I am a late bloomer. In fact, a friend of mine you may have heard of -- Chris Rock -- he once called me the most late-blooming mofo he’d ever met.
我是一個大器晚成的人 事實上,我有位朋友 各位可能聽過 克里斯‧洛克 他曾經稱我為:他所見過 最大器晚成的混帳東西
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
Now, some people might consider that snide, but I revel in it. I’m 55, and I’m here in this curvy body as someone who has done the work, lived the life walked the walk in these very high heels --
有些人可能會覺得那樣很惡毒 但我倒很享受 我五十五歲了 現在這個擁有好身材的我 已經做完了該做的事 經歷過人生 而且是穿著這雙 很高的高跟鞋一路走來的
(Laughter)
因此有資格在教堂及法庭上作證
and therefore is qualified to testify in the church and in the court of law that it does, in fact, get greater later.
事實上,人生確實會漸入佳境
(Applause and cheers)
(掌聲與歡呼)
Now coming to this realization wasn’t easy. At the age of 38, I was a very successful fashion advertising executive, and I was really living what most people considered a dream life. I was jet-setting to fashion shows; I was receiving free designer clothes; I was double-kissing my way across the globe.
得到這樣的領悟並不容易 三十八歲時,我是個 非常成功的時尚廣告業主管 我過的生活,是大部分人的夢想 我搭噴射機去參加時裝秀 我能拿到免費的設計師服飾 一路上如魚得水 直到我縱橫全球
(Laughter)
是真的
I was. And, you know, it was everything that I ever wanted it to be, and then one day I realized I was only pretending to be happy. But I couldn’t blow up my good life in my prime earning years, right? Wrong. Which leads me to lessons my mother Lolly taught me.
那完全是我的夢想成真 但是有一天我意識到 我只是在假裝快樂 但我總不能在本應賺大錢的年紀 搞砸掉我的好生活,對吧? 錯了 這就要談到我母親拉莉 教會我的幾件事
Lolly’s number one lesson: don’t settle. Don’t settle. Now I’m aware that my well-paying, glamorous career is not exactly the humdrum, “I hate my job” stereotype that most people equate with settling. But it was a settle for me, because when I actually did quit my job at the age of 38, it was with the intention that every day be a great adventure. Now sometimes it was a very scary adventure, like being broke from the age of 40 to 45. But even still, I wouldn’t trade that for the safe and settled version, because if I had, I would not be here with y’all today.
拉莉的第一課 別將就 別將就 我很清楚我那個 賺很多且令人嚮往的職涯 算不上是大部分人 認為"將就"的那種 普遍"我恨我的工作"的刻板印象 但對我來說就是將就 因為當我真的在三十八歲 辭掉了工作時 我的意圖是想要 每天都能是場很棒的冒險 有時會是很嚇人的冒險,比如說 在四十歲到四十五歲時破產 儘管如此,我也不願選擇 過安全穩定的生活 要不然我今天就不會 和大家一起在這裡了
(Applause and cheers)
(掌聲與歡呼)
Yeah. So you know how when you like, buck the system and go against the status quo, it makes people really uncomfortable? And invariably, people will ask, “Where do you get your confidence?”
是啊 我們都知道當你 反抗體制並對抗現狀時 有一些人會特別反感 他們一定會問你 "你哪來的自信啊?"
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
Now some people mean it as a compliment, but very often it’s shady ...
有些人這麼說是表示讚許 不過通常都是笑裡藏刀的…
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
and it's a silent judgment. And to those people, I respond with a quote from this Brooklyn poet you may have heard of, Jay-Z.
一種沉默的批判 對那些人,我的回應是引述一位 你們可能聽過的布魯克林詩人 Jay-Z (笑聲)
(Laughter)
“She get it from her mama.” I am she, and my mama is the epitome of a grown-ass woman: someone who has always been very comfortable in her skin. In 1965, my mom was 37 years old. She already had one child, my big brother, Gerry, and she married my dad, but she kept her maiden name. And then she had my sister Stephanie and I back-to-back, but she continued to work because she refused to be beholden to my dad for money. And I bet my mom was the only woman in our neighborhood who cooked once a week. She made Sunday dinner. It was an extravaganza, but that’s all she did. She cooked one day a week.
"她是從她媽媽那裡遺傳到的" 我就是"她",而我媽媽 就是成熟女性的代表 是對於自己的外表 感到非常自在的人 1965 年時,我媽媽三十七歲 她已經育有一子,我哥哥傑瑞 她嫁給我爸爸 但保留了她的娘家姓 接著她又接連生了 我姐姐史蒂芬妮和我 她持續地工作 因為拒絕被我爸在金錢上綁架 我敢說媽媽是我們鄰坊中 唯一一位一週煮飯一次的女性 她會做週末的聚餐 非常的華麗 但她也就只做這些 一週煮飯一次
My mom is just amazing. And she also had this ability of talking to her children about real life and making sure that we understood the virtues of going your own way, which is why I believe today at the age of 94, and a recent widow, my mom is still carving out ways to find and determine and define her own version of happiness. She cooks for herself. She maintains her home exactly as she sees fit. She enjoys champagne and R-rated films.
我媽媽很不簡單 她還有種能力,可以和孩子 談真實人生 並確保我們了解 走自己的路有什麼好處 這就是為什麼我相信 即使我媽媽如今已九十四歲 而且剛成為寡婦 她仍然在努力設法 找到、決定和定義 自己所認定的快樂 她自己煮飯來吃 照自己的意思打理她的房子 她很享受香檳和限制級電影
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
(Applause)
(掌聲)
My mom has managed to maintain her glamour, her sex appeal, you know, her independence. And I really hope some of that rubs off on me.
我媽媽有辦法維持 她的魅力、性吸引力 還有她的獨立性 我真希望我也有 感染到一些她的特質
You know, recently I’ve been thinking about one of the best lessons that my mom ever taught me, which is the literal beauty in aging. Now, we all know that Black don’t crack, right? OK... Black don’t crack. So at the age of 50, my mom could have easily passed for the age of 35. And you know, that’s back during the time when people -- women were really coy about their age. “Oh, a lady never tells her age.” My mom never subscribed to that. She was always proud of her age. As a matter of fact, she believes you may not tell your age, but your hands and your neck will.
最近,我一直在想著 我媽媽教過我最棒的一課 那就是真的越老越美 大家都聽過"黑人不會變老"吧? 好… 黑人不會變老 所以,我媽媽五十歲時 也很容易被認成是三十五歲 要知道,在那個時候 女性是不願談年齡的 "喔,淑女是不會 透漏她的年齡的" 我媽媽從來不認同那一點 她向來以她的年齡為傲 事實上,她相信 你可能不願意說你的年齡 但從你的手和脖子就能看出來
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
So make peace with aging, or prepare for an entire wardrobe of gloves and turtlenecks.
所以,和老化和平共處 要不然就在衣櫥中準備 滿滿的手套和高領衣服吧
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
Yeah, my mom has always done these wonderful things like that, but I wish she could rub off on everyone because I feel like now I’m looking at even 20-somethings who have a fear of aging. I watch them on social media, like, you know, compulsively practiclng the latest 10-second dance craze, and it feels like their angsty and asking, “Is that all there is?” And I just want to yell, “Yes, that is all there is if all you’re going to do is settle for dancing to someone else’s TikTok beat!”
是啊,我媽媽總是會 做這些很棒的事 但我希望她能影響到每個人 因為我覺得現在連 二十多歲的人都會怕變老了 我看他們在社群媒體上 強迫自己練習最新 最夯的十秒鐘舞蹈 可以感覺到他們的不安 在問說"人生就這樣了嗎?" 而我只想大喊 "是的,就只有這樣 如果你要對人生將就的話 那就跟著別人拍抖音"
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
(Applause and cheers)
(掌聲與歡呼)
Settling is very insidious. It keeps us dancing on this string, waiting for this elusive, better day to miraculously appear. Now thanks to Lolly’s tutelage, that’s not my story. In fact, I take each day as it comes but I try to make it better than the last.
將就是種隱患,會暗中滋生 它會讓我們任由別人擺佈 等著那難以找到的 美好生活奇蹟般地出現 好在有拉莉的指導 我沒走上這條路 事實上 我會把握每一天的到來 但試著讓它比昨天更好
So, you know, I’m single ... but I’m always ready to mingle.
所以,你知道 即使我單身… 還是隨時都準備可以交往
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
I’m an entrepreneur, but I keep multiple revenue streams. I’m a solo traveler, which means I’ve done the sepia version of “Eat, Pray, Love” on six continents. Because I don’t settle. What that means is that I also don’t second-guess my decisions, and I’m also not worried about my future because I’m firmly rooted in the present. Settling is a really sinister thing. It will keep you up at night tossing and turning, trying to figure out why and trying to answer that age-old question of “Is that all there is?” Personally, I don’t have time for that, because the only time I want to be kept up all night long tossing and turning is when I’m in the company of a fine-ass man.
我是企業家 但我維持多種不同收入來源 我是獨行的旅人,意思就是我到過 六大洲完成了黑人版的 《享受吧!一個人的旅行》 因為我不會將就 意思就是,我不會 事後批評我的決策 我也不會擔心我的未來 因為我穩穩地紮根在當下 將就真的是很不好 它會讓你晚上翻來覆去睡不著覺 試著搞懂為什麼 並試著解答那古老的問題 "人生就這樣了嗎?" 我個人沒時間搞這些 只有一種情況我會想要 整晚翻來覆去睡不著覺 就是我旁邊躺了個屁股很讚的男伴
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
(Applause and cheers)
(掌聲及歡呼)
That's it.
就這樣
(Applause)
(掌聲)
I wish I could tell you guys that I learned all these valuable lessons from Lolly and they were instilled in me and it was great, but alas, I am a late bloomer in all regards. So I had to learn a couple of lessons from the era of Bitchy Bevy. What kind of person has 10 assistants in five years? Bitchy Bevy, that’s who.
我希望我能告訴各位 從拉莉學到這些寶貴的教訓 我謹記在心,這真的很棒 但,唉,我在各方面 都是大器晚成 所以,我還得多向 從前的「難搞貝薇」學習 什麼樣的人在五年內 會有十個助理啊? 就是難搞的貝薇
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
Now I didn’t start out my career with a toxic attitude. No, initially I was really happy to be in the fashion industry. You know, but then I began to compare my trajectory to others, and I also began to feel burned out because I was burdened by these personas that I had created that were allegedly going to help me progress in my career. I made a couple of mistakes. One, I thought that being snarky was a good career move. It wasn’t. I also thought I look good in the color brown. I actually don’t.
我可沒有帶著有害的態度 展開我的職涯 沒有,一開始我很開心 能進入時尚業 但接著,我會開始拿我的職涯 去和其他人做比較 而且我也開始感到倦怠 因為我創造出的這些角色 成了我的重擔 即使他們應該能協助我的職涯發展 我犯過兩個錯誤 第一,我以為表現得很毒舌 是很好的職涯對策 並不是,我也以為我和棕色很搭 其實也沒有 (笑聲)
(Laughter)
是啊
Yeah.
(笑聲)
(Laughter)
And, you know, I just -- in my dream montage, I wanted to get away from Bitchy Bevy. I wanted to get away from the color brown. And so in the movie version of my life, as soon as I quit my job, I’m a yoga guru. I’m extremely limber and very happy. Come to think of it though, guys, I’m actually limber and happy right now. But I would be lying -- and I believe it is against international law to lie during a TED Talk --
我只是 在我夢想的人生場景中 我想要遠離難搞貝薇、遠離棕色 如果我的人生有電影版 我辭職之後 就要去當瑜伽老師 柔軟度超好而且非常快樂 仔細想想,各位,我現在 其實就很柔軟且快樂 但那就是我在說謊 我相信國際法有規定不可以 在 TED 演講上說謊
(Laughter)
所以我不會那麼做
so I’m not going to do that. And as a matter of fact, my insecurities popped back up as late as last year. I was minding my business, as one does, perusing social media, and I saw people excelling in a space where I, you know, traditionally had a lot of success. So I’m looking at it and I’m like, “Well, why the hell they ain’t call me for that job?” And I have this, like, angst, and then I realize they didn’t call me for that job because you already said you didn’t want that job. You told the universe you weren’t into working like that. You don’t want a job -- I really don’t.
事實上,我的不安全感 在去年才又再次浮現 那時我和大家一樣閒來無事 瀏覽著社群媒體 看到在我曾經取得 無數成功的領域中 有人做得十分卓越 我就邊看邊想 "他們怎麼不找我去做那工作?" 我有種不安,接著我了解到 他們不找我,是因為 你已經說你不要那工作了 你已經告訴全世界 你對那種工作沒興趣 你不想要一份工作—— 我真的不想
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
I’m not into it. So... that’s why it happened. And what I realize is that intellectually I had grown and evolved, but emotionally ... I was Tom Petty and I was living in “Petticoat Junction.”
我對它沒興趣 所以… 那就是背後的原因 我了解到的是 在智慧上我成長、進步了 但情緒上… 我還是湯姆‧佩蒂 就像生活在情境喜劇 《襯裙交界處》中
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
I told y’all that brown doesn’t look good on me; petty looks even worse. It’s not my shade. And so what I wound up having to do was really get a grip. I had to assess a few things about myself, and I decided to do a little self-help ritual called ... “Take a note, give a note.” It’s easy. When you see someone having something that you believe you deserve, you take a note. You ask yourself a few questions. Is it something that you really want? Perhaps that person is better suited than you are for that. Does the universe -- is the universe conspiring for you to have that? Really kind of try and be honest with who you are and where you’re at in life. Once you do that, you take a deep breath --
我告訴過各位 我和棕色並不搭 佩蒂看來比我還糟 那就不是我的色調 最後我得做的是 做好自我控制 我得評估我自己的幾件事 我決定要試一種 自救的小方法叫做 "做筆記、給筆記" 很簡單,當你看到別人 獲得什麼是你覺得你應得的 你就開始做筆記 問自己幾個問題 這真的是你想要的嗎? 也許那個人比你更適合得到它 世界是否也在共同促成你得到它? 真正試著誠實面對 自己是什麼樣的人 以及你在人生的哪個階段 做了這些之後,深呼吸
(Inhales)
(吸氣)
and you say, “Their wins have nothing to do with my worthiness.” And then you’re ready to give a note. You go on social media, and you say congratulations. Or my personal favorite, you pick up the phone, like it’s the 20th century, and you say, “Congratulations, kudos, you did that, Al! You go, girl!” You do all the things. Instantly you feel like a better human being because you have actually extended grace. You’ve extended grace. You’ve extended grace to someone else. And I believe that when you remove malice from your heart, not only do you feel better, you look better. I think you lose your frown lines and your wrinkles lessen and your age spots disappear. I believe it’s better than Botox, extending grace. I do.
說"他們的勝利 和我的價值毫無關係" 接著你就準備好把筆記給交出去了 你到社群媒體上 去說恭喜 或我個人偏愛的做法 你拿起電話,好像 還在二十世紀一樣 說"恭喜,好讚 你辦到了,幹得好,女孩" 去做這些事 馬上,你就會覺得 自己成了更好的人 因為,你展現了你的風度 展現你的風度 對他人展現出風度 而我相信當你心中 不再懷著怨恨 你不僅會感覺良好 連氣色都會更好 我認為你的抬頭紋 會不見,皺紋會變少 老人斑會消失 我認為展現風度 比打肉毒更有效 真的 (掌聲)
(Applause)
Yeah. No, but let me get back to the note thing. So one of my favorite notes is from Willie Shakespeare. “To thine own self be true.” Now we’ve all read self-help books, and the first line of defense is always “Be your most authentic self.” And I believe in that. I believe that nobody can be you but you, so you might as well show up and show out. But here’s the quandary that the bard never put forth. What if you don’t really know who you are because you suppressed your inner self? You’ve suppressed the core of you. You’ve suppressed the best parts of you because you took on these other identities and these personas in an effort to make your life better. Because, you know, we all buy into some things about what we’re supposed to be doing and who we’re supposed to be. So what if you squelch that? Because I know I had to excavate to dig up a Little Brown Bevy. But the way I found her was with three questions. Who am I at my core? How am I being perceived? How would I like to be perceived?
好 讓我回來談筆記 所以,我最喜歡的筆記之一 出自莎士比亞 "忠於自己" 我們都讀過勵志書籍 而第一道防線通常都是 "做最真實的自己" 我相信這一點 我相信,除了你以外 沒有人能夠成為你 所以你不如就出面並展現自我 但這位詩人始終沒有提出一個窘境 萬一你不知道你是誰 是因為你壓抑內在的自我呢? 你壓抑了你的內心 你最好的那一部分 因為你要扮演各種身分、角色 試圖讓你的人生變更好 因為我們都會相信一些說法 告訴我們該做什麼事 該成為怎樣的人 那如果你反抗這些說法呢 因為我知道我得去 深入了解"小貝薇" 但是我在找尋她時 想了三個問題 在內心深處的我到底是誰? 我認為我是誰? 還有我希望別人認為我是誰?
Who am I at my core? At my core I’m looking to authentically connect with people. I don't like a cursory, you know, interaction, and I do not believe in networking. I like an authentic connection. I’m also curious and I’m adventurous and I’m kind and I’ve got big dreams.
我在內心深處是什麼樣的人 我想要真誠地與人相處 我不想要敷衍地與人互動 而且我不相信人脈這回事 因為我想要的是真誠的感情 我有好奇心且喜愛冒險 而且我待人友善 還有我有遠大的夢想
How am I being perceived? Well, y’all know the nickname, Bitchy Bevy ... so, duh. But here’s the problem. There’s a lot of power in that persona, and I actually really enjoyed it for a time, you know, because you can make a lot of money being a bitch, especially in fashion.
我是如何看待自己的? 當然,你們都知道我的綽號 "難搞的貝薇" 所以這是廢話 但是問題來了 這個角色的形象很強大的 而我有段時間也十分享受 因為你可以用犯賤來賺錢 又是從事與時尚有關的內容
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
But it’s also incredibly lonely and isolating, and I didn’t want to live that life anymore. And so I decided to change my life. And I left all of that alone. I really did, like, just change my spirit. And leaving fashion obviously helped. And when I did that, all of a sudden, I let Little Brown Bevy out to play.
但是她也極度寂寞與邊緣 而我不想再過這樣的生活了 所以我才決定改變人生 將一切拋諸腦後 我真的做了,改變心態 離開了時尚圈很明顯有用 當我真的改變後 突然間,小貝薇就出現了
Little Brown Bevy. I love her so much. Little Brown Bevy is a nerdy girl, and so I let my nerdy pursuits come out to play. I must have joined every museum on Museum Mile in New York City. I began to travel the world just to look at architecture I had always dreamed of. I learned how to be alone without being lonely. My spirit shifted. I became a better person. You can ask people -- I became a better person.
小貝薇 我好愛她 小貝薇是個書呆子 所以我找回了我的書呆氣質 我必須要加入每間 紐約博物館大道上的博物館會員 我開始環遊世界 就只是為了看看夢想中的建築 我學會了如何自處而不孤獨 我的心態改變了 變成了一個更好的人 你可以問我身邊的人 我已經成為了一個更好的人
And now I get to stand here in front of you guys with no bravado, with nothing to prove, I tell you, with nothing to prove. I’m not trying to prove nothing to y’all.
而現在我能站在大家面前 沒有要炫耀自己 沒有要證明什麼 我真的沒有要證明什麼 我不需要證明任何事
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
(Applause)
(掌聲)
(Cheers and applause)
(歡呼與掌聲)
Thank you.
謝謝大家
(Applause and cheers)
(掌聲與歡呼)
I have an open heart. And I can’t even believe that Little Brown Bevy from 150th Street and Eighth Avenue, from the hamlet of Harlem, is now an award-winning radio and TV host, an author, an actress, a creative consultant. I would do all those things for free. But here’s the thing. I ain’t cheap, and I’m definitely not free, so don't get any ideas.
我有一個開放的心胸 但我還是不能相信 我從第150號街跟第八大道 哈林區哈姆雷特的小貝薇 變成了獲獎無數的電台與電視主持人 一個作者 一個女演員 跟一個創意顧問 我可以無償地做這些事 但是重點是 我不廉價,更不是做免錢 別搞錯重點
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
(Applause)
(掌聲)
But I am here in this “Mama I made it” moment as someone who can show up as her most Bevyest self because I’ve done the work. Yeah, my most Bevyest self. So, you know, I’m going to show up -- some of you’ve met me -- you know I’m vibrant and boisterous, AKA loud. OK, you know that I’m going to show up, and I’ve got a pep in my high heel, red-bottom step. I do have heaving cleavage.
但我在這種 "媽我上電視了"的時刻 當一個最像自己的自己 是因為我做了改變 是的,最"貝薇"的自己 所以在此之前 我要來這裡演講 而你們有人認識我 知道我聲音很宏亮,也就是大嗓門 好,你們知道我會來 所以我穿上了紅底高跟鞋 做足了準備 帶上我的大胸部
(Laughter)
(笑聲)
And I’ve got a tell-it-like-it-is approach to life that’s always dosed with a ladle of love.
而且我有老實的生活哲理 這永遠少不了些許的愛
It took me 55 years to get here. So, Chris Rock, you’re right. I’m a late bloomer. And that’s OK. Because I’m right on time, Because it gets greater later.
我花了55年才來到這裡 所以,克里斯‧洛克,你是對的 我是個大器晚成的人 但是沒關係 因為我來的正好 因為我的人生只會更精彩
Thank you.
謝謝
(Applause and cheers)
(掌聲與歡呼)