My story actually began when I was four years old and my family moved to a new neighborhood in our hometown of Savannah, Georgia. And this was the 1960s when actually all the streets in this neighborhood were named after Confederate war generals. We lived on Robert E. Lee Boulevard. And when I was five, my parents gave me an orange Schwinn Sting-Ray bicycle. It had a swooping banana seat and those ape hanger handlebars that made the rider look like an orangutan. That's why they were called ape hangers. They were actually modeled on hotrod motorcycles of the 1960s, which I'm sure my mom didn't know. And one day I was exploring this cul-de-sac hidden away a few streets away. And I came back, and I wanted to turn around and get back to that street more quickly, so I decided to turn around in this big street that intersected our neighborhood, and wham! I was hit by a passing sedan. My mangled body flew in one direction, my mangled bike flew in the other. And I lay on the pavement stretching over that yellow line, and one of my neighbors came running over. "Andy, Andy, how are you doing?" she said, using the name of my older brother. (Laughter) "I'm Bruce," I said, and promptly passed out.
我的故事是从我四岁的时候开始的 当时我家搬到了一个新的街区 位于我的家乡乔治亚州萨凡纳 那时是二十世纪六十年代 这里所有的街道 都以南部联盟将军的名字命名 我们住在罗伯特E.李大道 当时我五岁 我父母给我买了一辆橘红色的施文牌鳐鱼型自行车 它装有俯冲式香蕉坐垫以及猿臂把手 人骑上去,看起来像只红猩猩 那猿臂把手果然名副其实 这种自行车实际上是根据二十世纪六十年代风行的太子车所设计的 我敢肯定我妈妈没听说过 有一天,我跑到几条街以外的 一条隐蔽的小胡同里探险 我回来的时候 我想掉个头,抄个捷径回到那条街上 于是我决定在这条大街上掉头 从这里插回我的街区 结果“砰”的一声!我被驶过的一辆小轿车撞了 我变了形的身体朝一个方向飞了出去 而我变了形的自行车向反方向飞去。 我横躺在延伸到黄线的人行道上 一位邻居看到冲了过来 “安迪,安迪,你怎么样啦?”她喊着我哥哥的名字问我 (众人笑) “我是布鲁斯,”我说,接着就晕过去了
I broke my left femur that day -- it's the largest bone in your body -- and spent the next two months in a body cast that went from my chin to the tip of my toe to my right knee, and a steel bar went from my right knee to my left ankle. And for the next 38 years, that accident was the only medically interesting thing that ever happened to me. In fact, I made a living by walking. I traveled around the world, entered different cultures, wrote a series of books about my travels, including "Walking the Bible." I hosted a television show by that name on PBS. I was, for all the world, the "walking guy." Until, in May 2008, a routine visit to my doctor and a routine blood test produced evidence in the form of an alkaline phosphatase number that something might be wrong with my bones. And my doctor, on a whim, sent me to get a full-body bone scan, which showed that there was some growth in my left leg. That sent me to an X-ray, then to an MRI. And one afternoon, I got a call from my doctor. "The tumor in your leg is not consistent with a benign tumor." I stopped walking, and it took my mind a second to convert that double negative into a much more horrifying negative. I have cancer. And to think that the tumor was in the same bone, in the same place in my body as the accident 38 years earlier -- it seemed like too much of a coincidence.
那天我的左边股骨骨折-- 这是人全身最粗壮的骨头-- 连续两个月,我的身体都被石膏裹着 从下巴一直到脚趾 到右腿膝盖 右腿膝盖到左脚脚踝 被接上了一根钢棒 在接下来的38年里 那次意外是我的病历上 唯一一件有医学价值的记录 其实,我的双腿就是我的生命 我周游世界,感受不同文化 并把我的旅途写成了一系列书 其中包括《圣地踪迹》 我主持了PBS台的一个电视节目 节目与这本书同名 在世人眼中,我就是那个徒步旅行家 直到2008年五月 一次例行的体检 一次常规血液检测 查出我的碱性磷酸酶值偏高 这表示我的骨头可能出了问题 我的医生随即决定送我去做全身骨骼检查 结果发现我左腿里长了一些东西 接着我去照X光,又去做了核磁共振成像检查 一天下午,我接到了医生的电话 “你腿里长的肿瘤 是恶性的。” 我停下了脚步 我的脑子用了一秒钟把那个双重否定句 转换成一个更另人心寒的肯定句 我患了癌症 这个肿瘤的位置 就是我三十八年前 意外受伤的部位 这真是太巧了
So that afternoon, I went back to my house, and my three year-old identical twin daughters, Eden and Tybee Feiler, came running to meet me. They'd just turned three, and they were into all things pink and purple. In fact, we called them Pinkalicious and Purplicious -- although I must say, our favorite nickname occurred on their birthday, April 15th. When they were born at 6:14 and 6:46 on April 15, 2005, our otherwise grim, humorless doctor looked at his watch, and was like, "Hmm, April 15th -- tax day. Early filer and late filer." (Laughter) The next day I came to see him. I was like, "Doctor, that was a really good joke." And he was like, "You're the writer, kid." Anyway -- so they had just turned three, and they came and they were doing this dance they had just made up where they were twirling faster and faster until they tumbled to the ground, laughing with all the glee in the world. I crumbled. I kept imagining all the walks I might not take with them, the art projects I might not mess up, the boyfriends I might not scowl at, the aisles I might not walk down. Would they wonder who I was, I thought. Would they yearn for my approval, my love, my voice?
于是,当天下午,我回到家 我三岁的同卵双胞胎女儿,伊登和泰比. 菲勒 跑过来迎接我 她们刚满三岁 喜欢粉红色和紫色的东西 我们叫她们“粉红宝宝”和“紫色宝宝”-- 尽管,我们最喜欢的昵称 是在她们4月15日出生的那天起的 她们出生的时间分别是6:14和6:46 2005年4月15日 我们那位看似面无表情,不苟言笑的接生医生看了看他的表 说:“恩,4月15日--纳税日。 早纳税人和晚纳税人。” (众人笑) 第二天我去见他,我说:“医生,那个笑话真不错。” 他回答说:“孩子,你可是个作家啊。” 先不说这个--现在她们刚满三岁 她们一边跳着自己刚编好的舞一边跑过来 一圈一圈越转越快,直到最后倒在地上 笑得春光灿烂 我崩溃了 我不禁想到,我可能再也无法跟她们一同散步 陪她们做手工作业 挑剔她们未来的男友 陪她们走上婚礼的殿堂 她们是否会好奇我是谁 她们是否会征求我的许可 渴望得到我的爱,听到我的声音
A few days later, I woke with an idea of how I might give them that voice. I would reach out to six men from all parts of my life and ask them to be present in the passages of my daughters' lives. "I believe my girls will have plenty of opportunities in their lives," I wrote these men. "They'll have loving families and welcoming homes, but they may not have me. They may not have their dad. Will you help be their dad?" And I said to myself I would call this group of men "the Council of Dads."
几天之后,我醒来后想到 我以后该怎么让她们听到我的声音 我会向我生命中 最重要的六个人求助 请他们出现在 我女儿们成长的各个阶段 “我相信我女儿们的生活中会充满各种机遇。” 我向这些人写到 “她们会拥有美满的家庭和温暖的家, 但是我有可能不在她们身旁。 她们的爸爸也许不能陪伴她们。 你能帮忙做她们的爸爸吗?” 我对自己说 我会把这些人称为“爸爸军团”。
Now as soon as I had this idea, I decided I wouldn't tell my wife. Okay. She's a very upbeat, naturally excited person. There's this idea in this culture -- I don't have to tell you -- that you sort of "happy" your way through a problem. We should focus on the positive. My wife, as I said, she grew up outside of Boston. She's got a big smile. She's got a big personality. She's got big hair -- although, she told me recently, I can't say she has big hair, because if I say she has big hair, people will think she's from Texas. And it's apparently okay to marry a boy from Georgia, but not to have hair from Texas. And actually, in her defense, if she were here right now, she would point out that, when we got married in Georgia, there were three questions on the marriage certificate license, the third of which was, "Are you related?" (Laughter) I said, "Look, in Georgia at least we want to know. In Arkansas they don't even ask." What I didn't tell her is, if she said, "Yes," you could jump. You don't need the 30-day waiting period. Because you don't need the get-to-know-you session at that point.
我一想到这个主意, 就决定不告诉我妻子 她是个非常乐观 活泼开朗的人 我们的文化中有这样一个思维--我没必要告诉你-- 你可以乐观地对待困难 我们要乐观地对待一切 我妻子在波士顿的郊外长大 她的笑总是很灿烂,她的心怀非常宽广 留着一头蓬松的头发 尽管她最近告诉我,说我不能再说她的头发蓬松 因为如果我这么说 人们会以为她是从德州来的。 很显然,她不介意嫁个一个乔治亚州来的小伙子, 但绝不能容忍长着德州人的头发。 事实上,为她说句公道话,如果她今天在这里, 她会指出,当我们在乔治亚州结婚时, 结婚证上 因着三个问题, 第三个问题就是:“你们是否有血缘关系?” (众人笑) 我说:“看啊,在乔治亚州,至少我们还问一句, 而在阿肯萨州,人们连问都不问。” 我没告诉她,如果她回答“有”,那就皆大欢喜了, 这就免了那三十天的等待期。 因为你可以跳过相互认识的阶段。
So I wasn't going to tell her about this idea, but the next day I couldn't control myself, I told her. And she loved the idea, but she quickly started rejecting my nominees. She was like, "Well, I love him, but I would never ask him for advice." So it turned out that starting a council of dads was a very efficient way to find out what my wife really thought of my friends.
我没打算把这个主意告诉她, 但是第二天,我实在忍不住,就告诉了她, 她很赞成这个主意, 但是,她很快就开始挑剔我的候选人, 她说:“我挺喜欢他,但是我可不会向他征求建议。” 结果,挑选“爸爸军团”成员的过程 是探查我妻子对我朋友所持看法的 有效途径。
(Laughter)
(众人笑)
So we decided that we needed a set of rules, and we came up with a number. And the first one was no family, only friends. We thought our family would already be there. Second, men only. We were trying to fill the dad-space in the girls' lives. And then third, sort of a dad for every side. We kind of went through my personality and tried to get a dad who represented each different thing. So what happened was I wrote a letter to each of these men. And rather than send it, I decided to read it to them in person. Linda, my wife, joked that it was like having six different marriage proposals. I sort of friend-married each of these guys.
于是我们决定制定一系列规则, 我们定了好几条。 第一条是,非家庭成员,只能是朋友。 我们认为,我们的家人总是会出手相助的。 第二,仅限男性。 我们要尽力让父爱充满女儿的生活。 第三,从不同方面做为爸爸。 我们分析了我个性的方方面面, 并且找一个能代表我某一面个性的爸爸。 接着,我给每一个都写了一封信。 我并没有把信寄给他们, 而是决定把信当面念给他们听。 我妻子,琳达,开玩笑说这好像是给在做六段不同的求婚书。 我或多或少地跟这几位男性朋友缔结了婚姻关系。
And the first of these guys was Jeff Schumlin. Now Jeff led this trip I took to Europe when I graduated from high school in the early 1980s. And on that first day we were in this youth hostel in a castle. And I snuck out behind, and there was a moat, a fence and a field of cows. And Jeff came up beside me and said, "So, have you ever been cow tipping?" I was like, "Cow tipping? He was like, "Yeah. Cows sleep standing up. So if you approach them from behind, down wind, you can push them over and they go thud in the mud." So before I had a chance to determine whether this was right or not, we had jumped the moat, we had climbed the fence, we were tiptoeing through the dung and approaching some poor, dozing cow.
这几位男士中的第一位是杰夫. 沙姆林。 杰夫是我去欧洲旅行时的领队, 当时是二十世纪八十年代初,我刚刚高中毕业。 到那的第一天,我们住在一家建于一座城堡里的青年旅舍里。 我偷偷溜了出去。 那里有一条护城河,一道围墙和一片牧场。 杰夫走到我身边说: “你让牛翻过跟斗吗?” 我纳闷:“牛翻跟斗?” 他说:“对啊,牛都是站着睡觉的, 如果你从它们身后顺风靠近它们, 你就能把它们翻倒在泥里。” 我还没来得及想清楚这么做合不合适, 我们就跳下护城河,翻过了围墙, 我们踮起脚尖,躲开牛粪, 靠近一只正打瞌睡的倒霉牛。
So a few weeks after my diagnosis, we went up to Vermont, and I decided to put Jeff as the first person in the Council of Dads. And we went to this apple orchard, and I read him this letter. "Will you help be their dad?" And I got to the end -- he was crying and I was crying -- and then he looked at me, and he said, "Yes." I was like, "Yes?" I kind of had forgotten there was a question at the heart of my letter. And frankly, although I keep getting asked this, it never occurred to me that anybody would turn me down under the circumstances. And then I asked him a question, which I ended up asking to all the dads and ended up really encouraging me to write this story down in a book. And that was, "What's the one piece of advice you would give to my girls?"
于是,在我被确诊之后, 我们去了佛蒙特, 我决定让杰夫做“爸爸军团”的第一位成员。 我们去到一个苹果园,我给他念了这封信。 “你们帮忙做她们的爸爸吗?” 我读到最后--他哭了,我也哭了-- 接着他看着我,说:“好的。” 我说:“真的?” 我差点忘了,信的主旨包含了一个问题。 很显然,即使我不停问这个问题, 我从没想过,在这样的情况下, 有人会拒绝我的请求。 接着我问了他一个问题,我问了其他爸爸同样的问题, 最后我深受鼓舞,并把这个故事写进书里。 这问题是:“你会给我的女儿们 什么样的忠告?”
And Jeff's advice was, "Be a traveller, not a tourist. Get off the bus. Seek out what's different. Approach the cow." "So it's 10 years from now," I said, "and my daughters are about to take their first trip abroad, and I'm not here. What would you tell them?" He said, "I would approach this journey as a young child might approach a mud puddle. You can bend over and look at your reflection in the mirror and maybe run your finger and make a small ripple, or you can jump in and thrash around and see what it feels like, what it smells like." And as he talked he had that glint in his eye that I first saw back in Holland -- the glint that says, "Let's go cow tipping," even though we never did tip the cow, even though no one tips the cow, even though cows don't sleep standing up. He said, "I want to see you back here girls, at the end of this experience, covered in mud."
杰夫的道理是: “做个旅行家,而不做游客。 从观光巴士上下来,找出两者间的不同之处。 和那头牛亲密接触。” “那么十年以后,” 我说, “我的女儿们第一次出国旅行,而我不在了, 你会给她们什么忠告?” 他说:“我会像小孩子走近水洼那样 踏上这段路程, 你可以弯下腰看看自己的倒影, 或者用手指点出一圈微笑的涟漪, 你可以围着它蹦蹦跳跳,弄得水花四溅, 用手摸一摸,鼻子闻一闻。” 他一边说,眼里一边闪着一丝光亮, 我在荷兰时就曾看见过-- 那丝光亮仿佛在说:“我们去翻牛跟斗吧。” 即使我们后来并未这么做, 即使没有人会去推那头奶牛, 即使奶牛不是站着睡觉的。 他说:“姑娘们,我希望你们玩到浑身是泥以后 再回来。”
Two weeks after my diagnosis, a biopsy confirmed I had a seven-inch osteosarcoma in my left femur. Six hundred Americans a year get an osteosarcoma. Eighty-five percent are under 21. Only a hundred adults a year get one of these diseases. Twenty years ago, doctors would have cut off my leg and hoped, and there was a 15 percent survival rate. And then in the 1980's, they determined that one particular cocktail of chemo could be effective, and within weeks I had started that regimen. And since we are in a medical room, I went through four and a half months of chemo. Actually I had Cisplatin, Doxorubicin and very high-dose Methotrexate.
被确诊两周之后,我所做的活组织检查证实 我左腿股骨长了一颗 长达7英寸的骨肉瘤。 美国每年有六百人身上长有骨肉瘤。 百分之八十五的患者是未成年人。 每年只有一百个成年人 患上此类疾病。 20年以前,医生会建议我截肢, 这样还只能指望15%生还的可能。 到了十九世纪八十年代,医生们认定 特定的混合化疗能够起到治疗的效果。 于是,数周之后,我开始了我的疗程。 我们在病房里, 我接受了四个半月的化疗。 实际上,我使用了顺氯氨铂,链霉素 以及高剂量的甲氨蝶呤。
And then I had a 15-hour surgery in which my surgeon, Dr. John Healey at Memorial Sloan-Kettering Hospital in New York, took out my left femur and replaced it with titanium. And if you did see the Sanjay special, you saw these enormous screws that they screwed into my pelvis. Then he took my fibula from my calf, cut it out and then relocated it to my thigh, where it now lives. And what he actually did was he de-vascularized it from my calf and re-vascularized it in my thigh and then connected it to the good parts of my knee and my hip. And then he took out a third of my quadriceps muscle. This is a surgery so rare only two human beings have survived it before me. And my reward for surviving it was to go back for four more months of chemo. It was, as we said in my house, a lost year.
接着,我接受了一个长达15个小时的手术, 纽约市斯隆凯特琳医院的 约翰. 希里医生主刀 取出了我左腿股骨, 并用金属钛取而代之。 如果你看过Sanjay特辑, 你就看过这些巨型的钻机, 他们用这些钻机转进我的股盆。 他把我的腓骨从小腿肚里取出, 将它切下,然后把它接到我的大腿里, 它现在就在那里安家了。 他将我腓骨与其相连接的血管分离, 然后把它和我大腿中的血管相衔接, 接着把它 和我膝盖以及臀部完好的部位连接起来。 最后他切除了我三分之一的四头肌。 这是个难度极高的手术, 在我之前接受手术的人之中只有两人存活。 我手术成功后的第一个奖励 就是回去再进行四个月的化疗。 我们在家时曾说,这一年 是迷失的一年。
Because in those opening weeks, we all had nightmares. And one night I had a nightmare that I was walking through my house, sat at my desk and saw photographs of someone else's children sitting on my desk. And I remember a particular one night that, when you told that story of -- I don't know where you are Dr. Nuland -- of William Sloane Coffin -- it made me think of it. Because I was in the hospital after, I think it was my fourth round of chemo when my numbers went to zero, and I had basically no immune system. And they put me in an infectious disease ward at the hospital. And anybody who came to see me had to cover themselves in a mask and cover all of the extraneous parts of their body. And one night I got a call from my mother-in-law that my daughters, at that time three and a half, were missing me and feeling my absence. And I hung up the phone, and I put my face in my hands, and I screamed this silent scream. And what you said, Dr. Nuland -- I don't know where you are -- made me think of this today. Because the thought that came to my mind was that the feeling that I had was like a primal scream.
因为在开始的那几周里,我们经常做恶梦。 一天晚上,我做了个噩梦,梦见我走过自己家房子, 坐在我的书桌前,看见桌上摆着 别人孩子的照片。 我记得一天晚上,当人讲起- “Nuland医生,我不知道你在哪里”的故事- 讲起 William Sloane Coffin的故事- 激起了我的同感。 因为我后来进了医院,那是我化疗的第四阶段, 我所有的指数都变为零,我的免疫系统彻底罢工了。 他们让我住在医院的一间传染病病房。 所有来探视的人都必须戴口罩, 并且不能露出身体任何部位。 一天晚上我接到我岳母的电话, 她说我的年仅三岁半的女儿们 因为看不到我而想我了。 我挂了电话, 用手捂住我的脸, 发出了无声的叫喊。 当你说:“Nuland 医生-你在哪里啊”- 让我想起了当时的情况。 因为这让我想起了 当时的我 所发出的那原始的叫喊。
And what was so striking -- and one of the messages I want to leave you here with today -- is the experience. As I became less and less human -- and at this moment in my life, I was probably 30 pounds less than I am right now. Of course, I had no hair and no immune system. They were actually putting blood inside my body. At that moment I was less and less human, I was also, at the same time, maybe the most human I've ever been. And what was so striking about that time was, instead of repulsing people, I was actually proving to be a magnet for people. People were incredibly drawn. When my wife and I had kids, we thought it would be all-hands-on-deck. Instead, it was everybody running the other way. And when I had cancer, we thought it'd be everybody running the other way. Instead, it was all-hands-on-deck. And when people came to me, rather than being incredibly turned off by what they saw -- I was like a living ghost -- they were incredibly moved to talk about what was going on in their own lives.
那真是痛彻心扉- 今天我要和大家分享的几点之一- 就是这次经历: 我越来越不成人样- 我当时的体重比现在轻了十几斤。 当然啦,我头发都掉光了,免疫系统也瘫痪了。 他们当时一直在给我输血。 我越来越不像一个人, 但同时,我也 从来没有活得那么有人味。 最震撼人心的是, 我非但没有令别人疏远我, 反而跟他们更加亲近了。 人们都神奇地被吸引来了。 当我和我妻子有了孩子,我们以为大家都会围在我们身边, 结果,压根没有人来。 而当我得了癌症,我们以为人们都会离我而去, 结果,大家都围过来了。 当他们来看我, 他们并没有被我都样子吓倒- 我就跟一个鬼似的- 我没想到他们都被打动了, 自愿告诉我他们的生活近况。
Cancer, I found, is a passport to intimacy. It is an invitation, maybe even a mandate, to enter the most vital arenas of human life, the most sensitive and the most frightening, the ones that we never want to go to, but when we do go there, we feel incredibly transformed when we do. And this also happened to my girls as they began to see, and, we thought, maybe became an ounce more compassionate. One day, my daughter Tybee, Tybee came to me, and she said, "I have so much love for you in my body, daddy, I can't stop giving you hugs and kisses. And when I have no more love left, I just drink milk, because that's where love comes from." (Laughter) And one night my daughter Eden came to me. And as I lifted my leg out of bed, she reached for my crutches and handed them to me. In fact, if I cling to one memory of this year, it would be walking down a darkened hallway with five spongy fingers grasping the handle underneath my hand. I didn't need the crutch anymore, I was walking on air.
癌症,让我与人更加亲近。 它像一张请柬,或一个命令, 让我进入人生中最重要, 最为敏感,最令人不敢触及的领域。 我们总是回避它, 但当我们敢于直面它, 我们就脱胎换骨了。 我的女儿们也有相似的经历, 她们比以前更加有爱心了。 一天,我女儿泰比, 来到我跟前,对我说:“爸爸,我身体里装满了对你的爱, 我要不停地抱你亲你, 我的爱用完了,我就喝牛奶, 因为爱从牛奶里来。” (众人笑) 一天晚上,我女儿伊登靠了过来。 我把腿抬下床, 她便把我的拐杖递给我。 实际上,如果问我,这一年里,印象最深的记忆是什么, 那便是用我浮肿的手指 紧紧撑着拐杖 走下漆黑的走廊。 我再也不需要那根拐杖了, 我仿佛漫步于云间。
And one of the profound things that happened was this act of actually connecting to all these people. And it made me think -- and I'll just note for the record -- one word that I've only heard once actually was when we were all doing Tony Robbins yoga yesterday -- the one word that has not been mentioned in this seminar actually is the word "friend." And yet from everything we've been talking about -- compliance, or addiction, or weight loss -- we now know that community is important, and yet it's one thing we don't actually bring in. And there was something incredibly profound about sitting down with my closest friends and telling them what they meant to me. And one of the things that I learned is that over time, particularly men, who used to be non-communicative, are becoming more and more communicative. And that particularly happened -- there was one in my life -- is this Council of Dads that Linda said, what we were talking about, it's like what the moms talk about at school drop-off.
其中一间意义重大的事情是, 能够与身边这些人走得更近。 这让我想到-我顺便提一下- 一个我只听过一次的词 那是昨天我们跟着Tony Robbins做瑜伽的时候- 这次研讨会没有提到的一个词是 朋友。 我们谈论了许许多多话题- 顺从,嗜好,减肥- 我们现在知道社区的重要性, 但是,我们都能够为此尽一份力。 与我的朋友促膝长谈, 告诉他们,他们对于我而已有多么重要, 这对我产生了深远的影响。 我懂得了:时间一长, 那些过去不善言辞的人, 慢慢地越来越会说话。 在我生活中,就有个实实在在的例子- 爸爸军团, 琳达说:我们所谈论的, 就像妈妈们在送完孩子上学后聊天的话题
And no one captures this modern manhood to me more than David Black. Now David is my literary agent. He's about five-foot three and a half on a good day, standing fully upright in cowboy boots. And on kind of the manly-male front, he answers the phone -- I can say this I guess because you've done it here -- he answers the phone, "Yo, motherfucker." He gives boring speeches about obscure bottles of wine, and on his 50th birthday he bought a convertible sports car -- although, like a lot of men, he's impatient; he bought it on his 49th. But like a lot of modern men, he hugs, he bakes, he leaves work early to coach Little League. Someone asked me if he cried when I asked him to be in the council of dads. I was like, "David cries when you invite him to take a walk." (Laughter) But he's a literary agent, which means he's a broker of dreams in a world where most dreams don't come true. And this is what we wanted him to capture -- what it means to have setbacks and then aspirations. And I said, "What's the most valuable thing you can give to a dreamer?" And he said, "A belief in themselves." "But when I came to see you," I said, "I didn't believe in myself. I was at a wall." He said, "I don't see the wall," and I'm telling you the same, Don't see the wall. You may encounter one from time to time, but you've got to find a way to get over it, around it, or through it. But whatever you do, don't succumb to it. Don't give in to the wall.
在我看来,现代好男人的典范 非David Black莫属了。 现在David是我的文稿代理人。 天气好的时候,他脚上穿一双牛仔靴, 站直了身高将近一米六五。 他接电话的时候,男人味十足- 我想我可以说这句话,因为已经有人说过了- 他一接电话:“喂,草泥马的。” 他会就红酒瓶发表乏味的长篇大论, 他还说他五十岁大寿时要买一辆敞篷跑车。 尽管,他和大多数男人一样没什么耐性;他四十九岁的时候就忍不住买了这辆车。 但是,和许多现代男人一样,他会给人拥抱,会做糕点, 会提早下班去做青少年棒球联盟的教练。 有人问我,我请他加入爸爸军团时,他有没有哭。 我说:“David只有当你请他去散步的时候才会哭。” (众人笑) 他是一个文稿代理人, 这意味着,他在一个人们往往不会美梦成真的世界里,扮演着梦想的经纪人。 这就是我们想让他展示的, 虽有缺点,但是之后充满热情。 我说:“你对一个追梦人最有价值的忠告是什么?” 他是:“他们对自己的信念。” “但是当我来看你的时候,” 我说,“我并不相信自己。 我感觉很骑墙。” 他说:“我看不见那道墙,” 我也要告诉你们: 别理会那道墙。 你可能会不停地碰壁, 但是你必须找到绕过去,躲过去,穿过去的方法。 不论你做什么,不要屈服, 不要被那道墙打倒。
My home is not far from the Brooklyn Bridge, and during the year and a half I was on crutches, it became a sort of symbol to me. So one day near the end of my journey, I said, "Come on girls, let's take a walk across the Brooklyn Bridge." We set out on crutches. I was on crutches, my wife was next to me, my girls were doing these rockstar poses up ahead. And because walking was one of the first things I lost, I spent most of that year thinking about this most elemental of human acts. Walking upright, we are told, is the threshold of what made us human. And yet, for the four million years humans have been walking upright, the act is essentially unchanged. As my physical therapist likes to say, "Every step is a tragedy waiting to happen." You nearly fall with one leg, then you catch yourself with the other. And the biggest consequence of walking on crutches -- as I did for a year and a half -- is that you walk slower. You hurry, you get where you're going, but you get there alone. You go slow, you get where you're going, but you get there with this community you built along the way.
我家就离布鲁克林大桥不远, 我一年半的时间里一直拄拐, 它都成了我的一个标志。 一天,我回到家, 我说:“来吧,姑娘们,我们到布鲁克林大桥上散步去。” 我们带上拐杖出门了。 我拄着拐,我妻子走在我身边, 我女儿们在前面,一边走一边摆出摇滚明星的架势。 因为我失去了行走的能力, 那一年我把大部分时间都花在了 对这件最基本人类活动的思考上。 我们知道,直立行走 标志着我们是人类。 然而,在四百万年里,人类一直是直立行走, 这项活动没有本质上的变化。 我的理疗师喜欢这么说: “一步一悲剧。” 你的一条腿站不住了, 你就用另一条腿支撑自己。 使用拐杖行走的最大弊病- 我拄拐一年半- 就是行走缓慢。 如果你走得太快, 率先到达目的地,但你到时你只有一个人。 你慢慢地走,同样可以到达目的地, 但是你身边有其他 与你同行的人为伴。
At the risk of admission, I was never nicer than the year I was on crutches. 200 years ago, a new type of pedestrian appeared in Paris. He was called a "flaneur," one who wanders the arcades. And it was the custom of those flaneurs to show they were men of leisure by taking turtles for walks and letting the reptile set the pace. And I just love this ode to slow moving. And it's become my own motto for my girls. Take a walk with a turtle. Behold the world in pause. And this idea of pausing may be the single biggest lesson I took from my journey.
可能大家不会相信,但是,我拄拐的那一年 是我对待他人最友善的一年。 两百年前, 巴黎出现了一个新的人群。 这些人被称为浪荡子,整天游手好闲。 这些浪荡子 喜欢给乌龟散步, 跟着这些爬行动物的步调走, 以此为乐。 我很欣赏这种放慢步调的情操。 这成了我给女儿们树立的人生信条。 与龟散步。 让世界稍作停顿。 而这一举停顿, 可能是我在旅程中学到的最为重要的一课。
There's a quote from Moses on the side of the Liberty Bell, and it comes from a passage in the book of Leviticus, that every seven years you should let the land lay fallow. And every seven sets of seven years, the land gets an extra year of rest during which time all families are reunited and people surrounded with the ones they love. That 50th year is called the jubilee year, and it's the origin of that term. And though I'm shy of 50, it captures my own experience. My lost year was my jubilee year. By laying fallow, I planted the seeds for a healthier future and was reunited with the ones I love.
在自由钟上 刻着一句摩西的名言, 它出自《圣经》中《利未记》里的一段话, 他说,每隔七年,你须要让土地休耕。 每过七七四十九年, 土地又休耕一年, 此时,所有家庭相聚在一起, 人人都与他们所爱的人团聚。 这第五十年被称作“禧年”, 这就是这个名称的由来。 尽管我还不想那么快到五十岁, 但这一年是我活得最精彩的一年。 我失落的那一年是我的禧年。 通过休耕, 我为更为健康的未来孕育了希望的种子, 并与我所爱的人们团聚在一起。
Come the one year anniversary of my journey, I went to see my surgeon, Dr. John Healey -- and by the way, Healey, great name for a doctor. He's the president of the International Society of Limb Salvage, which is the least euphemistic term I've ever heard. And I said, "Dr. Healey, if my daughters come to you one day and say, 'What should I learn from my daddy's story?' what would you tell them?" He said, "I would tell them what I know, and that is everybody dies, but not everybody lives. I want you to live."
康复一年之后, 我去探望为我动手术的约翰. 希里医生。 话说回来,“希里”这个名字还挺适合医生的。 他是国际保肢协会主席。 这是我听过最直白的称谓。 我说:“希里医生,如果某天我女儿们来找你, 说:‘我们可以从爸爸的故事里学到什么?’ 你会怎么回答?” 他说:“我会告诉她们, 每个人终一死, 但并不是每个人都能活下来。 我希望你们活下去。”
I wrote a letter to my girls that appears at the end of my book, "The Council of Dads," and I listed these lessons, a few of which you've heard here today: Approach the cow, pack your flipflops, don't see the wall, live the questions, harvest miracles. As I looked at this list -- to me it was sort of like a psalm book of living -- I realized, we may have done it for our girls, but it really changed us. And that is, the secret of the Council of Dads, is that my wife and I did this in an attempt to help our daughters, but it really changed us.
我给女儿们写了一封信, 这封信被收录在《爸爸军团》的结尾部分。 我在信中列出了这些道理, 大家今天已经听过了: 接近奶牛,打包拖鞋, 无视墙壁, 勤问问题, 收获奇迹。 我看着这张单子-感觉它就像一本充满至理名言的《诗篇》(出自《圣经》)- 我意识到,这原本是对我女儿们说的, 而它却着实改变了我们。 我和我妻子 组建爸爸军团的初衷 是为了帮助我们女儿的成长, 而这却改变了我们。
So I stand here today as you see now, walking without crutches or a cane. And last week I had my 18-month scans. And as you all know, anybody with cancer has to get follow-up scans. In my case it's quarterly. And all the collective minds in this room, I dare say, can never find a solution for scan-xiety. As I was going there, I was wondering, what would I say depending on what happened here. I got good news that day, and I stand here today cancer-free, walking without aid and hobbling forward.
今天我站在这里, 你们可以看到,我并没有拄拐。 我上周刚做完长达十八周的定期扫描, 大家知道, 得过癌症都人都要接受复查扫描。 我则是每季度做一次。 我感说,在座的各位, 没有谁能抑制住扫描时的紧张情绪。 去做扫描的路上,我一直在想, 扫描的结果决定我要说的话。 那天,我得到了好消息, 今天,我早已摆脱了癌症,站在这里, 无需拄拐, 走路不会一瘸一拐。
And I just want to mention briefly in passing -- I'm past my time limit -- but I just want to briefly mention in passing that one of the nice things that can come out of a conference like this is, at a similar meeting, back in the spring, Anne Wojcicki heard about our story and very quickly -- in a span of three weeks -- put the full resources of 23andMe, and we announced an initiative in July to get to decode the genome of anybody, a living person with a heart tissue, bone sarcoma. And she told me last night, in the three months since we've done it, we've gotten 300 people who've contributed to this program. And the epidemiologists here will tell you, that's half the number of people who get the disease in one year in the United States. So if you go to 23andMe, or if you go to councilofdads.com, you can click on a link. And we encourage anybody to join this effort.
我只想简短地提一下-我的时间过了- 我最后简短地说一下 在这样的会议可以产生很多积极作用, 有一个类似的会议, 发生在春天, 安妮·沃西基(谷歌创始人布林之妻)听了我们的故事, 就马上-在短短三周时间里- 就将23andMe公司的所有资源, 我们在七月宣布启动 为每个 长了心脏组织肉瘤的人 破译基因组。 她昨晚告诉我,在这三个月里, 我们这个项目得到了三百个人的帮助。 在场的流行病学家可以证实, 这相当于美国一年里 患该病人数的一半。 如果你去上23andMe 或councilofdads.com,你可以点击一个链接。 我们鼓励任何人贡献一份力量。
But I'll just close what I've been talking about by leaving you with this message: May you find an excuse to reach out to some long-lost pal, or to that college roommate, or to some person you may have turned away from. May you find a mud puddle to jump in someplace, or find a way to get over, around, or through any wall that stands between you and one of your dreams. And every now and then, find a friend, find a turtle, and take a long, slow walk.
但是,在结束前, 我想告诉大家: 如果有机会,你可以联系一下某个久违的老友, 大学时的室友, 或是某个你曾拒绝帮助的人。 你也可以找一个泥洼跳进去, 或是想办法避开,绕过,或者穿越 任何一座拦在你与梦想之间的墙壁。 偶尔, 找个朋友,找只小龟, 闲庭信步一番。
Thank you very much.
非常感谢大家。
(Applause)
(众人鼓掌)