I'm a writer and a journalist, and I'm also an insanely curious person, so in 22 years as a journalist, I've learned how to do a lot of new things. And three years ago, one of the things I learned how to do was to become invisible. I became one of the working homeless. I quit my job as a newspaper editor after my father died in February of that same year, and decided to travel. His death hit me pretty hard. And there were a lot of things that I wanted to feel and deal with while I was doing that.
我是個作家,也是個新聞從業員 我也是一個求知慾極強的人 所以在跑新聞的22年裡 我學習了很多新奇事物 三年前,我學懂的其中一件事 就是當個隱世人 我變成了在職無家者 我辭去了報紙編輯的工作 就在我父親同年二月去世之後 我決定踏上旅途 父親的去世對我打擊很大 當時這樣決定,因我有很多情感和事情要處理
I've camped my whole life. And I decided that living in a van for a year to do this would be like one long camping trip. So I packed my cat, my Rottweiler and my camping gear into a 1975 Chevy van, and drove off into the sunset, having fully failed to realize three critical things. One: that society equates living in a permanent structure, even a shack, with having value as a person. Two: I failed to realize how quickly the negative perceptions of other people can impact our reality, if we let it. Three: I failed to realize that homelessness is an attitude, not a lifestyle.
旅程中我天天露營 我也決定在旅行車中生活一年 就像一趟漫長的露營旅行 然後我帶著貓,我的洛威拿犬 還有我的露營裝備 都帶上1975年雪佛蘭旅行車 直開車去看日落 完全沒有想到三件很嚴重的事 一,社會把「固定住房」 即使只是很狹小的房間 與「人的價值」掛勾 二,我沒有意識到,很快地, 其他人的負面批評 對我們的實況影響有多大,假如我們容許 三,我沒有意識到 無家可歸是一種生活態度 不是一種生活方式
At first, living in the van was great. I showered in campgrounds. I ate out regularly. And I had time to relax and to grieve. But then the anger and the depression about my father's death set in. My freelance job ended. And I had to get a full-time job to pay the bills. What had been a really mild spring turned into a miserably hot summer. And it became impossible to park anywhere -- (Laughs) -- without being very obvious that I had a cat and a dog with me, and it was really hot. The cat came and went through an open window in the van. The doggy went into doggy day care. And I sweated. Whenever I could, I used employee showers in office buildings and truck stops. Or I washed up in public rest rooms.
剛開始,住在旅行車真的不賴 我在營地洗澡,我按時在外用餐 我還有時間休息和哀悼悲痛 但當父親去世產生的悲憤和沮喪開始加劇 自由撰稿的工作結束了。我必須找全職 來支付各種帳單 本來溫和的春天 亦漸漸變成酷熱難擋的夏天 越來越難找到泊車的地方 (一笑) 更別提 我那一貓一狗,實在夠熱 我的貓從車窗來回地跑 我的狗送到日間護理中心 而我則大汗淋漓 當情況許可 我會使用車站職員淋浴間 或在公眾衛生間洗身
Nighttime temperatures in the van rarely dropped below 80 degrees Fahrenheit, making it difficult or impossible to sleep. Food rotted in the heat. Ice in my ice chest melted within hours, and it was pretty miserable. I couldn't afford to find an apartment, or couldn't afford an apartment that would allow me to have the Rottweiler and the cat. And I refused to give them up, so I stayed in the van. And when the heat made me too sick to walk the 50 feet to the public restroom outside my van at night, I used a bucket and a trash bag as a toilet.
夜間的車廂中 很少在華氏80度以下 讓人幾乎無法入睡 食物在高溫下腐壞 冰箱裡的冰粒,幾小時就融化了 那真是難捱的歲月 我沒錢住進准許養貓狗的公寓 更沒法找到 准我養貓狗的公寓 我又不想拋棄牠們 所以我繼續住在旅行車裡 當夜間的高溫讓我連走50米 到公眾衛生間都懶得走時 而那就在我的旅行車外 我只能用桶和垃圾袋當廁所
When winter weather set in, the temperatures dropped below freezing. And they stayed there. And I faced a whole new set of challenges. I parked a different place every night so I would avoid being noticed and hassled by the police. I didn't always succeed.
當冬天來臨時,溫度驟降 至零度以下,持續寒冷 我又得面對另一番新挑戰 每晚我都將車泊在不同地方 避免警察發現,惹來爭執 當然我不是每次都成功避過
But I felt out of control of my life. And I don't know when or how it happened, but the speed at which I went from being a talented writer and journalist to being a homeless woman, living in a van, took my breath away. I hadn't changed. My I.Q. hadn't dropped. My talent, my integrity, my values, everything about me remained the same. But I had changed somehow. I spiraled deeper and deeper into a depression.
但我已無力掌握自己的生活了 我甚至不明白甚麼時候,為何會這樣 但那過程之快 從我作為一個有才華的作者,一個新聞從業員 變成一個住在車裡的無家者 這簡直是快得難以置信 我絲毫未變,我智商沒降 我的才能、尊嚴、價值觀 一切關於我的,都沒有改變 但某程度上我已經不同了 我在沮喪的旋渦裡越鑽越深
And eventually someone referred me to a homeless health clinic. And I went. I hadn't bathed in three days. I was as smelly and as depressed as anyone in line. I just wasn't drunk or high. And when several of the homeless men realized that, including a former university professor, they said, "You aren't homeless. Why are you really here?" Other homeless people didn't see me as homeless, but I did. Then the professor listened to my story and he said, "You have a job. You have hope. The real homeless don't have hope." A reaction to the medication the clinic gave me for my depression left me suicidal. And I remember thinking, "If I killed myself, no one would notice."
最後有人介紹我到為無家者開設的健康院 我去了。我三天沒洗澡了 我跟排隊中人一樣沮喪和難聞 我只是沒有喝醉或神志不清 當某些無家者發現 包括一個前任大學教授,他們說︰ 「你本非無家,你為何落得如此下場?」 其他無家者不把我當成無家者 但我認為我已無家可歸 那教授聽完我的故事後,他說 「你有工作,你有希望」 「真正的無家者連希望都沒有」 診所給我的抗抑鬱藥有副作用 讓我有自殺傾向,我記得當時在想 「即使我自殺,沒有人在意」
A friend told me, shortly after that, that she had heard that Tim Russert, a nationally renowned journalist, had been talking about me on national T.V. An essay I'd written about my father, the year before he died, was in Tim's new book. And he was doing the talk show circuit. And he was talking about my writing. And when I realized that Tim Russert, former moderator of "Meet the Press," was talking about my writing, while I was living in a van in a Wal-Mart parking lot, I started laughing. You should too. (Laughter)
不久之後,有朋友告訴我 她聽說提姆•羅斯 一個知名記者 在全國廣播的電視節目上談到了我 一篇我寫有關我父親的文章 在他去世前一年寫的‧文章被收錄到提姆的新書 當時他在巡迴演講,提到我的文章 當我發現提姆羅斯,《與傳媒會見》前主持™ 竟然在談論我的文章 而我卻在一輛泊在超市外的旅行車裡過活 我開始失笑 你也該笑 (笑聲)
I started laughing because it got to the point where, was I a writer, or was I a homeless woman? So I went in the bookstore. And I found Tim's book. And I stood there. And I reread my essay. And I cried. Because I was a writer. I was a writer. Shortly after that I moved back to Tennessee. I alternated between living in a van and couch surfing with friends. And I started writing again. By the summer of the following year I was a working journalist. I was winning awards. I was living in my own apartment. I was no longer homeless. And I was no longer invisible.
我開始笑了 因為這正是問題的所在 我究竟是個作者,還是個無家者? 於是我走進書店。 我找到提姆的新書 我站在那,重新讀一次自己的文章 我哭了 因為我是一個作者 我是一個作者 不久之後我搬回了田納西 有時睡旅行車,有時睡朋友家的沙發 我又重新開始寫作了 接下來的夏天,我又回到新聞從業員的崗位 我是個得獎記者。 我住進自己的公寓 我不再無家可歸 我不再被忽視
Thousands of people work full and part-time jobs, and live in their cars. But society continues to stigmatize and criminalize living in your vehicle or on the streets. So the homeless, the working homeless, primarily remain invisible. But if you ever meet one, engage them, encourage them, and offer them hope. The human spirit can overcome anything if it has hope. And I'm not here to be the poster girl for the homeless. I'm not here to encourage you to give money to the next panhandler you meet. But I am here to tell you that, based on my experience, people are not where they live, where they sleep, or what their life situation is at any given time. Three years ago I was living in a van in a Wal-Mart parking lot, and today I'm speaking at TED. Hope always, always finds a way. Thank you. (Applause)
無數人擁有全職或兼職工作 但他們住在車裡 社會持續歧視他們 把住在車上或露宿者視為罪犯 無家者及在職無家者,大部份還是繼續隱閉 但如果你遇到他們 僱用他們、鼓勵他們、給他們希望 人類的意志可以克服一切困難 我不是想在此為無家者宣傳 我不是想鼓勵你們施捨乞丐 我來此告訴你,根據我的經驗 人的價值,不是由他們的住處 不是由他們睡哪裡 不是由他們某時期的生活狀態來決定 三年前,我住在旅行車上 停在沃瑪超市的停車場內 而今天我卻在TED演講 希望!永遠永遠會找到出路‧謝謝! (掌聲)