort of symbol to me. So one day near the end of my journey, I said, "Come on girls, let's take a walk across the Brooklyn Bridge." We set out on crutches. I was on crutches, my wife was next to me, my girls were doing these rockstar poses up ahead. And because walking was one of the first things I lost, I spent most of that year thinking about this most elemental of human acts. Walking upright, we are told, is the threshold of what made us human. And yet, for the four million years humans have been walking upright, the act is essentially unchanged. As my physical therapist likes to say, "Every step is a tragedy waiting to happen." You nearly fall with one leg, then you catch yourself with the other. And the biggest consequence of walking on crutches -- as I did for a year and a half -- is that you walk slower. You hurry, you get where you're going, but you get there alone. You go slow, you get where you're going, but you get there with this community you built along the way.
我家離布魯克林橋不遠 在我柱著拐杖的一年半中 它成了我人生的指標 一天,在我的旅程將近結束時 我對女兒說: 「走, 我們過布魯克林橋去!」 我帶著拐杖出發 我柱著拐杖, 老婆在一旁 女兒們走在前頭邊走邊搗笑 因為走路是我最先失去的東西 我花了幾乎那一整年 去思考這個人類最基本的動作 我們常聽說, 直立走路 是人跟其他動物最大的分別 可是40萬年來 這姿勢卻從未改變過 我的物理治療師最愛說: 「一步一驚心。」 一條腿快摔跤了 才用另一條撐住 用拐杖走路的結果 – 像我整整練了一年半 – 便是走路走慢了。 你匆匆忙忙的走 到目的地的時侯, 你是孤單一人 你慢慢的走 到目的地的時侯, 身邊卻有一大群 你路上遇到的人。
At the risk of admission, I was never nicer than the year I was on crutches. 200 years ago, a new type of pedestrian appeared in Paris. He was called a "flaneur," one who wanders the arcades. And it was the custom of those flaneurs to show they were men of leisure by taking turtles for walks and letting the reptile set the pace. And I just love this ode to slow moving. And it's become my own motto for my girls. Take a walk with a turtle. Behold the world in pause. And this idea of pausing may be the single biggest lesson I took from my journey.
不瞞你說, 那是我一生中 最和藹可親的一年。 200年前 巴黎出現了一種新的行人 他們叫做漫游者,在有拱廊的街道上漫遊 這些漫游者有一種習慣 為了表明他們是悠閒人士 他們會帶著烏龜去散步 然後以烏龜的步速走。 然後我愛上了這個慢步之歌 它也成為我給女兒的座右銘 帶烏龜去散步 從靜止中看世界 而這個靜止的觀念 也是我這趟旅程中最大的收穫
There's a quote from Moses on the side of the Liberty Bell, and it comes from a passage in the book of Leviticus, that every seven years you should let the land lay fallow. And every seven sets of seven years, the land gets an extra year of rest during which time all families are reunited and people surrounded with the ones they love. That 50th year is called the jubilee year, and it's the origin of that term. And though I'm shy of 50, it captures my own experience. My lost year was my jubilee year. By laying fallow, I planted the seeds for a healthier future and was reunited with the ones I love.
摩西有一句名言: 在自由鐘的旁邊 出自利未記 就是每7年要讓大地歇一歇 然後每7個7年 要讓它休息一整年。 然後家庭要趁這空檔團聚 被心愛的人包圍 所以第50年又叫歡樂年 這便是它的出處。 雖然我還不倒50歲 但我卻瞭解這點 我那失去的一年便是我的歡樂年。 我的休息 會讓我以後更健康 也讓我加深了跟我親愛的人的關係。
Come the one year anniversary of my journey, I went to see my surgeon, Dr. John Healey -- and by the way, Healey, great name for a doctor. He's the president of the International Society of Limb Salvage, which is the least euphemistic term I've ever heard. And I said, "Dr. Healey, if my daughters come to you one day and say, 'What should I learn from my daddy's story?' what would you tell them?" He said, "I would tell them what I know, and that is everybody dies, but not everybody lives. I want you to live."
在我旅程的一周年紀念時 我去看了我的外科醫生, 約翰喜利醫生 喜利是一個很適合醫生的名字 (Healey中的Heal有康復的意思) 他也是國際保肢學會的會長 那是我所聽過最婉轉的說法。 我問說: 「喜利醫生, 假如一天我的女兒來問你 「我該從我爸的故事中得到甚麼教訓? 」 你會怎樣回答? 他說: 「我會照實回答 每一個人都會死 可是不是每一個人都活過 我希望妳們能體驗人生。」
I wrote a letter to my girls that appears at the end of my book, "The Council of Dads," and I listed these lessons, a few of which you've heard here today: Approach the cow, pack your flipflops, don't see the wall, live the questions, harvest miracles. As I looked at this list -- to me it was sort of like a psalm book of living -- I realized, we may have done it for our girls, but it really changed us. And that is, the secret of the Council of Dads, is that my wife and I did this in an attempt to help our daughters, but it really changed us.
我給我女兒寫了一封信 信被登在我「爸爸顧問團」一書的最後 我把這些教訓都寫下來了 有幾個你們今天也聽到了 朝那頭牛走去, 帶著你的拖鞋 不要看到牆璧 要體驗人生 相信奇跡。 我列的清單, 就像人生的詩篇 我這才發現, 雖然這是為女兒寫的 最後卻改變了我們。 這就是爸爸顧問團的秘密 我跟我老婆一開始 是為了女兒而做的 最後卻改變了我們。
So I stand here today as you see now, walking without crutches or a cane. And last week I had my 18-month scans. And as you all know, anybody with cancer has to get follow-up scans. In my case it's quarterly. And all the collective minds in this room, I dare say, can never find a solution for scan-xiety. As I was going there, I was wondering, what would I say depending on what happened here. I got good news that day, and I stand here today cancer-free, walking without aid and hobbling forward.
我今天站在這兒 就像你看到的, 不需要再依賴拐杖。 上周我做了手術後18個月的掃描 大家都知道 患了癌症的人都需要做跟進掃描 我的是每3個月一次 我敢說, 在座所有人的腦汁加在一起 都想不出能讓我不緊張的方法 去檢查的途中, 我一直在想, 按照檢查結果而定, 我該說甚麼。 那天我收到了好消息 今天我的身體裏沒有癌細胞 可以不用拐杖走路 步履蹣跚的前進。
And I just want to mention briefly in passing -- I'm past my time limit -- but I just want to briefly mention in passing that one of the nice things that can come out of a conference like this is, at a similar meeting, back in the spring, Anne Wojcicki heard about our story and very quickly -- in a span of three weeks -- put the full resources of 23andMe, and we announced an initiative in July to get to decode the genome of anybody, a living person with a heart tissue, bone sarcoma. And she told me last night, in the three months since we've done it, we've gotten 300 people who've contributed to this program. And the epidemiologists here will tell you, that's half the number of people who get the disease in one year in the United States. So if you go to 23andMe, or if you go to councilofdads.com, you can click on a link. And we encourage anybody to join this effort.
我只想要總括一下 -- 我已經超時 -- 我只想要總括一下 參加這種聚會的美事之一就是 在另一個類似的聚會中, 在春天的時侯, 安.沃西基聽到了我的故事 而非常快的 -- 在短短3周內 -- 動用了「23與我」所有的力量 在7月中我們倡議 要拆解 所有患者的 骨肉瘤的基因组 她昨天晚上告訴我, 在3個月內 已經有300個人參與。 流行病學家會告訴你 那是在美國一年內 所有患上這種疾病的一半人數。 所以你可以去「23與我」 (23andMe) 或去councilofdads.com,點擊一個連結 我們鼓勵所有人來參與。
But I'll just close what I've been talking about by leaving you with this message: May you find an excuse to reach out to some long-lost pal, or to that college roommate, or to some person you may have turned away from. May you find a mud puddle to jump in someplace, or find a way to get over, around, or through any wall that stands between you and one of your dreams. And every now and then, find a friend, find a turtle, and take a long, slow walk.
在今天最後 我要說的是: 希望你們可以找到一個接觸 昔曰好友或大學室友的藉口 或一個你遠離了的人。 希望你們找到一個可以跳進去的泥坑 或找到一個可以越過那面 堵在你跟你夢想之間的牆的方法。 偶而 找一個朋友,找一只烏龜 長長地、 慢慢地、 散一散步。
Thank you very much.
謝謝你們
(Applause)
(掌聲)